04x02 - You Can't Go Home Again

[bunniefuu]

[GAME CHIMING]

[GAME OVER NOISE]

Ah...

[GAME RESTARTS]

[GAME CHIMING]

[WHISPERS]: Get down.

I don't know about this.

Dude, this isn't exactly
my idea of fun, either.

But these dicks illegally towed my baby

- from an overnight zone.
- Fine.

But if I'm gonna do this,
then you can at least tell me

where you disappeared
to after your party.

I didn't disappear.

I went home with someone, okay?

Who?

- Stephen?
- [SIGHS] No.

Don't tell me that you got
back together with Amy...

Can we just focus on the
felony that we're about to commit?

Please?

[PHONE BUZZING]

That your mysterious someone?

Hey, Michaela. It's Mel.

Uh, Vera.

Again. I know it's late,

but I just wanted to make
sure that you got my message.

Messages.

- [BUZZES]
- [GROANS] I just...

I'll explain everything
later. Okay? But first,

we need to figure out a way
to distract that security guard.

Seriously? Your slingshot
from when you were ten?

Her name is Slingy, thank you.

[GLASS SHATTERS]

MEL: I mean...

What if we really are sisters?

I mean, think about it. I'm ,

you're .

My mom could have easily
had another kid before I was

old enough to remember.

I know, this is a lot to take in, but...

Don't you want to
know the truth about...

Who you are?

- And you mocked Slingy.
- No.

I mocked you, 'cause you're a
grown-ass woman with a slingshot.

Shh.

Now, if you're done
playing Stranger Things,

- can we just get the hell out of here?
- Okay.

[GRUNTS]

[ENGINE SPUTTERS]

[ENGINE SPUTTERS]

- GUARD: Hey.
- Ooh.

Get out of the bus! Now!

Oh, no, no, no.
This can't be happening...

Dude, that was a g*n.

- Like, a real g*n.
- Yeah.

- GUARD: I'm not playing around.
- Okay.

[EXHALES]

Think.

Think...

Think.

Think, think, think...

GUARD: What the hell?

[GRUNTING]

- Get away!
- The hell?

Where did all those
butterflies come from?

Oh, get off me. [GRUNTS]

- What the hell's going on?
- I have no idea.

- Let's just get the hell out of here.
- [ENGINE STARTS]

[CRASHING, CLATTERING]

[SNIFFING]

Oh.

Someone's been a bad witch.

[CHUCKLES]

Mm.

- [GROWLS]
- Patience, Seymour.

We'll find her.

And when we do...

[SNARLING, GROWLING]

Exactly.

[PHONE RINGING]

[SWITCHES ALARM OFF]

[SIGHS, GROANS]

[EXHALES]

That demon has a pretty good left hook.

Had a pretty good left hook.

[WRY CHUCKLE] True.

You doin' okay?

I know this whole
Kaela thing's gotta be...

Pretty disappointing.

I'm fine.

She doesn't want to be
a part of this whole thing,

and I can't exactly blame her.

Especially after...

Anyways...

I am just gonna focus
on the things I can control.

Like... the demon population.

And my thesis.

Maggie...

I'm just going to class.

Deal's a deal.

We slay all the demons you want,

but we always wear trackers,

so we can find each other
if things go sideways.

Fine. But just so we're clear,

we're doing this so I can save your ass

when you get in trouble, not
the other way around. Okay?

Whatever you say, boss.

♪ I need to get a little bit closer ♪

♪ Need to get a little bit closer... ♪

Happy now?

♪ To you... ♪

Ecstatic.

[PHONE BUZZING]

Um...

♪ Closer to you ♪

♪ To you... ♪

Hey. Chloe.

♪ Closer to you... ♪

What's up?

[MEL SIGHS]

_

- ♪ Closer to you ♪
- _

♪ You could start a fire ♪

♪ With the tip of your tongue... ♪

Drop it.

