02x04 - The Majestic 12

[bunniefuu]

- [woman sobbing] No! No! No!
- [man panting]

- [man] Please! Please, don't k*ll us.
- [woman sobs] No! Please, no.

- Please! Don't! Don't k*ll us! No! No!
- [man] Please! I beg you, no!

No, please, don't!

- [man gasps]
- [casing clatters]

[heavy panting]

[casing clatters]

Shame.

[door opens, closes]

[soft metal thud]

Well.

Well, well, well.

Look what we have here.

Does this belong to you?

[Handler chuckles]

Come here, darling.

Come, come.

Yeah.

Come on.

Yes.

There we go.

[Marty Robbins's "Love Is Blue" playing]

- Does that taste good, little one?
- ♪ Blue, blue ♪

- ♪ My world is blue ♪
- [Handler chuckles]

♪ Blue is my world since I'm without you ♪

♪ Gray, gray, my life is gray ♪

♪ Cold is my heart since you went away ♪

♪ Red, red, my eyes are red... ♪

[Handler] Trust no one.

[young Lila repeats in Mandarin]

[Handler] Always be alert.

[young Lila repeats in Mandarin]

[Handler, in Mandarin]
Very good, little one.

[Handler, in English]
So, we got you white...

so you and your gorgeous dress
can be the star. It's simple.

Oh, it's perfect.

[Lila chuckles]

Oh, little one.

[Lila laughs]

Okay.

- [Lila giggling]
- [sighs]

All right, now, smile.

- And look like you mean it.
- Okay.

All right, say cheese.

- Say cheese.
- Cheese.

♪ Black, black, the nights I've known ♪

♪ Longing for you, so lost and alone ♪

♪ Blue is my world ♪

♪ Since I'm without ♪

♪ You ♪

[Handler] Mmm!

- Mmm.
- [Lila] You want me to protect Five?

It's not that complicated, honey.

- If anyone deserves to die, it's him.
- That's true, but...

- The most wanted man in the Commission.
- Yes.

Now you want me to protect him.

That's correct.

After everything he's done to you?
He's the reason you got demoted.

Be that as it may...

he's worth more to me alive.

If you want to k*ll somebody,
why don't you k*ll Diego?

No.

You sure?
I think it'll make you feel better.

Nah.

- Suit yourself.
- [police siren passes by]

Pass me more syrup, will you?

Mmm.

Mm, I ran into some trouble
at the asylum,

during the escape.

These three blond guys.

Total cowboys.

They're here already?

What, you know those freaks?

Commission muscle. Triplets.
Like Huey, Dewey, and Louie,

- only a little more meshugahs.
- You sent them?

- Of course I did.
- Why? They nearly k*lled me.

Well, they have to make it look good.

Right? Otherwise, people might suspect
that we're working together.

So they know I'm on the job?

It's all a performance.

Look, if they wanted you dead,

you would've been long gone by now,
little one.

You need to stop calling me that.

Aww.

Listen to me.

No one is trying to k*ll you.

We're all working towards the same goal.

Which is?

Well, that's the thing
about the Commission, isn't it?

Some things just don't make sense...

until they do.

I like the fringe.

Protect Number Five at all costs.

[door shuts]

[gasps softly]

[Allison's voice echoes] Luther.

- Again! Hit me!
- [Allison] Luther?

- [panting]
- [Vanya] Luther?

[Luther, weakly] Allison?

Sorry to disappoint.

Here. For your face.

Do you need a pillow or...

- an... an aspirin?
- Wait, uh...

why are you here, Vanya?

You're my brother.

I mean, apparently. [chuckles]

Five found you.

Yeah, he's downstairs waiting
with the car.

Said you'd be better off alone.

[groaning softly]

Yeah.

He's an assh*le.

Such an assh*le.

- [Luther] Right?
- Right.

[chuckles] Um...

How much did he tell you?

Um, well, he filled in some gaps.

Uh, seven children,
a talking chimpanzee...

- Yeah.
- A very warm and cuddly father.

[Luther] Mm-hmm.

- [sighs]
- An apocalypse.

He told you about that, huh?

Well, not all of it.

Because I think there's something
he left out.

About me.

[Luther] Huh.

What caused the apocalypse?

You did.

But not alone.

- I was part of it. I mean, we all were.
- How?

