01x07 - The Day That Was

[bunniefuu]

- [baby crying]
- [monitor beeping]

[narrator] On the seventh hour
of the first day of October, ,

- a woman went into labor.
- ["One" playing]

- ♪ One is the loneliest number ♪
- [hushes]

♪ That you'll ever do ♪

- Mr. Jenkins, meet your son.
- [sighs]

[narrator] This was unusual
in no way whatsoever.

The culmination
of a normal, average pregnancy.

Harold.

[narrator] The child was average
in every way.

Unfortunately for the world,

- the circumstances of his raising...
- [high-pitched beeps]

...were anything but.

- ♪ One is the loneliest number ♪
- [nurse] Code!

- Get a crash cart in here now!
- [nurse ] BP over , she's coding.

[nurse] Clear!

[paddles buzz]

[boy] Help, Harold. Help us.

- Worry not, Umbrella Academy.
- ♪ It's just no good anymore ♪

♪ Since you went away ♪

I'll save you from
the evil Doctor Terminal.

♪ Now I spend my time ♪

- ♪ Just making rhymes of yesterday ♪
- Bang! Bang!

[father] Harold,
put away those stupid dolls...

- and get me a beer.
- ♪ One is the loneliest number ♪

♪ One is the loneliest number ♪

- ♪ That you'll ever do ♪
- And hurry up about it!

♪ One is the loneliest ♪

♪ One is the loneliest ♪

[father] Hurry up!

♪ One is the loneliest number ♪

♪ That you'll ever do ♪

♪ One is the loneliest number ♪

♪ That you'll ever do ♪

♪ Number ♪

♪ One is the loneliest number ♪

♪ That you'll ever do ♪

- [band playing]
- [crowd cheering]

[woman] They're coming!
I think I see their car!

[cheering and applause]

[man] I see them! I see the car!

[woman] Spaceboy! My favorite!

- What?
- Excuse me. I'm your biggest fan.

Hey, hey.
You're not supposed to be in here.

Get back behind the barricade!

[Harold] It's just...

I was born on the same day
as the Academy kids.

I think I'm like them. I must be.

I haven't quite figured out
what my power is... yet.

But maybe with your help,
we can find out.

You have no power.

You never will have power.

Now, go home.

No, please. Just... I...

You have to let me stay.
I came all this way.

Please don't make me go back.

A little word of advice, my boy.

Not everyone
in this world can be powerful.

Chasing something unattainable

is a recipe for a lifetime
of disappointment and resentment.

So get off my property.

[crowd laughing]

[crowd cheering]

[father] Harold!

Get your ass down here.

[running footsteps approaching]

What's that sh*t on your face?

- [slap]
- [Harold gasps]

Make yourself useful
and go get me another beer.

[sighs]

Hurry up!

[hammer clanging]

[bars rattling]

[door slams]

[man] Jenkins, Harold.

[indistinct announcement on PA]

[man shouting]

- [buzzer sounds]
- [door unlocks]

[buzzer sounds]

[gate creaks]

[Klaus] Yeah...

Come on, baby.

Money, money, money, money, money...

[muttering]

Come on, come on!

[groans]

[footsteps fading]

- Harold Jenkins?
- Who the hell is Harold Jenkins?

I don't know... yet.

[Five] But I do know that he's responsible
for the apocalypse.

So we have to find him.

And we have to do it now.

[Luther] How is he connected
to what's gonna happen?

- [Five] I don't know.
- Wait, so you just know his name?

That's it?

- [Five] That's enough.
- There's probably dozens of Jenkinses.

[Five]
Well, we just better start looking, then.

- [thunder rumbling]
- [Vanya] No, it's my fault.

I just wanted them

- to be proud of me for once.
- [metal clanging]

I mean, how... how could I even presume
to be worthy of their attention?

Nothing's ever big enough
next to their holier-than-thou,

- weight-of-the-world bullshit.
- [metal groans]

- Vanya!
- What?

What the hell is happening?

You happened.

I'm sorry.
Am I the only one that's skeptical here?

