Girl: there once
were some irish folk,
But sadly, they were
quite broke.
So they packed up their crates
and moved to the states,
And their fortune
they brought in a poke.
Now, their luck, it came fast,
and their fortunes grew vast,
Because they stole
the luck of a creature,
But the thing got away,
and their gold turned to hay.
The town was appalled,
and fools they were called,
For ever daring to gain
from the dreaded luchorpain.
[Thunder]
But... That all came
long before me.
My part in this tale starts
exactly as it ends...
With a bang.
[g*nsh*t]
You missed it
high right, toots.
You're too good a sh*t
to miss it high right.
Let's adjust that sight.
Life is all about math,
alchemy, and luck.
With us o'haras,
it's mostly luck.
Yeah, you and that
lucky boar's tooth.
It's an irrational world.
I don't make the rules.
I just break them.
[Cocks r*fle]
Do you really
believe all that stuff?
You know, luck
and fairies and magic?
I certainly do.
No, but really.
Do you really believe it?
There are more things
in heaven and earth, henrietta,
Than are dreamt up
in your philosophy.
What?
Exactly.
[Animal grunting]
You got one
in the chamber?
No.
Put one in.
There it is.
Follow me. Come on.
Pop!
[Gurgling sounds]
[Growling]
Karen,
you all right?
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm fine.
I thought I told you
to follow me.
I know. I got
a little turned around.
You ok?
Is she ok?
You ok?
She's fine. She just got
spun around and knocked down.
Fell down?
Honey, sweetheart,
Are you doing
all right?
You gonna tell me what
happened out there?
I was walking...
How many times
have I told you
Those damn boars
are dangerous!
You don't even have a hunting
license, for pete's sake!
What the hell do I need a
hunting license for? I know you.
If you knew me,
you know how pissed off I'd be
If I knew
you took her out.
It's one thing to put
your own life in danger.
All right? It's quite another
to put karen's.
You're crossing
the line, old man. What?
She's very capable.
I don't know
what you see, ok?
But when I look at her,
I see a little girl.
Well, open your eyes.
My eyes are open.
And you know
what they see?
They see
the whole town
Saying your pop
is a lunatic.
And you know what?
I've been defending you... Till now.
Because
I believe them.
They're right.
They're all right.
[Car door slams
and engine starts]
What? I hurt your feelings?
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to
hurt your feelings.
What in the hell?
I should have moved
my cat and dog.
What in the hell?
[Low growling]
You want my gold tooth?
[g*nsh*t]
[Screaming]
[Indistinct
radio transmissions]
Are you sure
you're all right?
Dad, I didn't...
Didn't just fall
in the woods.
Something att*cked me.
att*cked?
What do you mean
something att*cked you?
An animal?
It got caught in some roots,
I sh*t it, and it ran.
Well, I'm glad
you're safe,
But you've got to
make sure you know
What it is you're
sh**ting at, honey.
What?
I'm just glad that
pops is teaching you
To take care
of yourself.
Hey, hap.
Top of the morning
to you.
Grab some real estate.
I'll be right with you.
Lucky number 7.
You ready
to talk about it,
Or do I have to
wait till number 8?
And don't give me
any of that
"We don't talk
about that" crap.
We don't talk
about that crap.
[Sighs]
I almost
got karen k*lled.
What? How?
Hunting...
Keening woods.
Temping fate hunting
over there all the time.
You know that, right?
Haven't found
any fairy folk
Over there in over
a hundred years.
But something's
wrong.
Don't start with
the leprechauns again.
I'm still picking
teeth off the floor
From the last fight
you started
Over those
damn things.
Here.
Just be glad
You're not
old man mchenry.
What's that
supposed to mean?
Well, his bed-and-breakfast
b*rned down on tuesday. Look.
Anybody get hurt?
No, but still...
Luck of the irish.
No number 8's till you stop
with the leprechaun crap.
What can I do
for you fine folks?
[Indistinct]
[Beeping]
Dad?
Dad?
[Stair creaking]
[Dialing cell phone]
Man: hello.
Hi, honey.
God. I think
something's in the house.
You what?
The door's open.
The alarm went off.
I think
someone's here!
Go to your room right
now and lock the door.
Go. Move. Now.
I can't hear you.
Why aren't you walking?
I can't hear you.
Ok.
Are you there?
Are you...
I heard the door.
Are you in?
Sweetie? All right.
Now listen to me.
Are you sure
about this? Honey?
Yeah.
Ok. Then you do
exactly as I say.
You get under
the bed right now.
It's the safest place
to be. Go. Hello?
Aah!
Tag, karen. You're dead.
You're dead, and you
don't even know it.
[Horn honking]
[Horn honking]
Hurry up.
Hey.
Hey. Why didn't you tell me
you weren't coming to school?
Yeah. Sorry. I only decided
a few minutes ago.
What's that?
Some kind of weird
plant rash.
Ew...
Ok. You look weird.
What's wrong?
I was att*cked.
What? By who?
Some animal
out in the woods.
Holy crap, karen.
Are you ok?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm fine. I'm fine.
Pop was there.
I had my g*n.
I sh*t at it,
and it ran.
If you need me to bail,
I totally can.
No. That's fine.
Just... Go to school,
and I'll see you later.
