01x10 - Coleen in a Box

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Pivoting". Aired: January 9, 2022 to present.
Comedy about three middle-aged friends who decide to change the direction of their lives after a loss of a friend.
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01x10 - Coleen in a Box

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JODIE: Okay! Get your things.

- We're going!
- Um, can't we go tomorrow?

Rain in a graveyard? I
don't want to slip on a body.

Jodie, Col's not gonna
mind if we go tomorrow,

when it's sunny out, on
her actual birthday.

- Ah...
- She was born at midnight, on the cusp.

The least we could do is go to
the cemetery on her birthday.

Coleen's not at the cemetery.

She's in the kitchen.

- What?
- What?

I'll show you.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Wake up, Jodie.

- It's just a bad, bad dream.
- Well, he finally cracked.

- Wake up. Wake up.
- It's okay, honey. It's okay. Let's go.

What's happening?

- BRIAN: There she is.

Coleen's buried with condiments?



♪ Hey! ♪



I put her on the lazy
Susan because, you know,

she always loved merry-go-rounds.


No one else could pull
off fake marble like that.

- Henry?
- Hmm?

Did you dig her up?

Just because I have a backhoe
doesn't mean I dig up graves.


How are we just finding out about this?

I just...

wanted her to myself for a little bit

before you three started hogging her

like you did when she was around.

- I call dibs on tomorrow.
- Whoa! No!

- That's not fair!
- Okay, all right.

- Amy, no!
- Hurry! Grab her!

Brian, that lazy Susan,

I made that with a hollow wood fiber.

You cheaped out on
our Christmas present?

It's supposed to be for
spices, not a d*ad wife.

- Amy!
- You have never been a good sharer!

You are being so immature.
I'm not talking to you anymore.

Hold on. What's that, Coleen?

Okay, all right, fine.

Coleen said that we can all take her out

- for her birthday tomorrow.
- Aww!

No, actually, I had planned on,

uh, just kind of, like,
a special me and...

No, you are not.

Just like when she was alive.



What, did you fall in? We got to go.

JODIE: I'll be ready in a minute!

My earring's being stubborn!


[QUIETLY] I would be there if I could.

I have to go to this luncheon.

MATT: Yeah, I know.

You gotta be arm candy
for your jackass husband.

I'm sorry. That... that was outta line.

Uh, but I'm... I'm stressed out.

You know, the competition's
got me a little miffed.

I don't even know why he wants me there.

It's not like he even
pays attention to me.

Which is fine.

Yeah, well, um, I gotta go. I-I
think they're starting intros.

Okay. Good lu...


DAN: Jodie, should
you just meet me there?

Oh. You ready?

You look...


Yeah, you can just run a brush
through your hair in the car.

Let's go.

Yeah, I...

Oh! Ow.

I just got a really bad headache.

Oh, no, you should go without me.

You don't want me to stay?

And make you miss the Accountant
Association's Bi-Quarterly Luncheon?

It does sound kind of crazy
when you say it like that.

Okay. See you later?

Yeah, you're sure you're good, right?


Okay, guys, we just need
to run into the coffee shop

and grab my order.

I'm watching a live zoo cam

of a new baby panda being introduced.

This happens once or
twice in a lifetime!


... coffee.


Okay. All right. You
know what? You know what?

I'm gonna go in, I'm
gonna grab my coffee.

I'm gonna be able to
see you the whole time,

you're gonna be able to see me.

Right? We're gonna lock the doors.

You're gonna be fine.

Coleen, do not judge me, okay?

You've been gone a long time.
People leave kids in cars now.

Okay? It's... It's normalized.

All right.

I'm watching you!



- WOMAN: Someone help!

HUDDY: Ma'am?

♪ You can tell by the way
I use my walk, I'm a... ♪

♪ Ah, stayin' alive! ♪

- All right, clear.
- Stayin' alive!

I'm doing what the f*re
department told me to,

but I'm running out
of words that I know.

She's gonna be fine, everyone!


♪ Stayin' alive ♪

♪ Stayin' alive, stayin' alive ♪

- MAN: Come on! Move it!


[GASPING] I can't see them!


My babies!

- What?!
- MAN: Gimme a break!

- No, no, no, no, no.

Oh, come on!

Come on, mom strength.

- Okay!



Please, truck, don't drive.
Please, truck, don't drive.

[CLANG] Oh. Oh, God.

Oh, God. Come on.

- MAN: What're you guys doing?!

Okay. Coleen?

I know I've sinned as a mother,
but if you get me out of this,

I promise I will dedicate my
entire life to my children...

in the afternoons.

Oh! Oh!

Oh, my God! Thank you. That worked!



You're okay.

I was here the whole time.