I mean, how exactly do you know
all of this about what's his name?

Harold Jenkins. You know those lunatics
in masks who att*cked the house?

Oh, yeah, I think I remember those guys.

Yeah, the ones that att*cked us
while you were getting drunk.

[Five] Yeah. Them.

They were sent by the Temps Commission
to stop me from coming back

- and preventing the end of life on Earth.
- The Temps what?

My former employer.
They monitor all of time and space

to make sure that whatever
is supposed to happen... happens.

They believe the apocalypse is coming
in three days.

So I went to Commission headquarters
and intercepted a message

that was meant for said lunatics.

"Protect Harold Jenkins."

So he must be responsible
for the apocalypse.

- What do you mean, protect time and space?
- Where is this Hazel, Five?

- My skin is on fire.
- [Allison] Do you have any idea

- how insane this sounds?
- You know what else is insane?

I look like a -year-old boy.

Klaus talks to the dead, and Luther thinks
he's fooling everybody with that overcoat.

Everything about us is insane.
It always has been.

He's got a point there.

We didn't choose this life,
we're just living it.

For the next three days, anyway.

But the last time we tried to stop it,
we all d*ed.

Why is this time any different?
Why shouldn't I go home to my daughter?

Because this time, I'm here.
We have the name of the man responsible.

Guys, we actually have the chance
of saving the lives of billions of people.

Including Claire.

You know her name?

I do, and I'd like to live long enough
to meet her.

All right.

Let's get this bastard.

You had me at Gerald Jenkins.

Harold Jenkins.

Whatever. I've already lost two people
this week, I'm not losing anyone else.

And Luther?

[Luther] Yeah, you go. I'm gonna stay
and go through Dad's files.

I still think this has something to do
with why he sent me to the Moon.

Seriously? Now you wanna make
the end of the world about you and Dad?

No. "Watch for threats."
That's what he told me.

You think that's a coincidence?
This all has to be connected somehow.

- No, we should all stick together.
- We don't have time for this.

Let's roll. I know where we can find
this assh*le. Klaus, you're with me.

Yeah. I... I'm good.

I think I'll, uh...

I think I'll pass, I'm...

feeling a little under the weather,
so, uh...

[groans]

[pneumatic tube whooshing]

[snorts]

"Contract to k*ll Number Five terminated.
Await further instruction."

Obviously, Number Five cleared things up
with the Commission.

You think they let that little sh*t off
so easy?

It doesn't make any sense!

Sure it does. He's a legend.

And what are we? Chopped liver?

Whatever, whatever.

I need a hit of sucrose.

- I'm headin' to the vending machine.
- Fine.

Fine. Fine.

[whispers] Oh, my God.

[whooshing]

[Hazel] Damn it.

"Terminate Cha-Cha
for immediate extraction."

I know this Jenkins dude
has to have a record.

We gotta get our hands on this file.

And your plan is to what?
Waltz in there and just ask for it?

I know the station
like the back of my hand, sis.

I've spent a lot of time inside.

Handcuffed.

- Whatever. Here's the plan.
- Plan?

I'm just gonna blink in and get the file.

No, that's not...

You don't know the ins and outs
of this place, okay?

I literally just did this yesterday.

What?

My yesterday, not your yesterday.

It'll take me two seconds.

- Why don't I just go?
- Listen to me. You are not going in there.

I made a call.

That's what a leader does.

He leads.

- [Diego] Beeman.
- Jesus Christ.

- You shouldn't be here.
- I need to look at a file.

Guy named Harold Jenkins.

No, you need to leave town.
I shouldn't be telling you this,

but they're looking at you for her m*rder.

You can't be serious.

Your prints were all over the crime scene.
You two had a lot of heated arguments.

It doesn't look good,
that's all I'm saying.

- Unbelievable.
- The only reason I'm telling you this

is 'cause I know
you and her used to be close.

Personally,
I think you're a real pain in the ass.

I also know
you'd never do anything like that.

Just do me a favor
and just stay out of sight,

until I have more to go on.