Uh, you got angry,

lost control, and you...

blew up the moon.

It slammed into Earth,
wiping out everything.

[voice trembles] Why would I do that?

It's complicated.

Look...

you had kind of a bad childhood.

[door slams open]

- Why the hell did you throw that fight?
- Jack.

- Answer me!
- [Luther] Sorry...

- I had a bad night.
- Bad night, you son of a bitch?

You could've taken that chump's head off
in your sleep!

I owe a lot of money right now, Luther,

to people that can make things
very hard on me!

- Leave him alone!
- Shut up and mind your business!

- Jack, look... I'm sorry.
- [Jack panting]

All right? I'm gonna make it up to you,
I promise. Okay?

I treated you...

like a son.

Jack, come on.

No. You and me...

we're done.

Jack, please.

- Jack. Jack!
- [retreating footsteps]

[door slams shut]

Luther?

Would you, uh... just get out, please?

Well, I don't mind staying,
and I have some more questions.

[shouts]

[sighs]

[Five] Well, that clearly went well.

- You ready to go?
- I'm going back to the farm.

Hey. Unacceptable, Vanya.

Remember, we need to stick together.

Oh, why, so I don't end the world again?

- [scoffs] Stupid...
- Were you even gonna tell me?

You know what? In my defense, no.
All right?

And can you blame me?
When you... you get angry, sh*t blows up.

Great. Are there any other family secrets
you failed to mention?

A boatload, Vanya, which I don't have
the luxury of sharing them with the...

[Five sighs]

The clock is ticking on doomsday.

Just tell me that when I need you,
you'll be ready.

I can't help you, Five.

I don't even know who I am.

- You're our sister.
- [starts engine]

And a member of the Umbrella Academy.

Like it or not, that's who you are.

Look, that's who I was, okay?

New timeline, new me.

No, that's not how it work...

[sighs]

Wonder if it's too late
to be un-adopted.

[rotary dial spinning]

[line rings, connects]

[Allison] Parkland Hospital?

Yes, I'm... I'm looking for a patient,
Raymond Chestnut.

He may have been brought in last night
after the riot at Stadtler's.

Why does that matter?

Of course you don't treat Negroes.
How silly of me.

[Allison hangs up, sighs]
sh*t.

- You all right?
- [Allison] No.

Ray didn't come home last night.

Okay. Okay, no problem.
I'm sure he's fine.

First thing we're gonna need...

[inhales sharply] ...is coffee,

vitamin B12, and...

oh, a piping hot bowl of menudo,

and then we're gonna
sort all this stuff out.

He saw me rumor that cop, Klaus.

I know.

But, uh...

you... you were saving his life.

I mean, that assh*le was gonna k*ll him.

[sighs] I'm such an idiot.

- No, you're not.
- [chair squeaks softly]

I promised myself
I would never do this again.

Nothing good ever comes from it.

Have you ever heard the fable
of The Scorpion and the Frog?

What?

The scorpion wants
to get across the river,

so he asks the frog to carry him across.

But the frog's like,
"Well, what's in it for me?"

And the scorpion's like,
"How about five bucks?"

And the frog says, "Make it 20."

- The scorpion's like, "Ten."
- The frog goes,

"All right, fine, 15."

And the scorpion's like,
"All right, fine, 15."

Then halfway across the river,

the frog feels this terrible pain
on his back, and...

eh... the scorpion stung him.

You know? And the frog's like,
"Well, what the hell?

We're both gonna drown now," and...

they both did.

- What the hell is the point of that story?
- The point is,

frogs are b*tches,

and we do not negotiate with t*rrorists,
Allison...

No. No, no, no. I...
I actually can't deal with you right now.

- I'm sorry, I'm not...
- Absolutely not.

A morning person.
Can we do this again at, like...

- Where you going?
- To find my damn husband.

Menudo.

- So, what, you just let her go?
- [Five] Well, Vanya had a lot to process.

[sighs]
She'll come around. I know she will.

- What about the guys that went after her?
- [Five] The Swedes?

Yeah, I mean, how do you know
they won't go after her again?

- [Five] We don't.
- Mm, any idea who sent them?

Oh, I have my suspicions.

But right now, our priority is finding Dad
and getting answers,

'cause everything else depends on it.

Which, for the record,

- I found him already.
- And then let him go

before we could have
a meaningful conversation.

