01x06 - Short Fuse

[bunniefuu]

Better than the Borgias.

Time for a little spontaneous
merriment!

Junior!

Workers arise! Protest the sale of
your company, your jobs.

Junior, please, come on!

Junior, Junior, please wait.
What is that? Plastic?

Yeah.

You invent it?

Oh, no, I wish I had. But,
I mean,

not that anybody'd cares around
this square organization.

Mr.Stanford, Mr.Buckner is waiting.

Bye, girls!

Roger, what is the matter with you?

Well, what's wrong? I came right
over the moment you phoned.

I was afraid you'd gone home.
I tried every place in the plant.

Roger.

What were you doing in your
darkroom?

Now don't you worry. You were
underexposed.

You didn't, you didn't develop
those pictures?

You know, I've been analyzing
this stuff.

Why doesn't our plastics division
ever make...

Get into your uncle.
He is very upset!

Now, wait! What is that stuff doing
here?

Benson dropped it off from the
house.

I'm gonna have someone
take it out to his car.

But he isn't going to Pinewild
until tomorrow morning!

At breakfast, he told Aunt Dory...

So he changed his mind.
Roger, please...

No, no, no, wait a minute. Have
you checked to make sure that...

...Benson packed everything
he needed?

I mean the...royal cravats?
The gold toothbrush? That's...

No cigars! Oh, Benson,
you are fired.

And you, Miss Bishop,
you are next!

Do you realize what will happen
when the great D.L. wakes up to...

...find no box of Fidel's finest?

I was just gonna get them.

Will you stop this? Roger, he's
got Quincy in there with him.

Oh, you know, I love that worried
expression on your face.

Now, you just hold... hold it.

Roger, stop this and get in there.

Come on, now, give me a smile.

Now, Roger. What do you think?

Smile. Look over here and smile.

Roger, will you put that silly camera down
and tell me now, what do you think?

Oh, I tell you Quincy.

When I was seventeen years old,
I told my aunt not to marry him.

Oh D.L., your syntax is terrible.

Listen to this,
I, Roger Stanford the second...

Roger, I have a management
meeting, I'd like to wind up.

Who is going to believe this, anyway?
I mean, a statement from me,

approving the sale of a company
that my own father started.

I mean, he'd roll over in his grave.

You know, you didn't read down
the bottom there, the last paragraph.

They'll believe it all right,

if you tell them that you've lost
your interest in chemicals,

you don't care about working here
anymore,

and you're going to Europe.

Oh!

I've got to calm my people down
around here, Roger.

I've got to get rid of this rumor,
this silly fear that...

...the sale of the company is going to
endanger their jobs.

It's not. It's not going to change
anything around here.

Except at the top!

Because besides being President of
Stanford Chemical,

you would also be the big man
in the conglomerate.

Now, wouldn't you?

No, no, it isn't just me, Roger.

Yeah, and what about your vice
president, I mean, how long is...

...Logan gonna last when they
find out how he opposed you?

He thinks the sale of this company is
criminal. Me, look, I don't matter.

I didn't inherit enough stock,
but Aunt Dory did!

And I tell you,
you haven't persuaded her yet.

She'll go along just as soon as
you do.

If she hadn't bent over backwards
to spoil you and pamper you,

when she took you in as a kid.

Oh, Quincy. Isn't he amusing?

He married my aunt but he couldn't
marry her stock, what's the matter?

Why can't you get her to give
you control?

It's almost six o'clock, Mr.Buckner.

The roads will be wet and
we've got a long drive.

Yes, let's get on with it, Quin.

I thought there'd be something else.

Yes, there is.

Roger, I've been very patient with you
down through these past several years.

All the trouble you've caused here
in this company.

Not to mention the half a million
dollars you cost us...

...by fooling around in something
you called research.

That was kind of you.

But enough is enough.

Quincy.

Item: I found the place where you
gamble in Vegas.

This is a letter from
a handwriting expert...

...that'll swear you forged
your aunt's signature.

Oh D.L., now this,
it's really beneath you.

Go on, Quin.

Item: The drug thing in college.

Item: The mess in Acapulco and...

this is a photostat of
that car-theft report.

Oh Quincy, I tell you, you are
superb. You really are, you know,

You are the best combination
chauffeur and private detective...

...in the business.
Yeah, but what is the matter?

Now tell me, why can't he get
something for you on Logan...

...and get rid of all your opposition?

Tell me, now, Quincy,
what is he, what's wrong?

Your wiretapping. It's not working?

Why can't you frame
a harmless old bachelor?

Yes, Valerie?

Excuse me, Mr.Buckner.
Mr.Logan and the others are here.

Thank you.

It's all here, Roger.

Tomorrow, some of the attorneys
from the conglomerate...

...are coming up to meet with me
at the cabin at Pinewild...

...to discuss the terms of the sale.

But tonight, I want you to
go see your Aunt Dory.

Tell her you don't care about working
here anymore, you're quitting.

And tomorrow, you release
that statement to the press.

Otherwise, I'm afraid I'll...
I'll have to show her all this.

You really would, wouldn't you?

I would.

You know, D.L.?
I have been well aware of...

...what you and Quincy have been up to
the last couple of months and...

seeing you've got my back up
against the wall,

You win.

