06x08 - Rip Van Flintstone

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Flintstones". Aired: September 30, 1960 – April 1, 1966.*
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Living in Bedrock, Fred Flintstone works an unsatisfying job, but returns home to his wife Wilma and eventually daughter Pebbles.
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06x08 - Rip Van Flintstone

Post by bunniefuu »

All right, break it up,
you kids.

Get away if you're
not buying.

Out! Out! Out!

- All right.
- O.K.

That goes
for you, too, buddy.

No money, no reading.

I'm not reading.
I'm just looking at the pictures.

When you learn
to read,

I'll really be in trouble,
won't I?

Oh, ho ho ho.
Very funny, wise guy.

Hey, Wilma,

aren't you finished
shopping yet?

I'm getting bored.

It was your idea
to shop with me

and show me how to
save money, remember?

All you've saved is the
price of a magazine.

Now just a minute.

Hey, Wilma, look!

It's those skate bones
the kids are riding.

I've been wanting
to try one.

Put it back.
You'll hurt yourself.

Are you kidding?

Why, I'm
a natural-Born athlete.

Watch this.

See?

Nothing to it.

I can see why the kids
get hooked on these.

Sure beats walking.

Here comes one of those
adult natural-Born athletes.

This means trouble.

Hey, where am I?

What's going on?

Yaaaa!

Wilma!

I knew it.

Wilma, do something!
I'm out of control!

Of all the nerve!

[Mumbling]

Fred, will you please
put that skate bone back?

You're making
a spectacle of yourself.

Dad-Blasted skate bone.

[Muttering]

[Toot]

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy

Of Fred's two feet

When you're
with the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo
time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have
a gay old time

One giant brontosaurus
soup bone,

250 grapefruits,

One skate bone,

Plus damage to
revolving door.

And that'll be $62.52.

Next time I'll do the
shopping, O.K., Fred?

The management would be
most grateful, madam.

Are you insinuating
I'm a troublemaker?

No, sir,
not insinuating.

I'm telling you!

Watch it, bud. I'm a
karate expert, you know.

Knock it off, Fred.
Let's get out of here.

Am I glad
tomorrow's sunday.

I'm gonna spend
the whole day

snoozing
in our backyard.

But tomorrow Mr. Slate
has his annual picnic

for his employees.

Well, here's one employee
that's not going.

Those picnics
are a drag.

Oh, Fred, company picnics
are a lot of fun!

Pebbles would love it.

[Baby talk]

See? Pebbles
wants to go.

You can't disappoint her.

O.K., O.K.
We'll go.

But I warn you,
it'll be dull.

Let's ask Betty
and Barney to come along.

Yeah, we may as well
bore them, too.

Oh, really, Fred!

Move it a little to
the right, Bam-Bam.

Not bad, but it still
doesn't look right.

Move the tree
another couple of feet.

Bamm-Bamm.

Bamm bamm-Bamm.

Bamm!

That looks great.
Leave it there.

Having the world's
strongest boy for a son

makes landscaping
real easy.

Uh, how about
lunch, son?

[Baby talk]

O.K., Let's go inside,
and I'll fix you some.

That's my boy
who's carrying me.

Fred, I just
spoke to Betty.

They're coming
to the picnic with us.

That's nice. I hope Barney
brings his checkerboard

because that'll be the
wildest event of the day.

Hey, Wilma, look,

I bought one of those
remote control TV tuners.

Watch this.

Isn't that great,
Wilma?

A guy don't have to
move off his chair.

What'll they
think of next?

Something to make a guy
move off his chair, I hope.

Welcome once again,
everybody,

To the slate construction
annual picnic

For employees and guests,

Given each year
through the generosity

of the company's
beloved president.

- Yay! Yay!
- Yay!

Here we go.

First it's a long-Winded
speech by Slate,

Then we play
corny games.

I hope the food
is better this year!

- Fred!
- Relax, Wilma.

Slate'll never know
who yelled.

Starting a little early
with the wisecracks,

aren't you, Flintstone?

Oh, he'll never know,
will he?

Now, before we
start the games,

let's all gather together
for the company picture.

All employees
gather up front, please.

Are you getting
in the picture, Fred?

Yeah, just to keep me awake.
Company pictures bore me.

I'm using
my new camera.

We'll see the picture in 10
seconds after I press the button.