[Diego] I will.

I just... [sighs]

I can't leave without that file.

You understand I could lose my job, right?

That file, it won't...

bring Patch back,

but it could save some lives.

I can't explain to you how, I...

I just need you to trust me.

[on voicemail] This is Vanya.

- Leave a message, I'll get back to you.
- [phone beeps]

Hey, Vanya, it's me.

I just wanted to...

Things have gotten so messed up.

And... all I ever wanted was
to be a good sister to you.

Guess I pretty much failed at that.

But you need to call me. Okay?

I love you, sis.

- [receiver clicks]
- [Five] So?

[Diego] You're welcome.

- Holy sh*t.
- What?

Harold Jenkins is Leonard Peabody.

[Luther] He never even looked at them.

Why would he...?

Why not? [gasps]

[yells] Why not?

[Klaus] Luther!

Luther, you need to tie me up so I can...

Are you drinking?

Holy sh... [laughing]

Holy sh*t, you're drunk.

And you busted into Dad's liquor cabinet.
He's gonna be so pissed.

Get him.

[sighs] Dad. Do it, now.

I told you already, all right?
I... I can't!

- [gasps]
- Little sh*t!

[groans]

[choking] Please... I... [groans]

[coughing]

Jesus Christ.

Luther!

Of course I tried!

All right? God knows, I've tried,
but he is as he was in life,

he's a stubborn prick!

He needs to answer to me for what he did.

For sending me up there.

I sacrificed everything for him,
my entire life.

I never left this house.

I never had friends.

And for what?

For nothing.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Hey, just... just...

[sighs]

Just relax, okay? Just... Just relax.

I... I could try again.

I mean, I can't promise I'm clean enough.
But just...

Hey, come on. Hey, hey, hey, come on.

That's... That's enough of that.
Enough of that. Come on.

Come on, come on.

Chin up there, big guy.

It's okay. Just go.

Why... Why don't we find the others?
I'm sure Allison could help.

I don't want her.

I don't want them to see me like this.

Besides, I...
You know, I'd just hold them back.

What they're doing is too important.

What are you talking about?

You're our Number One, remember?

"O Captain! My Captain!"

[chuckles]

- Remember?
- [both laugh]

Yeah, right?

[sobs]

- Luther.
- [Luther] You know, Diego was right.

Dad sent me up to the Moon...

because he couldn't stand
the sight of this.

[sighs deeply]

Of what...

Of what he did to me.

Of what I've become.

No, no, no. That's... That's not...

It...

Damn it, Dad was such an assh*le
right to the end.

[sighs] You know, if...

if there's anything else...

that I can do, or...

I wanna be like you.

- I wanna do whatever it is that you...
- No, no, no no.

- Yeah. I do. Yeah.
- You don't. No. Absolutely not.

Come on, Klaus. 'Cause you... you always
seem so carefree, and I just need it. I...

- I wanna be Number Four.
- Trust me. Trust me.

- You don't want that.
- I do...

You don't want that.

What you need is just...
just lay down, sleep it off.

You'll feel better in the morning. Okay?

Fine, I'll go by myself.

What? No.

No, no, no, Luther!

Luther, I can't let you...

- [yells]
- [squeaks]

- [door opens]
- [groans]

- Oh, sh*t.
- [door slams]

[motor sputtering]

[Hazel] Would it really be so bad

if we didn't find the briefcase?

[Cha-Cha] You know what happens
to people who step out of line.

[Hazel] I guess I'm just tired of all this
being told what to do, where to go.

Wouldn't it be nice to k*ll who you want
for a change?

Not who the Commission tells us to?

Sure are in the middle of nowhere.

- What are you doing?
- [g*n clicking]

Just tying my shoe.

[Cha-Cha]
Our only choice is to do what they say.

One way or another, they always get you.

You're right. I know you're right.

Doesn't change I feel like we ought
to do somethin' that matters.

[Cha-Cha] What we do matters.

[Hazel] I mean, to us.

Not to some assh*le executives
in polyester suits.