Geez. Don't sneak up on me like that.

What part of "don't contact
me again" was unclear?

She didn't really mean that.

I can't believe I have
to explain "no means no"

to a gender studies professor.

Maggie, how can you be okay with this?

She might be our sister.

Yeah. According to your
insane conspiracy theory

where Mom had another affair

and didn't tell Ray about it

and ditched her baby
at a fire station in Philly.

Mom loved cheesesteaks.

Are you even hearing yourself right now?

The Power of Three worked
with her. We all saw it.

- It has to mean something.
- I know.

But if we come on so strong
that we scare her off for good,

we're not gonna know what that is.

So please just give her some space

until she's ready.

Fine. No more calls.

Or texts.

- Or DMs.
- Okay.

What did I just say?

_

Oh.

Okay, well...

Have fun. And be safe.

You, too.

♪ ♪

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

BARISTA: I'm sorry, not yet.

Can't serve alcohol before : .

Harry. We got a problem.

I'll say.

You know Annie, the
pixie I told you about?

Chloe's sister?

Yeah. She's dead.

And it has something to do with this.

She got it from someone
called the Tallyman.

[CHUCKLES]

As in the song?

What? You know.

♪ Tallyman, Tallyman, he keeps count ♪

♪ Tallyman, Tallyman, don't step out ♪

♪ If you're good ♪

♪ Then he pays, if you're not ♪

- ♪ Then he slays. ♪
- Ah.

Oh, don't give me that look.

We can't all sound like the
bloody Phantom of the Opera.

Jordan, I am sorry about Annie. Really.

But I'm in no mood to go
around hunting bogeymen

from a magical nursery rhyme.

Harry, wait.

The Tallyman might not be real,

but there's still someone
out there hurting people.

Now, I don't know why
I was given these powers.

What my role was
supposed to be in all this.

But I know it can't be to just sit back

and do nothing.

I thought you of all
people would get that.

KAELA: I have plenty of fufu powder.

And shito.

[CHUCKLES]

Mom, I'm sorry, I really don't have time

to talk about food right now.

Knock, knock.

- [DOOR CLOSES]
- Oh, uh, I got to go.

Okay. Love you, too. Bye.

- Hey.
- Hey.

So, Carlos said we
just need to bring booze

and dessert to Framily
Dinner, so I picked up, um...

[WHISPERS]: Yeah?

Why are you acting weird?

- I'm not being weird.
- Yeah, you are. You're acting

super weird right now.

[EXHALES] Okay, look,

I got to tell you something,

but you got to promise
not to freak out, okay?

Okay.

You know those butterflies last night?

Yeah.

That was me.

My powers.

I'm... I'm a witch.

[CHUCKLES] Okay, wait, is there...

Is there a punch line coming, or...?

No, no. Brynn, this is for real.

[SIGHS]

Okay. [CLEARS THROAT]

Just give me a second.
I can do this. Okay.

It's back, isn't it?

What?

Your leukemia.

What? No. No.

The headaches. The-the weird dreams.

[VOICE BREAKING]:
Whatever this is. Delusions.

- [CHUCKLES]: I don't even know.
- No. Hey.

[CHUCKLING]: Hey, uh...

I was just messing with you. [LAUGHS]

- I was just messing with you.
- What?

That was a stupid joke. I'm sorry.

Oh, I really got you. I'm sorry.
I... [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Stupid. I'm seriously fine.

Totally fine.

Well, maybe we should skip dinner?

What? No.

Look, dude, my life's
been super complicated,

and I just want one normal
night with my friends. Please?

Okay. Yeah, sure.

Uh, one normal night coming right up.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[GRUNTING]

Drive through my gate...

[MUTTERS]

Geez, lady.

You scared the hell out of me.

Can I help you?

What the...?

What was that?

- [VEHICLE APPROACHING]
- Hey! Lady!

Hey! Lady, I'm talking to you!

