02x29 - The Wrong Stuff

[bunniefuu]

SINGERS:
Meet George Jetson

His boy, Elroy

Daughter, Judy

Jane, his wife

ANNOUNCER [OVER INTERCOM]:
Welcome to Orbit City Space Center.

All you young, award-winning
science students

and your parents have been
invited here today

to witness history
in the making.

History in the making.

Boy, I'm sure glad
I won an award.

So are we, Elroy.

We're all very proud of you,
aren't we, George?

Sure. When are they gonna get
this big bozo off the ground?

JUDY:
Be patient, Daddy.

Remember, it's the first
space shuttle ever

to be manned by humanoids.

GEORGE:
Out to launch?

Those cornballs.

No wonder they're being
sent up into orbit.

Humanoids, they're dumb.

SPACELY [OVER RADIO]:
Jetson. George Jetson,
report in.

Uh-oh. It's Mr. Spacely.

I told him we were going
to a funeral.

It's liable to be yours.
Better check your watch.

Well, if this
is a cemetery, Jetson...

...they're sure
into large tombstones.

Uh, uh-- You see, my boy won
this scientific award, and....

I know all about it.

While you're living it up
at the launch...

...make sure you represent
the company.

An honor, sir.

Honor-schmonor.

Just sell some of our sprockets
to the space program.

That's like selling milk
to the Milky Way.

Elroy, are you bucking for
a place on the bread line?

- I was just telling the truth.
- Not in public.

- Anything else, sir?
- Two things, Jetson.

Your son has a big mouth...

...and your vacation without
pay started this morning.

Enjoy yourselves.

Good old Spacely.
He's all heart.

Too bad it's made of stone.

ANNOUNCER [OVER INTERCOM]:
Attention, please.

While we're making last-minute
technical adjustments

on the shuttle--

They can't get it off
the ground again.

--you're invited to see
some historical exhibits

from the space age.

John Glenn's sweat socks.

Wow, they must have dug up
one of those old Laundromats.

[CHITTERING]

The great-great-great-grandson

of the first chimp ever to ride
a rocket into space.

Isn't he the cutest?

Here, chimp. Here, fella.

An autographed picture? Awesome.

There goes another 100 bucks.
He's making a monkey out of me.

Speaking of pets,
anyone seen Astro?

JANE:
He was here just a minute ago.

I wouldn't want him
to miss the spaceshot.

Here, Astro. Here, Astro.

Astro? Astro. Here, boy.

[ROBOT CAT MEOWS]

It's one of those new models.

Forget it, Astro.
You're overmatched.

I'll get him, Dad.

Careful, Elroy. Stay away from
the launching site.

FAROUT [OVER INTERCOM]:
Attention, Mission Control
speaking.

All humanoids prepare
for liftoff.

This is Dr. Fritz Farout
in person.

Lunch break's over, humanoids.

Don't forget to wash your hands
before entering the shuttle.

There are no rest stops.

[SNORING]

Here, pussycat. Here, pussycat.

Bet he's inside.

I got you, I got you.

I ain't got you.

Astro, where are you?

Oh, he wouldn't be
dumb enough to...

He would.

Wow, just shows you
what 50 billion bucks will buy.

Astro?

Is this your idea of having fun?

Not anymore.

We can't see inside, doctor.
The camera's gone out.

Must be those
stupid humanoids again.

Everything they touch
goes kaput.

First Astro, now Elroy.
It's an epidemic.

I'll bet we'll find them
at the junk-food pod.

Oh, they're probably just
pigging out.

Off-limits, off-limits.
Two minutes to liftoff.

Our little boy's missing
and so is his pooch.

Too bad. Contact Lost and Found
on Jupiter.

Okay, wise guy...

...just remember whose taxes
are paying for your programming.

Whatever you broke, Astro,
we better fix it.

You fixed it.

It's a go, go, go, gentlemen.

Ready for countdown.

But, sir, the humanoid meters
are reading negative.

I suggest we scrub the mission.

And I suggest we scrub
your mouth out...

...with chicken soup,
you chicken.

Now, hear this. Either this
shuttle goes or you do.

Countdown.
Five, four, three, two--

Hold it. I'm the one
that says "one."