Hmm?

You're going to give up this easily?

I just know when I'm outclassed.

I'll sign it tonight.

Anyway, I mean,
who wants a chemical company?

Ah, gentlemen.

- Hello, Roger!
- Hello, Junior!

Oh, and good night, Uncle David!

Well?

Don't worry. They haven't set
Quincy onto you, yet.

If only you didn't feel it necessary
to play the fool so much.

What was it this time?

Oh, it's nothing. Really nothing,
it's nothing at all. Except...

...we have decided that it is time
for people to stop calling me...

..."Junior" around here.

Roger, shall we see each other later?

Why not?

I've got this little job to do first,
but it shouldn't take very long.

Wasting your time, Fergy,
it's gonna rain.

Good night, Junior.

Oh, oh, Fergy, I am sorry,

I forgot to tell you this morning,
but could you look under my hood.

I think I've got a loose plug wire
or something.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Oh, you have missed a spot here,
Fergy. My uncle will not like that.

You're crazy, Junior.
The wiring's okay.

Hose clamp needs tightening a little,
that's all.

It does? How did that get loose?

Oh, don't worry, Fergy.
I don't want you to miss your nickel tip.

Oh Sir?

Who are you?

Is that you?

Your aunt said it sounded like
a car down here in the drive.

I mean, you're Mr.Stanford,
aren't you?

Well, obviously.
And who might you be?

Oh, I'm sorry. Columbo...
Lieutenant Columbo. I'm from the police.

The police?

You mean, that old heap out there
is yours?

Oh, yeah. It needs a coat of paint,
doesn't it?

Anyway, Mrs.Buckner,
she asked me to get you quick.

There are no servants up there
in the house.

She was afraid you were gonna go
straight onto your place or something.

Why? What's wrong?

Oh, nothing that we know about
so far, but she's very upset.

So I suggest that you close your door
and come right away.

My...? Oh, no, I don't live here.

I live in a guest cottage out back,
that's what she meant.

This is where the chauffeur lives.
See,

I was on my way home tonight.
I thought I saw his door open.

You did? The chauffeur?

You mean Mr.Quincy? The fellow who
was driving Mr.Buckner tonight?

I'd better look in here.

Couldn't you find the light?

Well, of course, I did.

I mean, that's how I found out
nobody was home.

Well, everything seems to be
in order.

Maybe somebody's been
tampering with this lock.

Lieutenant, just what are you
doing here now? What has happened?

Mr.Buckner, he sort of disappeared.

He may have been att*cked somewhere.
They warned him, didn't they?

They threw that awful stenchbomb
on our lawn yesterday.

Yes, your aunt says there's been
some kind of trouble out there...

...at Stanford Chemical.

Well, he has been threatened.

I know there have been
those anonymous phone calls.

But those are from hotheads.

Hotheads?
What are they hot about?

He's been negotiating with
the conglomerate, dickering to sell.

Now, a lot of the old retainers
do not like this.

You might say there has been
an excess of corporate bad feeling.

I see. How did you feel about this,
ma'am?

Did you side with your husband
on this?

I was in the process of
making up my mind,

which is beside the point right now.

David is missing.
That's the only issue.

Yes, it certainly is, ma'am.

Tell me, do you know anything about
his whereabouts tonight?

He left the plant around seven,
he was going to Pinewild.

Pine...?

...wild.

Pinewild. I'm not familiar with that...

We have a place up there.
He should have arrived hours ago.

The caretaker hasn't heard anything
and...

I called the sheriff's mountain office.

They can't find him.

Oh, maybe they got hungry. Maybe
they stopped off somewhere for a drink.

Rog, you know that isn't so. He told
Benson he'd have supper up there.

You know how awful those roads are.

If he'd only taken the aerial tram
and had the caretaker meet him...

...at the top as I do.
It's so much safer, faster.

Well, ma'am,
I checked with Highway Patrol.

And there's no report of any
accidents on those roads.

There, you see?

Oh...

Oh, Lieutenant,
I think we owe you a drink.

Aunt Dory, when he was out of town
last week,

you didn't even notice he was gone.

Now, what made you call the police
tonight of all nights?

So do you want a drink?

Roger, I called the Commissioner
of Police.

And he said he'd send over
his very best man.

Is that a fact?

Well, my wife, she says
I'm second best but...

she claims there are 80 fellas
tied for first.

At any rate, I don't mind
being sent out on a false alarm.

I just hope that this is one.

Because she had a right to call.
You see, she got this message.

Here, I'll show you.

Message?

Yes, he called just before I got home
from the opera board meeting.

That was at seven-thirty.

Oh, maybe you better operate this
because I'm not sure how it...

All right, Lieutenant.

You can tell that
he's calling from a car.

You can hear it on the recording.

There's no one answering at the moment.
This is a recording device.

Would you care to leave a message?

Oh, these modern idiotic devices.
She's not home yet.

Quincy, look in the dash there,
will you?

Dash. You hear that?
Dash from the car?

If so, your voice will be recorded,

and the connection won't be broken
until you hang up.

Nope. What's the matter with Benson?

You're sure your cigar case isn't
in your coat pocket?

You may start your message, now.
Thank you.