He stabbed me.

I'm surprised he waited this long, Diego.
We've all had the urge.

- [Lila laughs]
- [Elliott chuckles]

Good one.

Good thing I know
where Dad's gonna be tonight.

[sighs] Where'd you get this?

Found it at his office
while he was busy stabbing you.

- [chuckles sarcastically]
- [Lila] Hmm.

"Hoyt Hillenkoetter

and the Consulate General of Mexico
in Dallas

- cordially invite you to a gala."
- [Elliott] Whoa, wait.

Hoyt Hillenkoetter?

Are you serious?

- You know him?
- [gasps] We should go.

Says there's gonna be a seafood tower.

No, Hillenkoetter is...
is one of the Majestic Twelve.

- [Diego] The hell is the Majestic Twelve?
- What?

It's a... a secret committee.

Uh, scientists, m*llitary, uh, deep state.

No one knows what they really do.

- Wait, so they're government? [grunts]
- [Elliott] Shadow government.

Yeah, Kennedy was the first president
to try to push 'em into the light,

but these guys are not to be trifled with.
Oh...

Oh, here we go. Ah, right here.

This, uh... Oh, right here.

- That's Hoyt right there.
- [Five] Huh.

[Diego sighs, grunts softly]

[gasps softly]

I only count 11.

Well, that's because
they've only identified 11 so far.

Who's the twelfth?

[chickens clucking]

[vehicle approaches]

- [dog barking]
- Vanya.

[Sissy laughing] Ha! Thank God!

Oh! [gasping breaths]

[sighs]

I'm so sorry.

- Uh, I'll... I'll pay for the damage.
- Don't you start.

I'm just glad you're back
and in one piece.

You have no idea where my mind went.
[takes deep breath]

Harlan's gonna be thrilled.

He's been in a state ever since you left.

[chuckles softly] Now...

[sighs]

Tell me what the hell happened
out there.

I don't know where to begin.

Let's start with breakfast.
How about that?

[chickens clucking]

- [patrons murmuring]
- [man sighs]

Gotta hit the head.

Hey! Mamie Pink, right?

Klaus Hargreeves,
but you can call me whatever you want.

How's she lookin'?

- The latrine?
- [Klaus] Listen to me.

I have to talk to you
about something important.

- Okay?
- Okay.

This is gonna sound kinda crazy,
but, uh... [sighs]

I know you.

Uh, yeah, sure.

- From the hardware store.
- No, from before.

Well, after, actually. Listen,

I know you're thinking about enlisting,

thinking it's your duty
'cause your grandfather fought

in World w*r I
and your father fought in World w*r II,

and that guy you're eating brunch with
is your Uncle Ryan who fought in Korea.

- Brian.
- Brian.

And you look up to Brian.

And you're starting to believe
all this stuff he's saying

about the m*llitary making you a man.

[chuckles] Is this a joke or something?

Dave, if you enlist,
they're gonna send you out to Vietnam.

The heck are you talking about?

Fifty thousand American soldiers
and a million Vietnamese... [chuckles]

All die for nothing,

because the dominoes
aren't gonna topple, Dave.

The communists aren't gonna inv*de
all of East Asia.

- [Brian] Says you.
- So...

Oh. Hey, Brian.

You know this... clown?

Um, he bought pink paint at the store.

Pink paint. [chuckles]

Makes sense.

You know, pink can actually be
very masculine in the right setting.

[Brian] Is that right?

How 'bout you get outta my seat, q*eer.

Oh, wow.

If I had a nickel
for every time I heard that.

Ooh! Oh! [chuckles] Whoa! Ooh!

[laughs] Whoo!

Take it easy there, Brian.

[Klaus sighs]

I just need five minutes of your time,
Dave.

Gonna just sit there
and listen to this pansy?

- You don't have to join to become a man.
- [Brian] Hit the q*eer.

- [Klaus] Don't sacrifice yourself.
- Hit him, damn it.

- 'Cause I love you.
- [Brian] Hit him!

- I love you.
- Hit the q*eer!

- And I know there's a day you'll love...
- [Brian] Hit him! Hit him!

- Oh!
- [patrons gasping, murmuring]

[panting softly]

[sighs]

[overlapping chatter inside]

You've gotta be kidding me.

