01x05 - Taking Care of Business

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Good Girls". Aired: February 26, 2018 - July 22, 2021.*
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Sisters Beth and Annie and their best friend Ruby become fed up with playing by the rules and not getting the respect they deserve, they band together to take control of their lives.
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01x05 - Taking Care of Business

Post by bunniefuu »

- Previously on
"Good Girls"...

- Why does a grocery store
even have this kind of money?

- Because it's hella shady!

- Call your friends over
so we can have a little talk.

- He wants us to pick something
up for him in Canada.

It's just wrapping paper.

We have a business proposition
to clean your fake money.

- What are you proposing?
- Let us do it, right here.

Fake money in, real money out.

- [whispering]
What do you want?

You can't just walk in here.
- Door was open.

- Beth, who's your new friend?

Is he the reason
you're not wearing your ring?

- Oh, my God.
I want you out.

- What?
- Yeah, I want you gone now.

- I have cancer.

- Agent Turner, I saw this guy.

Okay, he was with
the three of them before,

And I saw him again yesterday.

Whatever they're into,
he is involved.

- Hi, I'm looking
for Mrs. Boland.

- Can I help you?
- I'm hoping you can.

- Cute kids.
- Aw, thanks, we like them.

Yeah, most of the time.

- And how's the
neighborhood treating you?

Pretty quiet, mostly, or?
- Is something going on?

- Oh, just some ugliness
bleeding in from the city.

We try to stay on top of it.
- Well, that sounds scary.

- Yeah, you guys
seen anything weird?

- Like what?

- You know, people that don't

quite go with the vibe here.

- Actually, I have.

That guy, the, um,
the--the guy.

Question, is it illegal
to throw dog poop

into other people's trash bins?

Because we have this guy
in the neighborhood, who, uh--

it's probably not
FBI jurisdiction.

- I'm guessing not.

- Those are
government bins, right?

So...
- [chuckles]

Let me know if you see
anything out of the ordinary.

- Copy that, we will
be your eyes and ears.

- Yes.
And thank you, Agent Turner.

- Jimmy.

- Yeah, I'll show you out.

So yeah, this guy,
he walks his dog,

and he's like a great Dane...
- Mm-hmm.

[dramatic music]



- We shouldn't do it.

- What do you mean
we shouldn't do it?

- I mean we shouldn't clean
a bunch of counterfeit money

when the FBI is on our trail.

- It was your idea!

- Can you all
keep it down please?

- Look, they're not
on our trail, okay?

- He was in my kitchen.
- Stan is in my bedroom.

- If the guy knew anything,
he would have just said it.

- He gave his card to me,
and not to Dean.

- Well, maybe he didn't know
if Dean could read.

Look, I got
fancy lawyer bills

coming out
the wazoo, dawg!

I talked to her for 15 minutes,
it cost me 800 dollars!

- You know how much
a criminal lawyer costs?

- I need this payday;
we didn't get the last one.

- We all need it.

But let's not
be stupid about it.

- What's stupid
is if we screw this up.

Because g*ng Friend is not
going to give us another sh*t.

- g*ng friend?

- Probably some
teenagers, like,

stole an Xbox
or something.

I promise you, it was nothing.
- It wasn't nothing!

It was the FBI.
- Okay, so it was two Xboxes.

- Freeze, ladies.
[all gasp]

- Huh?
- Whoa, hey.

Look at you.
- Huh? What's up, y'all.

- Hey.
- [laughs]

- First day as an
officer in training.

- Mm-hmm.
Now tell me,

would you pull over
if you saw all this

coming at you
in the rearview?

- Oh, I'd pay the
ticket on the spot.

- I mean, I'd run, but you'd
catch me in five seconds.

- Hear that?
Getting real now, huh?

- Oh yeah,
realer by the minute.

- What about sun block?
- Nancy has the spray kind.

- I guess if you can
afford to go to Hawaii,

you can afford the spray kind.

- Don't eat just
mac and cheese, okay?

- I know how to make at least
two to five other dishes.

- And set your alarm for work.

- I am a fully functioning
adult human.

- You're not good alone.
- I can take care of myself.

I mean, sometimes.

Okay, I love you,
I'm going to miss you.

Have the best time,
I promise I will not call

unless it's an emergency.

- Okay.
- Okay?

