04x06 - Daddy's Little Girl

[bunniefuu]

Morning, sweetie.

Are you ready to go to our
favorite breakfast place,

Nuttin' But Flapjacks?

It's the only good reason
to get up before noon, Daddy.

Why do you guys even like that place?

It truly is nothing but flapjacks.

You have to bring your own
butter and syrup.

Because it is our monthly
father/daughter tradition.

And we use the leftover
pancakes to make masks,

and scare people on the subway.

That's right. Arrgh!

You guys are the
pancake-faced monsters?

Hey guys, look what Max is wearing.

Take your jacket off and show 'em.

No, Mom.

Come on.
Isn't it bad enough

that I'm trapped inside
this little girl body

that doesn't even burp on command?

Max, I'm sorry Justin
turned you into a little girl.

You did this to me, too.

And let me tell you, it feels great

not being the only one in trouble for once.

I dug out my favorite
Alex-little-girl clothes,

and they fit perfectly.

Oh, come on, show them!

Ohh!

I remember Alex in this outfit.

You're even cuter than she was.

I don't see it.

Aww.

You're so little, with
the ooh, and the... aww!

She's just so huggable!

Wow, they really seem to miss

having a little girl in the house.

I'm the little girl in the house, OK?

My dad and I are about to go

on our father/daughter pancake breakfast.

Ho! Look at the
pouty face.

Mmm!

Come on, Max, let's go get some breakfast,

and have a man to boy-
trapped-in-a-little-girl talk.

Let's go.

But, Dad, what about our pancake breakfast?

We'll do it next month.

Alex, I think you're being
replaced as Daddy's little girl.

Please.
I am Daddy's little girl.

That is Daddy's little freak.

♪ Everything... ♪

♪ is not... ♪

♪ what it seems ♪

♪ Seems ♪

♪ Well, you know everything's gonna be a breeze ♪

♪ And the end will no doubt justify the means ♪

♪ You can fix any problem with the slightest of ease ♪

♪ Yes, please ♪

♪ But you might find out it'll go to your head ♪

♪ When you write a report on a book you never read ♪

♪ With the snap of your fingers you can make your bed ♪

♪ That's what I said ♪

♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ When you can get all you wanted in your wildest dreams ♪

♪ You might run into trouble if you go to extremes ♪

♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ♪

♪ Because everything is not ♪

♪ What it seems ♪

OK, Alex, check it out.

I found one of my old outfits for Max.

Harper, what are you doing?

He's cute enough already.

Do you think that' fit me though?

Well, look who just made herself

a peanut butter and jealous sandwich.

I'd be upset, but you know I
don't make my own sandwiches.

Hey, Max, it's your turn
to clean the fryer. Get on it.

Fine.
Oh.

Alex, he's just a little girl.

You do it.

Yeah, I'm a little girl.

I can't clean a fryer.

I probably can't do
a lot of things anymore.

Right, Daddy?
Oh...

He's doing to you exactly
what you used to do to me.

Hmm, looks like the little girl shoe

is on the other foot, and it fits well.

All right, Harper.

Let me go teach you how to clean the fryer.

Wait, why me?

Because I'm too busy being jealous.

See, Max? It's not so bad
being a little girl.

I got you out of your chores.

OK, what do you want to do next?

Well, I want to go to my karate class,

but I can't go down there
with these little hands.

I mean, they look like
they belong on a squirrel.

You can still go down.

Just tell them you're a new student.

Justin'll take you.

No, I can't, Dad.
That's a bad part of town.

Not a good idea.

Seriously, dude?

Come on, I'll hold your hand
if it makes you feel better.

Well, you don't need to
hold my hand, little miss,

because I have a panic button
on my keychain.

Hey Justin, what's up?

Who's this cute little girl?

What cute little girl?
Oh, that cute little girl.

Well, uh, this is our cousin...

From North Dakota.

She lives with us now.

Because her parents went on a long trip...

To South Dakota.

OK, I just wanted to know her name.

Max.
Ine.

Maxine is her name.

Maxine?! Come on,
that's such a girly name.

Yes, it is.
For a little girl.

We gotta go.

Maxine. That sounds
an awful lot like Max,

which makes me wonder
why he's not here right now.

Oh, for the love of truth and justice,

don't you and Harper have some
clogging shindig to go to?

It's called the Gaelic Clog
Dancing Exhibit and Luncheon.

D'uh!

Oh, my gosh, I was right?

And I don't want to miss
a minute of it. Come on.

Uh, Harper,

you have to make sure
that Zeke stays away from here

until we figure out how to
turn Maxine back into Max.

OK, but it's not gonna be easy.

He really loves hanging out here.
Watch.

Hey, what's taking so long?

The sooner we leave, the sooner we can

come back here and hang out!

Hello, meditating man.
Shh!

This is Maxine.

Shh!

She'd like to sign up
for one of your classes.