You and I've been doin' what they say
so long,

I don't even know what I think anymore.

[bird calling]

[Hazel] You hear that? Listen?

- That's a pileated woodpecker.
- [woodpecker drilling]

Yeah. If there's one, I bet there's two.

They mate for life.

The male will bring his partner food
to show he can provide,

some cedar bug or critter.

It's all part of the mating ritual.

Look at him.

When he's hungry, he eats,
when he's tired, he nests,

when he's horny, he screws,
free to be free.

Pretty sure they got it figured out.

- [Cha-Cha] And what's that?
- A simple life with a partner.

Sometimes what you want's
right in front of you.

By the time you realize it, it's too late.

- Home, sweet home.
- [Cha-Cha] Yep.

[Hazel] Hey, um...

you hungry?

[Cha-Cha] I could eat.

[tires screech]

[horn beeps]

[gasps] Hi!

Hey.

[giggles]

[Allison] Be careful, okay?
We don't know what Peabody's capable of.

[Diego] Yeah, he didn't seem dangerous
when I first saw him.

Looked kinda scrawny.

Yeah, well, so are most serial K*llers
and mass murderers.

- I mean, look at him.
- Thanks.

[Diego] Good point.
So what's this guy want with Vanya?

I don't know.
How about we ask him after we k*ll him?

Whoa, whoa.
Hey, look, I'm gonna burst through...

You know what? It would be nice for people
just to stick to...

the plan.

Great.

Ah! [grunts]

[groans]

[inhales sharply]

- Subtle.
- [Diego groans]

You know, the door was unlocked.

Yeah, well, my way works just fine.

Spread out.

Yell if you, uh...
you know, you're in trouble. [sighs]

Ah, inspiring leadership.

One of the greats.

[Allison] Guys, you need to see this.

[Allison] All our faces are burnt off.

[Diego] Well, that's not creepy.

This guy's got some serious issues.

[both] sh*t.

- This was never about Vanya.
- [Five gasping]

This was about us.

- [sighs]
- [thumps]

- [Allison] Five. Wh...
- [groaning]

Wh... Blood.

[sighs]

[Diego] Jesus, Five.

Why didn't you say anything?

You have to keep going.

So... close.

Five.

Five!

Oh. Wow.

This place is so nice.

Whose is it, again?

This is Grandma's place.
Lots of pinched cheeks, right...

- here.
- [both chuckle]

You okay?

You spend your whole life trying to forget
about the crap you went through as a kid.

You know?

And then, the second you step back in,
you feel just as insignificant.

Yeah, I know.

You know, we don't have to stay here.
We can just...

- get a shitty motel or something.
- No.

It's perfect for what we need to do.

Which is what, exactly?

We need to find out
what you're truly capable of.

Oh, my God.

Remember what you said
the day we met? Practice makes perfect.

Yeah, this is a little different
than chord progressions.

I mean, if I do...

Look, I can't even say it.
I can't wrap my head around it. There's...

Vanya.

You've spent your entire life feeling
less than your brothers and sisters,

only to discover you've had this in you
the entire time.

You owe it to yourself
to discover what that really means.

Okay?

Clear your mind.

Focus.

Where better to do that than here?

[birds singing]

[wind chimes clinking]

[wind rustling leaves]

I'm leaving.

I want you to come with me.

Where?

Anywhere. It doesn't matter to me.

[birds singing]

Let's just fly away, like those warblers.

Is everything okay?

Sure, everything's swell.

No, it isn't.

Customer service, years.
You... You learn a thing or two. [sighs]

- It's just work.
- [Agnes] Oh.

It's a new assignment.

Corporate.

We're supposed to follow orders,
no questions asked, but...

- [Agnes] But what?
- I don't want to.

- [Agnes] Oh.
- Not anymore.

I'm done playin' their games.
I'm ready for a change.

I think you are, too.

Okay.

Really?

Yes, really.

I mean, it... it's like what you said.

"Life is short,
and if you wanna do something,

you just gotta... go for it."