Yeah, just give me the box.
Thank you.

Hello? Hello darling.

It's me. Hold on just a second.

Want me to pull over and
open that for you?

No, it's all right. I got it.

Oh, look, why I'm calling,
I tried to get you earlier today.

But I guess you were in one of those
silly committee meetings or something,

Miss Bishop couldn't get you
from the office either.

But what I was calling about, I'm...
I'm on my way up to the cabin, now.

So, I'll see you tomorrow...
No, Sunday rather, Sunday afternoon...

... or evening sometime. But what
I wanted you to know is that...

Roger is gonna come over to see you
tonight. He wants to talk to you...

... about something.
So I just wanted to make sure that...

... you'd be home and
wait up for him, will you?

It's... well, he's made a decision about
something. It might not be exactly what...

... you figured it would be, but to
my way of thinking, it's a wise decision.

So after you talk to him,

call me back at the cabin, will you?

Let me know what he decided.
Bye bye for now, darling.

Gee, I'm terribly sorry about that.
Here, I've got something in my pocket.

Yeah.

Well, anyway, that's it.
He just hung up.

Yeah, sure.

Roger... you're just as concerned
about him as I am, aren't you?

What?

You seem so upset.

I'm surprised because you don't like him
very much, do you?

Oh, well actually, I've been
growing much fonder of him lately.

Did you call him back?

Yes, I tried to reach him on the car phone.
There was no answer.

Lieutenant, look, if there's
anything you can do, do it.

Yeah, go out there and find him!

Well I can assure you,
I've started all the wheels rolling.

We're doing everything we can.

Now, this area, this Pinewild,
that's out of our bailiwick.

But we... we've got the Sheriff's office
and the Highway Patrol on it.

And I'm gonna stay after them,
don't you worry, Mrs.Buckner.

Fine.

I mean, we're gonna find him.

Thank you, Lieutenant.

Good night.

Good night.

I hope you're right, Lieutenant.
My uncle is a very important man.

Oh, I'm aware of that, sir.
Listen, by the way,

what about your parents, Mr.Stanford?
Are they both alive?

Oh, no, they d*ed when I was in college.
It was a freak expl*si*n at the plant.

Aunt Dory became my guardian
and then she married David.

Were there any other children?

No.

Aunt Dory is your father's sister?

Yes.

And on your father's side,
were there other aunts and uncles?

Tell me, Lieutenant,

why are you so fascinated
with my family history?

Oh, no, it's just that... trying to get
things straightened out in my mind.

In case you're wondering...
if anything does happen to David,

his money goes to her, not me.

Oh, I wasn't thinking about that at all.
Oh, no.

Listen, by the way, I didn't wanna
mention this to your aunt inside,

but... is it possible that
Mr.Buckner might have wanted...

...to stop someplace
without telling anybody?

You know, visit somebody in private?

I don't think that's any of your business,
Lieutenant.

It certainly is none of mine.

Oh, no. Oh, no, sorry.

Good night.

Good night.

Is your watch broken?

Hmm?

Your watch?

My watch broken?

No, why?

Oh, it's nothing important.
It's just that...

...inside I noticed
you kept looking at it.

You know, Lieutenant,
people do look at their watches.

Yes, they certainly do. Sorry.
Good night.

Rog.

What did you want to talk to me
about tonight?

What did David mean?

Oh, that was nothing. Nothing at all.

I had this idea I might like to work
in the legal department for a while.

David said it was fine.
I start there Monday.

Oh, life would be so simple
if you two would just get along.

We're going to.

Where is he, Roger?

If he'd only listened to me.
If he'd only taken the tram.

He's going to be fine.
Just fine, sweetheart.

Some view, huh, Lieutenant?

All the way to the top.
8,600 feet above sea level.

It's only a 15-minute ride.

Look down there.
About a 2,000-foot drop.

Over here.

The only way to scale that rock,
you have to be a mountain goat.

We had to use helicopters
to build this thing.

Don't worry.
This tram is absolutely safe.

Designed to last.
Never had an accident.

Just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Sure nice view, isn't it?

- Yes, it is.
- That's exactly what our problem is.

See, early this morning
the sheriff's found a shiny bumper.

At the base of the cliff.
Now, here we are.

It's just about a half hour or so
down the road.

Down, yes. Well, that'll be good.

What is that? Quincy the chauffeur?

Yeah. We spotted Buckner's body
further down there.

You can barely see a man working
his way towards it.

Now, step out here, on this ledge,
you get a better view.

Right over there.

Thank you very much.
That won't be necessary. Thank you.

Okay.

As you can see, there's no guardrail,
the roads were slick last night.

Now, this stuff here looks b*rned.

The bodies are charred. There's debris
scattered over thousands of feet.

We're getting more climbers.

I'll keep you posted on
everything we... we find.

Look here.

Glass.

Yeah, scattered up and down the road,
all over.

Now we found
the chauffeur's cap intact.

About 200 yards clear off to one side
down there.

Well, you know,
sometimes a gas t*nk explodes.

Well, yeah.

Maybe the car skidded and
smacked that rock and the gas t*nk blew.

Or maybe
something inside the car blew.

Exactly.
And since they're just out from LA,

well, I guess in a way it's sort of
your jurisdiction, Lieutenant.

