06x19 - Jack's 10

[bunniefuu]

[man] ♪ Come and
knock on our door ♪

[woman] ♪ Come and
knock on our door ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

[both] ♪ Where the kisses
are hers and hers and his ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪

♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪

♪ We've a loveable space
that needs your face ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ You'll see that life is a ball
again Laughter is calling for you ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

Hi. Are you alone?

I certainly am!

Good. Then you won't
be needing this chair.

Jack. Am I glad to see you.

Sorry, Larry, I'm broke.

I don't want anything
from you, Jack.

I'm giving.

What are you giving me, Larry?

My blind date! She'll
be here any minute,

you lucky dog!

Funny you should
mention "date" and

"dog" in the same
breath. Excuse me.

Listen, Jack. Her family is
loaded. And my Aunt Harriet

says she's beautiful, and
smart, and a bundle of laughs.

If she's so great, why
aren't you going out with her?

Because! I have another date!

With Peaches.

Peaches? You mean...
"Cling" Peaches?

Yes, sir! So you see my problem.

But why come to me?

Because, everybody
else said, "no".

Oh, great. So I
get stuck with her.

I knew you'd understand.

You know, Larry... Thanks
a lot, pal. I appreciate it.

Listen. Her name
is Denise. Denise.

Yeah. I told her
I'd be sitting on the

first booth on the
right. You won't

regret this, pal. I promise.
I hope you're right.

I am. Besides, what's
one wasted evening?

Larry...

Give me another
beer, please. Thanks.

Excuse me.

You don't need any excuse.

Larry?

You just missed him.

Wait. You can't be Denise?

Why can't I?

Because I don't
have that kind of luck.

Hi. My name's Jack Tripper.
Larry asked me to meet you.

Won't you sit down over here?

See, uh, Larry came down
with something at the last minute.

Some kind of bug
that's going around.

You mean he got a better offer.

He couldn't have.

Come on!

No, I mean it. You're
very, very pretty.

Please.

I'm sorry. I didn't
mean to embarrass you.

Oh, no, I didn't mean
please stop, I meant

please go on.

Oh, thanks.

What do you like to drink?

Champagne.

But I'll have a beer. Bless you.

So, Denise, what do you do?

On the first date? Nothing.

I meant, for a living.

Oh, I'm an interior decorator.

I can believe that. You've
improved this place already.

So, you tell me about you.

Ah, well... there's
not much to tell.

I'm just your average
guy who's warm, loving,

sincere, intelligent,
compassionate and

tremendously fearless.

You left out humble.

I don't like to boast.

Listen, how come a
beautiful girl like yourself

goes out on blind dates?

Well, this is my first one.

I didn't know what
I was missing.

Can I... Excuse me.

Thank you.

What are you doing
tomorrow night?

I have a date. Oh.

With you.

Terri?

Huh? Terri, uh, what
do you think we should

serve to Denise? Pie or cake?

Uh... the cake. You
don't like the pie?

Serve the pie. What's
the matter with the cake?

Serve them both.

Ah! You are no
help to me at all.

Janet, Janet. What are
you so nervous about?

What do you mean, what
am I so nervous about?

Jack is bringing a girl here.

So what? So what! Terri, how can

you say "so what" about a girl
Jack has been seeing every night for

a week? A girl he
can't stop talking about!

Janet. You know what
you sound like? What?

His mother.

Don't be ridiculous.

It's just that... Well, dear.

Jack has got his
whole life in front of him.

I mean, he could
ruin it by taking

up with the wrong kind of girl.

Tell him he's grounded.

Okay, I'll te... Smarty.

I don't see how you can be
so calm about the whole thing.

Because I don't see any
reason to be so nervous.

[Jack] It's right
up here, Denise.

Uhh... how do I look? Do I look all right?
Is my face on fine? Is my hair okay...

I thought there wasn't
anything to be nervous about.

Come on. Let's
try to look casual.

Right. Right.

Well... here she is.

Hello, I'm Denise.

Oh, don't tell me.
You must be Janet.

You're even prettier
than Jack said.

[gasps] Well, thanks.

And of course, you're Terri.

A nurse. What a wonderful thing

you're doing with your life.

Why, thank you. And
you're just as wonderful

as Jack said you were!

Isn't this wonderful?

Here we all are. Why
don't we sit down.

Good idea. Thank you.

Look at this. Thank you so much.

Let's sit here, girls.

[screams]

Just an accident.
A silly accident.