You have no idea, uh...

- how happy that makes me. [crying]
- Sure. Sure, I do.

How did your partner take it?

Oh...

Oh, I haven't told her.

In the years we worked together,
she's never taken a sick day.

Her job's her life.
I wouldn't know where to start.

I mean,
it wouldn't be right to just disappear.

Okay, I'll try.

- You better be packed and ready...
- Okay.

...when I come to get you.
We leave in the middle of the night.

- Two stowaways.
- [laughs] Okay.

Assuming you still wanna do it.

- I understand...
- Hazel.

Yeah?

I've never been more sure of anything
in my life.

Okay.

[Agnes chuckles]

Okay, I just...

- [clears throat]
- Sorry.

[Agnes laughing] Okay.

Bye.

- [gasps] Bye.
- [chuckles]

- [grunts]
- [door closes]

[Ben] You can do this, Klaus.
Luther needs you.

[Klaus sighs]

[groans]

I just...

Oh, I just...

Ugh. This is... this is pointless. I...

Aah, I'm goin' home. I...
I have to go home. I'm so dope sick.

[chuckles]

You know I could just walk through you,
right?

I'm well aware.

[Klaus] Ta-da!

- But you need to keep trying.
- [sighs]

Help Luther.

He could be anywhere right now,
doing God knows what.

You know what?
This is probably a good thing.

The big guy needs a life, and tonight
he's out experiencing the real world!

- He's not ready for it.
- Well, who is? Was I? Were you?

I... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I know you weren't ready
to die violently at a young age.

Oh, sobriety isn't easy.

What? Why are you looking at me like that?

It's not my responsibility. I...
I didn't sign up to save you or him.

You're right. You didn't.

But if you were in trouble,
there is nothing in this world

Luther wouldn't do
to save your scrawny little junkie ass.

[sighs]

[muttering[ Damn it...

We should have taken him to the hospital.

[Diego] A kid with a shrapnel wound
might raise some questions.

Yeah, well, so does the m*rder shrine
in Harold Jenkins' attic.

[groans]

- He's still losing blood. What do we do?
- We gotta get the shrapnel out.

- Diego, where are you going?
- [Diego] Mom?

Oh, hello, Diego, dear.

What...

How are you still... walking around?

One foot in front of the other.

Why? How do you do it?

[Klaus] We've been to seven bars,
three strip joints, and a laundromat.

Luther's not here. Can we go home now?

Would he give up on you?

- [women laughing]
- [Klaus] Uh...

[woman] That's the biggest hairy guy
I have ever seen.

[women giggling]

[techno music playing]

[Klaus groans]

[groans]

God, this is t*rture.

I can't hear you!

[sighs]

[Klaus and Ben] Holy sh*t.

Do you think he knows?

- I don't think he cares.
- Come on.

[man] Whoo-hoo!

Luther!

Luther!

Brother!

[Klaus] Ow!

[grunts]

- [coughs]
- Isn't this amazing?

Yeah. We need to get you home. Come on.

[Luther] Home? This is my home now.

[man] Where are you going? Come back.

[woman] Relax, I just wanna say hi.

Huge fan of the furries.

- See?
- Yeah.

[man] Whoo-hoo!

Have you ever tried one of these?

- Yeah.
- I've never felt so alive.

But I'm so thirsty.

Yeah.

Wha...

- Why'd you do that?
- I have no idea.

[woman] Whoo-hoo!

[Ben] Come on, Klaus. You can do this.
Stay strong. Don't give into temptation.

[music pounding]

[yelling] No!

[distorted cheering]

[rumbling]

- [screaming]
- No!

[screaming]

[gasping]

[screeching]

[whimpering]

[echoing footsteps]

[man] Go, go, go!

- [siren blaring]
- [bombs whistling]

[Klaus] We need a medic here!

- Dave!
- [g*nf*re]

[Dave screaming]

[screaming]

[helicopter blades whirring]

[sobbing]

[insects chirping]

Anything?

There's no answer at Vanya's place.