- All right.
- Okay, hey, love ya.

- Love ya.

both: Never put
no one above ya!

- Miss you, miss you, bye.
- Miss you, okay.

[soft music]



- Well, am-scray, I'm like,
dying for some alone time.

- I love you so much, Mom.
- I love you, baby.

[kissing noises]

- Bye!
- Bye!

[higher pitches]
- Bye!

- Bye!

[groans]

[sighs]

- All right,
what if I just mark you down

for like clean up or something?

- I'd really love to, I just
don't have any time right now.

- Oh, my God,
what happened to your car?

- Oh, got Kenny a BB g*n.

- When did we
start this service?

Anyway, think about it, B.
I'll call you.

- Okay.

What do you want?

[funky music]



- Careful with those snacks.

I don't want to spend my
weekend cleaning up this car.

- Yeah, I'm not sure
I see the problem.

- You and me both, brother.
- Annie.

- [scoffs]

I just would like
to take this moment

to personally thank you
for this opportunity.

I promise you,
we're going to iron this out.

We're going to make you proud.
- Okay, hold up, Annie.

- Y'all asked
for a piece of this.

- Yes, we did, sir.
That's true.

- That was before
the FBI dropped by.

- Okay, let's just
calm down, sorry.

She just kind of does this,
it's all part of the process.

- What is that
supposed to mean?

- Hmm, I don't know, you
begged our parents for a piano,

and they dropped
three grand on a baby upright.

And guess who decides
she'd rather play violin?

- I'm staying out of it.

- It sounds like y'all
got a lot to work out.

So...
- Wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait a second, don't you
want to take your product?

- This ain't the Girl Scouts.

You can't give
the cookies back.

- Aren't you worried
about the FBI?

- Nah.
- See?

- There's a
distribution system.

You've been distributed to.

- What--what does that mean?

- It means
you're on the hook now.

- It's like, 100 grand.
- Oh, you don't got to wash it.

- Then what do we do with it?

- Burn it, eat it,
wipe your ass with it.

And then write me a check.

Because either way,
I'm coming to collect.

- Hey.

Guess who ended up
taking the piano lessons?

Six years.
It's gonna be fine.

[soft pop music]



[clears throat]

[door opens]

What?

- Okay, the pins
represent the stores

with the biggest ticket items.

We've got blue for electronics,
yellow for appliances--

- Is this the same map
you used for Black Friday?

- Yes, but I expanded it,

because it is way too risky
to shop locally right now.

- Damn, you really upped
your crafting game, Martha.

- Hey, hey.
There is a system.

I am trying to
keep us organized

so that we don't get caught.

- Okay...
- What if they test the bills?

I once saw a guy at 7/11
get straight up tased.

- Well, at least
he wasn't arrested.

- And then he got arrested.

- I used a security pen
from work on one of the 20's.

We're not
getting tased or arrested.

This cash is
[kissing noise] primo.

- The red bands
are the fake money.

So when you make a return,
you put on a green band.

And you keep it separate.
- Red goes out, green comes in.

- Just like Christmas.

- This is who we are now, huh?

- I mean...

desperate times.

- We can do this.

We're just
normal women, shopping.

- With money to burn, baby!

[Jungle's "Busy Earnin'"]



- All right, you saved $5.21.

- Thanks a lot.
- Have a good one.

Next.

- ♪ So you've come
a long way ♪

- Find everything okay?
- Yeah.

- ♪ But you're never
out late ♪

- [soft laugh]

[beep]

- ♪ It's crime

♪ Too busy earning

- Couldn't decide.

- I see that.

- $4,822.38.



[machine beeps, flitters]

- Wha--what's that?

- We have to check
our large bills.

- You guys don't
use the pen thingy?

- No, not anymore.
Those never really worked.

- You know what?
I'm actually in a hurry.

I'm just gonna come back.
- This will just take a second.

- ♪ And I get it always

- So we just finished
this major remodel, right?

Tear the kitchen
right down to the studs.

So I can buy
all new appliances.

Fun, right?

Only not fun,
because the appliances

don't match the counters,
and now I gotta buy

all new colors to try out.

First up was eggshell.

What the hell
kind of color is eggshell?

I'll tell you what kind.
It's white, just plain white.

So then I tried seashell,
and I don't know if y'all

have ever been to
the sea and seen a shell.

