03x11 - Prince Albert in a Can

Episode transcripts for the TV show "9-1-1: Lone Star". Aired: January 19, 2020 to present.*
Watch/Buy Amazon

A NYC firefighter relocates to Austin, Texas with his son, where he tries to start a new life while he works to save people's lives.
Post Reply

03x11 - Prince Albert in a Can

Post by bunniefuu »

I'm right here with you, ma'am.
We're gonna get some help to you.

Can you tell me the address
of where you're at?

WOMAN (OVER PHONE): Monte Vista.

Hurry. He's gone crazy.

I'm sending police to you now.
What's your name, ma'am?

SUSIE: It's Susie.
I've got my baby here too.


(BABY CRYING OVER PHONE)

Okay. Susie. Listen, my name is Grace.

Do me a favor. Take a deep breath.

Tell me what's going on.
Who's trying to hurt you?

SUSIE: My boyfriend. His name's Mark.

Mark Poling.
He's tweaked out of his mind.


You're saying he's on methamphetamines?

SUSIE: Yes. He, he deals it.

- Is he armed?
- SUSIE: I don't know. Probably.

He has this bunch of g*ns in the house.

He just started smashing
and throwing things.


He said that he's gonna k*ll us!

I know you're scared,

but I need you to try
and stay calm for me.

Are you two somewhere safe right now?

- SUSIE: We're hiding in a closet.
- (BABY CRYING)

Well, let's try to keep
your voice down, ma'am.

Susie, I need to know where
in the house the closet is

so that my team can find you.

SUSIE: We're in the back bedroom

at the end of the hallway
to the left. I...


I think I hear him. Hush, honey, please.

- (BABY CRYING)
- Please hush.

I smell gas. I think
he's pouring gasoline.


Oh, God. He meant it.

He said he would burn us both alive!

He's gonna set the house on fire!

- MAN (ON PHONE): Hey!
- (SUSIE SCREAMS)

- (LINE DISCONNECTS)
- Hey! Susie?

Susie, can you hear me?

(SIREN WAILING)

OFFICER: Go, go, go, go!

I want every street within
four blocks of here locked down.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Officers, take the south side of the
residence,

keep the neighbors inside.

Last thing we need is a looky-loo
getting caught in a crossfire.

OFFICER: Yes, sir.

- Officer Reyes.
- CARLOS: Captain Strand.

We believe we have
an armed suspect inside

with two possible hostages,

one of them an infant.

Do we know their status?

No. Suspect's radio silent.

Won't answer his phone,
or any calls from my negotiators.

I need your teams
to set up behind the truck

until SWAT goes in
and secures the scene.

Fire should go in with you.

No way.

Dispatch said the suspect
is a heavily armed meth-head.

They also said that the place
is filled with gasoline.

One stray round, that thing goes up,

you guys are trapped in an inferno.

Alright. Just stay behind us.
You travel light as you can.

Sergeant, kit these boys up
with vests and helmets.

- SERGEANT: Yes, sir.
- Alright. Halligans

and fire extinguishers only.

Get an inch-and-three-quarter
line as backup.

If that thing goes up,
we're in there fast.

STOKES: Let's go. Move, move, move!

Suspect is a white male.
Keep your eyes open.

Move, move, move.

This is APD. Come out if you're here.

OFFICER : Eyes peeled. Eyes peeled!

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(INDISTINCT POLICE CHATTER)

- Bedroom's clear.
- Bathroom clear!



Three-six-three-H- .

I have eyes on a male in a hoodie,

who appears to have just exited

the rear of the house on Plainview.

Suspect's heading east.

In pursuit.

Copy, three-six-three-H- .

I'm sending a ride your way now.

Carlos, be careful.

OFFICER: Check the windows.

Anyone here?

Man, this is just creepy.

JUDD: Hey, Cap, dispatch said

that they heard a baby
crying on the call.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't hear no baby crying.

No.



CARLOS: Police! Freeze!

- What's going on, man?
- CARLOS: Mark Poling?

Where's your girlfriend, Mark?

What?

Amber?

She's... she's gone.

What do you mean gone? Gone where?

I don't know, man.

CARLOS: Did you hurt her, Mark?

When?

I didn't do anything.

Whoa. I don't reckon
nobody's hiding in there.

Dispatch, I think we've been had.

Excuse me?

There was never anybody in this closet

and there's no sign of babies
in this house.

Oh, no.

Officer Reyes, do you copy?

Mark, look at me.
I need you to put the Kn*fe down.

GRACE: Officer Reyes, this is dispatch.

Please come through.

CARLOS: Mark,
I need you to put the Kn*fe down.

This is so messed up.

