01x05 - Wrongway Feldman

[bunniefuu]

♪ Just sit right back ♪

♪ and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ a tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ that started
from this tropic port ♪

♪ aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ the mate was a mighty
sailin' man ♪

♪ the skipper
brave and sure ♪

♪ passengers
set sail that day ♪

♪ for a -hour tour ♪

♪ a -hour tour ♪

[thunder]

♪ The weather
started getting rough ♪

♪ the tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪

♪ the minnow
would be lost ♪

♪ the minnow
would be lost ♪

♪ the ship set ground
on the shore ♪

♪ of this uncharted
desert isle ♪

♪ with gilligan ♪

♪ the skipper, too ♪

♪ the millionaire ♪

♪ and his wife ♪

♪ the movie star ♪

♪ and the rest ♪

♪ are here
on gilligan's isle ♪

oh, it's real.

Oh!

Oh, it's got an engine
and wheels and wings

and a propeller and--oh,
I've got to tell somebody!

Oh! Oh, boy!

[Clanging]

You stay right here!
Don't go away!

Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

How are we doing,
professor?

How are we doing?

Well,
it's remarkable.

Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?

Well, considering
the fact that this plane

must have landed here
or years ago,
it's remarkable.

But can we get it
off the ground?

Well, I don't know.
I'm not sure.

Oh, it's too bad
i couldn't find

a brand-new plane
that could fly.

With a great big
powerful jet engine.

Yeah. With a great big
powerful jet pilot.

You know something?

I believe this engine
could be repaired

if I could fix
the fuel line.

Then we're saved!
We can fly it
out of here!

There's only
one problem, gilligan.

None of us
knows how to fly.

Well, we can learn,

because the skipper was
on an aircraft carrier.

Oh, a lot of good
that'll do us, gilligan.
I was cook.

My roommate
was a stewardess.

I knew a crop duster
once in Kansas.

You see? With all
that experience,
we can do it.

Gilligan, we haven't
got enough experience
to fly a kite.

I'm afraid
the skipper's right.
We could never do it.

We'd be better off
salvaging the parts
of the plane.

Oh, well,
it was a peachy idea
while it lasted.

See ya.

Oh, let's go
fix dinner.

Cheer up,
gilligan.

Professor,
don't you think
it's worth a chance?

That's all you'd get,
gilligan. One chance.

Professor,
we've got one chance.
We've got to take it.

We've got to take it!

Now, come on, I'll
clean off the tail gear,

gilligan, you get
that cockpit clean.

Alright, I'll look
at this instrument panel.

At the what?
The instrument
panel.

Oh. Cockpit.

Thurston, have you
any idea where we are?

Not the faintest.

[Yelling]

Over here!

Oh, yes.

I'm telling you,
this is absolutely...

Over there,
over there.

Yes, yes. I heard the--
i heard the sound.

Oh, thurston,
this is ghastly!

Next time, we'll take
a live-in guide.

Yes.

Say, this instrument panel
is in pretty good shape.

Good.
Then our chances
are better, huh?

Oh, thurston!

Gilligan was
absolutely right!

It is an airplane!

Obviously non-schedule.
Let's go, lovey.

Gilligan:
Look at this!

"The spirit of the Bronx."

The spirit
of the Bronx.

The spirit
of the Bronx!

Say, that was
wrong way feldman's
plane.

That's right.
The one he used on his
around the world trip.

Looks like
more half-way
around the world.

Wrong way feldman,
so that's what's
happened to him.

It seems
like yesterday,

and it was
really way back
in the thirties.

I read all about him.
He was a great pilot.

Not as far as howell
aircraft was concerned.

We invested money
in his first plane.

Yes, that was the one
that went non-stop

from Chicago
to New Orleans.

That was pretty good
for those days.

He was supposed
to fly to Minneapolis.

The fool flew
the wrong way.

I guess that's how
he got his nickname, huh?

No. He got that
during world w*r I.

He bombed his
own airfield. Pow!

Regardless, he still
did a lot for aviation.

