01x03 - La Table de Breccan

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Kaamelott". Aired: January 3, 2005 –; October 31, 2009.*
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Camelot's King Arthur and his knights seek the Holy Grail.
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01x03 - La Table de Breccan

Post by bunniefuu »

What's that new craze
about getting a table built?

There's already one
in the dining room.

This time it's a round table.

So the Breton Knights
can gather around it.

Anyway, better get used to it, because
starting now we'll call ourselves

"Knights of the Round Table".

"Knights of the Round Table" ?

Thank god we're not
getting a buffet built.

No, no, it's fine...

It's fine.

(sighs)

It's fine, but I pictured stone.

Sire, we talked about stone!

I can't take a stone that's a toise
and a half tall up a spiral staircase!

Eh, I'm not a magician!

Wood isn't unpleasant.

Also I gave you quality!

Imagine there's a banquet,
if five or six ladies

want to take a stroll on it,
it won't budge!

No, no, that won't
really fit the vibe.

Oh well, me, I don't know the details.

I don't really mind the wood,
it's more about the leather.

Feels a bit like a sewing atelier.

Yeah, yeah, you're not wrong.

Leather's leather.

Leather lasts across ages,
borders, trends.

Also, I didn't choose
rotten cow, look!

That's luxury tanning!
Put together with crochet hooks!

You're looking at hours of labor!

Nah, we just need to get used to it.

Be careful when you're eating, though.

Because for now I treated it
with pig oil to waterproof it,

but if get stained with
meat juice, it's ruined.

We won't eat on it either.

Well, me, I don't know
the details... That's...

It's exactly the right
height for writing!

Ideal for overlooking the page...

Yeah, a shame, uh?
That you won't be writing on it?

What do you mean?

No, you're standing
behind the stand, over there.

Hang on... There's a
table and seats

and I should take
all the notes standing up?

That's how it is.
No one writes on this table.

I don't want to pry, but... if...

If you don't eat on it,
don't write on it

or dance on it, why do
you need such a table?

It's a bit complicated...

Sir Arthur received a message
from the Lady of the Lake.

She commanded he build
a legendary table

around which he should unite
all the Knights in Britain

to prepare...
The Quest for the Grail!

- There.
- Basically.

Well, well, the Quest for... erm.

- It's a bit complicated.
- Yes...

Don't worry, even we
don't quite understand it.

But, that means there'll be
top folks around here, right?

Sure, yes...

The most powerful Lords of the island.

Yes, and humble Knights as well.

Anyway, we'll have
a bit of everything.

A bit of everything,
but still Knights?

I mean... Doesn't sound
like a bumpkin reunion.

No, no slobs searching
for the Grail!

Unless... It changed?

So... Would it bother you...
If I put my label on it?

- What for?
- Publicity, for God's sake!

If some Clan leader sits
their ass under there,

and thinks it's opulent?


The day they'll need a
custom-made buffet or bed...

They'll know where to find me.

Hang on, a label
will look super ugly!

No, I'll make it tiny, give me...
Erm... Ten minutes.

Five minutes.

(engraving sounds)

All done!

"Breccan & Sons design, Ireland."

Gotta give ourselves a
little push from time to time.

I understand.

By the way, does he have
everything he needs for the room?

Because I could
make a small rack

for the guys to hang their weapons,

or a nice cabinet for their coats.

Well, they don't have coats
since they're all wearing armor,

and they have to wear their weapons.

It's pretty strict here, right?

And for the bedroom, does
he have all he needs?

(swoosh and interjection)
How beautiful!

Ah, you're here.
So, there it is. What do you think?

What do I think about what?

No, hang on, two seconds.
I'm not talking to you, it's...

Uh? Who else, then?

Although I had pictured stone.

Ah! There! See?
Stone would have been nice.

- Are you talking to me, now?
- Well, yes, who else?

Anyway I can't
even help him out,

I just delivered four hundred
dolmens at Winchester!

I'm sorry! Also, the spiral
staircase... such a pain.

I see great things happening
around this table, Arthur!

Yeah, we only need
to gather the guys, now!

By the way, how do I
bring up the Grail thing?

So that everyone
gets the right idea?

'Cause, for now I've
only mentioned it

to two or three people
here and there...

Dudes seem lost, you know.

It'll come, in time!

Anyway, shoo, i'm going.

- Eh?
- Yes?

Congrats on the table.

(swoosh)

LADY OF THE LAKE:
Eh! Be careful with leather!

No, it's pretty, but it gets messy.
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