- GRACE: Officer Reyes...
- MARK: Did she call you guys?

Hey, I need you to put that Kn*fe down!

I didn't do nothing.
I don't know what's going on.

Drop your w*apon!

- I'm not doing anything.
- CARLOS: Put the Kn*fe down!

Put your w*apon down, Mark.

- I didn't do nothin', okay?
- Put the w*apon down!

Right now! Put the Kn*fe down!

- I didn't do nothing. I didn't...
- (TASER ZAPPING)

CARLOS: Taser. Taser. Taser. Taser.

Dispatch, suspect
was armed with a Kn*fe.

I deployed my Taser.

Taking him to custody now.

Yo. Let's go, turn around.

Mark, come on. Let's go.

Dispatch, code three.
I need EMS assistance right now.

Major Kn*fe injury.
There's a lot of blood.

GRACE: Officer Reyes, are you hurt?

Not me. Suspect fell on his own Kn*fe.

GRACE: Copy you, Officer Reyes.

RAs are already on the scene.

They're on their way.

Stay with me. Alright?

(CHOKING)

TOMMY: Carlos, Carlos?

Carlos, we got it.

He fell on his Kn*fe.

- He wouldn't drop it.
- It's okay.

- Tommy, he wouldn't drop it.
- Alright. Hey.

- I didn't mean... I didn't mean to.
- It's okay.

Please save him.

- It's alright. It's alright.
- Please save him.

(BEEPING)

Losing his pulse.
He's not breathing, Cap.

Starting compressions now.

(MARK GROANING WEAKLY)

(BEEPING CONTINUES)

What happened?

He fell on his own Kn*fe.

Tell me you guys found
the girlfriend and the baby.

- What?
- There were no victims.

- What do you mean?
- He was alone in that house.

It looks like the whole thing
was a prank.

A prank?

(FLATLINE)

Dispatch, call the medical examiner.

He's gone.

JUDD: ♪ The itsy-bitsy
spider went up the water... ♪


Bop.

- ♪ Down came the... ♪
- (DOOR OPENS)

Hey.

Hey, family.

How'd it go with the brass?

It was decided I should probably
take a little time off.

Man, come on. They're gonna
try to lay this at your feet?

No, it was nothing like that.

Um...

It turns out the guy who d*ed, he...

he was a known dealer.

So APD thinks a rival made the call.

They do that to each other sometimes.

Sic the cops on each other,
trying to settle scores.

It's called swatting.

So they know who did it?

Mm-mmm. The call was routed
through a fake IP address.

No, I guess what I'm saying is

that everybody is in agreement
that it ain't your fault?

Yeah. No.

Nobody's blaming me.

I was cleared of all responsibility.

So why are you suspended?

I wasn't suspended.

I took a leave of absence.

So it ain't that...

nobody's blaming you,

it's that you're blaming yourself.

I said I can't trust myself right now.

Because there were signs there.

And I missed all of 'em.

Sweetie, what do you mean signs?

What are you talkin' about?

The caller said that
the guy was smashing stuff...

that he was gonna k*ll her.

Right.

I didn't ask how she got away from him

after that to hide in that
closet without him knowing.

I heard her baby cry.

And every suspicion I had
just went out the window.

Grace, it ain't your job
to be suspicious.

It's a job to help people.

I didn't help anybody.

I got a man k*lled.

I think that it's perfectly natural,

you know, for you to get the yips

after somethin' like this.

But I also want you to know
you're the best dispatcher

in the state of Texas.

And we can't abide you
being mad at yourself.

I just don't know who else to be mad at.

Well, how about the SOB

who, who turned you into a w*apon?

(CHARLIE CRYING)

You know,
it ain't you and it ain't Carlos.

It was whoever was on the other
end of that line that k*lled him.

I forgot about Carlos.

You were with him on the scene
when that guy d*ed?

Yeah.

How did he look?

He looked the way you look right now.

♪ Y'all gonna make me lose my mind ♪

♪ Up in here, up in here ♪

TK: Babe, I know
you're going through it,

but can you please
tone down the rage punching

just a little bit?

I'm not rage punching.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

TK: Thank God, there's the bell.

Round's over.

You gonna get that, Raging Bull?

(PANTING)

Not raging.

- Hey. Hey.
- Grace. Hey.

Can I come in?

CARLOS: Yes. I'm sorry. Come in. Yeah.

- Hi, TK.
- Hey, you.

Oh, am I interrupting lunch?

Oh, no, this isn't lunch.
He eats, like, six times a day.

Did something happen?

(SIGHS)

Yeah, Carlos.

We got played.

That's what happened.

And I don't know about you, but...

I'm angry about it.

Yeah.

