01x07 - All Valley

[bunniefuu]

Yeah, no, these just came off the truck.

But he put them all in front.

I wanted to put some Porsches up here.

Hey, Mr. LaRusso, uh, I'm all done.

Really?

Both lots?

This is bullshit.

Okay, I thought you were gonna teach me karate.

I'm just doing all your shitty chores.

I think you're enjoying this a little too much.

God, I love this part.

iel: Show me wash the windows. Hai!

Hai! Show me wax on, wax off. Hai, hai!

Next!

Whoa.

Bow.

Fighting positions.

Stabilize your base, Hawk.

Keep your balance, full rotation when you strike.

Yes, Sensei! Hai!

Did you just flinch, Virgin?

Holy sh*t, we got a room full of flinchers.

- Yes, Sensei!
- That was not a question!

Raise your hand if you've never been punched in the face.

Put your hands down.





All your lives, you've been avoiding fights

so you don't break your nose or lose a tooth.

This concussion nonsense.

So there's only one solution, and that is before you leave

this dojo, each and every one of you

is going to take a punch, very hard, to the face.

Miss Robinson, line them up. Unflinch this group.

Yes, Sensei.

450 bucks for nunchucks. What a rip.

- sha: -

Hey, Sensei, I need to ask you something.

First aid's under the counter. We got a bleeder?

No. - sha: -

Well, I mean, yeah, we do. There's a lot of blood.

But this is about something else.

What is it?

- Well, there's a girl at school. - Is she hot?

- And she's super smart.
- Hot?

- Funny and cool.
- Hot?

- Yes, she's hot, super hot.
- Nice.

I think you'd really like her. She likes karate, and...

I mean, I want to ask her out, but I just don't know.

Don't know? What's there to think about?

She's hot, and all those other things.

Uh, yeah, but what if she says no.

Never accept defeat, Diaz. There is no "no."

Pretty sure no means no.

Yeah, if things are getting physical, no means no.

But if you're just asking her out.

You're a Cobra Kai.

All the babes want to date a Cobra Kai.

- All right?
- sha: f*cking p*ssy! Next.

- sha: -

Are we entering this tournament?

I don't think we're ready yet.

- He's okay.
- I'm okay.

It's just a tooth.

Yo, yo, yo, job kid!

- What's up, man.
- Nice shirt, bro.

Yeah, man, looks like he's

taking that job thing real serious.

I thought you just wanted to piss off your dad.

I am. I'm gonna quit soon.

Oh, okay, cool.

We got an idea we want to run by you.

I'm on lunch break.

Man, we're not talking about today.

- We're talking about tonight.
- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.
- Yeah, what's the plan?

LaRusso's Luxury Motors.

What are you talking about?

- We can't steal a car.
- Dude, relax.

We're not gonna steal a car.

We're talking about auto parts. Like, rims, stereos.

sh*t made out of chrome and sh*t.

You know?

- I don't know, guys.
- Dude, you don't have to

do anything. Just give us the security code.

We'll let ourselves in.

Yeah, but I don't have the code.

I'm the new guy, I don't even have a key to the bathroom.

I'm sure you could figure something out.

- You always do.
- Unless he doesn't want to.

Oh, then we'd have a bigger problem.

Yeah, remember what we did to that
bitch ass kid over in Ventura?

Oh, yeah, that was unfortunate.

- It was.
- Yeah.

But we're not gonna have a bigger problem, are we, Robby?

Hey, Sam.

- Hey.
- Hey, I didn't realize

this was your locker.

- Yup, that's me.
- Yeah.

Anyways, glad I ran into you.

Um, I've been thinking about you a lot lately.

Um...

I mean, not a lot a lot, just the normal amount

that someone would think about someone else.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah, um, I mean, I was...

Do you want to go out on a date with me?

Oh.

Um, Miguel, that's really sweet.

I mean, I would like to.

With everything that happened with Kyler,

I'm kind of taking a break from dating right now.

- Yeah, no, I get it.
- But I'll see you in class?

Yeah, perfect, okay. See you in class.

nny: Never accept defeat.

What if it's not a date?

What if it's just two people, hanging out at the same place,

having fun separately, but together.

- That sounds like a date.
- Really?

It wouldn't be a date.

If it's not a date, then I guess it sounds like it could be fun.

Great!

What about tonight?

- Pick me up at eight.
- Yeah, totally, okay.

Yeah, ooh...

I have a bike.

Uh, okay, then...

- I'll pick you up.
- Okay, yeah.