- [ENGINE TURNS OFF]
- [SNIFFING]

[GROWLS]

I know you're hungry, Seymour.

But he's not the one we're after.

- [GROWLS]
- Here.

A little something to tide you over

till we find her.

[SNARLS, GROWLS]

[MUNCHING]

[PHONE CHIMES]

_

[WHOOSHES]

- [WITCHBOARD CHIMING]
- Oh, God.

Kaela?

[LINE RINGING]

Come on, Maggie, pick up.

MAGGIE: Hi. This is Maggie. I can't
come to the phone right now...

Screw it.

[WHOOSHING]

KAELA: Brynn, either
pair of shoes is fine.

Come on, we're gonna be late.

Mel? What are you doing here?

You're in danger.

Yeah. From a crazy stalker lady

who won't leave me alone.

I'm serious. That big map
that you saw back in Seattle?

It tells us whenever
a witch is in trouble,

and your light just went off.

Oh, how convenient.

I don't return any of
your voice mails,

and suddenly I'm in danger.

- Michaela, I'm trying to help.
- I don't need help.

This life of yours with a
thr*at around every corner?

I don't want it.

Okay? I have a life
with incredible friends

and a family and my
parents who raised me,

- who, by the way,
- Crap.

are the only people who are
allowed to call me Michaela.

- MAGGIE: Mel.
- [GROANS]

I'm so sorry, Kaela.

Boundaries are not her strong suit.

Clearly.

Please, just be careful.

- Okay.
- And just have a great night.

[WHISPERS]: What the...?

- Who were you talking to?
- Oh.

I was just giving directions
to someone who is very lost.

- You ready?
- Yeah.

Okay.

Before you give me a lecture, there was

a red light on the witchboard.

Yeah, I know. I saw
it after I got your call.

Last I checked, it's
possible to protect someone

- without going full stalker.
- Hey.

I would want to know if there's
something evil coming after me.

Yeah, but is there?

What are you saying?

The witchboard already
tried to play matchmaker

with us and Kaela once before.

Maybe it's doing it again, trying to...

Trick us into coming here.

And you're gonna bet
Kaela's life on a maybe?

Look,

you can go if you want,

but I am not letting Michaela...

Kaela... out of my sight
until I know she's safe.

Fine. I'll case the area.

But while I'm gone,
just please promise me

you'll... Keep my distance. Yeah.

Got it.

- What is that?
- Binocu-lotion.

She won't even know I'm watching.

Yeah, I realize how that sounded.

You sure you're okay with us
looking through Annie's stuff?

I want to stop whoever did this to her,

before they hurt anyone else.

How do you do it?

Do what?

Keep going...

When a part of you is gone.

I'll let you know when I figure it out.

Harry, look.

Maggie told me about this place.

The Blue Camellia.

The magical bar that
Mel's been frequenting.

From what I hear,

it's a bit rough around
the edges for a pixie.

She would never go to a place like that.

Unless she was looking for something.

Like a special coin.

[MUSIC PLAYING INDISTINCTLY]

Propinqua quod longe.

Much better.

Boxed wine, bean dip...

Foosball?

How is that better than
being a Charmed One?

MAGGIE: Mel, pick up your phone.

I've been looking for
danger for the past hour,

and I still haven't found a...

Thing.

[SNIFFING]

MAGGIE: Can I help you?

You don't happen to know the owner

of this motor coach, do you?

Who are you?

Just a concerned citizen.

Have we met before?

I think I'd remember.

Now, what are you?

That depends on you, I suppose.

Help me find the witch
who owns this bus,

and I will be nothing more than a brief

and fleeting memory.

Or?

I can be something much, much worse.

[GASPS]

[PANTING]

[LAUGHS]

- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- [MUSIC PLAYING]

Hard to believe this is where
Mel's been spending her time.

Beats getting your
ass kicked every night.

I can tell you that much.

Trouble in demon-hunting paradise?

