05x06 - San Francisco

[bunniefuu]

♪ Nobody knows ♪

♪ All the trouble I've seen ♪

♪ Nobody knows ♪

♪ All my sorrow ♪

♪ Glory, glory ♪

♪ Glory, hallelujah ♪

♪ Glory, glory ♪

- ♪ Let me hear you ♪
- ♪ Glory, hallelujah ♪

- ♪ Nobody knows ♪
- ♪ Nobody knows ♪

♪ No, no, no ♪

♪ All the trouble I've seen ♪

- ♪ Nobody knows ♪
- ♪ Nobody knows ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ All my sorrow ♪

♪ Glory ♪

- ♪ Glory ♪
- ♪ Glory ♪

♪ Glory ♪

- ♪ Glory ♪
- ♪ Glory, hallelujah ♪

♪ Say it again... ♪

- SAM: Hi, Ron.
- RON: Sam!

I heard you were coming up to
San Fran for the table read.

SAM: I didn't think I'd be able
to get out, but I'll be there.

RON: Super happy to get
you on this production.

- SAM: See you soon, Ron.
- RON: Fly safe.

♪ I've been used ♪

♪ And I've been scorned... ♪

Are you serious right now?

Like the sh*t is actually
gonna clean itself?

Hello?

Duke?

Anyone? Can someone help
me with the groceries?

Anyone?!

♪ But you've got to stay ahead... ♪

DUKE: Can you read it out loud?

- What do you think?
- I like this line.

Uh, it's a metaphor.

"I see the world looking at my mirror."

Like, you're saying everything you do

is through the phone.

Is there another word
besides "mirror" you can use?

But it-it looks like a mirror.

There was a whole show.

I-I don't know what to tell you.

Uh, it's-it's moofy in here.

♪ Glory, hallelujah ♪

♪ Nobody, nobody, nobody ♪

- Madam.
- Thank you.

PILOT: We're now making our
descent into San Francisco,

where the current temperature
is a cool degrees.

On behalf of our L.A.-based crew,

we'd like to thank you all
for flying with us today.

♪ Nobody, nobody ♪

Ooh. Vermont.

I'm in Vermont.

See? It's snowing.

Oh.

Cool. Hi.

Sam. Jonah. I'm your first AD.

- Oh, hello. Yes.
- Yeah, okay.

Uh, so, the DP is waiting

'cause we're running a bit behind.

- Uh...
- Have we... worked...

Yeah. Monsters in the Moonlight.

Toilets, safety meeting.

Yeah, sorry about that.

- Oh... [CHUCKLES]
- Yeah.

You can have my toilet. Mm-hmm.

Good to see you again.

I guess that makes you my boss now, huh?

[SCOFFS] All right.

Let's go, boss lady.
Let's get the day started.

Boss lady?

f*ck you.

Hey, um, did you guys not
see the pile of dog sh*t

at the bottom of the stairs?

[CHUCKLES]: Are you, like,
saving it for something?

For science, or...

That's the Exxon Valdez of dog sh*t.

Eh?

I'll clean it up later.

- Yeah, you're welcome.
- [CHEWY BARKS]

No.

No.

f*ck you.

Come on, baby.

Go poo outside.

JONAH: That's a cut.

Um, can you play that again, please?

- Can you get them to...
- Willow,

can you play that back, please?

Yes! Welcome to my playground.

- [LAUGHS]
- Hey!

I'm so glad you decided to do this.

Ugh. I can't... I'm so happy to be here.

Hey, everybody, how about this one, huh?

- Stop it.
- Yeah, and look at this one.

- Look at this one. Right?
- I know, I love her!

- I'm keeping her.
- Look, go back to work.

- Okay. Thank you.
- You're brilliant. I love you.

- Talk to you later.
- Thank you. Thanks, Ron.

So, you're good with
it? It was pretty...

- Eh.
- Yeah. Uh, you know.

- Okay.
- Looks like the rest of the series.

- Yeah, okay. All right.
- MAX: Guys,

the house is a mess.
We need to clean up.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Pepper, that's not Duke's
room anymore. That's my room.

I know.

And Duke?

Uh, in your old room.

We're taking space.

She's being in a way.

[SIGHS]

[SCOFFS]

Is this a shitty trip?

It's-it's a shitty trip.
It's no good, is it?

It's fine.

Screw that. She's been in a weird place.

Like, I know it. Everyone knows.

Let's get out of the house.
Would you like that?

Does Duke have to come?

MAX: Duke, Duke, Duke.

This is this lady's last day in L.A.

So we're gonna air you b*tches out.

Drop your cocks and grab your socks.

