(announcer on T. V.)
There it is, my friends...
the old deserted house.
They say at night, strange
sounds come from this house.
Come, let's go closer.
Are you afraid?
[announcer laughing]
You don't believe
in ghosts, do you?
Well, there's no turning back.
You've entered the house of...
Zombo.
[laughing]
Good evening, Commodore.
And good evening, my
friends. So nice of you to drop in.
I don't get much
company, you know...
[chuckling]
except for a few old friends
who like to hang around.
[chuckling]
Today is our big day.
Yoo-hoo.
I'm home.
(Zombo) Today is the day
we announce the winner of...
"I Like Zombo
Because..." contest.
Hi, Son. How about a
nice big hug for your father?
Will it be you? Or maybe you?
Well, we'll all find out
in just a few minutes.
Eddie.
[hooting]
But right now, it's
time for Chapter 26...
of Mark of the Werewolf.
Will the werewolf strike again?
[chuckling] I hope so.
He hasn't had a decent meal...
since Chapter 15.
How about a handshake?
(Zombo) As we open tonight's
story, our friend the werewolf...
is once again out in the cold.
The wind is blowing and howling.
How about a look?
[Zombo hooting]
[Zombo laughing]
Hi, Pop.
Darn! Darn! Darn!
[crockery rattling]
You know that Zombo program has
become the talk of the neighborhood kids?
I'm glad Eddie
likes that program.
It's good, wholesome
entertainment.
And every boy needs
a legendary hero.
That's fine, but why does he need
a stranger for a legendary hero...
when he's got me?
Don't worry, Herman. He'll
tire of that program before long.
Sure he will.
And he'll return to the
bosom of his family...
and we'll have real
togetherness again...
[Herman chuckling]
just like that family on the
"Share the Deodorant" commercial.
(Zombo) Today, we
have a brand-new sponsor.
A revolutionary new
snack treat called...
Crumble Creature Crackers.
All you do, my dears...
is take it out of
the box like this...
and you destroy it in the bowl.
Then you add milk
and drown it like this.
[laughing]
Make snacktime funtime...
with Crumble Creature Crackers.
And now, my
friends, come with me.
Here's the moment that
you have all been waiting for.
It's time to announce
the winner of the...
"I Like Zombo
Because..." contest.
Oh, boy!
For all of you who wrote,
"I like Zombo" letters...
I would just like to say...
you have good taste.
And now, I would like to
say it was a difficult choice...
but the winner is...
Eddie Munster, 1313
Mockingbird Lane.
[Zombo laughing] Who? Me?
Yes, you, Eddie Munster.
We'll be sending you lots
of swell prizes right away...
beautiful prizes,
but remember...
as the winner, you are
going to be my special guest...
next Friday, right
here... [laughing]
on the show.
Oh, boy, I won! Hey,
everybody, I won!
Hey, you guys, I won!
Wait a minute.
What did you win? The
"I Like Zombo" contest.
I get a whole mess of surprises,
and I get to be on his T.V. show.
Oh, that's wonderful!
Hey, how about that?
Yeah. How about that?
Zombo is the neatest guy.
When I grow up, I want
to be just like Zombo.
But, Son, I thought you
want to be just like me.
That's what you always
used to say, remember?
Sure, Pop, but that was just
when I was just a dumb kid.
You know what I mean.
Sure.
[banging on door]
I think there's someone's at
the door. I bet that's for me.
The guys probably heard
Zombo say my name on T.V.
Wait, Eddie. Son?
Where have I failed?
Now, Herman, you
know how kids are.
Sure. I know how kids are.
Rotten.
Hey, Eddie, I heard Zombo
say you won the contest.
Boy, are you lucky!
Yeah, I wish got to
meet him in person.
He's the neatest-looking
guy on T.V. I'll say...
He sure is. Boy, the way
he talks is really boss.
Mmm-Hmm.
Hey, you guys, I got an idea.
Why don't we form a Zombo club?
And we can all
watch Zombo together.
(all) Hey, yes.
Zombo is the greatest.
Zombo is a fink.
Well, what does it say?
Fifty-five.
Absolutely normal.
Herman, you are not sick.
But Grandpa, I hurt all
over, especially right here.
Where did they put it?
Here it is.
Grandpa, I tell you,
I'm in bad shape.
Herman, you're just
trying to get attention...
[laughing] because
you're jealous of Zombo.
So Eddie's little friends formed a club,
and Eddie's excited about meeting Zombo.
It'll all blow over.