Are you sure?
- Yeah.
- All right.
Feel better.
Yeah.
Bye.
Karen, hey.
Hey, karl.
Hey. Yeah.
From the keening courier.
I also have that blog that I
write called "strange happenings."
I have seen it.
Ah, cool.
You were
at the pharmacy.
You're not
feeling too good?
Not really, no.
Well, anyway, I was
wondering if...
You know, if you
had a minute,
You want to talk to me
about that... Experience
You had out
in keening woods.
Because I saw the police
report your dad wrote
That you were
att*cked by an animal,
But you weren't able
to identify it completely.
So I don't know.
I was just kind of
Wondering if you could
describe it for me.
No. Karl, I do not
feel comfortable
Doing that
for your blog.
Oh, ok. Strange
creature, huh?
No.
- Unearthly? Otherworldly?
- No.
Karl!
No. Yeah. But, see...
I was doing research
on the area
That you were
hunting in, and...
I just noticed that it was
right next to the tree of tears,
And I was wondering
if anything strange happened.
Wait.
What is the tree
of tears?
It's right smack in the
middle of keening woods.
You heard of it?
No.
As legend has it,
it's, um...
The town has
some dark secrets
That are buried
right there.
You sure you don't want to tell
me about this thing you sh*t?
I get 100,000 hits
a week on my blog.
No, karl.
You weren't really out there
hunting boar, were you?
What?
You're an o'hara.
Come on.
Oh, and what is that
supposed to mean?
It's, uh... Pops o'hara,
the o'hara legacy.
[Sighs]
Ok. Thanks, karl.
Ok. I get it.
But if you change
your mind
And you want to talk
to me, call me,
Because I'm texting you
my number right... Now.
Oh, great.
Thanks, karl.
That was me
on the phone.
Great.
Who gave you
my number?
Bye.
What the heck are you?
No! No! Aah!
Aah! Ah...
[Bagpipe music playing]
Top of the morning
to you.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold it.
I love you, karen,
but you can't come in here.
Your dad's gonna shut the
place down in a flash.
Oh, come on.
When I was 10,
You let me sit there
and sing "o danny boy"
For two beers with pop.
You didn't have
a problem with it then.
Sweetheart...
That's commerce.
I knew it.
You're cheating me, old man!
Hey. What the hell
is the matter with you?
You can't
cheat at darts.
You can either
throw the dart
In the bull's-eye,
or you can't.
The only person
who's ever cheated you
Was the guy upstairs.
He cheated you
out of any brains.
Knock it off,
both of you.
Hey, o'haras don't
hustle. Get out.
Who the hell
are you?
Someone who can have
the sheriff here in 2 minutes.
Now leave.
You heard the lady.
Hit the bricks.
You're hustling
dart games now?
That's
a new low.
Just separating
a fool from his gold.
You want to play?
Pop, i, um...
I have something
I want to show you.
You know
what that is?
I looked it up.
It says it's an ancient
curse from ireland.
You pick a red
4-leaf clover,
And you release
an evil spirit.
If you don't get it
in 4 days, you're dead.
I picked one yesterday.
So, what do we do?
We're gonna need
the luck of the irish.
Luck of the irish?
What the hell
does that even mean?
You're always legends
and fairytales,
But now something
really real comes along,
And all you've got
is the luck of the irish.
What's the end
of this fairy tale?
I don't need
luck of the irish!
I need answers!
Well, karen...
Um...
The burn on your hand
is concerning,
But not nearly so much...
As these bloodwork reports.
Why? What are they?
Your white blood cell count...
Through the roof.
And what does
that mean?
It means your body is fighting
off a serious infection,
In this case,
a potentially deadly one.
The strange thing is,
you don't have a fever.
The rest of your bloodwork
is completely normal.
Are you superstitious?
- Karen, this is serious.
- So am i.
What are you
talking about?
I think I'm cursed.
Ha. Don't tell me.
You've been listening
to your pops again.
Karen, you know
the man is...
What? Go ahead.
Say it. A drunk.
My pops is
a crazy drunk.
Everybody says it.
I know it.
Do you know
I believed in unicorns
Until I was 12
because of him?
And all his stories
about keening woods
Being haunted, all
the goblins and fairy folk...
I'm starting
to think he's right.
I'm cursed.
Karen...
Be rational.
Why? It's
an irrational world.
You want to put me
in a hospital for 3 days,
Run every test
in the book?
I'll be dead
on the fourth day.
No, thank you.
[Ring ring]
Hey, karen. Hi. Hey.
Hey, dax. What's up?
Oh, nothing.
You, um... You weren't
in school today.
So I got your calc homework
for you if you want.
Thanks.
Or, I mean... I can...
You need anything?
I can... Do you need...
I'll do whatever.
I... You know, or if you
just want to talk.
No, I'm fine,
but... Thank you.
Dax, isn't that
your closet door?
What? Yeah. Why?
Who's that?
- [Creaking]
- who's who?
That.
Behind you.
Karen, that's not funny.
You're freaking me out
a little bit, all right?
Dax, I'm not kidding. You need to
turn around. There's something there.
Ok, karen, that's not funny.
You're freaking me out.
Stop it, all right?
Don't do that.
No, dax!
Get out of there!
I call you
to check on you,
And you respond
with some weird joke?
