Arturus!
- What?
- Come quickly! There's trouble!
Glaucia's here!
We have to get out!
What's he doing here?
Is that him yelling?
- He's laying into the girl.
- What girl?
The other girl. Mani's girlfriend.
Licinia?
Get out, both of you.
If he sees you I'm done for.
- Can't you do something?
- Such as?
Do I just let them b*at up Licinia?
He's a superior! The guys
won't do a thing to stop him.
Get out before you're seen!
It's all you can do!
Arturus can leave, I'm going in!
- No! Stop!
- Mani! Stop!
Look what we've caught here!
I thought this was a classy do!
So, Madam...?
You invite soldiers to your soirées?
Soldiers with no passes?
That's strictly against the rules.
I was going to screw this tart,
but maybe I'll be having
it off with the boss instead!
Hey! You hear me? Aconia?
I've wanted to ride you
for years!
Maybe now's the moment!
What are you doing? Leaving?
See what you've got us into?
How many lashes will I get
because of you?
Go on. At least save yourself.
YEARS BEFORE KAAMELOTT
BOOK VI
Get him out of here.
THAT MORNING
And his stuff.
Come on, get moving.
Move along!
This isn't a street show.
Up you get!
He's still there?
Are you going to move him?
Falerius!
We'll be back.
Move your junk or you can eat it!
Let's go.
Come on, ladies.
You'll see them next leave.
Move along...
"According
to our spies' latest report,
"the enemy is preparing to att*ck
from the West.
" weeks ago
they att*cked from the East.
" If those idiots were to join forces
"just for once
"and att*ck from both sides
"they'd take back Britain
in a single wave.
" For how many more decades
"will we act out this farce?
"Them in the North,
" us in the South,
and Hadrian's Wall in between,
"drawing
it's immutable demarcation line.
" Here, strategy is of no use.
" m*llitary rules cease to apply
when the enemy's untrained.
"They are not driven
by rebellion or patriotism.
"These enemies know nothing
but courage born of pride,
"vexation and bad faith.
" I have decided today
"to offer their chief a vast sum
of money for his word not to att*ck.
"Their tradition dictates
that a chief cannot break an oath.
" I'm ashamed to confront
"the enemy's slings with
the deceitful spear of cupidity,
" but in Britain,
"shame flies up never to fall
"on me,
"the Legion,
"or on Rome."
Fancy snacking
on a little something?
What?
You didn't eat a thing yesterday.
I could fix you up something
with the leftovers.
Have something tonight.
Plotius emptied the snares.
We had a good catch.
Right.
Hey, guys!
Guess what we're eating tonight!
Hare.
This time enough's enough!
I think we've been
more than patient, Sallustius.
I hope you realise.
He realises nothing.
The Empire despises us.
He doesn't see it.
No, he sails different waters.
Don't forget,
Lucius Sillius Sallustius
takes orders
from Caesar himself.
Let me tell you...
I'd have done better breaking a leg
than becoming a Senator.
It can still be arranged.
So, I...
I think I've grasped the concept.
- In short, you're not happy.
- In short, no.
We've lost Africa,
we've lost Asia Minor.
One day we'll lose our pants
and no one cares!
And Britain? What about Britain?
Oh, no. Not Britain.
Britain is the last straw!
How long have we slogged away
in Britain
unable to cross Hadrian's wall?
- Since it went up. years.
- years!
Looking like jerks!
They laugh at us in Ravenna
and Byzantium...
All right, I readily admit
they laugh at you all over
the Empire
and think you're all jerks.
On the other hand, are you sure
it's because of Britain?
I'm just asking...
What are you saying?
Let's go!
Britain is a sign.
If we made some progress
with Britain,
if we really had it in our grasp...
All of it.
Not just the bottom half.
What is it with Britain today?
- Britain's small.
- And we've already got half of it.
Just a small conquest, Sallustius.
Half a conquest. So we can
hold our heads up in the street.
It's not much, Britain.
That way,
we could carry on supporting you.
- Coming?
- Where are you going?
Nowhere.
I wanted us all to sweep out.
If I go on my own I look silly. No?
I'm fed up with you two.
URBAN MILITIA BARRACKS
Manilius,
why did you skip training?
My ankle was swollen from patrol.
A swollen ankle. Is it better?
If I don't move it.
No need.
weeks confined to barracks!
I see...
I've got already for the food.
- The food? What food?
- That I stole.
Who gave you weeks?
Procyon.
- You want jail too?
- Aulus Milonius Procyon.
- He didn't say.
- Maybe he changed his mind.
Sure...
Stay there, you two.
I'll go and ask him.
What did you do?
I refused to hit Papinius in training.
You missed it.
Why?
Because I didn't want to hit him.
Why not? If it's an order?
Because I don't want to.
It's not really up to you.
You're in no position
to give me advice.
- Mani?
- What is it?
You're wanted.
Take the roof. The yard's busy.
- Who wants me? Licinia?
- Yeah.
I'm sick of playing Cupid for you.
You'll get me caught one day.
Hold this for me.
Why?
It stinks.
I can't see her in this.
Your tunic's not all that stinks!
Luventius will be back.
You can't go.
You'll tell him something.
You're here for this morning?
I don't like fighting
the other guys, but...
But what?
Orders are orders...
Luventius!
Yes, he gave you weeks...
Where is he?
He had to go because of his ankle.
You're kidding me?
- And this?
- He left his tunic.
- Why?
- I don't know.
He won't see daylight for a while.
Falerius!
Find me Manilius, on the double!
- Why did you question my orders?
- I'm sorry.
We don't want to fight our pal?
You can't think in battle.
You're told to fight, you fight.
I wouldn't be up against Papinius.
Are you done? Whoever it is,
you do as you're told!
- But a punch to the windpipe...!
- So?
It can save your bacon!
- You have to practise.
- Not on Papinius.
Bollocks to Papinius.
Papinius doesn't exist.
He's nothing, he's anonymous.
You focus on the windpipe
and go for it.
The other guy can no longer swallow.
He hits the deck, it's over!
I'm not going to k*ll Papinius.
It's not always fatal, you cretin!
Sorry, I can't do it.
I'm sick of the sight of you.
Your strategy's great
because you read a lot,
but you think too much
for a soldier.
What are we going to do with you?
Get out.
Tell your pal
he's got days in solitary.
Teach him to leave here
without permission.
Licinia!
- At last!
- It's hard to get out!
For me too! It's been a week.
What happened?
I've been confined to barracks.
- For the whole week?
- That's right.
But why?
I got caught stealing food.
For you!
- When can you get out?
- They haven't said.
I have to go,
or I'll be shut in for a year!
Find a way, Mani. It's getting hard.
- You steal food?
- A bit, but the traders know me.
You're not on the game?
No, but if I don't find a solution
it's a possibility!
- Wait!
- There's a patrol!
Sallustius... You're not
taking them seriously?
Give them Britain today, tomorrow
they'll want something else.
They're troublemakers.
It's worrying me, Servius.
It's worrying me.
They've no idea about politics,
defence or anything else.
Desticius
is only interested in money.
Flaccus is drunk all day.
Without their support,
I'll lose my authority
when Caesar dies.
I need those morons
to maintain
executive Roman authority.
But it costs me, by Minerva.
It costs me.
Look! Lurco.
Hadn't you finished at the Senate?
It was just the interval?
Tell me, Sallustius,
does the Sword of Kings
mean anything to you?
The Sword of Kings?
No.
It's a legend from Britain.
An old sword
stuck in a rock that only
one "chosen by the gods" can draw.
Why does every leader we send in
fail to federate the country?
- Because they're Roman?