One! Liftoff!

Hey, guys, wake up,
we missed it again.

Big trouble.

Talk about trouble, Astro,
do you feel what I feel?

I feel sick.

Poor Elroy's missing
all the excitement.

Let's just hope we can find him.

Not to worry, honey.

He wouldn't go anywhere
without us.

We're in orbit, Astro.
I can't believe this.

Me neither, me neither.

FAROUT [OVER RADIO]:
Attention, humanoids.

You're entering
the Plutonian perimeter.

Remove retropacks
and report in.

Uh-oh. I might as well
get it over with.

Ahem. Space shuttle
to Mission Control.

Are you all sitting down?

You sure you haven't seen him?

He's about this tall, wags his
tail a lot, and has bad breath.

Forget Astro.
What about our son?

Honey, please, relax, will you?
I'm sure he's fine.

FAROUT [OVER INTERCOM]:
Achtung. Attention, please.

Will the Jetsons kindly report
to Mission Control?

We have some good news
and some bad news.

GEORGE: Can we start with
the good news, doctor?

Sure. That way, you'll have
something to look forward to.

Doctor, please, has this
"something" to do with our son?

You're getting close.
Take a look at this monitor.

[JUDY READS ON-SCREEN TEXT]

Sorry, wrong monitor.

CHUCK:
Let me be the one
to tell them, doctor.

Colonel Chuck Upchuck
at your service.

Ohh! Chuckie Upchuck,
the famous space hero.

Oh, he's too much.

Thank you, space lovers.
Now for the good news.

Our shuttle's right on schedule.

Congratulations.
Now what's the bad news?

ELROY [ON SCREEN]:
Hi, folks. Guess what?

We fixed the TV camera.
How do I look?

Our son's up there alone?
In space?

What am I, chopped liver?

Elroy, you come down here
this instant.

CHUCK:
Not just yet, Mrs. Jetson.

What do you mean?
That's my son up there.

CHUCK:
He belongs to history now,
Mrs. Jetson.

Welcome to our
Juveniles in Space program.

According to our read out...

...your son will be
the first astronaut...

...ever to reach puberty
on Mars.

How's it going up there,
Captain Jetson?

A-okay. Reading you loud
and clear.

Loud and clear.

And whatever you do, make sure
that you don't touch that...

- ...thingamajig.
- The abort button, colonel.

It could blast them
into an unknown galaxy.

CHUCK:
Of course, the abort button.

George, this is crazy.

You're his father,
can't you do something?

What's to do, Jane?
He's already up there.

They'll have him back down
in time for dinner.

Calculations indicate that
splashdown should be sometime...

...within the next five years.

So he'll be a little late
for dinner.

Five years? What will he do
about school?

I'm writing a note
to his teacher...

...so he'll be excused
from finals.

I don't know what you're talking
about, any of you.

I want him down now.

She wants, she wants.

What she's going to get
is five years.

JANE: Now.

- Tomorrow's his birthday.
- We planned a big party for him.

He would have been 9.

No problem. You can always send
him his presents.

On the other hand,
maybe a card will do.

ANNOUNCER [OVER PA]:To all you
worried parents everywhere...

...be assured,
as the Jetsons are...

...that our young travelers
are safe and happy.

And so in its second day,
the space shuttle...

...with little Elroy Jetson
and his dog, Astro...

...enters the
intergalactical panicsphere.

The panicsphere?
Think of it, Jane.

Our son is seeing things
that man has never seen before.

Yes, but I still wish he
remembered to take his pajamas.

What will I do
with the cake I baked?

Add five candles
and put it on ice.

It'll be ready
when he comes home.

Well, I haven't given up hope.

Maybe he'll drop in
and surprise us.

[ORBITTY SPEAKS GIBBERISH]

- Hello.
- Not you, Orbitty.

- Yuck!
- Orbitty, that's disgusting.

Uh-huh.

MARSHA:
Pardon me,
Mr. and Mrs. Jetson...

...I'm Marsha Meteorite
from Nebula News...

...the network of the stars.

We're here to do
a story on your son.

Wow, these people
don't fool around.

Tell us all about
your heroic young son.