[SCOFFS]

I don't know, man.

Maggie's just so far away lately.

No matter what I do,

I can't seem to reach her.

Well, she's still grieving.

Try to meet her where she is.

What if she just keeps drifting

further and further away?

Trust me on this, I wasted
too many moments with Macy

worrying about the future

instead of cherishing the time
we actually had together.

What?

That's the first time I've heard you

say her name since she d*ed.

What are you boys drinking?

- Double whisk...
- Nothing for us.

But, uh,

we were hoping maybe you
could help us with something else.

Ever seen anyone around
here with a coin like this?

I serve drinks, not information.

No, wait.

We work with Mel and Maggie Vera.

The Charmed Ones.

Kiss-n-tell Mel. Mm.

Tell her she left her tab open.

Hey.

Hey!

A friend of ours was m*rder*d

by whoever's giving out these coins.

Now, I don't know about you,

but I've seen enough
senseless death and bloodshed

to last two lifetimes.

So do me a favor

and tell me where the
hell you've seen them,

because I know you have.

[PHONE RINGING]

Yeah? Mm-hmm.

You're the boss.

There's a regular here.

A leprechaun. Deals in coins.

He might be your guy.

Or he might not.

Thanks.

Oh, don't thank me.

Thank Roxie.

Come on, I am not the worst dancer here.

- Mm.
- I have moves.

You've got a move: the Brynn.

[BOTH LAUGH]

I mean, hey, he's not wrong.

You get two drinks in
the girl and she's all, like...

Here it comes.

[LAUGHTER]

Do it with me.

["BAILANDO" BY DELUXXE PLAYING]

Come on, Carlos.

There we go.

MAGGIE: Mel, Mel, you were right.

She's being hunted
by some crazy old lady

with a monster in her purse.

Old-timey fashion?

Schoolmarm vibe?

Deadly pet tentacle?

Yeah. How did you...

It's called a Vittra.

I read about them in
the old Book of Shadows.

They were an ancient order

who protected the secret of magic

by k*lling anyone who
showed it to humans.

I didn't think there were any left.

Well, there's at least
one, and she is pissed.

That is not good.

You think?

Uh, where's Kaela now?

She's right over...

No, wait. Sh...

She was just here.

Oh, crap.

Guys, go. Go.

Go, go. Bad butterflies. Go.

BRYNN: Kaela.

Hi.

What the hell is going on?

♪ ♪

MAGGIE: You had one job. One!

First you rip me for
calling her too much,

and now you're freaking out because

I lost sight of her for one second.

What is going on with you?

I am terrified, okay?

- Of what? The Vittra?
- This. All of this.

That bringing in
someone else into this...

This life, this sisterhood,

means the same thing
that happened to Macy

is gonna happen all over again.

- Maggie...
- We couldn't stop

the destruction of
the sisterhood before.

Why should this time be any different?

Maggie, look.

m*rder-y Poppins is in the building.

What was in those edibles?

Brynn.

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

I tried to tell you. It's real.

[CHUCKLES] I'm a witch.

So you're not sick?

[CHUCKLES]

Seriously? That's your first question?

You're my best friend.
I frikkin' love you.

Yes, that is my first question.

Although I do have, like,
other questions.

Yeah, you and me both.

Do you think that this
could have something to do

with your birth parents?

Uh...

[FIRE ALARM SOUNDING]

Is that a fire alarm?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Heard a rumor there's a
leprechaun around here

who might know a
thing or two about coins.

Who's asking?

What, you were expecting a wee fella?

Roxie sent us.

I'm gonna cut to the chase, Frank.

This coin k*lled a friend of mine.

A pixie.

And I have it on good
authority you had a hand in it.

I'm a lot of things, boyo,

but I'm no pixie k*ller,
just a middleman.

Mm. For who?

All I'll say is some fella came 'round.

Looking to score some cursed gold.

Was offering a boatload for it.