- No.
They don't have the Sword of Kings.
They don't care if the king's
Roman, Sassanide
or Chinese.
What counts is that
he has the Sword.
Get hold of that sword
you can put whoever you like
in charge.
Whoever you like.
Think about it!
I sh*t off just then,
but I like the idea of
saying something enigmatic and then
buggering off.
It's dramatic.
Tell me...
Is there any news from Britain?
Well is there or not?
If there is, I don't read it.
What do you think
about this legend stuff?
I don't believe
a word that Lurco says.
Try and get some information.
Information?
- How?
- Find a Briton.
A piece of cake!
Of course it is. Look
at our glorious cosmopolitan city.
A crossroads of civilisations.
A proud hostess
to spellbound tribes.
They say there are no real Romans
any more.
Find me a Briton.
About time!
- Don't dawdle when you're called!
- I didn't!
- You've got a pass for tonight?
- Yes.
Not any longer.
Party at the Villa Aconia.
They need security.
You're on the door.
I thought you wanted us to go?
And drink, yes. Not as security.
Laughing boy's back.
What did you forget, cretin?
Ave, Publius Servius Capito.
- Did you ask to see me?
- No.
I didn't send flowers, either.
- Can we help?
- I want to see the register.
The register? For the barracks?
Since I'm here...
Well...
- Do we have one?
- It's possible.
There was one when I left.
Up to date.
That was years ago!
Things have changed since then.
- The register...
- We rarely use it.
Especially if you can't find it.
- Tell me what you need?
- The register.
- Get going.
- Where?
Get the register!
- Tell me!
- No.
- Where's this villa?
- I'm not saying.
Caius, you can get me in
to a rich people's party.
Don't be a bastard. Where is it?
- You've got no pass.
- So what? I'll sneak out.
There'll be loads of food there.
Game, bread rolls, desserts...
You'll get me into sh*t!
They've taken your pass.
What more can they do?
- Whip me?
- No! Where is it?
I found it straight away.
Lucky, huh?
- Found what?
- Stay on the subject.
It's in the villa district?
- What, more?
- Yes or no?
Yes. It's a villa!
- Has it got columns?
- Not saying.
- Is it big or small?
- Not saying.
- Not many have columns.
- Did I say it did?
- Doesn't it?
- Yes!
You bastard...
Has it got a blue fresco?
- When was it?
- The start of my post, years ago.
Two boys of or .
One of them was from Britain.
Go and find him.
Move it!
- When did you stop using it?
- When...?
You didn't know where it was.
You don't use it!
When did you stop?
We never started.
We need to know where you're from.
- From?
- Where you were born! Quickly!
Don't be scared. Answer.
Syracuse.
Don't change the subject!
Is Syracuse in Britain or not?
Who else arrived with you?
Of your age?
Arturus, maybe.
We're years apart.
Piss off and get him!
He should be on the page
before or after.
- He isn't?
- No.
It's the mice. Look,
other pages have been chewed away.
- Registers get locked up.
- Really?
Like arseholes
who don't do their job.
Here he is.
Tell us where you're from.
- Pardon?
- You came from where?
The dormitories.
Where were you born?
You're not in here!
Go easy!
Were you born in Britain?
Britain? I don't know.
You don't know?
I've always been here.
Not always.
We don't have a maternity wing!
You were born elsewhere.
You remember nothing?
A few things. A man with a beard.
A man with a beard?
- Tall with a beard. It's vague.
- Your father's name?
- I don't know.
- Your name?
- Arturus.
- Arturus what?
Arturus. That's all.
Yes...
I think I came by boat.
By boat?
That's how you'd get here
from Britain.
Right. Come with me.
- Where?
- No questions! Do as you're told.
Come on.
Ave, Servius.
Don't hesitate
if you've anything else to ask me!
What am I? A hotel?
A night or two.
I don't ask often.
Too right!
I'm not your sister!
If it's not possible...
Leave it to me, darling. Calm down.
She just arrived,
she only knows me.
Why don't you put her up, then?
No thanks! I don't know him!
You don't know me, either.
- We know each other, sweetie.
- I'm not your "sweetie" yet!
OK... It's a bit complicated.
And this isn't?
My place is too small for a table!
Good job I've no food!
Put my friend up
and I'll get you a piece of lamb.
- What sort of piece?
- A nice piece.
- Enough for Mani if he calls.
- Enough for ?
Three!
Your friend needs to eat too.
You've won.
Give me your bag.
You take it. I've got this.
You want a drink? Relax.
- As you like.
- It's up to you.
- What can I have?
- Whatever you like.
Some goat's milk, then.
So...
It seems you're a Briton.
In theory, yes,
but he's no memory of Britain.
So why did you bring him here?
You wanted a Briton,
I got you one.
The Sword of Kings.
Does that mean anything to you?
The Sword of Kings?
A sword that's stuck in a rock.
Yes.
It's a sort of tradition.
When you're a kid,
you pull a sword out of a rock.
Good...
Have you seen it done?
Yes. I vaguely remember it.
It's planted in a rock,
you pull it out, there are flames...
There are lots of people.
It's a kind of party.
Doesn't pulling it out
make you King?
King? No... I told you,
it's a tradition.
Little boys pull out a sword.
That's all I know about it...
I don't understand.
Do all little boys do it?
Yes. I did.
Did you see other boys do it?
I can't remember.
I know I had to be lifted up.
It was too tall.
- Who lifted you up?
- A man with a beard.
- Another one?
- The same one.
- Who's this guy?
- He's forgotten.
I've forgotten.
Arturus, go back to barracks.
If we need you, we'll find you.
Must I find another Briton?
There you are!
What did they want?
I don't know.
Who are they after?
I don't know.
They asked me about Britain.
What can I tell them?
How do you know
where you were born?
I looked it up in the register.
I'm not even in the register.
We'll have to go to Britain.
There's no way round it.
Britain?
You think we've time for that?
I don't know.
I haven't got time, that's sure.
- But you could go.
- I don't believe it!
I'm sorry, I need a clear idea
of what's going on there.
Get them to send a report.
It's simpler.
You never read reports, Servius.
- Go and soak it up.
- Soak what up?
- The ambiance.
- I know the ambiance!
It's a front line. Hanging round
Hadrian's wall. It sucks!
I don't need to soak it up!
Flaccus and Pisentius
have left us a message.
- Where?
- Here. They left a message.
- Why not come in?
- They left a message instead.
- What do they want?
- An update on Britain.
Licinia!
I thought you didn't have a pass!
- I got round it.
- Got round it? You snuck out.
You moan whether I'm here or not!
I'll moan if you get whipped.
I'm taking you out!
We're going to stuff ourselves!
- Where?
- At a big bash in a swanky villa.
- We'll pig out!
- You go to posh parties now?
I've got it all arranged.
I can't go. I'm not alone.
- Are you winding me up?
- It's a girl.
Come to the window
or he'll go nuts!
- Who's she?
- A gift from Verinus.
Bring her.
Doesn't she like food?
I'm not going without a guy.
We can't miss this!
I'll find her a guy.
- Who?
- Someone decent...
Who will you ask? Arturus?
I'm not sure he'll come.
I'll be back.
What about the curfew?
What's he like?
Arturus?
OK for a party.
Arturus?
Mani's in the visitor's room.
What's he doing there?
No idea.
Hurry, or I'll get yelled at.
When will you stop
allowing Manilius to yell at you?
- I don't mind it.
- You don't mind?
No. Mani makes decisions.
Sometimes he gets impatient.
I don't decide anything.
It's normal I get yelled at.
- Isn't it?
- Isn't it what?
