02x21 - George Meets Whittendale

[bunniefuu]

♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ To the East Side ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ To a deluxe
apartment In the sky ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ To the East Side ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ We finally got A
piece of the pie ♪

♪ Fish don't fry
In the kitchen ♪

♪ Beans don't
burn On the grill ♪

♪ Took a whole lot of
tryin' Just to get up that hill ♪

♪ Now we're up
In the big leagues ♪

♪ Gettin' our turn at bat ♪

♪ As long as we live
It's you and me, baby ♪

♪ There ain't nothing
Wrong with that ♪

♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ To the East Side ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ To a deluxe
apartment In the sky ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ To the East Side ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ We finally got a
piece of the pie ♪♪

George?

Would you give me
this orange stick, please?

I don't want to
mess up my nails.

This one.

Thanks.

And while you're
up... Which I ain't.

Get me a sip of
my coffee, please?

Thanks.

Before you sit down...
Which I already did.

Would you turn the
page to 97 for me?

Is that all?

Yes, thanks.

Now, don't get too comfortable.

No chance as long
as you in the room.

It's almost time for
you're to get dressed.

All we doing is going out
with Bentley and his sister.

Well, George, he's treating
us to dinner and an evening out.

We accepted, and
he's counting on us.

How come we always
got to do him favors?

George, he's doing us a favor.

Well, whose dumb idea
was it to do it on my day off?

Yours.

And you shouldn't complain.

We've been living
like hermits lately.

All you do is work.

We never have friends over,
and we never go anywhere.

Because all that
work has paid off.

We don't have to go anywhere.

Look around. We already there.

Besides, I took
you out last week.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Sure you did.

You took me to Brooklyn to
see a new pressing machine.

Well, that's going out.

This may come as a
shock to you, George,

but standing around

watching steam go
through a pair of pants

is not my idea of
a night on the town.

Hello?

Oh, hello, Mr. Bentley.

Come in.

I'm so excited
about dinner tonight.

You'll love my sister Celia.

You know, I've always
looked up to her.

Oh, that's nice.

I had to. She's six-foot-one.

Mr. Bentley!

Actually, Celia and I

have never been
like brother and sister.

How come?

We like each other.

Oh, you're very close.

Yes, very close.

As a matter of fact,
when I was five,

it was Celia who told me

all about the
birds and the bees.

Oh, how cute.

Oh, I didn't think
so at the time.

I was horrified.

Why?

To think of all those
lovely little creatures

doing the same thing
that grown-ups did.

Of course, I got over it
about the time I turned 23.

Anyway, I'm so happy

you're going to
meet Celia tonight.

Why?

I already know about
the birds and the bees.

Well, she just can't
wait to meet you, Mr. J,

and the timing is perfect,

because tomorrow
she's off for London.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

Hello?

I'll tell him.

George, that was Ralph
calling from the lobby.

He says it's another code three.

What?

Oh!

All right!

Well, what is all that about?

Nothing, just another
Wittendale scramble.

It's been going on
like this for two weeks.

Mr. Wittendale,

our famous banker
up in the penthouse?

He's a charming gentleman.

George has been
trying to meet him

for over a year,

and it's driving him crazy...

not to mention me.

I see.

So Mr. Jefferson has
enlisted Ralph's aid

in setting up an
accidental meeting.

You catch on fast.

Well, wasn't it nice of Ralph

to volunteer to help?

At $5.00 a scramble,

I'd hardly call him a volunteer.

More like a soldier
of fortune, eh?

And the number of times

Mr. Wittendale keeps
popping in and out,

Ralph is going to be able
to buy his own building

one of these days.

Oh, from doorman to
landlord, only in America.

Till later, then.

We'll be ready.

Weezy!

George!

What are you doing down
at that end of the hall?

Waiting for Wittendale.

There was nobody
using this elevator,

so I figured he might be
using the service elevator.

That's how he's
been getting by me.

Just as I got to the
service elevator,

it stopped on this floor.

So you met
Mr. Wittendale at last.

No, I met the
new janitor, Wilbur.

He's the custodian, George.

That's funny.

When one of us
does that kind of work,

they call him a janitor.

Well, anyway, you've
missed Wittendale again.

Why don't you give up?
He's just another banker.

That's where you're
wrong, Weezy,

because one of his companies

is putting out a fat
cleaning contract

next Tuesday, and
if I get to meet him,

I know I can sell him
to Jefferson Cleaners.

Oh, wait a minute, George.
Here are the Willises.

I know.

Goodbye, Mr. Wittendale.

See you later.

What? Wait!

Why didn't you tell me
Wittendale was in there?

Why didn't you ask?

Why do I keep missing this guy?

