[♪]
Sam?
SAMANTHA: Hi, sweetheart.
Hi.
How'd it go?
Like silk.
Larry and I played just a little
under our usual game,
and, fortunately,
Mr. Langley b*at us.
What'd he sh**t?
A 68.
Oh, my. It was certainly
decent of you to let him win.
He made us look like hackers.
But considering
he's the president
of Bigelow Industries,
it was the least we could do.
And you got the account?
Right.
Darrin?
Hm?
There's something
I've been meaning to ask.
How come Mr. Langley is
president of Bigelow Industries?
Well, the rumor is
that Mr. Langley
quietly garnered
the majority of the stock.
And the next thing
Bigelow knew, he was out.
Oh.
Now, for, uh,
some more good news.
Yes?
Mr. Langley has invited us
to join his country club.
I like the other
good news better.
Well, naturally, I made it clear
that I wanted to discuss it
with you first.
Darrin, we don't need to join
some dumb country club.
I couldn't agree more.
But this situation's
a little bit delicate.
See, J.J. Langley
is not only the president
of Bigelow Industries,
he is the president
and founder of the club.
And it wouldn't be good
business to turn him down.
Okay. We'll join.
Good. I filled out
the application this morning.
I thought you said you wanted
to discuss it with me first.
We just discussed it, didn't we?
Anyway, uh,
here's the procedure.
Sometime next week,
I have to play golf
with two of the men on
the admissions committee,
and you're expected to entertain
the ladies on the committee.
Heh.
How does that thrill you?
[SIGHS]
I have a better idea.
Hm?
Why don't I play golf
and you entertain the ladies?
Ah!
My dear child.
How are you?
Mother, it's not that
I'm not glad to see you,
but don't you think
that Darrin and I
deserve a certain amount
of privacy?
Who?
Oh, him.
Sam, don't expect your mother
to be gracious.
She doesn't do imitations.
And if you'll excuse me,
I'll go upstairs and change.
Oh, please don't change,
Durwood.
I want to forget you
exactly as you are.
[♪]
Mother...
Hm?
If you are going to insist
upon popping in like this,
uh, couldn't you be
a bit more pleasant?
Well, it isn't easy.
But I'll try.
Can't you see what that
feeble excuse
for a husband is doing to you?
He's turning you into
a live-in maid,
an unpaid cook and a babysitter.
And now he's forcing you
to submit to the environment
of a country club,
which is just a meeting place
for organized mortal snobs.
I would love
to sit here and bicker,
but I have to get lunch.
So if you'll excuse me...
Now, wait.
Wait.
Why can't you take an example
from your cousin Serena?
Oh.
Well, she doesn't worry
about diapers
or dinners or country clubs.
She's footloose and fancy-free.
She's quicksilver.
She lives in the sparkle
of a star,
in a flash of color.
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
See all the fun you're missing?
How about those handsome devils?
I wouldn't trade Darrin
for a hundred of them.
And he's every bit
as attractive.
Mortal life has not only thrown
sand in your mental gears,
it has also affected
your eyesight.
If you'd like some lunch,
stick around.
[♪]
Hmph! Tsk.
There must be some way
to make her see the light,
some way to remind her
of what she's given up.
[♪]
Of course.
I wonder why it didn't
dawn on me before.
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
The Corsican brothers
Were hexed by a spell.
Which will work on cousins
Just as well.
From this point on
Without further ado.
What Serena feels
Samantha will too.
SERENA:
Well!
Oh!
Okay, who's the wise guy?
[♪]
[NARRATOR READING
ON-SCREEN TEXT]
[♪]
[♪]
[♪]
Sweetheart, you'll be
ready for lunch soon?
Well, that depends.
Is Ma Barker still here?
Darrin, that is no way
to talk about my mother.
And she's gone.
You're pretty gone yourself,
you know that?
Well, thank you, sir.
No, I mean it.
About the country club,
I know we don't dig that stuff.
It was really great of you
to go along with it.
Hm.
You're the best little witch
a man ever had.
[♪]
Oh, be careful, my sweet.
Those are very hot.
Mm! Ooh!
Ooh!
Oh. Ooh. What...?
What was that?
Heh. It's called a kiss.
Uh, n-no.
I-I felt a burning sensation.
They don't call me
"Hot Lips" Stephens
for nothing.
[CHUCKLES]
I-I guess there must be a lot
of static electricity
in the air.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
[♪]
Oh, h-hi, Larry.
Hi, Sam, Darrin.
Hi, Larry.
Louise was still asleep
when I got back from golf,
so I thought I'd just drop over.
Mm.
Darrin tell you the good news
about our getting
the Langley account?
