MOBILE PHONE VIBRATES
MAN SIGHS
LANDLINE RINGS
Hello.
Just tell me what's happened.
And what is it?
I'll be right down.
What's happened?
Er, Susannah.
Susannah?
Princess Susannah.
Is she all right?
Don't know.
(SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY)
(ON TV) 'Don't k*ll me.
'Please don't k*ll me.'
(DISTORTED MALE VOICE)
'Read the statement.
'Yes. All right.
'On this screen?
'That is correct.
I'm Susannah
'Duchess of Beaumont.
'Popularly known as
Princess Susannah.
'I am in a place you... er...
'cannot find,
held by one you will not trace.
'Prime Minister Michael Callow...
(CRYING) 'Prime Minister
Michael Callow my life...
'..my life depends on you.
'If you do not do precisely
as instructed by, um...
'by 4pm this afternoon,
I will be...
'(SOBS)
'..I will be ex*cuted.
'Please.'
What are you doing? Keep it going.
Prime Minister, at this point,
I think it's important to say
that we are 100% certain
that this is, indeed,
Princess Susannah.
Her car was intercepted
shortly after midnight,
returning from the wedding
of a college friend.
Two PPOs, still unconscious.
Heavy sedative, close range,
each with a single puncture wound.
No sign of struggle.
What do they want? Money?
Release the Jihadi?
Scrap Third World debt?
Save the f*cking libraries?
We are convinced both the video and
the demand it contains are genuine.
What demand?
What Susannah says next...
It concerns you directly, sir.
Just play it.
'There is only one demand,
and it is a simple one.
'At 4pm this afternoon,
'Prime Minister Michael Callow must
appear on live British television
'on all networks,
terrestrial and satellite,
'and... No!
'(SOBS)
'On all British networks,
terrestrial and satellite,
'and have full unsimulated
sexual intercourse with a pig.
'(SOBBING) I don't understand!'
VIDEO STOPPED
The video ends with a
series of technical
specifications for
the broadcast.
Why are you doing this?
Is this joke, right?
"Ha ha, Mike! Ho ho."
It's real.
She said pig.
Sex with a pig.
They want me to have sex with a pig?
Live on television
this afternoon.
But what... ? Who... ?
We're checking with embedded operatives,
compiling a list of suspects.
Meanwhile, the demand has been made.
There's not long
to formulate our response.
Well, I'm not f*cking a pig!
Page one, that's not happening.
Of course.
Absolutely, sir.
Well, have we established a dialogue
with this... ?
We can't. There's no
e-mail address, no code word.
No channel for negotiation.
So we focus on finding Susannah.
We get her back.
However it's done, I don't care.
We stop this now.
Everyone's working towards this.
Yes. No. Not everyone. A dedicated
core team. This can't go wide.
Keep it so far from the press
it's on the other side of Jupiter.
This only exists in this room.
It's already outside it.
If there are hacks sniffing around,
shut them down, bright, red, D Notice.
Super f*cking Godzilla injunction
with ten-inch Whitehall fangs!
This video came from YouTube.
What?
It was uploaded via an encrypted IP
an hour ago.
Well, get it off there!
We did after nine minutes, long enough
for it to be duplicated and spread.
Spread?
How many people have seen this?
We take down one,
six clones pop up elsewhere.
How many people?
50,000. That's our current estimate.
The news rooms have got it.
They're running this on air?
No. We put a type five D notice out
and they're complying.
For now.
It's trending on Twitter.
Oh! For... f*cking internet!
What now? What's the play book?
This is virgin territory,
Prime Minister.
There's no play book.
Princess Susannah's been kidnapped!
You scared the sh*t out of me!
There's a youtube of it!
Go to work!
And satellite,
'..And have full unsimulated
sexual intercourse with a pig.'
No way. It's a piss take, man.
Look at it!
'I don't understand!'
Why this is on the news?
'..Carlton Bloom's
controversial exhibition
'closes three weeks
ahead of schedule... '
How do we describe it?
"An indecent act"?
Everyone's seen the video.
They know the details.
If we mention bestiality
Ofcom would be pissed off.
f*ck Ofcom!
We're observing the D Notice.
Surely we're going to do something.
We are honouring the D Notice.
The voluntary D Notice!
It may be a sportsman-like
gesture but we are making it.
A woman's life is at stake!
We follow the procedure.
My timeline consists
of 100% viewers asking
why we're not covering it.
How do I reply?
You don't.
That is totally backwards.
No-one else has broken rank.