Dax, look out!
Aah!
Hey, sicky,
I said I have
Your calc homework
if you want it.
Good morning.
Good morning.
How are you
feeling?
Yeah? Better?
Butter?
Yeah.
Um... Sweetheart,
I want to, um...
Ask you
a couple questions
About the, uh...
The thing
that att*cked you
In the woods
the other day.
I want to know
if you can, uh...
You know,
describe it...
That's plenty.
At all.
That's plenty
of butter.
I mean, I don't know.
It's hard. I...
I didn't really
see it.
It's honey.
I couldn't find
the syrup.
It's gonna take
a little time.
Um... Are we talking
about like a...
Wild dog?
A bear?
Wolf?
A person?
You sh*t a person?
No, not a person.
It was covered
in roots.
It came up
out of the ground.
Look, it looked like
one of those old drawings
Of, like, the guys
with the goat feet and...
I sound crazy.
I know.
Nah. You just
sound like
You're traumatized
is all.
Eat your waffle.
What's going on?
What is it?
A person went missing in
keening woods yesterday.
I'm on my way
Out there now
to check it out.
You didn't sh**t
them, too, did you?
Dad.
The woods are off
limits, all right?
Period.
You come home
after school
Until we find out what
the hell this thing is.
Ok.
And eat the waffle.
Go to work.
[Scraping sound]
[Voices whispering]
[Car horn honks]
Come on, sicky.
Come get in the car.
[Engine starts]
[Music on radio]
Hey, dax, thanks
for giving me
My calc homework
last night.
Sorry I was
being so weird.
Yeah. No worries.
Hey, uh, karen,
I know you're not
feeling too hot,
But would you
want to come
And help us with the float
tonight after school?
- Um...
- Please?
I don't know.
Well, as st.
Patrick's day parade queen,
I could command
you to do it,
But since you're
not feeling too hot,
I'll just ask.
Yeah. Um... I'll stop by
for a little bit.
Awesome.
Me, too. I love
decorating floats.
Cool.
Karen,
you all right?
Let me out! Open the car doors!
Let me out now!
All right! All right!
Open the door
right now!
I need to get
out of the car!
Just open
the door, please!
Where are you going?
Hey!
[Tires screeching]
[Siren]
What is
the matter with you?
Me? What is
the matter with you?
Isn't it illegal
to use your... Cop siren thing
To harass
your little brother?
[Sighs heavily]
What?
It's illegal
To read books
in public now?
No. Don't be stupid.
What's wrong with you, huh?
Your phone broken?
No. Why?
Mom's been trying
to call you for 3 hours.
Well, mom worries
too much.
Yeah, I know,
and you make it worse
Because when she
worries, she calls me,
And I have to drive all around
town looking for your ass.
Hey, search and seizure.
She doesn't have a warrant!
Just to tell you to put
your phone off mute.
All right. Sorry.
Huh.
What are you
reading?
"Milf"?
What the hell?
It's "medieval irish
legends and folklore."
M.i.l.f.
Why do you read all this
fantasy crap anyway?
I don't know.
Look, I like reading
the kind of crap
Where guys like me
actually get the princess.
You are the princess.
"Goblins, fairies,
and mischief makers."
I'm reading it
for a friend.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah. Karen o'hara.
The sheriff's daughter.
Dax, my boss.
You're trying to seduce
my boss' daughter
With goblins, fairies,
and mischief makers?
I'm not trying
to seduce anybody.
I'm... She's
in trouble. Ok?
So she's in trouble
with goblins,
And you're trying to save
her with fairies and magic?
At least I don't have to
worry about you seducing her.
Thanks, sis.
That's real nice.
Great sister.
Love you, too. The best.
Radio: unit 169,
We've got a possible 382
on old forest road
In keening woods.
Isn't that...
Someone's gone missing?
Maybe.
I got to go. Ok?
Yeah. Look
who wants to be
The knight
in shining armor now.
Ha ha. Very funny.
Call mom, smartass.
Call your mom.
That's your mom
you're talking about.
Good luck with karen.
[Car door closes]
[Engine stops]
Unit 214 checking in.
Who am I looking for, carrie?
Woman on radio: holly morris
called in again about ian,
Said he went missing on one
of his hunting trips yesterday.
Yeah, well,
I found his car.
Probably
just drunk again.
The sheriff wants you
to check it out anyway.
Copy that.
I hate keening woods.
[Rustling]
Ian?
Oh, my god.
Carrie, get the sheriff
out here right away.
Oh. Hey, karen.
Um... I wanted to come by
and check on you,
Make sure you're feeling...
Are you all right?
Yeah. You didn't
have to do that.
I know.
Um, actually,
I wanted to talk
to you about something,
If that's all right.
Yeah. Yeah.
Um... It's...
What's that?
You don't remember
drawing this?
Well, you did, um...
Right before you
freaked out in the car.
Um... This word,
you know what it means?
I connected
the letters like this...
L-u-c-h-o-r-p-a-i-n.
"Luchorpain."
It's... It's old gaelic
for leprechaun.
How do you
know all this?
I know, right?
I'm, like, the only
kid in the world
Who still uses
the library.
Yeah. Well, then I
must suck at drawing
Because this doesn't look
anything like a leprechaun.