You know, we have dozens of beautiful brand new cars

right over there that you're welcome to take photos of.

This is for the insurance adjuster.

Just figure instead of waiting for her to come all the way

out here from Torrance, I'll send her the photos

and we can get to work sooner.

Might be time to make you Louie's boss.

Yeah, hey, is it too late to register my dojo

for the All Valley Tournament?

Sure, it's Cobra Kai.

Cobra, like the badass snake.

I need somewhere romantic, but not too romantic.

You could take her to get tattoos.

What?

I know a guy, just hooked me up with this bad boy.

- Oh!
- Oh, sh*t.

- That is badass.
- Right?

14 hours in the chair.

Wait, are your parents okay with that?

Oh, they have no idea.

Definitely going to have to wear a T-shirt until college.

Probably longer.

Please don't tell them.

Uh, any other suggestions?

Don't look at me. Sam and I used to be friends.

- We're not anymore.
- Okay, but I need your help.

Fine, um...

I know that she likes chocolates and astronomy.

- I could work with that.
- nny: Banned?

What are you talking about?

No, you don't ban me. I'll ban you!

Sensei, what's going on?

There's a lifetime ban on Cobra Kai

from entering the tournament.

What, how is that fair?

It's not.

There's nothing I can do about it.

What happened to never accept defeat?

- There is no "no"?
- That was girl advice.

This is different, this is the real world.

- There are rules. - Since when do you care about the rules?

We don't take no for an answer.

You said that, you've got to fight this.

You know what? You're right.

- I'm going to go down there.
- Yeah.

- And b*at their asses.
- Yes, no, no, no, no, no.

What, no, that's not what I meant. I'm saying maybe there's

a more delicate approach, Sensei?

The way of the fist is not delicate.

- Cobras are not delicate. - Yes, yes, sorry. Forget delicate.

I'm just saying...

Maybe there's a smarter way to fight back?

Hey, have you seen Robby?

- I could use some help with those filters.
- Yeah, he's in the back.

He's helping me trim the bonsais.

Oh, wow, you're letting him touch your precious bonsais.

That's like third base for you, babe.

He's a good kid, he's just had a rough go of it.

And I thought if I could teach him a few things, you know.

Well, just don't try to lure him

into opening his own bonsai tree store.

- You know how that goes.
- No, no, no, no, no.

Mr. Miyagi's Little Trees was a solid business plan.

We just ran into some bad luck.

- Okay, never again.
- Never again.

How's it going?

I'm sorry, I suck at this.

I don't know what I'm doing, I just, I don't get it.

Don't worry, I didn't get it either at first.

Mr. Miyagi had to teach me.

Mr. Miyagi, that's the dude who taught you kata, right?

Yeah, he was a pretty special dude.

He taught me a lot.

And what you've got to do is close your eyes.

Get everything out of your head.

The only thing you can see is the tree.

Think only the tree.

Then, you visualize what you want that tree to look like.

And you make it happen.

That's it.

There you go.

So this is obviously some kind of metaphor.

The tree's like my feelings or something?

Well, you are the tree, Robby.

You got strong roots. You know who you are, right?

So now, all you've got to do is visualize what you want

your future to look like. And then you make it happen.

el: Hey, Sensei.

Come in.

You nervous for your meeting?

I'm not nervous, I'm pissed off.

Okay, but you have to be nice to these people.

So if you get pissed off, what are you going to do?

I don't know, I usually just punch the guy.

That's not gonna work. So how about this.

How about when someone makes you angry,

you make a fist like you're gonna punch them.

But don't punch them?

- Hold it in?
- Yeah.

I could try.

Ooh, a briefcase. What's inside?

Nothing. Found it in the dumpster.

- It's a nice touch.
- Thanks.

What about you, are you nervous for your date?

Yeah, uh, a little.

- A lot. - There's nothing to be nervous about, all right?

Just relax, be cool. When the time's right,

- you make your move.
- Move, what move?

I don't have a move. What's my move?

Oh, come on, man. You got to kiss the girl.

I mean, yeah, I'd like to, but I don't...

- Technically have to, right?
- No, that's true.

You could just learn how to braid her hair.

Talk about all the other guys who had the balls

to kiss her on the first date.

- sh*t.
- You're a Cobra Kai.

Strike first, strike hard.

It's not just for karate, it's for everything, all right?

Now where are you taking this chick anyway?

The observatory.

Little picnic on the lawn, chocolate tasting three ways,

and if the sky's clear, then we'll look at the stars.