I'm frustrated, too.

GRACE: Yeah, but I didn't
say I was frustrated, Carlos.

I said I was angry.

I'm furious.
I'm-I'm pissed off about it.

TK: Oh, he's pissed, Grace.

GRACE: Yeah, he should be.

We were played for some fools...

and a man is dead 'cause of it.

Yeah, okay. I guess I'm
kind of pissed off about that.

You realize that this wasn't
your fault, right?

Yeah, that's... that's what
I keep trying to tell myself.

Well, good.

Good, because I'm telling you, too.

This was not on you or me.

(SIGHS)

Then why does it feel like it is?

Because somebody came
and took our power away.

That's why it feels like this.

And what are we supposed to do about it?

We take it back.

Lets me and you go out here and find out

who's actually responsible for this.

'Cause it's not us.

Grace, I'm...

I'm on mandatory leave from the
department while they investigate.

GRACE: Okay, that's good.
That means you got some time.

APD's already all over it.

They got three detectives.

Someone from Cyber assigned to the case.

And how many cases
do they already have, Carlos?

Because I don't know about you,

but this is the only meal
that I can eat right now.

Grace, I'm a patrol officer,
not a detective.

Yeah, says the guy who just
solved a kidnapping case.

GRACE: Carlos, you have skills...

but you've also got something else.

You?

You've got rage.

(LIVELY COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

I like the hat.

Well, you gotta have a hat
at a h*nky-tonk. Come on.

Thanks for dragging me out tonight.

I really needed this.

- Rough week at the Capitol?
- Hmm.

We had to balance the state budget.

I was hoping to use a scalpel,

but the governor pulled out a machete.

For what it's worth,
I once balanced a budget so well

that it shut down my own firehouse.

Well, at least you didn't
go on cable news afterwards

to sell the public.

Yeah, I don't have
the cheekbones for prime time.

Oh, I think you do.

And you also have that whole

John Travolta "Midnight Cowboy" vibe.

I think you mean "Urban Cowboy"?

"Midnight Cowboy" is a movie
about male prostitution.

- Oh.
- (POUNDING ON TABLE)

(IMITATING RATSO): "I'm walking here!"

Right.

I-I can never keep those straight.

Wanna dance?

I d... I don't really know how.

Come on, I'll teach you.

Uh... I-I should warn you.

I have the rhythm of a flat tire.

You don't have to have
rhythm to two-step.

It's just quick-quick,
slow-slow, quick-quick.

- Just follow me, you'll be fine.
- Okay.

("LOOKIN' FOR LOVE"
BY JOHNNY LEE PLAYING)

♪ And tellin' those sweet lies ♪

♪ And losin' again ♪

♪ I was lookin' for love
in all the wrong places ♪


♪ Lookin' for love in too many faces ♪

This is pretty fun.

You haven't even gotten
to the fun part yet.

Wait, you're not gonna twirl me... Oh.

It's happening...

♪ Hoping to find a friend and a lover ♪

♪ I'll bless the day
I discover another heart ♪


♪ Lookin' for love ♪

God help me if any registered voters

saw me taking two-step lessons
from a New Yorker.

Uh, I'm from Santa Monica, actually.

Oh, great. California. Even better.

You're from Texas,

and this is the first time
you two-stepped.

I never had much interest.

Besides, I spent most
of my prime dancing years

with my nose buried in Con Law books

and reports on highway infrastructure.

Well, from what I just saw,

your prime is ahead of you.

MAN: Hey. Hey.

Hey, you're her.

Yeah, I seen you on the news.

You're the lady that works
for the governor, huh?

I'm her.

Yeah. You're like, uh,
like a little Ann Coulter . .

Except without any kinda
warmth or compassion to ya.

Good one.

Hey, man, I'm just trying
to have a drink with my friend.

MAN: Oh, that's fine.

Yeah, I'm just over here trying to

earn a living for my family, too.

Just like all the thousands
of other oilmen in this state

that you and your boss
clearly don't give a damn about.

Hey, pal? She's off the clock.

Hey, it's fine. I'm used to it.

My father was a roughneck from Midland,

believe me, we care about the people

who keep the lights on.

Well, you sure could have fooled me

with all that
clean energy initiative B.S.

Alright. It's time for you to mosey on.

Okay, Owen, just relax.

I've got this.

You think you're so smart, don't you?

You can dress up in your
power suit and your high heels

and go on Fox and CNN,
but at the end of the day,

you are nothing but a smug piece of...

ALL: Oh!

I warned him.

- You did.
- I warned him.

Just be glad nobody
wanted to press charges.

That's true. And this date
didn't end in a high-speed chase.

