07x10 - The Impossible Dream

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Three's Company". Aired: March 15, 1977 - September 18, 1984.*
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Comedy about two single girls who need a roommate to share their Santa Monica apartment, they decide to offer a room to the guy they find passed out in the bathtub.
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07x10 - The Impossible Dream

Post by bunniefuu »

[Man] ♪ Come and
knock on our door ♪

[Woman] ♪ Come and
knock on our door ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪

[Both] ♪ Where the kisses
are hers and hers and his ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪

♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪

♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪

♪ We've a lovable space
that needs your face ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ You'll see that
life is a ball again ♪

♪ Laughter is calling for you ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪

♪ Three's company too ♪

Well, you're back in business.

I got your toilet working.

Thank you, Mr. Furley.

Want to hear what I had to do?

Not really.

It was nip-and-tuck all the way.

I believe you and I
appreciate what you did.

Glad to be of help.

With things the way
they have been going,

I just can't afford to pay
for a plumber right now.

If you want to make
some extra money,

why don't you put coin-operated
locks on those doors?

Gee, I don't think I
should charge people.

Why not?

"Pay as you go."

No, I don't think
so, Mr. Furley.

Well, okay. It's
money down the drain.

Let's see. What do we
got today on the menu?

"Patty-dee-foys-grass."

"Creeps Su-zits."

"Chocolate Mouse."

Those French'll eat
anything, won't they?

Please, Mr. Furley, I've
got a lot of things to do.

My kitchen helper
quit last night

and left me high and dry.

Well, I'll be glad
to take the job.

Huh?

What are friends for?

That's really sweet
of you to offer to help,

Mr. Furley, but I don't...

I'll work for half what you
were paying the other guy.

Is that a bargain or not?

But what do you know
about working in a kitchen?

What did I know about
managing an apartment building?

Look how that turned out.

Yeah, right. Thanks a lot,
Mr. Furley, but I don't think so.

Gee whiz, Jack. You sound
as if you don't want me around.

Oh, no, no, it's
nothing like that!

It's just that I don't want
to take advantage of you.

For heaven's sakes,
don't let that bother you!

What do you say? It's a deal?

Gee, I don't... That a boy!

Okay, just tell me
what you'd like me to do.

Oh, I couldn't.

Hi! Anybody home?

[Janet] Oh, hi, Terry! Hi!

What do you think
of my new dress?

Can you return it?

No.

I love it!

What's wrong with it? Nothing!

Then why don't you like it?

Oh, I like it! Thank you.

But not on you.

Why not?

Well, it makes you
look kind of, uh...

short.

I am short.

Then it's perfect.

[doorbell rings]

Thank you. That's
all I wanted to know.

[Terry] Sure, sure, sure.

Oh, hi, Larry. Hi.
Is Jack home yet?

He should be home any minute.

Hello, Larry. Well, hi.

Are you getting shorter?

Come on, Terry, I want
you to try on your new dress.

Hey, Lar. Hi!

How's it going
with the restaurant?

Oh, perfect. My
troubles are over.

Furley is coming to work for me.

I think that's beautiful.

You do? Yeah!

A friend helping a friend.

What?

Yeah. Look, that
restaurant's your dream

and Furley's dream is for somebody
to think that he could be useful.

Sure. Everybody needs a dream.

Even I have one.

Yeah, I know. I heard about her.

Come on, Larry, please.

I got a lot of
things on my mind.

Ah, business still bad, huh?

Oh, yeah. What do I have to
do to bring in some customers?

I don't know.

You could bring in some music.

What do you want
me to do, hire a band?

No, not a band. One guy.

He works with me
down at the used car lot.

What does he play,
the "brake" drums?

No, Jack. He's a guitarist
and a darn good one.

He's just working as a
salesman while things are slow.

Even if he is good,
it's a stupid idea.

I can't afford to
pay him anything.

He'll play for free.

Can he start
tonight? You got him.

♪♪ [classical]

Well, you're right, Larry.
This guy is really good!

Uh-huh. You watch. He'll
be good for business too.

I gotta fill these
orders. Okay, bye.

I need a bowl of soup.

Right!

You look right at home
here in the kitchen, R.F.

Well, why not?

If there's one thing
bachelorhood teaches you,

it's how to handle
yourself around the kitchen.