Would you rather make decisions
or be yelled at?
- What?
- Come out!
- We're going to a party.
- Where?
In a super-swanky villa!
You get invited
to posh parties now?
Wait! Caius is on the door.
What do we risk?
Getting caught out during curfew.
It's fine. We've done it before.
We'll eat, get laid...
It's a unique event!
- I've already eaten.
- Eaten crap.
- I've eaten.
- But have you been laid?
Come on. It's a one-off!
- Can't you go without me?
- No.
I want to take Licilia.
Unless you come,
the other bint and Licinia won't.
- What bint?
- A bint.
When you get there, you can
dump her if you don't like her.
She won't go alone.
Please.
- Hurry!
- I'm not going to shout!
- Go and get them!
- It's locked.
- It's you?
- I've been calling!
I'll be right down.
- Is Arturus here?
- He's on lookout.
On lookout!
Hurry up or I'll be gone!
Shut up!
Where are you going?
- Is this all right?
- It's fine.
That's...
- It's all right.
- Your friend's here?
What's that?
- It's for my hair.
- It's white.
- What?
- Can't we lose it?
She'll hide it till we get there.
I'm scared to be out during curfew.
We know all the patrol routes.
It's safe.
- So why the black cloak?
- Just in case. Let's go!
What were you playing at?
I almost left!
This is Arturus and...
Julia.
- It's OK.
- What's OK?
He's not bad. I expected worse.
- Worse?
- It wasn't me!
- No, I said it.
- Said what?
- He was OK.
- You said it as if...
- What?
- Nothing. I just said "OK" .
- So, are you happy?
- Yes, he's fine!
You're sure? Tell me if not.
sh*t!
No one's asked what I think.
You can argue on the way.
Ave!
Do we go behind the columns?
- Why?
- You'd rather go in front?
- Neither! We should go that way.
- That way's longer.
- Don't argue.
- You're too noisy!
There are more patrols this way.
That's why we should go behind!
- Why ask me then?
- I'm not. Let's go.
- Where will they come from?
- No idea.
- You don't know?
- I don't plan them!
- You don't know?
- It's not true!
- Where's your villa?
- Not far.
- Where?
- We'll cut through.
- Cut through what?
- Shut up and follow me!
- Straight across?
- Yes. Stick together!
What about the patrol?
- It must be this one.
-" Must be"?
- There's music.
- In theory, it's this one.
" In theory"?
Unless there's another party,
it's here.
We need to be sure
Caius is on the door.
- You're asking that now?
- He's there!
If he's been relieved by someone
we don't know, we've had it!
What do we do?
Someone has to discreetly
check it's Caius.
Do you expect
someone else to do it?
It's fine, it's him.
Is someone there?
- I hoped you'd gone off it!
- Me? Never!
How many are you?
- Who cares!
- Are you paying?
It's easier to sneak two people in
than four.
They'll all be drunk by now.
They wouldn't notice of us!
Behave! Don't yell or steal stuff.
I'm in charge here.
- In charge!
- You're in charge of admissions.
If there's trouble, it's good.
You can call on us!
It'd have to be serious.
I want you out of my sight!
It's better than I hoped!
We'll eat like crazy first,
then we'll drink,
then we'll make sure
we still get on.
Mind your belly.
It's not used to it.
It soon will be!
Would you rather eat or screw?
Right now, I'd rather eat.
After that,
will you go for the girls here or...
Not sure.
Any of these fat pigs tempt you?
To be honest,
I'd rather stick with you.
Let's eat first.
It's done. He got the ingots.
And...?
He has tonight to think.
If the ingots aren't back by dawn,
he accepts the peace treaty.
If they are,
we'll be att*cked at noon?
Yes.
It's a good sum of money.
- Why would he refuse?
- He dislikes us.
But he really loves money.
He'd lose face
in front of the others.
It's the oath that worries me.
Can a guy like that be trusted?
You have to be smart
to break an oath.
He's thick as a plank.
He'll keep his word.
- Won't you eat...
- No.
How many of those have you had?
- , maybe.
- Have you thrown up?
Not yet.
Are you a soldier, too?
Yes.
- In the Legion?
- No.
The urban militia.
Do you like it?
What do you like?
I don't know. Strategy.
The movement of cohorts,
w*r machines...
You learn that in barracks?
A bit.
I read accounts by generals.
- You can read?
- A bit.
Where are you from?
From the island of Britain.
Fancy a break from eating?
Why not.
"A night. A night of waiting.
"A long night before we know
if the enemy
"will accept a peace treaty
so fragile, so friable
"we'll have trouble taking it seriously.
" Precarious solutions, stop-gaps.
All I could come up with.
" Britain was resisting
when I arrived;
" it will be resisting when I leave.
" I can't say why,
" but I've retained,
despite my discouragement,
"some curiosity.
" Is there someone amongst us now
or yet to be born
"destined to restore order
to the island of Britain?
"And if he exists,
"what does he possess that I don't?
"Where does he come from?
" Is he Roman?
"What w*apon has he in his belt?
"The man who wins
where I have failed...
" I'd like to see his face. One time.
" Because he still arouses,
despite my discouragement,
" my curiosity."
Frankly
I feel humiliated.
CARMELIDE ARMY CAMP
I, who thought the Romans
respected their enemy...
But no...
KINGDOM OF LOGRES
Disillusioned yet again.
THE ISLAND OF BRITAIN
If they hope to federate the country
with that kind of mentality...
We'll return their dough,
saddle up
and smash in their faces!
On the other hand,
returning such a sum of money
smacks of bad taste!
I'm sorry.
It's just not done.
If only out of respect
for the more needy.
All right...
But then there's the oath.
If I keep the gold, I don't att*ck!
That's it, then.
I keep the gold, I don't att*ck.
An oath's sacred.
But what I find so upsetting
is this is the very day I'd chosen
to hand over power to you.
Aren't dates something!
I keep the gold, I don't att*ck,
I'm under oath.
But you...
Now you're King of Carmelide,
if you feel like going
and b*ating the sh*t out of them,
I don't really see
how I could stop you!
Hey, guys!
Guess what we're eating tonight!
Romans!
Subtitles by Clare McAllister
DVD Subtitling: CNST, Montreal
I'm really sorry.
Lady of the Lake... late.
I've been on time lately.
No.
Shame. There was something
for you but you missed it.
- Whazzit?
- Don't say "whazzit" .
- Come on...!
- Too late. You weren't here.
This meeting wasn't even planned!
It's extraordinary.
Therefore not planned!
I heard about it really late.
- Like everyone else.
- Finished?
We have news,
for what it's worth,
that Excalibur may be drawn out.
- What? When?
- In the near future.
- We've no more details.
- It no longer concerns you.
Since you weren't here
I picked someone who was.
- We chose someone else.
- Excalibur concerns me!
- It's my responsibility!
- So be on time!
- Absolutely.
- Chew on that.
- Is Arthur still pulling it out?
- By all accounts.
We've no more details.
Problems aside, it should be him.
- Problems aside.
- Be reasonable.
I looked after Arthur.
I taught him everything.
Whatever the hell you did,
he doesn't remember a thing.
Mind your language.
Do I put that?
He was tiny!
Of course he'd forget!
But to forget everything?
You, his adoptive father, Merlin...
Even that he's from Britain.
I'll go and fill him in.
It'll soon come back.
No you won't! You're off the case.
Cure you of being late.
Stop! I'm speaking now.
Whether you like it or not,
the Lady of the Stones
will contact Arthur.
- I'd said the Lady of the Woods...
- I'm busy.
- She told us...
- I couldn't start right away...
Seriously, I swear,
it's the last time I arrive late.