Not the Beeb, not Sky, not...
Facebook's coverage
is pretty comprehensive!
Maybe
It's like 9/11's happening and
we're broadcasting sandwich recipes.
We're not a chat room!
It's on CNN and Fox.
And MSNBC, Al Jazeera, NHK...
All right.
Oh, God! This planet!
OK, Sarah, cover the snatch itself.
Damon, public reaction. Meera,
the royal angle, upcoming marriage,
etc.
Simon, set tone with
Standards and Practices.
We need to explain this without
viewers sicking up their Weetabix.
Ken, the internet aspect, new paradigm,
Twitter, Arab spring, all that.
Dan, all graphics run past me.
Keep it functional... no Peppa Pigs.
Malaika,
update the princess obit VT.
The Obit VT?
Mm-hm. First, an awkward phone call.
Least I can do is warn Tom.
We put a D Notice on it.
'It's gone global, Tom.'
Don't. I'm begging you.
Don't run it, Martin.
'Look, I'm sorry. I can't help you.'
You know how much help
you're getting hereon in?
Multiply nothing by sh*t-all!
UKN are dead for us!
Shove it up your arse you f*cking...
Interesting.
A man.
Man?
A man!
Tom, so you're across it...
I'm exploring contingency plans.
'I briefed Callett.'
Ah! Mr Callett.
Noel, from Blue Eye.
Noel won an Emmy by his effects
work on that HBO moon Western thing.
Sea Of Tranquillity.
You won't find better.
Can you map a head onto a body live?
Depends if your camera's moving.
Rule sheet specifies a single hand-held
camera in a constant roving motion.
Mm.
Yeah, Gonzo style.
He knows his sh*t. That's tough.
"Fruition to be transmitted
in full"?
Focus on the visuals. Different face
mapped onto a live performer.
According to those stipulations.
Fringes of possibility...
Deadline's at four. We need to know
if it's workable by two.
(LAUGHS)
Can't happen.
It has to.
Our embeds have ruled out the major
players. It's not AQ, not IRA.
This is what's left...
radicals, hate groups.
People who've threatened yourself
or the royals.
They're being pulled in as we speak.
For more than questioning, I hope.
Somebody know something.
SIREN BLARES
'If we all do it more, there'll be
less waste lying around... '
Is it still not on the telly?
Nothing. Must be a hoax.
Or a black-out. Oh! Heads up!
'Some major breaking news
here on UKN.
In the last two minutes
'It's been confirmed
that Susannah, Duchess of Beaumont
'has been kidnapped.
'A video uploaded
anonymously to the Internet
'appears to depict the princess
pleading for her life.
'The video also contains a bizarre
ransom demand of a personal nature
'involving the Prime Minister,
and a detailed list of instructions
'relating to the enactment
of this demand.
'As police round up
potential suspects... '
'... across the nation.
'..This viewer video shows officers
raiding an address in Bradford.
'A man thought to be
connected with a religious
pressure group, dragged
to a waiting van... '
If it's t*rrorists,
they'll take her head off.
For f*ck's sake, man!
Just saying.
They'll be asking for
a million quid or something.
They want him to do it with a pig.
Demands...
Telegraph has the whole video and an
interactive timeline. Tonally stark.
Brief mention of the ransom being
"a sex act". Nothing too gross.
Sun runs with "Taken".
Big grab of Susannah...
Of course I still want that drink.
Then give me something.
It's not...
That won't be possible.
I'm friendly when I drink.
Very friendly when I'm grateful.
There's no comment at this time
The Guardian are running
a f*cking live blog
and a short piece on
the historical symbolism of the pig.
PHONE BEEPS
'..only five hours away,
'UKN's Damon Brown analyses
the public reaction to the crisis.'
'It's a day like no other.
'The kidnap video has been watched
by over 18 million people.
'Social networking sites are a... buzz
with 10,000 Tweets per minute.
'While we wait for
Downing Street to respond,
'the nation is voicing its opinion.
'I don't think anyone should concede
to any humiliation under thr*at.
'I couldn't bear to watch that.
'I won't be tuning in.
Just thinking about it is horrible.
'That's disgusting.
It is disgusting.
'It is disgusting but...
after that, he's gonna be hero.
'People will look at him like he's
insane and take his position away.
'It will be hilarious to see that on TV.
'Nothing too abnormal for MPs.
'They're all sexual deviants,
all MPs and Prime Ministers.'
We've been squeezing hard,
but nothing concrete.
It's my house! You can't...