Yeah.

Ah!

How do these steaks
look, Mr. Furley?

Hot! You said it.

You want to put an oven mitt
on so you don't burn your fingers.

I knew that.

Need anything else?

Prepare these two Steak à la
Jacques and get them ready for serving.

Sure.

Okay, Mr. Furley, the medium
rare gets string beans and carrots,

and the medium well gets potatoes
au gratin and brussel sprouts.

Could you repeat that last part?

Potatoes au gratin
and... No, no, no.

The part after
"Okay, Mr. Furley."

Just read it,

and don't forget to pour the bordelaise
sauce on both of the Steaks à la Jacque.

Right.

You did heat up the
sauce like I asked you to?

You kidding? 'Course I did.

Hours ago.

This is great, Larry.
How can I ever thank you?

I'll think of something.
Excuse me.

I need my steaks.

Oh, no! What are you doing?

Mr. Furley, that's supposed
to be bordelaise sauce.

Those are two
Steaks à la Jacque!

So I used ketchup.
It's Steak à la Heinz.

Give me that!

Great. Now the customers are gonna
have to wait 20 minutes for new steaks.

Thank God for that guitarist.

[Larry] Good evening, ladies and
gentlemen, and welcome to Jack's Bistro.

I'm Larry Dallas, and I'm
here for your listening pleasure.

What?

♪ To dream ♪

♪ The impossible dream ♪

You know, ladies and gentlemen,

I dreamed an impossible dream,

to be a singer.

And now, thanks to
my very good friend,

the best friend that any
friend could possibly have

for a friend, Jack Tripper,

I'm gonna share that
dream with you, now.

I love you, Jack.
You're beautiful.

♪ To fight ♪

♪ The unbeatable foe ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪

♪ To bear, yeah ♪

♪ with unbearable sorrow ♪

Say ♪ to run ♪

♪ Where the brave dare not go ♪

Why? 'Cause I won't let 'em.

♪ To right the
unrightable wrong ♪

Oh, no!

I thought you wanted
the ketchup off the steak.

Just forget about
the steaks, Mr. Furley.

Larry is out there singing!

Why is he doing that?

Because he thinks he can.

If I don't stop Larry, he's gonna
make me lose all my customers.

♪ This is ♪

♪ My quest ♪

♪ To follow ♪

♪ That star ♪

♪ No matter how hopeless ♪

♪ No matter how far ♪

Take it home, Ralph.

♪ And the world ♪
Yeah!

♪ Will be better for this ♪

Why? Because it's a
rotten world. Let's face it.

♪ That one man scorned
and covered with scars ♪

Do you get those
scars? I just love them.

♪ Still strove ♪

♪ With his last
ounce of courage ♪

Let me handle
this. [guitar stops]

♪ To reach ♪

♪ The unreach... ♪

♪ Able ♪

♪ Sta-ah-ah-ar ♪

Larry!

[cheering] Bravo! Bravo!

Bravo! Encore! Encore!

Is there something
you want to tell me?

You want to sing
here every night?

You got it! All right.

Excuse me. I'll
take another bow.

Yeah, Larry.

I just... Well, I
don't believe it.

Well, believe it! The
man just got up and sang.

Larry?

Yeah! And he was a big hit.

Larry?

The people loved him.

Larry?

Will you stop saying that?

Oh, sorry. It's just that
it's so hard to believe.

Gosh, I feel awful.

First, I miss
Woodstock, now Larry.

You don't have
to miss him, Terry.

I've asked him back every night.

Did they really
like him that much?

Listen, why don't you guys come
on over tonight and see for yourself?

Hey, great! Yeah,
okay. Thanks, Jack.

Yeah, I'll see you tonight.

You're gonna love him.

[Both] Larry?

[Jack] Yeah, Larry!

♪ Why not take ♪

♪ All of me ♪

♪ All of me ♪

♪ Why not take ♪

♪ All of me ♪

Hi there, neighbors,
you're looking good.

♪ Can't you see I'm no good ♪

♪ Without you ♪

Ladies, control yourselves.

♪ Take my arms ♪

♪ I want to lose them ♪

What do you think?

I think I'm gonna be sick.

[screams]

Madam! Sir! Your...
your, uh, stea...

