04x10 - Back To Max

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Wizards of Waverly Place". Aired: October 12, 2007 - January 6, 2012.*
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Alex and her two brothers Justin and Max come from a long line of wizards and must master their newly learned powers or lose them forever.
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04x10 - Back To Max

Post by bunniefuu »

Correct, correct, correct, correct,

correct, correct, correct, correct!

It sounds like we did pretty good.

Correct!

Not only did you all pass,

but you passed with
your highest test scores yet.

Yes!

This is incredible.

I'm actually making a difference
in all of your lives.

I'm gonna call Professor Crumbs right now,

and I'm gonna invite him down
here for the class evaluation.

Does this mean we can have a pizza party?

No pizza party, Nelvis.
Last time you had a pizza party,

you got your dirty pizza party
fingers all over the Abraca-Doodler.

Hello, Justin.

I've just been doing
my morning calisthenics.


Don't mind me if I continue
my reps as we talk.


Professor Crumbs, look.

I got an A minus on a test.

There's nothing special
about the minus part,

'cause I always get that,
but the A, that's new for me.

Oh, good for you, Alex.

I'll celebrate with
an invigorating toe touch.


Ow!

No worries.

My back does that on occasion.

Professor Crumbs,

I would like to invite you down
here for the class evaluation,

so you can see what great
progress that my class is making.

Professor Crumbs?

Yes.

I'm admiring my new shoelaces.

Professor Crumbs, after you see
how good we're doing,

maybe you can graduate everyone,

and I can get back
in the wizard competition.

Yeah!

But if you don't think
we're doing very good,

we'll just settle with putting
me back in the competition.

Oh, yeah, huh.

Return my spine back to align.

All right.

I'll stop by tomorrow.

Hey, Professor Crumbs.

Who is that
adorable little girl?


It's not Max, 'cause Max is a boy.

Professor Crumbs, your shoe is untied.

Ooh.

Where'd he go?

He'll know how to turn me back.

You missed him.
Too late, too bad.

Oh, well.

I'll just talk to him tomorrow
when he gets here.

We can't let Professor Crumbs know

that we accidentally crossed spells

and turned Max into a little girl.

You're right.

I'll just call him
and tell him he can't come.

Hello.

Professor Crumbs, about you coming,

our portal is being remodeled...

You have reached the visual
voicemail of Professor Crumbs.


Mailbox is full.

Beep.

He's still coming!
What are we gonna do?

I know.
Don't say it, Nelvis.

Pizza party!

I mean, it does kind of sound good.

♪ Everything... ♪

♪ is not... ♪

♪ What it seems ♪

Seems

♪ Well, you know everything's gonna be a breeze ♪

♪ And the end will no doubt justify the means ♪

♪ You can fix any problem with the slightest of ease ♪

♪ Yes, please ♪

♪ But you might find out it'll go to your head ♪

♪ When you write a report on a book you never read ♪

♪ With the snap of your fingers you can make your bed ♪

♪ That's what I said ♪

♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ When you can get all you wanted in your wildest dreams ♪

♪ You might run into trouble if you go to extremes ♪

♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ♪

♪ Because everything is not ♪

♪ What it seems ♪

Congrats on getting the solo performance

in the Spirit of America show, Harper.

Aw, thanks, Talia.

You know, sitting on a covered wagon

and singing songs about America

is something I've always dreamed of.

Really?
No.

I don't care where I am or what it's about,

as long as I have a solo
where the spotlight is on me.

Hey, Harper.

I saw you talking to Talia.

How do you know her?

We're in the school show together.

I need to get into that so I
can talk myself up to Talia.

That way when I turn back into Max,

she'll already be crushing on me.

Oh, well, I could talk you up to Talia.

I don't want her to think I know you.

So sorry, Mr. Laritate,
about the confusion.

We just thought we were supposed to
meet outside the detention hall,

like always.

Actually, Harper volunteered you

to help decorate for our
Spirit of America performance.

So sorry.
We're busy that day.

I didn't say which day it was.

We're busy on all days that end in Y.