You are in my doorway
touching my door handle!
Could I have a word?
It won't come to that.
And if they don't find her?
MI5 have got a name.
They're surrounding the place now.
Where?
What?
Where's the place?
Truro.
- Why are you lying?
- What?
You're lying!
Truro? Jesus!
I don't want you worrying.
You've never patronised me.
Don't start now.
Whoever this is, is insane.
And has a princess.
We'll get through this.
Not any princess... the princess.
Princess bloody Facebook bloody
eco-conscious national sweetheart.
I won't have to do anything.
Everyone's laughing at us.
You don't know that.
I know people.
We love humiliation.
I can not laugh
Nothing is going to happen.
It's already happening
in their heads.
In their heads, that's what you're
doing, what my husband is doing.
Please!
Jane.
I love you.
KNOCK ON DOOR
What?
Palace on the phone, sir.
Get Alex to stall them.
She's already been speaking to her
for ten minutes.
"Her"?
It's the Queen herself.
Go on.
'As the 4pm deadline draws nearer,
the world holds its breath... '
waiting to discover where the princess
Would they use a female pig?
It's on the list.
List of rules,
specifies camera angles and things.
Like dogme 95.
It's not like Dogme 95.
Exactly that.
What's Dogme 95?
Cinematic movement.
Lars von Trier.
Oh...
Rules for a director...
no background music,
only natural light,
for authenticity.
Same as these, so they can't cheat,
cut another guy's arse pumping away.
'I can't think of anything
remotely like this.
'A new form of terrorism...
It's not Islamist. To request
a pig is specifically abhorrent.
'That's the point!
Make love to a pig!'
Make love?
Steer them away
from the grisly details.
'Let's not dwell
on any of the details.
'This is already
a huge national talking point.
'Isn't this precisely what whoever
is behind this is looking for?'
How's Her Majesty taking it?
"I trust you'll do everything
in your power to get her back."
And we are.
It wasn't a collective "you".
It was a singular "you", ie me.
Sir, we may have something. Jamie's
been tracing the video's origin.
I thought it was untraceable.
Technically, yes, so I thought,
"Work with what we do now"
That video, before Youtube
compression it was 57.3 meg.
Algorithm.
Anyway, we also know
it was uploaded at 3:16 AM.
I ran a nationwide traceback
on uninterrupted one-way uploads
of precisely 57.3 meg
in the minutes leading up to 3:16,
and the closest I can get
is a postcode.
It came from somewhere in there.
Looks like a campus.
Yeah. Closed 2010.
It's been empty since.
Latest I-sat image on this area?
3 AM flyover sh*t from last night...
Looks like it had lights on.
We got him. We got him.
Alert the local team.
Full squad. I'll man it.
With helmet-cam relay.
We can watch the operation.
Press office, OK, Tom?
Yes!
Right. Confident?
It's a kick-bollock scramble,
but with finessing it should be OK.
Finesse quickly.
Our performer's on his way.
CAR STOPS
It's a new one for me, obviously.
I wouldn't normally... You know.
You seen any of my films?
No.
I'm pretty trad... bish, bash, bosh.
In, out.
Yeah, well...
What do I put on the invoice?
That's what I'm wondering.
There won't be any invoicing.
- Oi-oi, Rod!
- Oi-oi!
Need to prep two statements
Good outcome. Bad outcome.
Rescue operation?
Goon squad's heading
for postcode in Buckinghamshire.
HP84TD, a college or something.
They should be there by now.
TEXT MESSAGE ALERT
UNZIPS/CLOTHES RUSTLE
CAMERA CLICKS
PHONE BEEPS
Yeah, I've reduced
the luminance...
Agent Callett, this is Mr Flynn.
AKA, Rod Senseless.
Stage name.
Yeah. Well...
You need to get into this.
Is there a dressing room I can use?
No.
Where's my co-star?
Be rude not to give her a kiss
beforehand.
Outside in the truck.
Full of joie de vivre, isn't he?
You also need to wear this...
on your head.
Board's been prised away.
That's where they got in.
OK.
'Target identified.'
Commissioner. Thank you.
So, team red...
'Any orders, boss?'
Continue reconnaissance
and await instructions,
before you proceed.
'With the 4pm deadline
three hours away,
'time is running out
for the Prime Minister... '
SIGHS
They got in, yeah?
Do you think I'd be here
if they had?
We've got statements
for either outcome.
Listen,
coverage is very sympathetic.
Can't think about coverage now!
PHONE BEEPING
But it's on-side?