Excuse me, folks!

Larry, that lady screamed!

Take it easy, pal. They
scream for Sinatra too.

Hey, hey! You ain't
seen nothin' yet!

Hey, ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Bistro himself.

Your host, Jack
Tripper! Where was I?

♪ Take my arms,
I want to lose... ♪

Hey, pal, I work alone,
all right? Get cooking.

Isn't he a riot or what?

♪ Take my lips ♪

Two dinner salads.

Oh, in the refrigerator, Jack.

I put them in there to
keep them nice and chilled.

You know, like they
do in good restaurants.

I don't see them.

Oh, in the next
compartment, Jack.

This is the freezer!

Huh?

Oh, no!

They're frozen solid!

I can't serve these!

Well, why not?

Just tell them it's
iceberg lettuce.

The customers are waiting.

You want me to put them in
the oven and thaw them out?

No! Well, then what?

Two new dinner salads
right now, Mr. Furley, okay?

Okay.

♪ 'Cause you took the part ♪

♪ That once was my heart ♪

I just love the way that
sounds. One more time.

♪ 'Cause you took the part ♪

♪ That once was my heart ♪

What do you think?

He's vile, disgusting
and repulsive.

Janet?

I don't like him as
much as Terry does.

Just wait 'til he's finished.
Watch what the audience does.

♪ So why not take ♪

Everybody!

Okay, I understand.
You just want me.

♪ All of me ♪

Thank you, you're beautiful!

Well, well?

Larry, they're not applauding.

They couldn't. They were
too overcome with emotion.

[gasps] I just got
a silent ovation.

Excuse me, I gotta go
change for the next set.

Lar... Next set? Yes!

Excuse me.

Don't worry, sir. Your
dinner'll be up in a minute.

So will my lunch if
he keeps singing.

Pardon me?

Cancel our dinners. Come on.

Cancel the d...? Uh,
madam, excuse me...

Oh, wait, folks, please.
Please won't you stay?

I'll even throw in
earplugs, no charge.

Sir! Ma...!

I don't understand it.
Yesterday they loved him.

Jack, exactly who loved him?

What do you mean?

Well, who was in
your restaurant?


I don't know.

Couple of guys from
Larry's softball team

and a salesman
from his used car lot

and a girl Larry's been dating.

Oh, no!

He packed the
audience with his friends.

That low-down snake!

What are you gonna do about it?

What do you mean?
I'm gonna fire him!

Jack!

Here comes your chance.

I want you to see my new outfit.

How do I look?

You look like Zorro.

At least he wore a mask.

What's the matter with them?

Larry, it's about
your singing here.

I will never be able
to repay you, Jack.

No, Larry... No, no, no.

I meant that, Jack, sincerely.

These last two nights have
been the greatest of my life.

I had a dream, and you,

you're making it come true.

Larry... Yeah, pal?

Keep up the good work.

All right.

Well? Did you tell him?

Well, Terry, you see, I...

You didn't tell him.

I couldn't! He was
too busy thanking me.

Jack, now you have
got to do something!

Jack, people are getting
up and walking out.

[crash]

I can't worry about Larry
now. I have another problem.

I've got to get
rid of Mr. Furley.

Boy.

Somebody's just got to
tell Larry that he's a flop

and he's ruining
Jack's business.

Good idea, Janet.

Now go ahead and tell him.

Me? Why me?

Because you've
been a boss before.

You're used to yelling at people
and telling them that they're no good.

Well, what about you?

You're a nurse. You
stick needles in people.

Okay, okay.

Nobody wants to fire him,
so he just sings here forever.

Oh, boy. If there
was just, like,

some way we
could get him to quit.

Yeah.

Wait a minute.
Ooh, wait a minute!

I have some friends
down at the hospital.

I can call them, and they are
getting off duty just about now.

Down at the hospital?

What are they gonna do,
take out his vocal chords?

No. Well, what?

You'll see.

Terry! No, you'll see.

Sorry, Jack.

I admit this is as much
my fault as anybody's.

You were the only one here!

I already covered that.

Now, about these dishes...

Forget about the dishes.

What dishes? What?

You said forget about 'em, so...

Never mind the dishes.

There's something important
I want to talk to you about.

Oh, okay. Fire away.

Funny you should say that.