Or at least your problem.

The possibility of m*rder?
But that's ridiculous.

What difference does it make?
Dead is... is dead, isn't it?

Now this talk of the fact that
it is not an accident?

Well, the Lieutenant was here
again today and he...

He said that
they always have to investigate.

It's probably just routine, he... he didn't
want to bother me too much, I guess.

Anyway, he's...
he's gone looking for Roger.

Oh, did I...
oh, did I tell you that...

...David had decided to put Roger
in the legal department?

Did he?
Well, that is something of a switch.

Roger and I have become friendly.

I know he's made mistakes
in the past, but,

I think he's coming along very well.

And I... I could never understand
why David didn't like him better.

Of course, I never understood Roger
too well myself.

But I... I've tried to do the best
I could for him, and he is a Stanford.

Somehow I always thought
he might be in charge some day.

Everett... you, you don't think
David was m*rder*d, do you?

Oh, of course not. Now... Look,
you just let me handle everything.

We're not even going to talk about
business for a while yet.

I'll take care of it all.
Newspapers, arrangements...

I know it's a dreadful thing to say,
but I'm so glad you're next in line.

I need someone I can trust.

You just leave everything to me.

And if either you or Roger have
any problems with the police,

you let me know.

You do get around, don't you,
Lieutenant?

I was just waiting for you when
I came here...

you know, to look into
the darkroom and...

What are you doing, Lieutenant?
Looking for secret weapons?

Secret weapons? No.
What is this? Kid's stuff?

Oh, hey, Lieutenant!

Lieutenant, I...
I was talking to my aunt.

And she said that you think that
maybe somebody k*lled my uncle.

She said that there was something
about the accident. I don't know.

Oh, no, we don't know anything
for sure, just yet.

Oh, no, it's just that... You know,
that's a wonderful darkroom.

Imagine having something like that
right next to your own office!

Yeah!

Wonderful.

You know, my wife's kid brother,
he's a nut on photography, too.

Wonderful hobby.

You know, Lieutenant.
I also work on inventions in there.

And you were very lucky... that you
didn't knock over a bottle of acid,

or some cyanide crystals,
or nitroglycerin.

Oh, don't tell me anymore.
I'll have a heart att*ck.

But you really know that stuff,
don't you?

I noticed that medal you wear
around your neck,

that's an honor society medal,
isn't it?

Oh, it's a National Science
Fraternity.

I had my Ph.D. in chemistry
before I was 21.

But that's before my M.B.A.
and lawyer.

You don't say...

You know, I knew you'd be the one
that could help me.

Would you come?

Now, you see,
my problem with chemistry,

that started way back in high school.

'Cause in my junior year, I...
I had to get a better grade.

So I said
"the heck with this chemistry stuff,"

"I'll take another year of woodshop."

You know.

You just build a bird house, and if
you paint it red, you get an "A".

So that's what I did. Because
that chemistry stuff, it's just too hard.

You follow my meaning?

Uh... so?

Oh well, you see the fellows
over at our lab,

they tell me that
you can make all sorts of...

...trigger devices that don't
use any powder.

They're sort of like expl*sive
fire things, maybe. Is that true?

Oh, so you think
someone put a b*mb in his car?

Well, you know there could have
been an expl*si*n,

before they went of the cliff.

Ah...

You see now, if that's the case,

then we got a whole different
kind of...

Lieutenant...

You see what I mean?

Lieutenant, I... I would not
light that cigar now unless you...

...wish to witness an expl*si*n
right now.

Oh... yeah, right. I'm sorry.
No, I won't light it.

Okay, and for your information,
Lieutenant,

there are 30 Ph.D. 's in this plant,

and over 60 qualified chemists.

Yes, there're 10 private experiment
rooms just like mine back there.

And that is not even to mention
the main laboratory building,

right over there, where 2,000
more employees...

...toil away like merry little gnomes.

You don't think that all of these people
wanted to k*ll Mr.Buckner, do you?

I have no idea.

But a large corporation is like
a jungle, Lieutenant, to coin a phrase.

I can't tell you how many executives
there are in our ivory tower...

...who would commit felonious as*ault
just for the key to a private washroom.

That's not even to mention
the ones who're very unhappy,

because my uncle wished to sell.

Yeah, you know, like those malcontents
who kept threatening him.

Well, you know, somehow,

we just can't get a handle
on those threats.

I mean like that stinkbomb,
the boys we sent to check it out,

they say nobody even saw a car
in your neighborhood during that time.

Well, that is unfortunate.

However, Lieutenant, I witnessed
one of those phone calls myself.

You did?

Yes.

Well, never mind about that.

I'll get somebody else
to check it out, okay?

Yeah.

Because I have my own personal lead
in this case.

You have?

Do you remember that recorded
telephone message on your aunt's phone?

Yeah.

Well, I've been listening to that
over and over again.

It's all right in there.

And I'll tell you what.

Good cigar.

This is one area that I do know.

His cigars?

Yes, Benson told me that he dropped off
Mr.Buckner's suitcase here...

...at six o'clock,
but no box of cigars.

He said that you told him that
you were gonna take care of that.

Yes. Yea...
Yeah, I, I keep a supply right here.

