06x06 - Chapter One Hundred and One: Unbelievable

[bunniefuu]

Tell me again exactly what happened.

[sighs] Archie and I were in his room,

and then I got the phone call.

And you didn't recognize the voice?

The connection was pretty
bad, but it was a man.

He said that we needed
to get out of the house,

that there was a b*mb under the bed.

We have to go.

Yeah, so we ran downstairs,

slid under the dining room table

right when the b*mb went off.

And Jughead, you were...

I was in the garage.

Wow. This is unbelievable.

I think the three of you
need to go to the hospital.

We're fine.

Yeah. Mom, we really don't need to go.

I just honestly don't have
insurance for that, so...

Okay, well, fine. The two of you stay.

But Betty, you're coming with me.

We're gonna get you checked out.

You could have a concussion
and not even know about it.

Come with me.

[Frank] Walk me through
this again, Archie.

You and Betty ran into
the dining room and hid?

Under which table?

The one that's completely crushed?

[dog whimpering]

Bingo.

[Tabitha] Enjoy.

[door opens]

Jughead?

[exhales]

What happened?

Archie's house... blew up.

- What?
- Yeah, everyone's fine.

But "An expl*si*n on Elm Street..."

This is a huge story for our town.

I need to get on it ASAP, so can I...

can I stay at your place
for a couple of days?

- Of course.
- Thank you.

Thanks.

[bell dinging]

[high-pitched ringing]

[sighs] As you both know, I've

always wanted to make it on Broadway.

Well, it's time I gave
New York another sh*t.

That's great. Good for you, Kev.

Since you're being honest, uh,

we have something
we need to tell you too.

Toni and I...

are dating.

How did that happen?

I guess becoming parents
and living together,

it changed our connection
from platonic to romantic.

Yeah, sometimes the best
relationships start out as friendships.

Um, I will admit that I'm
a little bit surprised.

Yeah, but for the record, we're
both still very much bisexual.

And proud to be part
of the q*eer community.

Amen to that.

[cell phone ringing]

Hey, Dad. What's up?

A b*mb went off?

Where?

[cell phone ringing]

Kevin, what's up?

What is it?

My father.

He blew up Archie's house.

Mistress Cheryl.

Brittania, can't you see
I'm doing scholarly research?

A b*mb went off at the Andrews house.

Apparently, Mr. Andrews
and Miss Cooper were inside,

and Mr. Jones was in the garage.

Oh, dear.

- Were they k*lled?
- No, they're alive.

- Somehow.
- I don't understand. A... a b*mb?

How could a b*mb...

Nana, Abigail's curse,

the one against Archibald Andrews,

Jedediah Jones, and Beatrice Cooper,

was that for realzies?

Who can say?

Where's the parchment
with the curse on it, Nana?

If my speaking the words aloud somehow

revived it to hex Archie,
Betty and Jughead,

I need to study it.

Why, you seemed so upset
after you read Abigail's words,

I b*rned it.

Nana, that's lunacy.

Not only did you manipulate
me into invoking the curse,

which, it turns out, may be real,

you've now ruined my best chance
of learning how to reverse it.

Luckily, the Blossom library
is full of arcane texts

about witches and their wicked ways.

[dogs barking in distance]

Have you called your mom?

No. Not yet.

I don't want to worry her.

It's her house, Archie.

[door opens]

Are you Bingo's dads?

[both] Yeah.

The good news is Bingo is alive.

But all four of his legs were broken.

I'd like to keep Bingo here for a week.

Keep track of his healing process

and make sure his bones set properly.

You have a very lucky dog, Mr. Andrews.

[typewriter clacking]

- [high-pitched ringing]
- [muffled clacking]

- [ringing stops]
- [clacking]

[high-pitched ringing]

[muffled clacking]

- Hey.
- [chuckles] Hi.

Uh, I figured you would be in the zone,

so I brought you some dinner.

How's writing going?

Uh, yeah. Um, it's
good. It's going. I...

It started as an article about the

destruction of a cherished family home.

But I figured what better time to expose

Hiram Lodge for the villain that he is.

Well, please do not let me interrupt.

Write one hell of an expose, Jug.

And pound those nails
into Hiram Lodge's coffin.

[Jughead exhales]

[typewriter clacking]

- [rock music playing]
- [people speaking indistinctly]

Enough's enough, Toni.

The Ghoulies fire-bombed Pop's,
they blew up Archie's house.