Good work. Thank you.

Did you ever think I would
love them more than coffee?

My first question is, why was Billy Joel

driving through this dump of a town?

He's supposed to be a big sh*t.

You may be right.

- He may be crazy.
- Ha! Nice.

I can't believe I
rear-ended Billy Joel!

I'm obviously not
replacing my headlight.

I wouldn't.

How can I turn this into a friendship?

- Sir, I'm married.
- With Billy Joel.

Maybe you'll get lucky
and he'll sue you.

No, that's not gonna get me on his boat.

DISPATCHER: Unit , status.

I gotta get going,
but how 'bout I get him

to sign the ticket I'm gonna give you?

Yeah, that works.

Thank you.


- AMY: Hey.
- Hey, babe.

You're not gonna believe
what happened to me.

Henry. I love our kids.

Well, I'd hope so.

Listen, so I'm driving through the...

I don't want anything bad
to ever happen to them,

and I don't ever want them to be alone

or scared ever, ever, ever, ever.

That's great news.

Some other great
news is that I was driving...

Oh, God, hold on.

- I just got a text from Donna.
- Right.

"The ducking station manager is
coming in and wants to see you."

- Oh, God, I gotta go.
- I ran into Billy Joel!

- Love you.
- Oh!

You take care. Thank you.

Come again!

Are you all right?

Yeah, just, you know...

She's okay.

It was just a myocardial infarction,

possibly caused by an unstable angina.

You're... You're really a doctor.

I told you that in my interview.

Why would you give up being
a doctor to work... here?

Did... Did something happen?

- [WHISPERING] Did you k*ll somebody?
- N...

Oh, my God! Are you a Dirty John?

No! I just wanted to have a life.

I mean, like, today, I would've been

at the hospital, stuck there,

and I wouldn't be able to
go to my friend's birthday.

I think you're a Dirty John.


I need to go deal with
my best friend's muff.

- Sorry.







♪ It's all right, it's all right,
it's all right, it's all right ♪



Why would you go through all of
Coleen's stuff on her birthday?

Figured I'd double
down on the depression.

Plus, Lila's at my parents',

- so I can drink my way through it.
- Yeah.

Oh, would you like a whiskey in
a mug with Coleen's face on it?

You know, as great as that sounds,

I'm going out with her later,
so I'd like to be able to walk.

Okay, nerd.

First up.

Coleen's World's Best Mom T-shirt.

You know what? I am
gonna have just a sip.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

- Okay.
- Yeah, definitely.

Hey, the kids are
running around the set,

and I'm gonna give them a snack.

They're not allergic to nuts, are they?

No, I probably would've
heard about that.

I'm sure someone has
an EpiPen. But anyway.

The station manager's
gonna be here any second,

and you're covered in brown.

Oh, yeah, that... that'd be motor oil.

Okay. That's between
you and your husband.



Oh! Yes!

This is reversible, so you
could wear it either way.

There's a zebra print on the inside

if you want to get classy,
and then there's just

the regular pink if
you want to be fancy.

- Wow, such choices.
- Yeah, here you go.

Can you hold my friend?

Yeah. She is so light.

Is the whole woman in here?


I wanna be this light when I'm d*ad.

Wow. Wow.

All right, I'm gonna go
give your kids some nuts.

Hey, kids, get down! That's a real oven!

- Okay.
- Oh, Amy!

- There you are! Hi.
- Hi!

- Mwah!
- Whoa. Okay.

I was just gonna come find you.

L-Let's go in my office.

I come bearing good news.

Oh, oh, sorry. That is
my d*ad friend Coleen.

You remember Coleen, right?

Oh, yeah, rings a bell,
but I'm bad with names.

Okay. So get this.

"The Afternoon Wine Down"
show has been canceled.

Brad touched a lot of people.

Did he, really? With those small hands?

Since they've been canceled,

we're moving into their
spot in the afternoons.

Plus, your morning show.


So I'd be... I'd be
here in the afternoons?

Yeah, of course. I mean, it's all you.

It's a promotion! [CHUCKLES]

Okay. What's with the sad face?

It's just that, ever
since, you know, that,

I've been trying to be a
better mother, you know,

and spend more time with my kids.

Your kids will be fine.

Look, I never see my kids. They love it.

And, you know, it's not like
I can afford two producers,

so it's all or nothing.

You take it or leave it.

When you... when you get
drunk, do you get really hot?

I'm, like... I'm, like, sweating.

Yeah, you're wearing like
four of Col's sweaters.


I am!

Oh, hey, you know what
happened at work today?

A woman had a heart
att*ck, and I revived her.


It was the first doctor-y
I've done since I left.

Why did you stop being a doctor?

And, look, you can be...
you can be real with me here.

