01x01 - Pilot

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

These things will stop a b*llet?

No.

They will not sh**t you
in a public place.

What a relief.

These are for knives.

Great.

- [SPEAKING JAPANESE]

When we sit down with them,

you're gonna order a black coffee.

What's this guy's rank?

- [SPEAKING JAPANESE]

Speak as little as possible.
Let them do the talking.

- [SPEAKING JAPANESE]

- [SPEAKING JAPANESE]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪ ♪

[GLASSES CLINKING]

♪ ♪

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[LIGHTER SNAPS SHUT]

- [DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[BRAKES HISSING]

♪ ♪

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

♪ ♪

Um, okay, did everyone practice
their assignment?

ALL: Yes.

Uh, Mrs. Morimoto,
how about you go first?

- Hello.
- Hello.

- Is this Mr. Adelstein?
- Speaking.

This is Mrs. Morimoto. I was won...

Wondering.

Wondering if you come to dinner tonight.

- We would love to.
- Okay.

Thank you very much.
Okay, that's it for today.

I'll see you guys next week.

Arigato gozaimashita.

♪ ♪

[SHOUTING]

♪ ♪

[SPEAKING JAPANESE]

♪ ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪ ♪

Hai.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪ ♪

[LAUGHTER]

♪ ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[GROANS]

[THUMPING ELECTRONIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[CROWD CHEERING]

Hey, Jake!

- Oh!
- Hey!

What's up?
I thought you were going home.

I am. Just got done packing.

Hey, if this don't work out,

come to Austin and say hi.

- I will.
- All right.

♪ ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[PEOPLE SPEAKING JAPANESE OVER TV]

♪ Oh ♪

[PEARL JAM'S "RELEASE"]

♪ Oh ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Oh, dear Dad ♪

♪ Can you see me now? ♪

♪ ♪

♪ I am myself ♪

♪ Like you somehow ♪

♪ I'll ride the wave ♪

♪ Where it takes me ♪

♪ I'll hold the pain ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Release me ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ Oh, I ♪

♪ ♪


- [SPEAKING JAPANESE]

[PAPERS RUSTLING]

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[GROANS]

♪ ♪

[EXHALES HEAVILY]

♪ ♪

[SIGHS]

[CLOCK TICKING]

[CLOCK TICKING]

[SPEAKING JAPANESE]

[PAPERS RUSTLING]

[FOREBODING MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[PEOPLE SPEAKING JAPANESE OVER TV]

[PHONE RINGING]

Huh? Oh.

[BANGING ON CEILING]


Hai.

Hai.

[PEN CLICKING]

- [SPEAKING JAPANESE]

Hai.

You wish to be
a crime reporter in Japan.

Why?

My father is a coroner,
and he took me to crime scenes,

showed me bodies, m*rder files.

I found trying to reason
what actually happened

from forensic evidence fascinating.

Your written Japanese is excellent.

Thank you.

So how do you explain this?

I did not pay close enough attention.

Even with what you missed,
your score was high.

The Tokyo "Meicho Shimbun"
has million readers a day,

the greatest newspaper in Japan,

the best newspaper in the world.

No foreigner has worked here ever.

I understand.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER, PHONES RINGING]

♪ ♪

- [SPEAKING JAPANESE]

I'm not your friend,

so you're about
a thousand hours too early

in this relationship to call me Emi.

As your superior and your senpai,

you will pay me the courtesy
of using Maruyama-san.

Are we clear?

Yes, totally.

You think because you're a foreigner,

the rules are different?

Not in this company and not with me.

- [SPEAKING JAPANESE]

Huh?


- [SPEAKING JAPANESE]

- Kanpai!
- ALL: Kanpai!

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ ♪

Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh.

[PAN SIZZLING]

Hey, Jake!

What?

Mos-sad.

Everyone here thinks
you're a spy for the Israelis.

[LAUGHS]

Mos-sad.

I'm from Mos-souri.

Okay, James Bond.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

These guys are all in.

Super hard-core.

She's gotta pour drinks all night?

Yeah, that's f*cked up.

How much did you study for the test?

For the entrance exam,
how much did you study?

- Who studied?
- You had to study?

[LAUGHTER]

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

♪ ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[PHONE RINGING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]


- [SPEAKING JAPANESE]

- [SPEAKING JAPANESE]
Who's that guy?

Miyamoto.

Prostitution, weapons.

Badass.

They say he loves chickens.

Chicks.

Chicks?

Yeah.

Not chickens?

Trust me.

[WADA CONTINUES SPEAKING JAPANESE]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

The dead body by the bridge.

The home address
is in the number one report.

Write it up, characters, end of day.

[PHONES RINGING]

[SIREN WAILING]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER, PHONES RINGING]

♪ ♪

[PRINTER WHIRRING]

♪ ♪

Hai. Hai.

[SIGHS]

- Hai.

- Hai.
- _

I'm sorry, I... I don't mean
to get you in trouble.

I can take care of myself, thank you.

- I just think...
- You don't get to think.

You will follow the rules and
write what you are told to write,

like everyone else, or you will be gone.

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

No, I'm not gonna regurgitate

the police report word for word.

- Regurgitate?
- Yeah, that's not reporting.

So what did you do?

Oh, I went to the stabbed guy's house,

and, uh, I went through his mail.

What are you gonna do,
call the mail police?

- Maybe.
- Did you find anything?

There were bunch of overdue
bills from a loan company.

So the guy was clearly
in debt to this company.

I copied down the logo, the address.

You recognize this logo?

BOTH: Nope.

I went to the address,
and there was nothing there.

Like, the loan company was gone.

- So no story?
- After all.

Not a complete story
but a beginning of a story,

so I wrote it up, handed it in...

Got wrung out for not copying down

word for word a f*cking...