So I didn't ask any questions.

Did he call himself the Tallyman?

Didn't get a name.

Where can we find this fella?

I don't sell out me customers, lads.

Bad for business.

Thanks for the whiskey,
but we're done here.

I wouldn't leave if I were you, Frank.

Oh, yeah?

And why's that?

Because I poisoned that bottle.

Bollocks.

You both drank from it, too.

HARRY: My God. Yeah, he's right.

Oh, if only there were someone around

who could heal the poison
out of our systems, hmm?

Jordan?

Now,

unless you want to die
an excruciating death,

start talking.

I don't know how to find him.

- It was a dead drop, I swear.
- Where?

At an old cabin in the
woods, outside Newport.

Here.

Now get the damn poison out of me!

What poison?

See you around, Frank.

What?

[PANTING]

[FIRE ALARM SOUNDING]

[CLICKING TONGUE]

You've been a very naughty witch.

Using your magic in front of
humans. [CLICKING TONGUE]

Who the hell are you?

Your punishment.

[CRIES OUT]

Back the hell off. She's with us.

I'm afraid I can't do that.

Rules are rules.

No exceptions.

[CRIES OUT]

Huh?

You injured a human with your magic.

What happened to "no exceptions"?

That one wasn't supposed to be here.

That's why I pulled the
alarm. She's the guilty one.

[GROWLING]

No, Seymour, please.

It was a mistake, Seymour.

Oh! No!

She needs a doctor.

No, she needs a healer. And fast.

That leprechaun better not
have given us a fake address.

[DOOR CREAKING]

_

HARRY: Oh, this is definitely the place.

Just a character from
a nursery rhyme, huh?

[LOUD CLICK]

What was that?

Stop.

Damn it.

Don't move.

Pressure switches rigged to expl*sives.

I've seen them before in Afghanistan.

If one of us takes the pressure off...

Boom?

Boom.

Still no reception, naturally.

Of course, my bootleg Whitelighter
powers don't include orbing.

If I could just reach you...

No.

I could orb us both out of here.

Or you could just orb yourself out.

Well, that'd set off the expl*sives.

Jordan, I know I've been an ass lately,

but I'm not going anywhere.

Man,

if I survived years
of a witch's curse

just to die like this,
I'm gonna be so pissed.

If I don't die,

I'm gonna relish every
second I get with Maggie.

Try to meet her where she is.

And I'm gonna do the same with you.

Me?

Maggie's not the only
one still grieving, bud.

[DOOR CREAKING]

Maggie.

How did you...

I told you I'd use this
thing to save your ass.

We need you guys back
at the command center now.

My best friend is dying, and
we don't have a lot of time...

Stop! No, wait!

This place is wired to blow. Don't move.

Okay, um...

Well, if there is an "on" switch,

there's generally an "off," so...

There.

That's the disconnect.

Um, the question is, how do we reach it?

Macy's telekinesis power
would be super handy right now.

So would Kaela's power of manifestation.

BRYNN: You're like her, aren't you?

A witch.

Take care of her for me.

She may act tough, but she needs people.

That is what keeps her going.

[BREATHING WEAKLY]

Brynn?

Brynn!

- I can't do it. Hmm-mm.
- Yes, you can.

Do you have something to draw with?

- Always, but...
- Here.

- You're gonna draw on my jacket.
- No, Maggie, you don't get it.

When I want to manifest
stuff, nothing happens.

But when I don't, poof! All of a sudden

there's an apple, and
your cousin is a paper doll.

HARRY: Kaela, you need to breathe.

Just do it.

Listen to him. This is what he does.

Close your eyes. Close them.

Visualize something
that can reach the switch.

Something familiar.

Personal.

Something you know so well

you could sketch it in your sleep.

Got it?

Mm, mm-hmm.

Draw.

Draw it.

Okay.

HARRY: Good.

Now, open your heart to magic.

It's a part of who you are.