And the Ladies Auxiliary will be cooking
for the families of those injured.

You're having a meeting without me?

- You got a lot of nerve showing up here.
- Miles, now is not the time.

[Ray] Okay, all right. Calm down.

- Calm down?
- [Ray] Calm down.

You want me to calm down?

I have been up all night
calling hospitals.

Ray, I thought you were dead.

I'm right here.

[scoffs] And you didn't even call.

[Odessa] Raymond.

Let's talk about this outside.

[door closes]

[Ray] So...

what'd they offer you? Money?

What? Who?

No, you tell me who. Was it Dallas PD?
Was it FBI?

- I need to know.
- Ray, stop it.

- This is crazy.
- What'd you say to the cop?

- I didn't say anything.
- No, I saw you.

I saw you whisper something into his ear.

I... [sighs]

I begged him to stop hitting you.

Can't believe I never saw it.

- Saw what, Ray?
- The timing of it, Allison.

How you just fell out of the sky,
sweeping up hair,

in this shop of all places,
reading my pamphlets, wanting to join us.

[voice quavering]
I told you, I can explain.

Then do it.

Please, God, explain.

- [Styx's "Renegade" plays]
- ♪ Oh, Mama, I'm in fear for my life ♪

- ♪ From the long arm of the law ♪
- [Allison exhales sharply]

♪ Lawman has put an end to my running ♪

- ♪ And I'm so far from my home... ♪
- [sighs heavily]

[Ben] It's not too late, Klaus.

Oh, I think we both know that it is.

[Ben] You really want to throw
three years of sobriety out the window?

[Klaus laughs] In case you didn't notice,

the last three years
have been a royal shitshow.

And this is only gonna make it worse.

- Maybe. Let's find out.
- ♪ ...And I don't have ♪

- ♪ Very long ♪
- [sighs heavily]

♪ The jig is up, the news is out
They've finally found me ♪

♪ The renegade who had it made
Retrieved for a bounty ♪

♪ Nevermore to go astray ♪

♪ The judge will have revenge today ♪

♪ On the wanted man ♪

♪ Oh, Mama, I'm in fear for my life ♪

♪ From the long arm of the law ♪

♪ Hangman is comin' down
From the gallows ♪

♪ And I don't have very long ♪

[electric guitar solo playing]

♪ Mama, don't let 'em take me! ♪

♪ Hey, yeah ♪

[song fading]

[indistinct chatter inside]

[Klaus] Oh, no.

Oh, God damn it.

[Klaus sighs]

- He's here!
- [man 2] The prophet!

- The Holy Wanderer has returned!
- [Klaus] Stay in the mansion.

- [man 1] Prophet!
- No! No, you guys should all stay

in the mansion!

- [overlapping shouts] Prophet!
- [Klaus] Stay in the...

- [bottles shattering]
- [Klaus] sh*t-sticks!

[engine idling]

[man] Right this way, sir.

[indistinct murmurs]

[Lila] So, what's the plan?

[softly] We infiltrate, we identify,
we extract. Double time.

- What the hell's he talking about?
- Find the old man and get out fast.

That's what I said.

On me.

After you.

- What, I can't be polite?
- Cut the crap.

All right? My dimwitted brother
might buy your bullshit,

but I don't trust you for a second.

O ye of little faith.

Stick it up your ass.

[Helen Wilson's
"Have You Ever Been Hurt" plays on radio]

[man] Number four, order's up.

- ♪ ...Hurt ♪
- [man] Number four.

♪ Hurt, hurt real bad ♪

♪ Oh, it can make ♪

♪ Make ♪

♪ Make, make you real sad ♪

♪ Then you're all ♪

- ♪ You're all, all alone... ♪
- [indistinct conversation]

- [Luther] Can I get one more beer?
- [server] You got it.

Allison.

Oh, sh*t.

[dramatic instrumental music swelling]

Hey.

- [chuckles] Hey.
- I like your hair.

Oh... [laughs]

- Thank you.
- Come on, sit down, sit down.

[Allison] I, um...

- Oh, I'm sorry. Let me move that.
- [Allison chuckles]

You're a mess.

- Are... Are you okay?
- Me?

- Yeah, you've got...
- Oh, yeah, no, I'm... I'm good.

Good.

- Doing good.
- [both chuckle nervously]

- Good weather.
- Oh, yeah.