Go on, Miss Bishop.

What's the matter?

Well, it's just funny your asking
about cigars, that's all.

You see, Mr.Buckner had
a little pocket cigar case.

Here!

What?

Don't touch that!

But why not?
The cleaning lady just gave it to me.

She said she found it
underneath my desk.

It must've been in Mr.Buckner's overcoat,
that's where he always kept it,

And you see, Benson put the overcoat
on the suitcase and...

it must have fallen out, that's all.
I guess I just didn't notice it.

What's the matter, Lieutenant?

Did you think someone had stolen it?

Well it did seem like
a kind of a coincidence.

On that telephone tape,
you could just barely hear...

...cigar case missing,
no cigars in the dash.

Oh, so you thought that someone
wanted him to open a box of cigars,

while he was still in the car,
I suppose.

Well, it was a possibility.

Lieutenant, what's this all about? I mean,
why are you so interested in cigars?

Oh, I'm terribly sorry. It's just that
we have to check out everything.

I know how badly you must feel
at this point. Forgive me.

Listen, by the way, Mrs.Buckner said
she tried to reach you that night.

She thought you'd be working late
here in the office, but...

Oh, no... no, you see, my mother was
expecting me to work late,

and I knew she'd be going to bed early,
so I went to a movie.

Lieutenant. Lieutenant, you have
not answered the lady's question.

Now, will you tell her the truth?

Miss Bishop, the Lieutenant is
from Homicide and obviously...

...he is under the impression that
the accident was caused by...

...an exploding cigar.

What?

Well, you see, Lieutenant, Miss Bishop
got the box of cigars from here.

Yeah, I saw her, and she put them
over there on the suitcase.

Yeah, here, try one yourself.

Wow, I never saw cigars
quite like this before.

Are all the boxes the same?

Uh, listen, don't you tell Customs.

They're from Cuba.
You know, that's a dollar a pop.

Now wait just a minute.

Are you suggesting that something was
wrong with one of those cigar boxes?

Oh, of course not.
The Lieutenant is just simply wrong.

You see, if there was an expl*sive
in that car,

it would have to have been placed
somewhere else.

No, no, I'm afraid not.

No. You see, on the way over here,
I bumped into a very nice old fella...

...that works in one of your
service stations. His name's Ferguson.

And he cleaned that car
before they left.

And he told me there was nothing else
in that car except a suitcase,

a coat, and a box of cigars.

And the old boy who carried
everything down,

he said the same thing.

All right, then. Then, the expl*sive
must have been in the cigar box.

Yeah, I'll grant you that,
Lieutenant, yes.

And if somebody tampered with it,
or switched it...

that would have had to have happened
here, right?

Okay, Miss Bishop. Will you tell me
how long did D.L. 's suitcase...

...sit there in the middle of this floor,
with people coming and going?

Oh, 20... 30 minutes.

But you were here at that time,
weren't you?

Didn't I hear you say that
you were here?

Oh, no, no, no.
Now, Mr.Stanford did not touch it.

No, I just happen to know,
he left without touching it.

Oh, that's right,
but I can remember Mr.Logan,

Joe Stevenson, Burnheimer...

Oh look, Miss Bishop, would you
make a list for the Lieutenant?

And put down there anything else
you can remember.

Anything like stolen boxes,
boxes given away... oh, just anything.

What's the matter, Miss Bishop?

The vice president...

He has a supply. Well, the cigar orders
sometimes come in together.

Mr.Everett Logan.

Mmm, I have about four boxes left.

Did you say four, sir?

Yes, that's very strange.

Nancy?

What's the matter?
Is something wrong?

Yes, sir?

Oh, here, you've been keeping tabs
on these supplies.

How many boxes of cigars
were there?

Oh, well, I really haven't checked them
much in the last two days.

But did you take some home,
Mr.Logan?

No, I did not.

Oh well, they must be in here
someplace.

Oh, please, don't touch the boxes if
you don't mind?

Oh... that'll be all, Nancy.
Thank you, you can go now.

Be sure to close the door
on your way out.

If you don't mind, sir, if you'll just
lock this up and not touch anything,

then I'll call a fingerprint crew.

Why Lieutenant? I thought you were
investigating David's accident.

Just covering all bases, sir.

I mean, we haven't found
anything suspicious.

He thinks there might have been
a b*mb in a cigar box.

What?

Well, that's just a theory.

Oh, well of course, we'll cooperate
in any way possible.

I'm afraid that isn't very much of a lock,
and I have had several meetings here.

But... well, I must warn you,
Lieutenant.

Unless you find something
a little bit more important than that,

if one word of a m*rder investigation...

...is leaked to either the press
or anyone else...!

Oh, no, sir, no.
And that's all I need for now.

Thank you very much, much obliged.

Roger! What the devil is going on
around here?

Does he really think
it wasn't an accident?

Hop in, Lieutenant,
I'll give you a lift.

Oh, thanks. Boy, this plant of
yours is really something.

You know, you can get lost
here just wandering around.

I told you, Lieutenant,
this plant is not mine.

It belongs to my Aunt Doris.

Hey, and you know, about Logan.

You know, he was right when he said
there were a lot of people in his office.