We need to go nuclear on them.

Look, I understand the impulse, Fangs.

We have Baby Anthony to think about now.

We can't just be as
reckless as we once were.

I have intel that the Ghoulies
have a new leader from Chicago.

Name of Twyla Twyst.

Let's call her in for a sit-down

and try and de-escalate things.

Do you really think this is
gonna work, Mistress Cheryl?

The best way to nullify a curse is with

reversing candles made from beeswax.

As the candles burn down,
the curse melts away.

So, in less than hours,

all of the nastiness I've
called down upon Betty,

on Archie and Jughead

should be rendered null and void.

Mistress Blossom...

do we now believe in magic and curses?

I believe there was once a time

where a magic and superstition were a

part of the daily fabric of our lives.

Given what we've been
experiencing as of late, Britta,

I believe a new Age of
Wonderment is upon us.

I had to silence my
phone because everyone

keeps texting and calling to check in.

Me too.

I talked to my mom. She's
flying in from Chicago.

How long do you have to stay here?

Just overnight for observation.

- Except for two cracked ribs...
- [sighs]

I'm fine.

You shielded me.

How?

How did I shield you?

We were right there in the
room when the b*mb went off.

I'm not sure.

But if you hadn't thrown
yourself in front of me...

pulled me in tight, and
shielded me with your body,

then I wouldn't be here
talking to you right now.

What happened to us, Betty?

What's happening to me?

I don't know.

Which one of you Delilahs
blew out my reversing candles?

It wasn't me. I would never.

Perhaps it was a night breeze.

Says the old maid who tricked me

into putting a curse on my
school chums in the first place?

Never touch my altar again.

Or perhaps I'll put a curse on you next.

Thanks for humoring me, honey.

I was just so worried that you had
a concussion or internal bleeding.

Thank God you're okay.

[Tabitha reading distortedly]

Sorry.

- [cell phone ringing]
- What were you saying?

- I was just quoting your genius article.
- [chuckles]

But your phone's ringing,
and you didn't notice it.

Hello. This is Jones.

Yes, of course I do.

It's the Wall b*at Journal.

Yeah, that's the correct email.

Thank you. Thank you. All right.

The Wall b*at Journal
wants to run my article.

- What? Oh, my God.
- Nationally.

They said they've been trying to
nail Hiram Lodge for years too.

That's huge, Jug.

What were you saying
about my genius, again?

I have to assume this
was my father's doing.

Yeah, if it wasn't Hiram who
put the b*mb under Archie's bed,

then he probably paid someone to do it.

But, on the plus side,
the FBI's finally making

Hiram's immediate capture a priority.

And I want to help.

I'm reaching out to
Hermosa to get information

about my father's
below-board operations,

the locations of his safe houses,

his known and suspected contacts,

anything and everything
that will help bring him in.

Thank you, Vee. I appreciate it.

[breathing heavily]

One-hundred and ninety-three pounds.

I was last week.

[Alice] I just got a call from RIVW.

Apparently, there was
quite the scene that

happened after we
left Riverdale General.

What happened?

Details are still coming in,

but they found a nurse in a
dumpster behind the hospital.

Throat slit.

That's awful.

- [Hermosa] Papi did what?
- You heard me.

He crossed the ultimate line, Hermosa,

and nearly k*lled an
FBI agent in the process.

Which is why they're now
leading a nationwide manhunt.

Do yourself a favor
and help me help them.

Tell me where he goes
when he wants to disappear.

I'll need immunity for myself,
and give me a few hours.

Thank you, Hermosa.

- [phone ringing]
- [indistinct conversations]

- [whistles]
- [conversations stop]

[clears throat] Thank you, Glen.

Really, you did not need to do that.

Okay. Hiram Lodge has been a person

of interest for the last several years,

and as of two days ago, he is
now on our Most Wanted List.

In those files, you will
find his possible whereabouts,

known associates, financial
records, phone data.

I'm expecting fresh intel later today.

But this should be
enough to get you started.

[Betty] Agent Lin, would you mind
helping me with something off-case?

Of course. What do you need?

A nurse was m*rder*d at
Riverdale General Hospital today,

a young woman, in her s.

Would you mind looking into an
orderly who's employed there?

Uh, first name Trevor.

Okay. You think he's responsible?

Right now it's just a hunch.

Thank you.

Talked to my dad. Told him I needed
to step away from the dealership.