It's tomorrow.
That doesn't end in a Y.

Ooh, he got us.

I should have said days
that end in "morrow."

Fine. If we have
no other choice,

we'll do it.

That's sort of the spirit.

Looks like there's hope for you Russos yet.

All right, guys, we can't let Maxine

anywhere near Professor Crumbs
when he gets here.

Otherwise, she's gonna
tell him that she's Max.

Hey, guys.
Is Professor Crumbs here yet?

Uh, you just missed him.

What do you mean?
He hasn't been here yet.

Will you help us out here?

Listen, I'm gonna be checking back in.

A lot.

OK, keeping Maxine from Crumbs is
gonna be harder than I thought.

But if you turned Maxine
back into Max, you'd be fine.

Nelvis, we've already tried that.

But we haven't.

And we've gotten really good at magic.

Maybe we can all pitch in and
figure out how to turn Max back.

Let me think about that.

We've tried to figure something out,

but we failed.
If they try,

they might figure something out.

What is he doing?

This is how he works things out.
Just give him a minute.

But in the end, if Max changes back,

then who cares who came up with the idea?

Nelvis, I love it!

Enough for a pizza party?
No!

OK, Russos.

I'll start you off with something easy.

I've been to your restaurant,

so I know you don't know
how to work a broom.

You're on streamer patrol.

Patrol?

So we just have to walk around
and look at streamers?

No, you have to hang them.

Aw, that's gonna be hard.

If you need any help figuring
out how to use tape,

I'll be over there.

Careful. It's sticky.

Really? Streamer patrol?

That man has no faith in us.

I know, it's perfect. We'll be
out of here in ten minutes.

No way. We can do something
better than streamers.

Come on, Jerry.
We'll show him.

No, Theresa,
we have a built-in excuse.

The tape.

It's sticky.

There's Talia.

You've got to get me into the show.

OK. I know I'm the star
of the show,

but I can't promise you anything.

Mr. Laritate,

I know I'm the star of the show,

and you don't owe me any favors,

but is there any space for Maxine

to join our performance?

I'm sorry, little lady

but all the stables
in this corral are full.

Please, Mr. Laritate.

I'm a good singer.
Listen.

♪ Home, home on the range ♪

♪ Where the deer
and the antelope play ♪

Well, wrangle me a bison
and brand it amazing.

How would you like to sing with Harper?

But Mr. Laritate,
that's my solo performance.

It's not a solo if someone
else is singing with me,

so no.

Ah, you're right.

Harper, you're out.

Maxine's our new soloist.

Thanks, Harper.
You're the best.

You're squeezing me
a little too tight, Harper.

Harper! Harper!

All right, guys.

Let's see what you came up
with to change Max back.

Ah, a "Be True to Yourself" fairy dust.

This is a good one.

An ogre skin scrub.
Can come in handy.

And a reversal smoke b*mb

that might make milk fly out of your nose.

Let me guess, that one was yours, Alex.

Well...
I want to get Max back,

but I also want to have some fun.

Hey, guys.
Is Professor Crumbs here yet?

I cannot wait for him to change me back.

You're not gonna need
Professor Crumbs anymore,

because we have a spell
to fix you right here.

Hello.

It's Professor Crumbs.
Anybody there?

He's here, he's here!

Professor Crumbs!
No, wait!

Which spell? Which spell?
Doesn't matter!

Why is the door latched?

Well, hello, everybody.

I brought taffy.

My gosh, did we cross spells again?!

What is wrong with us?

Huh. You're not
Professor Crumbs.

Well, thanks for the taffy, Beard Boy.

Well, this is odd.

I have become a young boy.

Then why do you still ha?

Oh, that's a family trait.
We all have beards.

Except for my mother.

She lost hers in
a sausage-making accident.

Uh, Professor Crumbs...

I bet you're wondering why we
would pull a prank like this.

Well...

Let this part of the "we" explain why.

Yes, we are.
I'm the "we."

I did this to, uh...
teach my students

that you, a master wizard,
can reverse any spell,

even a mutant crossed spell,

no matter how seemingly impossible.