Oh, uh, y-yes.
That's wonderful.
And how about Langley
inviting you to join his club?
I just can't tell you
how I feel about that.
I knew you'd be delighted.
And I've got more good news.
We were blackballed?
What?
You know Sam
and her sense of humor.
[CHUCKLES]
You may not realize it,
but it's a great honor
to be invited to join that club.
Yes. I-I'm sure it is.
[GIGGLING] Stop that.
[GIGGLING]
It's certainly nothing
to laugh about.
I didn't know you were ticklish.
Well, I am.
I'm sorry.
[GIGGLING]
Well, I'm not that ticklish.
[GIGGLING]
Uh... Uh, Larry, y-you said
you had more good news?
Oh... Oh... Oh, yes.
Langley just called.
Boy, you really made
an impression on him.
And his wife.
She heads up the women's
admissions committee.
Oh.
[GIGGLES] She wants...
She and her co-chairman wanna
drop in and meet Sam right away.
Right aw...?
Right away, when?
This afternoon.
This afternoon?
[GIGGLING]
I knew you'd be tickled.
Mrs. Langley suggested 3:00,
if that's okay with you.
3:00?
[GIGGLING]
Oh. Ha-ha-ha!
[LAUGHING]
I never knew 3:00
was such a funny hour.
[LAUGHING]
[ALL LAUGHING]
Why am I laughing?
I have to go home
and wake up Louise.
Well, bye, you two.
[CHUCKLES]
Good luck.
[♪]
[DOOR CLOSES]
Honey.
Hm?
What's the matter with you?
Well, I-I don't...
I don't know.
I-I've just got the giggles,
I guess.
[GIGGLING]
Well, you laughed
in some pretty unfunny places.
Well...
Well, I couldn't help it.
It...
It was involuntary.
Like...
Like the hiccups.
[GIGGLING]
Sam, is there
something wrong with you?
Uh, something witchy?
Oh... Oh, please. Please.
Uh, ju...
Just don't mention it.
Oh, now, Clark,
behave yourself. Ha-ha.
Let's order some lunch.
I'm starved.
Maybe we ought to have lunch.
I'm starved.
[♪]
Wait until you taste
this lobster salad.
It's delicious.
I think I'll have
the ring-tailed pheasant.
It sounds out of sight.
Uh, why do I have
this sudden craving
for ring-tailed pheasant?
The last time you wanted
ring-tailed pheasant,
we found out Adam
was on his way.
No, I can assure you this is not
the same ring-tailed pheasant.
Well, excuse me.
I have to go to the market.
Uh, in the middle of lunch?
Would you care to explain that?
Not now. I have to have
some ring-tailed pheasant.
Uh, besides, I, uh...
I-I wanna pick up something
to serve Mrs. Langley and her
friend when they arrive.
I think I'd better do something
to make sure they don't arrive.
Darrin, don't just stand there.
I have got to have
some ring-tailed pheasant.
[♪]
Here's some chicken Kiev.
Won't that do?
No. No, it has to be
ring-tailed pheasant.
Care for some more?
Oh, no.
I couldn't eat another bite.
Here it is.
Springer's
ring-tailed pheasant.
Too late.
My craving just vanished.
Well, uh, come on.
There's some things I wanna get
for the ladies
of the Inquisition.
Uh, Sam, will you forget
about them?
I'm gonna call Larry right now
and tell him to cancel.
Oh, Darrin, don't worry.
As soon as we get home, I'll get
in touch with Dr. Bombay,
and he'll fix
whatever's wrong with me.
Yeah.
I'm gonna call Larry right now
and tell him to cancel.
[♪]
Come on. Let's groove.
[SNAPPING FINGERS]
There's no music.
There is now.
[GROOVY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
[BUSY SIGNAL BUZZES]
I tried to get Larry,
but his line is busy.
What are you doing?
I think I'm dancing.
[GROOVY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
You can dance your way
out of here
and into the parking lot,
and I'll call Larry
as soon as we get home.
[GROOVY ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
[MUSIC STOPS]
That's it.
Let's take five, or maybe 10.
It stopped.
Just as suddenly as it started.
I don't understand it.
Don't worry, sweetheart.
I'll call Larry and get rid
of Mrs. Langley and her friend
while you get in touch
with Dr. Bombay, and I'm sure...
[CAR HORN HONKS]
[♪]
Heh.
Uh, Mrs. Langley, right?
When you're right, you're right.
Why are they here an hour early?
To take me by surprise.
It's an old female trick
used by old females.
Well, they're here,
so let's just make
the best of it.
Oh, Mrs. Langley.