Anybody could've taken that box.

This fellow Logan,
he's quite a friend of yours, I guess.

Oh, well, I mean, he...

He has been nice enough to take
a good deal of interest in my work lately.

Why?

You mean, he sort of
fired you up, like... maybe...?

What?

I found this
in the wastepaper basket,

in the other apartment above
the garage where the chauffeur lived.

It looks like some kind of a report
from Mr.Quincy to Mr.Buckner.

And Quincy claims that Mr.Logan,
for some funny reason, was trying...

...to upset you over this sale thing,
using you to manipulate your aunt.

Hey, let me see that.

No, I'd rather not.
It's just hearsay.

I don't want to spread
these rumors around.

You know, I really don't understand
this business stuff.

Of course I never could understand
business.

My wife, she always makes out
our taxes.

Oh, by the way, Benson mentioned
that Quincy was one time a cop.

Well, I knew, or suspected rather,
that he...

...did some extracurricular work
for my uncle, you know, like...

...checking up on people. Why?

Well, I couldn't find the typewriter
that this report was written on.

And Benson, he had an idea that...

...Quincy might have had
another hideaway someplace.

Something else that
he uses as a base of operations.

You know anything about that?

Sorry.

Oh, no, no, no, now, wait a minute.

What is the matter with me?
Of course, you know, one night,

I was dumb enough to get caught in
a poker game with him, y'know what I mean?

And quite by accident, I saw a piece
of paper that was in his wallet.

And it... Well, it didn't say "Quincy"
on it, it said...

"O'Neill", yeah, that's what it said,
"Harry J. O'Neill", yeah.

You know, I can check up on that
right away. Car is right over here.

Thank you very much.

Okay.

I knew you'd be a help to me. Bye.

Mr.Stanford? Roger, wait!

What's your problem?

I nearly d*ed out there.
All those questions!

All I could think to say was that
I went to the movies last night.

Now, relax, relax! D.L. wasn't
really m*rder*d, and you know it.

Do you know that?

That's a funny thing to say.

I'm sorry. Well, it's just that they keep
investigating around here and...

...checking into everything,
like those private personnel files...

...I let you look at, like Mr.Logan's.

Oh, I put those back days ago!

It was just curiosity.
Oh, how to succeed in business...

Roger... I don't want anyone
to find out about us.

Oh... well, how could they?

You took those pictures of me.

Oh, I cleaned up my desk already
and the darkroom. I got rid of everything.

I'm sorry, it's...

It's just the past few days I...

You know, you need a rest.
Yeah, I authorize it, yeah.

And don't worry about a thing.
It's all gonna be over soon.

Believe me... all soon.

It'll be dark in a while.

But we'll send the climbers up again
first thing in the morning.

We'll try the lower cliffs.

No piece of the cigar box, yet?

No. It's funny.

There are some things we're finding
intact, others smashed, others burnt.

Well anyway, we're still trying.

Here. I thought you might wanna
see this.

A piece of the gas t*nk.

Yeah. And it did explode.

The autopsy report's not
much help either.

I heard.

Just burns.

Nothing on the tissue to prove
any foreign inflammable.

Maybe some kind of
petroleum jelly was used.

Something will turn up.

How can you be so sure?

Well, it's a big corporation,
kind of like a jungle, to coin a phrase.

There shouldn't be anybody in there.
Cover the front, I'll get the back.

Stop!

Stop!

Roger! I don't believe it!
What were you doing?

Nothing! Oh, I do wish you would
listen to me Aunt Dory...

You haven't answered me!

I can't! I can't.
Not with these two men here.

Would you mind leaving us alone,
please?

Sorry, ma'am,
they told me to bring him over here,

but that doesn't mean
I can let him out of my sight.

Listen, I got here as fast as I could.
Where is Farrell?

Oh, good evening, ma'am.

Lieutenant Columbo,
I'd like an explanation of this.

He's on the way. Look, I told her
where we caught him.

He broke in, entered,
tore up the place, resisted arrest...

They literally jumped me.

All right, we're gonna get this thing
cleared up, just as fast as we can.

Don't worry about that.

Now, say,
I thought you said to me that...

...you had no idea where
Quincy's hideaway was?

Well, I didn't. But then I remembered
this car salesman...

...that Quincy was friendly with,
and he did.

Lieutenant, look, if I could just talk
to you alone for a few minutes...

Excuse me, please.
What do you have, Farrell?

I just brought a couple of things.
The typewriter was there, and...

...we got quite a bit of
information from his file.

Dossiers, actually.
I left Charlie there to go over them.

What I brought you is
a couple of things here...

Dossiers? What kind of dossiers?

Something about Mr.Logan?

What makes you say that?

You see, this afternoon I found
something in the pocket of...

...one of David's suits.
Some sort of report about Everett Logan.

Personal information.
Very damaging.

From Quincy?

May I see it?

I b*rned it, Lieutenant.
You see, I finally realized that...

...David was using Quincy
to keep tabs on the executives.

All right, Mrs.Buckner,
would you give me a moment, please?

There is quite a bit of stuff
on Logan there.

Also on a couple of other executives.

Only take a look at this.
Quincy's bankbook.

New account... pretty big deposit.

