03x04 - Hands Across Madre Linda

[bunniefuu]

[Joe] Previously on You:

[Goodwin] It's been three days
since the disappearance of Natalie Engler.

- Falco.
- We found the ring.

Okay.

Love, this is my son, Theo.

Didn't know you had a son.

I'm still very unclear
as to why you decided to volunteer here.

I'm at the hospital.
Henry has the measles.

- Who do you think it was?
- Not closed yet, are you?

Can't tell you
how sorry we are for exposing Henry.

We hope you won't hold it against us.

- Hey, Gil.
- Yep?

[Joe]
Well, this came sooner than expected.

The proverbial paint is hardly dry.

Breathing.

It's more than I can say for Natalie.
Meaning, you did the right thing.

Controlled your impulses.

So I won't be frustrated
with you, Love. No.

This is growth,

and it's important I show you
I recognize it...

No. Appreciate it.

I'll set aside the fact that we're using
our son's baby monitor as surveillance.

It's twisted but smart.

[Gil groaning]

[Joe] Hey, Gil. Hey, buddy.

Hey there.

Hey.

She hit me.

[groaning]

I'm so sorry.

"Slipped and hit your head" is
off the table.

Your wife. She knocked me out.

[Joe] Can't say it was a shock.

I was shocked.

I said, "Gil? Nice guy Gil?"

'Course she told me what you said.

Not that it justified what she did.
The thing is, if you could have seen...

what she went through
in the hospital with our baby...

Here.

Still, she should not have done this.

That's for sure.

It's a proofing room.
Something about temperature and humidity.

Keeps the dough from getting a tough skin.
I'm not sure I understand any of it.

That's Margaret with her gardening.

Seeds and soil pH and...

[Joe] Friendly chatter's
a reflex with this guy.

You may have assaulted the one person
who might give us a pass for this.

Love and I are very embarrassed.

Is there any chance
we could keep this between us?

We will not tell a soul
how you recklessly endangered our son.

- I don't know I would put it like that.
- No? How?

Well, it's just... No judgment.

But to dose an infant
with chemicals we know nothing about?

- I mean, I call that reckless.
- Hmm.

Actually, your son has naturally
gained immunity, so...

I'd say it was beneficial.

[knuckles cracking]

You know what? I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry, I get carried away.
- No, no, no.

You might be right, yeah.

- Our child is fine.
- Yeah.

Here.

Here, let me help you up.

[Gil grunts]

Ooh.

So, what do you say, bygones?

Okay.

Sure. Bygones.

[Joe] He's lying.

- Are you absolutely sure?
- [Gil] I'm cool!

I'm cool. Let me out, please?

No doubt. He'll go straight to the police.

- f*ck.
- Guys, let's be grown-ups about this!

- Now what?
- Come on!

Here we go. Coming in hot, Henry. Hey.

[sputtering] Got to bank to the left.
Here. Open. There we go.

Peek in our window,
you see your typical suburban family

having a typical morning.

You know, it can be blissful...

watching our son discover
the pleasures of sweet potatoes.

All I really need.

I did have a thought.

Mutually-assured destruction.

Get something that he doesn't want
anyone else to know about

and he can't expose us.

- He opens his mouth, we open ours.
- Worked for me once before.

It would have, Benji.

- He may look like a choirboy...
- So did Dahmer.

[Joe] A plan in place,
a Monday's worth of returns.

I got lots of time to learn what Gil's
hiding behind the Mr. Rogers persona.

Okay. All right. So Google
out of my boss's eagle-eyeline.

Kids are gonna commit hara-kiri.

No child sacrifice in the library, please.

Gil is MIA. He was our reader today,

and I told Lansing
I'd run the boys to the dentist.

- [Joe] He did not just say "Gil."
- That's so not like Gil.

He's their favorite. Man's a saint.

[Joe] Except for that one dark thing
about him that Dante knows?

You know better than that.
Not even the saints were saints.

Hey, sorry. I couldn't help but overhear.

- I could read to the kids.
- I've got it.

Okay.

Joe Goldberg? Hi.
Did I know you work here?

[Joe] Did I know you had
your breasts enhanced in ?

Vlogged your recovery
from Adderall addiction?

Brother's a roadie
for Seconds of Summer?

Cool to post this?

[Gil over phone] This is stupid!

Hey, hello? Hey!

- Hey, you...
- I could have one of everything.

Well, I wouldn't tell.

But my ass would.