Strong undercurrent of sympathy.
Every poll indicates
understanding, disgust with the
captor, outrage at the whole
thing, but not at you.
If Walker's team f*ck up, I'm not
saying they will, but if they do,
the public anticipates
non-compliance.
There'll be squawks from the usuals,
but it's not "England expects".
If he kills her, there's no blood
on your hands. Bottom line.
'With hours to go, time is running
out for the security services.
'Joining us is actress Lydia... '
Thought this was coming from IB7.
We trimmed the edges
so it's coming direct.
Twinkle tits from?
Actress, Downton Abbey,
knows the princess.
This came for you,
left at reception.
Courier dropped it off.
Know how to plug this in?
ALL GASP
Jack, call the police. Take it!
Get someone to sh**t that first.
What the f*ck is this?
'I gave you rules.
'I said no cheating.
'(SCREAMS)'
'Some more breaking news,
'and a severed finger, thought
to belong to Princess Susannah,
'has been delivered to UKN,
along with a video
'apparently showing the kidnapper
removing it from the princess.
'UKN News has passed all material
to Scotland Yard... '
f*cking hell!
Oh, God! I can't watch this!
He's got to do what they want.
Yes, he f*cking has!
'..Which contained a statement
'accusing Downing Street of
attempting to break the rules
'This grim development comes just hours
before the 4PM deadline... '
TV OFF
Jesus!
Unless I'm mistaken,
our mystery man specified
no visual trickery
in his original demand, didn't he?
I considered it necessary...
Considered it necessary.
To divise...
f*cking HELL!
- Mike... !
- Don't!
It's nor...
One word, I swear I will f*cking... !
What did you do, Alex?
I had a back-up plan.
A man prepared to do it
and an FX company that
would paint your head
onto his shoulders.
You actually
thought that would work?
I believed it worth considering.
Then you're a stupid bitch.
With your interest at heart.
Who knew about this?
A select few.
It seems some idiot at the studio
recognised our designated performer,
Tweeted a photo and the online
hivemind did the maths.
It's not playing well.
With who?
With, er... anyone.
'A few hours ago, public opinion
was behind Prime Minister Callow,
'with only 28%
of the public believing
'he should fulfil the bizarre
and illegal request.
'In the wake of these images,
'and the delivery of the princess's
finger, the mood is shifting.
'It'll be humiliating, but nothing
compared to her suffering.
'With the appearance of finger...
'He's just got to do it.
Yes, he has to do it.
'What's the alternative?
'We can get another Prime Minister.
We can't live without a princess.
Of course...
'If he doesn't get her released,
he's finished, isn't he?
'Online polls suggest
that 86% of voters
'now believe
the demand should be met.
'Damon Brown... '
When are Walker's team
hitting the college?
They need time...
No more pissing around.
Julian's advising against...
I'm advising for.
They go in now. They go in now.
PHONE RINGS
Where's my obit VT?
What would you say if I said I was
near where Susannah's being held?
I'd say bullshit.
Then you'd be wrong.
Have you got a crew with you?
I'm not stupid.
Malaika?
Hello?
DOOR OPENS
Are you getting this?
Yeah. Don't put yourself
in any danger.
Still getting this?
Yeah. Just stay safe, Malaika.
Be careful!
If this doesn't work...
we need...
g*n CLICKS
Armed police! Lay down on the floor!
Lay down on the floor!
Move!
f*ck!
It's a decoy.
They must have bounced the upload
from here with a proxy. I'm sorry.
Jesus!
They're looking right at her!
They can't see her.
'Malaika, make sure they can't... '
Stay down! Don't move!
Run, Malaika! Run!
Get out of there. Come on!
Armed police!
MACHINE g*n FIRE
Is it him?
Where the f*ck is Jack?
Advance! Advance! Advance!
(MOANING)
Get down!
Get down!
UKN. It's Malaika something
or other. She's from UKN.
You press? Yes.
g*n CLICKS
There goes your RTS Award.
There must be something.
There's nothing there, Mike.
There'll be a clue.
Some evidence.
We've done all we can.
You rescued mannequin.
I'm sorry, Michael...
f*ck off, Julian!
20 past three. We're out of time.
We're not out of time!
We're not out of time.
DOOR CLOSES
It's not going to happen.
To the public...
f*ck the public!
To the public, this would be one man
of questionable popularity
putting personal embarrassment
over the life of a girl.
They will not release her anyway.
She's probably already dead.
If she isn't,
he'll k*ll her and upload the video.
Everyone will see it.