Let's go, gentlemen.

["MANGOANE" BY MANHATTAN
BROTHERS PLAYING]

No, Pepper, don't go in my room.

ANA: Sam, oh, my God,
it is so good to see you.

Remember when we last worked together?

We played the sex workers
in Women of Importance.

I swear, if I saw your boobs any more,

I'd pay for your boob lift myself, okay?

Copy that. Ana, uh,
they need you in wardrobe.

You keep on eating, okay? Mwah. See you.

What? It's just an egg.

And... cut.

- Cutting!
- Jesus.

Whew.

Cool. You have any
notes, or any thoughts?

- Uh...
- It's a network show.

Yeah, I felt pretty
good about that scene.

Is there one kid that,
like, drives you crazy?

Oh, yeah. Dan. He's so annoying.

Yes. Yes!

Dan is annoying.

That's exactly what
I'm-I'm trying to get to.

Like, you know, do you feel that?

He's-he's just plain annoying.

Yeah. Yeah.

Um, so...

Oh. Wave at your mom.

- Hi, Mom.
- [MOUTHS]

Okay.

You want one?

JONAH: Boss lady, this way.

Oh, thank you.

RON: Kevin, have you seen your mother?

She's at the farm stand.

I got a bottle!

Uh, is he gonna do it like that?

- Hold, please.
- Cut! Everybody reset to one.

- Uh, yeah, no... Yeah.
- Yep, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

You know what? When we do it again,

the next time you say you got a bottle,

you're just telling him some info.

Okay? So, you want to practice it now?

Yeah, sure. I got a bottle!

Uh...

You know, I like it
when the light, like,

I love that... the dapple. The dapple.

I love that. Oh...

So that could be like

the sun... How's the chicken?

Mmm. It's good.

Yep.

- Let's take a deep breath. In.
- BOSTON: Okay.

And blow it out.

Just say it normal.

Okay.

I got a bottle!

Ha! That's funny.

Everything okay? Question mark.

How are the girls? Question mark.

Don't forget to lock the doors at night.

Exclamation point. Exclamation point.

_

You good?

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

No. don't. [CHUCKLES]

[PHONE CHIMES]

I'm such a dummy.

I forgot, I have an
appointment at the bank.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

All right, take three is
up, everyone, take three.

Take three! We're running behind.

SAM: Okay, let's try this.

The next time you say you got a bottle,

just throw it away, like you don't care.

You mean like: I got a bottle!

SAM: Oh! No! No. Jesus.

No. Ar... Is everybody okay?

Yeah. Okay. Hmm.

Bah, bah, bah. Okay.

How about this?

Um, you got a bottle.

And it's a secret, right?

- _
- Okay, so, try that.

I got a bottle!

Okay, no.

How about this? Um...

- _
- You found this glass bottle,

and it's dangerous,

and who knows what
you're gonna do with it.

Are you gonna break
it? Did you steal it?

Maybe both.

You're dangerous. You're danger.

I got a bottle.

That'll work.

- Good job, Boston.
- Thanks.

Yeah.

[LINE RINGING]

Hi, this is Max. If you need
to get ahold of me, just text.

SAM: Just checking on you. Period.

Felling guilty that I'm away. Period.

Is everything okay
by you? Question mark.

[WHOOSH]

_

JONAH: We're ready for you.

[CLEARS THROAT]

I said if you're smoking,
you got to be feet away.

Oh. Yes.

- Mm-hmm.
- , feet.

It's out.

All right.

BOSTON'S MOTHER: Can I...

I know this is your first time

working on the show,

so I just want to make sure you're aware

that we only refer to my son
by his character name on set.

So there's no Boston.

It's only Kevin.

Oh... Okay.

It's like Stanislavski. [CHUCKLES]

Is he gonna gain pounds for the part?

He would.

He takes his work very seriously.

Yes, of course.

Yes. Mm-hmm.

Would you like to practice?

Um...

- Kevin?
- Very good.

Eli, this kid drives me f*cking nuts.

We'll get him there.

Thank you for hanging in, king.

I appreciate you, man.

Getting too old for this sh*t.

SAM: Wh..

Wha...

WOMAN: Okay, everybody, take two is up.

- Take two.
- JONAH: Take two!

[SHARP INHALE]

- Hey.
- Hey...

Hey...

I got good news and bad news.

The wine rep came by today with samples.

What's the bad news?

The wine rep came by today with samples.

ANA: Somehow, I knew you'd say that.

- RON: Mmm.
- Can we hold...

here, please?

- Yeah.
- JONAH: Cut.

One second.

- It was great, Ana. Ron.
- Hmm?