Oh, dear!

Well! Uh, how 'bout
something to eat?

Some pie or cake?

Umm... both.

I like her.

Isn't she wonderful?

So! Jack tells us you're
an interior decorator.

Yes, and I love it.
You get to spend the

whole day shopping and
someone else pays the bills.

[squealing laughter]

Cheer up, Jack! I like
her, Jack! I like her!

You like each other?
I knew you would.

Listen. Excuse
me. You kids talk,

I gotta go get dressed.

Isn't he just a big kid?

Oh, isn't he? But don't
worry, I'm working on it.

Oh?

Well, I think there comes
a time when a man should

grow up and behave
like a responsible adult.

Don't you agree?

Well, I suppose, but
he's awfully cute, isn't he?

Yes, but you can't go
through life being cute.

Don't tell that to
Donny and Marie.

Let's go, Denise, I don't
wanna miss that Bogart film.

Film... Oh, Jack, I forgot.
Daddy made reservations

at the Rossfield Country Club.

Oh. Okay.

Rossfield Country Club, huh?

I better put on a jacket.

And a tie!

Why, who d*ed?

Silly Jack.

He's gonna take more
work than I thought.

Uh, my, Denise, uh,
Jack meeting your

father. That sure
sounds serious.

Could be. I really like Jack.
He could amount to something.

With the proper guidance.

Denise? Is this okay?

Much better!

Sorry, girls, we're late. Gotta
run. It was really nice meeting you.

Bye!

Bye! It was very
ni... Nice meeting...

[Jack singing] Denise...
Denise! Dewonderful... Denise!

Are you listening to that?

Do I have a choice?

Day after day: [mocking Jack]
"Denise, Denise. Dewonderful Denise".

Terri, he's not even
dependable anymore.

Jack was supposed to take
me out to lunch yesterday.

All of a sudden, the
phone rings. It's Denise.

She's got an emergency.
She wants Jack to come over

and out he goes!

Well, if it was urgent...
Urgent, my eye.

It was nothing.

She's got this little
dog. A basset hound.

She wanted Jack to come
over there and take it for a walk.

I hope that little
basset appreciated it.

Well, I guess that's love.
We'll just have to live with it.

I'll try, I promise. But I tell ya...
if I have to hear one more time,

[together] "Isn't
she wonderful?"

I think I'm gonna scream.

Well, what do you think?

You look like a dish of spumoni.

Thanks, pumpkin.

Denise put this whole
thing together for me.

She has so much
courage with color.

Courage? You're the
one that has to wear it.

She's made a new man
out of me. I'm telling you.

Isn't she wonderful?

[shrieks]

Janet, you okay?

Uh-huh, yeah, I-I
stubbed my toe.

What are you doing
with those jeans?

I'm giving them away.
I've outgrown them.

Denise doesn't like
jeans, does she?

Well, she says they're
unimaginative and boring.

And I can't argue.

Unimaginative.

[singing] Boring!
[doorbell chimes]

I'll get it.

Denise.

Mm... Mm... Yo! Hey, guys!

Yoo hoo!

Oh, hi! I'm sorry,
I didn't see you.

Love your jeans!

Jack, I've got great news!

Do you remember
how we talked about not

making any long-range
plans until you got

established in your career?

And you understood!

Isn't she wonderful?

Jack, I've got one word for you:

Cardboard.

What a word! Cardboard! Isn't...

Wha-What about it?

That's my father's business,
remember? Oh, right.

He says there's a place for you.

Manufacturing cardboard boxes?

Gee, Denise, I'm a chef.

Father doesn't mind.

What a sport!

I don't know
anything about boxes.

Except that they're so square.

Jack, I'm only trying to help.

I don't want you
to work those long

hours that chefs do.
You'll be an executive.

You'll have your own
office, an expense

account, we'll travel...

I-I, well, I don't
like to interrupt.

Or to interfere.

But somehow I can't see
Jack making cardboard boxes.

Well, not right away.
But he'll get the hang of it.

At least it's worth considering.

Consider it, Jack.

Then we can get married
like we talked about.

Married? You talked marriage?

Well, Denise brought it up and I

didn't want to interrupt her.

Jack, you do want to
get married, don't you?

Well, not today.

Not today! Silly Jack.

We can be married
in three weeks.

[high pitch] Three weeks...

[low pitch] Three weeks,
three... three weeks?

Well I know it seems
like forever, but

there's so many
things to be done.