The only part of that that made any sense at all is three way.

- It'll be fun.
- All right, look.

if you want to impress this chick,

you got to take her to where I used to take

all my babes back in the day.

Where's that?

uel: All right, let's do it!

All right.

I can't believe you wanted to come to Golf N' Stuff.

Oh, I mean, we could go somewhere
else if you don't want to be here.

No, are you kidding me? I love this place.

- Really?
- Totally.

My dad used to bring me here all the time when I was a kid.

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

Come on, it's gonna be so much fun.

- Okay.
- Let's go!

- Oh!
- Oh, my God!

- What the heck?
- Come on, let's see.

Oh, my God.

- Boom.
- Wow.

All right, this is a lot. Let's see, you could get

15 necklaces, an eraser, or 37 lambs.

I want that guy.

Octopus, interesting.

Is he fluffy? Oh, he's pretty fluffy, yeah.

- Yeah, all right.
- So, uh...

- You ready, let's go.
- Okay, where are we going?

Let's bring this to order.

Now, we have a proposal on the table

to change the color of the mats for the under 18 tournament.

We've had the classic red mats with white fist logo

for over 30 years, it's tradition.

You know what else is a tradition? Dwindling attendance.

Look, we need to shake things up.

I say we go blue mats, gold fist.

Gold fists?

Uh, excuse me, sir?

If you're looking for the AA meeting,

that doesn't start until 9 o'clock.

No, uh, I'm John Lawrence here for
the tournament committee meeting.

Are you here because of what happened at last year's tournament?

If so, we can assure you we've
hired an entirely new food vendor.

We had no way of knowing those corn dogs had turned.

No, I'm sorry about your corn dogs. That's not why I'm here.

I'm here because my dojo's been
banned from the under 18 tournament.

- And I want to see about an appeal. - I'm confused.

- We banned someone? - I didn't know we could ban anyone.

- Is that a thing?
- Just bear with us, sir.

It's probably just a mistake. What's the name of your dojo?

el: Cobra Kai.

Ron: Daniel, you made it.

You know I never miss the annual meeting there, Ron.

And boy, am I glad I didn't miss this one.

Well, you're just in time. Uh, Mr. Lawrence here

says his dojo was banned from the tournament.

He wants to re-enter.

Oh, I'm sure he does.

Where the hell is he at?

- I don't know.
- I'm right here.

Hey, don't be sneaking up on me like that, man.

It's good, man. What's up, bro? You got the code?

Yeah, I got it.

- I told you my boy would come through. - Mmm.

What are you waiting on, man? Let's do it, where's the code?

- I can't. - Can't what? Remember the code?

Sorry, I mean I won't. I always get those two confused.

Robby, Robby, come on man. Don't do this.

- Just open the g*dd*mn door.
- It's not gonna happen.

He's really gonna make me have to do this.

Ooh, what, ninja boy teach you some karate or something?

- Dude, you good?
- Watch it, bro!

- Nowhere to run.
- Nowhere to hide.

You better watch your ass.

- Okay, you ready?
- All right, ready?

All right.

- Lonzo Ball with the fadeaway!
- All right, ooh.

- So you're a Lakers fan.
- Yeah.

My family's had season tickets since I was little.

Like, right at half court.

You know, my dad uses them mostly for business and stuff

- anyway, we only go, like, sometimes. - Right.

Well, you know, sometimes I use my
season tickets for business, too.

Entertaining clients, sealing the deal.

It's all really expensive and boring.

Oh, what kind of business are you in?

Ooh, textiles.

You know, some exports, a little imports,

uh, but my real passion lies in the community outreach program.

- That sounds so interesting.
- Mm-hmm, oh, it is.

And what we do is we take underprivileged Encino kids

who can only go to some Lakers games,

and we try to see if we can get them to see more.

- Wow, you are such a philanthropist. - Yeah.

Well, do you want to maybe go to a game with me sometime?

Yeah.

Actually, you know, it would depend on
how close to half-court we're talking.

- Because my seats are pretty close. - Oh, my God!

- Do you have a seating chart?
- Shut up!

If you had a seating chart... All right,
ready, one more. Last sh*t wins.

Oh, my gosh, look at that face!

rge: Therefore, we the All Valley Committee of 1985

issue a lifetime ban on Cobra Kai

for the unethical and unsportsmanlike conduct

shown by Senseis Terry Silver, John Kreese,

- and their student, Mike Barnes. - Well, there you have it.