Uh, Dooley is usually so formal,

but he's letting loose for once here,

so maybe throw in some
physical comedy here,

- like a little Charlie Chaplin.
- Who the fu... Oh.

You're gonna tell me about my character.

I am the bible of me.

Yes. I... No, I'm so sorry.

Oh, no, I've just done episodes,

but, yes, please, tell us

how Dooley responds
to three tasting pours

of afternoon Chablis, Sam.

I...

Oh.

Copy.

[RON SIGHS]

[RON CLEARS THROAT]

We should, uh...

start over...

if you want to, um...

RON: So, we going again?

Uh, yeah. Yes.

Sor-Sorry about that, uh...

I...

[WHISPERS]: Yeah. Thought
I was helping, but...

[NORMAL VOLUME]: Yeah. Ana,
back to one. Yeah.

- [DOOR OPENS]
- [MAX SIGHS]

- [MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
- [DOOR CLOSES]

[SCREAMS]

Oh, my God. Are you kidding me?

I thought you said you
were gonna clean this up.

- I'm sorry.
- So gross.

Don't bother trying to hide it.

I'm not stupid.

Now I know why it's been smelling

like a state fair in here.

What does a state fair smell like?

Dog sh*t, funnel cakes and cotton candy.

These are my Michael Kors shoes.

Max, I'm sorry.

So gross.

- What's up, Mom?
- Hey, buddy.

- You ready?
- Yeah.

This is the scene we talked about.

Yes, I know.

Okay, so, just so you know,

I'm gonna give you
all the time you need.

I won't wrap until you're happy.

- Okay?
- You got two takes.

Two takes?

What happened to "What's up, Mom"?

Mom, you got two takes.

My manager said it's not
good for my mental health

to do it more than twice.

Okay.

Sorry.

[GROANS]

Hey, Mom.

- Having a good day?
- Yeah.

I just have a little bit of whiplash.

[CHUCKLES]

[CLEARS THROAT]

So, uh...

- are we good?
- Oh.

Sam, look, I'm sorry.

Look, I... In my head,
I was in Williamstown

doing a play with you, and I'm like,

"Who does this little thing think she is

giving me a note?"

I wasn't seeing you where you are now.

I was time traveling. Being a diva.

Come on, I'm sorry. I love you.

- Oh, I love you, too.
- Yeah. Yeah.

- Thanks, Ron.
- Yeah.

- Oh, I appreciate that.
- Yeah.

Thanks, Ron.

Williamstown.

Was that the play where
you were my therapist?

No, stepfather. The
therapist was the miniseries.

I played your college
friend, then your therapist,

- then your evil stepdaddy.
- [LAUGHS]

I aged years in months.

Had to get the hell away from you

- before I turned to dust.
- [LAUGHS]

Hey, we trying to wrap everybody.

Y'all seen that extra? I
think her name was Carla.

She was wearing a pink top.

Not guilty, so you might
as well keep looking.

Please, my mom told me about you.

I know all the extras magically wound up

in your trailer after the show wrapped.

Yeah, we did have some fine extras

on Preaching to the Choir.

Now, I don't do sh*t. [SCOFFS]

You a liar. You know you a dog

that can't stay on the porch.

Just find her so we can
get the hell out of here.

Eli, what... Dog? A por...

- [SCOFFS]
- SAM: Oh, yeah.

- A dog?
- I'm gonna... No.

- No. No.
- Me?

But, uh, you are on the porch, though.

Finest damn extras. Whew.

Hi, Mikilola.

- Hey.
- Oh, hey.

- Hey.
- Good job back there, by the way.

- Oh.
- Especially with the kid and his mom.

- I know they're a lot.
- Yeah.

It's like a television show.

It's like a real, live television show.

- Thank God.
- Yeah.

Kevin's mom wants me to
remind you he has a hard out

at : , all right?

Thanks, lady boss.

Okay. I-I'm just... [CHUCKLES]

cracking up thinking about

my mom going up to Norman Lear

and telling him that I have a hard out.

Who's Norman Lear in this scenario?

- You are.
- Please.

You're doing the damn thing, Elijah.

Well, so are you.

You've been in this game a long time.

Longevity is not easy to come by.

Yeah, well, I really appreciate that,

and I'm just glad to be here.

And actually, I'm very
surprised to have gotten the job.

- Yeah.
- Why?

Well, you know.

No, I don't.

I'm not that experienced at directing,

and I'm... not...

Black?

Uh, yeah.

Are you really gonna make me comfort you

for being white right now?

Oh. No. I didn't... No. No.

Sam, sit down.

Look, at the beginning of this season,

I told the network I wanted
to bring in women directors

that inspired me when I was a kid.