And at least
he was a pilot!

For my money,
i wish he was
here right now.

Oh, I can still
remember him
from the newsreels.

That jet-black hair
and that slim waist

and that
flying suit.

And that wonderful
white scarf,

flying in the wind.

Aw, poor wrong way.

I wonder if there's
a chance he could
have survived.

On the contrary,

wrong way feldman
has gone

to the great hangar
in the sky.

Knowing wrong way,
it's hard to tell
which way he went.

I'll tell you where I went.

I'm right here.

Oh!
I don't believe it!

Wrong way,
you're alive?

Surprised, huh?

Well, but how
did you manage
all these years?

Are you--are you really
wrong way feldman?

Who else could I be?

I've been alone
on this island
all these years.

And then I saw
this young fella
nosing around my plane.

Oh, I'm gilligan,
Mr. feldman, sir.

You may call me
wrong way.

Thank you. Thank you,
and this is Mrs. howell

and the skipper
and the professor--

oh, madam,
you are beautiful.

Gilligan:
And that's Mr. howell.

Certainly.
It would be.

Come along, lovey.

You see, thurston's
just a little bit
jealous.

I'm not jealous.
I just don't want him

slobbering over
those expensive gloves.
Come along.

Boy, stranded
on the same island
with wrong way feldman.

We sure are lucky!

Oh, thank you,
gilligan.

You're
an amazing man.

How did you
manage to survive
all these years?

Physical fitness,
iron will,

perseverance, and
bottles of scotch.

Scotch?

Where did you
get the scotch?

In with my provisions.

You know,
i had everything.

I had food,
gasoline, magazines--

gasoline?
You had gasoline?

Well, certainly.

Why didn't you
fly out of here?

With that engine?

After the first years,
i gave up trying to fix it.

That's hopeless.

Oh, wait a minute.
Maybe it isn't.

With the spare parts
i salvaged from the boat,

I might be able to fix it.

You can fix
a kreider-reichman?
A kr- ?

Well, I'll certainly
give it a try.

That's the spirit!
You fix her up,
I'll fly her right out!

Mr. wrong way, you're
the best thing that
ever happened to us.

Just a minute now.
There's much work
to be done.

That's right, men.
We've got much
work to do.

Wrong way,
the supply hut's
this way.

Oh, alright.

Professor, this bolt's
the wrong size.

See if there's some others
in the toolbox, will you?

Alright, skip.

Wrong way: Possibly,
this papaya punch is
partly past its prime.

Well, it's hard
to believe.

Planes without
propellers at
miles an hour?

And some
go even faster.

Yes. I certainly must
have missed a lot.

New planes
and new inventions

and no more
rumble seats.

No more Liberty
magazine.

And you missed
the second world w*r.

The second one?

So that's what
that was.

I always wondered
what that noise was.

Do you remember
the first world w*r?

Do i--yes! I was an Ace,
my boy, an Ace.

Oh, that was a big one.
No picnic up there.

Dodgin' them b*ll*ts.

Diving in and out
in my Bristol scout.

Oh, and I met
some great pilots
in them days.

You should have
seen my wing man--
bucky Lorenzo.

He was good, huh?

Good?!

They still talk about
one flight he made.

He downed
German planes

and then strafed
a railroad yard.

That sure is
a great story.

He must have
been decorated.

No. He was
court-martialed.

Why?

It was years after
the w*r was over.

Poor bucky. He certainly
upset the president.

It's no good, professor.

These bolts just
aren't usable.

I've got an idea.

I've got some
rusty bolts here.

Have you got any
penetrating oil,
wrong way?

Penetrating oil?
Oh, certainly.

With
my provisions.

Good. Let's go get it.

With luck, we should
be through here
in a couple of hours.

Oh, luck--that's
something everybody can
use one time or another.

I remember once,
the heinies
come at me--

gilligan! Would you mind
coming here a moment?

Hey, skipper, can't i
go with wrong way?

Don't you want to help me,
little buddy?

Oh, yes, sir.