Don't swear. It's settled.
The Lady of the Safeguard
will ratify it.
The Lady of the Stones
will look after young Pendragon.
It's noted.
I wouldn't like to be in your shoes.
Go dye your hair, bitch!
What did I hear?
I was cursed!
I can't get rid of it!
She cursed you! You asked her to!
That's not true!
The Christians are overtaking the Celts.
Red hair is passe!
It's a hair-colour curse!
I can't even do those curses.
Hair-colour curses don't remove
freckles as far as I know.
How come yours have gone?
Silence!
Is this true?
Is it true?
We'll discuss this later.
Believe me.
Meanwhile, you get Arthur back.
- I had it down as her.
- Change it.
She cast an invisible stone!
Spells in meetings?
Aren't you in enough trouble?
That's enough!
Sorry. What's going on?
I had a run in with that slag.
That one there?
ALPHA CENTAURI
YEARS BEFORE KAAMELOTT
BOOK VI
HADRIAN'S WALL FORT
BRITO-ROMAN ZONE
So, Macrinus.
Have you ruled Britain for long?
ISLAND OF BRITAIN.
I wouldn't say " ruled".
Really?
Aren't you Dux Totius Britanniae?
Yes.
Then Rome sent you to rule Britain.
Rome itself doesn't rule Britain.
Don't split hairs.
You rule the Roman part of Britain.
The Roman part isn't Britain.
OK... Fine.
I was talking to pass the time.
Talk to your friends, then.
Ask me, I'll answer.
I'm no fool.
If I visit Hadrian's Wall,
I know the other side isn't ours.
- Am I disturbing you?
- What's up?
The spies think the chieftains
are preparing a secret meeting.
It may be Leodegan
who's presiding.
- Do they meet often?
- Never.
An hour together
and they're fighting.
That's good for us, isn't it?
We've held out
because they don't get on.
Were they to organize themselves,
we'd lose control of Britain.
CARMELIDE ARMY CAMP
KINGDOM OF LOGRES
Where the hell are they?
It's impressive.
All late!
One or two, OK, but all of them?
That's quite a result!
I'm here.
Yes, but you're....
What? Am I here or not?
You're always here.
I call, you come.
You can go too far
the other way too.
If I'm at fault, tell me.
I've no particular criticism.
I just said you're...
- I'm what?
- You're reliable.
So?
It winds me up.
I'll go back to Caledonia then.
That's enough!
I've enough touchy women at home.
I said you're predictable
and that being with you is boring.
That's all.
You, on the other hand,
are far from predictable.
I give you power, treasure, armies,
everything!
Like a mug, I think
you're going to do
something sensible,
such as reducing the country
to ashes.
But ba-da-boom! You call a meeting!
Very daring!
Listen, Father. Why be the only
ones to send guys to the front?
The chieftains are great at yelling
"Romans Out!"
But when it comes to kicking ass
it's only us.
I'm fed up.
- What do I do?
- I don't know...
I promote synergy.
That's very good. Very good!
Just one more thing.
Were you intending to keep
"The Bloodthirsty"
as your nickname?
Now, pay attention.
There are two kinds of cock-up.
Big and little ones.
URBAN MILITIA BARRACKS
Last night's was a big one.
Manilius got into trouble.
Now he's vanished.
If you know anything
you'd better tell me.
I know nothing.
There was a nd guy
who kept his face hidden.
He b*at up our superiors on guard
around the perimeter
and helped Manilius to get away.
Know anything about him?
I don't know who it is.
Caius,
you were on the door.
He must have gone past you.
There were so many people.
I don't remember one with a veil.
I wouldn't know his clothes.
He was bare-chested.
When Manilius arrived...
- Was he with anyone?
- I didn't see him.
Listen, I'm a nice guy,
but if Glaucia starts on you,
it'll get nasty.
Hey, you!
Ave!
How are you, Julius?
- Arturus.
- Arturus. OK?
- Where are you going?
- This way.
I'm going this way.
I'll walk with you a while.
So, tell me.
- What?
- I don't know. About Britain...
Sorry I couldn't be more helpful.
No, you were fine...
The Sword of Kings!
Traditions are great things.
Yes, traditions.
Yes.
Do you still have the sword?
No, I put it back afterwards.
- You put it back.
- They told me to.
So the other kids could...
Wait, wait, wait...
I'd always heard
the person who drew the sword
was made King of Britain.
That was that.
Yes, but...
I'm not King of Britain!
In your opinion,
since you can't remember
seeing anyone else
draw the sword,
might we not imagine
that you're the only one?
We can always imagine it!
If you remember anything
come and see me.
Sometimes things come back.
- Merlin.
- What?
The bearded guy when I was a kid
was called Merlin.
A guy like that, if he's alive,
can tell you all about Britain.
That's very good. I'll follow it up.
Having fun?
You've got a pass?
Is that food you stole
to give to your girlfriend?
No!
We've all done that!
All of us!
Go on, enjoy it.
Merlin.
Are you sulking
or am I extrapolating?
- I'm not sulking.
- Really.
From where I'm sitting,
maybe it's the light,
- you'd think you were.
- I'm not.
I'm glad.
To be quite honest,
it might have made me mad.
- Hey!
- We'd given up on you.
I wish we had!
The road from Ireland
really should be cleared.
And your little camp
takes a lot of finding.
We att*ck the Romans from here.
The discretion's intentional.
It works. I took an hour to find it!
An hour? You're half a day late.
I wouldn't brag about it.
I'd be quieter in general.
Wait... We're meeting here to talk.
- It's not urgent.
- Talking's not urgent?
I don't know.
I don't usually say much.
Keep it that way. Shut up.
- What are we talking about?
- Nothing.
- We're awaiting your counterparts.
- Counter what?
Parts. The others like you.
What, late?
Yes, that's right. Late.
What are you doing there?
- Are you going up?
- In theory.
Not me.
The atmosphere in there...!
What's up?
Being cooped up
doesn't suit your pal.
He's the outdoor type.
- He's acting up?
- In a word.
You can't have a hideout
in the middle of the street.
- Come on.
- I'm fine.
I brought some food.
- But he's...
- I know. Come on.
IMPERIAL PALACE
Have you got chicken?
No. I asked for no meat.
I didn't ask for anything.
I got chicken.
You want it changed?
No...
So...
What's new?
Not a great deal.
At least...
We're focusing on Britain
at the moment.
Britain? What's got into you?
I don't know. It just happened.
It could have been anywhere.
Anywhere would have been better.
Britain, honestly...
Yes, I know, I know...
Who's holding the front?
Manius Macrimus Firmus.
I checked this morning.
Macrinus?
Doesn't ring a bell.
For the last years.
Maybe we should replace him.
We're getting nowhere...
To get anywhere in Britain
we need a Briton.
- They're too...
- Patriotic?
Yes. r*cist.
Who have you in mind?
There's a tradition in Britain
we could make use of.
I've got a chap
who might serve as front man.
- I know him? Where's he from?
- The urban militia.
What rank?
He's a youngster.
He's got no rank.
You're palming Britain off
on a grunt from the UM?
Is there no compote?
There's always compote.
I can't take any more!
You've done this before.
- This is different.
- You'll have to put up with it.
Easy for you to say.
- You can go out...
- What?
Another row!
Funny. You b*at up Glaucia,
- I'm in hiding!
- You went in, face showing,
without thinking.
If I hadn't hit him you'd be in jail!
Be quiet or there's no point hiding.
Yelling just winds everyone up.
I can't stay here.
We have to do something.
What do you want to do?
Go and apologise?
I didn't hit anyone.
I could get off with lashes.