You might need a vacation,

but I assure you,
that ain't it.

And don't even
get me started on corn silk.

That is nonsense--

- I need a manager
to the front please.

Manager to the front.

[machine ticking]

- Is there a problem?

- ♪ You can't get enough



[machine ticking]

[beeping]

- Great.
Everything looks good.

You want your
receipt in the bag?

- Uh, no, I'll hold onto it.

- There you go.

- You want all this
back on a card?

- Cash is fine.

[beep]

- ♪ Too busy earning

♪ You can't get enough



♪ Just busy earning

♪ You can't get enough

♪ No



♪ Just busy earning

♪ You can't get enough

- Did you get the verifier?
- This shizz is good.

[indistinct chatter]

- Do you play games?

- Uh, you know,
I'm actually in the market for

something more like
a flat screen type deal.

Something kind
of stupidly pricy.

- Price doesn't
always equal quality.

- You're talking to an
irresponsible millennial here.

- Uh, well in that case,
our 4K ultra high defs

are rated the best.
- Mmm.

- But they run upwards
of four grand, so.

- [whistles]
- Yeah, steep.

- Ouch, well.

I guess I should
only get four then.

- Four.

TVs?

- What do you think, five?

- I don't know, I mean,
are you messing with me?

[both laugh]
- No!

Why would I
be messing with you?

- Nobody that looks like you

would ever be that good
for my commission.

- And what do I look like?

- Uh, you know, hot?

- Okay, man, you know what, you
got this whole thing all wrong.

- Okay, you're not hot?
- No, no, I'm hot, obviously.

I'm just serious about the TVs,
I'm not messing with you.

- Ringing up the hottie!

- [soft laugh]

- [gasps]
Okay, creeper.

- You just getting home now?

- You don't have
to wait up for me.

- I'm surprised
you can see straight

with all these doubles
you've been pulling.

- I mean, it's hard to say no
to the extra shifts.

- Yeah.
- How was rehearsal?

- Ah, Sara seemed
a little tired.

- Is she okay?
- She said she was.

- Oh, by the way,

our little girl,
she's got my moves.

No, dude, she was like--

[grunts]
Ay, ay, ay, ay!

- Okay, if those are her moves,

We need to take her
off that dance team.

- Oh, come on now.
You remember what it was.

- [groans]
I need to get off my feet.

- Oh, we could do that too.
- [sighs]

- Hey, hey, where--
where's your uniform?

- Oh, um, I left it at work.

It's covered in
ketchup and frustration.

- That's nasty.

[both laugh]
- You don't even know.

- I don't even care.

[vocalizing]

- Oh, you, you want to--
- Come on, all right?

- Oh, you didn't--
- Hey, oh.

both: Oh!

- Yes.

- 19,685 bucks.

- Okay.

[humming softly]

I'm going to need a receipt.

- Okay, um...

I forgot to mention we
offer in-home installation.

- Oh, that's okay, I'm all set.

- Are you sure?
It's--it's free.

- Yeah, no, they're gifts,
so I'm all set.

- If you change your mind...
- Mm-hmm.

- "In-home hookup?"

- I've been waiting
to use that line for years.

- Well, I'm honored
to be the chosen one.

- Seriously, it's the
only reason I took the job.

They don't
give us overtime here.

- Well, at least now
you can quit.

[door opens]

- [clears throat]
[door shuts]

[keys jingle]

- Hey.

What you doing?

- Just, uh, some reorganizing.

- Here, let me help.

- It's okay, I have a system.

- Okay.

- I--I--
already fed the dog.

- Oh okay.
Well, what can I do to help?

- What do you mean?
- Well, I'm back home.

So, you know,
I want to be useful.

- You should be resting.

- No, I'm okay.

[refrigerator door opens]

- What did the doctor say?
[door shuts]

- We'll know more
after the appointment.

Whether it's going to be...
[drink pours]

chemotherapy,
or radiation, or whatever.

[door opens]

- Um...

You know, you could
fill my car up with gas.

- Yeah, yay!
- That would be nice.

- Sorry, that was, uh,
[stammering]

- It's okay.
- Just sort of forgot.

- My keys are by the door.

- Thanks.