Thanks a lot,
gilligan.

Now, would you mind
checking that rear wheel?

I think it's loose.

Yes, sir.

I'll lift the tail.

Well?

Yeah,
it's a little loose.

How loose?

Uh--

this loose.

Gilligan, get something
to put under the tail
of the plane

so we can put
the wheel back on!

I'll get that rock
over there.

I can't move it,
skipper.

Would you like me
to help you, gilligan?

Yeah,
that's a good idea.

Oh, gilligan!

Hurry up! It's slipping!

It's beginning to sl--

put it down now, gilligan.

Oh!

It's resting
on the ground.

Gilligan, do you think
it's on the ground?

It's on my foot!

Lift!

Skipper! Skipper!

[Snoring]

Wrong way?

Wrong way?

Wrong way!
Huh?

Oh.

Is there room
for me?

No. Don't you have
a hammock of your own?

Wrong way, I meant
on the plane.

Can you take me with
you on the plane?

No. It's a one-seater.

Well...I'll
sit on your lap.

Then I won't be able
to see where I'm going.

Well, you can
sit on my lap.

Oh, my feet won't
touch the pedals.

Oh, please, wrong way,

I've just got to get
back to Hollywood.

If I don't get back
to Hollywood soon,

my career
will be ruined.

Please, wrong way.

I can promise you
glamorous evenings...

Moonlit nights...

Just you and me.

[Snoring]

Think it over,
wrong way.

Wrong way!

Forget
the moonlight nights.

You ain't going with me.

"Moonlight nights"?

I'm here to make you
a business proposition.

Look, you take me
with you on the plane,

and I'll make you
vice president of howell
aircraft corporation.

We're on the big board
and you...Eh?

I'll make you president
with stock options.

Chairman of the board
with fringe benefits.

Wrong way, I've got
to get off this island.

If I don't, the howell
empire will crumble.

It'll--one final offer,
wrong way.

I'll give you
half interest of
everything I've got,

my industries, my...

I'll even give you
my--my very own
Teddy bear.

Eh?

[Snoring]

A man makes a fair offer
and thieving...

[Muttering]

Apple pie order!

Beautiful!

Dirt.

You stand by,
gilligan.

Yes, sir.

Professor, you've
done a great job.

I'm quite satisfied.

Well, thank you,
wrong way.

Everyone's
worked very hard.

Bless you all.

Wrong way?

Huh?

Good luck.

Well, Lindy
had sandwiches!

Wrong way!

Remember,
fringe benefits.

Come back
for you know who.

Oh, when you
get to Kansas,

would you call
my uncle George and
aunt Martha, please?

Oh, and when you
get to Hollywood,

would you call
my agent and his wife?

Whoever he's married
to this week?

Please, please!

I want you all
to understand,

we ain't any more important
than any one of you.

Although I'll be up there
risking my life...

Still, it's
the team that counts.

Alright,
clear the runway!

Gilligan?
Yes, sir?

Rudder?

Check.

Left wing flap?

Check.

Check.
Right wing flap?

Stand by!

Standing by.

Contact!

[Engine backfires]

Gilligan?
Yes, sir?

Standing by.
Stand by.

Alright, everybody,
clear the runway!

Contact!

Contact!

[Engine sputters]

Yay!
Yay!

Ah, bravo!

I'm taking her
straight up!

Yay!
Yay!
Yay!

Wrong way,
are you alright?

Gilligan,
cut the motor!

Yes, sir!

First sign of trouble
and he bails out.

Look at that!

I wouldn't have
had no control
of the plane!

You're right!
Somebody's tampered
with this strut,

and it was
no accident.

What do you mean?

Somebody sabotaged
this plane.

Yeah, and they
cut the strut, too.

This is nonsense.
Who'd want
to wreck the plane?

Maybe there's someone
else on this island
we don't know about.

Maybe one of you
isn't so anxious
to have me fly for help.

Oh, wrong way,
don't be silly.

We all want
to be rescued.

And soon.
I'm practically
all out of mascara.

