04x18 - Justin's Back In

[bunniefuu]

And that's how a unicorn can help you roast mash mallow.

Well, class, that completes your
final delinquent course lesson.

Time to start the review.
Open to page one.

We gotta go over the whole thing?

Yeah, we do.
Professor Crumbs

is sending a teacher's assistant here

to take us to the Hall of
Wizards to help us review.

I hope it's not a pretty lady,

'cause all they want to do
is pinch my cheeks.

Wizzy! Wizzy! Wizzy!

Oy! Oy! Oy!

You are my people.

And you are still so cute.

See? Pretty lady.

Alex, you're no longer in this class.

We're waiting on a new teacher's
assistant from WizTech, so please leave.

I don't want you to be here all, "Hey, how's it goin'?
Cute shoes, by the way."

I mean, you are right about one thing.

Your new TA does have cute shoes.

No!

Ding, ding, ding, we have
a winner! I'm your new TA.!

♪ Everything... ♪

♪ is not... ♪

♪ What it seems ♪

♪ Seems ♪

♪ Well, you know everything's gonna be a breeze ♪

♪ And the end will no doubt justify the means ♪

♪ You can fix any problem with the slightest of ease ♪

♪ Yes, please ♪

♪ But you might find out it'll go to your head ♪

♪ When you write a report on a book you never read ♪

♪ With the snap of your fingers you can make your bed ♪

♪ That's what I said ♪

♪ Everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ When you can get all you wanted in your wildest dreams ♪

♪ You might run into trouble if you go to extremes ♪

♪ Because everything is not what it seems ♪

♪ Be careful not to mess with the balance of things ♪

♪ Because everything is not ♪

♪ What it seems ♪

Oh, hi, Harper.

Hi. Oh, hey, Alex.

Do you remember making this
in kindergarten?

Nope.

Exactly, 'cause you didn't.

I made it so the teacher
wouldn't know you ditched.

Oh, yeah, we got that system
down pretty early, didn't we?

Oh, yeah, we did.

Why would you keep all this stuff?

It's for my scrapbook
of childhood memories.

Now that we've graduated,
the last page with my diploma.

Oh, man!
That wasn't the last page.

There's one more page left.
What do I do?

Here. This is the cover
of the magazine you read

the day you finished your scrapbook.

Aw, thanks.

Hey, scrapbooks are a great idea.

Can't wait to look back
on the time I, uh...

I left the water
running in the bathtub.

Wait, that's right now.

Do we have scrapbooks for the kids?

Well, sort of.

I've got all their artwork and achievements

in those boxes in the hallway.

The ones that are labeled
"Alex," "Justin" and "Max."

Oh, I thought those were suggestion boxes.

I've been putting complaints in
there about the kids for years.

No wonder no one's changed.

So that's why Dad stopped
complaining to our faces.

Here are the kids' memory boxes.

And they're a lot lighter,

now that I've taken
the complaints out of 'em.

Look! Justin's "I learned
how to crawl" certificate

that he printed for himself.

How do you know he printed it?

Because, here's his "I learned how
to use a printer" certificate.

Oh, here's my award
for "Most Absences."

Oh! Honey, that's...
that's not an award,

that's an angry letter from a teacher.

Well, it says "Most",
so I'm calling it an award.

Uh-oh.
Max only has one thing.

It's a receipt for three boxes
at a $ . each.

You paid a $ .
for these?

What's wrong with a paper bag?

Well, I guess with each kid
I saved less stuff.

So, you didn't save any memories for Max?

Art projects?
They're so messy.

Grades?

Nobody wants to remember those.

His birth certificate?

You've seen him.
What more proof do you need?

I think Harper's right, Jerry.

We're horrible parents for not
saving any of Max's memories.

You know, if you want to be good parents,

you could start by
taking us to a real doctor

instead of posting symptoms on the Internet
and asking people what they think.

Well, what are we gonna do, Theresa?

I mean, it's not like we can
recreate all of Max's work

from over the years.

Or can we?

Ah, Hall of Wizards.
Now, take a look around.

This place is full of relics
that will help you review.

Yeah, but look at all this stuff in here.

We'll never be ready.
We're doomed!

Justin, we're fine.

That's why I'm here.

OK. Can anybody tell me
what this is?