You really think so? I know so.
Herman, you are his
father. You've given him
everything he has.
I mean, let's face it.
What can Zombo give him
that his own father can't?
A portable television
set, a bicycle...
a complete scuba outfit, and a
model airplane that really flies.
You know, I had no idea
Eddie had won so much.
Yes. I haven't seen
this much loot since...
we had the winning ticket on
the Transylvanian Sweepstakes.
Has Uncle Herman
seen all this yet?
Not yet. The poor
dear isn't feeling well.
I've just made him another hot
caldron of cream-of-buzzard soup.
Well, I guess you're
right, Grandpa.
I am being childish
about this whole thing.
After all...
a man 150 years old should
not act like a spoiled brat.
Take my advice, Herman.
Forget about Zombo.
Don't even think about him.
That's just what
I'm going to do.
I'm going to put him
right out of my mind.
After all, I'm still Eddie's
hero. Sure you are.
I'm a hero to the whole
family. Of course, Herman.
Now, stick out that granite jaw.
Puff out that barrel chest.
That's it, Herman.
You're our hero.
You are our own Mickey Mantle.
Go.
And look what else that
lovely man sent Eddie.
Isn't he impressive?
You should read the inscription.
"To Eddie. You k*ll me. Zombo."
Isn't that sweet?
You know, I had no idea that
Zombo was such a handsome man.
Hasn't he got the cutest smirk?
But that twisted nose, it
gives him kind of a rugged look.
Oh, that Zombo, he's just a
great, big, lovable, voodoo doll.
You know, I just might
join Eddie's fan club myself.
Me, too.
[both chuckling]
Grandpa, Mickey
Mantle just struck out.
You want me to
drink this? What is it?
It's a secret potion.
It won't last long...
but for a short time,
you'll be so good-looking...
you'll out-Zombo Zombo.
And then, Eddie and his friends will
really have to sit up and take notice.
Cheers. Cheers.
Well? It's not bad.
Not bad at all.
I'll tell you one thing, it
certainly beats that Brand X.
Herman, that's not what I mean.
Do you feel it taking effect?
Do I feel it taking effect? No.
No, I don't feel a thing.
I don't think you
put in the proper...
[grunting]
[glass shattering]
I don't think I made
it strong enough.
[Herman groaning]
[panting]
Grandpa.
Grandpa, I'm sorry, I think I
broke one of your test tubes.
Herman? Herman, it worked!
What worked? What
worked? Just a minute.
Take a look at yourself.
Herman, you are gorgeous!
Grandpa, you've done it!
[laughing]
I'm adorable!
You living doll, you!
[kissing]
Herman, if Tony Curtis looked
like you, there'd be no stopping him.
I'm going to go right upstairs, and
show Eddie and all his little friends...
how handsome I am.
I'm really going to make
a bum out of that Zombo.
Here's your cloak. Thank you.
[roaring]
I got this television
and this bike...
[ringing]
and those great walkie-talkies.
Yeah, and this neat plane, too.
[door creaking]
Boo.
Hi, Pop.
You recognized me?
Clever boy.
[laughing]
Is that really your
pop? Yeah, I guess so.
What's he up to with
the corny makeup?
I don't know, I thought those
office parties were over till next year.
Well, g*ng, how do I look?
Gee, Mr. Munster,
sir, you look real...
Doesn't he, Frank?
Oh, he sure does.
And what do you
think, little Billy?
I'd rather not say, sir.
My father told me never
to insult older people.
Oh, I see.
And...
what do you think, Edward?
Gee, Pop.
Did you have to go and embarrass
me in front of all of my friends like this?
But Eddie...
I thought if you liked Zombo
so much, you'd really dig this.
But Pop, Zombo's a real guy.
You're just faking.
Come on, guys.
Well, Herman, how did it
go? I'll bet you were a smash.
Smash.
I'll smash you, you mad,
dumb, old scientist, you!
Where's Lily and Eddie?
Why, Grandpa...
today is the day that Eddie's to
appear on Zombo's television show.
Aunt Lily took him
down to the studio.
So that's why Herman
is up in his room sulking.
Don't you think he'll come down
to watch his own son on television?
Well, I don't know.
The last time I looked in, he
was banging his head on the floor.
I know Uncle Herman
is a little bit jealous, but...
He wouldn't go that far.
[banging]
There goes old sorehead again.
You must be Eddie Munster.
Yes, sir. And this is my mother.
How do you do, Mrs. Munster?
My name is Dave Swenson,
I'm the director of the show.