God, I envy you, Love.

I have so many photo sh**t,
next thing you know,

people will be calling me "brave"
and then unfollowing

'cause I'm no longer aspirational.
[chuckles]

Mind if I post this?

Oh.

Perfect. Okay, ciao.

Ciao.

[door opens, then bells chiming]

- f*ck.
- [Joe] Love, listen.

[Love] That ring, it was supposed
to look like she left it there,

then moved on,
but of course they want to look there.

- What if we missed something else?
- We control what we can.

We keep up appearances.

We volunteer to help with the search.

- God.
- It's gonna be okay.

Okay.

I'll see you at home.

[Joe] A man in a cage is a problem.

Few hundred citizens combing the woods

where we buried
and exhumed Natalie Engler?

Full-stop crisis.

[Theo]
I don't understand why I would go to this!

- [Matthew] Theo, can you be reasonable?
- You can't make me volunteer!

- That's implied in the word "volunteer"...
- Theo! Keep your voice down.

Dad, they're making you look pathetic.

I am not going.

When you're ready to talk like a person
above the age of , I'll be inside.

Hey, was the idea to be so loud,
the whole neighborhood could hear?

'Cause that was gauche.
You sounded like a brat.

You little peeping Tom. You spying on me?

[Love chuckles]

What's up with all the dad theatrics?

Um...

So, apparently, Sherry Conrad
and her creepy little squad

are teaming up with the cops
to go search some state park

to, like, I don't know,
find Natalie out there stacking rocks?

You don't want to join?

I've been waiting
for this opportunity to join a cabal

of soulless, bulimic yoga moms.
I think it's my calling.

They're convinced that he k*lled her.

I don't want him helping
the villagers sharpen their pitchforks.

You should go. Optics are a thing.
If you don't go, both of you look bad.

Hey, hey, hey.

I will be your search buddy. Hmm?

[gasps]

Tie my shoes and everything?

If necessary.

Brat.

Hey, you should get this fixed by the way.

[Joe] This "Hands Across
Madre Linda" exercise in the woods

has me dangerously distracted.

What if we did leave something
for John and Betty Volunteer to find?

But we weren't careless, were we?

Focus! One thing at a time.

Need to find Gil's fatal flaw.

"Geology rocks." "Schist happens."

If I've mined anything, it's that
"Rock Star" Professor Gil Brigham

has a taste for geologist humor.

Once taught at Burgess College
in Columbus, Ohio.

Left in his second year. In October. Hmm.

It's abrupt.

Did he transgress with a co-ed?

"Sophomore Burgess student
victim of campus att*ck."

Could it be...?

Hmm.

Four hours in
and the only fault I can find

is Gil's sense of humor.

Spotless academic career, church,
a dedication to his kids so deep

he may be the inspiration
for those World's Greatest Dad mugs.

Never misses a game, a birthday...

Look, he volunteers
at the children's ward...

And sh*t! The library.

Better account for today.

Sorry to miss today. A little work crisis.

Sorry to disappoint the kids.

- [Marienne] Who are we stalking?
- Hey.

- No, no, I'm just...
- You seen Peer Gynt?

[Joe] Yes. In that I stole it for Ellie.

Yeah, I may have taken it home for a read.

You took a -dollar book
that isn't supposed to leave?

You know how when you know a rule exists,

but you don't think it applies to you

because you're quick
and careful, and you work here.

For those of us who didn't grow up
with first editions for coasters...

I'm sorry,
you think that I come from money?

Look what you've done to me, Love.
I smell like the rich now.

Just let me say this.

There were no first editions
on the shelves growing up

because there were no... shelves.

- Right. You were poor.
- Practically homeless.

A bookstore owner took me in
and let me work for free,

and I slept in a cage in his basement.

No, wait. Marienne, hang on.
Wait, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. Stop. That crossed the line.
It was an exaggeration.

We straddled the poverty line
my entire childhood,

and I escaped with books.

I learned all about them,

like you wanna know everything
about that one beautiful thing.

It saves your miserable life.

So I...

I misjudged a little, maybe.

Generally, my favorite apologies
are stiff and grudging...

Fair.

I'm sorry.

Ah...

And I guess I might have
to like you after all, Goldberg.

- Perish the thought.
- Hmm.

Since we're friends now,
what else did you take?

[Joe] A Dickens, a Shelley,
a signed early Strand.

- Nothing.
- Mm-hm.

Make sure that's still true
when I look real hard tomorrow.