In my dojo, we do not sign up for class,

we become... the class.

Class?
There is no one here.

Regardless, can Maxine become the class?

Of course.

After she proves she is worthy.

Please take off your...
shoes.

It's a dojo, dude.

Don't call me "dude."

Whoo! You still
have Max's feet.

Thanks for noticing my foot stink.

I call it "fink."

My hours of meditation

prevent me from smelling
that... fink.

Now, remember, Maxine,

karate is not a way to fight,

but a means to find inner peace, as I have.

Please demonstrate where karate is in you.

Would you mind helping?

I, uh, I don't fight girls.

It's not something that I do.

If you and I were to throw down...

I know you got a black belt...

Whoa! Hey!

Yes! A little girl kicking butt?

Gotta love that!

Let's see what else you got.

Where is your inner peace, meditation man?!

And I call this last move,

"payback for
naming me Maxine."

Yes!

I don't know what's worse.
The fink or the pain.

Thanks for taking me to
the clogging festival, Zeke.

No problem.

Sorry you took that clog to the nog.

That's why they have that
yellow line around the dancers.

You shouldn't have stepped on it.

No, wait! Stop!

Yeah, you can't go in there.

Why not? We always hang out
at the sub shop.

Well, maybe we should try something new,

like hanging out at the produce stand.

Yeah.
Oh, no.

Mr. Chung doesn't like it
when I buy one grape at a time.

And why should I overeat?

Wait, stop!

It's closed.

Now it's closed.

No, no, no! Stop!
You really can't go in there.

Why not?

Because...
Because, um...

Mr. and Mrs. Russo hate you!

What?
They hate me?

Are you sure?

Aw, of course, you're sure!

Why would you say it if it wasn't true?

Wait, Zeke!
Come back!

It's family church camp all over again!

Alex, is that shirt

the lady bug skirt
you wore to kindergarten?

Oh, is it? Huh!

I just found it in my closet
and casually threw it on.

Mija, I know a lot of women

that dress too young for their age,

and it's... it's gross.

Wait a second.

You're making your father's
favorite sandwich, huh?

And wearing clothes
from when you were little.

Are you trying to get his attention?

No.

And I'd prove it, except I'm in a hurry.

Dad's not gonna love me more
if his sandwich is cold.

Hey, Daddy.
I made you a sandwich.

And, I put six meatballs in there.

Ohh! I'm impressed.

Mmm!

That is delicious!

Thank you, sweetie.
Mm-hmm.

Guess what happened at karate today, Dad.

I used my stinky feet to
rearrange Justin's face.

Smell his face.

Oh, there's nothing cuter than
a little girl kicking butt.

That's what the sensei said.
What is so cute about that?

I can't help it if people think I'm cute.

Watch how I make it work for me.

So...
Oh, thank you.

Daddy, do you want to take
me out for some ice cream?

Sure, I'm not doing anything.

But, Daddy, you didn't finish

this very delicious sandwich I made you.

I've lost my appetite.

It kind of smells like
Justin's face in here.

Come on, sweetie.

All right, that's it.

Max is replacing me as Daddy's little girl,

and I'm not gonna let him get away with it.

Dad didn't even care that that little girl

showed me parts of my body
I can only see with a mirror.

So... may I take your order?

Is Mom wearing one of
your skirts as a shirt?

Yeah, I don't know where
she got that idea from.

Zeke?

What are you doing here?

Oh, just making breakfast for the Russos

to get them to stop hating me.

Oh, good morning,
Mr. and Mrs. Russo!

Some breakfast?

Yes, enjoy.
Oh, um...

Thanks, Zeke.
It's, uh, a surprise.

Oh, look at that.

There's ketchup with
my potatoes. Fancy.

Oh, no, the ketchup's
mixed in with the eggs!

I am a failure!

Zeke, are you all right?

Of course I'm not all right!
You guys hate me.

Harper told me everything.

Harper, can we talk over here, please?

What is Zeke doing here?

You were supposed to
keep him away from Maxine.

I tried, but he wouldn't give up.

And I kind of panicked and
told him that you guys hate him.

Zeke...

listen.

There's been a misunderstanding.

Huh.

We do not hate you.

Of course, you hate me.
And I figured out why.

I'm a taker. I just come in
and take, take, take.

I need to be a giver.

Which is why I made you breakfast...

from food that
I took from you.

Dang it, aw!

Now, I hate me.

That's it.
I'm not gonna leave here

until I get you all to like me.

Oh. What's up, Zekester?

Max used to call me that.
Where is Max anyway?

We've got to get Maxine to karate practice.

Oh, ho, ho.
I get it.

The old "karate practice" excuse.

Come on, Harper, come with us.

Who knows what you'll tell Zeke next?

But I'm still in my pajamas.
Oh! What am I saying?

I wore a rack of lamb hat the other day.