Yeah, nice guy, Quincy. Looks like he's
trying to put the bite on his own boss.

Look, here.

That's what I took off the kid
when I caught him.

That's the only thing he tried
to get out of Quincy's.

And I guess he was in quite a bit of a
hurry because he forgot the negative.

Uh, Mrs.Buckner,
will you excuse us for a moment?

I want to speak to Mr.Stanford
for a moment.

I think we can settle this right now.

Hey, wait a minute,
that's evidence, lady!

No! Don't let her see them!
Aunt Dory, you give them back!

Valerie Bishop and David?

Look, Why do you think
I went there?

I knew Quincy would have something
like that!

Now you've let her see
the very thing I never wanted her to.

It's all right, Rog, I have to see things.
I have to see everything.

But I'm the only one,
do you understand, Lieutenant?

I want this trash b*rned.

But ma'am,
we can't destroy evidence.

There's no evidence
if there's no m*rder.

And you haven't proved
there was a m*rder.

But ma'am,
if we had a little more time...

Will you please get out of here
and leave us alone!

Look, I'm sorry about
what's happened here tonight...

Please get out!

I'm truly sorry.

Oh, Rog,

I liked that woman very much.
All the time, she and David...

I never wanted you to know
about this, ever.

I mean, I've known for a couple of
years about them, but...

Well, it's only recently that
I realized that Quincy was...

...beginning to snoop around.

You knew?

Oh, yes.

I went to David, I asked him to stop.

He refused.

No wonder he turned against you.

No wonder he kept demeaning you
in front of me.

Oh, Rog, dear, I've been...
I've been such a fool.

I've misunderstood everything so.

There, there

Thank you Benson.
Five o'clock, please.

Oh! Oh, hi, Junior.

Uh... excuse me, Mr.Stanford.

Good morning, Mr.Stanford.

Good morning, Mr.Stanford.

What's wrong?

Oh... excuse me.

I just found this on the desk.
It's from the personnel manager.

Well, I... I tried to reach you at the
house but you'd already gone, and...

Your aunt wouldn't
come to the phone.

You know, she hasn't answered one
single call from me since the funeral?

I sent her up to Pinewild for a short
rest. It was the doctor's orders.

Let me see this.
Well, that's a pink slip.

That stupid personnel department,
you're not fired!

Well... but I don't understand.

You see, my aunt remembered
how much your mother...

...always wanted to live in the desert
in Arizona, wasn't it?

And she thought that
you might be happier there, too.

Roger, I can't afford that.

Oh, I'll take care of that.
And listen, don't you worry.

We'll see each other a lot.
Yeah, a lot.

Yeah, a lot...

I'm gonna be here for quite a while.
You can come back later.

Would you tell Maintenance
I'll keep the desk and the chair.

The rest of the stuff is
just dreary.

Yeah, I'll have a decorator come in
next week and refurnish.

And what about your office?

Your old office?

Oh, I don't care. Wrap it up,
give it away. I don't particularly care.

I don't want to be disturbed,
Miss Bishop.

Well, it's Mr. Logan
and Lieutenant Columbo.

Well, tell them...
tell them to come in.

Ah, gentlemen.

Uh... I hate to interrupt like this,
Mr.Stanford.

But Miss Bishop said you were in.

So I am. What can I do for you?

Uh, quite a surprise, I mean,
I went down to your old office,

but they told me you moved in here.

Lieutenant, would you mind
coming to the point?

Oh, certainly. By the way,

Miss Bishop seems unhappy,
did something go wrong?

I have no idea.

Could you explain the reason
for your interruption, Lieutenant?

Oh, yeah. Well, I came to get you,
and Mr.Logan here.

Of course, the a funny thing,
I found him cleaning out his desk, too.

Well... Whatever for, Everett?

I've been fired!

Fired? Oh, I find that very hard
to believe, Everett.

Do you? It was your aunt's request.

She wouldn't even talk to me
on the phone when I called.

Oh, obviously, it's a mistake.

Obviously, we were rather close,
if you'll remember.

You wouldn't have any possible idea...

...why she might have changed
her mind about me, would you?

Oh, no, no, none whatsoever.

Of course, you know,
it is a family corporation.

So she has every right to do
whatever she chooses.

Uh, this must've fallen over.

Lieutenant...

You take an inordinate length of time
to come to the point.

Oh, well, I heard from the people
at the Pinewild Sheriff's office.

They're gonna meet us
at the bottom of the grade.

Oh, no, I'm awfully sorry.
Perhaps Mr.Logan could go along, but,

I'm afraid I'm just much too busy
this morning to go for a long drive.

Oh, I see. I just thought
you'd wanna know what they found.

I mean, you are interested
in any latest development, aren't you?

Of course I am. What was it?

You know, they didn't say.
They just said it was very important.

Oh, it seems very peculiar
if they didn't say what it was.

Sure does.
All right, Mr.Logan, let's go.

Fine. Doris will be up at the cabin
and I wanna talk with her.

Uh... just a minute, Lieutenant.

If this does concern
my uncle's death,

I suppose, in good conscience,
I should go along.

Fine. I've got the car outside.

Hi, Sergeant.

Lieutenant.

Is that it?

Yeah. Pretty good shape, too,
considering...