Okay?

- [Gil] Thought we had a deal!
- We did. I'm sorry.

You know, you can't keep me in here
like some animal.

People know that I was coming here.
So you can let me out or the police can.

- When they come looking...
- No one's gonna save you. We...

We already made excuses on your behalf.

Uh...

I'm sorry, Gil.
I want to let you out, man.

I won't tell a soul.

I promise.

I told you, we can keep this between us.

Say...

we knew something about you.

Something you really don't want
anyone to know.

Right, I see.

Okay, I keep your secret, you keep mine.

And this time,
you'll keep your end of the deal?

Yes.

Okay. Okay.

Just... Give me a minute to think.

I got it!

Okay, listen.

Couple years back, our church group went
to a festival for Christ in Vegas.

[Joe] Christ? Vegas?
Strong starter ingredients.

We raised funds for the Santoses,

who'd lost their home to a fire.

And now, there's this woman, Cheryl.

[Joe] Christ. Vegas. Cheryl.

Real, you know, fun-lover.
You know the type.

Anyway, everyone else had gone to bed,

but she and I have
a little more in our tanks.

So...

So we take the dollars
that we'd raised, and...

[Joe] A room with a pile of blow
and a dominatrix dressed as a nun.

Why didn't I start here this morning?

We put it all on red.

And lost.

That sucks. Then what?

Then we had to recoup it
from our own savings that Monday.

- That's it?
- "That's it?"

- We gambled and lost the Santoses' money.
- And you returned it... It was a Monday?

Yeah, but we lied.

You know, we were selfish.

If people knew that, are you kidding me?

Okay.

Okay, fine. I slept with her.

I did.

Real rough-style too.

- Can you define "rough style"?
- You know, when...

I'm trying to give you something.

- Got to do better, Gil.
- f*ck!

f*ck.

So I managed to rolling-pin
the only saint in Madre Linda?

Not even the saints are saints.

But, look, I... I don't know.

My mom's taking Henry tomorrow.

- With everything...
- It's a good idea.

[reporter on TV]
"Committee to Find Natalie Engler"

is organizing a search party in
Redwood State Park, which is Natalie's...

Better give her a frozen one.

In case of an earthquake, right? Or...

we're taken in for questioning.

Joe?

- Tell me not to panic.
- There's nothing for them to find.

What if they do?

What if they get a search warrant
or they start looking around?

"What's in this basement?"

[Joe] Why is it feeling
like this has become my fault?

[boy] It's your fault
your mommy left you here, Goldberg.

We need to get rid of Gil.

We can't have this hanging over our heads.

I know.

Okay, so we built the cage
so that we could stop and think.

What if we've done that and now...?

- What? And now what?
- [boy] What you gonna do, Goldberg?

He's gonna cry.

Just like he cries for his mommy
in bed very night.

[boys laughing]

We didn't want... to do this.

- We did this to protect our family.
- [Sandy] It had to be done.

You were protecting me.
You're a good boy, Joey.

What if the only option is for Gil to...?

[boy] She's not coming for you.

No one is coming to save you.

Yeah.

Give me a better idea.

- I can't believe you're saying this.
- I'm just asking questions.

You're saying, "I don't know."

You hit him and put him in a cage
when we could've...

- Sued him.
- The cage was your idea.

- No, no, no. We are not going to...
- How...?

You are not making me k*ll anyone!

We are not doing that to our son.

I shouldn't.

Not exactly getting my run in down here.

Used to be my son Alan and I
got out there every morning.

Before he went off to Dartmouth.

- He'd get a kick out of this.
- He would?

Come on. His pops knocked down a peg?

You know...

sons and their fathers.

Yeah, I'm new to it.

You kidding?
This idea that you have to mold them

into a good strong man...

How'd you?

Mm.

I came to realize it's a lot simpler
than I was making it.

Here's what you do as a parent:

You keep them healthy and safe
and be a good person.

That's it. Protect, be good,
get out of the way.

To be honest, I'm jealous.

You have it all ahead of you.

Hey, um...

whatever happens here,
I just hope I get to see them again.

...hoping we can buy another acres
of this wonderful property on the coast

that apparently gets
this great fog Pinot thrives in.

Sweetie, hand me
those fleece-y p.j.'s in case it's cold.

Butt Paste. He's been a bit red lately.
So I'm gonna...

Worried?
If you think this vineyard business

is going to jeopardize the bakery,
it's the opposite.