And the receptionist at her music school

said she was a no-show
for her lessons today.

Hey, you okay?

Yeah.

I don't know,
it's just surreal seeing her.

I just wanna tell her that I'm s...

- We don't have enough time. We gotta go.
- I don't know, Diego.

Five is laying there, unconscious.
We need him.

- We can do this ourselves.
- We did that already, remember?

We all ended up dead.

I don't know. I'm just...

I'm thinking I should go
and see Claire before...

[Diego]
You can't run away from this, Allison.

That's what started this whole mess
in the first place.

- [sighs]
- Luther was right.

[scoffs] I didn't think
I would ever hear you say those words.

Yeah, well...

we gotta stick together.

Where do we start?

There's no other addresses in the file,
but there is another relation listed.

Jenkins' grandmother.

She lived near Jackpine Road.

- You think he took her there?
- It's a good enough place to start.

Nope. Come on, this way.

- Wait, but the car is back that way.
- Trust me, okay? Come on.

But what is going on?

They're here for me. Uh...

- They think I did something.
- What do they think you did?

- [siren whoops]
- m*rder.

- Did you?
- No, no, no, of course not, okay?

Why would you ask that about me, anyway?

I mean, you do carry knives
with you everywhere.

Yeah, okay,
we're gonna have to split, okay?

- [sirens wailing]
- I'm in charge.

Remember? Vanya needs you.

Don't do anything stupid, okay?

[tires screech]

[man] Drop it.

w*apon on the ground, Diego.

Ah!

[clattering]

[Diego] I expected better from you, Chuck.

I got orders.
Don't make this harder than it already is.

- [handcuffs click]
- [sighs]

Diego Hargreeves, you're under arrest

on the suspicion
of m*rder of Detective Eudora Patch.

- Rodriguez, I thought we were friends.
- You k*lled a cop, assh*le.

[Chuck] You have the right
to remain silent. Anything you say

- can and will be used against you.
- [spits]

Use that against me.

[indistinct radio chatter]

[Vanya] Look, I ju...
I don't think I can do this.

[Leonard] I know you can.

Vanya, you've seen what people
with power can do.

They can stand up for those
who can't defend themselves.

Yeah, and at what cost?

I watched everything my brothers
and sister could do ruin their lives.

They're full of holier-than-thou bullshit.

Like you said.

That's what's ruined their lives.

And that's not gonna happen to you.

Okay?

Just try to move the boat.

[frogs croaking]

- [Vanya] Is anything happening?
- [Leonard] Keep trying.

[sighs] But I don't...

Think about how you want the boat to move.

[groans] Okay, but what?
Do I... Do I... do I stare really hard?

Am I supposed to point my fingers? Is...?

I don't know.
There's only one way to figure it out.

[insects chirping]

[giggles]

[laughing] I ca...

I can't. I can't.

- What's funny?
- What's...?

I look and I feel ridiculous.

I have no idea how they did this stuff
with a straight face. I...

It's because you're not used to it,
that's all.

If you kept trying, maybe you would...

- You are so invested in this.
- [scoffs]

I...

I'm just trying to help you, Vanya.

You can't just give up that easily.

[chuckles] I'm sorry.

Ah.

Maybe you're right.
I think we're both tired.

So...

why don't we go back
and relax a little bit, okay?

Yeah, that sounds nice.

And, uh...

later, maybe we can grab some dinner?

I know this great little spot in town.

Yeah.

Cha?

[pneumatic tube whooshes]

[Cha-Cha] One way or another,
they always get you.

[shower curtain rustles]

[shower running]

[g*n cocks]

[yells]

[music pounding]

[crowd cheering]

[Ben] Oh, sh*t, Luther.

Help him, Klaus.

[Klaus] Luther!

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[yells]

- [man] Get him off me, guys!
- Luther!

- [grunting]
- [Klaus] Luther!

- [Luther laughing]
- Luther, help! Ow!

[bell tolls]

[folk music playing]

[birds singing]

Hmm.

[sighs heavily]

Oh. Yoo-hoo!

