02x05 - All In

[bunniefuu]

No,
you don't understand.

My son is getting
bullied every day.

Yeah, they call him names.

"Freak," "loser," "shitlip."

It's not right.

You have to do
something about this.

You're gonna make
an announcement?

Don't have them make
an announcement.

Just, please keep
his name out of it.

I don't want him
to be embarrassed.

I'm sure that this will
nip it in the bud.

Uh-huh.

Do you realize
what you've done?

The school needed to know
that this behavior should
not be tolerated.

Don't you get it?
They're never going to stop

making fun of me
because I'm a loser.

That's not true.

Wake up, Mom!

I'm a freak.

I'm never gonna
have any other friends
besides Demetri.

I'm never going to
get a girlfriend,

I'm never going to be
anything other than
a kid with a weird lip!

There you go, brother.

Thanks, Rico.

See you soon, man.

Did you get that for me?

Maybe.

Hey, assh*le twins,
grab my bag. We're out.

The whole fence?

That's like 1,200 square feet.

Actually, times two.
You forgot about
the other side.

Oh, okay, I get it.

You're teaching me
muscle memory.

Do it a bunch of times, develop
unconscious karate techniques.

How about we just
cut to the chase

and you show me the moves?

I'm not exactly
the most flexible.

That's...

And I have a little
trouble maintaining balance.

Hope that's not an issue.

Disproportionate limbs.

That's it, side to side.

Can I at least use a roller?

Left circle,
right circle.

There you go.

What? What?

Splinter.

Ah, it's a big one.

How much longer
are we doing this?

My arms are getting tired
and I've had to pee since
before we started.

You're a little rusty, Sensei.

Okay, pay attention.

He's got my neck,
I've got his elbow.

If I try to break out...

I dig in and I
put him to sleep.

If I go for his ribs...

He completely
exposes his chest.

Two difficult choices.

What do you do?

You damn the consequences
and you power forward.

You may get hurt,

but nobody wins
by doing nothing.

You make a choice,
you make a move,

you go all-in.

Good class today.

You still have a hell
of a roundhouse.

You almost caught me
with that hook.

I think the students got
a lot out of the lesson.

But, of course, the most
important student was absent.

Your boy.

It's not right
that he's over there.

We've talked about this.

Robby wants nothing
to do with me.

I've tried.

You've tried, huh?

So, you just teach
these lessons.

You don't really
take them to heart.

"Go all-in."

Oh, my God.
Yasmine has the same
bikini as me.

Tell her she can
stay in France.

Hey.

Oops.

Must've slipped
out of my hand.

What are you even
doing over there?

Going all-in.

That was my last
mozzarella stick.

Gotta pay
the vig, blood.

What's the matter with you?

Something you should see.

"Very unprofessional sensei."

"Does not take into account
safety or personal boundaries."

"Facility in need
of a major face-lift."

Who the hell does
this guy think he is?

I don't know
if we'll ever use
this in a fight,

but if we're ever forced
into a dance battle,

we're set.

Whoa.

Uh, hey, are we doing
shirts versus skins?

'Cause I prefer to be a shirt.

Not saying that you have
to be a skin.

Unless you want to.

I support your right to choose.

Demetri. Over here.

Hey, Mr. L, before we begin...

What's...

It's a note from my mom
excusing me from any extensive
arm and leg movements.

So, uh,
if there's an alternative
lesson I could do...

Maybe a workbook.

Show me "sand the floor."

You want me
to sand it again?
It's pretty smooth.

No, no, not actually...

The movement.

Show me the movement.
Remember?

You ready?

You kicked me!

Why didn't you
block, Demetri?

You know this.
This is the
muscle memory.

In case you haven't noticed,
I don't have muscles.

Do you want
to be here, Demetri?

Not really.

Then why are you here?

My whole life I've been,
let's just say,
less than popular.

But at least
I had a few friends.

And then Cobra Kai
comes to town,

and next thing I know,
my friends are taking karate

and becoming alpha jerks.