Now, hold still
while I focus.

Psst, Barney.

Watch me liven up
the situation a little.

Nothing like a hotfoot
to get things jumping.

Gee, Fred, that's
not very nice.

You might
get caught.

No, never happen.

All right,
watch the birdie.

Yeow! What the...

some clown gave me
a hotfoot.

We'll see who
the clown is in a second.

I snapped the picture
just before you yelled.

Hmm... I might've known.

Flintstone gave you
the hotfoot, Sandy.

Flintstone, hey?

Oh, ho, you're
a riot, Fred.

Heh heh heh.

Ju-Just a gag,
Sandy.

No hard feelings,
huh, pal?

I came prepared for you
this year, Flintstone.

Just a gag, Fred.

No hard feelings,
huh, pal?

Shake.

You're O.K., Sandy.

[Buzz]

Sorry about that,
Fred.

Here. Have a cigar.

Nothing like
a good laugh, no Fred?

Have a light.

Naturally,
this is one of those...

exploding cigars.

Like I was saying,
Fred,

You're a regular riot.

I hate guys that
can't take a joke.

Glad to hear you
say that.

I got something that'll
hand you a big laugh.

What is it, Barney?

Aaahhh!

Sure glad you can
take a joke, Fred.

Out! Out! Out! Out!

I'm out, I'm out,
I'm out.

Boy, do I hate
practical jokers.

Fred, are you going to
take part in any games?

I gave up kids' games
in the third grade.

What's wrong with him?

I have a feeling he's not
much of a mingler today.

Gangway, Flintstone,

We're practicing for
the three-Legged race.

Somebody ought to throw
a net over those guys.

Oh, brother,
this is too much!

Hey, Dino,
Come here, boy!

[Yip yip yip]

Come on, Dino,

Let's you and me find a
nice cool place to relax

Where there are no
screwballs around.

[Panting]

Climbing this hill
was a real workout.

May as well rest

before going back
to the picnic.

I don't want to watch
those silly games

Like wheelbarrow racing,
sing-along,

Spoon and egg contests,
and all the...

[snoring]

Hey!

I must've fallen asleep.

This incline
really pooped me out.

[Yawning]

I feel stiff as a board.

Heh heh heh.

Must be old age
creeping up on me.

I better get Dino and go
back to that dull picnic.

Here, Dino!
Come here, boy!

Dino!

Here, boy.

Huh!

Guess he got
tired of waiting,

Went back by himself.

I'll do the same
before Wilma gets sore.

How do you like that?

Some wise guy joker
glued a beard on me

while I was sleeping.

What a sneaky trick.

What kind of glue is this?

I bet Barney did this

'Cause I didn't laugh
at his corny joke.

Boy, that must be
pretty strong glue.

This thing is on for good.

I'll get it off later.

Now I better get back.

I don't get it.

Place is deserted.

All the people gone.
Even the tables are gone.

They must've gone
to another picnic area.

Maybe I can catch up
to them.

The whiskers again!

This'll give me
a lot of trouble.

Only one way
to get it out of the way.

It may not look hot,
but I won't trip over it.

I'll clobber Barney
for doing this to me.

Holy mackerel!

That's the biggest
jackrabbit I ever saw.

I got him!

Hey! You're
not a jackrabbit.

I ain't got
enough trouble.

Now it's
trigger-Happy hunters.

Gee, I'm sorry,
old man.

Do you know
where everyone

From the slate
company picnic went?

Slate company?

Slate? Hmm.

The only
slate company I know

Went out of business
about 20 years ago.

What you talking about?

I was at the picnic
an hour ago.

Nevermind.
I'll find them myself.

It must be awful to grow
old and absent-minded.

Not a sign of anyone.

Might as well go home.

It's a long walk
to Bedrock, too.

Especially dragging
this false beard all the way.

Oh, boy,
when I get home,

That wise guy Barney's
gonna get it good.

Well... I made it,

But, oh, my aching back.

Hey, what's this?

I never saw that before.

Only 2,000 people
live in Bedrock.

Somebody sure goofed
on that sign.

I'll have to report this
to the town council.

The pool hall!

I'll have one of the g*ng
drive me home.

Might even sh**t a game
myself first.

Hiya, fellas.

Anyone seen
Sam Shaleface

Or Ricky Rockslide?

Sorry, never heard
of them, pops.

