03x06 - The Retirement Party

[bunniefuu]

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♪ Movin' on up ♪
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♪ To the East Side ♪
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A piece of the pie ♪

♪ Fish don't fry
In the kitchen ♪

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burn On the grill ♪

♪ Took a whole lot of tryin' ♪

♪ Just to get up that hill ♪

♪ Now we're up
In the big leagues ♪

♪ Gettin' our turn at bat ♪

♪ As long as we live
It's you and me, baby ♪

♪ There ain't nothin'
Wrong with that ♪

♪ Well, we're movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ To the East Side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ To a deluxe
apartment In the sky ♪

♪ Movin' on up ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ To the East Side ♪
♪ Movin' on up ♪

♪ We've finally got
A piece of the pie ♪♪

Florence, are you busy?

Sure. I'm busy resting.

Do you mind helping me
with my French lesson?

It beats working.

You read me the English

and I'll say it in French.

All right.

"How are you?"

Comment allez-vous?

That's wrong.

It's "Comment Alice vows."

No, I was right.

The French write
words differently

than the way they say them.

I did the same thing in school.

Only they called
it bad spelling.

Read me the next one.

How come you're so interested
in learning French all of a sudden?

Well, with you
working here full-time,

there's not enough for me to do.

So rather than go crazy,

I've decided to
take up something.

Well, why don't you
take up cleaning?

Then you could help me.

Read the next question.

Oui, oui, mademoiselle.

I'm not a mademoiselle.

I'm a madame.

Well, I sure hope
Mr. Jefferson don't find that out.

I'd hate to spoil that
good mood he's been in.

What's gotten into him?

Well, I think he's got
some big deal cooking.

But he won't tell me what it is.

He wants to surprise me.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Oh, I'll get that, Florence.

Oh. Thank you.

While you do the
bedroom closets.

I knew there was a catch to it.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

You sure you don't want
me to help you do the door?

The closets, Florence.

Yes, ma'am.

Hi, Ben.

Hello, Louise.

Well, George forgot
the cleaning again,

so I thought I'd
bring 'em up to you.

Ben, you shouldn't
have to deliver...

Hey! I'm the
manager of the store.

I can send whoever I want to.

So I sent me.

Because you know

I wouldn't let you leave
without a cup of coffee.

You saw right through me.

Well, come in.

Florence!

You sure it's no trouble?

For you, never.

Hi, Ben.

Hi, Florence. How you doing?

I'm doing too much, as usual.

Would you bring us
some coffee, please?

Good idea.

It's about time I
had a coffee break.

And don't forget the cream
and sugar, s'il vous plait.

We got the cream and sugar,

but I think we all
out of s'il vous plait.

Say, when did you
start talking French?

Well, I've been
taking French lessons

for when George
and I go to Paris.

Oh, that's funny.

George never told me
anything about going there.

That's because I
haven't told him yet.

That's a lot of flying
and sightseeing

to cram into one day.

One day?

Well, you'll never get George
to take off more than a Sunday.

He loves working better
than anybody I ever knew.

And I wonder who
he learned that from.

Did you know that Ben
gave George his first job?

Anybody can make a mistake.

How long you
known Mr. Jefferson?

Well, let's see.
I'm over 60 now.

Must be more than 30
years I've known George.

Well, he was no more than 16.

I was working in this
cleaning store in Harlem, see,

and one day George
come running in there

with these two big bad
dudes chasing after him.

What a sight.

Two big sledgehammers
after one little toothpick.

Now, I wish I could
have seen that.

I don't mind telling
you I was scared.

Then what happened?

Well, the first thing George did

was to run behind the counter
and grab hold of my hand.

Then he yelled,

"Come one more step, and
my dad will cave your head in."

Then he looked at me.
My soul nearly left my body.

Well, I couldn't help
liking that little kid.

It was something about
the way he stood there

that gave me some spine.

And before I knew it,
it was us against them.

And what a battle.

Mr. Jefferson sure was
lucky to have you on his side.

No, he wasn't, because they
b*at the hell out of both of us.

By the time I got
myself up, I said, "Son,

the next time you get in
trouble, don't come in here."

And George said, "Don't worry.

"The next time I get
myself into trouble,

I'm going to find
somebody who can fight."

And you still hired
him after all that?

Well, I felt sorry for him.

His father was dead.

He'd quit school so
he could find work.

So I talked the owner
into letting me hire him.

You know, Ben,
if it wasn't for you,

George wouldn't
be where he is today.

Oh, sure he would.

[LAUGHS]

Weezy, I got me some big news.

I mean big news.

I mean big, big, big, big!