Nobody's more anxious
to be rescued than we are.

That's right.
We told our chauffeur
to keep the motor going.

Well, somebody
sabotaged this plane.

And cut the strut.

Couple of more minutes,
i could have been k*lled.

Well, from now on,
we're not taking
any more chances.

We men will stand
a -hour guard
around the plane.

Hear, hear.

Not you.

Gilligan,
there are no more
b*ll*ts for the g*n,

so use
this bow and arrow
for protection.

Don't worry, skipper,
I'll guard the plane.

There, you see?

Now, that's
for protection.

Yeah.

Don't let anyone
near the plane,

'cause we don't know
who wrecked it.
Not anyone at all.

Okay.

Okay?
Yeah.

I'll relieve you in
a couple of hours,
little buddy.

Yes, sir.

[Whistling]

[Rustling]

Who's there?

Me.

Who's me?

It's me.

Stay where you are, me.
How do I know it's you?

Alright,
it's not me.

It's the count
of monte cristo.

I knew it!

Oh, gilligan,
it's the skipper!

I forgot my lantern.

Say something
the skipper would say.

Put down that
bow and arrow,
you idiot,

or I'll break you
in half!

That's the skipper,
alright.

Oh!

Oh!

I wonder where
wrong way is.

He said he wanted
to test the engine.

Well, you know how he is.

With his sense of direction,
if he started for the plane,

he might have walked
straight into the ocean.

I'm getting worried.
Gilligan went after him
minutes ago.

Skipper?
Skipper?

What is it,
gilligan?
Wrong way's gone.

Gone?
What are you
talking about?

His hut's a mess.
Everything's broken up
and thrown around.

I thought maybe
he's a restless
sleeper, but--

are you sure?

He must have put up
an awful fight.

Yeah, but
against what?

Yeah,
against what?

I don't know,

but, look,
here's his scarf.

We've got to spread out
and comb the island.

Professor, you take
that direction,

gilligan, you'll go to
the back of the island,

and I'll go out to
the ocean, alright?

Oh!

Gilligan,
for goodness sakes!

Aah!
Aah!

Wrong way!

Wrong way!

Wrong way!

Boy, I sure am
glad I found you!

Where are
the kidnappers, huh?

There ain't
no kidnappers.

No kidnappers?

It was a hoax.

You were kidnapped
by a hoax?

Can't you understand,
gilligan?

I am a coward.

What?

Sure. I'm the one who
sabotaged that plane.

I loosened
the propeller,
i cut the struts.

After all these years,
i just couldn't
fly that plane.

Oh, I'm washed up.
Through.

Gilligan, I am
grounding myself.

The way you were talking,
we all thought you wanted
to fly.

It was just a front
for a man who's lost
his confidence.

It would
have been better

if I'd remained lost
to the world

since I ain't got
nothing left
to give it.

What about me?
You can teach me to fly,

and I can take that plane
out of here.

You fly the spirit
of the Bronx?

Sure.

Handle a kreider-
reichman kr- ?

With you teaching me,
i can handle a kr--

kreider-reichman.

I can handle it.

Gilligan,
i always fly
the wrong way.

That's okay.
You point me
in one direction,

and I'll go in the other.

That just might work.

At least it'd be
a chance to save
them people.

We'll get started
right away.

I'll go tell the others.

You'll do nothing
of the kind.

You'll stay right here.

Them are the conditions
that prevail.

As far as
they're concerned,

you're going
to rescue them,
gilligan,

and wrong way feldman
will remain lost
to the world,

a legend
in his own time.

Wrong way,
you're quite a guy,

and whether
you think so or not,

you deserve these wings.

[Snoring]

[Birds caws]

Who goes there?

My turn to--

oh!

Stand watch,
skipper.

Professor, ha ha ha.

Well, all's well so far.

Gilligan will be here
at : to relieve you.

Well, he's supposed to,

but then you never know
what gilligan will do.

Yeah, I know.

Thanks.

Goodnight, skip.

Goodnight.

Alright,
, , , .