I mean, I can't decide
whether that's a step up or...

a step down.

I can't really tell.

Oh, come on, Catherine.
You can't let some meathead

ruin the whole rest of our evening.

And which meathead
would you be referring to?

(SCOFFS) You're talking about me?

Well, why aren't you mad at that guy?

Because I don't know that guy.

And I asked you not to do anything.

Twice, actually.

Yes. And then he called you something

I'm not comfortable
with him calling you.

Uh, who cares what
you're comfortable with?

It wasn't about you.

You should have just let it go,
like I said.

So you'd rather have me
stand back as a coward

while you're bullied by a drunk?

I would rather you let me
handle my business

like a grown-up.

But one thing
I would definitely not rather

is you sucker punching
one of my boss' constituents.

Sucker punch? Oh, please.
You call that a sucker punch?

Both of our shoulders
were clearly squared.

(SCOFFS) Boy, you...
you really don't get it, do you?

No, I-I get it. I just think that...

maybe your anger is a little misplaced.

Oh, go on, Owen.

Please tell me more about
what I should be feeling.

Do you think this is the first time

that somebody's come at me in public?

Most days vitriol comes
with my morning latte.

Vitriol or spit.

- Spit?
- My point is,

if I didn't have skin like rawhide,

I wouldn't have this job.

So I don't need you or anyone
else to defend me, okay?

Okay.

I know you're in the business
of saving people...

I did not ask to be saved.

(DOOR SLAMS)

My buddy in Homicide

- slipped me the case file.
- (ZIPPER UNZIPS)

Everything they know about
the deceased Mark Poling

and the investigation so far.

And they're definitely operating
on the theory it's drug-related.

- Okay.
- Right now they're circling

a few possibles.

Amber Harris, Mark's ex-girlfriend,

Isaac "Herc" Rodriguez.

He's the sh*t-caller for the Rolling s.

And Victor Gaines,

he's a rival dealer from Dove Springs.

Okay. So what do we know
about these people

other than the fact that
they're all frequent fliers?

Amber used to deal with Mark

until about a week ago
when they broke up.

- Okay.
- But my buddy doesn't like her for it.

She seemed devastated by his death.

I see.

And Rodriguez was in Hays County lockup

the night of the incident,

which makes Gaines our lead horse.

He could have had a female
accomplice to make the call.

Apparently, he and Poling
were beefing about territory.

And get this, he was convicted
twice for making swatting calls.

Well, you know, you could have
led with that tidbit, Carlos.

Well, you know,
I like to set up the board

before I utilize the moving pieces.

But just listen to these tapes.

DISPATCHER (OVER LAPTOP):
- - . What's your emergency?

VICTOR GAINES (OVER LAPTOP):
Yeah, my name's Gary Lopez.

- - - Howard Drive.

DISPATCHER : What's going on, Gary?

GAINES: What's going on

is my wife is a cheating whore,

and I want the whole world to know it.

That's why I have to blow
her freakin' brains out!


- (STOPS AUDIO)
- Officers stormed the house,

found Gary Lopez taking a nap

next to his boyfriend.

And five kilos of weed.

- Can you play the next one for me?
- Mm-hmm.

DISPATCHER (OVER LAPTOP):
- - , what's your emergency?

GAINES: My girlfriend's a cheating skank

and I'm gonna blow
her freakin' brains out!


DISPATCHER : Hold on, sir.
Can you tell me where you are?


- (STOPS AUDIO)
- Gaines is a one-trick pony, Carlos.

Yeah, not exactly Pacino, is he?

Where did it say
he made those calls from?

CARLOS: From pay phones.

I didn't even know
pay phones were still a thing.

Our caller spoofed their IP address,

bounced the call across,

I don't know, three different servers.

And they gave
an award-winning performance

with a baby crying on cue.

Doesn't seem like they're
in the same league, does it?

No.

Alright, hon, I just put Charlie down.

I'm headin' to work.

Okay, babe. You be safe.

How's the gumshoeing going?

It's all gum and no shoe right now.

It looks like
we just ran out of suspects.

Drug angle is a bust.

Y'all tried the gaming angle?

There's a gaming angle?

The guy was playing "Dread Ops"
when we went in there

with a top-of-the-line gaming rig

and, you know, camera
for streaming and everything.

You think someone would swat
Mark's house over a video game?

People talk all kinds of trash
about rival streamers.

It gets, uh, pretty nasty,

especially if you got a few
thousand people watching but...

not when it's your boy, though.

Hmm. Says a man

that once threw a controller
through our flat screen.

No, I told you it was
a slip of my wrist, but...

What did you say
the name of the game was?

JUDD: "Dread Ops."