- Good beer. [laughs]
- Yeah.

Yeah.

And, uh, you, you're good?

Oh, so... so good. So good.

- Yeah.
- Well, that's... that's good.

I heard you came by.

Oh, yeah, I met your...

My God,

- congrats on your...
- Oh, we don't...

- we don't have to talk about him.
- No, no, no, it's okay. Um...

It was hard, right?

Losing everyone and getting stuck here?

I'm glad you weren't alone.

Luther, I never gave up on you.

Any of you. I...

I just assumed Five
would come back eventually,

but the last time he jumped...

Yeah, he was gone for years, I know.

I just, I needed something to hold onto,

and Ray gave me that.

[gentle piano melody plays]

[Luther] Hey.

No one gets to tell us
how to deal with the end of the world.

Right?

Not even each other.

Have you, um,
heard from any of the others?

Vanya?

Uh, on a farm.

And happy.

Right. Weird.

- Uh, Diego?
- Nuthouse.

- [Luther] Klaus?
- Cult leader.

- Eh.
- [Allison laughs]

[Luther] And, uh,
Five turned up a few days ago.

So, that's it, the g*ng's all here.

Well, great. Well, that's usually
when things go sideways, so... [chuckles]

Yeah.

- About that. Uh...
- What?

We did it again.

Apparently.

Did what again?

Ended the world.

Or we will in seven days from now,
according to Five.

- What?
- Doomsday. [chuckles]

[slow mariachi music plays]

[overlapping chatter]

[Diego] I don't see Dad anywhere.

[Five] Just keep an eye out
for the Majestic Twelve.

I got the upstairs.

Diego, try not to do anything too stupid.

[Lila chuckles softly]

Uh-uh-uh-uh.

- Trying to ditch me again?
- What are you talking about?

Last night. Hey...

Where'd you go?

You really want to do this now?

Really.

Fine.

I went to the pharmacy to buy gauze
for your disgusting s*ab wound.

Is that allowed or...?

- [song ends]
- As a matter of fact,

- you owe me $1.89.
- [people clapping]

Or you would if I'd actually paid for it.

[melodic mariachi song playing]

They're playing our song.

Someone's got moves.

My father insisted on ballroom lessons.

[mimics Reginald]
"One never knows when the paso doble

will be the difference
between life and death...

children."

My mum used to say something
along those lines.

- Yeah?
- Switch.

What are you doing?

[Lila] Just follow my lead.

[Diego scoffs]

Uh, honey, no. I'm the man here.

Shh...

[Lila laughs]

[Lila] Well, you are easily distracted.

It can't be.

[men murmur indistinctly]

[door shuts]

[woman] All right. Well, bye now.

Mom.

[in Texas drawl]
Never heard that one before.

Everything all right, hon?

- You're real.
- [Grace chuckles]

If this is your idea of a come-on,

it's not goin' well.

No.

Actu... Uh...

Uh, do... do you know a... a man named
Sir Reginald Hargreeves?

Reggie? He's my date this evenin'.

Your date?

Ugh.

Do you have a problem with that?

No. No, no, it's... it's just, uh...

It's just a lot to process. The...

The thought of the two of you, I...

I can't picture that in my head.
That is...

That's nasty.

Uh... [sighs]

You're a little odd, aren't you?

- Yeah.
- [Grace laughs softly]

I mean, no.

Uh...

Do you know where he is?

He said somethin' about a quick meetin',
and he'd be right back.

That was 20 minutes ago.

Never good to keep a lady waiting.

Tell him that if you find him.

Hey, uh, Grace?

It was nice meeting you.

You too.

Lila.

[suspenseful instrumental music plays]

[indistinct chatter in Spanish]

- I don't understand.
- [Vanya] Me neither.

All I know is that these guys
are really dangerous

and they're not gonna stop until I'm dead.

- So we go to the police.
- No, I... I can't.

Why not?

What... What is it?

Are you in trouble with the law?

Maybe.

[sighs]

It's complicated.

- The point is, I... I can't stay here.
- Vanya...

No, I can't risk anything happening
to you or Harlan.

I couldn't live with myself.

Vanya! We could go somewhere.

For a few days.

We wouldn't have to tell anyone,
not even Carl.

I'll bring the g*n. I'll keep you safe.

You know that's not right.

