06x25 - My Fair Freddy

Episode transcripts for the TV show "The Flintstones". Aired: September 30, 1960 – April 1, 1966.*
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Living in Bedrock, Fred Flintstone works an unsatisfying job, but returns home to his wife Wilma and eventually daughter Pebbles.
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06x25 - My Fair Freddy

Post by bunniefuu »

Hiya, Mrs. Flintstone.
Is Flintstone around?

Oh, uh, hello, Joe.
Um, uh, Fred?

Yeah. You know,
your husband?

Say, what's going on
in the garage?

Oh, no. Flintstone in
tights doing a ballet?

Ha ha ha ha!

Joe, wait. You wouldn't repeat
this to anyone, would you?

Are you kidding?

This is the scoop
of the century.

Oh, boy. And they call
us women gossipy.

[Sighs]

[Toot]

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Let's ride with the family
down the street

Through the courtesy

Of Fred's two feet

When you're with
the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo
time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

Stonyside country club,
mecca of Bedrock's aristocracy.

Here, the selected few gather
to enjoy the opulence and luxury

of the good life.

Here, the cultured
and more refined--

In other words,
rich Bedrock people--

Can enjoy a dip in
the club swimming pool...

Or roll a few lines in
their private bowling alley.

They even have an
a*t*matic pin setter.

Then there is the quiet luxury
of a friendly game of billiards.

In short, this is a club
anyone would love to join.

At this moment
on the Stonyside golf course,

The powerful membership committee
has met for a round of golf

And to consider the
application of a new member.

"Fred Flintstone."

Rather a crude, common name,
don't you think?

Quite so, dear.

We must be careful about whom
we permit in Stonyside club.

It's our responsibility to retain
the strictly upper-Crust nature

of our membership.

Caddie!

We can't be too careful.

We must preserve
our noble strain.

It's so nice
to be rich and cultured

and better
than other people.

How true.

Fore!

Did anyone see
where my ball went?

We did, and it didn't.

Oh, tsk, tsk, tsk.
I'm so sorry, dear.

We must replace
all divots.

I'll give it
one more whack.

Fore!

Good heavens!

[Boink]

Did you keep your eye
on the ball that time?

Yes.

But try to keep your ball
off my eye, won't you, dear?

My, what a poor lie.

Oh, well.

It's the rule, sweetie.

Play the ball
where it lies.

Fore!

Um, Sophia...

Perhaps we should
forget golf for today.

I think we should get on
with investigating

this Flintstone person
immediately.

Good idea.

It would be much more fun
and safer.

Dino a pedigree?
Oh, come on, Wilma.

That's right, Betty,
a pedigree.

The dinosaur club just
mailed us his papers.

Ever since he learned he was
a descendant of a royal dinosaur,

He's been
a regular snob.

Just look at that
uppity attitude.

[Boing]

[Giggling]

I think that's the Flintstone
place just ahead, Stevens.

Yes, mum.

Rather a small house,
isn't it?

That's one strike
against him.

Perhaps it's
a summer cottage.

It had better be.

The place might even be
the servant's quarters.

I still can't believe it.

Your pet Dino
is actually the grandson

Of the duke of Snobstone.

Hear that? Her pet name
for her husband is Dino.

He's descended
from royalty.

It's wonderful for him.

I suppose now he'll want
a home in the country and a yacht.

[Affected] One lump of sugar
or two, my dear?

Two, please.

You know how extravagant
we blue bloods are.

My, isn't this
delicious?

Quiet. I can't hear.

A toast, Wilma.

Here's to all the wealth,
fame, and fanfare

that goes with royalty.

[Giggling]

[Wilma]
I'm with you.

I just love
that kind of talk.

So sophisticated.

Our kind of people.

We must sign them up
before some other club does.

That's what I've been saying
all along, darlin'.

I don't know if I'd like
being rich, Betty,

But I'd sure like
to try.

[Doorbell rings]

Come in,
the door's open.

Oh, Mrs. Flintstone,
congratulations.

We, the Stonyside country club
membership committee,

Are proud
to snap you up--

Er, uh, that is,

Uh, accept
your application

into our exclusive
country club.

Uh--Uh, really?

Here is your new
membership card.

Of course

We'll expect you at our
annual ball this saturday.