You'd have to denounce Arturus.
And lashes...
It could finish you off.
Stop talking about lashes...
You...
You b*at up an officer.
If he's their only scapegoat,
he'll get more than a whipping.
- So, what do I do?
- Nothing. You wait.
- How long?
- I don't know.
If you need to leave Rome,
he has to find a boat.
Yes! Of course!
Obviously!
Boats are my thing!
I chuck a stone in the sea,
bob up!
Stop arguing! It's pointless!
All right? Got everything you need?
Sorry,
I'm a bit short of meat today.
I try to provide a balanced meal.
As far as humanly possible.
A garrison presents
very specific requirements.
One has to prioritize
the nutritional
without forgetting the comfort.
A good meal
often equals a good mood.
Is he a bit thick?
- I hit him once.
- Really?
I don't know what he was on about,
but I gave him a smack.
No kidding!
He kept it down for a while,
but just now
it's creeping back.
The day you arrived I got
"The importance
of cutting one's toenails".
Ouch!
I'll wait a bit,
but he's got one coming.
Another one's just arrived!
Lot from Orcania!
Sorry! He said it would
take days but it took .
- I see.
- What is it?
I blame everything on you?
Is it surprising?
- No.
- There then!
- So, what are we doing?
- Waiting.
For what?
- Your counterpart.
- What counterpart?
All the late guys. I'll explain.
Maybe we can join you?
- Where?
- In eating!
Save you the embarrassment
of eating in front of us.
Those not born in barns invite
visitors to share their meals.
I think I'm polite
not kicking your butt.
Is this a modern strategy?
Get jerks together
and trade insults?
- Six.
- You're expecting another.
No, the th is you, Father.
There you are. Trading insults.
We ask you to sort out Britain
and this is all you can suggest!
What does your local folklore say?
Who do we put in charge?
Ajerk with no rank or education.
He's a front man! A front man!
- A front man!
- A lousy one!
I'm not saying I approve,
but if the kid has the Sword...
He doesn't have it.
- What?
- He doesn't have it.
I never said he did!
He drew it out
long ago, but he doesn't have it.
This is all nonsense!
And Caesar?
Since Sallustius sees him...
What does he think?
Being a stickler for hierarchy,
he won't agree to your farce.
If I can just explain to him...
No way! We're not looking stupid
because of you!
If we want to look stupid
we can do it ourselves.
Go and conquer Britain, then!
Put on a helmet and go! We'll watch!
Now we get yelled at!
I don't like this, Sallustius.
Not one little bit.
If you carry on with your schemes,
don't count on our support.
I never did!
It's not just about
conquering Britain, Sallustius!
It's about doing it decently.
Exactly. We cut throats,
cut off heads and burn families!
Decently.
The only Roman power I recognise
is w*r, Sallustius. Not schemes.
The only Roman power I can see
is arseholes in togas
who spend their time lecturing me!
It strikes me,
that this is getting ridiculous!
Be careful!
When he makes a dramatic exit
it works.
- But he's got...
- He's got more...
Right away...
I'd just as soon warn you,
I'm not in the very best of moods.
- Me neither.
- Shut it!
Even so!
Last night I was beaten up.
By a bastard who
didn't dare show himself.
- Stop butting in!
- I'm far too wound up!
I can't control myself.
For the last time, Caius,
who kicked my head in last night?
I don't know.
All right. We'll start with ten
to warm us up.
- Ten what?
- Lashes.
There's a whip?
Of course! What's this?
I'm sorry, I didn't know.
I can't see from here.
If there's a whip, I'll talk.
It was Arturus.
OK, now?
Would you mind untying me?
Go and get Arturus
and put him exactly
where he's standing now.
Well, well, well...
What's going on in here?
What's this meeting?
What are you talking about?
Me, perhaps?
Not at the moment.
But come bursting in
without a word of hello,
we'll be discussing you soon.
You nearly managed it!
I was this far from not knowing.
- About what?
- Your poxy meeting!
- I'm lost.
- Me too.
Me too. He'll have to drop
the irony because
with all this stylistic effect,
- we'll never get it.
- Is this an effect?
- What is it? A message?
- A message...
But the problem still hasn't been
spelled out! A little humour!
A message my spies intercepted,
about a meeting in your camp,
to which I wasn't invited...
Surprise, surprise!
- Show me?
- Go on. Take refuge in the details.
It's the message I sent you.
- What?
- It's for you. Your name's on it.
Don't take me for a fool!
My spies intercepted that.
They intercepted a message for you.
We've been waiting days for you!
I was late. It's no excuse.
Your spies are really good.
Spying's an Armorican speciality.
Isn't it?
Go easy on the insults...
All the same...
Because...
I didn't get all that,
but I don't like it!
- Who is it?
- Verinus.
- And Julia.
- Come in.
- It's the pits!
- What's up?
- It's the pits!
- They're going to t*rture Arthur.
- What happened?
- Did Caius squeal?
- They tortured him too.
- The pits, huh?
- What do we do? Go?
- Go where?
Leave Rome. If Arturus squeals...
No, Arturus...
- What?
- He's not Caius. He's more...
Under t*rture?
I warn you, if I'm tortured,
I'll squeal right away.
I act manly,
but I'm sensitive in my own way.
We can't risk them coming.
We're splitting.
Splitting... Are we ready to split?
Did you find your boat?
Can we stop talking about boats?
I never said I could get a boat!
Enough!
Can't we save Arturus
from being tortured?
He split Glaucia's head open.
We can't do a thing.
- They'll k*ll him?
- By t*rture or in the circus.
- He's had it.
- I can't storm the barracks.
- What do we do now?
- I'll sleep on it.
You go outside.
If a patrol comes, tell me.
I spend the night outside,
keeping watch on my own?
- OK?
- You've done nothing so far.
Exactly. It was great.
- I feel really bad.
- It's fine.
It's the whip.
Honestly, I can't stand it.
I don't know how you do it.
It's all right.
I'm not mad at you, OK?
I'm mad at myself.
I sicken myself when I'm like this.
Caius, unless you want to get
the back lash, move it!
I'm coming! I'm hurrying!
Hear my poncey little voice?
I can't stand myself!
Get out, Caius!
- Right...
- Right...
- We'll start off nicely.
- Nice and easy.
Then we'll ask things such as,
"Where's Manilius?"
But to get ourselves in the mood,
we'll give you lashes. OK?
Is it OK or not?
You're really asking?
What can I say?
- Is he being smart?
- I don't know where Mani is.
I'm confident you'll remember.
Go ahead!
- What's wrong with you?
- Senator!
- Senator what?
- There's a senator.
What are you on about?
I'm not waiting outside all day.
Attention!
That won't be easy for me.
Lucius Sillius Sallustius,
what brings you here?
Is that Arturus tied up there?
- You know him?
- What did he do?
This.
He hit me in the Adam's apple.
It doesn't show as much...
Remind me of his rank, please...
I can k*ll him. He's a soldier.
I'm not asking because of that...
What rank can a soldier rise to?
What rank? It all depends.
- On what?
- There are lots of ranks.
The highest. The highest rank
for an ordinary soldier
in the militia? What is it?
I don't know. It's like the Legion.
Centurion.
Centurion?
Make him a centurion.
Centurion? When?
Now.
Just like that?
You don't have the rank to punish
a centurion, so untie him.
But, to go from soldier to centurion
in one go
takes something exceptional.
Isn't a personal visit by me
exceptional enough?
Do as I say.
Is a centurion higher or lower
than you?
Lower.
But higher than you!
Untie him.
Madam will be right here.
I'm terribly sorry,
but since we didn't expect you...