Ooh, that's the famous
Waterfall of Wikkenberry.

Correct.

You can drink as much
of this water as you want,

and you never have to pee.

My mom makes me drink it
on long flying carpet trips.

Not bad, huh, Justin?

OK, yeah, but there's still
a lot of stuff in here to know.

Whoa, look, guys.

It's the famous "Wand
in the Crystal Ball."

This is the most powerful wand
in the Wizard World.

It once belonged to
the Great Wizard Renaldi

until a jealous warlock stole it,

and plunged it into this crystal ball.

Legend states it can only be removed
by a descendent of Renaldi.

Wow, Felix.
You really know your stuff.

Thanks, I like your stuff, too.

I mean... I don't know
what I mean, I'm sorry.

I'm not the descendent.

I'm still just the son of a wizard plumber.

'Cause you're so cute.

The legend also states that there are
no known descendents of Renaldi.

So there's no point in trying.

Hello, class.

Welcome to the Hall of Wizards
for your review.

Professor Crumbs.
Good to see you.

Question. Did you give
your beard a Brazilian blowout?

'Cause it looks silky and smooth.

It does, doesn't it?

This is Cragmont.

When the time comes,
he will administer the test

that will show how much
Wizard World knowledge

you have acquired.

Hmm.
Uh-huh.

Yes, well, I'm not only
the administrator of the test,

but I'm also the Wizard World historian.

How many of you know that the oldest relic

in this room is...

Well, actually, it's Crumbs.

It's true.

And I've dated some of
the relics in this room.

Hello, Ida.
Uh-huh.

Justin, you've done an extraordinary job

with these delinquents and I'm confident

that they will pass with flying colors.

Uh-huh. So,
you're Justin Russo.

Yes, well...

Professor Crumbs has told me
that you're extraordinary.

Yes, as a matter of fact,
it's extraordinary

how many times he's told me
you're extraordinary.

I have great hopes for you, Justin.

Someday your statue will be here

among the statues of the famous
members of the Wizard Council.

A statue?

Really?

I'd want to do something
a little more animated

than these ones though.
I'm thinking this.

Or, I got one of these, right here.

Well, any of those would be extraordinary.

Huh. I love the way he does
that "extraordinary."

That's good. Yeah, yeah.

Well, you may be extraordinary,

but, of course, the proof
is in the pudding.

Incidentally, after you take your test,

you get pudding.

Actually, I think
they're ready for the test.

Why don't you just give it to them now?

No, no, no.
They're actually not ready.

We need more time.

Justin, they know everything.

The sooner they get back into WizTech,

the sooner you get bk in the competition.

Well, maybe, but are you just saying
that because you want pudding?

Yes, I want pudding, I always want pudding,

but no, seriously, they're ready.

Stop it!
Stop it, stop it!

With the "I want, I don't want"...

Are you going to take the test, yes or no?

I have pudding to make.

Uh...

Yes. Say yes.

Yes.
Ah, good.

Let's go before
Mr. Extraordinary here

changes his mind.
Now, you four,

sit in the chairs there.

All right, and then, uh...
What we're going to do is,

we're gonna take these
hairstyling machines,

and then we're going to scan their brains,

then we'll know what they know.

I hope they're ready to take this test.

Of course they're ready.

Look, all the lights are blinking,

that must mean they know a lot of stuff.

Well, uh, uh...

That completes our totally
unnecessary light show.

So, uh, let's get on with the test.

OK, so far we've got.

Max's third grade citizenship award,

his fifth grade Eskimo diorama,

and a spelling test from second grade,

where he spelled his name mostly right.

Hey.

What's going on?

Uh... Max,
you're home early.

We, uh... we can
explain everything.

I hope so, Dad.

'Cause if Harper's having
a fun arts and crafts class

you should have invited me.

Well, yeah, I mean...
Mr. and Mrs. Russo.

I told you to invite Max.
You must've forgotten.

Oh, that's right.
Oh, it's...

But it's not too late for Max
to join us, is it, Harper?

No, no. Not at all!
Come on, Max.

Let's build an ice cream-stick
house together.

Oh, you mean like I
used to do at summer camp?

Exactly!
Yes!

Did he go to summer camp?

Oh. Must've been
that summer

we thought he slept for a week.