[LAUGHS]

Ben, I'm glad you're here.
You can help us celebrate.

What about me?

You can help too. Get
some glasses for us.

What's the big
news? I'm selling out.

LOUISE: You're what?!

I'm selling out all my stores.

You ever hear of
Allco Enterprises?

No.

Well, Allco Enterprises
owns everything

from bowling
alleys to restaurants.

They're what you
call a conglomerate.

That's because they glom

onto anything they
can get their hands on.

And?

And they're buying
out all my stores.

Paying me cash for the stores

plus paying me a big salary
to stay on and manage them.

What do you think
of that? Well...

Florence, I thought I told
you to get some glasses!

Wait, Florence.

George, you're
your own boss now.

You may not like
working for someone else.

Maybe you're moving too quickly.

And I'll tell you something
else that I'm getting:

a regular paid vacation.

Four weeks a year.

Well, what are you waiting for?

Grab it!

You heard Mr. Jefferson.
Get some glasses, and fast.

Yes, ma'am.

Oh, George, I'm so happy.

Will you take me to
France on our first vacation?

You got it.

When can we leave?

Uh, next Friday.

Next Friday? That's wonderful!

You make all the arrangements,
get a new set of luggage.

We'll fly out of
here Friday night

and we won't have
to come back till...

Monday morning.

Monday morning?

Oh, yeah, that's right, Weezy.
I need a good night's sleep.

Make that Sunday night.

But what happened to
the four weeks vacation?

Allco Enterprises is
making me a vice-president.

As a big executive,

I got to work harder
than anybody else.

Then what's the big
deal about this big deal?

Weren't you listening? They're
gonna give me a lot of money.

But we've got enough now.

They're also taking all
the worries off my hands.

How?

If a machine breaks down,

they gotta take care of it.

See, they're taking care
of all of my headaches.

Here you are.

Well, most of my headaches.

I got to hand it to you, George.

You sure got a good
head for business.

Yeah, I couldn't have
done it without you, Ben.

And I surely couldn't have
done it without you, Weezy.

[LAUGHS]

Behind every successful man
there stands a good woman.

Oh, that's the nicest thing
you ever said about me.

George, here's to your success.

You earned all the good things
that's gonna happen to you.

I'm not the only one good things
are going to happen to, Ben.

You and all of my workers
are going to get lots of benefits,

including medical
insurance, cost-of-living raises

and paid vacations.

You got to be
jiving. No, I ain't.

It says so right here in
the company rules book.

Look for yourself.

No, no, I'll take
your word for it.

Let me see that.

For what?

Now that you're a big executive,
I'd like a few benefits too,

and there must be something
in here I ain't never thought of.

Well, I better grab some
lunch and get back to work.

Wait a minute, Ben.

You're gonna have
lunch right here

in the executive kitchen.

Florence, get us some lunch.

Mm-hm. What'll it be?

Well, something
befitting the vice president

of Allco Enterprises
Dry-Cleaning Division

and his new
administrative assistant.

[LAUGHS]

Two baloney
sandwiches coming up.

Have some more champagne, Ben.

Well, I don't know.

Go on, go on.

It comes under
executive expenses.

I'll write it off in my taxes.

Yeah, and you're gonna
have plenty of those.

So what? I'll just get
me a good tax shelter.

What's a tax shelter?

It's like welfare,
only it's for the rich.

Ben, I'm putting you in
charge of a lot of things

from here on in.

Mr. Jefferson, can
I see you a minute?

Soon as you finish
making our lunch, you can.

I think you want to
hear this, Mr. Jefferson.

Didn't you say you was over 60?

Yeah, I'm 63. Why?

Because I just
found another benefit

you gonna get
from Mr. Jefferson.

Oh, yeah? What's that?
He's going to fire you.

What?

Florence, what are
you talking about?

It says here

when an employee
reaches 60, he gets the a*.

You're going to have to fire me?

No.

I read this book.

I don't remember seeing that.

It's right there.

Oh. See, that's
how dumb you are.

It don't say nothing about
being axed. It says "terminated."

They ain't gonna a* me.

They're gonna k*ll me.

George... Hold on,
hold on, hold on.

Everybody...
Everybody just relax.

Now, ain't nobody going to
be axed, fired or terminated.

But it says in the book...

Look, George Jefferson
don't go by no book.

All I got to do

is pick up the phone for
the executive vice president

and tell him, "Look,

you can't fire my main man."

Me and the VIP
are just like that.

Thanks, George.

Ain't that boy something?

He's going to straighten
out them big wheels.

It's the least he can do.

Hello. Mr. Sparks, please.
George Jefferson speaking.