It's fine.
I'm terribly sorry, I'm new here.
Given your rank,
I'm not sure I should
leave you here alone.
Given my rank,
you shouldn't speak to me!
Oh, I see...
I once left a senator alone here
and he didn't say a thing.
I'm not only a senator
but Caesar's advisor.
I see.
One other thing,
I have these little flies dancing
in front of my eyes.
Is that normal?
Thank you, Drusilla. You can go.
Very well.
I don't need telling twice.
- Am I disturbing you?
- I was resting.
I need a small favour, Aconia.
Not so small
if it merits a personal visit.
You know Caesar.
He's always been somewhat eccentric.
His latest infatuation
is with a young soldier.
I didn't know he was into soldiers.
Careful,
I never said he was into soldiers.
He's become fond of him.
He made him a centurion,
just like that, straight away,
on a whim.
The Senate is a little concerned.
You can understand.
Concerned about what?
What if Caesar makes him
I don't know what else?
We'll have a superior officer
who knows absolutely nothing.
No!
You follow me?
I don't see where I come in,
but I'm listening.
It's very simple.
On the one hand, a little jerk,
on the other, one of our most
educated and refined ladies...
You...
You want me to instruct a soldier?
Exactly.
But at your own pace, of course.
I didn't know Rome
was short of teachers.
Sending him to an official school
would be admitting
that we promote idiots.
What I want from you
is both efficiency and discretion.
To be honest, I think I'm a bit old
to become a teacher.
Listen...
You're all alone in this big house.
It's Rome's fault that I'm alone.
Well there you are!
Rome's offering you some company.
Are you being funny, Sallustius?
Rome abandoned me.
Now it wants a favour?
Favour...
You mean it's an order?
From Caesar.
Sorry,
I'm at the mercy of his whims.
In town,
they say you pull the strings.
If I were pulling the strings
I'd have solved your problem
long ago.
- It's big enough for two of you.
- You'll lose your pants!
- It's k*lling my shoulders.
- Give it to me!
You look like a handcart in it!
Sorry. Ave, Centurion.
- Your pal's outside.
- My pal?
- Who tries to sell you things.
- Verinus?
They're searching the ghetto.
You have to come.
Come out? I can't!
Why not?
I can't. Unless I go over the wall,
as usual.
You're a centurion, dimwit!
You come and go as you like!
Oh, yeah...
How do I go out? By the door?
Of course.
Of course.
Aren't you taking your...?
Centurion!
It's you. Oh, no.
Ave Centurion. Excuse me.
What are you doing?
Trying to find the fugitive,
Appius Manilius.
Found anything?
Not yet. We've streets to go.
- Found anything?
- As I said...
Look! A suspect individual
out during curfew. Get him!
Halt! Go and get him.
Centurion!
I have information
of the utmost importance!
It's me...
- What?
- I'm not a centurion.
I'm the centurion. I told you.
The crest...
Talk. What's this information
you're going on about?
- Who do I tell?
- Talk, moron!
A rumour's going round...
No, that's much too much.
Really?
A rumour's going round the ghetto.
Disregarding the curfew,
I came to inform you...
as soon as I...
- Learned of it?
- Learned of it!
- You know each other?
- No...
Yes, he's my informer.
Speak, plebeian.
The rumour concerns a soldier
on the run
named Appius Manilius.
- Manilius?
- It's him we want! Move it!
Several people claim
he's hiding in a domus
in the rich area.
What?
We can stop searching here.
- No?
- Yes.
Back to base.
Tomorrow we search the rich areas.
Right.
Move it, you maggots. Home to bed.
Ave Centurion.
Sorry, I'm still not used to it.
Right...
Barring a forest fire,
an att*ck by dragons,
or one of you choking on a gnat,
I think the meeting can begin.
Come on! Let's go.
What's happening now?
- We're going back!
- Back where?
To Carmelide! Where else?
I'm set. If it rains
I'll stop and change my shoes.
We're just about to start!
days ago you said
we'd go home in days.
Your sister's with the boy
till tomorrow. Let's go.
Can we stop
if we see any mushrooms?
What's all this nonsense?
You're leaving us. Is that right?
We have to go by night
to avoid the patrols.
You have Roman patrols
at your place now?
Not at our place,
but this is an occupied zone.
An occupied zone?
We came by day like maidens!
We could have been caught!
This is an outpost.
What the hell does that mean?
You could have an outpost at home.
We're not a bunch of faggots.
My outpost's under the Romans' nose.
We were lucky to get through!
We should make tracks, too.
Do as you like.
We're off back to the boy.
This is ridiculous!
Invite your pals home.
We'll go to the beach
and you can make sandpies!
Make w*r instead of smalltalk,
you imbecile!
It really suits you.
It's making my shoulders bleed.
- Mani mustn't go far.
- He's getting some air.
I got rid of one patrol
but another might turn up.
Let's do it.
We don't have all week.
- What the hell's that?
- Hello!
- Are you sick?
- Who are you?
- "You" who?
- Come off it!
She can't see me.
Only you can.
What's got into you? Are you nuts?
Finished? Can we come back?
- Maybe I should come back.
- Wait!
- Hurry up!
- Get a move on.
- I recognise you!
- Yes, that's normal.
Can you come in? He's gone crazy!
Is something wrong?
I'll come back. It'll be easier.
The centurion gear suits you.
Tell me something!
I wanted to ask,
if it's not indiscreet,
what will you tell them in Rome?
- That we can't cope?
- They know that already.
Why did they send you here?
- For the ambiance.
- Really?
- It's for you.
- For me?
Before I go,
I have to find a guy called Merlin.
- Who?
- Merlin. Ring any bells?
No. If you've no more
to go on than that...
Let me go!
I know what you'll think.
Everything indicates
that I was spying.
But that's not the case!
I was gathering things.
I'm a Druid and Druids
gather things.
How long are you going to be?
Roughly.
- Let me get used to the idea!
- Of what?
- Getting into that thing!
- What thing?
The boat?
You've never been in one?
No, Mr Done-it-all.
I've never been in a boat.
How do you avoid it on an island?
By never leaving it.
More questions?
Would you rather get in now
or be kicked on board in secs?
- I don't like it!
- The sea's calm. Get in.
Or I'll get you myself!
- I'm scared of fish!
- Scared of fish?
Not in fresh water.
Trout and carp are fine.
- There are big things in there!
- Get in.
- Fabulous!
- Bother!
- Let's go!
- No. Absolutely not!
Give me time to get used to it.
Subtitles by Clare McAllister
DVD Subtitling: CNST, Montreal
Are you taking the piss?
Do you own this street?
Then get off my case!
Where's he from?
I've been here years!
Make way for the young!
I said nothing
when you were setting up.
But what's sir brought out?
Lemons!
Are you allergic to lemons?
No, to arseholes!
I sell the lemons here.
Lemons? They're so small
I thought they were prunes!
Get out of here!
I'll call the militia!
Do that!
Make them laugh!
Don't be so smart.
I've a lot of influence.
I'm an informer!
When I call, they come!
Where's your influence got you!
I'm a trader!
There's no shame in it!
I buy my goods honestly.
Not like some people.
- What?
- You know what I mean.
I don't believe they're not stolen.
Where did you find those lemons?
Up your arse!
YEARS BEFORE KAAMELOTT
BOOK VI
Centurion's sleep all day?
I've stuff to do, but later.
- Why not come to training?
- Because it's a pain.
Would you go unless you had to?
What do you have to do?
They haven't told me.
A secret mission!
It's true!
I've a mystery meeting.
It could be bad.
They often send young NCO's
to do really risky stuff!