So we...

can focus on the casino.

That's good.

Ronnie, what's that?

Privileged information about
my father's criminal empire.

Everything you would need to
hunt him down and make him pay.

For the FBI?

No.

Not the FBI.

Daddy's had many chances.

A more... permanent
solution needs to happen.

Which is why I am reaching
out to the underworld...

and putting a bounty on his head.

Ronnie, no matter what Hiram
did, he's still your dad.

It's an act of self-preservation.

My father will never
stop gunning for us.

[elevator bell dings]

[footsteps approaching]

And where have you been tonight, Glen?

Just had some dinner,

stopped off for a few beers, you know.

Hey.

You, uh...

You seeing anyone lately?

Yeah. Archie.

[laughs] Come on.

That pipsqueak? He satisfies you, really?

A lot more than you ever did.

Oh, come on, Betty.

You know you want this.

Don't.

[Betty grunts]

[grunts, spits]

You're crazy, you know that?

You have no idea.

It's okay, Mom.

It's just stuff.

Things that can be replaced.

I'm not crying about that, Archie.

I'm just imagining you
here when it happened.

You could have d*ed.

How did you not die?

In all seriousness, look at this place.

I think I know.

It was your father.

It's the only thing that makes sense.

It was your dad.

It's his house.

He was looking out for you.

And for Betty.

[Veronica] Thank you for coming, Anatol.

I have prepared this
dossier of information

I believe you'll find very useful.

How much is the bounty?

A cool two million.

Do you want him dead or alive?

I don't want him to hurt
me or my friends ever again.

I see. Dead, then.

I understand and will comply.

[cell phone ringing]

Reggie, can I call you back?

[Reggie] Ronnie, I'm at the hospital.

My dad just had a heart
att*ck at the dealership.

You've been keeping busy, Topaz.

Councilwoman, new mom,
small business owner.

Sweet place, by the way.

We asked you here to
propose a cease fire, Twyla.

Now that Hiram's gone and
the Feds are on his ass,

there's nobody funding your crew.

Maybe we can broker an agreement.

You're wrong about Lodge.

When Hiram left town, he made us a deal.

As long as we keep doing what he asked,

he'll make a monthly deposit
into a private account for us

from a third-party bank, of course.

What did that scumbag ask you to do?

One, destroy Riverdale.

And two, k*ll Archie Andrews.

And by the way, I only took
this meeting out of courtesy.

And to see for myself

what kind of thr*at the
Southside Serpents might be.

From where I'm sitting,
we're looking fine.

All right, I'm done.

You can get the hell out of my bar.

No problem. I'll be back soon enough.

Let's go.

[Fogarty scoffs]

[Mary] Archie, Toni and
Fangs are here to see you.

So their leader, Twyla
Twyst, told you guys all this?

She's stone-cold crazy,
Archie. Like all the Ghoulies.

[Toni] Just so for your own safety,

we think it's best if get out
of Riverdale as fast you can.

The Ghoulies, they still live
down by the docks, don't they?

Yeah.

But Archie, neither you nor we have
the fire-power to go against them.

We'll need to call reinforcements first.

We're just waiting to hear back from FP.

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

I just want to know which neighborhood
to steer clear of, that's all.

[scoffs]

Unbelievable.

What infernal game is my nana playing?

[sighs]

Time to catch this septuagenarian
saboteur crimson-handed.

Come on, Brittania.

Your instincts about that orderly

- were spot-on, Agent Cooper.
- Hmm.

Trevor Collins has a
sketchy employment history.

He's worked at multiple
hospitals around the country

and always seems to
leave after a few months.

Sometimes he quits, and
sometimes he's fired.

Any convictions?

In and out of juvie, then did six months

at Shankshaw for drug possession.

Interesting.

Every hospital has their
own in-house pharmacy.

I wonder if there's been
any thefts reported recently.

Agent Cooper, there's one
more thing you should know.

A bunch of us were working
out together this morning,

Agent Scot included.

And he started saying things about you.

Really? What did Glen say?

That you two reconnected.

That things got steamy,

and that you accidentally
elbowed him in the nose during...

I get it, yeah.

Um, thank you for
letting me know, Marsha.

[indistinct conversations]

Hey, Twyla.

Damn.

And I thought the
Ghoulies had a death wish.

Does anyone wanna tell me which one
of you bums put a b*mb under my bed?

Or do things have to get messy?