Well, not the kind
that we're taught about.
[Ahem]
But look at this.
It's the thing that came
at me in keening woods.
You must think
I'm nuts.
No, I don't.
Well, then you're nuts
for believing me.
Maybe.
Honey, it's
a very nice drawing,
But what is it exactly?
A drawing of what came
at me in the woods.
It's what?
Look, I know
it sounds crazy,
But I think
it's a...
I can't believe
I'm saying this.
I think it's
a leprechaun.
All right. Sweetie,
what are you saying now? Ok?
I think
pop was right.
I mean, maybe
there's some truth
In the old town legend
about the settlers
Bringing a leprechaun
with them from ireland.
Ok. That's great.
But, honey, listen.
You and I both know
that pop's not altogether there.
But I know
what I saw.
I'm sure you do,
but could we please
Just talk about this later
when I get home?
I'm kind of in the middle
of it right now.
Ok. Bye, dad.
Bye.
[Sighs]
[Woman coughing
and gagging]
You all right?
What's the matter?
What's wrong?
Get back in the car.
I'm fine.
Get out of here.
I'm ok.
That's stanley
haworth.
Looks like his body
was dragged up
From his
fishing spot.
Is that
an animal att*ck?
We haven't had bears
in here for 60 years.
That ain't no boar.
What's that?
What?
Is that a goat?
Not unless it
walked on two legs.
What?
Look at that track pattern.
It's a two-legged creature.
Whoa!
I'm sorry.
You all right?
What if I told you
that i...
That I just saw
a leprechaun?
Are you kidding me? I'd say,
"what the hell is wrong with you?"
Yeah. That's
about right.
[Door creaks]
[Rattling]
Leslie?
Leslie?
Leslie?
[Chewing sounds]
Leslie?
Are you eating something?
Hello.
Hello!
Is somebody there?
[Electrical buzzing]
[Growls]
[Siren]
Not enough that
you never pay me.
Now you're
stealing stuff?
Give me
a break, hap.
This thing is bigger
than the both of us.
I should call
your son,
Have him throw you
in the t*nk.
Wouldn't be the first
time, would it?
You stealing
my lucky horseshoe
To fight another
leprechaun, are you?
Kiss my johnny
belinda, wally.
And I have even
started drinking today.
That's what
I'm afraid of.
Bring it back
when you're done.
Hey, jen.
Not now, karl.
What? Jeez.
All I said was hi.
We're working here.
You got any questions,
ask sheriff o'hara.
I did.
He sent me to you.
I don't know anything.
That's probably why
he sent me to you.
Knock it off, karl.
Can I get a quote?
Remember the last time
I gave you a quote?
Yeah, when the tornado
brought the sharks
To the lake... Sharknado.
It took me two years to live
that stupid headline down.
Hmm. I see his cufflinks
were ripped off.
Very astute of you, karl.
You should have been a cop.
So should you.
- Shut up.
- You shut up.
The cufflinks were gold.
Perp obviously
Ran off with them.
That's all I'm giving you.
Oh, right.
The cufflink bandit.
Yeah, that's probably
what happened.
Excuse me?
No, no. It's just I'm
sure you're well aware
Of the case of this happening
in town many years ago.
Spit it out, karl.
What are you trying to tell me?
1874. 14 People were
m*rder*d in keening,
And gold was taken straight
from the victims' bodies.
You telling me this is
a copycat m*rder?
Or a supernatural
creature.
You know the keening
leprechaun
Was reputed to have
eaten gold
To heal itself
and get stronger?
Oh, my god!
I can't believe
I'm standing here
listening to you.
What is wrong with me?
Get out of here. Go.
There's someone or something
out there offing people,
And I've got the right
to report it.
Look, we don't know
who's doing this. Ok?
Or what.
The last thing the
people of keening need
Is your boogeyman crap in
the paper right now, ok?
Or online.
Or online.
So I take it that's a "no
comment" from the police?
Bite me, karl.
I'm gonna
quote you on that.
Good. Just make sure
you spell my name right.
[Irish music playing]
[Humming softly]
[Screaming]
Oh, my god!
[Screaming continues]
[Screaming stops]
Ooh, they gave you
the nice cubicle.
Change your mind
about giving me
The story on your
strange creature, huh?
No. I just wanted
a few answers.
Join the club.
People are dropping
like flies around here,
And your dad
and his team
Are about as tight-lipped
as a mime with tetanus.
"A mime with tetanus"?
That's the best you could come up with?
You want to talk
about this thing,
Or did you come here
to bag on my metaphors?
Similes.
Sit down.
Fine.
Tell me
what you saw,
And I'll give you
everything I got.
I think I sh*t
a leprechaun.
I knew it!
I knew there was
something to that...
That whole legend.
Did you...
You didn't k*ll it,
though, did you?
No.
Did you get a good
look at it?
Not really,
but I got this.
Ooh.
And I got this.
It's the curse
of the red clover.
Yeah.
So, how do I
b*at this?
You're gonna have to face
the leprechaun yourself.
How?
I don't know.
Well, karl, what
do you mean "face it"?
You mean
fight it, k*ll it,
b*at it
at a game of chess?
The legend
is incomplete.
I don't know. Talk to pops.
What does he know?