Oh, why, oh,
of course.

Fine. Goodbye now.

And please give our best
to your distinguished husband.

Heh heh heh heh.

Distinguished husband?

My Fred?

I knew Fred
applied for this,

but I never thought
he'd be accepted.

- I just don't get it.
- I think I do.

I bet they eavesdropped
on our conversation

About Dino's
royal background,

and they must have assumed
we were discussing Fred.

Um, you think
Fred will fit in

with that
high society crowd?

I don't know.
Fred's a wonderful man,

but he is a bit rough
around the edges.

All right. Let's get
things moving up there!

Let's go!

What are these guys
doing on the freeway?

Same as you, Fred--
Griping.

Come on! Move it!

[Squawk squawk]

I'm going to have to get me
a big air horn.

You don't need one,
you big blowhard.

[Squawk squawk]

Boy, you're really a bear
when you're late for dinner, Fred.

I am not a bear,
bubblehead!

How come you're yelling?

'Cause I always yell
before I clobber somebody.

Now, now, fellas,
cool it. Relax.

Hey, it's old Gazoo.

Hi, Gazoo. You still banished
from your home planet?

Oh, yes.

I'm piling up new good deeds
every day.

In fact, I'm going
to help you right now.

I'm going to get you out
of all this traffic.

Please, Gazoo,
I'd rather do it myself.

Oh, nonsense.

Oh, no.

You're a nice guy,

but this magic always
gets us in trouble.

Not this time.

How's this?

Hey, hey!
This isn't bad.

Thanks, Gazoo.

I guess we can't
get into trouble up here.

[Siren]

Pull over.

Let's see your pilot's
license, buddy.

Pilot's license?

I think
I'd better get lost.

Flying without
a license,

Going one way
on a one-Way airway.

Sign here, please.

Yes, sir.

I should have known.
That Gazoo and his darn magic.

That guy's nothing
but bad news.

Thank you, sir.

Fly carefully.

Happy landings.

Well, Gazoo did it again.

Gazoo, come on out here.

Gazoo!

There you are.

You got me
in a jam again.

Now get us down.

Knock off all this
hocus-Pocus.

It's hard to work when
you're angry with me.

First we get rid
of your propeller.

Hey, wait!

One of these days, you're
going to get yours, Gazoo.

Oh...

Now I really did it.

Don't worry, fellas.
I'll fix your car.

Don't help.

No trouble at all.

It'll be as good as new.

Run, Fred.
The car is after us.

Oh, darn! Nothing
is going right.

Oh, the car.

Stop, car!

Stop, I say!

That spaceguy can stay,
but the magic has to go.

Do us one more favor.
Don't do any favors.

Gee, I'm sorry.

Now I've really got to make
it up to them somehow.

Oh, bamm-Bamm,

Could you kids watch tv
in the other room, please?

Bam! Bam!
Bam bam bam!

It must be nice to have the
strongest boy in the world around.

It sure is.

I better be getting home.

Let me know how things are
in high society.

I'll probably
never find out, Betty.

Bye.

Hi, Wilma.
What's for dinner?

Oh, hi, Fred.
Congratulations.

Huh? What for?

On being accepted into
the Stonyside country club.

Bye.

Me in Stonyside?

That's what she said.
Hi, Fred.

Golf...

Bowling...

hello, Fred.

Swimming pool...

Yoo-hoo, Fred?

Mr. Flintstone?

Snooker.

Calling Fred.

Steam room...

Come in, please.

Hey, what's the big idea?

Sorry, Fred. I just wanted
your attention.

Boy, some greeting
that is.

Hiya, Pebbly-Poo.

I'd like to talk
to you, dear,

About joining the Stonyside
country club.

Isn't that crowd just a
little out of our class?

Don't be a snob,
Wilma.

They're just as good
as we are.

Are we ready for them?
They're High Society.

We're just plain poor.

Well, it'll be
sort of awkward.

Oh? How come
they let us join?

That's our problem.

It's all a mistake.

Their membership
committee

Heard me talking about Dino's
royal lineage.

They thought I was
talking about you.

They think
we're royalty, Fred.

It's all over town.

We're expected at
their annual ball saturday.

Fred, it'll be
so embarrassing.