Hello.

Almost didn't see you.

Keep on riding around here.

So pale and all.

- Hmm.
- They don't have any sun down there?

Down there?

- Where am I?
- Where do you think?

- I'm not sure. I'm agnostic, so...
- Doesn't really matter.

You can't stay here.

Why not?

To be blunt, I don't really like you
all that much.

Mm.

Yeah, me neither.

But wait a minute.
Aren't you supposed to love all of us?

[scoffs] Where'd you get that idea?

I need you so I can pick and choose.

- And you don't rub me the right way.
- Wait.

So you... you made us? You made me?

Well, I made everything else,
so I must've made you.

[laughs]

Why?

Do you have another idea?

Maybe. A couple.

I don't know.

Well, then, keep them to yourself.

Time is flying, so hurry up.

He's waiting for you.

Who is?

Dave.

[gasps]

Dave!

Dave!

- [shop bell rings]
- Dave?

- [man talking on radio]
- [sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

[sighs]

Oh.

Oh! Oh, yeah.

That feels so nice.

[Reginald] What in God's name
took you so long?

Dad.

I expected my son who can conjure the dead
to have brought me forth days ago.

Oh. Yeah, well, you see...

It's complicated.
You know, I... I tried. I...

[spits]

- ...did, but...
- You were poisoning yourself.

Well, what do you expect? You'd just d*ed.
I was beside myself with grief.

Don't you dare try to use me
as an excuse for your weakness.

Oh, right, well, yeah,
you had nothing to do with it.

Locking me in a mausoleum with corpses
when I was ?

No, you're right, it's irrelevant.

[sighs]

Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah. Careful, Dad.

Don't worry.

You're already dead.

Oh.

Well, that's a relief.

You children like to blame everything
on me.

Well, you were a sadistic prick.

Not to mention the world's worst father.

I just wanted you to live up
to your potential.

You especially.

You're my greatest disappointment,
Number Four.

You only scratched the surface
of what you were truly capable of.

- If only you'd focused.
- Wait, wait, wait. What... What potential?

No, instead, you pump yourself
full of poison because you're afraid.

- [sighs]
- Afraid of what? The dark?

You know, I suggest you get down off
your high horse there, dear Papa.

You never had our best interests at heart.
Look at your precious Number One.

Luther found all the unopened letters
he'd sent you.

He knows that you sent him up to the Moon
for nothing.

That was foolish of me.

I should have b*rned it all. [sighs]

[laughs] That's your takeaway?

Oh, wow. Yeah, course it is.

- Not an ideal solution, I confess.
- [sighs]

But I knew that the world
would soon need him, need all of you,

and I had to do what was necessary.

Is he okay?

Do you care?

Everything I did,

everything I put you through,

it was to prepare you, all of you,
for something bigger than yourselves.

You never understood that.

[sighs]

We were...

We were just kids.

Little kids.

You were never just kids.

You were meant to save the world.

[sighs] Wait, wait.

So you knew... knew all about this?
About the apocalypse?

I knew that I had to bring you all
back together, one way or another.

The fate of the world depended on it.

Wh... What? What are you saying?

The only way to get you all back together

was something...

momentous.

Wait.

You...

No.

You don't mean...

you k*lled yourself?

Mm.

[Klaus sighs] Oh, Christ,

you could never
do things the easy way, could you?

- You couldn't have picked up a phone?
- Would you have answered?

Now, listen to me, Number Four.

What I'm about to say
is of great importan...

- [echoing]
- [techno music playing]

No, no, no, no, no, no. no.

I can't...

No, I can't...

I can't go back. I can't go back!

[yells] No! Wait!

[gasps] Stay!

[music pounding]

[indistinct chatter]

- [sighs]
- Who do you think this guy is, anyway?

- [woman] I don't know...
- Luther.

Luther. Luther!

[man] Bouncers kicked him out.

[laughs] No, I know it wasn't much.
It... It's good, though.

- No, it was delicious.
- Yes.

- It was nice to have some downtime.
- [men laugh]

Fellas.