I'm thinking I need to take
a test every Saturday night.

My hair's never had
so much volume and shine.

Now I have a good place to keep my wand.

I'm sorry I was so nervous
about you guys taking the test,

but I think it went well.

I feel good about it.
Or do I?

Yes, you do.
Right.

Ah, Professor Crumbs.

There you are.
Lay the good news on us.

The class failed miserably.

Yay! Wait, what?

Professor Crumbs, that's impossible.

Are you sure?

Wait, wait.
I reviewed with them.

They knew everything.

They couldn't have all failed.

There has to be something wrong
with the brain scanners.

Not possible.
Just look at their hair.

Such great volume and shine.

I knew they weren't ready.

I'm sorry.

The delinquents will not be
readmitted back to WizTech.

And you are still ineligible

for your family's wizard competition.

It's a shame, Justin.

You're not as extraordinary as I thought.

Professor Crumbs!

I'm so sorry, Justin.

I really thought they were gonna pass.

We're sorry, Mr. Justin.

Don't apologize, Felix.

I know what happened.

Alex. You pushed the class
to be evaluated

before they were ready so you could be sure

that I wouldn't get back
into the wizard competition.

What?

You can't possibly be
blaming me for them failing.

Would you cut the act?
You got what you wanted.

No, this doesn't make any sense.

I can understand if one or two failed,

no offense back row.

But everyone?

What's it matter?
You ruined it, Alex.

Just get outta here.

Fine.

But I'm gonna figure out what happened.

Hello?

Cragmont?

Anybody there?

I had to try.

Hello?

OK, if I were test results,
where would I be?

Oh, wait, what am I doing?
There's no one here.

OK, here it is.

"Russo class test results."

Oh, my gosh!
I knew it!

You've reached the wandmail

of Justin Vincenzo Pepe Russo!

Please leave a message
after the beep.

Justin, it's me.

I found the delinquents' test results.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa!

What are you doing with those, huh?!

Give me back my wand!
Huh?

What are you up to, Cragmont?

This says that they passed
but you reported to Crumbs

they failed. I think that
you've made a mistake.

Mistake? Oh, no.
No, no, no, no. No.

On purpose. Yes.

The only mistake I made around here

was waiting for that Professor Crumbs

to make me a member of the Wizard Council.

That's the only mistake.
Uh-huh.

What does this have to do
with Justin's class?

Justin. Oh. I'm tired of
hearing about Justin,

and all those other
"extraordinary" young wizards.

They're getting all the praise
from Professor Crumbs

that should be going to me, me, me.

Oh, I wish there were an echo in here.

That would have been really
dramatic, wouldn't it?

All right. That was a little kooky,
so I'm just gonna get outta here.

H Russo!

Hey, what are you doing?
Let me out of here.

Never!

Told you it would be more
dramatic with an echo, didn't I?

Make a note of that.

Thanks for helping us with all this.

I think it's going pretty well.

Yeah. Now we just
need him to believe

he made all this stuff when he was a kid.

Guys, check it out.
Hand turkey!

Oh! Very good!

Max, that looks exactly like the one

you made in second grade.

I know. Except my hand
was a little smaller.

Um, actually, it wasn't.

See, all the Russo boys

were born with full-size hands.

Yeah. Some people are
born with big heads.

But Russos are born with big hands.

Really?

Yes!
Your teachers,

they used to call you
"Big Hand Max."

Oh, right.
Now I remember.

OK, Big Hand Max.

Yeah, that's probably why I was
so good at peek-a-boo, huh?

Peek-a-boo!

Peek-a-boo!

I got ya, I got ya!

We're gonna be just fine.

Yeah.

We're sorry we let you down,
Mr. Justin.

No, no, no.
I let you guys down.

You're right.
You let us down.

That's enough out of you, Nelvis.

Wand message.

It's from Alex.

Justin, it's me.

I found the delinquents'
test results.

What are you doing with those?!

Give me back my wand!

That sounded like she was with Cragmont.

I think she's in trouble.
We gotta help her.

Whoa, wh, whoa!
Help her?

Have you forgotten how
she let us down last time?

Mr. Justin,
she is still your sister.

And she's pretty and she talks to me.

I don't care, I'm not helping her.

Yes, you are.