How nice to see you.
I'd like you to meet
my wife, Samantha.
Oh, how do you do?
How do you do?
And may I introduce
my co-chairman,
Mrs. Hunter.
Mrs. Hunter.
Nice to meet you.
So nice to know you.
I know we're a little bit early,
but I thought you wouldn't mind.
Oh, no.
No, of course not.
Please, come right in.
[♪]
Please, ladies,
uh, do go in and
make yourselves comfortable.
Uh, could I fix
you ladies a cocktail?
A cocktail?
[SCOFFS]
Well, hardly in the middle
of the day. Thank you.
Sweetheart,
it's earlier than you think.
I think it's later than I think.
Please, please. Won't you go in
and make yourselves comfortable?
And, um, I'll start
the refreshments.
I'll help you, honey.
[♪]
Uh-oh. It's Hermione.
Who's Hermione?
My wife.
You are a rat.
And that is an insult to rats.
Serena, my dear,
you seem to be upset.
I am.
The beast didn't tell me
he was married.
I hate men, all men.
Sam, why are you being
so obstinate?
Don't you know
that there's something
radically wrong with you?
Yes.
And I know what it is.
You.
What?
Oh, I-I'm sorry,
sweetheart.
I-I guess I'm upset.
Being a man,
you wouldn't understand.
You're beginning to bug me.
And I don't know why.
Well... Well, I do.
Whatever is wrong with you
is probably a spell
of your mother's.
Spell or no spell,
you're bugging me.
[♪]
[♪]
I'm sorry it took so long.
But that's what happens when men
decide to help out
in the kitchen.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Well, answer the door, will you?
At least they're good
for something.
Hi, Darrin.
Oh, Larry, what are you...?
I just came by to keep you
company when the ladies get...
Oh, they're here already.
Yes. They sort of caught us
by surprise.
How are you, Mrs. Langley?
Mrs. Hunter, nice to see you.
Mr. Tate.
Hello.
Oh, don't pay any attention
to me, ladies.
I just came by
to keep Darrin company.
How are things going?
We haven't started yet,
and you're not helping.
I beg your pardon?
Tsk. Men are such a drag,
aren't they?
They can be.
Mrs. Stephens has a very
special sense of humor.
[LAUGHING] It takes a little
getting used to,
but it's worth it.
I'm sure.
Mr. Stephens,
the purpose of our visit
was to get to know
Mrs. Stephens. So...
In other words, get lost.
Sure.
Sure.
[♪]
Now, where were we?
What's she mad about?
Oh, yeah, she's not mad.
Uh, when she gets nervous,
she just sounds mad.
Oh, boy, what have you got
for a hangover?
How about a bicarb?
This is a hangover
I'm trying to get.
[♪]
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, excuse me, ladies.
Uh, my canapés are burning.
Oh.
[SNIFFLING]
You really surprise me, Serena.
[SOBBING]
Crying because a silly warlock
ran out on you?
I'm not crying
because he ran out on me.
Then why are you?
Because
now I don't have anything
to do this afternoon.
[SOBS]
Oh, thank you.
I-I'm... I'm afraid
they're a little scorched.
It's the first time
it's happened. Uh...
It makes me so angry
I could cry.
Oh, but, my dear,
they're not that scorched.
Oh, why, you can barely tell
that they're burnt.
[SOBS]
[SNIFFLES]
Now what's the matter with her?
Well, she, uh...
It must be her hay fever.
I never knew Sam had hay fever.
Well, you know Sam.
She hates to brag. Heh.
I think I'd better have
another one of these.
Oh, stop sniveling this instant.
You're spoiling everything.
What am I spoiling?
[SCOFFS]
None of your business.
[SOBS]
But you need something
to cheer you up.
Ah.
Drink this, and it will
change your whole outlook.
It will?
Mm-hm.
One drink, and look out.
[SNIFFS]
Sounds groovy.
[SNIFFS]
[♪]
Mm!
It's not bad.
What is it?
Witches' Joy Juice.
I never heard of it.
Well, that's because
I just made it up.
[♪]
You know,
you've been very good to me,
and I'd like to thank you both.
Tabitha.
What an odd name.
Is that Scandinavian?
No. It's international.
Oh, were you born abroad
by any chance?
Huh?
Oh.
Heh-heh.
No. A-Actually, I...
Why do you wanna know
where I was born?
That's no way to judge a person.
Oh, well, of course not.
We only asked because...
Because you don't accept
foreign-born members, right?
That is not true.
We have one member
from Brooklyn.
Oh, is that a fact?
Whoopee!
I beg your pardon?