See right up there
to the left of the second dark crag?

You can't see the road from here,
but it's right to the left of that.

Just about a couple hundred feet
from where they went over.

Well, they must've been blown apart
like the cap and that other stuff.

Yeah, skidded right into a crevice.

What is it, Lieutenant?

I think that we ought to get this
information to your aunt in a hurry.

So, let's go on, now.

No, no, no,
I.. I sent her up to the cabin,

So she wouldn't be disturbed.
It would take us hours to get there.

No, no, we'll be there in no time.
Here, Sergeant.

Engineer's waiting for you.

Thank you very much. This way.

Yeah, your aunt put me
on this contraption.

She said it was
a lot faster than driving.

A lot safer. Hope she's right.

Well, let's look in this, huh?

Yes, I'd like to know what they found.

Let's see what we have.

Uh-huh.

Why that's...
that's David's cigar box!

I told you this would be worth
coming out for, didn't I?

Yeah... yeah, it sure is.

You see, except for the hinges
which are a little shaky,

this whole thing is in one piece.

This means that David was not
m*rder*d, doesn't it, huh?

Oh yes, sir.
Yes, this changes everything.

There's no question about it,
yeah, uh...

Must've been the gas t*nk after all.

Ah... that's... that's comforting news.
I mean, for her.

Even so,

I'm afraid she's not gonna be
very happy to see me up there.

Why? Do you think that she blamed you
for her husband's death?

Well, I certainly do.

I mean, after all, I was the one that was
fighting David on this sale business.

Everybody knew that.
I figured some troublemaker...

...misunderstood and stole the box
out of my office.

Fortunately, I was wrong.

I can't tell you how good
that cigar box looks to me!

Now, if I can just get Doris to tell me
why she let me go.

Oh, I can tell you that.

You can?

Yeah, I think she fired you
for a couple of reasons.

Like those secret meetings that you
had with the competition last year.

Like that patent that you sold
to a friend very cheaply...

What are you talking about?
Those are lies!

Really?

Well, Mr.Quincy wrote'em all down
in a report to Mr.Buckner.

Well, then Quincy made it up himself.
They're simply not true.

You promised Aunt Dory never to say
anything about that.

What are you trying to do?
Cause more trouble?

Well, it doesn't make
any difference now.

I mean, everything's changed now,
isn't it? Because of this!

You know, and then there was
that thing with Miss Bishop...

Lieutenant, now, that,
that is private information.

Wait a minute.
What thing with Miss Bishop?

Now, I am warning you!

Well, you see, Miss Bishop and
Mr.Buckner, you know,

for the past year or so, they...

That is enough!

I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to hurt anybody.

Just I... I just don't know why we ca...
Why we can't... uh, sit here...

...sit here and...
and just sit here quietly...

...while we ride to the top of
the mountain.

You know something, Roger?
The truth is hard to find.

Sometimes... sometimes it's right in front
of you and you can't prove it.

What?

Do you know?

I had a whole theory worked out
how you could've fixed this box here.

Well, I mean, a high I.Q. thing...

...so that the expl*sive might not
be discovered.

It might get b*rned up with the gasoline.

Oh, yes!

I had a theory worked out how
you could've done all sorts of things!

Now...

Now, it turns out to be
just an ordinary cigar box.

Yeah!

Well, listen, now that...

Don't you think you should take it to
a laboratory and have it examined?

I mean, you've got all these
fancy theories.

What on earth for? The theories are
all wrong. That would only prove it.

Oh, no, that would make me
look foolish.

Mr.Logan,
would you care for a cigar?

No, thank you.

No?

And you know,
the funny thing is this, Roger,

this whole thing could've been
a plan of yours.

Like those reports of Mr.Quincy's.

You could've forged those
on his typewriter.

And the photograph between
Miss Bishop and your uncle.

Any good photographer could
trick that up.

Y'know, just do some double printing,
replace one figure with somebody else's.

And even Mr.Quincy's
new bank account.

That could have been opened
by anybody. Even you.

Yes, and Mr.Logan's cigars being stolen.

You see now, there you go, you're looking
at your watch again.

Would you do me a favor?
Would you please keep quiet?

Why?
It's only a dumb theory of mine.

I mean, it only goes to prove
how wrong I could've been.

You see, what I figured...

I figured there was two people
between you and the presidency.

Mr.Logan here and your uncle.
And now, there's just you.

Of course, you had to fire Miss Bishop.

I mean, an executive secretary,
she probably knows too much.

Everett, are you just gonna sit here
and let him just mumble on?

Why not, Roger?
It's all very interesting.

You... you are more of a fool
than he is!

The trouble is, even if I was right...

What? Will you just shut up?

Roger, what's bothering you?
What's the matter?

Shut up!

Oh, my...

We have got to get rid of that box!

Why? What for?

Give me that box!
Give me that box!

Aaagh, give me that...

Where did you get that...
that box of cigars, Lieutenant?

From your secretary.

My secretary? Hmm.

Yeah, she... she had three boxes.
I hope you didn't mind.

No, I don't suppose I do
in this case, but...

Oh, aren't those supposed to be
evidence, Lieutenant Columbo?

Yeah, I guess they are, it's a shame.

You...