What you'd mean? I play pool
with them all the time.

I'm Fred Flintstone.

Ever hear of
a Flintstone, Marvin?

Never heard of him.

Try the old folks' home, pops.

I don't
understand it.

I didn't see
one familiar face.

Oh, well.

I'll just walk
the rest of the way.

Home at last.

Glad to be here.

I'm not even sore
at Barney anymore.

I'll sneak in and give
Wilma a surprise kiss.

[Kiss]

Hiya, honey!

Eee!

A man!

You should be ashamed,

Sneaking into
a woman's house.

And at your age, too.

This is my house.

I live here.

My husband
bought me something

to take care
of men like you. Fang.

Here, fang.
Sic 'im, boy.

[Grr]

Yikes!

[Chomp]

[Grr]

Some of these old men are
worse than the young ones.

I don't get it.

Maybe Barney next door
can tell me what's going on.

Hey, Barney, open up!

You're a bit early for Halloween,
aren't you, buddy?

You're not Barney.

Who?

Barney Rubble.
Doesn't he live here?

That's a hot one.

B.J. Rubble, the
multimillionaire living here?

You're a comedian,
mister.

Barney Rubble,
a millionaire?

Yeah. Struck it rich
in oil years ago.

Mr. Rubble lives
on top of that hill.

Calls the estate
Sandstone Simeon.

Everyone knows about
B.J. Rubble the millionaire.

You must've been asleep
for the last 20 years, pal.

Gee. Maybe he's right.

Maybe I have been asleep
for 20 years.

Like in that
Rip Van Winklestone story.

I've slept
my whole life away.

My family's gone,

My friends disappeared,

Barney is rich.

Barney!

He'll remember me!

I'm his best friend.

He'll know where
Wilma and Pebbles are.

Boy, I guess he did
hit it rich.

Look at this place.

Must've cost
at least $2,000.

Boy, will I be glad
to see a friendly face.

Hold it, buddy.

Is Mr. B.J. Rubble
expecting you?

I'm his best friend.

I'm Fred Flintstone.

One moment, gramps.

If Rubble thinks
I'm calling him B.J.,

He's got another
guess coming.

Here's another guy claiming
to be Fred Flintstone, sir.

Shall I, uh,
send him away?

Uh, Flintstone?

All right,
send him up.

Could it be
Fred Flintstone

After all
these years?

The master will see you
in the drawing room.

I didn't know
Barney could draw.

Another of the master's
crude friends.

Imagine Barney
having all this dough,

and I wasn't around
to help him enjoy it.


This could be another
phony saying he's Fred.

I'll check him out
carefully.

That will be all,
Stonyslaus.

You may finish polishing
my Rocks-Royce.

Who did you say
you were?

Don't you know me,
Barney?

I'm Fred.

Fred Flintstone.

Well, uh, you could be.

But it's been
a long time,

And I got to make sure.

There's the old pal of yours.
Your old pal will know

If you're the real McCoy.
I mean, Flintstone.

It's Dino!

My old faithful dog Dino!

Here, Dino!

Come on, pal!

It's me, Fred!

Huh?

[Aaah]

Come to papa, Dino.

Ha ha ha!

You haven't forgotten me,
have you, Dino?

Fred, it's you.
It's really you.

Welcome home, Fred.

Welcome home.

Thanks, Barney.
For a while there,

I thought I'd never see
anyone I knew again.

I suppose you're wondering
where I've been.

The thought has crossed my mind.
Where were you?

Well, as near
as I can figure out,

I was asleep.

It all started
at the picnic.

Then when I woke up,

Nothing was the same.

Everybody's gone.

I don't know
what happened

To Wilma and pebbles.

Pebbles married
my boy Bamm-Bamm.

They live with me.

Ohh.

She's a beauty,
Fred.

Want to see her?

Sure, Barney!

One thing-- Don't
tell her who I am.

I've been away too long.

Pebbles may not be able
to adjust to this.

Just let me look at her

And just fade away.

Yeah, I understand,
Fred.

Hey, Pebbles,
Bamm-Bamm.

Will you come here
a minute?

Coming, dad.

Hi, dad.

Oh, I see you
have company.

Pebbles, I'd like you to
meet, uh, Mr., Uh...

Glump. Yeah.
An old friend.

Hello,
Mr. Glump.