Like, did you... did you k*ll someone?

Why does everyone say that?


I dedicated my whole
life to medicine, and...

Then you k*lled someone.

... and I couldn't save Coleen.


Pay... Pay attention! [LAUGHS]

I'm trying to have a
serious moment with you.

Oh, yeah? Well, how do I look right now?

You know... You know, it
shouldn't work, but it does.


Huh. Huh, huh.

That looks nice.


I don't want you to
get a big head, but...

Lila and I would've been screwed
if you were still a doctor.

- Ah.
- In a way, you saved my ass.

And I know Coleen would appreciate it.

So thank you for...

k*lling someone? [CHUCKLES]

You're welcome.

You know, I had a crush on Coleen.

Oh, yeah.

Hey. I may be drunk, but...

you look like Coleen.

Oh, you are drunk,
'cause you look like Coleen.

She was so special.





Pretty girl.

Hey, I miss you.


What?! What are you doing here?

Oh, I'm so happy to see you.

I mean, when you got here,
it was like, it just...

it gave me that "unh,"
you know, that I needed!

It just... it put me right over the top.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I'm so proud of you.

[WHISPERING] I'm having an
affair with a kettlebell champion.

Slow down, all right?

- I just won my heat.
- Mm-hmm.

Hey, what happened to the
party with your husband?

I didn't go. I bailed.
I said I had a headache.

Well, winning this with you here is...

it's like a dream come true.

Hey, what is something that
you have always wanted to do?

I just... I want you to
feel as happy as I do.


This is the best day ever.

Couples skate.

♪ When I see you smile ♪

EMCEE: Keep it moving, kids!

No loitering in the center!

We're the couple I wanted
to be in high school.

♪ You know I can do anything ♪

- I wish we could do this every day.
- Me too.

♪ When I see you smile ♪

♪ See a ray of light ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪

When do you have to let her know?

Like, now.

I mean, Celia is not
a very patient woman.

She wants me to call her
tonight, but I'm gonna say

- I didn't get any cell service in the ER.
- The ER?

Yeah, you slipped in the
shower and broke your hip.

Oh, can we go with something else?

That makes me sound so old.

The hair would have to be up...

No, these shoes... these
shoes are ridiculous.

What am I doing?

I'd have to find another morning job.

I mean, what even is that?
A disc jockey or a farmer?

Henry, help me out. What do I do?

Well, you're a hot mess as a mother.

You've dealt dr*gs to Luke's teacher,

you told off a kid at a roller rink,

Julia started giving the
finger to strangers...

So, okay. It didn't work out.

I take the job. Done. Thank you.

- But...
- But what? What?

Hey, I like that on you.

Henry, I look like an ad executive.

- Oh, yeah.
- Okay, but what? What were you gonna say?

But in your own way,
you're a great mother,

and don't get mad at me for saying this,

but when you're with the kids,
I catch you smiling a lot.

Okay. I... [SCOFFS]

I smile?

Yeah, you do.

Er... All right, fine, yeah.

Okay, I... I... I shouldn't take it.

I do love being a mother.

I mean, it's terrible,
but it is rewarding.


I guess that's my priority now?

Yeah. Okay.

I'll apply... I'll apply to be a farmer.

- But...
- Oh, my God, you've gotta stop doing that.

What? What now?

This promotion is what
you've been working for

- ever since I've known you.
- Yeah.

I mean, you've already proven
to Coleen that you're a good mom.

Wasn't that why you started coming home?

Yeah, but, I mean, I...

I smile.



It's Shushan with a white
car. It's the Lyft pool.

One of the passengers
has to catch a flight.

Didn't you want to tell me
something about your car?

- Oh, yes!

God, Shushan, get off my jock!

What was it, now?

- It's fine. I can tell you later.
- Okay.

Can't believe you were gonna
let me go out like this.

I like it.


I'm taking this to my grave.

Yeah. Me too.

No one can ever know about this.


Amy and the Lyft pool won't be here

for another nine minutes.



What are you doing home so early?

They only validate
parking for two hours,

and the food wasn't worth staying.

W-where were you?

What happened to your headache?

I felt better, so I went food shopping.

Is that allowed?

Where are the bags?

They were out of everything.

Hurricane coming?

W-what's going on with you?

Uh, nothing.

Something's going on. I know you, Jodie.

Oh, you do? What's my favorite color?


... ish gray?

- Pink.
- Close.

- Orange.
- Okay, well...

Whose favorite color is
orange? I'm not being serious.

You don't even know
when I'm not serious!

Oh, yeah? Okay. What's
my favorite color?

Fern green.

Well, that was a lucky guess.

Just... [SIGHS]

W-what does any of this
have to do with anything?