Well, you don't
mind waiting, do you?

Oh, no, no. I'd rather wait.

Good. Then we're engaged.

Well. How do you like that?

I'm engaged.

So, am I.

Well, look at them, darling.
They're so happy they're speechless.

Aren't you going
to wish us luck?

Yes! Yes! Right!

Lots of luck. Oh, tons of it.

Congratulations. I'm sure that

you'll be very happy, Jack.

You too.

Well, of course we'll be happy.

I'm getting a wonderful husband,

and Jack's getting what
every man dreams of.

A brilliant future.
A career. Security.

Yeah. That's
right. That is right.

Jack, we're gonna have
such a big, beautiful wedding.

Oh, Denise, does it
have to be a big wedding?

I'll take care of the wedding.

You just take care
of the honeymoon.

Oh. Okay.

You know, this might
sound old-fashioned,

but I've always wanted
to go to Niagara Falls.

I was thinking Hawaii.

What a great idea!

There's... water there, too.

Hawaii. Because it's an island.

You know, it's surrounded by...

Listen, I wanna go freshen
up. I'll just be a minute.

Isn't she w... Ahh!
Please don't say it.

What?

Uh, Jack, I think before
you get married, we should

have a little talk.
[doorbell chimes]

Don't worry, Terri. My
father gave me that little talk

before I went into the
Navy. So, I don't... [laughs]

Good God.

Larry.

I better get my sunglasses.

I got great news, Lar.

I'm getting married.

Why?

Why? What do you mean, "why"?

Because I'm in love.

You gotta have a
better reason than that.

Come off it, Larry.
Haven't you ever

thought of getting married?

Yeah, but the rabbit got better.

Larry... you know...

Larry. Uh, Terri and I need to

talk to you out in the kitchen.

What for?

Um, we... need to plan
for Jack's bachelor party.

Why can't I listen?

Uh, why? uh, because
it's a, uh, surprise!

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Jack's really getting
married? Yeah.

And that's not the worst part.

Of course it is.

Who's the girl? Denise!

Denise?

Larry, she talked Jack
out of being a chef.

And into making cardboard boxes.

Now you've got to help him.

I don't know anything
about making boxes.

Larry, come on!

Look. Denise is trying to make
something out of Jack that he isn't,

and he doesn't even see it!
She's gonna ruin his whole life!

Now, Larry, you've
got to talk him out of it!

Why can't you girls?

Because...

We're not as good at
that sort of thing as you.

I mean, Larry, you've
got the mind for it.

Tricky, devious,
underhanded... Thank you.

Will you do it, Larry?

Well, if you have that much
faith in me, how can I say no?

Follow me.

But please! Hold the applause.

Jacko! Oh, Larry.
I'd like you to meet...

You don't have to tell me.

This must be Denise.

Larry. How nice
to meet you finally.

Yes. My loss! But
it all worked out

for the best. Did it
not? Congratulations.

Thanks, pal.

I hear you're going
to be a regular at

Jack-in-the-Boxes.

Ahh... I can see you right
now with your trusty little stamp.

Ch-ch, Use No Hooks. Ch-ch,
Do Not Crush. Ch-ch, This End Up.

What a challenge.

But you don't have to give
up cooking altogether. I mean,

when you're at the factory you
could always make "box lunches".

Hey, Larry, why
don't you just cool it.

Jack, where's your sense
of humor? I think he's funny.

You do?

Larry. I want you to know
you are very dear to us. I am?

If it hadn't been for you, we'd
never have ever met. Well, that's...

I want you to think of our house as
your home. You're always welcome.

Our house? We'll be
living with my parents.

I want you to feel free to
drop by, use the horses,

the pool, the Cabin Cruiser...

Cabin cruiser?

It sleeps six. Six?

What are you doing this weekend?

Tah... ahh... Well, I...

I'd like you to meet
our houseguest.

I think you'll love her. I will?

Well, you know the
movie Ocean View? Yeah?

She was the girl on the beach.

[gasps] You mean the one
with those Great... Danes?

I think the two of you
will get along beautifully.

I will be there!

[both] Larry!

Oh. Sorry.

My blessings to you both.

Wait! Uh...

♪ Aloha oe... aloha oe. ♪

[loudly] Alo... ha!

My precious little wahines!

Well, you certainly sound happy.

You're darn right. I pick up
my marriage license today.

Today?

Yeah, just as soon
as Denise gets here.