Glad to meet you.
I must say, Mrs. Munster, you and
the boy certainly are awfully good sports.
Thank you. Why?
I mean, getting all decked
out in these crazy outfits...
just to come down
and see the show.
Yes, well.
All right, Eddie, here
he is. This is Zombo.
Hi there, Eddie.
You're just kidding, aren't
you, mister? This isn't Zombo.
No, he isn't kidding.
I'm Zombo, all right.
You just don't recognize me
without my makeup and my costume.
Mrs. Munster, why don't you and
Eddie sit over there and watch?
Hurry him up, will you,
Cal? We're on in 30 minutes.
Hey, Mom, you know what I
think? I think that he's a fake.
They've probably got the
real Zombo tied up someplace.
No, Eddie, it's just
that sometimes...
people look a little different in
person than they do on television.
Boy, I'll say...
he's the weirdest
looking guy I ever saw.
There we are, Eddie.
A little makeup, my wig...
my claws and my hat...
and my cape...
and of course, my teeth.
I mustn't forget those.
And here I am,
your old friend...
[laughing]
Zombo.
Yeah.
Come on, Uncle Herman, the
show goes on in a few minutes.
I won't do it!
I won't watch that
dumb old Zombo.
Come on, Herman.
When that show goes on...
you're going to be sitting
in front of the television set.
Okay, but I'll have
my eyes closed.
Uncle Herman, you'll
do no such thing.
Well, I'll keep one closed.
[grunting]
I won't do it!
And you can't make me.
Come on, Herman,
this is ridiculous.
Now, Eddie, when
Zombo calls your name...
you walk in front of
the camera with Zombo.
You got that?
Hey, what's wrong with
Zombo's house? It's crummy.
And what are those guys doing?
(director) They make the
mist and the cobwebs...
you see on your screen.
Isn't anything around here real?
Real? This is television.
(Herman) There he is.
The stranger that invaded my
happy home on that boob tube.
Oh, look, there's Eddie.
Marilyn, quick. Turn up the sound
(Zombo) ...and today
he's my special guest star.
Well, Eddie, how
does it feel to sit here...
with Zombo in his
house of horrors?
[chuckling]
What's the matter? The
bat's got your tongue?
Tell me, Eddie...
is there anything you want to
say to all your friends and fiends...
in television land?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'd like to tell everybody that
Zombo is nothing but a big fake.
[exclaiming]
Grandpa, he's a
phony. Attaboy, Eddie.
Give it to him,
Son, give it to him.
Give him one for Grandpa.
Bite him in the neck!
Cut, cut!
(Zombo) Stop.
That rotten kid!
I'll never forgive!
(announcer on T. V.) Due to technical
difficulties beyond our control...
the Zombo show will not
be seen this afternoon.
Or ever.
[screaming]
[groaning]
Mom!
My child.
You... you...
Don't you lay a
hand on my poor boy!
Your poor boy just ruined Zombo.
[sighing]
I'm glad it happened,
do you hear me?
I'm glad. I've
tried to get out of...
I've tried to get out of this
contract for a month now.
I am made for
much better things.
Macbeth, Hamlet,
My Mother the Car.
Thanks to you, Eddie,
you've made me a free man.
Eddie...
don't grow up to be like Zombo.
Grow up to be a nice,
normal, human being...
like your father.
Now, Eddie, don't
take it so hard.
But, Pop, Zombo's
nothing but a fake.
Without his makeup and everything,
he's nothing but an ordinary actor.
There should be a law
against fooling kids like that.
But, Son, that's an
actor's job, to pretend.
He's supposed to make
someone believe in something.
You see, when you're
very young, like you are...
and all your little friends...
it's a lot more fun if you believe
what you're seeing is real.
Pop, you knew that Zombo was
really an actor all the time, didn't you?
When you get right down to it,
your old dad's a pretty sharp cat.
I'm going to go tell
the guys in my club...
just how you explained
Zombo being an actor.
See you, Pop. See you, Eddie.
Well, Herman...
I don't know what you said to Eddie,
but it certainly seems to have worked.
Yep. I guess his old dad knew
how to handle the situation.
Somehow, I wish he hadn't exposed
Zombo on T.V. as a fake, though.
So do I.
It must have disappointed a lot of
little children who believed in him.
Little children? How about me?
Herman, you don't mean to
say you believed in Zombo?
I must admit I was...
jealous of him
for a while, but...
I sure think he's
a super-neato guy.
Oh, Herman.
[chuckling]