Look, see, we have
a problem here.

I was wondering when
you were gonna bring it up.

You were?

Well, you don't have
to be a genius to see

that tonight's been
a complete disaster.

This isn't easy for me to do.

You know how much
my friends mean to me.

Don't say another word.

I'll get rid of Larry.

What? No,
Mr. Furley... Don't worry!

I'll be very tactful.

Hey, guys. I'm
on in two minutes.

Larry? Yeah, Mr. Furley?

You're fired.

What?

You're sacked, canned,
dumped. It's over.

I can handle this, Mr. Furley.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Handle
what? What's going on?

Larry, it's your singing.

What about it?

Well, uh, it's not very good.

No, seriously. What about it?

Larry, you stink.

I want to hear it from him.

Jack?

Larry, you stink.

Uh-uh, all right. Well, look,
I'm glad you leveled with me.

I mean, it's important for a
performer to take criticism.

After all, I am a professional.

You learn to take
the bad with the good.

Oh, Jack, that was awful!

They hated me! Why
didn't you tell me?

Larry, the customers
were walking out.

What did you think?

I thought it was your cooking.

I'll never be able to
face anybody again.

Larry... I made
a fool of myself!

Boy, you sure did!

Would you busy yourself?

Larry, you didn't make
a fool out of yourself.

I didn't? You listen to me!

You did something that most
people don't have the nerve to do.

You lived out a fantasy.

Years from now, you can
look back on this night and say,

"I wanted to be a singer
and I gave it a sh*t."

You really think so?

I know so, pal. Come on!

Yeah, maybe you're right.

I'm not gonna go out
here hanging my head.

No, I'm gonna go
out here in style. Huh?

I am gonna go out there
and give your customers

one last show
they'll never forget.

You don't have to do that.

Larry, don't bother with that!

Larry!

See, Jack?

You were worried for nothing.

When it comes to telling
your friends bad news,

you don't have to
pussyfoot around.

Spit it right out. A
friend'll understand.

I'm glad you feel
that way, Mr. Furley,

because you're fired too.

What?

I said, "You're fired."

Mr. Furley! Geez, ah, help!

Come on, Mr. Furley!
Get some air in your lungs!

Breathe! Breathe, Mr. Furley!

Come on, inhale!
Exhale! Inhale, easy.

Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Exhale.

Are you all right?

Are you feeling better now?

Oh, thank goodness!

Jack, there's something
I've got to tell you.

Huh?

And you're not gonna like it.

What?

After what you just said to me,

I can't work here anymore.

But Mr. Furley... Don't beg!

I made up my mind. I quit!

Well, that takes care
of one of your problems.

And we're taking care of Larry.

Don't worry about Larry.

We had a talk and
he's quitting. What?

He's just gonna sing one more song
so he'll have something to remember.

[Larry] ♪ All of me ♪

Oh, my God. We
have to stop my friends!

Come on, Jack! What do you mean?

♪ All of me ♪

♪ Can't you see ♪
Whoa, look at this!

How nice! For me?

And there's a card too.
Whoo, with a phone number.

Okay, you little dickens.
Come on, who threw this?

Raise your hand.

That's it, the show's
over. I'm outta here.

Who are these guys?

Hey, thanks.

I want you to meet my roommates.

Come on, it's not that bad.

Yeah, lighten up, Jack.

No more, girls. I just never want
to go through a night like this again.

I'd just like to dig a hole
and pull it in after me.

So would Larry.

Oh, come on, Jack. Having
entertainment was not such a bad idea.

Yeah. Hey, the only problem
is you hired Larry instead of us.

You? What could you do?

Ah!

♪ All of me ♪

♪ Why not take all of me ♪

Okay, but what could you do?

Oh!

Ow!

How about this? How about this?

Chick-a-boom, chick-a-boom,

chick-a-chick-a-boom.

Chick-a-chick-a-chick-a-boom!

Now that's what I call a voice.

Your problem is, you just don't
recognize talent when you see it.

Yeah.

Don't accuse me of
having a closed mind.

Do it again.

♪ All of me ♪
Not you. Terry.

I liked the chick-a-boom.

Chick-a-boom!
Chick-a-boom! Chick-a-boom!

♪ All of me ♪

♪♪ [theme music]
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