You know, ships
that pass in the night.

And nuts that come
out of elevators.

Don't pay him any
mind. Come on in.

George? Tom and
Helen came to see us.

Weezy, we don't
have time for visitors.

It wouldn't be polite to
keep Bentley waiting.

We just dropped in

to see if you were going
to the Wittendale party,

but I see you have other plans.

What? What Wittendale party?

Well, the open
house he's holding

for his candidate
in the primary.

Mr. Wittendale was
just escorting him

up to the penthouse.

Well, I wonder why
we weren't invited.

I know why.

It's one of them fancy
"honkies only" parties.

You've called me a
lot of things, George,

but you've never called
me a h*nky before.

Are you going too?

Oh, you just a token.

I can't understand
why you weren't invited.

Every registered
voter in the building

got an invitation.

That's your fault, Weezy.
You never give me my mail.

But you're the one
who brings it up.

It's got to be there somewhere.

There ain't nothing here

but the electric
bill, the phone bill,

two giant burgers
for the price of one,

new low-cost health plan,

"You are cordially
invited to," free car wa...

Hah!

"You are cordially invited
to a political open house

between the hours of..."

We're invited! Ha!

♪ We're invited! ♪♪

I can't wait to get
up there, Weez.

George, we can't go.

Say what?

Remember Mr. Bentley?

We have a previous engagement.

I didn't want to go
in the first place.

Now, hold on.

We're not breaking anything.

Mr. Bentley went
to a lot of trouble

getting those reservations.

What will I tell him?

Tell him to cancel.

That's terrible.

It ain't terrible,
it's business.

Good old George.

Business before friendship.

Not always.

Sometimes it
comes before family.

If you didn't want

to go to dinner
with Harry Bentley,

you should have had
the guts to tell him so.

Amen.

Oh, you think it's
wrong too, huh?

I certainly do.

Well, you didn't
think nothing of it

when you did the same thing.

What's he talking about?

I mean the night she told you

she was going to a
committee meeting

and came down here

and played cards with Weezy

because she didn't want

to go to one of those
boring publishers' dinners

with you.

Tom, I never said...
Just a minute, dear.

You see, George,

Helen told me all
about that cover story.

That was for the
benefit of my guests,

who wouldn't have understood.

Right, Helen?

Right, dear.

She can sell you anything.

Well, I guess it's time

for me to get to
Wittendale's party.

What are you going
to tell Mr. Bentley?

You'll think of
something, Weezy.

George! Oh!

Oh, I'm sorry. Will
you excuse me?

I've got to dry my hair.

Mr. Bentley will
be here any minute.

Oh, don't worry about
us. We'll let ourselves out.

Yes.

Just one moment, Helen.

What did you mean by
"boring publishers' dinner"?

Oh, please, Tom. I
don't want to talk about it.

Besides, it was a long time ago.

It was last Thursday.

If you didn't want to go,

all you had to do was say so.

I did say so, but
you wouldn't listen.

You never listen to me, Tom.

Let me tell you one thing.

No, let me tell you one thing.

Go ahead.

One of your
eyelashes is coming off.

Damn.

How many other things
are you hiding from me?

Oh, don't talk to me while
I'm fixing my eyelashes!

Weezy!

Weezy?

I'm just coming to tell you

that I'm leaving now.

Well, I hope you
have a terrible time.

I'm going to give
you one more chance.

Are you going with me?

Bye.

[KNOCKING] Hello?

What are you doing in here?

What are you doing in here?

I happen to be having
a private conversation

with my wife.

Tom, why are you whispering?

I don't know. Ask him.

Shh! I'm hiding from Bentley.

Aww, that's nice, Georgie,

and when you're finished
playing hide and seek,

are you and Mr. Bentley
going out to play hopscotch?

Come on, Helen, we
can find our own john.

Ooh, Tom, my eyelash
fell down the drain.

Forget the eyelash.

Let's go someplace
where we can talk.

Don't open that door.

Bentley might
be out in the hall.

Look, George, we don't have
time to play your silly games.

Yoo-hoo!

We want to go up
to Wittendale's party.

Tom, I can't go to the
party with only one eyelash.

GEORGE: I can't go to
the party if Bentley sees me.

He wants me to go out with
him and his old dumb sister,

and I'll never get a
chance to meet Wittendale.

Just don't open the door, okay?

Get out of the way, George.
We've got to get out of here.

Whoops.

Whoops? Is that
all you got to say?

Now, now, don't worry, George.

I broke it, and I can fix it.

Wrong. You broke it
and I'm going to fix it.

Now look what you've done.

We can't get out of here.

Now, don't get excited, George.

Who's getting excited?

Weezy!

Weezy!