The same as you,
just drunk.
I wish
I knew more.
Me, too. Well,
thanks anyway, karl.
And by the way, I don't want
to see this in your newspaper.
Or my blog.
That, too.
Hello, pulitzer.
Here, leppy,
leppy, leppy.
Got some yummy
gold for you.
Yum, yum, yum,
yum, yum.
Whoa.
Nice.
[Rustling]
[Horn honking]
Uh!
[Crunching]
Ok. More to your right.
Your other right.
Mmm...
Ok.
Hey, what
about this?
Really?
Oh, come on, honey.
It's been in the family
for generations.
It's lucky.
It wasn't lucky
for grandpa mchenry.
Well, sure it was.
Everyone got out
of the fire ok.
Didn't they?
I don't know, mom.
I just want to be beautiful,
Not... That.
Hey, lucky is lucky.
And it's like
your grandpa always said,
There's no use
fearing the wind
If your haystacks
are tied down.
But ok.
Suit yourself.
Hey, karen,
how are you feeling?
Do you want to help us
finish up the float?
No. I just wanted to
stop by and say hi
And... Sorry
for freaking out
In the car
this morning.
You're going crazy.
It's cool.
I'm gonna go home
and get some rest.
All right.
Feel better.
Ok. Here we go.
Now take good
care of this.
All the pretty queens
have worn it before you.
Lined with gold.
I hereby
pardon you, miss.
But for real,
feel better.
Stop by later
if you want.
I'd love to,
but I already promised
My two favorite subjects
that I'd hang out with them
After they finish
my throne.
I can walk you home.
I mean, uh...
If you want.
Ok.
Son of a bitch.
I just wanted
to say thank you
For everything
today.
Yeah. I mean,
I just don't like to see anybody upset.
Oh, so it's not me?
It's the situation?
[Ahem]
No. No, it's you.
Come on. You know
I've liked you
Since, like,
fifth grade.
It's pathetic.
I know.
What? No,
it's not pathetic.
You don't think
it's pathetic
That it took you
being att*cked
By a mythical
creature
For me to man up
and talk to you?
Fifth grade, though?
Seriously?
Yeah.
You don't remember?
You kicked
evan shardoff's ass
When he was
picking on me.
Ah. Pop was teaching me
how to box that summer.
You were... The best.
Who the hell is that?
Come on!
[Growling]
[Screeches]
Is that the horseshoe
from our mailbox?
Yeah.
That's two.
Come on.
Get in the house.
Get in the house.
I always thought leprechauns
were nice little guys
In green
with pots of gold.
Yeah, in fairy tales maybe,
but in the real world,
They're the vermin
of all the fairy folk.
There's other fairy folk?
There's other fairy folk.
[Sighs]
How do you think
this town,
Founded by a bunch
of irish immigrants,
Did as well
as it did?
Because of the gold
mine in keening gorge.
How do you
strike a gold mine
In a state that doesn't
have any gold veins?
They captured a leprechaun
in the old country,
And then they brought it
over with them
When they settled here.
Everyone knows
that story.
Yeah, they got
its pot of gold, right?
No. They drained
the luck out of it
Up at the old
gold refinery.
They turned it
mean and vicious,
And then it turned
on them and escaped.
That's when they hired your
great-great-great-grandfather
Elias to hunt it down.
It doesn't sound like
he did a very good job.
He did a great job.
He buried it in the woods
according to irish legend.
4 Horseshoes bound
the leprechaun in place.
They were mounted
on compass points...
North, south, east,
and west of the grave.
So who moved them?
Well, you know,
that fire
At mchenry's bed and breakfast
dislodged one of them,
And that's when
the red clover bloomed.
It's not a boar tooth
on your neck, is it?
No. This was
passed down
From generation to generation
by elias.
In case the town forgot,
the o'haras never would.
So he buried it
in the woods?
That's all
we've got to do?
No, that's not all
we've got to do.
We've got to find
the 4 horseshoes,
And then we've got to use
the 4 horseshoes against him.
We've already
got one.
We got two,
And they're like crucifixes
to a vampire.
They hate them.
Yeah, I figured
that out.
Where are the others?
Well, I think one
is at the brewery,
And then the other one
is at the fire,
But it's gone missing.
Then let's go
to the brewery.
No, I'll get
the horseshoes.
What you two need to do
is go through the books
And figure out
how to attach them together
So we can lift
the curse.
Hey, pop, when we
k*ll that thing,
I get its tooth.
Deal. I'm gonna get one
for you, too, squirt.
[Sighs]
Check this out.
What the hell
is that?
That is blood.
Green blood?
From what?
Exactly. Why don't
you get in there,
Get a sample?
Yeah. I'll leave that
to forensics.
It looks like whatever
this thing was,
It was hiding in the
dumpster when it was wounded.
Sounds like my father.
Why don't you
keep it together, boss?
There's a crime scene
right there. [Sighs]
It looks like happy
was taking out the trash
When this thing
jumped out and...
Did we ever get
those lab reports
On those prints
back from the lake?
Yeah. I e-mailed
boston college zoology.
They said there's no such
hoof in the database.
There's what?
There's no such hoof
in the database.
Come on. Hoof!
- What?
- There's no such hoof.
Hoof. And forget
your troubles.