I'm literally
being threatened
by my best friend.

I just wanted to show
I could fight back.

Look, I understand
what you're going through.

I do.

But Miyagi-Do isn't
about showing off.

It's about...

Self-defense. I know.

Problem is,
my self is too weak.

Hey, excuse me.
Do you know what happened
to the people who live here?

Excuse me, hablas English?

Hey, it's Jen. Talk some words.
Maybe I'll call you back.

Oh-ho-ho.
Sweet man bun.

I told you it was
a horrible picture.

You know, if you were friends
with me at the time,

I could have warned you
that this was a fad.

Yeah, well, I'm stuck
with it for five years,
so no biggie, right?

Wait.

"Robert Swayze Keene"?

My mom was a huge
fan of Patrick Swayze.
He was an actor in the '80s.

Yeah, like I haven't
seen Dirty Dancing,
like, 100 times.

My mom made me
watch it all the time.

Made you?

Okay, maybe I liked it.

I'm more partial
to his performance
in Donnie Darko.

Interesting movie.

Mmm, time travel logic
left a lot to be desired.

Wait. Is today Wednesday?

Yeah.

Mmm-hmm.

The new issue of
Dungeon Lord came out.

Um, do you guys want anything
from the comic book store?

Um, no, thanks.

Okay, uh, I'll be right back.
Make sure no one throws
away my chicken.

You want the rest
of this brownie sundae?

I'm not gonna lie to you,
I already ate the brownie

and the whipped cream
and most of the hot fudge.

So, you saved me
the melted ice cream?

Yeah, the best part.

Seriously.
What are you working on?

Um...

Is it something dirty?
Show me.

No, it's nothing dirty.

Come on.

I could use a girl's opinion
on this actually.

But you have to promise
not to laugh.

I can't make that promise.

Ta-da.

♪ I know there's something

♪ In the wake of your smile

The song is this '80s band...

Shh!

♪ I get a notion

♪ From the look
In your eyes, yeah

Is that...

Yes, my ex, Sam.

Oh, wait,
watch this right here.

♪ Listen to your heart...

Sam and I have this thing
for octopuses. Or octopi.

It's kind of like
our relationship mascot.

♪ Listen to your heart ♪

So, what do you think?

I think you should
delete that.

Put it in the trash,
empty the bin and have
your laptop cremated.

It's that bad?

It makes you look desperate.

Well, I am desperate.

Yeah, but girls aren't
into desperate guys.

Well, then how am I
supposed to let
her know how I feel?

You don't.
You have to act like
you're totally over her.

Like you don't care.

Then she'll want you back.

And you know how
to get over her?

Have a little fun.

And I know just the place.

Don't you worry,
Mrs. Goodwin.

Jason here has an E-Class
ready for you so you can
get on with your day.

Afternoon,
welcome to LaRusso,
North Hollywood.

Where's Robby?

Oh, wait a minute, it's you.

You know I almost d*ed
up on that billboard
'cause of the sh*t you pulled?

You owe me a new pair
of oxfords, pal.

Look, man, I'm not
in the mood, all right?

I've been to three
of these damn LaRusso
dealerships already.

They said Robby's
been working here.
Just tell me where he is.

Hmm...

I'm sorry.
I can't do that.

Look, I know you
and Daniel have beef.

He kicked your ass
in high school,
you've been stewing,

but I got enough
crap to deal with

without getting involved
in your little karate
soap opera, so...

Whoa! Whoa!

Okay, okay, okay.

Now you put your hands on me.
This is not a dojo.

This is the real world.
You don't just throw
people around.

This is a place
of business, okay? Ow!

Where's Robby?

Jesus Christ.

I don't know, he's not here.

Probably Daniel's house.
He moved in.

He lives with the LaRussos?

The Warlock
of Narfoor's back?
He just d*ed.

Have some continuity.

Still can't wait to read
that new issue, huh?