Well, if a member from Brooklyn
doesn't deserve
a "whoopee," who does?
Hi.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Now what's the matter with her?
Well, uh,
w-when Sam gets nervous
and then starts sounding mad,
she usually takes
a little nip or two
to give her confidence.
This stuff sure does
cheer you up.
[♪]
I think you're happy enough.
Oh, auntie.
[LAUGHS]
Have another burnt offering.
Ooh! Ha-ha!
Whoopsie-daisy.
No, no, no, no. Leave them
for the mice. Ha-ha.
Just a little whimsy
to liven up the party.
Darrin, do something, quick.
Or we'll lose
the Langley account.
And we don't even have it yet.
What can I do?
I don't know.
Yell "fire."
Anything.
Perhaps we should have given
Mrs. Stephens
a little more notice.
Uh, we seem to have caught her
at a bad time.
[CHUCKLES]
Oh, no. Not at all.
Anytime would have been
a bad time.
Say, where did you get that hat?
Oh, uh, do you like it?
Nope.
I just wanna make sure
I stay out of that store.
I think we should be leaving.
Oh, there's an idea.
Whoop. Hee-hee.
[♪]
You're not leaving already?
We really must go.
Oh, no.
Please stay.
You're entitled
to an explanation,
and I'm going to give it to you,
just as soon as I find out
what it is.
Excuse us just a minute.
Uh, Mrs. Langley,
Mrs. Hunter,
please come back
and sit down. You...
Samantha's not really
herself today.
But I-I-I'm sure in no time,
we'll find out...
Uh, s-sit down.
[♪]
Samantha, what the devil
is going on?
Don't ask me.
Ask the devil.
[LAUGHS]
Or his closest relative,
who happens to be your mother.
Ooh.
I think there's no reason
to wait longer.
I'm afraid I found out
more than I want to.
Uh, Mrs. Langley, please.
Uh, l-ladies,
I-I'm sure if you... If you'll
just wait for just a second...
Mrs. Langley. Mrs. Langley,
I promised you an explanation,
and I think
I-I finally have it.
Yes?
The only problem is
how to explain it.
Oh, please don't bother.
Mr. Langley is going to be
very disappointed.
Tsk.
That's too bad.
But I bet he won't be
half as disappointed
as Mr. Bigelow was when
Mr. Langley got rid of him.
When I tell Mr. Langley
about this outrageous
interview...
That's what you get
for dropping in early
and snooping on people.
Outrageous interviews.
Ha-ha.
I suppose you know
what this means.
I suppose you know
what this means.
Uh, Mrs. Langley,
Darrin's just an employee.
I'm the president
of McMann & Tate.
[♪]
Peekaboo.
I suppose you know
what this means.
I sure do.
Whoopee!
[LAUGHING]
Ooh, my.
Ha-ha.
Ooh, the Kickapoo Joy Juice.
[♪]
[♪]
I have a wonderful idea
for your mother.
What's that?
She should be sent
to a psychiatrist,
if witches have such a thing.
They don't.
Then they should invent one
just for her.
Oh, will you calm down?
She came back and took
the spell off me, didn't she?
Hm. That was swell of her.
After I lost
the Langley account.
You do realize
you're talking to a man
who's going to have to find
a new job?
Well, maybe it's time
for a change.
Yeah, of wives.
Darrin.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
[♪]
Hi, Darrin.
I thought you and I
weren't speaking.
[LAUGHS]
Where's your sense of humor?
When I said you were fired,
you didn't think
I meant you were fired?
What did you mean?
Hi, Sam.
Wait till you hear.
Hear what?
I just heard it on the radio.
The swindle that Langley pulled
to get Bigelow
out of the company
will be front-page stuff.
And our being involved
with him at a time like this
could...
Could have ruined us.
That's what I call luck.
What makes you think
it was luck?
Hm?
I told you
we should have told him.
Told him what?
Why I put on
that little performance
for the ladies.
You mean you knew about Langley?
But how?
Well, uh, Sam didn't,
uh, really know.
She just had a, uh, premonition.
A premonition?
Come on, Sam, tell me the truth.
How did you find out about it?
Larry, uh, don't tell anybody,
but I'm married to a witch.
[LAUGHING]
A premonition, huh?
Now, let's have a drink on it.
[♪]
[♪]
07x11 - The Corsican Cousins
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Samantha falls in love with and marries Darrin Stephens only for him to find out that his new wife is one of a secret society of powerful witches and warlocks and that a twitch of her nose brings magic.
Samantha falls in love with and marries Darrin Stephens only for him to find out that his new wife is one of a secret society of powerful witches and warlocks and that a twitch of her nose brings magic.