Hey, Weezy!

Weezy!

Can you hear me?

Let me out of here!

Tom?

Will you help me get my eyelash?

I can see it...

I'm not helping
you with anything

until you apologize to me

for lying about my
publishing dinners.

Weezy! Where is that woman?

Quit hassling me
about those dinners.

If you'd just been
honest with me

and told me how you felt,

I wouldn't be so upset.

Okay, Tom, I'll tell you

how I feel about those dinners.

I hate them. Now,
stop being upset.

No.

We've got to find a way out.

Do you have some tweezers?

How we going to get
out of here with tweezers?

It's for my eyelash, George.

I want to get it
out of the drain.

Helen, I told you to
forget that eyelash.

Forget everything.

Help me break down this door.

Wait a minute!

You can't knock this door down.

Not me, us!

We'll both hit it
at the same time.

No, no, no, no! You
don't understand.

This door opens to the inside.

You'd have to knock it
down from the other side.

Well, let's do that, then.

Aah!

Would you two be
quiet and let me think?

I want to tell you, Helen,

that you've hurt me.

You mess up my afro,
I'm going to hurt you.

Sorry, George,
it's all Helen's fault.

My fault?

Yes. Sometimes I
think you're nothing

but a stubborn dumb little...

Be careful, Tom.

That's right.

Don't use that word
in my bathroom.

Housewife. He said it.

No, he did not...
Don't you say it.

I'm not going to let you
get away with that, Tom.

Helen?

Look, y'all. Now,
y'all can fight any time.

We've got to figure out
a way to get out of here.

Stop interrupting, George.

Why don't you take the
pins out of those hinges?

Yeah, that'll work.

Helen, it's not as if

I ever pressured you
to go to those dinners.

Oh, no, you never
did anything like that.

You just said that
your whole career

depended on it.

That's not pressure.

Hey, Willis, why
don't you help me

put a little pressure
on this hinge?

Look, Tom came up with the idea.

You take care of the details.

Isn't there something
in this cabinet

we can use?

Cotton balls, razor blades...

hey! Fingernail file.

Oh, and a pair of tweezers.

Now, listen, Helen...

Aah! That ain't going to work.

What a stupid idea.

Well, think of something better.

Maybe I could work
the lock by hand.

Ah, got it.

Oh, this is too much.

What's the matter now?

I have to go to the bathroom.

You're kidding.

Faster, man, faster!

No luck.

Do you have to run that water?

And there's nothing
funny about this, Helen.

And you'd better get
us out of here, George.

This is really putting a
strain on our friendship.

What friendship?

Ours.

Since when did
we become friends?

That's right, Tom.

George is too busy
taking care of business

to have any friends.

Are you kidding? I
got lots of friends.

All right, George,
go ahead. Name one.

Just one.

That's easy. Uh...

Cousin Clarence and... his wife.

You can't include relatives.

I got it!

Monk Davis. We grew up together.

We been tight for 35 years.

Ain't no secrets between us.

That's right.

And wasn't he the one
who tried to blackmail you?

Oh yeah.

That chump better
never show his face

around here again.

Well, George?

Just give me a minute.

There's always Weezy.

You can't count her.

She's your wife, and
wives aren't friends.

Uh-oh.

You know what I mean, Helen.

The point is, George,

if you want to have friends,
you've got to make friends.

I've been trying to get up there

to make friends with Wittendale!

Instead of standing
here yakking,

think of a way to
get us out of here!

So you finally got
around to asking me?

It's easy.

We'll write a note for help.

Hey! That's a great idea.

Why didn't I think of that?

Here's my pen.

We ain't got no paper.

We've got lots of it.

Here.

Damn it, why doesn't
Weezy buy the paper

that's easy to write on?

"Send help, trapped in john.

Sincerely, George Jefferson."

Wait a minute.

There are no windows in here.

How are we going to get this

to the outside world?

Do I have to think
of everything?

Now it's on its way out to sea.

Some ship will pick it
up, and we'll be rescued.

Mr. Jefferson, sir?
Mrs. Jefferson?

GEORGE: Ralph! Is that you?

Yes sir, yes sir, Mr. Jefferson.

This magazine came
for you postage due.

I paid for it myself.

Thought you'd like
to see it right away.

I'm glad you're here, Ralph.

Where are you, sir?

[KNOCKING] In here!

Then I brought
this up just in time.

I'll slip it under the door.

No, you don't understand.

We're trapped in here.

Trapped, sir?

HELEN: You heard him, Ralph!

Oh, you in there
too, Mrs. Jefferson?

No, this is Helen Willis.

Oh.

Well, it's none of my business.

Don't worry, Mr. Jefferson,

Mr. Willis will never
hear about this.