It's true.

I can reverse this.

Yes!

It's a special potion.

A potion.
See, I told you.

You did not tell me.
Well, I thought it.

That doesn't...

So, why don't you tell us
what's in the potion.

Oh, why would I?

I haven't felt this good in over years!

Time to have some fun.

You...

Hey!

I haven't given a noogie since, well...

The inventor, Nathaniel
Noogie, gave me one.

Professor Crumbs, why don't
you tell us the potion

so that way one day we could use
it, should the need ever arise.

Which it hasn't.

Oh, forget the potion.

I want to live a youthful life.

You know the one thing that didn't
exist last time I was young?

The wheel?

Close.

I never got to skateboard.

I can run again!
My knees work!

Where'd he go?

I don't know.

Now that he's a kid, he moves fast.

We just can't let him run into Maxine.

If they talk to each other,

he might find out that we
turned Max into a girl.

We just need to trick him into giving us

the ingredients of the reversal potion.
There he is.

Professor Crumbs!

Oh, those dudes hooked me up.

Little Crumbs representin'!

They also taught me to say that.

OK, Little Crumbs.
Let's get on into the Sub Station.

Oh, not now, Justin.

Time to grind some rails.

Time for me to get
the potion recipe out of him.

You'll never be able to get it from him.

He's having way too much fun.

Oh, it's so cute.

You think I can't get something I want.

Professor Crumbs, drink this.

It's the potion to change you back.

You couldn't have possibly
gotten hyena tears that quickly.

The hyena tears were easy.

What about the dragon eyeballs?

Can't get those unless you know a guy.

Oh, right.
I left that out.

I'll just have to go talk to that guy.

By the way, I've used that
on you about times.

No, you haven't.

Then how did I know to take
the wallet from your backpack?

It's not in my backpack.
It's hidden in my sock drawer.

Listen, I bought a lot of
extra flags and bunting

to impress Mr. Laritate,

so let's make sure that he sees all of it.

Ah, Harper.

Little Jody Hahn is out sick.

How would you like to be
back in the big show?


I'd love to!

Great. You're a cactus.

You have no lines and you don't sing.

Like I said, I'm in.

How fast can you alter a cactus costume?

Alter?
I've got one.

Yes.

Ah.

Store-bought paper bunting
and plastic flags.

That's right.

Courtesy of the Russos.

You folks are really standing out.

Thank you.

As the lazy parents who
didn't make anything.

Unlike the Campaneros,

who built a replica cannon
with their hands.

Great. The Campaneros
built a cannon

and we bought plastic American flags

made in another country.

That's it, Jerry.
We gotta make something.

Yeah, yeah.

Rocky Campanero is not gonna outdo me.

He's got a cannon?

But we got two big bags of confetti.

And that says "homemade
grand finale" to me.

A confetti cannon finale

will blow Mr. Laritate away.

Yankee doodle dandy!

I'm doing it!
I'm riding a bike!

No, no, no, no, no.
U-turn, u-turn!

Hey!

Aren't you that bearded kid from
our lair with all the taffy?

Yes, I have some more.
Would you like some?

Yes, we would all like some
and now it's time to go inside.

Wait. Hi.

You have some crumbs in your beard.

I'm gonna call you...

Crumbs.

Huh! All my friends do.

OK, that's enough.

Maxine has, uh... gotta go
get ready for her big show.

Oh, big show?
I love the theater.

No better place to enjoy my taffy.

You should come, dude.

No, no, no, no.

I'd be honored to attend.

It sounds delightfully rad.

It's a school show.
It's not delightful or rad.

It's t*rture.
Come on.

You're gonna get inside and you're
gonna stuff your mouth with taffy.

You think this potion will work, Alex?

I think so,

although I wasn't really
sure about the portions,

so I just eyeballed the dragon eyeballs.

Professor Crumbs,
you have done a lot today.

OK? And you need
to stay hydrated,

otherwise you're gonna hit the wall.

Hit the wall.