- This is how empires are born.
- Yeah, it's actually not that. I, um...

Does Dad still have that guy Cy?

Probably has that little snake digging
into me right now.

Why, what's up?

I know it was something.

Oh, it's no big. I just...

I got a weird vibe from the guy
I rent the bakery from.

I wanna make sure he's legit.
I don't want to put in all of this work

just to have the property seized
by the IRS.

I'll get you his number.

I did something you're not gonna
be totally... psyched about.

Try me.

My mom...

gave me a number for a guy
that my dad uses to look into people.

You involved your family?

I didn't tell them anything. Okay?

I contacted him directly.
I didn't tell him why. He's discreet.

- You're mad at me anyway.
- I'm not mad. I'm worried.

I'm worried.

- That we can't deal with this?
- That you'll hate me

if we don't do it the right way.

The look on your face when you said
you thought Henry would be hurt if...

I'm sorry. I...

I scared you.

No.

Joe...

it broke my heart.

I see how hard
you're trying to be a good dad.

You're scared one little move is
gonna magically f*ck it all up.

No, I know it's not magic
because I saw it growing up, how...

What kids are exposed to sticks.
Fucks them up for life.

You've been through a lot.
You're not f*cked up for life.

I know.

But I don't wanna roll the dice
with Henry.

I... You know I understand.

I think about it with Forty.
If he'd grown up differently, maybe...

I get it.

I'm just...

trying to fix this.

Hey.

I love you.

[cell phone buzzing]

Hey, Cy.
No, of course I'm not busy. What is it?

Really?

Oh, that's rich.

I cheated to get my son
into Dartmouth? Why?

Alan is a stellar student.
Not the world's best test-taker...

Dartmouth received perfect test scores
from your son.

No. He got in on his GPA,
his essay and community service.

And his perfect SAT score.
And there's also...

Yeah, all-American water polo
until a career-ending injury.

- That isn't my son's transcript.
- No? 'Cause there's also this.

That's K you donated
to a Bennett's Fund

to help underprivileged kids have
a sh*t at college.

- [Joe] You're good at this.
- What's that got to do with anything?

There is no Bennett's Fund.
Or there is, but for kids like Alan.

[Joe] Disturbingly good.

That's , to a Frye family

whose all-star cheerleader Vicky
graduated with Alan.

What? Did they agree to vouch
they build houses in Haiti or some sh*t?

Wait, wait, wait.

- Wait a second.
- What?

You had no idea, did you?

Why...?

Why would my wife...?

Oh, God.

Oh, no.

Alan.

Not again.

He promised he would be good.

[Joe] This is worse
than some college scandal.

Alan did something to this Vicky.

It was a payoff.

His beloved Alan is a very bad young man
who hurts girls.

It was Alan in Ohio, right?

The girl who was att*cked...

sexually assaulted.

The reason you left.

And he did it again.

I believed
that it was just a onetime mistake.

I made my mistakes at that age, so I...

I did nothing.

Now another girl got hurt.

I made poor Margaret feel
like she had to do all this.

[Joe] Gil said fatherhood was
just about protecting them

and getting out of the way,

but that's clearly not enough
to keep his son from going wrong.

Which is terrifying
but also exactly what we needed

to get Gil to play ball.

Our next move is to propose
his imminent relocation from Madre Linda.

Too bad for Ellie, my boss busted me,
so this book's back to the library.

I'll try again.

Now, as for Gil,
I wonder if he's marinated long enough.

What? No. No, no, no.

[shouting]

Oh, my God!

Get it off. Get it off him.

- Get it off him!
- I'm trying!

I'm trying. I'm trying.

[Love speaking indistinctly]

[Love]
Joe, we can't just sit here all night.

I... I need you to talk to me.

We need to do something about this.
We need to come up with some plan.

Joe, I really need you to listen to me.

Joe.

Joseph Quinn-Goldberg!

Hey.

This is not our fault.

He did this.

It was his decision.

We did everything to keep our promise.

Why the f*ck did he have to...

k*ll himself? Oh, my God.

He's already ruined his family.

[cell phone buzzes]

f*ck.

The search is starting soon.

Okay, okay.

I will make an appearance for us.

And then I will be back
as soon as I can. Okay?

Okay.

Okay, okay, okay.

Oh, my God.

Joe.

I have a plan.

[indistinct chatter]

[woman] In case you find something.

[Sherry clearing throat over bullhorn]

Hi, can you guys hear me okay? Hi.