[tender music]



[slams cup]

[exhales]

[scoffs]

[Salt N Pepa's
"None of your Business"]

♪ What's the matter
with your life ♪

♪ Why you gotta
mess with mine ♪

♪ Don't keep
sweating what I do ♪

♪ Because I'm gonna be just
fine, check it out ♪

♪ If I want to take a guy
home with me tonight ♪

♪ It's none of your business

♪ And if she wanna be a freak
and sell it on the weekend ♪

♪ It's none of your business

♪ Now you shouldn't
even get into ♪

♪ Who I'm giving skins to

♪ It's none of your business

♪ So don't try
to change my mind ♪

♪ I tell you one more time

♪ It's none of your business

♪ So hold your tongue tightly,
wish you could be like me ♪

- Don't judge me, Rex.

♪ Now you could get with that
or you could get with this ♪

♪ 'Cause really it's
none of your business ♪

.

[drawer rattles]

- Hey.

What are you doing?

- I'm just gonna
get a glass of water.

- Here, I'll get it for you.
- No, stay here, stay here.

[kisses]

I'll be right back.

- Okay, well, never mind.

[door opens]

[door creaks shut]

Hello?

Hey!

Un-be-lievable.

Wow, real classy move, jackass!

God!
[scoffs]

[dramatic rock music]



- Oh, my God, oh, my God.

Oh, my God, no, no, no.

Oh, God.

- He stole your receipt?
- I mean, he must have.

Because I've looked
everywhere and it's gone.

- Everywhere?
Have you checked your pocket?

- What do you
think I am, an idiot?

Don't answer that.

- Okay,
well how much was it for?

- $20,000 worth
of flat screens.

- Oh, my God.
- Who steals a receipt, anyway?

- Well, he wrote
his number on it,

so I guess he just didn't
want me to call him again.

- Isn't it in your phone?

- Well, yeah, but--
- Like, who is this guy?

- Uh, Brad, or a Brian.
I'm picturing the nametag,

and I feel like
there was a "B" in there.

Look, Sadie is gone, okay?
I was in a dark place.

- Well call his shady ass
and get it back.

- I'm trying, homie.
He is ghosting me hard.

- Wow, he sounds like a winner.

- Yeah, I know, Beth.

I guess he
got what he came for.

- Okay.

We will fix this.
- How?

You can't do returns for cash
without a receipt.

- Okay, well I personally
would love a solution

that doesn't involve
crawling back to Brad-Brian.

- Like?

- Well, like,
we could give g*ng Friend

the cash that we do have,
and the flat screens.

- Yeah, 'cause that went
so well with the Hummels.

- Nope, I value my life.

I am not going back
to those lunatics short again.

- I very much agree.
- And can we please stop

calling him g*ng Friend?

- Okay, what's his name, then?

- R--
Ron?

- Yo, you see Ron cap that B?

- Okay, it's not Ron.

- Rio.

- Okay.
- His name's Rio.

- Oh, is his name Rio?

- So, I'm--I'm sorry, but

looks like we're gonna
have to go find your...

the guy.
- [groans]

- Could you
be worse with names?

- All right.

- Oh, uh, hi.

I am looking for a Brian
or a Brad or a Brendan

in electronics.
- Brian. He's not here today.

- Okay, um...

I need you to give me
his address.

- Sorry, we can't
give that out.

- I just really need it, like,
it's extremely important to me.

- You could leave him a note,

I think he works
again next week.

- Okay, well, by next week,
our headless bodies

will be badly decomposed,
but thanks, anyway.

- Now what?
- Hold this.

[soft dramatic music]



- I'm going to take you
off the floor to inventory.

Corporate wants it today.
- I was right in the middle--

- I don't have the time, Rita.

And I'm going to need
a current employee list.

Names, numbers, and addresses.

Mark asked for it an hour ago,
and just between us,

there are going
to be some layoffs.

- Who's Mark?

- Mark.
Ted's boss.

Hired Bill?

Overhauled
the entire division with Ed?

- Ed Fielding?

- What other Ed
would I be talking about?

How long have you worked here?
- 15 years.

- Wow, Rita.

- Uh, I am so sorry.

- Just give me that list.

- [soft laugh]

Big pimping!
- It's like your superpower.

- Yow!
- It's the clipboard.

- Damn.

[sighs]

[muffled TV playing]

Brian!

- Hey, I was gonna
call you back.