Girls, just think. In
6 days, 12 hours and

36 minutes, I will be
on my honeymoon.

Jack, have you thought
about what you'll be doing?

Ohh, yeah.

She means afterwards.

More of the same, I hope.

Jack! I'm talking
about your life.

Yeah, you're starting a
whole new career, Jack.

A whole new way of life.

Well, I... owe it all to Denise.

Isn't she wonderful?

[groaning]

Janet, you oughtta
take something for that.

Coochy coochy! I'm
going to go get dressed.

See you later!

♪ Aloha oe... ♪

I guess he didn't get the point.

He's so far gone he wouldn't
get the point if he sat on it.

Okay. Time to stop being subtle,
Terri. We're running out of time.

You're right. No more
b*ating around the bush.

We can't let him marry Denise.

Right. We have to go
in there and tell him he's

making a terrible
mistake. Right.

Okay. Come on. Okay. Let's go.

Are you ready? I'm ready.

Let's go.

Oh, God!

Janet! What's
wrong with you? Terri!

I'm getting dressed! Te... Uh.

It's all wrong!

I always dress like this.
First I put on socks...

Whoa! No.

I mean this wedding.

You're marrying the wrong girl.

What?

Oh, Jack. She
isn't right for you.

Janet. How...

Janet, I really never
expected this of you.

Expected what?

You're jealous.

Who is? Of what?

Janet, I'm getting
married and you're

not, so naturally...

Oh, Jack Tripper! Let
me tell you something!

[doorbell rings]

Oh, hi, Denise. Hi.

Is Jack here? He's in
the bedroom with Janet.

I wouldn't go in
there if I were you.

[Jack] Give me my pants!

[Janet] I'm not finished yet!

[Jack] Come on! Denise
will be here any minute!

[Janet] Well, she can
have you when I'm through!

Janet, will you please drop it?

Give me back my pants!

Oh, okay!

But I'll tell you
something, Jack Tripper.

You have definitely
disappointed me.

Hello, Denise.

Denise, I didn't
know you were here.

I guess not.

She heard you in the bedroom.

Oh. Janet had a little
problem, but it was

nothing important.

Jack, If you and Janet have a

thing going...
What? Me and Jack?

We don't have a "thing going".

It's all right. What
you do before we're

married is none of my affair.

Wait, I told you.
There's nothing going on.

Jack. You don't have to lie.

Lie?

I think we better
leave. Not a chance.

Wait a minute. You
think I would honestly

fool around a week before
we're supposed to be married?

What kind of a person
do you think I am?

Forget it. It doesn't matter.

It matters to me!

And it will matter to
me after we're married.

Believe me, I'll keep
you on a short leash.

You'll what?

Now we better
leave. Not a chance.

Until then, you and your
two little playmates will have

to be a little more discreet.

I can't believe
you just said that.

You think that they and I...

Jack, it's not important.

Let's just forget
the whole thing.

What a great idea.

Good. Now. About the wedding...

No, I mean forget everything,
including the wedding.

You can't mean that!

Would I lie to you?

Jack, I don't think you
realize what's involved here.

I don't even know
if Daddy can get

his deposit back
from the caterer.

Goodbye, Denise.

Goodbye.

[both yelling] Goodbye, Denise!

I hate your jeans.

Somehow I think
she'll get over it.

How about you, Jack? You okay?

Yeah, I'll be all right.

Hey, Jack. You
did the right thing.

I know. Oh, she
was so wrong for you.

You girls knew that right
from the start, didn't you?

Yeah. Yeah.

Then, why didn't
you say anything?

All right. Is that
okay? Well, thank you.

Okay. Bye.

Who was that on the phone?

Oh, that was the travel
agent. I just cancelled

the honeymoon trip.

[both] Aww... [doorbell chimes]

Come on. It's okay. I'll
wait for Niagara Falls.

[both] Aww!

Larry! Hi, Jack?

How do I look?

♪ [sailor jig] ♪

Hi, sailor. New in town?

I am all set to
board that "sleep-six"

cabin cruiser! [Jack] Larry.

Had a tough time rounding
up five dates, but I did it!

Filled every bunk!

Larry. The wedding is off.

[imitates steam whistle] What?

Denise and I broke up.

Broke up?

Yeah, she was
all wrong for Jack.

She would have ruined his life.

I thought it was for the best.

Well, then that's
all that matters.

It's lucky you found
out in time, pal.

I'll just go upstairs and
change into my civvies.

[loud crying]