Okay. Fine.

Thank you all for showing up.

If I may say on behalf
of Natalie's beautiful family,

we are so grateful

to each and every one of you.

Natalie is a fixture of Madre Linda.

We need her,

and now she needs us.

[sobbing] So good luck out there and...

Sorry.

Hashtag, "Natalie, come home."

[crowd applauding]

[Joe] The story you came up with, Love,
is fit for a steamy psychodrama.

Gil Brigham,
Madre Linda's answer to Ned Flanders,

had a secret.

But it was when you used
the phrase "two birds, one stone"

that I saw your true brilliance.

Two bodies, one story,
if we get this part right.

And we will. I will.

I have to.

It's on me to protect you and Henry.

There's no one else who will.

Here are your flags. Drop them as you go.

Hi, Matthew.

Hello.

- How are you holding up?
- Hmm.

I never really know
how to answer that question

when I'm out searching for my wife.

It's your... I'm sorry. I was just...
I just wanted to know...

I'm sorry this is happening.

I really am.

Well, I guess I have you to thank.

For getting Theodore to come.
He told me you talked to him.

- He called you a kind person.
- I barely said anything. I just...

He seems like a good kid.

Excuse me.

Yo, why is everyone so scared
of Sherry Conrad?

She is f*cking pathetic, right?

I hear that her husband,

he has to take pharmaceutical molly
just so he can get it up for her.

Yeah.

Oh, and please tell me
you saw that speech, right?

I have to pee. Be right back.

Okay.

[dramatic music playing]

Awful, you know?

But if I was married
to a robot like Matthew Engler,

probably disappear too.

[all laughing]

- Did you forget your bullhorn, Sherry?
- Theo!

If you have a theory,
make sure everyone hears it.

Everyone knows what you're doing.

You're trying to cash in
on someone else's tragedy,

- so you can sell your vegan panties...
- Hey! Theo!

And get all these likes on Instagram.

Count to ten, okay? Relax.

[thunder rumbling]

Hey, Sherry, are you okay?

He's having a very hard day.
He doesn't mean it.

Right, Theo?

You've done so much.

How about we just get back to it?

- Thank you.
- Of course.

Let's go.

- So that happened.
- "A hard day"?

f*cking seriously?

[thunder crashing]

[door opens]

[Fiona] Does it hurt, Joe?

No idea why they did this to you?

It doesn't matter.

Counselors say I'm a lost cause.
I heard them.

Hey, no, no.

No kid is a lost cause.

Especially not you.

You know, if I were to adopt,
I would want an older kid.

You know why?
Because... you know who they are.

The whole messy truth.

And that's beautiful and worthwhile.

And exactly what I would want in my life.

No matter what happened in the past,

someone out there will want you too.
You're a good kid.

[car alarm chirps]

Excuse me, sir.

You calling Uber?

It's gonna rain. Get in.

[cell phone buzzes]

Is that your best friend Sherry?

You know, it is really hard to stay mad

at the one person
that I can actually stand talking to.

Hmm. Stepdad still a brick wall?

He's got a lot going on.

But he's not a m*rder*r.

Hey, how did you deal with it?

Like...

all the attention and the rubbernecking?

- You mean, about my brother?
- Yeah.

- I read the Vanity Fair article, so...
- Mm-hm.

He insisted that I cut his hair because
I was the only one that did it right.

And he loved the Ninja Turtle movie.

Uh, he always wanted to fast-forward
where the red one got hurt

because it made him too sad.

The sh*t that doesn't sell magazines.

The part where he was
a whole f*cking human being.

The big,

beautiful, sensitive f*cking heart.

He was the only person
who ever really knew me.

You know...

publicity...

it has a way of flattening.

Flattening you
and the people you love into types.

And it's really hard because nobody
will ever let you forget what happened.

Yeah.

Rain snuck up on us.

If it clears up soon,
we'll send people back out.

You can be honest.
Today accomplished absolutely nothing.

Besides something exciting
for the social media feeds

of people that barely knew my wife.

The search was always a long sh*t,

and you had no belief whatsoever
we'd find anything. None.

I've seen everything
up to this point, okay?

And, yes, usually, you're right.

Which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I mean, if we did find something...

It would probably be something
that indicated she's not alive anymore.

I know this is hard.

And I'd just say to you,
let us keep working.

- [dogs barking]
- [whistles blowing]

[dramatic music playing]

[Joe] Dearest Megy,

my heart aches as I write this.