- Yeah, I'm so sure.
- I just got really busy.

- Mmm, is that why you bailed
in the middle of the night?

Had to get cracking
on that to-do list, huh?

- Uh, who are they?
- Don't you worry about it.

- Let's talk later.
- No.

I need that receipt.
- What?

- The receipt that you
wrote "in-home hookup" on.

- Ew, gross.
- Seriously.

- I know.
- I don't have it.

- Well, go get it.

- I threw it away and took out
the trash, okay? It's gone.

- Why? Why would you do that?

- Daddy.

- Who is it, babe?

- Oh.

That's why.

- I'm sorry.
Who are you?

- Actually, uh--
- No, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, wrong apartment.

- But, hang on--
- Let's go.

- Who was that?
- Nobody.

- Ah, ah, ah, ah!

- Is that it?
- I don't know, I can't tell.

I need more light.
Here, can you shine the...

Ooh, I need glasses.
I can't see.

- Dear God,
please end this suffering.

- Just give--
just give it to me.

- All right, chill.

Huh?

- No, I think it's Starbucks.

- No!
- Are you sure?

- Yeah, I can make out
the word "macchiato"

- Plus, there's
coffee grounds all over it.

- [whispering]
That's not coffee grounds.

- [snickers]

- This isn't funny!
- Come on, it's a little funny.

- We're in a dumpster
because of you.

- [laughs]
Wait, how is this on me?

- How is this not on you?
- [gasps]

[whispering]
There's a Band-Aid on my arm.

And it's not mine.

- He stole my receipt.
I got played here.

- No, you screwed
a married guy.

- How was I supposed
to know that he was married?

- Maybe take one more
minute of conversation

before you drop your pants.

- Are you slut-shaming me?
- I'm just plain shaming you.

- You are on the wrong
side of history, trust me.

- Because once again,

you made the smart,
responsible decision.

- You know, Beth,
I'm really sorry,

but it's not my problem
that you haven't had sex

since Emma was born,

and it's all
dried-up ass twigs in there.

- [whispering]
Damn.

- You're a child.
- Right.

Yeah, I'm a child, and you're
just, you're all about

that responsibility
lifestyle, right?

That's why you just let that
lying douchebag off the hook?

- What are you talking about?

- You could have
busted his cheating ass.

But no, you didn't.
You let him get away with it.

- I didn't let him
get away with anything!

- That's exactly what you did,
I just saw you!

- You think she doesn't know?

The state of
that woman's marriage

was written all over her face.

We didn't have to tell her.

She already knows.

- [retches]

[groans]

Dirty diaper.

- They do have a baby.

- [whispering]
It's adult.

- Found it.

- Oh, God.

- It's just, um...

underneath his kid's artwork.

- [whispering] Okay.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.

[Dark Dark Dark's
"Daydreaming"]



- Take off your shoes, Mommy.
You'll bring in dirt.

- ♪ Think of a place
that I would go ♪

- Shh.
[kisses]

- ♪ I'm daydreaming

♪ Of where the sycamore grow

♪ I'm daydreaming

♪ And oh, if you knew
what it meant to me ♪

♪ Where the air was so clear



- Morning, Mrs. Boland.

- Hi.
- I didn't mean to scare you.

- No, no, I just haven't
had my morning coffee.

- Mom!
- Yeah, hold on just one sec.

- Is your husband home?

- No, he's already at work.
- He's an early bird.

- Why, is there a big break
in the dog poop case?

- [laughs]
Yeah, right.

- Because I'm sure he'd wear
a wire if you needed him to.

[both laugh]

- Actually, it's you
that I wanted to see.

- Oh, why's that?

- Mom, come on!
- Yeah, hold on, hold on.

- Do you know this guy?

- Uh, no.

- This is your house, right?

- Yes.

- But you've
never seen this guy?

Because see,
from this angle here,

it seems like maybe he's coming
right out your front door.

- No, no.

- Huh, okay, well.

I'll swing by later and
show it to your husband, too.

When's the big guy
home from work?

- Please don't do that.

- Why not?

- I can't talk
about it right now.

- Mom, we're gonna be late!

- Not in front of my kids.

- Then I think you should
come by my office.

- Uh, okay, tomorrow's okay?
- Today's better.

- Okay.

- Go Red Wings!
- Yeah!