- Don't be stupid.
- So you're staying in bed?
Yup.
Are you sick?
Do you have a moment now?
I'm fine. I have to go and pray.
He's praying now?
Praying to Mars?
Why don't you show up
when I'm alone?
I try, but there's often a hitch.
You looked after me
when I was a kid?
Yes, amongst others.
Why come back now?
Why all this talk of Britain?
Because it's time.
I remember almost nothing.
Why am I here?
I've things to tell you.
I don't have time. I have to go.
- When?
- I don't know. Tonight.
You'll be busy then as well.
Late tonight, when I'm not busy!
We have to talk soon.
So you know what's happening.
OK, but I'm a Roman centurion.
I have to obey orders.
- A Roman centurion!
- What?
It's like praying to Mars.
It'll soon be way behind you.
My, oh my!
- I wouldn't have known him.
- It's him.
Look, Arturus! Your bearded man!
- Merlin?
- The same!
To remember my name after
years... I'm touched!
- How come you're here?
- Roman intelligence.
You say Merlin, we find him.
- Even in the arsehole of the world!
- You mean Britain?
You show him around,
he'll tell you about your homeland.
What?
- You call him Arturus?
- Is that wrong?
His name's Arthur.
- What's that?
- The name his mother gave him.
Mother?
Arthur Pendragon,
after his father.
- Father?
- You've lots to catch up on.
- May I have a word with him?
- Go ahead.
I really have to play tour guide?
Yes, but be at Villa Aconia
at noon.
- Villa what?
- Where you b*at up Glaucia.
I didn't know the name.
Why do I have to go back there?
You'll see.
But don't just turn up any old how.
Wash, put on clean civvies
and be on time.
- I don't get it.
- You don't have to.
Walk the beardy bloke around
and try and grasp
the situation in Britain.
I'd like to visit the Tyrrhenian
ruins and get a drink.
HADRIAN'S WALL FORTIFIED CAMP
So?
The Carmelide troops are moving.
BRITO-ROMAN ZONE
Except...
ISLAND OF BRITAIN
Except what?
They don't seem to have a leader.
No leader? What are they doing?
Waiting?
They're not waiting, they're moving.
Well...
It depends what you call " moving".
They're marching.
- With no leader?
- With no leader.
Are they marching towards us?
If not, do we care?
You know how it is...
The spies spy,
they give you a report,
"The Carmelide troops are moving.
"They've no leader."
What do we do?
- Does it look like an att*ck?
- It doesn't look like much.
That's why the spies are unsettled.
Thank you, Cordius.
- Otherwise, I...
- No, it's fine.
Fine.
- So, you're eating?
- So what?
You asked me to help fight a battle
CARMELIDE
but if we're eating toast...
We'll do battle afterwards.
KINGDOM OF LOGRES
You're early. Don't blame us.
- Are beans all we have?
- Mind the grease...
- No! A blot on the map!
- Blot yourself! It's a lake!
A lake? There's no lake.
There's grease on it!
Grease yourself!
We make the lakes blue.
Don't wind us up.
So, do I go home?
What do I do?
No. Pin back your lugholes.
I'll tell you the plan.
- While eating?
- Balls!
Our mutual friend, Ketchatar,
King of Ireland, leads an army.
Half his guys, half mine.
And a few of mine.
What's wrong?
I said "a few" , not "a lot" .
Too right! Three gimps
you had hanging around...
- He's not your mutual friend.
- What?
You said "Our mutual friend" .
That's not true.
He's mutual but not your friend.
Of course not! That's why
we're sending him to the front line.
Excuse me!
Beans are so bloating!
You didn't have to eat potfuls.
We'll direct Ketchatar
by carrier pigeon
without moving from here.
- We set him on the Romans?
- Affirmative.
- News?
- Yes.
- Ketchatar hasn't arrived.
- Arrived where?
If your pigeon's
from the b*ttlefield,
he hasn't arrived
on the b*ttlefield.
Where is he?
He was due there hours ago!
In that case,
thank you for offering.
I'll have a plate of beans
with a slice of meat
to help them down.
Do you see the splendour
of these colonnades?
The imposing
rivalling the majesty...
- This is taking forever!
- Am I wrong?
You see this every day
without appreciating it.
You said the same thing
about a sausage shop!
The imposing
can rival the majesty there too!
And Britain?
When do we talk about that?
We'll talk about it later.
I want to see Rome.
You look around.
I've orders. I have to go.
- What, now?
- Right now. Ave!
All right. I don't need you!
I can go on my own little tour.
Just like that.
And if the imposing
rivals the majesty, too bad!
So, where's your influence?
- Why not use it?
-"Sir" has pals in the law!
I've an arrangement
with the militia.
So do I.
I'll be out faster than I went in!
Then you'll be for it!
Not taking your lemons?
I'll be back.
You'd better be on holiday!
You're on yours already!
Take him away!
One hour! I'll be back!
Lemons?
You're late.
Yes, I'm sorry.
Were you told to come in uniform?
No...
I mean...
I was caught a bit short.
Changing would have made me
even later.
Madam's late too. You're lucky.
Madam?
You mean, it's not you?
Wait here. I'll get her.
The little protégé!
- My respects.
- You're in uniform..
As I told your servant, I didn't
have time to return to barracks.
So, that's why....
Are you hungry?
- Pardon?
- Are you hungry?
Hungry! I thought you said...
Yes... I'm always pretty hungry.
Drusilla will feed you.
Come back tomorrow for the rest.
Sorry, but...
I was asked to come here
but they didn't tell me why.
We'll start with algebra,
then some Socrates.
But tomorrow. Today you eat.
So?
We were just taking stock.
That's nice, but do it another time.
Where are the spies?
They're here! They're back!
I don't believe it!
I demanded their report immediately!
We were just discussing it.
I don't think it's very pleasant.
Who cares what you think!
You've no right to read it!
The Vandals are approaching
the British,
from the rear.
- The rear?
- From the West.
- They're not from the West!
- See!
That's why it's not pleasant.
From the West?
What the hell do the Vandals want?
Where did they come from?
- They don't come often.
- Only now and then.
And they pick today?
They att*ck me from the rear
while I'm marching on the Romans!
You? You've practically
no men involved!
What are you doing?
- Drawing our men.
- Are you crazy?
- She's drawing on the map!
- With grease!
Aren't they here?
You get a better idea like this.
- But they're going to be moving!
- Really?
Not much, if the Vandals thrash them.
Is Ketchatar still not there?
You're the one with the message.
You can read.
It doesn't say he's arrived.
If I've got this right,
our troops will be att*cked
from the rear by the Vandals
and from the front by the Romans.
We mustn't forget them!
Only Ketchatar's not there
to lead our men.
I can put them here.
It's where they're going to die.
It's Arturus.
Were you expecting someone else?
Verinus should be bringing food...
- He's vanished.
- You can't trust anyone.
Well, I've brought some food.
- You stole from the store?
- No.
- Look! Meat with peppers!
- Meat?
And bread! It's still fresh!
Where did you steal this?
I didn't even steal it.
Where's it from?
- What does it matter? Eat!
- You won't say?
Eat what you're given!
How about a thank you!
I'm happy anyway.
It's Mani who can't leave here.
Can't you girls find some food?
- I'm too scared.
- Me too.
We've no money.
We were seen at the party.
If we were followed back here...
Too risky.
- The food's from Villa Aconia.
- You went back?
I was sent to see the old bag.
They gave me food
and I brought it here.
Thank you.
It's fine.
Just fine.
I said Mani.
I could have said anything.
But you said Mani!
You asked me where I lived
with a smack in the face.
I don't live anywhere.