The world will see it.
The mood will border on insurrection
and you will be destroyed,
I guarantee you...
utterly destroyed.
The polling bears that out.
You won't just be
a disgraced politician,
The public, the Palace and the Party
insist on compliance.
f*ck the Party!
Refuse, and I've been advised
that we cannot guarantee
your physical safety.
Or that of your family.
But...
I've made arrangements
for the broadcast.
I can't...
I'm sorry, Michael.
It's out of your hands.
HE GASPS
'Let's take you live to the
scene in central London.
'As we see the Prime Minister's car
travelling across London... '
He's got to do it.
The world's bloody broken.
'..Appears to be heading west
to Bankside Studios.'
BEEPING
BEEPING STOPS
We've ratified the law...
after midnight,
it'll be a criminal of fence to store
any recording or images of the event.
They're doing an announcement
to warn people off
even watching, some sonic
tone that causes nausea.
'..When public opinion
has very much hardened,
'following the delivery
of the princess's severed finger.
'As the 4pm deadline approaches,
the nation is at a stand still
'watching the extraordinary
situation play out.
'Just to remind you, this is now
a story of global significance... '
"Michael Callow has displayed
incredible bravery"
"in what was a matter
of life or death."
That's how it opens,
then we should move on...
OK. Yeah.
Everything prepared?
Yes, ma'am.
It's sedated?
Injection. It's docile.
CAR DOOR OPENS
It's time to go in now.
'..An unprecedented nature.'
'This is an official announcement.
In a few minutes,
'the Prime Minister will perform
an indecent act on your screens.
CHEERING
'..in the hope that it will ensure
the release of Princess Susannah.
'Recording or possessing a copy of
this broadcast will become illegal
at midnight.
'All viewers are advised to turn off
their televisions immediately.
'The broadcast will commence after
the following tone.'
HIGH-PITCHED TONE
TONE CONTINUES
DOOR OPENS
We're complying with
the stipulated rules.
You'll have to keep going...
VOICE FADES
you'll have to see it through
to the end.
We've placed visual aids in your
eyeline, which might help if you...
get into trouble.
The suggestion we're getting
from psychologists
is that you should take
as long as you need.
If you rush, it might be
misinterpreted as eagerness
or even enjoyment.
It's just
a skeleton crew inside.
Closed set.
DOOR OPENS
DOOR OPENS
SLURPING
SNUFFLING/SLURPING
EXCITED VOICES
There he is!
CHEERING
'I trust this will bring about the
safe return of Princess Susannah.'
'I...
'I love my wife.'
'May God forgive me.'
GROANS/LAUGHTER
(WOMAN) Oh, no!
ALL GROAN
VOICES FADE
GENTLE MUSIC
Jesus! Poor bastard!
But it's been on for nearly an hour.
It's history, this.
VOMITS
PHONE RINGS
We've got her. Susannah.
They released her?
Stumbling about in the city.
Sedated. She can't remember
anything, but she's unharmed.
But her finger?
Not hers. DNA shows it's male.
What?
There is one other thing. There's a
CCTV grab of her from half three.
It seems he let her go
30 minutes before it happened.
Why?
My guess...
he knew everyone would
be elsewhere
watching screens.
So it's a statement.
Ma'am?
That's what this was all about,
making a point.
Should we, er... ?
Lose that page of the report.
No-one sees it, especially the PM.
Of course.
KNOCK ON DOOR
Good news, Michael.
You saved her.
Susannah's alive and well.
PHONE RINGS
DROPS PHONE
CONTINUES RINGING
(SOBS)
'On the one-year anniversary
of his humiliating ordeal,
'an apparently unconcerned Michael
Callow put in an assured performance
'at a public appearance,
accompanied by his wife Jane.
Here I go.
'OK.
'Oh!
'The other central figure in events
was also before the camera
'at last night's
Children Of Valour Awards.
'Princess Susannah
made her first public appearance
'since announcing her pregnancy.
'It was one year ago that
the Turner Prize-winning artist,
'Carlton Bloom,
'coerced the Prime Minister
into committing an indecent act.
'As the anniversary arrived,
one art critic caused controversy
'by describing it as "the first
great artwork of the 21st century".
'While cultural commentators
debate its significance,
'with a global audience
of 1.3 billion,
'it was an event
in which we all participated.
However, the incident failed
to destroy a Prime Minister,
'who holds an approval rating
three points higher than last year.
'Damon Brown, UKN.'
DOOR CLOSES
Jane.
Jane, please.