Well, as Elroy's
hard-working dad...

...I've endeavored
to set an example...

...of courage, perseverance,
and modesty.

- Talk about corny.
- Shh, shh!

Let your father be himself.

Of course, the boy's
always been very talented.

I don't know where he gets it.

[SINGS]I want a son
just like the son

That flew off into space

Elroy's not the only one
out in space.

Alright, alright,
interview's over.

I'm Elroy's manager.
Everybody out.

Mr. Spacely, how did
you get into the act?

Somebody has to protect our
young hero from the media.

Shoo, b*at it.

But, sir, what about
freedom of the press?

For $2 million, you can have
all the freedom

of the press you want.

Now am-scray.

So much for exploitation.
Now let's get down to business.

My new junior sprocket line...

...in honor of Orbit City's
newest hero.

Sir, aren't you jumping
the g*n a little?

Elroy's still on the shuttle.

And guess who's going to be
my vice president...

...in charge of production,
George.

Hey, now let's get
these sprockets moving

while the little rascal's
still up there.

Shame on you,
exploiting a juvenile astronaut.

She's absolutely right, Jetson.

With your son up there...

...money is the last thing you
should be thinking of.

So I'll do the thinking
for all of us.

ELROY: I don't know about you,
Astro, but I'm getting homesick.

ASTRO:
Me too.

Yeah, the thrill is gone.

All I can think about now...

...is a big slice of Mom's
chocolate-uranium pie.

Mm!

FAROUT [OVER RADIO]:
Attention, please.
Mission Control calling.

There's been a change of plans.
Due to a cut in our budget...

...and repeated calls
from mothers everywhere...

...splashdown will be
at 0900 tomorrow morning.

0900 means morning?

And all these years,
I thought it meant midnight.

Now you know why you're not
doing commercials, colonel.

Tomorrow morning?
You hear that, Astro?

We'll be home
by tomorrow morning.

Yippee!

COMPUTER:
Abort. Abort the mission.

Oh, no, you hit
the abort button.

COMPUTER:
First stage alert.
Launch nose cone.

The nose cone?
That's where we are.

Nice knowing you, Astro.

They're heading towards
the black bowl.

The black bowl?
Captain Jetson is doomed.

Not if he plays the game
by the rules.

Attention, Elroy Jetson.

Here are the rules
for Space Trivia.

JUDY:
It's a super dinner, Mom.

JANE: One of Elroy's favorites.
Knackwurst capsules and beans.

Not to worry, kids. It won't be
long till he's home with us.

Five years goes pretty fast.

And at least
we can keep track of him.

MAN [ON TV]: Unfortunately,
that's the only picture...

...we have at the moment since
the shuttle's disappearance.

Disappearance?

I baked a bigger cake.

[CRYING]

Gee, is it something I said?

GEORGE: Please, Dr. Farout,
no more good news and bad news.

I don't think we can stand it.

Tell you what,
to make it easier for you...

...I'll start with the bad news.

Elroy and Astro are headed
for the black bowl.

The black bowl? Isn't that a
phenomena commonly associated...

...with the
interplanetary time warp?

FAROUT:
No, but you're close.

Life can't be sustained
in the black bowl.

None of our astronauts
have ever gone there.

Oh, if only I could be sure
they were safe.

Believe it or not, I'd like to
see my little brother again.

Yeah, and woof-woof.

Maybe Dr. Farout has some news.

Between his good news
and bad news...

...it's always the worse news.

Wait a minute, folks.

My intergalactic receptors
are getting something.

- What is it, Rosie?
[ROSIE] - Somebody's lost.

Do we know anybody named
Dr. Livingstone?

GEORGE: Sorry, Jane.
I thought the movie would help.

It might have, dear.

But not the 15th rerun
of Gone With the Solar Wind.

I just don't wanna see a soul...

...until Elroy and Astro
are safely home again.

SPACELY:
Surprise!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

What's all this about,
Mr. Spacely?

We've heard
from Mission Control.

Elroy and Astro have just
splashed down, safe and sound.

They've escaped
from the black bowl?

My boy's alive. Oh, I can hardly
wait to hear his story.

You don't have to. Read this.