You know, what kills me the most...

is that we were finally in a good place.

I just thought we had more time.

[sniffles]

Of course.

And you will, Reggie.

Do you think you'll
spend the night here?

Definitely, yeah.

In that case, let me... let me go

home and pack an overnight bag for you.

[sniffles]

[line ringing]

- Hello.
- [Anatol] Da.

- Anatol, is that you?
- [Anatol] Yes.

I was about to call you, Miss Lodge.

It's done.

What?

What... what do you mean it's done?

Already? How is that possible?

What can I say? I'm a professional.

Check your inbox.

[Veronica breathing shakily]

[gasps]

[crying]

Oh, my God. What happened now?

Some Ghoulies tried to mug me.

Where are you hurt?

Nowhere. It's not my blood.

It's all theirs. I don't
have a scratch on me.

What are you doing here?

Get yourself cleaned up. I
need your help with something.

Could I get a refill on this coffee?

Hey, buddy.

I'm talking to you.

I've got your refill right here, sir.

Sorry for the delay.

[Tabitha] Jughead, what is up with you?

I mean, couldn't you hear him?

Yeah. I... I could.
I was just in my head.

No, no. No, I know when
you're "in your head."

This is something else.

Try again.

The truth this time.

The expl*si*n really
messed up my hearing.

Did a lot of damage.

I'm just afraid it's getting worse.

Hi. I'm Agent Cooper with the FBI.

Do you mind if I ask you
a couple of questions?

What's this all about?

It's about the m*rder that
took place here two nights ago.

Oh, yeah.

I heard about that.

So, tell me, Trevor,

why were you fired from St.
Michael's Hospital eight months ago?

I... I wasn't fired.

I quit.

Oh.

So it wasn't because you were caught
stealing dr*gs from the pharmacy?

And you didn't k*ll the nurse
here for that exact same reason,

because she caught you with
your hand in the cookie jar?

I wouldn't do that if I were you, bro.

Not unless you want me
to break both your arms.

He'll do it too.

- [rock music playing]
- [people speaking indistinctly]

Since the expl*si*n...

I've started to see...

How do I describe this?

Um, I can see people's energy,

if it's threatening, like their auras.

- Is that crazy?
- No. No.

Betty, I'm getting heavier, denser.

Also invulnerable.

Until I figure out
what's happening to me,

I am afraid I might hurt people.

- I might hurt you.
- Archie, you can't.

I told you, I see threats.

I saw it with that
orderly. I saw it with Glen.

Glen? Your boss?

[sighs]

Back in Quantico when I was a
trainee, we had a brief thing.

And last night, he was
drunk and he got handsy.

But it's fine. I'm taking care of
it. You don't have to do anything.

Okay?

But I don't want you to be afraid
of hurting me, Arch. Because I'm not.

[chiming twice]

[Cheryl] Britta?

What are you doing in here?

I'm not Britta.

Abigail?

[clock ticking]

Nana...

something is very wrong with Britta.

I caught her trying to blow out
the candles in the alter last night,

but when she spoke to me,

her eyes, her voice, her soul...

I believe they might be Abigail's.

I wondered.

Abigail's spirit could have
entered the child's body

when you invoked her curse.

And now, perchance, Abigail
controls the girl's body at night.

[groans softly]

I can't believe I'm asking
this, but to free Britta,

do we have to perform an exorcism?

Oh, no, no.

Okay.

We must perform a banishment.

[knock on door]

[man] Anyone home?

Can I help you?

[man] I certainly hope so.

So sorry to intrude.

See, I was strolling by, and, uh...

- Are you the owner?
- Uh, yes, I am.

What a pleasure to meet
you. My name's Percival.

Look, I'm new in town and
I'm looking for a house.

I know I'm chancing my arm here,

but would you have any
interest in selling?

- Possibly.
- No, we're not interested.

Right.

Tell you what, take my card.

Should you have any interest in
divesting yourselves of the property,

I'd give you a very generous price...

even in its current condition.

Well, thank you, Mr. Pickens.

That's right. Percival Pickens.

Look forward to hearing from you.

[Betty] So, we have video surveillance,

uh, evidence that's being
collected as we speak,

that we'll be able to review... soon.

Uh, where are the guys?

Well...

per my conversation with Director
Wilcox, they've been reassigned.

And so have you, Glen.

You're no longer helping me
with the Hiram Lodge case.

Also, congratulations.