Come on.
Get happy.
You know, it gets
weirder in there.
See what I mean?
Yeah. That's weird.
Should i, uh...
Be scared to ask
what sort of animal
Bleeds dark green,
r*fles through
a coin case,
And only takes
the gold coins?
Yeah.
Yeah, I thought so.
Want to hear
a weirder question?
What eats gold coins?
- Radio: sheriff, copy?
- Yeah?
We have a disturbance
by your house.
What?
Witnesses say they heard
a couple of kids screaming
Then a shotgun
being fired
By someone
in an old mustang.
That'll be right.
All right. We're on it.
Hello.
Your majesty.
Got you.
I'm not that fat!
You realize we're not
gonna find any beer.
This place has been
shut down for years.
Yeah, but happy
o'shanen is using it
To store a whole roomful
of gold leaf cream beer
For the parade.
This is not what I thought
you meant we were doing
When I offered to hang out
with you guys tonight.
I thought we'd do
something, you know, fun...
With me.
I don't even like
drinking.
Yeah, but you're
the one with a car.
Shut up.
Quit laughing.
Seriously.
[Siren]
[Indistinct
radio transmissions]
What do you want?
Didn't recognize the car?
I got half
a dozen calls
Saying shotgun
blasts were heard
In front
of our house, pop.
Is that so?
Cut the crap.
Where are you going?
I'm going to the brewery.
Why?
Give me the g*n.
I got a lot more g*ns.
I know you do.
Where do you think you got them?
What are you
sh**ting at?
I didn't get
a good look at it.
No? Really?
Well, I did.
What's a leprechaun
doing in my town, pop?
[Sighs]
Karen picked
the red clover
And released it
accidentally.
Now she's cursed.
What do you mean
she's been cursed?
Give me the g*n back.
I'll get it.
She's got two days.
All we have to do
Is get it and get it
buried by then,
And she'll be ok.
All right. Well,
that's all well and good, all right?
But there's
protocol, pop.
I've got to call
for backup here.
I got your backup.
You're in this
alone, conor.
What are you
gonna tell your men?
That you're a lepre-cop,
hunting leprechauns?
You'll be the town joke,
just like me.
Face it, pal.
You're in this alone...
With your dad.
Yeah? Well... Fine.
All right?
But we're taking
my car.
Step away from
the... Vehicle.
Hey. Check this out.
He's called
the green man.
Green man?
Yeah. He's
an earth creature.
You know, a lot of these
creatures from irish folklore,
They have... They have
different names,
But they're
essentially the same.
Wait. Look at this.
You see where
they s*ab him?
Look at this.
See how he heals up?
But wait.
Check this out.
Here.
Look familiar?
We're gonna need
that fourth horseshoe.
[Sighs]
Oh, nice.
And you didn't
believe us.
Nope. Just didn't care.
Seen beer before.
Have fun, losers.
Dude,
check this out.
Did you see
those gold flecks?
Yeah, it's awesome.
That is crazy.
[Growling]
Aah!
[Screaming stops]
Aah!
Hey! Rick! Rick! Rick!
What are you doing?
What happened?
Rick!
[Screaming and choking]
[Growling]
[Door rattling]
Aah!
Why are we going
to the brewery?
To get the third
horseshoe.
Where'd
the leprechaun go?
I don't know.
What does it want?
I have no idea
what it wants.
Well, how
do you stop it?
You should be ashamed
of yourself, conor.
Ashamed of myself?
For what?
For not knowing
your family history.
Up until yesterday,
when I came
Face to face with
the damned thing,
I thought all this
leprechaun stuff
Was a bunch
of malarkey, ok?
But now I'm with
the program here, pop,
And you are not
telling me anything.
So tell me,
how do we k*ll it?
You can't k*ll
fairy folk, son.
They're immortal.
Ha ha ha.
They're immortal.
Yeah. Don't be
a wise ass.
How do we get rid
of this thing?
First we find
the 4 horseshoes.
Ok.
And we put them
together
In some kind of ancient
configuration,
And it's supposed to
stun the leprechaun.
I don't know.
Karen and
what's-his-face
Are looking it up
on the internet.
It's not like I do this
every day, conor.
You ok?
You mean other than
the ancient death curse
And having to fight
a nature demon
When I don't know what
I'm supposed to be doing,
Or you mean
having a father
Who's completely oblivious
to my blossoming womanhood
And trying to stifle
my personal growth
Because he can't let go,
or maybe because my pops,
The town drunk who believes
in goblins and fairies,
Has actually turned out
to be the one
Who's completely right
this entire time?
Life's a bitch, huh?
Sorry.
No. I'm sorry.
It was a dumb question.
No, it wasn't.
It's just...
Who gets haunted
by a leprechaun?
What is that?
It's the stupidest thing
I've ever heard of,
And it's happening
to me.
It's like I'm
trapped in some
Bad monster movie
and can't get out.
And to top it off,
this thing's
Probably just gonna
k*ll me anyway.
Hey, it's not
gonna k*ll you.
If this was
a bad monster movie,
It would k*ll
everybody but you.
Small consolation.
You know, when
somebody gets you down,
It takes 42 muscles
to frown,
But it only takes
two muscles
If you reach out
and pimp-slap them.
Are you suggesting
that i...