[JANE READS ON-SCREEN TEXT]

Did you ghostwrite this,
Mr. Spacely?

Not only that,
I just sold the movie rights.

Does Elroy get something
out of that?

He gets to see the movie.

The Wrong Stuff.

I play his father.

FAROUT:
May we come in?

GEORGE:
Certainly. But where's our son?

He'll be right along,
Mr. Jetson.

Yes, it just takes him
a little longer than us.

He's not hurt, is he?
He's alright?

Oh, he's just fine.
For a boy his age.

The time warp
has somewhat interfered...

...with your
child's maturity mechanism.

To put it another way,
his metabolism is kaput.

What are you talking about?

ALL:
Elroy!

Howdy, Mom. Howdy, Dad.

What's new?

You mean, what's old?

He's turned
into a doddering old fool.

What? Is that you, Astro?

[BARKS]

Who said you can't teach
an old dog new tricks?

I hope you're satisfied.
Do you know what you've done?

Of course. We've made you
the proud parent

of a senior citizen.

The planet's oldest hero.

Somebody's gotta do something.

We were lucky to bring him back.

Mom, does this mean
I can't have my birthday party?

Of course you can, dear. We'll
just buy a few more candles.

About 80 should do it.

If they film his life story,
it'll have to be a short.

Leave it to the government to
deprive me of a gold mine.

Elroy, I heard you were home.

Uh-oh. I told you not to play
with Mom's hormone cream.

[SCREEN BEEPS]

Jetson, I'm from space
program's medical lab.

We'd like to run
a study on your son.

You better hurry.
He's on borrowed time.

Exactly. We want to know...

...whether he got that way
from smoking or worrying.

I'll handle this.

You know exactly
how he got this way.

He's a kid who went
from 9 to 90 in two days...

...and you're dying to get
your hands on him.

The cause of science
could be advanced by years.

Ten million bucks for the
senile kid. Take it or leave it.

That's a high price.

Not if we include
Rip van Winkle here.

Hold on. We didn't raise Elroy
to be a guinea pig.

He could spend the rest of his
life hooked up to some machine.

True, but look
at the positive side.

How long can he live?

That's Mr. Spacely for you.
He's got a way with words.

GEORGE:
"Space lab.
Welcome old geezers."

Our Elroy, a geezer?

Whoever thought
the day would come.

There's the bright side.

He can skip his freshman year
in college.

Don't forget the $5 million
from the lab.

- I thought it was 10.
- You should only live that long.

Where are those old fogies?

This will be our last run
for a while.

I'll miss you, Judy.

I'm George.

Anything you need
before we check in?

No. Might strain myself.

ELROY:
"Centrifugal force chamber."

What's so dangerous about that?

At our age, everything's
dangerous.

[LAUGHING]

[CHUCKLES]

It's that stupid feline again.

He's had it.

Come back, Astro.
Stay out of that chamber.

Astro, you know the trouble
that tin cat got us into before.

You're making me old
before my time.

I got you. I got you.

ELROY:
Astro!

Believe me, these tests
will eventually benefit...

...all of mankind.

Right now, just worry about us.
You've got the money?

All here. Wish I could say
the same for the patients.

They were right behind us.

Poor old things.
They could have wandered off.

If Elroy sells
his body to science...

...I'll sue him
for every last cent.

[GIGGLING AND BARKING]

- Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
- Son.

Oh, Elroy,
now you're really back.

Nothing's changed.
I'm still chopped liver.

Oh, and you too, Astro.

No fair. He's discovered
the fountain of youth.

It's Astro's fault. He ran into
the centrifugal force chamber.

These new rides are the wildest.

Fascinating.
The energy from the chamber...

...must have set
their aging process in reverse.

Really? Maybe I could take
a trial spin.

I'll take the money now.

But they're no longer old.

A deal's a deal.

The deal was for an old man
and his old dog.

The deal was
for cash on delivery.

I'll throw in George
for no extra charge.

[LAUGHING]

- Astro, no.
- George, you better stop them.

Relax, Jane. What kind of
trouble could they get into?

MAN [OVER PA]: Attention.
The first probe...

...into the center of Saturn
is preparing for liftoff.

No!

Don't worry.
We stopped them just in time.