Aw, this is worse than I thought!

I'm driving you away from your own home!

Oh, man!

Alex, there's nothing in
these books to change Max back.

What are you doing?
This fly is driving me crazy.

Just use the flyswatter spell.

What?! There is
a spell for that?

There's a spell for everything
except how to change

our little brother back into himself.

Fly swat now rot.

That was awesome!

Ew, there's fly guts.

Get it off me.

I don't know what to do, Alex.

There's nothing in any of these books

that says anything about
reversing what we did to Max.

Reverse? Well, then,
that's what we should do.

Do the spells, but in reverse.

I'll do the spell you did,
and you do the spell I did.

, I don't know.
Colliding spells can be unpredictable.

He could end up as
something gross, like a...

ogre.

I'm cool with that.

I am too, let's do it.

Zeke!
Hey, guys!

Just helping your parents out
with the laundry.

Hey Justin, these Captain
Jim Bob Sherwood boxers

look like they've seen their last mission.

I have been looking for those!

Alex...

If Zeke is here when Maxine gets home,

we won't be able to cast the spell on her.

Are you guys whispering about me?

No, no.

Oh, I get it. You guys
don't want me here, either.

You hate me, too!

I don't hate you.
We're buddies.

Oh, buddies?

I thought we were best friends.

Now we're downgraded to buddies?

That's it.

I'm not leaving here until
I get you all to like me.

Well, I'm not gonna like you
until you leave.

I'm at a crossroads here.

Wait, I know!

I'll win you guys over
with a song from my heart.

That's really not necessary.

♪ We were the best of friends
you and I ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ You miss me
I love you so much ♪

New plan.
We go to the dojo

and cast the spell on Maxine there.

♪ Why don't you
Why don't you ♪

♪ Love me anymore? ♪

Go, go!

Ho, ho, ho! Great
technique, Maxine. Good job.

OK, who's next?

Hmm?

You.

Oh, see, I'm not in the class.

These are just pajamas.

That look an awful lot
like a karate uniform.

You are the chosen one.

OK, just so we're clear,

the only reason I'm putting this on

is 'cause it matches my outfit, so...

Begin your journey.

No, no, wait!

Yeah!

That's Daddy's little girl!

I hope the sensei doesn't
mistake me for a young student.

Yeah.

There she is.

Shoes!

Actually, it's a sandal that
could be mistaken as a heel.

Come on!

What are you guys doing here?

We rushed over here because we think
we have a way to change you back.

Really? OK, let's do it.

'Cause Mom wants me to get
my ears pierced later,

and I'm starting to like the idea.

Hippety hop, let go of my top.

No, this can't be.
We made it worse.

Pigtails?

Lollipop!

You didn't change
me back, you made me cuter.

Get ready.

Because "Maxine" is gonna be
your cutest nightmare.

Ever.

Hi, Mommy! Hi, Daddy!

There she is.

Our little girl gets cuter by the minute!

The pigtails are adorable, honey!

Our next match is Maxine versus Lilly Bell.

Oh, no. I'd rather
tangle it up

with one of those guys.

I don't even have...
I don't fight girls.

You do now.

I got a butt concussion!

Someone should squash her like a bug.

A fly is a bug, right?

Yeah.
Got it.

Fly swat now rot.

Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat!

Swat! Swat! Swat! Swat!

Yes!

Yes!
Ladies and gentlemen,

that's a little something
I like to call ka-Ra-tay.

How can you do that to a little girl?

She is not a little girl!

I know she looks like a little girl, OK,

but she's not. Nope.

And...
And there are...

Whoo, you are upset.

Shoes on the mat!

Maxine, honey?
Are you OK?

She's still a little groggy.

Wait, hand me one of her shoes.

I'm good!

All right. She's OK,
everybody. She's OK!

I'm glad your little girl's OK.

Hey, Alex, can we talk?

Why? Maxine in bed already?

OK, look.

I'm sorry for getting
so caught up with Maxine.

It's just because she reminded me of you.

I'm sorry I got jealous.

It's just seeing Max as a little girl

makes me realize that I'm not anymore.

Hey, you're always gonna be
my little girl, sweetie.

Thanks, Daddy.

Look what I got.

Pancakes!

That's awesome!

Hey, guys, what's going on up here?

We're pancake-faced monsters!

We want syrup!

Zeke, the Russos told me

they have something they want to tell you.

Zeke, we did hate you.

I knew it.
Why are you doing this?

But you won us back.

You're back in, best friend.

Oh, man, yes!
I knew I could do it!

You know what won us over?

Your song.

You should sing it for Maxine.

No, I don't think so.

Well, think again.
It goes like this.

♪ You liked me ♪
Stop.

♪ I liked you ♪
Oh, my God. Stop! Stop!

♪ We were the best of friends ♪

♪ Best of friends, best of friends you and I ♪

♪ You and I and everybody together ♪