We go through it again.

The banana is
the oil pressure,

the coconut
is the altitude,

the pineapple
is the speed Gauge,

the papaya's
the ignition.

You got to keep your eyes
on the instruments
at all times.

Alright.
Now get ready
for takeoff.

First thing you do,
you flip on the ignition.

No! No!
That's the altitude.

I'm supposed to turn on
the papaya instead of
the coconut.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Alright, now what's
the second thing you do?

No, no, no.
What are you doing?

My foot's asleep.

Alright, , , , .

We try it again.

You are flying
at an altitude
of , feet.

Suddenly, you encounter
headwinds of miles
an hour.

Show me what you do.

No, no.
You're looping now.

Now you're in
a power dive.

Now you're in
a tailspin.

Look out!
You're going to crash!

You're going to crash!

Crash?

Yeah!

Goodnight!
Goodnight!

What'd you do that for?

I don't think
that plane's too safe.

Good morning, professor.

I'll stand guard now.

Oh, thanks, gilligan.

I'll go wake up
the skipper.

Now that it's getting light,

we can start looking
for wrong way again.

Right.

Psst. Psst!
Hey, wrong way.

Gilligan, are you sure
you want to go through
with this?

Of course.

Alright,
have you got
everything straight?

On the takeoff,
what do you do
with the flaps?

Put them down.

No.
That's the throttle
you put down.

I thought that was
the brakes.

No. You got
to pay attention.

You got a very short
runway here.

You got to clear
them trees.

Oh, don't worry
about them trees.

Off I go
into the wild blue yonder.

Never mind
the wild blue yonder.

Just clear them trees.

Alright.

Okay, now, first,
check the instruments.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

What? What's the matter?

I can't fly this plane.

There's no fruit in here.

I know what I'll do.

I got a great idea.

I'll go get a pineapple,
a papaya, and a coconut--

gilligan!

I've got the bananas.

[Airplane motor]

You heard it, skipper.

It had to be our plane
that took off.

Wrong way wouldn't leave
without telling us.

Getting so a man
can't get any sleep
around here.

Well, if it's true,

I'm going to start packing
right after breakfast.

I can't believe it.

Gilligan
would have told us.

Gilligan!

Gilligan, little buddy,
are you alright?

What happened?

I tried to stop him.

Is that wrong way
up there?

Of course it is.
Can't you tell?

Gilligan, what happened?

Oh, it's a long story,
skipper.

But there goes
the bravest man
I've ever known...

Next to you.

Announcer:
And New York is welcoming
wrong way feldman

with its greatest
ticker-tape parade

in honor of
the most remarkable

'round-the-world flight
in history,

/ years from the day
he left the Bronx.

Wrong way has told
the authorities
a strange story

of a deserted island

with a group
of castaways

who helped him
fix his plane,

and the authorities
have made every effort

to investigate
this possibility.

Unfortunately,
wrong way's calculations
are so confused,

the mysterious island
could be located anywhere

between the bay of Naples
and the arctic ocean.

Considering wrong way's
past reputation,

this is obviously
another fantastic tale

created from wrong way's
vivid imagination.

In any event,

wrong way feldman
is one of aviation's
great heroes,

and he will
long be remembered
for the great heritage

he leaves us.

Our great hero
didn't leave us much.

Oh, yes, he did.

I got his wings.

♪ Now this is the tale
of our castaways ♪

♪ they're here
for a long, long time ♪

♪ they'll have to make
the best of things ♪

♪ it's an uphill climb ♪

♪ the first mate
and his skipper, too ♪

♪ will do their very best ♪

♪ to make the others
comfortable ♪

♪ in their tropic
island nest ♪

♪ no phones, no lights ♪

♪ no motorcars ♪

♪ not a single luxury ♪

♪ like Robinson crusoe ♪

♪ it's primitive as can be ♪

♪ so join us here
each week, my friends ♪

♪ you're sure
to get a smile ♪

♪ for stranded
castaways ♪

♪ here on
gilligan's isle ♪