Debbie Allen was one of those women.

- Mm.
- And so are you.

I used to watch Mystic
Flow as a kid all the time.

And me and my mom loved
Who's Got the Butter?

- [LAUGHS]
- That was our sh*t.

I still watch the reruns.

Black people always bring up that show.

It was a good show.

That was a terrible, terrible show.

Plus, I also got fired from that.

Oh, yeah, you did.

- Yo, that was crazy.
- Yes.

We did like the actress
they replaced you with.

Oh, thanks.

But you were always our favorite.

Thank you.

I tell people all the time

I grew up in a two-parent household...

My mom and the TV.

You helped raise me.

You're a real OG.

People throw that word
around all the time,

but you're a real one.

You know actors, you know crews.

You learned everybody's name.

And you're gonna get me
home in time to help my kid

- with their homework.
- Mm.

I love making TV.

It's a dream come true.

If I can't spend time with my family,

what's the f*cking point?

Facts.

All right, that's your
white woman TED Talk.

- Get off my cart.
- Oh, yes.

- Yes. Thank you so much.
- Mm-hmm.

All right, have a great day.

- You too.
- This is great.

- Thanks, Elijah!
- Mm-hmm.

g*dd*mn it.

Here we go.

[SIGHS]

What's going on with you?

Where did you even get a vape?

- Have you heard of popcorn lung?
- Okay,

people do it all the time.

Well, they're f*cking stupid.

Do you know what it
does to your-your skin

and your bones and your cerebral cortex?

- Okay, I don't do it that much.
- Don't do it at all, Duke.

Okay, okay. Just, like,
can we not do this, though?

I know what it's like to be .

I remember. I almost k*lled Mom.

is a nightmare for
all parties, but...

But I don't know what
it's like to be now.

You do.

Yes. What is your point?

The dog sh*t again.

I'll clean it up.

I'll get the Metamucil. [CHUCKLES]

MAX: Come here.

Hey.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER IN DISTANCE]

_

- Hi.
- Hi.

Uh, just drinks today, or food, too?

Oh, um, just a drink, I think, for now.

- Sure.
- Unless you have fries.

[CHUCKLES] These are your cocktails.

Yes. Yes, they are.

- Okay.
- Uh, take your time.

Okay. Thank you.

Mm... bap, bap.

[MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]

[PHONE RINGING]

- Hi, Mom.
- Hi!

How's it go... What are you...

Why are you in my bed?

Wh-Why are you eating in my bed?

What are you eating?

Is it pho? I heard it was "fuh."

"Fah." "Fu."

What do you call it?

This was too much to ask you, right?

Just please tell me.

I-I-I can take it.

This was too much.

To be honest, Mom,

like, this mom sh*t is not for pussies.

But, actually,

this time has been really...

good.

Besides the dogs needing
diapers from now on, LOL.

How was your last day?

Oh, it was, uh...

It was good. Thank you for asking.

You did a good job?

Well, I did a job, and it felt good.

I don't know how good of a job I did.

[CHUCKLES]

Mom, I'm watching
a Brian De Palma movie.

- Call me later.
- Wait, wait.

What movie?

And there you are.

Oh, no, I didn't order that.

Oh, it was from someone down the bar.

What? Where? Who?

Uh, they're right over there.

Where? I don't see...

Oh.

Oh, no.

No, no, no, no.

No. No. No.

No, no. [GROANS]

Mm-mmm.

Send it back.

Uh, she said that it was for you,

and you would know what that means.

It's like a...

little big-titty lady in her s?

Smug look on her face?

Uh, I think so.

I mean, she's smiling at you right now.

Yeah. [GROANS]

Yeah, no. I don't want to see.

Um, she's, uh, she's waving at you.

That's fine.

Just let her do that.
It'll tire her out.

Do you still want the drink?

No. No. I don't.

I would like to order
my own drink, please.

Take it aw... But just one second.

Is that... That's fresh
mint on there, hmm?

Uh, yes, it is. And,
uh, homemade ginger beer.

Let me just...

Yeah. Thank you.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Yeah, I really like it.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[CLICKS TONGUE] Um...

is she still staring?

BARTENDER: Oh, yeah.

- Thank you.
- No worries.

[SIGHS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

I'm not gonna go.

You rascal.

Go ahead.

Tell me about your day.

Well, my day was lovely.

I took a ferry to Alcatraz,

and I can now say for certain

there's no way those convicts survived.

You see, if I'd try to be one...

["GREATEST DEBT TO MY MOTHER"
BY HENRY BROOKS PLAYING]

♪ Mother ♪