Nice hair. What is this,
your Red Hulk phase?

I saw your Yelp review.

Take it down.

And ruin my
journalistic integrity?

Look, I'm sorry,
but someone had
to say something.

And besides, taking it down
could hurt my Yelp
Elite status.

I said take it down.

You think I'm afraid of you?

I know who you really are,

Eli.

So, why don't you,
Rocksteady and Bebop

just leave me alone, okay?

Great. So, this is
what it's come to.

g*ng as*ault.

Take it down
or we take you down.

You'd actually hurt me?

Well, guess what?

You're not the only one
that knows karate.

I just joined Miyagi-Do.

All right.
Let's see what you got.

Hey!
What's going on
back there?

Get him!

♪ Young heart is hard to hold

♪ It's young and time

♪ Time for w*r

♪ Danger! No freedom from

sh*t!

♪ No shelter
Is easy to come... ♪

What the...

Sorry!

Where'd he go?

Come on, man.

We don't have to do this.
I think he learned his lesson.

And who told you to think?

Fan out.

Come on.

Right. Of course they left.

It didn't have to
be this way.

You could've joined Cobra Kai
if you weren't such a p*ssy.

At least I'm not an assh*le.

You're dead meat.

Get back. You guys
need to back off.

I don't want to
have to hit a girl.

You wouldn't stand a chance.

Five against three?

More like two and a half.

Demetri, look out!

No, no, no, no.

We saved your chicken.

Thanks.

You have my kid
in your house?

Johnny?

Oh, hey, Carmen.

Got your washing
machine there?

Uh, yeah.

Are you all right?

Oh, yeah,
I'm good, I'm good.

How are you?

You've been drinking?

Uh...

Okay.

Um...

Come, come. Come in.

All right.

We'll go to your place?

Mmm-hmm.

It's like we were
back at the pond.

You went left...

And you went right.

Yeah.

And I can't believe
how high you got
off that table.

Hey, hey, hey,
Mom told me.
You guys okay?

Yeah. Yeah,
Dad, we're fine.

All right, good. Good.

What... What happened?

Well, they were gonna
hurt Demetri.

We had to do something.

Are you mad at us?

Oh...

No, I'm not mad.

I'm proud of you.

Karate isn't only
about self-defense.
It's about protecting others.

Just don't give me
a heart att*ck like that
ever again, all right?

I mean, just 'cause
we train to fight, doesn't mean
I wanna see you in a fight.

And you.

I'm glad you're part
of this family.

I heard you ran the 100-yard
dash in under ten seconds.

Some people learn
faster than others.

Don't be discouraged.

Come on. Let's face the facts.

I can't sand the floor,
I can't wax on,
I can barely wax off.

Meanwhile, we've got Jon Snow
and Daenerys Targaryen in there

and I'm just...

Sam Tarly.

Sam Tarly did k*ll
a White Walker.

You watch Game of Thrones?

Oh, I am so down with GoT.

And if it's taught us anything,

it's that anyone
could be the hero.

Right?

Come on, show me
sand the floor.

Here?

Yep. It's as good a place
as any. Come on.

Now, we're gonna
take it nice and slow.

Okay? Bow to me.

Sand the floor.

Look at my eyes.
Sand the floor.

Other side.

Nice.

You b*at up Demetri
over a Yelp review?

What the hell were you
even thinking?

He joined Miyagi-Do.

So what?

He's your friend.

He's a f*cking nerd!

And he'll always be a nerd.

You know what?

I like this.

And I like these.

But I'm not dating a bully.

Where are you going?

We're done.

No, we're not.

This means forever.

And I didn't ask you
to do that.

Hey.

Hey!

You get into a fight?

With Miyagi-Do.

We lost.

No, you didn't.

The fight is only over
when you say it is.

Sounds like you
and this Daniel guy
have a lot of issues.

Issues.

You don't know
the half of it.

He's been a thorn in my side
since high school.

What did he do
to you in high school?

Let's just say he made
my life miserable.