I didn't have a chance
to explain it.

We'll be the laughingstock
of Bedrock.

Now, now, Wilma,
hang on.

We'll come up
with a solution.

I'll think of something.

I know you will, dear.
thanks.

Boy, women are sure sensitive
about these things.

I got to do something.

Maybe Barney
has some ideas.

Sure, Fred. That's easy.

Pack up and leave
for Australia.

Heh heh heh.

How would you like to go there
in one big bounce?

Think seriously,
will you?

We got to figure
a way out of this.

Oh, no! Not you!
Gazoo, get lost.

We already got troubles.
Thanks. Goodbye.

But I can help.

I know your problem,
and I've got a solution.

Turn Fred into a high-class
gentleman, right?

Exactly.

A debonair gentleman.

Oh, no, you're not!

I'm going to deflect your magic
with this mirror.

Uh-Oh. Wrong one.

I can help you.
I owe it to you.

Nothing doing. You'll k*ll us
with your good intentions.

Change Barney back
before his wife

has an inferiority
trauma or something.

The shale and hail
fall daily in the pail.

I'll change Barney back
to his own Dumb-Dumb self.

What do we do now,
Fred?

We got to work it out
without that black magic stuff.

How about you
going to a charm school, Fred?

How would you like
to go to the hospital?

I think he's got it.

What, a hole
in his skull?

Charm school.
Only I'll be your teacher.

No, you don't.
No magic.

Right. I won't need magic.
Just work.

Why, I have centuries
of culture behind me.

I'll make a new man of you
without any gimmicks.

Is it a deal?

O.K. But remember,
no magic.

I promise.

Whee!

At last I can do
one great good deed.

Hi, Wilma.

Hello, Betty.

You're going to the posh
Stonyside ball saturday night?

I don't know.

Fred is taking a crash
program in culture

out in the garage.

He thinks
we might go unnoticed

If he can shape up
in time.

Let's get rid
of this dust.

Coochy coochy
coochy coochy.

Ee-Ee-Ee-

Ee-Choo!

Ooh, that's a relief.

[Sniff sniff]

[Gazoo]
All right, Flintstone,

First we learn
the proper way to walk.

This book on your head
will help give you poise.

Fred don't need that,
Gazoo.

He's been walking since
he was 10 years old.

Very funny.


Maybe now
you'll keep a level head.

Come, come, now, Fred.
Back to work.

Head high. Walk straight.

Remember,
keep the book balanced.

That's the key to grace,
poise,

And the walk of a gentleman of
culture and social distinction.

And without culture, you'll
be a man of social extinction.

Oop!
Almost lost the book.

There. I got it again.

This culture
is k*lling me.

You can start the music,
Mr. Rubble.

There's only
one sure way

to bring form and grace
into your manner--

The ballet.

You are out of your
rock-Picking head.

Just relax and go through
the various steps with me,

Keeping time
with the music.

Oh, brother.

I just hope
Wilma appreciates

what I'm going through
for her.

And 1, 2, 3.
1, 2, 3.

You've got the idea.
It's not difficult.

Hey! You know,
this stuff isn't bad at all.

Yatta datta datta datta
ya tee dum.

Gee, Fred
sure sounds happy.

Well, look at that.

I wasn't aware
Fred was fond of ballet.

Huh?

I just don't believe it.

Yatta datta datta
datta datta

Datta datta
datta datta

Datta datta datta
datta bum bum

I knew Fred was
boning up on culture,

But wow!

Oh, Wilma!

Wilma, hurry!

Care to see a
once-In-a-lifetime special?

I'm not the nosy type,
Betty,

But as a favor to you,
O.K.

It's getting so
I got to do everything myself.

It looks to me...

Like Barney is schooling Fred
on ballet.

Fred, Ballet?

Oh,
isn't that sweet?

He's doing it
all for me.

He's pretty good
at it, too.

Hiya, Mrs. Flintstone.
Is Flintstone around?

Oh, uh, hello, Joe.

Um, eh, Fred?

Yeah, you know,
your husband?

Say, what's going on
in the garage?

Oh, no. Flintstone in
tights doing a ballet?

Ha ha ha ha!

Joe, you wouldn't repeat
this to anyone, would you?

Are you kidding?