If you picture an open sewer
filled with trolls.

"Dread Ops."

(DOOR OPENS)

Looks like it's time
to go play in the sewer.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Hey, Paul, what are you up to?

Alphabetizing the spice rack.

Why would you alphabetize a spice rack?

To organize it?

It was organized.

Okay, then why did I find

the coriander next to the za'atar?

Because I organize mine
by flavor profile.

Those two are staples
of Mediterranean cooking.

Flavor profile? Come on, Cap.
That is not a thing.

You know, Paul, when you
came back for desk duty,

I pictured you behind more of,
I don't know, like a desk.

I've been sitting around all morning.

Already collated
all the incident reports,

and submitted all the house
billings for the next month.

I was antsy to do something physical.

Good. Then you can help me
put my spices back.

Copy that.

So, togarashis and galangals...

go back over here.

Whoa, Cap, what happened to your hand?

Oh, I think I bumped it.

Probably on that swatting call.

Bumped it? You sure you didn't break it?

No, I didn't break it.

- Captain Vega?
- TOMMY: Yeah.

PAUL: Will you please
come here and take a look

- at Cap Strand's hand?
- No, no, no, no, no.

That is completely unnecessary.

Okay, let's see it, Owen.

Owen, let me see it.

Oh.

- Can you make a fist for me?
- Yes.

Are you sure that's not
exactly how this happened?

Just you making a fist
into somebody's face?

PAUL: Captain Strand,
please tell me Billy Tyson

is not walking around
with a black eye right now.

No.

I'll have you know that I did this

defending my lady's honor

at a h*nky-tonk last night.

Oh, snap. You went all John Wayne

with some drunk redneck in a bar?

The guy was like completely out of line.

And then Catherine blamed me.

What? Why?

She said if she wanted
somebody to rescue her,

she would have asked.

TOMMY: Oh, well.

I can understand that.

Of course, you can. See, this is why

nobody opens doors for anybody anymore.

Well, I'm... I'm sorry.

I'm just surprised that,

well, such a progressive man as yourself

would have such a,
a traditional take on this.

Ooh, no, no.
Don't hit me with traditional.

I'm not some old school,
you know, Dirty Harry

who's just gonna roll up
and punch somebody in the face.

I guess that is me. How do I fix this?

Flowers and chocolate.
Those always work.

Oh, that's not traditional?

Some traditions never die.

It's official.

- I will never understand women.
- Amen, brother.

Bill, I doubt the governor
will be interested

in giving a quote to the paper
that called him,

what was it?

"A bloated old steer bellowing
to be put out to pasture"?

I know it's not your fault.

(WHISPERING): Catherine Harper?

Uh, that's me.

I'm not even saying it's not funny.

Excuse me. These came for you.

Oh. Uh, right here's fine. Thank you.

I know it's your b*at though.

Tell you what.

Give us some love on his new tax cuts

for small businesses tomorrow

and... I'll see what I can do.

Hi to Rosie and the boys.

Oh, my God. Oh, God!

Oh, my God.

_

_

_

- (WAILING)
- (HORN BLARES)

OWEN: How many people
still in the Capitol?

HOWARD: It's mostly evacuated now.

TOMMY: Is the governor still on-site?

Thank God, no.

And the state legislature is in recess.

What can you tell us
about the white powder?

According to the victim,
she was hit with it

when she opened a greeting card.

Has the FBI been notified?

HOWARD: And the CDC.

Their mobile lab is en route.

The greeting card?

Came with a flower delivery.

Well, do you know who delivered it?

Anyone who touched it risks exposure.

A mail room employee.

Miss Harper said
she'd never seen it before.

- We're looking for him.
- Catherine Harper?

The governor's chief of staff, yeah.

Nice lady.

She's self-isolating in her office.

TOMMY: Has she reported any symptoms?

- HOWARD: Not yet.
- Okay, .

CDC is gonna want us to take samples.

The sooner we do that,
the sooner they know what it is,

the sooner we can help people.

Alright, full hazmat suits,

seal every seal, every zipper.

Some of these powders,

a pinprick of 'em will k*ll you.

So there's no margin for error here.

We'll keep it nice and tight, Cap.

OWEN: Alright, let's do it.

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

AFD!

(BREATHES HEAVILY)

- Owen?
- Hey.

I'd like to say
it's good to see you, but, um...

it's kinda not.


We're gonna take care of ya.

- Is that the note?
- Yeah, it came with the flowers.

I thought maybe you sent them. _

- I didn't.
- No.

I-I can feel it on my skin...

inside my lungs.

I breathed it in, Owen.

I know.

Judd, why don't you
bag the note for a sample?