And now, he moves
my son into his house.

I just want to finish this.

I, uh, understand
that you're angry.

This man sounds
like a real jerk.

The worst.

But the toll it's going
to take on you, Johnny,

it's not worth it.

These things don't
end well. Trust me.

I've seen it
with my own eyes.

My ex-husband
had many enemies.

The only way to end a rivalry

is for someone
to rise above it.

You have to be
the bigger man.

- Ready?
- Three, two, one, go!

Oh, my gosh.
You are insane.

Yeah, I heard that before.

So dizzy.

You're having
fun, right?

Yes, I am having fun.

You know, when you said
you had a place to go,

I figured it'd be some place
where you needed a fake ID.

Yeah, we can go
somewhere like that.

My girlfriend bartends
at this place
over on Cahuenga.

No, no, no, no. I kind of dig
the abandoned playground vibes.

It looks like an awesome place

to fight off
a zombie apocalypse.

sh*t, what time is it?

What are we...

Wait for it.

Holy sh*t!
That was awesome.

Every night,
10:36 on the dot.

It's the last flight
out of Burbank.

Whoa...

Sam and I once went
to this ice cream
shop in Burbank...

Oh, my God.

You were on such a roll.

You went like almost an hour
without mentioning her.

Yeah, I'm sorry.

Uh...

Sensei just said to go
all-in and make a move,

and I'm still trying
to figure out
what that means.

Well, I think it means
exactly what it sounds like.

Yeah?

Make a move.

Still up, too, huh?

Too much adrenaline.

You want a s'more?

Never say no
to free marshmallows.

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Are you making a s'more
with a peanut butter cup?

I call them "sand-mores."
I'm kind of a genius.

Ooh! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

I'm sorry.

No. No, it's okay.

No, I mean, you gotta
understand, I've...

I've been in a bad situation
for a long time.

And now finally, something
good's happening and...

I can't mess it up.

Not that you'd be
messing it up,
but your dad, he...

I understand.

Well, this just got awkward.

Yep.

Let's finish the fight.

They even took Mr. Miyagi's
Medal of Honor.

Dad?

Choose.

Oh, no.

Mr. LaRusso?

Dad, where are you going?

Nice work, Diaz.

Bow. Go again.

The hell do you think
you're doing?

Like you don't know.

Take your shoes off the mat.
You're disrespecting my dojo.

You're seriously
gonna talk to me
about disrespecting dojos

after what you just
did to mine?

I don't know what the hell
you're talking about.

I didn't do anything
to your dojo.

Just like you didn't slug
one of my employees, huh?

You know, part of me actually
felt bad for you at one point,

but you make it so easy
to remember who the bad
guy is in all of this.

You call yourself a sensei?
You don't even know
what a sensei is.

A sensei mentors.
A sensei elevates.

He doesn't teach
destruction and disrespect!

I already said I don't know
what you're talking
about, LaRusso.

And you don't know what
you're talking about either.

Yeah, well,
I know you don't...

You don't earn a Medal of Honor
by stealing it.

Let me tell you something
about your sensei.

He might teach you
how to fight,

but he doesn't know
a thing about what it
takes to truly win at life.

If you want to help yourselves
before it's too late,

the doors of Miyagi-Do?
Wide open.

You come in here
and poach my students?

And what are you gonna
do about it?

You know I'm not gonna
strike first.

I'm gonna be a bigger man.

Yeah.

We'll see about that.

Where do you
think you're going?

What the hell, Chris?

I never liked it here.

Who trashed
the Miyagi dojo?

I want you to figure out
who did it.

I gotta go deal
with something.

Can you man the fort?

Of course.

Come back for
another b*ating?

Robby.

This is one of the guys
who was b*ating on Demetri.

We just want to
learn Miyagi-Do karate.

It doesn't matter
who anyone was before
they stepped into this dojo.

We are all Miyagi-Do.

You are all Cobra Kai.

You're about to begin
your real training.