[suspenseful music]



- What are you looking at?

Hey, hey, hey,
wash your hands!

Animal.

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, did it start yet?
My baby's performing.

[tense music]

What's going on?
Excuse me, excuse me.

Excuse me, excuse me.

Stan!

.

- Your daughter had a seizure.

- She was doing so much better,
I don't understand.

- Her kidney's basically
non-functioning at this point.

- Oh, my God.

- How does this even happen?
- We're not sure.

But let's start dialysis
and get her stabilized.

- And then what?
- We'll run some tests.

Try to get you
all more answers.

Now, you said
Sara was taking Eculizumab?

- She was doing great on it.
- You watch her take it?

- Every night.
- You see her swallow?

[tense music]



[pills rattle]

- Ruby.

[pills rattling]

- [sighs]

- So what do I say?
- To whom?

- The FBI.
What do I tell them?

- They ain't got nothing.
- They've got a picture of you.

- That ain't special.
I'm on Facebook, too.

Your cut.

- Wait, wait, wait.

- Listen.

In my line of work,

If you don't have
the FBI on your back,

you ain't making noise.

- I don't want to make noise.

They're gonna want to know
what someone like me

is doing with someone like you.

- What are you doing
with someone like me?

- Well, obviously,
I can't tell them that.

- Right, right.

All right, so tell them
I was hitting it.

- What?

- Oh, sorry, sweetheart.
Tell them we're making love.

- I--
how do I even say that?

- [laughs]
You'll think of something.

Make me sound
good though, yeah?

[car door shuts]

- [soft scoff]

- I was feeling better.

So I was saving it
until I needed it again.

- That's not how
medicine works, baby

- Yeah, I thought you were
supposed to be honor roll here.

- Now we're going to have to
take that bumper sticker off.

[soft laugh]

- I wanted to try
and help you guys out.

- Help us out with what?

- Like, money and stuff.

I know we can't afford it.

- Well...

there's something
you don't know.

Should we tell her?

- I don't know,
you think she can handle it?

- The truth is...

we are...

stinking rich.

I'm talking stacks
on stacks on stacks, loaded.

- We are rolling in it.

- And the truth, my dear,
is that you are...

wait for it--

royalty.

♪ Mm-hmm

We didn't want you
to grow up spoiled.

That's why we kept it
on the DL.

- Mm-hmm.
- This is like a bad movie.

- It's why
we bought the tiniest,

cheapest house we could find.

- Oh--oh--okay.
Hold--it's not that bad.

- Oh, and that
explains the car.

- Exactly.
- Wait a second.

What's wrong with my car?
- And the food.

- Now that makes sense.
- Hey, watch yourself.

[gentle music]

Baby, don't worry about us.

Just go to school,
and play, and be a kid.

- That's it.

- And swallow your damn pills
from now on, okay?

- Okay, Mommy.



- All the stuff you think
you're keeping from them?

You're not.

- Don't go there.
- [sighs]

- I mean, I'm not going to say
that I'm a bad mother...

- Oh, she's going there.

- I could have
paid more attention.

- You do the best you can.

- [sniffs]

[sniffs]
Those better be doughnuts.

Do not come at me with some
wack-ass cheese Danish.

[soft music]

Those aren't doughnuts.

- It's everything,
it's our whole cut.

- We knew you'd need it
for the hospital bill.

- We don't want you to even
think about it, okay?



- And messed up my damn face.

- It was already
pretty messed up.

- I hate you guys.
- We know.

- So, have you already
discussed the comment

about the twigs and the--
- Ah, yes.

Yes, we--
we had a discussion about it.

- Man, I missed it?
- Mm-hmm.

I was the bigger man,
I apologized.

- Yeah, sort of.

- Well, I said it wasn't
my finest moment.

- You also said it
could have been way worse.

- Yeah, because I wanted
to say "raisin cave."

But I restrained myself.
- What does that even mean?

- Uh, I think I know.
And it is not an apology.

- [laughs]
What you want from me, blood?

Please.

- [wheezing laughing]
Raisin cave.

- [laughing]
I mean...

- Oh, my God!

[all laughing]

.

- Hi.
- Can I help you?

- Yeah, I'd like to fill out
one of those

customer complaint cards.

It's about my recent
in-home hookup.

- Oh, a comment card.