Your friend needs you.

We need you.

Because you...

You are a Charmed One.

[EXHALES]

[LAUGHING]

Huh! You did it.

Yeah.

Duck, dude.

Hurry, she's fading.

[GRUNTS]

It's not enough.

Come on. Come on.

Come on, B.

Come on. You're too
stubborn to go out like this.

[GASPS]

Took you long enough.

[LAUGHS]

Thank you.

All of you.

Well, this sure has been
a night to remember.

Hey, about that, we were kind of hoping

you could, like, forget it. [CHUCKLES]

Forget what?

You ready to go?

You're not coming, are you?

Look, this is something I gotta do.

Not because I want to,
but because I need to,

for both our sakes.

Well, I expect daily texts,

okay, weekly FaceTimes
and regular visits.

Seeing as I'm just, um, a big, freaky,

glowy circle away.

Bye. Bye.

[SIGHS]

Are you okay?

Yeah. Hmm.

Thank you for saving her. And me.

It's what we do.

And I'm sorry for pushing you so hard

to join our screwed-up little family.

I didn't even consider that

you might already have one of your own.

It's okay. I get it.

If joining this fight
is what I have to do

to keep the people
I love safe, then I'm in.

You sure?

We don't want to
force you into anything.

Fate brought us together for a reason.

And I'm not gonna lie, I...

I kind of want to see what that is.

♪ Wake up, fall back to sleep ♪

♪ I don't like what I'm dreaming ♪

♪ I'm fine, I'm not, no, wait ♪

♪ Just need a little
time for healing... ♪

Between these cursed coins
and a booby-trapped cabin,

I think it's time to start
taking this Tallyman

a lot more seriously.

Agreed.

Sure you don't want to stay
in with Kaela and Mel tonight,

figure out our next move?

Not exactly ready for the whole

sisterhood thing yet.

I need to go ham on some demons.

It's fine if you don't want to come.

Maggie...

♪ You gotta find the
ups and the downs... ♪

Hand me those brass knuckles.

♪ 'Cause maybe this is where you find ♪

♪ The blessing in the curse ♪

♪ Crash and learn ♪

[VOCALIZING]

KAELA: It's fine, really.

I'm totally cool to crash
on the couch tonight,

or wherever, so, you know,

don't go out of your
way to do anything...

[LAUGHS]

... anything special.

♪ Just to know I've got 'em ♪

How did you...

Magic. I figured you could use a little

home away from home.

Mel...

♪ I can hold it together ♪

Thank you.

♪ Crash and learn ♪

- ♪ keep walking till ♪
- [PHONE CHIMING]

- ♪ you're past the burn ♪
- _

Do you need to get that?

Nah.

What I need is to
get a tour of that bus.

[LAUGHS]

Okay. Let's go.

♪ You gotta find the ups and the downs ♪

♪ 'Cause maybe this
is where you'll find ♪

- Welcome.
- Oh, it's so cute.

♪ The blessing in the curse ♪

♪ Crash and learn ♪

[VOCALIZING]

♪ No, I won't run, no, I won't hide ♪

♪ I'll stare my demons in the eye ♪

♪ So tonight ♪

♪ I guess you gotta crash and learn ♪

♪ Keep walking till
you're past the burn ♪

♪ I just gotta warn you every
shortcut through the hurt ♪

♪ Doesn't work ♪

♪ You gotta get lost to get found ♪

♪ You gotta find the ups and the downs ♪

♪ 'Cause maybe this
is where you'll find ♪

♪ The blessing in the curse. ♪

[DOOR CREAKING]

[FLOORBOARDS CREAKING]

MALE: ♪ Tallyman, Tallyman ♪

♪ He keeps count ♪

♪ Tallyman, Tallyman ♪

♪ Don't step out ♪

♪ If you're good ♪

♪ Then he pays ♪

♪ If you're not ♪

♪ Then he slays. ♪