- Swab her.
- JUDD: You got it, Cap.

- OWEN: Marjan, set up a decon shower.
- I'm on it.

OWEN: We need to seal
this whole area off.

Needs to be completely airtight.

JUDD: Please open up for me, ma'am.

Okay. Thank you so much.

This is Tommy. She's gonna assess you.

Hey, Catherine. I'm just gonna
check you out real quick.

How long before
we find out what this is?

You have to take all that to a lab?

Lab's coming to us, actually.



OFFICER (OVER PA): This is
the Austin Police Department.


You are in extreme danger.



(HORN HONKS)

"Men in Black" just pulled up.

Special Agent Eli Barroso, FBI.

Gordon Howard, Capitol Police.

- That the guy we're looking for?
- Yeah.

Excuse me. Can I have
your attention, everyone?

If you see this guy, holler.

Let us handle it.

- Pass these out.
- OFFICER: There you go.

Please, let's keep it moving, everybody.

ELI BARROSO: Get a good look at him.

Let law enforcement know.

We will handle it.

TOMMY: Vitals are good.

- Blood pressure's stable.
- CATHERINE: Oh.

I don't feel so stable.

So stupid. I...

I should have known there was
something up with that kid.

I had never seen him before,
but I-I dropped my guard.

Well, you thought the flowers
were from me.

The card said...

"Now you're really toxic,"

which... doesn't bode well.

Look, we don't know what this is yet.

I had a number of calls just
like this back in Manhattan.

And most of the time they were hoaxes.

What about when they weren't?

Tell me what I'm looking at here, Owen.

There's no reason to go there. Not yet.

I need to know.

(STAMMERS) I can handle it, Owen.

Based on the way that it aerosolized,

we could be looking at anthr*x or ricin.

Okay.

What are the symptoms?

If it's anthr*x, you'll get
a fever, muscle aches,

your glands will begin to swell.

But we can treat that with antibiotics.

And what about ricin?

Within one to four hours,
you will have trouble breathing.

You may begin to hemorrhage internally.

Your blood pressure will drop.

And then organ failure.

Okay.

Uh...

So what's the treatment for that?

There is no treatment.

I see.

I really wish those flowers
had been from you.

Me, too.

TK: Everybody,
whoever was in the building,

if you're feeling lightheaded
or dizzy, please let us know.

Hey, do you have any idea how
long they're gonna keep us here?

My phone's already blowing up
with texts from parents.

It's not up to me, sir.

What's happening?
I had to park like three blocks away.

It's a t*rror1st att*ck.

Hey!

Hey, it's you!

It's the guy!

The guy with the lattes,
he's the t*rror1st!

- That's him! That's him!
- (INDISTINCT YELLING)

Whoa.

I don't know who sent the flowers.

I just delivered them.

MATEO: I can't believe
I captured a t*rror1st, man.

A t*rror1st who goes on a coffee run?

BARROSO: How come
you don't have a Capitol ID?

Why is it nobody who works here
seems to know who you are?

I-I'm a temp.

The flowers, where'd they come from?

I don't know.
They were just on the cart.

So they just magically appeared, huh?

I didn't say that.

What's going on?
You're making me very nervous.

What?



Hey. Medical coming in!

- MATEO: Hey, what do you need?
- Grab my bag.

Captain Vega, do you copy?

Here, TK. What's up?

TK (OVER RADIO): They found
the kid who delivered the flowers.


They were grilling him.
He started hemorrhaging

and then he collapsed.

Hemorrhaging how?

TK: Nosebleed.

TOMMY: TK, listen to me.

Get away from him now.
No one comes near him.

No. Cap. Listen...

Just do it, TK.

Alright, everybody, get back.

Everybody back up. Get back.

- Get back, get back.
- MATEO: Back up!

Mateo, I want you
to cordon off that patient.

Nobody goes near him
without a hazmat suit.

He's considered a biohazard.
Are we clear?

Yes, sir. On it.



So, bad news, I'm guessing?

Is he dead?

I don't know.

We're not gonna jump
into conclusions, okay,

until we hear from the lab.

I'm so sorry.

You're sorry? Sorry for what?

All you wanted was to protect me before

and I wouldn't let you.

Now I want nothing more and...

there's not a thing you can do.



JUDD (OVER RADIO):
Captain Strand, come in.

Hey, Captain Strand, do you copy?

- Go ahead.
- JUDD: Cornstarch.

Come again.

That powder that they hit your lady with

ain't nothin' but cornstarch.

Cornstarch?

Cornstarch?

(BOTH SIGH DEEPLY)

TOMMY: TK, do you copy?

TK (OVER RADIO): Yeah, Cap, here.