Oh.

You're as lovely
as Barney said.

Thank you.

This is my husband
Bamm-Bamm.

Pleased to meet you,
Mr. Glump.

Thanks, son.

That's Bamm-Bamm,
all right.

Sorry to rush off,
Mr. Glump.

We're off
to our summer place.

Oh, sure, sure.

So-- So long, kids.

Goodbye,
Mr. Glump.

Bye, sir.

They're wonderful
kids, Fred.

I'm glad to say they're
living happily ever after.

Yep. And I missed
watching them grow up.

Because you were
a grouchy old bear

and wandered off
at the picnic.

What about Wilma?

How is she?
Where I can find her?

Oh, she's fine, Fred.

After you disappeared,

Betty and I
took care of her.

She's living in a nice little
cottage on my estate.

You can find her there.

I wonder if she'll
remember me.

This is the latest
I've ever come home.

Yes? Who is it?

Come on, speak up.

Oh, it's
a brush salesman.

Sorry, young man.
I have plenty of brushes.

Wilma! Don't you
know me?

It's Fred.

Sorry, young man.

I've got plenty
of bread.

Fred, not bread.

Speak into the tube,
young man.

I said I'm Fred!

Not bread!

You don't have to
shout, you know.

Somehow I had
this pictured

as a much more
sentimental meeting.

Stop mumbling,
will you?

I said I'm Fred,
your long-Lost husband!

Fred!

Fred?

My Fred?

After all these years,

Could it be possible?

Here,
let me look at you.

By golly,
look at that tummy.

It is Fred!

Oh, Fred, you've come
home to me at last.

But what happened?

Where you've been?
Were you kidnapped?

Get hit on the head and lose
your memory? Shanghaied?

Well, not exactly, honey.

I just fell asleep.

You fell asleep?

You mean
for 20 years?

I didn't mind you taking
a nap occasionally,

But to fall asleep
for 20 years

And leave me to raise Pebbles
alone without a father?

Why,
the nerve of it.

When will you
wake up, Fred?

Wake up, wake up!

Wake up. Wake up, Fred.

Wake up.

Huh?

I-I'm sorry, Wilma.

I didn't mean to do it.

Come on, Fred.
Wake up.

The games are
about to start.

What?

Wilma, it's you!

And you're young
and beautiful.

Well, thanks, Fred,

But are you going
to join in the fun

Or sleep your life away?

You bet I'm getting in
on the fun! Oh, boy!

Mmm!

I get a second chance!

Let me
at them picnickers.

I'll show 'em
how to have fun.

A nap just seems
to do wonders for Fred.

Here comes Fred. Maybe
I can talk him into entering

The wheelbarrow race.

You bet, pal.

We're going to
sweep the event!

Gangway! Here come
the champs!

And the winner
is the team

Of Flintstone
and Rubble!

Ha ha!

Oh, boy, Barney,

We got this race
all tied up.

And now for
the pie-Eating contest

between Sandy
and Flintstone.

Gentlemen,
are you ready?

Yes, sir!

Sorry, Sandy, but when it
comes to eating pies,

I take the cake.

[Mr. Slate]
All right, go!

O.K.? Now what's
for dessert?

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

What got into Fred?

He's the life
of the party.

I'm not sure,

But I'll have him
take naps more often.

Hey, Fred,

How about posing
for a picture?

This is really
a trick camera, Rubble.

I'll cure Flintstone of his
practical joking once and for all.

O.K., Fred,

Watch the birdie.

Ah, you're a riot,
Mr. Slate.

It's the funniest gag
I've ever seen.

You must be
exhausted, Fred.

You've been
in every event.

That's what
picnics are for.

May I have everyone's
attention, please?

Once again,
it is my pleasure

To give the annual
slate award

To the most inspirational
employee of the year.

And this year,
we have a surprise winner,

The man who won
every event

And by his good humor
and sportsmanship

Made our picnic

A big success.

Fred Flintstone!

Who, me?

Oh, Fred, I'm
so proud of you.

Congratulations, pal.

You deserve it.

Let's hear it
for him, g*ng.

For he's
a jolly good fellow

For he's
a jolly good fellow

For he's
a jolly good fellow

Which nobody can deny

Aw, thanks, g*ng.

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred

Will win the fight

Then that cat will stay out

For the night

When you're

With the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!
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