Neither is you leaving us.

[floorboard creaks]

Harlan! Harlan, honey!

Harlan, get back here!

Harlan!

- Harlan!
- [Vanya] Harlan!

[Sissy] Which way did he go?

[both panting]

- I'll check the barn, you go that way.
- We'll find him, okay?

- [Sissy] Harlan!
- Harlan!

[Vanya] Harlan!

Harlan!

[Sissy] Harlan?

[Vanya] Harlan!

[water splashes]

- Harlan?
- [soft splashing]

Harlan!

[frogs croaking]

[panting]

Oh, my God.

Harlan!

[panting]

[takes steadying breaths]

[high-pitched tone softly resonates]

[high-pitched thrumming]

[dramatic instrumental music playing]

[water whooshing]

[gasping breaths]

[gasps]

Harlan!

[Vanya grunting]

[Vanya gasping]

[Vanya exhales softly]

[whimpering]

No!

[Vanya exhaling]

[sounds fading]

[melancholy piano melody plays]

[dramatic orchestral music playing]

[sounds muted]

[gasping, coughing]

[Vanya gasps]

- Oh, my God! You're okay. You're okay.
- [Harlan coughing]

Harlan! Harlan! Harlan!

- He's okay. He's okay.
- [Sissy sobbing]

Oh, my baby! Oh, my baby!

[whispers] Thank you. Thank you.

Oh, baby.

[soft tapping, scraping]

Uh, yeah, I was...

- gonna tell you about that.
- You need to go.

Phil, I'll pay for it, okay?

- Whatever it costs.
- It's not about the wall, Luther.

Well then, what is it?

You're on Ruby's sh*t list,
and I don't wanna be.

- I'm real sorry.
- Phil.

- Come on, man, it's me.
- [Phil sighs]

Gotta be out by 3:00.

Phil...

Great.

[Luther sighs]

[door unlocking]

[Elliott] Whoa.

You're f... uh, from the alley.

[Luther] Uh...

I'm looking for Five.

Uh, he went out.

He say where he was going?

Um...

He's with your other brother.

Who, Diego?
I thought he was in the asylum.

Uh, he escaped.

He say when they'd be back?

Not sure.

Okay.

[Luther sighs heavily]

[grunts, exhales slowly]

[chuckles] Bad day, huh?

Yep.

You want some nitrous?

[Sissy] Harlan's finally down.

[takes deep breath]

Where's Carl?

Business in Waco.

Back tomorrow night.

I've been thinking,

best not tell him about Harlan and all.

It'd just upset him.

[sighs]

[voice trembles] What a day, huh?

[sobbing]

Hey.

- Hey. Hey, hey, hey...
- [gasping breaths]

If you hadn't been there...

But I was.

- And the doctor said he's gonna be fine.
- I know, I know, I just...

I just keep... keep seeing him
lying there. [gasping]

- I thought he was...
- He pulled through.

He's an amazing kid.

- [sniffles]
- Except for that obsession

with Mr. Pickles.

- That is a true nightmare.
- [laughing]

- [Vanya chuckles]
- [sniffles]

[unsteady chuckle]

Where's yours?

I should leave.

[melancholy piano melody plays]

[Sissy's breath trembles]

Do you know what it's like...

when you have a man who can't see you...

a son who won't talk to you?

Your life gets small.

A little smaller every day.

[voice quavers] And you don't even notice
the box that you're in...

[breath trembles]

Until someone comes along
and lets you out. [quiet sob]

You tell me...

how you let her go. [gasping sob]

- Tell me, and I'll do it.
- Sissy, I can't...

Then tell me to stop.

[Sissy groans softly]

[knocking at door]

[Allison] Ray?

¡Hola!

¿Está... Allison...

en casa buena?

- [inhales deeply]
- Oh, sweet Jesus.

[slurring] I just need a place to crash
for one night.

[door closes]

- Couch is all yours.
- Don't go chasing waterfalls.

I mean, stick to the rivers and the lakes
that you're used to, b*tches.

[Klaus sighs softly]

[Marva Whitney's "Unwind Yourself" plays]

[muffled moan]

[slo-mo giggling]

♪ Unwind yourself ♪

[distorted laughter]

♪ Come on and turn that soul loose
Come on, baby ♪

- [laughter continues]
- ♪ Unwind yourself ♪

- [hysterical chuckle] Oh, God.
- [gas hissing]

[Elliott giggles]

I should've been doing this
my whole life.