Everything! You don't see me.

And I'm sad.

And I didn't even notice...

until Coleen d*ed.

And then...

And then it made me
wonder, "Is... Is this it?"

Is this how I'm going to
live the rest of my life?

Am... am I...

... "this"?

You are a lot of "this."

Oh, so what... so what are you saying?

You... you want to split?


Is that what we're talking about?


Sarah and Amy are here to pick me up.

No, no, no, wait, wait. Jo... Jodie?

We have family, we have a life together.

I know I haven't been great, but...

But you got to give me
a chance. Let me try.

You're my wife. I-I love you.


I'm sorry.

Um, Amy says that one of the passengers

in the rideshare has a flight to catch.


That's solid wood.

Nothing but the best for your wife.

Hey, a pitch... we
call it a lazy Coleen.

Yeah, I'll think about it.

I have a great story, man...

I had sex with Sarah.

Awesome. Sarah who?

Sarah Sarah.

Wow. That is some grade-A hot goss.

Do you need to... We
should do some booze.

Booze is what got me into this.

- I'll take a beer.
- Yeah.

You know, we were just
putting on Coleen's wigs,

and one thing led to another.


Amy and I have never
done wigs... together.

You can't tell anyone, not even Amy.

She never really listens
to me... at all... anyway.

And if she finds out I knew,
I'll just say I told her.

She takes a lot of pills.

Anyway, this story's incredible.

So, listen to who I ran into...

- Ugh!

I'm sad, and I need my best
friends... Brian and Henry!

What is Dan doing here?

That's Dan?

- Dan Dan?
- Yeah.

AMY: Ugh! Rough day.

SARAH: I... I'm not
really drinking anymore.

JODIE: It's not about us.

We're here for the birthday girl.

- One drink.
- All right, well, to Coleen.

- We love you.
- We miss you.

[TOGETHER] Happy birthday.

I'm sorry. What was that, Col?

Oh, you think we should do sh*ts?

- Oh, yeah!
- Like, lots and lots and lots of sh*ts.

- Whoo!
- Ah!

- Okay!
- Okay, ready?

Ready? Go!


Come on, guys.

What's a few days in a blackout, right?

Wait. So I just drop it in?

Bro, did you even go to college?

I commuted.

To my girl, Jode, for
not giving up on me.

Because life isn't worth living if...

I rear-ended Billy Joel!


This guy's life is in shambles.

Billy Joel, huh?


Wow, that's huge, dude!

Way to bury the lede!

- Geez, man!
- Thanks, Dan.

I mean, what a day.

This morning, I'm with Billy Joel.

Now I'm just, like, here with you guys.

- To B.J.
- And Coleen.

'Cause it's her birthday, and lord knows

- she was a Piano Man fan.
- Amen.

[TOGETHER] To B.J. and Coleen!


Jackpot. It got too hard.


You wanna see the signed ticket I got?

Uh, get it out, man.

Oh, that is so cool.

"To Henry, I love you just
the way you are, Billy Joel"?

I added that first part,
but the signature's real.

- Oh, that is amazing!
- You know what, man?

Maybe Dan really is the good guy.


Wait. What?

Eh... Well, I mean...


- Billy Joel!
- Billy Joel, man!

- Whoo!
- Hey, we need more sh*ts.

- More sh*ts.
- Ah!

- Okay.
- Okay.


- Oh!
- Whoa!



♪ Tick tock around the clock ♪

♪ I woke up spicy and never stopped ♪

♪ Tick tock, adrenaline ♪

♪ Got way too much,
yeah, I'm down to win ♪

♪ Tick tock, like energy ♪

- ♪ 'Cause sleeping is the enemy ♪
- Whoo!

- ♪ Time's up ♪
- Party people!


♪ Grab somebody sexy, tell 'em hey ♪

♪ Give me everything tonight ♪

♪ Give me everything tonight ♪


♪ Give me everything tonight ♪

♪ Excuse me, excuse me ♪

- ♪ I might drink a little more than I should tonight ♪
- Whoo!

♪ And I might take you home
with me if I could tonight ♪

♪ 'Cause we might not get tomorrow ♪

♪ Tonight ♪


Guys, I think we've got to get up.

It's... I think it's street cleaning.

What am I going to do about
my husband and my boyfriend?

What am I gonna do about
my career and my kids?

Guys, I did something
really stupid today.

- Hmm?
- Ohh?

I didn't drink enough. [LAUGHS]


Where's Coleen? Who's got her?

We love you.

- Oh, God.
- Oh, my God! We lost Coleen!

[TOGETHER] She's at the bar!

- Oh, my God!
- No, no, no, no, no!

- Go, go, go!
- Oh, geez!
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