Pimp-slap
the leprechaun?
Yes.
Yes, I am.
But you don't
have to do it alone,
Because I'm
gonna be there
To pimp-slap
the leprechaun with you.
It'll be like a double
pimp-slap kind of deal,
Like a... Ba!
Ok. I'm done
talking. You talk.
You're better
at it than me.
You and I make
a pretty good team.
Yeah?
You think so?
Yeah.
Wood.
What?
I mean... Ha ha.
I mean a branch, a staff.
A branch staff
for the horseshoes,
For the pimp-slap.
And kissing me
made you think of that?
No.
Pop: give me
that hammer.
Hey, remember
when you were 8,
We went leprechaun
hunting?
How could I forget?
I broke my arm that year.
You survived.
Now you wonder
why I don't want you
Taking karen
hunting.
She's more capable
than you think.
And she's a lot less
capable than you think, pop.
You know, I was
disappointed
We never found
a leprechaun.
[Low growling]
Well, merry
christmas, son.
There's one now.
[Cocks p*stol]
[Water running]
O'hara, radio.
Get a 1031
to silver shamrock brewery.
We need backup units
and e.m.s.
This is not good.
[Thud]
There's another one.
Unbelievable.
Look at that thing.
[Growling]
What's that?
It's bait.
Look at him move.
It's eating it.
[Crunching]
[3 g*nshots]
[Screeching]
[Girl screams]
Dad!
What are you doing?
[Girl crying softly]
Hello.
You all right?
Amanda?
Sheriff o'hara, honey.
It's karen's dad.
Sweetie, it's...
Aah!
Jen: all right.
Get out of here.
Get home safe.
The girl's
not doing good,
Keeps saying
it was a monster.
What the hell
did you see in there?
A leprechaun.
Lock it up for me,
would you? Just...
It's long gone, son.
So how did you know that
sucker back there ate gold?
Well, I'm
an o'hara, pop.
I'm smart like that.
[Door opens]
The book says
that the staff
Has to be made
out of oak,
So this should work...
What?
Hey, you're gonna
be all right. Ok?
You're not alone.
Conor: he's right.
You're not alone.
How are we gonna
catch this thing?
There's only one person
I can think of who can help.
Who?
Who do you think?
Conor: all right. So what
do we know about this thing?
Well, if we had
the fourth horseshoe,
We could use that
4-leaf cleaver
Long enough to
bag it and bury it.
Otherwise,
not so much.
Well, we're as ready
as we can be.
Don't fear the wind if your
haystacks are tied down.
Wait. What
did you just say?
We're as ready
as we can be.
No, no.
The other thing.
Don't fear the wind if your
haystacks are tied down?
I know where
the fourth horseshoe is.
Ok. You look
beautiful.
Hey. You know
you don't have to do this.
Everyone
would understand.
I know, but I think
I need it,
And the town
needs it.
Amanda.
Hey, mom, do you still
have that horseshoe?
I think I could use
some, you know,
Family luck.
Thanks, mom.
Bye, mom.
I love you, honey.
Aah!
[Crunching]
[Growling]
What's this?
I don't know.
What are you doing here?
I just called it in.
What are you
talking about?
It's mrs. Mchenry.
Dad.
The parade.
[Cheering and applause]
[Marching band playing]
Out of the way.
Aah!
Uh!
Ah...
Jen!
[Urinating]
[Zip]
Hmm?
[Growling]
Get out of here! Aah!
[Crunching]
You all right?
Fine.
Is that thing dead?
Are you all right?
- It's stunned.
- Fine. I'm fine.
How's the kid?
What's-his-face
is dead.
What's-his-face?
He's dead?
Pop!
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
That's not
a souvenir!
See ya!
He's taking it
to keening woods.
What?
That's where
you bury monsters.
Fatality behind malone's market
in the alley.
The... Animal
has been captured.
It's being transported
in a 1967 green mustang.
Proceed with caution.
Out of... What are you...
No. Let's go.
No let's go. Out.
You're weak. You're tired.
Honey, you got a cut.
You probably need stitches.
I am fine. I do not need
stitches. Let's go.
No. What kind of father
do you think I am?
Get out of the car.
You always think pop is,
like, crazy and dangerous,
But you know what?
He let me sh**t a g*n
when I was 10.
He let me climb monroe rock
without a rope when I was 11.
When I was 12,
I was driving his truck.
And you know that boar he tells
everybody he took down? Bessie?
That was me.
He said
he did that.
Yeah. Well, he was
afraid you'd be worried.
I... I...
Look... Pop taught me
how to be strong.
You taught me
how to be smart.
Dad, please.
"Dad." Put on
your seatbelt.
Wait, karen.
Before we go
out there,
I just want you
to know that...
You've demonstrated
incredible moral fiber
And great courage,
And I'm proud
of you.
I know I've treated
you like a little girl,
And I've been way
too overprotective
Since we lost
your mother.
I just want you
to know that...
You'll always
be my baby,
But you are
no little girl.
Tell me what
happened to her.
To mom.
You said it yourself...
I'm not a little
girl anymore.
What happened
to her?
You were very young.
It was black friday,
The busiest shopping
day of the year.
And, um... We left
you with pop
So your mother and I
could buy you
A game console
below retail cost.