This is the scoop
of the century.

Hee hee hee hee.

Oh, boy. And they call
us women gossipy.

[Sighs]

Did you hear
about Flintstone?

Yeah, fantastic!

I got to see this
in person.

A member of the loyal order
of buffaloes

Doing that?

I knew he was odd,
but, gee!

He must have flipped
all at once.

Yeah, overwork.

Is he still
toe-Dancing?

Yeah, boy, is he ever.

Yatta datta
datta datta

Dum dum dum

The pail of shale is mainly
from falling hail.

Very good, Fred.

You're as ready
as you'll ever be.

You're on your own.

I'll check with you
later.

So long.
And thanks a bunch.

It's sure funny
no one can see Gazoo.

I don't want anybody to
see me in this outfit.

Poor Fred.
He's feeling mighty low.

Oh, this is terrible.

Fred's been humiliated
before all his friends,

And it's my fault.

I made him do this.

I should never have
tried to change him.

I'm going to apologize

And do what I can
to patch things up.

Oh, Fred.

Fred.

No one here
but us bushes.

Go away.

I just wanted to say

I'm sorry
I've been selfish.

If you'll forgive me,

We'll just forget
that Stonyside ball

And let people
think what they like.

Wilma, you're terrific.

And you know what?

We're going
to that ball,

but as ourselves.

We'll show
those highbrows

How to really
enjoy themselves.

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Heh heh heh heh.

My, isn't this
an exciting event?

How nice of you to come.

Our annual ball is off
to a grand start.

[Yawn]

This is more boring
than last year.

We'll sneak out later.

Hiya, folks!

Pour the cactus juice
and clear the dance floor.

The Flintstones are here.

Let's kick this party
into high gear.

Oh, Fred. Hee hee.

Good heavens.

What an appalling
entrance.

Step it up, you guys.

We want to dance.

Know any rock music?

You kidding?
We're dying to try.

This is it, group.
Let's rock out.

I say,
that looks like fun.

Beats heck
out of the waltz.

Come on, everybody.

Let's do the duck walk.

Waddle, waddle,
waddle like a

Duck walks

Quack, quack.
Quack, quack.

Waddle waddle

Quack

Lean right over

And flap
your wings

Quack, quack.
Quack, quack.

Waddle waddle

Quack

Follow right along

Like a mother
duck's chicks

Quack, quack.
Quack, quack.

Waddle waddle

Quack

It's a sure way

To get
your kicks

Quack, quack.
Quack, quack.

Good heavens.

What's happening
to our party?

Something that hasn't
happened in years--

People are
enjoying themselves.

Follow right along

Like a mother
duck's chicks

I shudder to think
how this will look

In tomorrow's
society page.

Ooh, but it is fun.

Quack waddle.

Quack quack

Well, Wilma, we made lots
of new friends tonight,

And I think
we learned a lesson--

If you can't be yourself,
then you're nobody.

Oh, Fred,
you're the greatest.

Hee hee hee.

How about inviting
everyone over for coffee?

Wonderful.
I'll go invite them.

I'll get the car.

What a wonderful evening
this has been.

Gazoo!

Hello, Fred.

I'm sorry about
that ballet outfit.

You were laughed at
by all your friends.

Aw, forget it.

Put it there.

Hmm? You're not angry?

Heck, no. You did me
a big favor.

I met lots of
new friends tonight,

And I gave my old ones
a good laugh.

Well, ya-Hoo!

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

At last, I did
something worthwhile.

Bye, Fred.

Hoo hoo.

So long.

Let's go,
everyone.

We're invited
to the Flintstones

for coffee and cake.

Hooray
for the Flintstones,

The swingingest couple
of all.

Hooray! Yay!
Yay! Hooray!

Well, Wilma,

What do you have to say
about tonight?

Yabba-Dabba-Doo!

Quack quack.

Quack quack.

Quack quack!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Flintstones,
meet the Flintstones

They're the modern
stone age family

From the town
of Bedrock

They're a page
right out of history

Someday, maybe Fred

Will win the fight

Then that cat will stay out

For the night

When you're

With the Flintstones

Have a yabba-Dabba-Doo time

A dabba-Doo time

We'll have a gay old time

We'll have a gay old time

Wilma!
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