You're now the subject of an FBI
sexual harassment investigation.

Fly away, little bird.

Fly away.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

What did the doctor say?

I can't hear you.

He said I'm...

% deaf in my left ear
and % deaf in my right.

[sniffles]

[high-pitched ringing]

[muffled] We're gonna get through this...

together.

[rock song playing]

- [Archie] Thank you.
- Thank you.

[waitress] No problem.

Mom, before you go back to Chicago,
we should talk about the house.

Sell the house to me.

I have money saved up from the army,

and I never touched the college
fund you and Dad set up for me.

It will be tight, but I can do it.

So what, you're just gonna spend your

entire life living in the same house?

Would that be such a bad thing?

I don't know. Maybe not.

Well, I would love
to have your blessing.

[Veronica] Hey, Reggie.

How's your dad?

Much, much better. Thank God.

He woke up. The doctor said
he's a total stress-case

and needs to start
taking a million pills.

But... he'll make a full recovery.

[sighs] That's amazing news, Reggie.

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know that thing with my father?

I called it off.

Yeah, you were right.

I'm so relieved to hear
you say that, Ronnie.

I knew you weren't that person.

Untie me, you wretched women.

[Nana Rose and Cheryl] Spirit,
we compel you, leave her.

Spirit, we compel you, leave her.

Spirit, we compel you, leave her.

Spirit, we compel you, leave her.

It burns! It burns!

[crying] It burns!

Abigail Blossom, release this child

- and return to the realm of the dead...
- [speaks indistinctly]

...and take with you your curse.

[screaming]

What... what's going on?

[exhales]

[phone ringing]

Whyte Wyrm, this is Toni.

[Twyla] You send your red-headed
bruiser to do your dirty work?

Well, it's on, bitch.

The Ghoulies are declaring an
all-out w*r against the Serpents.

Twyla, we didn't do anything.

Oh, I underestimated you, Topaz.

I thought with a baby in the house,

your days of starting wars were over.

Nice to know nothing's
off the table now.

What the hell happened?

Archie did something, and now
Twyla Twyst has declared w*r on us.

[elevator whirring]

[sighs]

Oh, no.

Oh, yes.

♪ I so thought I can
go where they won't ♪

♪ I so thought that I
can go where they won't ♪

♪ Tie your branches
Thick and old ♪

♪ A lot of gold
Where you dig that hole... ♪

Oh, it's nice to see you again, Abigail.

♪ Off I said
Not a thing again... ♪

♪ We are done, we are
With this milk and bread ♪

And in the proper vessel this time.

I'm so sorry about that temporary
misplacement in that girl.

But thanks to the incantation I was
murmuring during the banishment...

[speaking incantation]

I am now exactly where I belong.

In a body befitting my spirit.

♪ I so thought that I
can go where they won't ♪

♪ Deserve me ♪

Thank you for postponing your trip

to take care of Baby Anthony, Kevin.

Yeah, it's just until we assess how

much of a thr*at the
Ghoulies really are.

I'll guard him with my life.

[Anthony cooing]

And here.

And one last signature here.

Congratulations.

You are now the proud
owner of this structure.

- Thank you, ma'am.
- Thanks.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

[Mary sighs]

Thank you, Mom, for trusting me.

[phone ringing]

[Hermosa] How could you, Veronica?

He was our father.

I did what had to be done.

Shut up.

You better watch your back, hermanita,

because blood will have blood.

- You're a marked woman.
- [line disconnects]

[Archie] You wanted to
finish our talk, Betty?

I did. I do.

Something's clearly happening to us,

triggered by that expl*si*n.

Whatever it is...

I think that we should face it together.

Betty, I... I want to.

But if things get weirder...

Oh, well, they will.

But that's all the more reason

for us to be there for each other.

Okay, then.

If you really want to
be with an unemployed,

non-unionized construction worker

with a mortgage that he can't afford,

then who am I to say no to that?

Well, I'm all in.

Me too.

[cell phone ringing]

Ugh! No.

Hello?

Hey.

Yeah. How's Bingo?

Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can.

Thank you.

What is it? Did Bingo
take a turn for the worse?

Um, no. Actually, the opposite.

In fact, they already
took his casts off.

Seriously? It's been three
days since he broke his legs.

Yeah, apparently, they're
not broken anymore.

His bones are completely healed.

[Trash Bag k*ller] You shouldn't
have disrespected Betty that way.

[grunts]