It was an...
An incredible value.
Dad, what happened
to her?
Honey, there were just so many
people, all right? I was...
Fighting a woman
and her son
For the last unit,
and...
The crowd surged,
And I lost her.
You what?
I couldn't find her.
I went to
the lost-and-found,
And there was
nothing.
I... I paged her
every day
For a year.
What good am i?
I am a...
I'm a terrible
husband.
I'm a real awful
father,
And I am a really
bad sheriff.
I mean, the whole
town is dead,
And I can't even
find my wife,
Let alone catch
a leprechaun, and...
A letter from my
nametag is missing.
And who's coner?
I'm conor. How does
that happen?
I don't know, dad.
If anyone should be
dead out there right now...
Dad! No! Dad!
Dad!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I should have waited
for you two.
Where's
your old man?
He's gone.
He's gone.
You need to come
with me, ok?
I'm not going
anywhere.
You need to save your
ass from that leprechaun.
That old gold refinery
is right down the road.
You got to get him
before he...
Gets there
and heals himself.
You've got to
come with me.
I'm not
leaving you here.
I'm not going
anywhere. Here.
Take this.
It's good luck...
Most of the time.
I can't take this.
Pop, I can't
take this from you.
Pop.
Go on.
Pop.
Pop.
[Starts engine]
[Thud]
[Growls]
Hey, leppy.
[Cocks shotgun]
Happy st. Patrick's day.
[Growls]
[Shrieks]
Nice.
♪ I'll tell you a story
that happened to me ♪
♪ One day as I went down
to cort by the sea ♪
♪ The sun was hot,
and the day was warm ♪
♪ Says, "aye, a fine pint
wouldn't do me no harm" ♪
♪ I went and I called for
a bottle of stout ♪
♪ Said the barman ♪
♪ "I'm sorry,
all the beer is sold out" ♪
♪ "Try whiskey from paddy,
10 years in the wood" ♪
♪ Says i, "I'll try your cider,
I've heard it was good" ♪
♪ Oh, never, oh, never,
oh, never again ♪
♪ If I live to be a hundred
or a hundred and ten ♪
♪ I fell to the ground,
and I couldn't get up ♪
♪ After drinking three pints
of the johnny jump up ♪
♪ Johnny jump up, oh ♪
♪ Oh-oh, oh ♪
♪ Johnny jump up, baby,
johnny jump up ♪
♪ After downing the third,
I went out to the yard ♪
♪ Where I bumped into brodie,
the big civic guard ♪
♪ "Come here to me, girl,
don't you know I'm the law?" ♪
♪ Then I hit him with me fist,
and I shattered his jaw ♪
♪ He fell to the ground
with his knees doubled up ♪
♪ But it wasn't I who hit him,
'twas johnny jump up ♪
♪ The next thing I remember,
down in cort by the sea ♪
♪ Was a cr*pple on crutches,
and he said to me ♪
♪ "In the bright of me life,
I've been hit by a car" ♪
♪ "Won't you help me? I'm lost
in the county not far" ♪
♪ I could tell in the court
of that silence so sweet ♪
♪ He threw down his crutches
and danced to his feet ♪
♪ Oh, never, oh, never,
oh, never again ♪
♪ If I live to be a hundred
or a hundred and ten ♪
♪ I fell to the ground,
and I couldn't get up ♪
♪ After drinking three pints
of the johnny jump up ♪
♪ Johnny jump up, oh ♪
♪ Oh-oh, oh ♪
♪ Johnny jump up, baby,
johnny jump up, man ♪
♪ Oh-oh, oh ♪
♪ I willfully rode,
a friend for to see ♪
♪ They call it the madhouse
in cort by the sea ♪
♪ But when I got there,
sure the truth I will tell ♪
♪ They had this poor bugger
locked up in a cell ♪
♪ Said the guard trusting him,
"say these words if you can" ♪
♪ "A rocker rocking rocker
rocking rascal rhyme" ♪
♪ "Tell him I'm not crazy,
tell him I'm not mad" ♪
♪ "It was only a sip
of that bottle I had" ♪
♪ Well, a man d*ed in the mines
by the name of mcnabb ♪
♪ They washed him and laid him
outside on a slab ♪
♪ And after the parlor's
measurements they did take ♪
♪ His wife brought him home
to a bloody fine wake ♪
♪ 'Twas about twelve o'clock
and the beer was high ♪
♪ The corpse sits up
and says with a sigh ♪
♪ "I can't get to heaven,
they won't let me up" ♪
♪ "Till I bring them a bottle
of johnny jump up!" ♪
♪ Oh, never, oh, never,
oh, never again ♪
♪ If I live to be a hundred
or a hundred and ten ♪
♪ I fell to the ground,
and I couldn't get up ♪
♪ After drinking three pints
of the johnny jump up ♪
♪ Johnny jump up, oh ♪
♪ Oh-oh, oh ♪
♪ Johnny jump up,
johnny jump up, oh ♪
♪ Oh-oh, oh ♪
♪ Johnny jump up,
johnny jump up, oh ♪
♪ Oh-oh, oh ♪
♪ Johnny jump up, baby,
johnny jump up, man ♪
♪ Oh-oh, oh ♪
Red Clover (2012)
Moderator: Maskath3