Should I get my helmet?

No, but I have a smoothie

that's specifically tailored
to extreme sports.

And kids with beards.

Did you save some for Max?

Hey, don't hog it all.

You're not the only bearded kid
into extreme sports around here.

Max, drink this.
What is it?

Since when do you care what you drink?

Good point.

It didn't work.

Is it burp juice?

See? It works.

Crumbs, stop right there!

Hey, that's my nickname for him, Justin.

You find your own.

See you at the show, Beard Boy.

That's the little girl whose
performance I'm going to see.

Well, off to the big show.

Way to go, Alex.
He didn't change back.

You must have left
something out of the potion.

I know, OK?
I know what's missing.

What?
A little support here.

♪ O, beautiful
for spacious skies ♪

♪ For Amber waves of grain ♪

♪ For purple mountains
majesties ♪

♪ Above the fruited... ♪

Jumpin' Billy goats!

Why does that boy have a beard?

He's that famous American Uncle guy.

Uncle Sam?

Sure.

♪ America! America ♪

♪ God shed his grace on thee ♪

♪ And crown thy good
with brotherhood ♪

♪ From sea to shining sea! ♪

Thank you, Jackie,
for showing us all once again

that if we all work really hard,

we will never be as incredible as you.

Thank you, Mr. Laritate.

I hope I've worked off my detention now.

Oh, no!
What's happening to him?

He changed back!

The potion has a delayed reaction.

We did it! We changed
him back! Yay!

You both tricked me into
drinking the reversal potion?

Not yay.

Well, kudos for figuring out the potion.

Yay!

That means Maxine's gonna
change back any second now.

Next up is Maxine Russo

with Home on the Range.

Not yay.

♪ Oh, give me a home
where the Buffalo roam ♪

♪ And the deer
and the antelope play ♪

♪ Where seldom is heard ♪

We have to do something.

She's gonna change onstage
and everyone's gonna see.

See what?

Oh, is that taffy?

I dropped it.
Oh.

Oh, I'm stuck.

Shh, Maxine is singing.

Maxine is about to turn back into Max.

We gave him a potion.
Nice timing.

♪ Home, home on the range ♪

♪ Where the deer
and the antelope play ♪

♪ Where seldom is heard ♪

Why is Maxine starting to glow?

Looks like the grand finale's

gonna have to come a little early.

♪ And the skies are not cloudy all day ♪

♪ Home, home on the range ♪

♪ Where the deer and the antelope play... ♪

Sweet corn tamales!

A special effects salute
to the westward migration

and a buckaroo switcharoo!

The Russos are now on
the decorating committee

for every event!

What happened to my cute voice?

You turned back into Max.

I'm back?
All right, I'm back!

And so am I!

♪ Where seldom is heard
a discouraging word ♪

♪ And the skies are
not cloudy all day ♪

She's wonderful! Bravo!

Oh, Max, you're back!
Mom!

Oh, honey!
Good to see you, buddy.

We did it!
We changed you back.

Hey.
Hey, there he is!

All right, now I gotta go talk to Talia.

Wait, that's it?
We haven't seen you in so long.

Well, I've seen you guys.
Been here the whole time.

Talia.
Max.

That was the greatest surprise
entrance I've ever seen.

Your cousin Maxine was right about you.

You are cool and mysterious.

Did she also say I like long
afternoon walks in the park?

No.
I should've.

That sounded really good.

Do you wanna hang out Saturday?

Uh, yeah, yeah.
I'd love to.

Great, I'll see you then.

And don't bring your cousin Maxine.

I think she has a crush on you.

It's good to be back.

Return his spine back to align.

Thank you.

Oh, Max.

I haven't seen you in quite a while.

You know, Professor Crumbs, I've
been meaning to tell you something.

No, you don't.

You have Talia.
Everyone's happy for you.

Alex and Justin turned me
into a little girl.

They turned me into a little boy.

But they turned us both back again.

They're splendid
with magic. Yay!

I don't know what to say about that.

When you're a winner.

Go to dinner. Pizza the party.
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