[BAG THUDS]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[DOG BARKING]

♪ ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Miyamoto-san. Jake.

I'm a crime reporter
for the "Meicho," and, uh...

No, no, I... Can I buy you a drink?

Why?

I'm trying to figure out
how reporters work with police,

and maybe you could show me the ropes.

Ropes?

Yeah. [SPEAKING JAPANESE]

- It's a...
- Show you the ropes?

Yeah.

[LAUGHTER]

- Miyamoto-san...
- Uh, I like gaijin

but only with tits.

Oi, oi!

Tell me, do you know
how to pick up gaijin girls?

Absolutely.

I have to say,

I find your dress, uh, extra flattering?

No, no, no. Extraordinarily flattering.

Extraordinarily.

And it's got to be
sophisticated, smooth.

Just roll it out.

I have to say,

I find your dress

- extraordinarily flattering.

- And this sh*t works?
- Yes.

Western girls, they like a guy
who's flirtatious, debonair.

Trust me, I know what I'm talking about.

Okay.

[SMOOTH LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ I show you ♪

[URINAL FLUSHES]

[URINAL FLUSHES]

[DOOR CLICKS OPEN AND SHUT]

♪ You ♪

♪ Are my ♪

♪ Lucky ♪

♪ Star ♪

[APPLAUSE]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[MEN ARGUING INDISTINCTLY IN JAPANESE]

[SINGING "SWEET CHILD
O' MINE" IN JAPANESE]

♪ ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Sweet child o' mine ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, sweet love of mine ♪

♪ ♪

[SINGING IN JAPANESE]

♪ ♪

♪ Whoa, oh, oh ♪

♪ Sweet child o' mine ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, sweet love of mine ♪

[APPLAUSE]

♪ ♪

That was really great.

You were really good up there.

Thanks, I try.

Do you wanna have a drink?

Sure.

Yeah. _

Your Japanese is very good.

Thank you.

Why are you hanging out with cops?

Because I'm a reporter for the "Meicho."

- No. Really?
- Mm-hmm.

An American.

Well, what do you report on?

Uh, I'm on the police b*at.

Hmm.

So stories about guys like that?

You never know.

Really, what do you report on?

You know, you never know
who you're gonna talk to,

where you're gonna go,
what you're gonna see.

Every day is different.

Is this what you wear to work every day?

No, I... The paper's got

these strict regulations
on what you have to wear,

so I wear a suit and tie and, uh, so...

I'm trying really hard to get it right,

you know, to fit
into their system, which...

Is mentally tyrannical,

which is not what I expected
from a newspaper, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah, I know how rigid
corporate life can be.

So why are you doing this?

Well, I wanna report
on what really happens.

That's it.

That's...

I mean, you know,

maybe someday make
a small piece of history.

So is it gonna work?

So far, it seems like

everything I've touched, I've...

Screwed up.

But giving up and going home
is not an option.

You know what I mean?

I know exactly what you mean.

Where are you from?

Saitama, originally,

but I've been in Tokyo
for the past few years.

Well, but before that,
where are you from?

Well, that's a second
bottle question, honey.

See, how this works is,

the more you buy, the more we talk.

And the better you buy,
the better I talk.

But if there's no more buying...

[MAN SINGING IN JAPANESE]

I don't have enough
for a whole nother bottle.

Well, that's a shame.

See you another time.

[SOFT LOUNGE MUSIC PLAYING]

Another drink.

♪ ♪

[KELLY ROWLAND'S "MOTIVATION" PLAYING]

♪ Oh, lover ♪

♪ Don't you dare slow down ♪

♪ ♪

♪ Go longer ♪

♪ You can last more rounds ♪

♪ Push harder ♪

♪ Go, go, go ♪

♪ Oh, lover ♪

So, Miyamoto-san...

Tell me, how do reporters
and police work, huh?


Here's what you need to understand.

There's no m*rder in Japan.

[CHUCKLES] Wait, what?

- How is that...

How is that a...


Huh?

Hmm?

[THE RAVEONETTES'
"ALY, WALK WITH ME" PLAYING]

♪ ♪

♪ Aly, walk with me in the summer ♪

♪ Aly, walk with me ♪

♪ ♪

Hi. This is my friend Tatiana.

Hi. How are you?

♪ Aly, walk with me ♪

♪ Aly walks with me in my dreams ♪

I have to say,

I find your dress
extraordinarily flattering.

Thank you.

What do you mean
there's no m*rder in Japan?

That doesn't make any sense.

I forgot, your English is not so good.

[STILTED] There is no m*rder in Japan.

So then what was that stabbing,
that guy in the street?

Could be manslaughter.
Could be accidental death.

But the key is, unless you
have to deal with a witness,

it's never a m*rder.

Since when do you need a witness

to tell you a m*rder is a m*rder?

'Cause you report it
and we can't solve it,

our clearance rate goes down.

How does that get me a story to write?

♪ Aly walk with me in the summer ♪

[PAGER BEEPING]

[SIRENS WAILING]

[BREATHING RAPIDLY]

[SHOUTING IN JAPANESE]

[CROWD SCREAMING]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪ ♪

Two dead men, two logos. The same logo.

You already have a story to write.

But there's linkage.
This story is bigger.

The guy who set himself
on fire in Kabukicho.

We covered that. It's already in print.

There's more to that story.

You do the story you're assigned.

- Okay.
- No. Is that clear?

And only that story. Understood?

Totally. Yes, understood.

[TENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

Oi!

- [SPEAKING JAPANESE]

♪ ♪


- [SPEAKING JAPANESE]

- [SPEAKING JAPANESE]

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

♪ ♪

[INTENSE MUSIC]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[SHOUTS]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[SHOUTS]

[RHYTHMIC CLAPPING]

[APPLAUSE]

♪ ♪