How's the kid who collapsed doing?

- He's still down.
- TOMMY: Is he still bleeding?

I-I can't tell. He's face down.

TOMMY: I need you to check him out.

I thought he was a biohazard.

The situation here has evolved.

TK: On it, Cap.

Cap, bleeding's stopped,
but he's still down.

TOMMY: TK, I need you
to administer ammonia snaps.


See if you can get him to come around.

Copy. Mateo, ammonia snaps.

Yeah.

- Need one?
- Yeah. Right here.

- (SCREAMS, GASPS) Oh, my God!
- TK: Hey!

Cap, he's back.

Tell him he's gonna be just fine.

What just happened?

My bet, vasovagal syncope.

Vaso what now?

He fainted at the sight
of his own blood.

So... when do you get off?

Are you asking me out?

You've already showered.

You're gonna change first, right?

Yeah.

What up, nutsacks?

- Today we're gonna...
- CARLOS: Max Giblets?

GRACE: Yeah, that's what
he called himself online.

- (SIGHS)
- You okay?

Yeah, it's just,
it's strange seeing him alive.

Yeah.

MARK: A lot of you
guys avoid the badlands.


But there is always good stuff
to be found out here.


I can't believe people
stream themselves doing this

and other people actually watch it.

Oh, yeah, it's huge.

Some people get
sponsorships and everything.

Mark only had a couple dozen followers,

but some people have millions.

Look at this potato.

(RAPID g*nf*re IN GAME)

Whoa!

Bathe in red mist, biatch!

Wasn't exactly a charmer, was he?

I mean, no, but he still
didn't deserve to die.

No, I, I just mean he's giving us

a big new pool of suspects.

Just look at all the trash talk
in the comments.

"Uninstall, tweaker."
"Your mom has better moves."

- "Burn in hell."
- GRACE: Hmm.

Each one's from a different user.

How do we even start
narrowing this thing down?

You know, Judd said some of
these guys have key rivals.

So I think maybe we watch the videos,

cross-reference the comments,

and then just see if anybody
pops up more than once.

Hmm. And lose a few brain cells
while we're at it.

And that.

(g*nf*re IN GAME)

Oh, my God. He's using an AK?

Okay, so, H maker says,
"You're trash."

CARLOS: Megalo says he's, "Hot trash."

Oh, my God, I hate these bots!

Ballsout says, "Suck it,
you meth-mouth, cheat queen."

- Hmm.
- Hold on.

Biatch! Where you gonna go?

You think you can hide from me?

KimmaMama calls him a smurf-ass bitch.

What's a "smurf-ass bitch"?

Somebody who plays games
under their skill level.

It's not cool at all.
I don't know how they allow it.

- Judd. He was, he was telling me about.
- Hmm.

Oh, we're doing this again, Megalo ?

I've seen Storm Troopers
with better aim than you.


- You hear that?
- (g*nf*re ON LAPTOP)

Yeah, I did.

Megalo is one of Mark's trolls.

Sounds like they have a history.

Hold on. Let me see what
I can pull up on his handle.

Sometimes these people use the
same one across social networks.

Yeah, it looks like Megalo
has a gaming stream of his own.

Check out the names of these clips.

"Giblets goes down." "Giblets hunt."

Grace, look at the dates on those.

That's the day Mark d*ed.

Everybody knows Giblets is

a rage-quitting, aim-botting bitch boy.

And today, he's gonna get his.

Watch me stalk the unsuspecting prey.

Oh, but first,
I gotta deal with this rando.


Boom!

Ha, ha, ha!

God's plan.

Ah, and another.

- (g*nsh*t)
- Oh! God's plan!

Cute catchphrase.

Yeah, that's one word for it.

Oh, where were we? Oh, that's right.

Taking down
my favorite bitch boy Giblets.


- (g*nsh*t)
- (CHARACTER LAUGHING)

No way! No!

That tweaker trash must
have been watching my stream!


Come on! Giblets,
you cheating piece of...


Carlos, look at the comments.

CARLOS: Giblets LOL'd him to eternity.

What's the next video?

Hold tight, megalomaniacs.

'Cause Giblets' reckoning is nigh.

We know he's tweaked out on meth,

'cause he doesn't hide it.

Now this, stream-sniping bitch boy

thinks he can mess up my ranking?

Well, the game's about to find him IRL,

'cause I'm sending him a surprise.

Giblets, you're a fly.

A gnat. An annoying bug.

Do you know what happens to gnats?

They get squashed!

- Did he just confess?
- Yeah, that's what it sounds like.

It's more than enough for a warrant.

Let me see if I can find
his real name on his socials.

Hold on.

Here it is. Looks like
his name is Derrick Humphrey.