[Gil] You stood by me in spite of my flaws

and Lord knows you don't deserve
what I've done to you.

I strayed. No excuse.

Idiot me thought Natalie could
provide something I was missing.

When it became clear
she'd never belong exclusively to me,

I lost control.

I do not know what came over me.

Next thing I knew, I was standing there,
with an a*, her body on the ground.

And when I put her in the ocean,

I felt like I was possessed
by someone else.

But I am guilty all the same,
and I can't live with what I've done.

I'm sorry I hurt you.
And I'm sorry you found me like this.

I failed all of you. But especially Alan.

Didn't want to see in him
what I saw in myself.

Maybe you can mold him into a better man.

Tell him and the girls I love them.

And know that I love you, Megy.

More than you'll ever know.

[Joe] Forgive me,

Your Gily.

Yeah, well, someone wrote a think piece
about my parents' divorce.

Yeah.

It was about the first wives
of tech superstars

and how Silicon Valley discards women.

Thought that was the worst thing
that ever happened to me.

Yeah, look at you now.
Got a family tragedy all your own.

I'm not trying to sound flip. It's just...

- Welcome to the club.
- Mm. Do I get a gift bag?

Or does terrible family tragedy
make people more fuckable?

'Cause... Could really use
a silver lining.

Um...

In my experience, yes, but...

you end up resenting
the people who think that f*cking you

was somehow gonna make them
more interesting.

Like it's gonna rub off on them
or something.

Don't let people like that define you.

Find the people that get you.

Lean on them.

Forty... My brother, he never really...

got that.

So how do you know who those people are?

You just do.

Um...

- Don't do that.
- Yep.

[cell phone buzzing]

Oh, sh*t. I got a text from my dad.

Whoa. They think they found something.

They think they might have just found
a m*rder w*apon.

Morning, everybody.

I'm Detective Falco
with the Madre Linda Police Department.

There's been a development
in the Natalie Engler investigation.

New evidence points to a suspect
in her disappearance

- and potentially her m*rder.
- [Joe] We are hardly criminal masterminds.

Gily?

I got your text, honey.

I don't know why you insisted
on the kids staying with my mother.

[Joe] But sometimes
all it takes is a good story.

Make it solid, sexy, relatable.

Give them just enough evidence.

[reporter] It has come to our attention
that Mrs. Engler

was involved
in an extramarital relationship

with Madre Linda resident Gil Brigham,

a professor at Stanford University.

In a letter, Mr. Brigham confessed
he m*rder*d Mrs. Engler and disposed...

[Joe] And the town of Madre Linda settles
into begrudging acceptance

that the sordid tale
of suburban ennui, sex and m*rder

has come to an end

'cause, well, what bored suburbanite
isn't gonna buy that?

We did it, Love.

Let's be honest,
rebuilding the cage was crazy.

Could've really backfired.
And yet it worked.

We slowed down.

Reflected.

Responded.

Proved we're a team. For Henry.

[engine starting]

You look terrible, Herr Gynt.

Oh.

- Sorry, a lot of long nights.
- Yeah, it's fine.

Dante was an absolute liability
when their younger was small.

Just forgot the Dewey Decimal System,

despite it literally being printed
on every aisle, in Braille.

[Joe] She's being nice to me.

Weird to think disclosing
one's sh*t childhood could do that.

Hers must not have been
exactly roses either.

You have a kid, right?

- Mm-hm.
- How do you balance it?

She's with her dad these days.

[Joe] And she throws that away. Curious.

Guess I don't need to ask if you've heard

about the whole awful Gil Brigham thing.

Yeah. Yeah, it's terrible.

Truly.

Does mean we need a new reader.

- You still interested?
- Sure.

- Of course.
- Great.

Oh, and I have a new rec for you.

David Copperfield.

You know, hardscrabble orphan
down on his luck.

Figured you could relate.

[Joe] She's teasing me, isn't she?

- Ha.
- Anyway, if you wanted to apply

your wizard-level book repair skills,
have at it.

[Joe] It's almost like
you're flirting with me?

No. No, you wouldn't.
Well, not consciously.

This necklace thing, nervous habit?

Why would you be nervous unless...?
It couldn't be about me. Could it?

You okay there, Joe?

[Joe] Oh, sh*t. What was I just doing?

- I'm totally fine.
- Great.

[Joe] I cannot be thinking
about you like this. No.

No, no, no. This is bad.

[theme music playing]