Hello, Mr. Sparks?

What?

Oh, oh, okay! Jim.

[LAUGHS]

Jim, this is George.
How are you doing?

Well, look, Jim, we've got
ourselves a problem down here.

Oh, no, it's got nothing
to do with the deal.

Well, see, one of
my employees...

well, he's over 60.

Yeah, I know what
the rulebook says.

But, see, Ben is
my right-hand man

and I know Allco don't want
me to chop off my right hand.

[LAUGHS]

George is laying it on him.

Sure, I know that.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

[SOFTLY] Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Bye.

I didn't like the sound
of all them "uh-huhs."

A lot of "uh-huhs"
usually mean "Uh-oh."

Well, what did he say?
Is Ben going to get fired?

No, he ain't.

Oh, that's wonderful!

Thanks, George.

He's gonna be retired!

Uh-huh!

What's the difference
between fired and retired?

Two months pay
and a farewell lunch.

Look, Ben, old buddy.

As Jim was saying on the phone,

the company's got this
mandatory retirement policy.

Why?

So we can make room
for the bright young guys

to get to the top.

But you ain't got no bright
young guys to make room for.

I know, but it ain't just that.

If we keep the older workers on,

then their health
insurance goes up,

which cuts into profits.

Well... George,
I'm in good shape.

George, this is plain stupid.

Can't Allco Enterprises make
an exception in Ben's case?

Weezy, will you get off my back?

But it's not fair!

Well, it ain't my fault!

Wait, wait, wait.

I don't want you
two fighting over me.

You see that, Weezy?
You're getting Ben all upset!

Come on over here, Ben.

Whew!

Look, Ben, retirement
ain't the end of the world.

It's not?

No, you'll get a chance
to do some of the things

you always wanted to do,

like sleep late in the morning,

relax, play
checkers in the park.

With the muggers and the winos.

Feed the pigeons.

If your heart can
stand the excitement.

Well, you know, you
get a chance to travel!

Go to Europe or Japan.

You don't travel to
Japan on Social Security.

Okay, so there's Chinatown.

Same thing, only cheaper.

Look, all right.
All right, George.

I know you're trying
to make me feel good,

but really, I enjoy working.

And since Alberta
passed on, I'm alone now

and there ain't much for
me to be going home for.

Every morning when I wake
up, I thank God for two things:

one, for letting me wake up,

and two, for having
the store to go to.

That's my family now.

Oh, Ben.

Oh, that's all right, Louise.

I'll see you all later.

George!

You gonna let him
go just like that?

Of course not!

Oh, you're not?

This is me, Ben. George.

You think I'm gonna
let you leave like that

after all these years?

No way.

Oh, thank goodness.

You're gonna leave in style.

I'm gonna throw you the
biggest retirement party

anyone ever had.

Ha, ha, ha! A party?

We'll rent a ballroom
at a fancy hotel,

hire a band, get a big cake,

and you'll be the
guest of honor.

Yeah, George.

That's real nice.

Aren't you forgetting
the gold watch?

Okay, so we get
you one of those too.

No, George.

I won't need no gold watch.

Because when I stop working,

there'll be no place
I'll have to be on time.

Bye.

Oh, wait, Ben.

Aren't you going
to stay for lunch?

No, Louise.

It seems like I've
lost my appetite.

I guess you don't eat
as much when you're old.

Oh, that's nice, George.

Give a party for good old
Ben, and then we'll kick him out.

Weezy...

I think folks who
are able to work

ought to be allowed to work.

I think so too.
Get back to work!

How could you do this to Ben?

Pushing him out into the
cold just because he's over 60.

It ain't my fault.

I didn't invent retirement.
The government did.

Oh, yeah? Then why is Gerald
Ford running for president?

He's 63.

Maybe he lied about his age.

Look, Weezy, if it was
up to me, I'd keep Ben on.

It's Allco Enterprises
that's letting him go.

It's not just Ben.

You have someone
over 60 in every store,

and they're some
of your best workers.

What are you getting
so upset about?

Maybe they want to
retire. Old folks do all right.

They get Social
Security and food stamps.

Uh-huh! $200 a month and
all the dog food they can eat.

That's a lie! You can't buy
dog food with food stamps.

Forced retirement is terrible,

and somebody ought
to do something about it.

And I think you should
call off that merger.

Are you crazy? We're gonna
be walking on easy street.

Is that all you can think of?

Have you forgotten all
that Ben has done for you?

No!

Then what are you
gonna do about it?

I'm... I'm getting outta
here! That's what I'm doing.

You're just running off because
you don't have a good answer.

I do have a good answer!