We're sorry we wasted your time, Mr. Lawrence,

but a lifetime ban is a lifetime ban.

Well, hold on.

Let's hear what the man has to say.

Mr. Lawrence, what is your relationship to this Terry Silver?

Ma'am, I have no idea who that even is.

I'm just a small business owner trying to make a living.

Oh, please, ask him about John Kreese.

John Kreese is dead.

- We're very sorry for your loss. - Give me a break.

- Daniel, show a little respect. - Respect?

Are you kidding me, Sue? You don't know the history here.

John Kreese and Cobra Kai were the embodiment

of everything this tournament stands against,

and this guy, Johnny Lawrence, he was his star pupil.

He's the worst of them all. We'll be dishonoring

the entire sport by reinstating Cobra Kai.

I mean, come on.

Look, I admit Cobra Kai had its share of problems in the '80s.

My sensei didn't always play by the rules.

That's why I left.

But my Cobra Kai is different.

It's a place where kids can come and feel like they belong.

Where they won't get picked on just
because they're a bunch of losers.

Er, because they're unique.

I've watched firsthand as my students have gotten stronger.

Gained confidence.

Learned how to stand up for themselves.

Cobra Kai is making a difference in these kids' lives.

And honestly...

They're making a difference in mine as well.

Thank you.

That doesn't sound at all like the old Cobra Kai.

Badass name for a dojo, by the way.

I think I speak for all of us when I say

the community could use more men like you, Mr. Lawrence.

- Thank you, ma'am.
- All right, this is horseshit.

This guy was the biggest bully in my high school,
and he hasn't changed at all.

I can prove it.

I'm sorry, Mr. Lawrence. I don't know you,

but I do know Daniel LaRusso, and if he says no, I'm with him.

Thank you, George.

Seems the only fair solution is to put this to a vote.

Mr. Lawrence, would you mind waiting
outside while we cast our ballots?

Not at all.

Thank you all for your careful consideration.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just wait outside, all right?

Okay, guys, this sob story, I mean, you were not there.

- So.
- Mm-hmm?

Senor Octopus would like to know if you are better at karate...

- Karate.
- Than you are at mini-golf.

Hmm, okay, I didn't realize the octopus was Hispanic now,

but why don't you tell Senor Octopus that, um...

My sensei says I'm the best student in his class.

- Really, best in his class?
- Mm-hmm, yeah.

You don't believe me? No, no, no, no, no, no.

No, I mean, I didn't say that.

Stand up.

Okay.

All right, here's what we're gonna do.

Get into like a general fighting position.

Mm-hmm, okay. - Just, yeah, leg out, kind of like in an L,

Arm out here, then you want that arm out, yeah.

- Uh-huh.
- There you go.

- Then you kind of position--
- You want to put your hands on my hips?

Uh, no, no, I'm correcting your stance.

Look, this move is really hard,
so if you don't get it on the first time,

don't feel bad--

Holy sh*t, Sam. That was amazing!

What are you-- Oh.

Sensei Sam.

You know, this may be the best date I've ever been on.

Really, because technically, this isn't a date.

Right, not a date.

And that was not a kiss.

Yeah.

Congratulations, Johnny.

- Who's the man?
- I'm the man!

Oh, sh*t, are you the man, too? Tell me you're the man.

- I'm the man!
- Yeah!

- I crushed the date! - I crushed the committee meeting!

- So Cobra Kai's in?
- Hell yeah we're in.

Cobra Kai's back, baby!

All right, I'm gonna grab a soda. Do you want a Banquet?

No, no, this calls for a real toast.

- Oh.
- The good stuff, for real men.

Drink it, it'll put hair on your balls.

- Is that a good thing?
- Yeah, it's a good thing.

Okay, . To Cobra Kai!

Never accept defeat.

If you want to win the All Valley under 18 karate tournament,

you got to give me better than your best.

Go, go, go!

You're the only chance I got at winning this thing.

- Grandma!
- Hey, give me a hug!

- Hey, ma.
- Those Cobra jerks.

Oh, they're nothing but a bunch of bullies.

They can't all be bullies, right?

Promise me you'll stay away from the
kids that are associated with it.

I was looking for Mr. LaRusso, he's been training me.

Then I should thank you. He tried roping me into it.

iel: Look, Robby, I know it's hard growing up without a dad.

Mr. LaRusso, I need to tell you something.

What's so funny?

Oh, nothing, just this funny picture my girlfriend posted.

You're dating a LaRusso?