- Well, all my
comments are complaints,

but call it what you want to.
- Absolutely, no problem.

Overall, how happy were you
with your service?

- Un.
Very unhappy.

- Uh, one through ten?

- Mmm, like a negative six.
- Absolutely, no problem.

And was your service performed
in a timely manner?

- If by timely, you mean
like a little woodpecker,

then yeah.
- Absolutely, no problem.

Was the job completed
to your satisfaction?

- Uh, no, I was
definitely not satisfied.

- He didn't finish?
- Oh, he finished.

- I am so sorry
about your experience.

We take our customer feedback
very seriously.

- Now, how seriously is that?
Do you dock people's pay?

- I--
- Do you fire them?

Because I'd hate
to see that happen.

- If the situation were
extreme enough, certainly.

You didn't happen to catch
your technician's name?

- You know, he just
wasn't that memorable.

He kinda had, like--
like, a mini dad bod.

And he smelled like, hmm,
it's hard to describe.

Have you ever been
to a zoo in the rain?

- Mm-mm.
- Oh!

There he is.

- Wait, you're Nicole?
- Mm-hmm.

- He actually talked
a lot of smack about you, too.

Just saying.

[door opens]

- Hey.
[door shuts]

- Oh, wow, you cooked?

- Yeah, I watched
that Rachel Ray show.

There's something wrong
with that woman.

She's like, so happy.
- I know, it's really weird.

- Yeah, hey, do you want me
to heat up your plate?

- Sara's in the hospital again.

I'm going to shower
and then head back there.

- All right, hey, Beth.

I'm really, really trying here.

- I know.

- You think I could fix it?

- I think it's
going to take more than

filling up the car
and Rachel Ray.

- Right.

If it never happened.

You know, Amber, the money.

Would you still be with me?

- I don't even know
how to answer that.

- I think you just did.

- Mrs. Boland, can I
get you anything? Coffee?

- Oh, uh, you drink coffee
at this hour?

- I don't sleep much anyway.
You?

- I had an affair.

- You had an affair.

- I'm not proud of it,
and it's over now.

But that's why
he was at the house,

and that's why
I couldn't say anything

in front of my husband
and my children.

- Oh.

Well.

Okay, then.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Just out of curiosity,
where'd you meet him?

I'm just wondering
where a nice lady like you

meets an inner-city gangbanger.
PTA?

Or is it like,
a speed dating thing?

What's that website,
It's Just Lunch?

- At a bar.
- What was he wearing?

- Jeans.
- What about you?

- A dress.
- Where'd you meet him?

- At a restaurant.
- You just said bar.

- A bar-restaurant.
They had food.

- What was the name?

- Lucky's.

- Bet they'd remember
a pair like you.

Who drove?

You or him, who drove?
- Um, we both did.

- What kind of car
does he drive?

- Black BMW.

- It'd be registered,
I'll check it.

- It might be a Cadillac.
- Maybe.

Have a good night,
Mrs. Boland.

[keys clacking]

- It was a one-night stand.

I had just found out
that my husband

was cheating on me
with a child.

More or less.

And I was lonely, and angry.

And...

normally, sleeping with
a complete stranger

would repulse me.

But it didn't that day.

I dropped the kids off
at school,

and I went straight to the bar.

- Where was your husband?

- Screwing his secretary
and losing all our money.

- Fair enough.

- We drank a little.

And I invited him
back to my house.

We drank a little more.

And then I realized that
what I was doing was insane.

And I told him to go.

And he kissed me.

I kissed him back.

He pulled my panties down,

and we screwed right
on the kitchen table,

on the breakfast dishes.

The kids had pancakes.

Blueberry.

If you were wondering.

[Phantogram's "Cruel World"]

It only happened once.

And I've never seen
that man again.

And I don't plan to.



- ♪ I'm putting you
out of your misery ♪

- Thank you for coming in.



- ♪ 'Cause darling
you're dragging me down ♪

- Mrs. Boland?

- ♪ I wish I could say
that I'm sorry ♪

- Just be careful
who you bring into your home.

- I'm tougher than I look.

- ♪ It's a cruel cruel world



♪ So I'm saying my goodbyes



♪ Goodbye to my good side



♪ It only ever got me hurt

♪ And I finally learned

♪ It's a cruel cruel world

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