Any chance there is an address?

I'd like to be there for this bust.

GRACE: Let me check.

Not unless you cool
with getting on a plane.

Why? Where is he?

(BICYCLE BELL RINGS)

- (WOMAN SCREAMS)
- OFFICER: Freeze!

- Move, move, move.
- LAPD. Hands on your head.

Please don't sh**t me!
Please don't sh**t me!

ATHENA GRANT: Relax, honey.

Nobody's gonna sh**t you.

DERRICK HUMPHREY: Douchebag!

(DERRICK YELLS)

Boom! Ha, ha, ha!

Yeah, that's what's up, baby. Whoo!

You got yourself a real catch.

Whoo. Boom!

God's plan!

- What the hell?
- Game over, Derrick.

Hands on your head.

Derrick Humphrey,

you are under arrest
for making a swatting call

to Mark Poling of Austin, Texas.

Also for fraud, conspiracy...

- Ow!
- ...and m*rder.

What? It was just a joke.

It was just a joke!

Not as much fun when SWAT comes
knocking at your door, is it?

(SIREN WAILS)

CARLOS (OVER PHONE): Wait, you got him?

Oh, yeah, we got him.

Derrick's girlfriend flipped on him

faster than a beachfront condo.

She said they've been making
swatting calls all over the country.


These gamers play dirty.

So does that mean that
was her voice on the call?

Oh, yeah.

She's an aspiring actress.

I think she may have gotten
her first agent today.

Of course, he'll be working for the FBI.

What about the baby?

They recorded some sounds
from the Internet.

Yeah, they got quite
the little home studio here.


Wow. Sergeant Grant, we...

we really can't thank you enough.

Seriously, you have no idea

how much this means to the both of us.

You guys did all the hard work.

I just showed up for the fun, Detective.

I'm not a detective, actually.

You're kiddin'?
You could have fooled me.

Nope, just a patrol officer.

There's no such thing
as just a patrol officer, son.

Folks in Austin are lucky to have

the both of y'all looking out for them.

Well, listen, if you are ever in town,

we'd love to meet you in person.

Well, I would like that.

I'm sorry. Sergeant Grant,
is that our suspect behind you?

Yeah, it is.

You mind if we say hey
before they transport him?

GRANT: I think that can be arranged.

Just wanna say hey.

GRANT: Here he is.

Derrick, say hello
to my friends Grace and Carlos.

They're the reason your dumb ass
is in handcuffs today.

And they didn't have to
get off their couch to do it.

You know, I just had
to admit, Derrick, you, uh,

you really had me fooled.

You had me question myself
for the first time.

You were clever.
I didn't think we'd catch you.


You got lucky.

Oh, no, sir. It wasn't luck.

I can tell you what it was, though.

It was God's plan, bitch.

- (GRANT LAUGHS)
- (LAUGHS, COUGHS)

I like her.

Me, too.

How are you feeling?

Good.

This is a lot easier than the two-step.

It's easier on my toes.

(SOFT CHUCKLE) Shut up.

You sure you don't wanna
get our act back together?

We could take it on the road.

There are plenty of h*nky-tonks

that I haven't been trespassed outta.

Oh. I think we should
stay inside tonight.

- Yeah.
- Feels safer.

It's safe in here.

Oh, I wasn't talking about me.

I just can't risk you punching out

any more Travis County voters.

I feel like I'm doing them a service

by keeping you indoors.

Has anyone ever told you you might have

a slight anger management problem?

Hmm. Only my anger management counselor.

I mean, it's in his
best interests to say it.

Hmm.

I am sorry I punched the guy.

I promise that I will not
go into full hero mode again.

Oh. Well, that would be a shame.

You know, when I saw you coming
through those doors today...

I had one thought running
through my mind over and over.

What's that?

"Catherine Harper...

"if you make it out of this alive...

you are jumping that man's bones."

Hmm. Did anybody check him?

Did they check who?

The guy that I punched...

that I absolutely shouldn't have,

but totally deserved it?

Maybe he sent the anthr*x.

- Mm. Cornstarch.
- Cornstarch, right.

Owen we get, like,

pieces of hate mail a day
at the Capitol.

The governor has lots of enemies.

But it was addressed to you.

And as someone who advocates
for the governor,

I have my fair share of enemies, too.

They're mostly kooks.

Generally harmless.

And we have people looking into it.

Can we just...
leave this all outside tonight?

Mm. No. What's this about...

jumping bones?

CATHERINE: Mm-hmm.

(GASPS)

- Oh!
- What is it?

(GASPS)

(CATHERINE GASPS)

I guess I'm not the only one
with enemies.
Post Reply