Yeah.

It just,
it makes everything better, right?

Yeah.

[inhales deeply]

How'd you get all this stuff?

- [sputters]
- [giggling]

My dad...

was a dentist.

- [Luther] Oh.
- [giggling]

He left me this place in his will
when he d*ed. [laughing]

You know, uh, my dad d*ed too.

He left me on the moon.

[both cackling]

[Elliott giggles, splutters]

- [Luther] Aah...
- At least you went places.

[panting]

I don't leave the house
except between 9:00 and 10:00 a.m.

Monday through Friday,

and when it's daylight on Wednesday.

- Why?
- I have my reasons.

- You are super weird.
- What?

- You are so weird.
- Well...

you... you're an alien from the future,

and you look like an ape.

[gas continues hissing]

I do.

- [straining] I do.
- [Elliott] You could snap...

[Luther] I know.

You know,

in the last 12 hours, I lost a fight,

my job,

and the woman that I love
loves someone else.

[laughing hysterically]

I mean, what is that?

My wife left me

for my best friend

on our tenth anniversary.

Don't worry, okay?

[distorted] She'll be dead in seven days.

Oh... [whimpers]

We all will.

[distorted cackling]

[man] The president is continuing
to make inquiries into Roswell

and the other crash sites, gentlemen.

And, as you know, we cannot allow him
to get his nose into our business.

I've confirmed the motorcade will indeed
be turning left on Elm Street.

We'll have our people in place.

[Reginald] Gentlemen, this plan of yours
seems ill-timed.

It's going to be a turkey sh**t.

[soft clatter]

- [whispers] Dad?
- [Reginald] Shh.

[slats clattering]

[exhales sharply]

sh*t.

[Five grunts]

[Five straining]

- [Five groans]
- [low murmurs]

[energy whooshes]

[energy sputtering]

Oh, sh*t.

- [impact thud nearby]
- We've been compromised.

- Regroup at the backup location.
- Yes, boss.

["I Was Made For Lovin' You"
by Kiss plays]

- [Five grunting]
- [impact thuds]

[Diego] Five...

[gasps]

[impact thud]

[groans]

♪ Do, do, do, do, do-do-do, do, do ♪

♪ Do, do, do, do, do-do-do ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ I wanna give it all to you ♪

- [grunts]
- [impact thuds continue]

- ♪ In the darkness ♪
- [Diego and Five both groaning]

♪ There's so much I wanna do ♪

Lila!

- ♪ Tonight ♪
- Help me!

- Lila! Help... [echoing]
- ♪ I wanna lay it at your feet... ♪

[Handler, echoing]
Protect Number Five at all costs.

♪ ...And girl, you were made for me ♪

[groans]

♪ I was made for lovin' you, baby ♪

♪ You were made for lovin' me ♪

♪ And I can't get enough of you, baby ♪

♪ Can you get enough of me? ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

[Lila grunting]

♪ I wanna see it in your eyes ♪

[heavy grunting]

♪ Feel the magic ♪

You're welcome.

♪ There's somethin' that drives me wild ♪

♪ And tonight ♪

- ♪ We're gonna make it all come true ♪
- [groaning]

♪ 'Cause, girl, you were made for me ♪

♪ And girl, I was made for you ♪

♪ I was made for lovin' you, baby ♪

- ♪ You were made for lovin' me ♪
- [grunts]

♪ And I can't get enough of you, baby... ♪

Oh, yeah, mofo.

It's just you and me.

Show me what you got.

[both grunting]

[Diego shouts]

[Diego growls]

♪ Do, do, do, do, do-do-do, do, do ♪

♪ Do, do, do, do, do-do-do ♪

- ♪ I was made for lovin' you, baby ♪
- [Diego grunts, shouts]

- ♪ You were made for lovin' me ♪
- [horn honks]

[Diego] Dad.

- ♪ And I can't get enough of you... ♪
- [chaotic chatter]

[song fades out]

[approaching police siren]

[speaking Ancient Greek]

[continues in Ancient Greek]

[Grace] Reggie.

What are you waiting for?

We need to go.

- Who was that?
- No one important.

- Was that him?
- Yeah.

[rock violin music playing]