- [clears throat]
- [dog barking]

Good evening. [chuckles]

We're... We're heading out,
so if you don't mind...

I'm actually pretty comfortable.
You comfortable?

Oh, I'm just peachy, thanks for askin'.

[chuckles] You guys are funny.

Uh, I'm sure you can find another car
to drink your beer on.

[dog barking]

Ah...

- We like this one.
- [sighs]

But, if you want,

we'll trade you the car for the girl.

Okay. Get off the car and leave us alone.

No problem!

Hey. Don't touch her.

[laughs]

You gonna do somethin' about it,
sweetheart?

- Hey! No!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- [grunts]
- [Vanya] Leonard!

- Stop it!
- [thunder rumbles]

Leave him alone! Stop it!

[thunderclap]

No!

[man] Come on, you piece of sh*t!

Help!

Leonard!

Help!

Help!

Help!

[rattling and creaking]

Oh.

[groans]

Cha-Cha, I know this will be hard
for you to understand,

but I want out. I'm done.

I quit.

We've worked together
for a long, long time.

We're good at what we do.
We can k*ll anyone.

But when I got the order to k*ll you,
I knew I couldn't do this anymore.

I'd appreciate it if you would
accept my wishes, and...

we could go on our own separate ways.

[grunts softly]

Aren't you gonna say anything?

This world is ending,

and here you are,
only thinking about getting your d*ck wet.

[sighs] Man.

What? You think I ain't know about you
and your dried-up doughnut whore?

Hold on. Hold on. This isn't...

I'm... I'm in love.

Okay?

And I have no intention of letting it go.

You know what?
I don't need to justify my choices to you.

This is my life. Not yours.

You won't have a life in three days,
shitheel.

You and your whore will be dead,
just like everyone else.

So be sensible here.

We have a great job.

The best job.

We get to visit exotic places,
meet new people, and then k*ll 'em.

We got it made, assh*le. You just need
to wake up and smell the coffee.

We're gonna find the briefcase,
get it back to Commission,

and then go back to the way things were,
okay?

I don't wanna go back
to the way things were.

Three days left.

Well, I'd rather have three days left
with her than , with you,

you coldhearted bitch.

Okay, then sh**t me.

- What?
- sh**t me.

Because if you leave this room
and I'm still alive,

I'm comin' after you and your ugly slut.

And when I find you,
there'll be no speeches.

No last words. I'm just gonna k*ll you.

But first I'm gonna k*ll her,

in front of you, real slow.

So you can feel every ounce of her pain.

- [chuckles]
- [rattling]

["Exit Music (For a Film)"
by Radiohead playing]

- ♪ Wake ♪
- [sniffles]

- ♪ From your sleep ♪
- [sighs]

- ♪ The drying of ♪
- Do it!

- ♪ Your tears ♪
- [exhales sharply]

So long, partner.

- [chuckles]
- ♪ Today ♪

- Hazel.
- ♪ We escape ♪

Hazel, where the hell do you think
you're goin'? Hazel, get back here!

- ♪ We escape ♪
- Get back here! I know how to find you.

- [door opens]
- You're dead. Dead!

You and your ugly whore, you're dead!

- You're dead, Hazel! Dead!
- ♪ Pack ♪

♪ And get dressed ♪

[sobbing]

♪ Before ♪

♪ Your father hears us ♪

♪ Before ♪

♪ All hell ♪

♪ Breaks loose ♪

♪ And you can laugh ♪

♪ A spineless laugh ♪

♪ We hope your ♪

♪ Rules and ♪

♪ Wisdom ♪

♪ Choke you ♪

♪ Now ♪

♪ We are one ♪

♪ In everlasting ♪

♪ Peace ♪

♪ We hope ♪

♪ That you choke ♪

♪ That you choke ♪

♪ We hope ♪

♪ That you choke ♪

♪ That you choke ♪

♪ We hope ♪

♪ That you choke ♪

♪ That you choke ♪

[distorted voices]

[rock violin music playing]