Okay, let's hear it.

You're wrong!

Do you come here often?

You know, you and I
have a lot in common.

We're both jolly well potted.

Sorry.

Scotch on the rocks, please.

Why, Mr. Jefferson. Forgive me.

You've been sitting
here all this time,

and I didn't even notice you.

I'm terribly sorry.

Yeah, I'm terribly sorry
you noticed me too, Bentley.

That is all right.

You know, an hour ago I
was in a state of euphoria.

Yeah, you should go back there.

Any place is better
than New York.

But now I'm in the
glepths of doom.

Uh, doopths of... glem?

The depths of gloom!

Do you mind, Bentley? I'm
in enough gloom of my own.

Oh, good. You know the old
saying: misery loves company.

Thank you.

I got another one. One's
company, two's a crowd.

I've got a wonderful idea.

Hey!

Why don't you tell
me your sad story

and I will tell you mine.

You go first.

Um... Aren't you drinking?

I thought I was.

Uh, this time, don't forget
to bring one for my friend.

Go on.

Well, there's this
big corporation

that wants to buy
out all my stores,

which gives me a chance
to become a big executive

and make a lot of money.

That is a sad story.

Let me tell you mine.

I met Muriel one afternoon...

Look, I didn't finished yet.

Louise is mad at me

because this company
is gonna do some things

that she doesn't like.

Such as?

Well, you know Ben, the
manager of my store next door?

Yeah. Salt of the earth.

Well, Ben's over 60, and...

That's a peculiar saying,
isn't it, salt of the earth.

We don't say
pepper of the earth.

What?

Or mustard of the earth.

The point is,

this guy has worked
hard all of his life.

So don't you think a man his age

is entitled to sit back and
take it easy for a change?

I understand exactly what
you're saying, Mr. Jefferson.

You do? Certainly.

You're throwing Ben
on the scrap heap.

No, I ain't. They're
making me retire him.

See? It ain't my fault.
Why should I feel guilty?

And why should I feel
guilty about Muriel?

Oh, Muriel.

She's the salt, pepper
and mustard of the earth

all rolled into one.

A seasoned veteran in
the spicy game of love.

Ha! Do you get it? Salt
and pepper, seasoned...

Bentley!

Mandatory retirement,
yes? That's too bad.

I see they'll be retiring
you too in 12 years time.

Say what?

Oh, yes.

The retirement
program isn't limited

to employees like Ben.

It includes management
too. It's right here.

Management?

You mean when I'm 60,
they're gonna give me the a*?

Didn't you know that?

No, I didn't know that!

Ain't nobody throwing
me out when I'm 60.

What do they expect me to do?

Well, it might be rather nice.
You'll be able to sleep late.

Feed the pigeons? Play
checkers in the park?

What a pleasant thought.

You gotta be kidding.

Sometimes I feel like
getting away from it all myself.

Just Muriel and me.

Far from the madding crowd.

If only Muriel could
understand that.

If only Muriel's husband
could understand that.

Weezy, darling!

If you want lunch,
you're too late.

There's more important
things in life than lunch.

Well, hallelujah!

And Ben is one of them.
I'm calling off the merger.

What?

I'm calling off the deal.
You were right. I was wrong.

George, do you mean it?

I mean it.

What changed your mind?

I changed my own mind.

Nobody's got to tell me

the difference between
right and wrong.

And taking a man
like Ben, any man,

and retiring him in
the prime of his life

is definitely wrong.

Oh, George, I'm so proud of you.

So I just said to myself,

how would I feel if I
was in his position?

Right.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

So I'm just gonna
call Jim Sparks

and tell him the deal's off.

Ah, Mr. Jefferson,
you forgot your book.

Thank you, Bentley.

It's a lucky thing you did too,

because after you left, I
perused it more carefully.

You did what to it?

And you know
something? I was wrong.

About what?

The mandatory retirement
rule does not apply to you,

only to your employees.

What? You mean they
can't kick me out after I'm 60?

That's right.
According... That's terrific!

Did you hear that, Weezy?

I heard it. So now...

So that's how you were able
to put yourself in Ben's place.

But don't you understand,
Weezy? Everything's okay now.

Is it, George?

Now, Weezy, look...

Yeah, you're right.

Nothing's changed for Ben.

Okay, I'll call off the deal.

Oh, I'm glad, George.
You're doing the right thing.

If you had to retire Ben

you could never
live with yourself.

No, that's where you're
wrong. I couldn't live with you.

Oh, George!

ANNOUNCER: The
Jeffersons was recorded on tape

in front of a studio audience.

♪ Movin', movin' on up ♪♪