Not from my lips.

TOM: Mr. Willis
already knows about it!

Then Mrs. Jefferson
will never hear about this.

TOM: Get us out
of this bathroom!

I have to go to the bathroom.

Stop gabbing, Ralph,
get us out of here.

Yes, sir, yes, sir.

Uh-oh.

I don't know whether
I can handle this, sir.

It looks like it's a job
for building maintenance.

I'll have to try to find them.

GEORGE: How long will that take?

Well, you never know
with building maintenance.

It could take hours.

On second thought,

perhaps I could
tackle it myself.

It's only a dollar.

GEORGE: The big
bills are in here with me.

Yes, sir! Yes, sir!

I'll get right on it!

I'll certainly try, sir.

Try, Ralph, try!

Yes, for God's sake, try!

Just bear with me.
Just bear... [GRUNTING]

Ouch! Ooh!

Now, stand back.
Let me try it this way.

[GRUNTING]

There!

Tom? Helen? What
are you doing here?

I'll tell you at the
Wittendale party,

if I make it.

Helen?

Ask George.

George? What's...
Hold on, Weezy.

I have our hero
to take care of first.

For you, Ralph.

Thank you, sir, and
here's your magazine.

You can just forget
about that postage due.

That's on me.

Well, I got to get
up to Wittendale's.

Not until you tell me

what you three
were doing in there.

Tom Willis had to
go to the bathroom.

What?

Now, I got to be going.

There ain't nothing standing
between me and Wittendale.

Now, hold on!

Oh, Bentley! Where you been?

I been looking all over for you.

You have? Sure, come on it.

I got something...

Weezy's got
something to tell you.

Before you leave, Mr. Jefferson,

allow me to say something.

Yeah, but make it quick.

About our engagement
this evening...

I'd like to cancel it.

Look, Bentley,

this has nothing to
do with you personally.

It's just business...

George, you're not listening.

Mr. Bentley is calling it off.

Say what?

Mr. Bentley, you
were very excited

for us to meet your sister.

Why did you change your mind?

Don't pry, Weezy.

I just want to find
out... Don't be nosy.

George, be quiet.

Now, Mr. Bentley,

why did you change your mind?

For no reason at all.

I just can't believe that.

Now you calling the man a liar.

Well, I'll have to confess.

I overheard Mr. Jefferson

and the Willises
in the bathroom.

You mean you were
here all the time?

Oh no. No.

My goodness,

the minute I realized
I was eavesdropping,

I left, but not
until I overheard

how very badly you wanted

to go to the Wittendale party,

so I phoned the restaurant

and canceled our reservation.

But I... No buts, Weezy.

Why can't Bentley
do what he wants to do

for a change?

We should all do what we want.

And I wouldn't worry
about our evening together,

Mr. Jefferson,

because Celia can meet
you some other time.

After all, her job
brings her to America

every five or six years.

Oh, yeah. Then you ain't mad.

How could I be angry

at two people who
mean so much to me?

What a beautiful thing to say.

Yes, it was, wasn't it?

You know, there
aren't many neighbors

that would take a
stranger, a foreigner,

and welcome him into
their home as you two have.

Yeah, we pretty good about that.

You're special people
and good friends.

Oh, Mr. Bentley.

Very good friends.

I got to go put on a new jacket.

What for?

This one ain't good enough

to go out with
Bentley and his sister.

George...

You are not going up
to see Mr. Wittendale?

Who?

Didn't you hear, Weezy?
Bentley's sister is in town.

Ain't you old enough

to know what's
important and what ain't?

I mean, I can see
Wittendale anytime.

Oh, George,

I always knew you
wouldn't desert Mr. Bentley.

That's right.

How many people in this world

would do what he did for me?

Well, I say, Mr. J...

Tell you what we going to do.

We're going to take your sister
out to dinner and the theater,

and it's on me.

Oh, no, I couldn't.

Sure you could.

Yes, I could.

Weezy, you call the restaurant,
and you come with me.

Where are you going?

Up to the Willises'.

I want to show them
something I found...

a friend.

After you, friend.

Wasn't it a lovely
evening, George?

Mr. Bentley's
sister is so lovely.

And a pain in the neck.

George... I mean, I had to

keep looking up
at her all night.

Why?

Well, look at the facts, Weezy.

She was wearing that
low-cut gown, right?

So?

So I'm dancing with her.

She's over six feet tall.

So you know where my eyes were.

The only thing I could do

was give myself
a pain in the neck.

Oh, George, you're
such a gentleman.

I'll tell you
something else I am.

An awful liar.

Oh, George!

ANNOUNCER: The
Jeffersons was recorded on tape

in front of a studio audience.