Felix!
Felix, put me down!

You put me down, Felix!
Right now! That's an order!

Felix!
Felix, put me down!

Justin!

Oh, there you are.

Where? Where is she?
Turn me around.

Alex! How did you
get in there?

Felix, put him down.
Whoa.

Cragmont put me in here when
I found the test results.

All the delinquents passed!

What?!

She said they all passed.

Then why did you tell Professor
Crumbs they all failed?

Surprise!
I'm evil. Ha, ha!

I may not look it, but boy,
you get me steamed

I'm pretty evil.
Come on, come on.

You need to let Alex out of there,

and tell Professor Crumbs that
all of my delinquents passed.

Or else.

Or else what?

People don't usually ask me that.

Uh-huh.

Well, Professor Crumbs said that one day

you'd end up in the museum as a statue,

and I guess today is that day.

So, rock, rock 'till you drop.

Guys, guys!
I can't move, help me!

Let's stop the spell!

That's gonna be difficult
without your wands.

Justin's turning into stone!

Well, who's next to join the
Hall of Wizards as a statue?

Well, how about you, little fella?

You'd look awfully good on my lawn.

I still see you.

Somebody do something!

Oh, boy.
This is not good.

Felix, it's you.

What are you waiting for?
Use that thing!

Felix, you did it!
Nice wand work!

Thunder has rung throughout
the Wizard World.

Who removed the wand from the crystal ball?

It was Felix.

So...

You're the long lost descendant
of the Great Wizard Renaldi.

Check it out.

Professor Crumbs bowed to me.

This is so awesome!

Oh, great.

Another guy to call extraordinary.

Oh, boy.

Professor Crumbs, Cragmont lied

about them failing their final evaluations.

My class passed, Professor Crumbs.

I see.
I was hoping Cragmont

would rise above his resentment,

but it seems it cannot be.

Perhaps it's time for a change.

Oh, come on.
For crying out loud, Crumbs.

Lighten up a little bit, huh?

Let's admit it, g*ng.

We had a little bit
of fun here today, didn't we?

Let's call it a day.
I'll see ya.

Cragmont!

You're not going anywhere.

You're staying here
where you can be useful,

as a wizard history book.

Ouch!

Congratulations, Justin Russo.

You have successfully guided your
young group back to WizTech.

Oh, man!
Thank you, Mr. Justin.

I mean, you changed our lives forever.
Especially mine.

I mean, now that I know I'm a Renaldi,

I should have no trouble getting girls.

Oh, Felix.

And for your excellent teaching,
I am proud to announce

that you are officially back in
your family wizard competition.

Well, uh...
Thank you for the help.

I probably couldn't have
gotten back in without you.

Well, the competition wouldn't
be any fun without you.

In that case, are you ready to lose?

Oh, bring it on.

I guess this is it,
Mr. Justin.

How about we carry you out,
for old time's sake, huh?

That does not sound fun in the slightest...

Whoa! Come on!
Too late.

Wizzy! Wizzy! Wizzy!

Oy! Oy! Oy!

Hey, kids.
Congratulations on all of you

getting back into the wizard competition.

We have gifts for you.

We made scrapbooks

to celebrate your childhood memories.

Aww.

Everything that you've
ever yelled at me about

in one convenient book.
I'm so touched.

Hey, look.

It's a picture of me with poison ivy,

and the online comments of all the
strangers who misdiagnosed me.

Aww, I love this scrapbook of
all the things we did today.

You knew?

Well, since today was a complete waste,

I'm just gonna take this cereal
necklace for my scrapbook.

Max, you knew we were trying

to recreate your memories from childhood?

Well, I didn't know at first,

but after you guys made up
that whole "Big Hand Max" story,

it became pretty clear.

I thought it was really nice of you guys.

So, you're not mad that we didn't
save any of your memories?

How could I be mad?

I saved everything on the
top bunk of my bed. Look.

You guys didn't know?

I've got everything from my
first Little League trophy,

to a collection of hair
from all my haircuts.

Spaceship piñata filled with my baby teeth.

Why in the world would you save that?

Because, they're all my favorite memories.

Why do you have a jar full of water

with a carrot and coal?

That's my first snowman.

Now that is a good memory.

Wow, Max.

You're raising us to be
pretty good parents.