I'm like a butterfly.
I mentioned a girl I stay with
who's a friend of...
- Manilius.
- Yes, Manilius.
It just came out.
It can't be him you want.
I'm not even sure of his name.
We don't have many soldiers
called Mani.
Ever seen an angry man?
I think so, the slapping I've had.
- Do I hit him?
- Wait a minute.
Yes, wait a minute.
I'm mad because a guy hit me.
I can relate to that.
When I found him
they wouldn't let me punish him.
He was promoted instead!
All right, that's really tough.
I didn't know that.
No one told me.
I'll complain on your behalf!
I'll cause a stir!
Want me to stir your face?
We can't touch Arturus.
Give us the other guy!
- Who?
- The one who's hiding! Manilius!
I don't know this person!
What is it?
- A light meal.
- Get out.
Put it down and get out!
Unless you say where he is
I'll have to slap you till tomorrow.
Make an effort!
Tomorrow...
Isn't there a risk I might die?
Where's Manilius hiding?
All right, calm down!
I'll tell you where he is.
You're lucky I can't stand
any harm being done
to my physical integrity.
Get out of here!
Falerius!
The jerk's giving away
Mani's hiding place!
- No!
- We have to warn him!
We don't know where he is!
Go back and listen!
I've already been thrown out once!
Arturus knows where he is.
- Is he here?
- I think he's out.
- There's no one here.
- But I saw him go in!
You can't have seen him leave.
What now?
We've looked everywhere.
I don't know.
- It's you!
- Of course it's me.
Why are you like that?
So big, you mean?
Sometimes I appear like this.
Do you mind?
It's a bit odd.
Next time I'll be your size.
You'll feel easier.
Talk quietly.
I'm not allowed here.
I don't need to.
Only you can hear me.
Oh, yes!
All right, I'm listening.
What's it about?
Britain. What do you know
- about Britain?
- Nothing!
Nothing at all?
I see.
We'll start at the beginning.
What you call Britannia
is the island and what surrounds it.
When I say Britain,
I mean the Kingdom of Logres.
That's Britannia and Wales
and Ireland, Caledonia,
Carmelide, the islands
and the continental Kingdom,
Armorica and Aquitaine.
OK?
OK. I can't promise
I'll remember all this.
You must.
It's your future kingdom.
You have to know what's yours.
I'll note it down somewhere. Next?
Next, your father.
He's dead.
Sorry to dash your hopes.
I hadn't any in particular.
Your father, Uther Pendragon,
was the last king Logres had.
You mean, there's no king?
- No.
- And us?
- What leader are we fighting?
- You who?
The Romans!
Oh, yes.
Stop that, too.
You're not Roman.
I'm still getting used to it.
Who's the leader over there?
At the moment, the chief of
Carmelide. It changes.
Whoever shouts loudest.
The clans are always at w*r.
At w*r!
With each other or with us?
The Romans.
With each other and the Romans.
- That can't be easy.
- Not really.
The situation's reached a deadlock.
But...
Is there no one who could
coordinate it all?
Why did the gods send me
to find you?
- What are you doing here?
- What?
You told me to come. I came.
- I'm late but for a reason.
- You called him here?
I said the th step
of Hadrian's Wall!
You never said that!
- We said to bring your troops.
- I did.
- Where are they?
- Outside. I didn't bring them in!
- Your troops are outside?
- Yes.
We've only half the men we planned
at Hadrian's Wall?
Yes, indeed... We've now reached
a remarkable level of stupidity!
- What do we do?
- What can we do?
It's my men against the Romans
and the Vandals!
Mine are here.
That's a lot of guys!
That's why I'm late.
Marching them so far
was no joke.
Got anything for them to eat?
What?
There are some beans.
- Enough for , ?
- No.
We'll see to them tomorrow.
Mine are being seen to now!
Clubs from the rear,
pila from the front!
- What if I can't draw the thing?
- Excalibur?
There shouldn't be a problem.
But what if I can't?
I don't know what to say.
Let's say...
- Say I draw the thing out.
- Excalibur!
I'm King of Logres.
The chieftains will just come
and do as I say?
Excalibur should be enough
to impose your authority.
So I mustn't mess it up?
You'd better not.
There's no reason you should.
And the chiefs
run the country with me?
Of course!
"Of course" . I'm not so sure.
You say they're as thick as bricks
and always fighting.
- Why can't I choose other people?
- Do as you like.
In your place, I'd use the chiefs.
Annoy them,
you won't federate a thing.
What are you thinking?
We have to find a way to...
make room for those with motivation.
Who are brave,
even if they're hicks.
Find a way to let everyone
prove their worth.
If it's the same skulduggery there
as here it's pointless.
You say there's a sword in a rock
that anyone can try and draw.
That should be our inspiration.
Everyone
has the right to try.
Are you doing this on purpose?
I said "You enter the ghetto
from the South."
South in relation to what?
It depends which way you're facing!
It's hard enough to handle the guilt
when you inform on someone.
If you can't grasp the directions...
Drop the North and South stuff!
You know the blue wash house,
by the crossroads?
Lock him up.
We're due at the palace in hours.
- The palace?
- Why lock me up?
Why?
I'm cooperating like a bastard!
Jail! Until we arrest Manilius.
We don't want you warning him.
I have to understand
where he is first.
Move aside...
Isn't there anyone sharper
I can tell?
This is going to take all week!
IMPERIAL PALACE
Ave Lucius Silius Sallustius.
Ave Publius Servius Capito.
- It's an honour...
- Should I wait outside?
Stay, Procyon.
This concerns you, too.
It would appear that
you found the chap who b*at you up?
No, it was Arturus who b*at me up.
I found the other one.
He was hiding in the ghetto!
I don't give a sh*t.
I suppose this other guy...
You'll arrest him,
put him to death, all that...
That's the plan.
I'm going to be clear.
This other chap.
- What's his name?
- Appius Manilius.
You can do what you want to him.
But if you touch Arturus...
- He can't, he's a centurion.
- Shut it!
We know.
But at night, when you can't sleep,
you dream of making him pay.
Angry as you must be.
I won't lie. It's true, I'm furious.
Not allowed.
Absolutely not allowed.
You don't touch a hair
of his head. Got it?
Of course, he's a centurion.
Caesar has big plans for him.
Hurt him, you'll hurt Caesar.
Got it?
Well...
Very good. Get out.
Exactly. I'm a Druid.
A Druid like the Gallic Druids?
No, like the British Druids.
A British Druid's at home
with his environment.
Fauna, flora, natural elements...
With the Gallic Druid
you've got a potion-based Druid.
Not that he is a potion...
I get it.
So, are you a magician or not?
Depends what you call a " magician" .
I can do you a hail of stones
but not a sleep spell.
A hail of stones?
Yes, or lightning.
That's all my field.
You could make lightning strike now?
To be honest, the sky's clear.
It doesn't look like rain.
I don't quite get it.
You can make lightning,
but only during a storm?
Only...
I won't lie to you. It helps.
- And the dragons?
- What?
I hear dragons still exist
in your country.
Of course! Don't they here?
Dragons? No.
What strange beasts do you have?
I don't know. Snakes.
Ah, giant snakes. They're bad.
Giant? No, not giant.
Things this size.
Oh, no...
We have an aquatic snake
in the Lake of Shadows.
Twice the length of the street!
Give or take...
Hey! Ave, Centurion.
Look at this morning's catch!
It just shows, with a good informer...
Who squealed?
- Shut it!
- Find him!
- We know who it was.
- Shut it!
- Verinus.
- Shut it, by Juno!
I'll lock you up
for insubordination!
I said it right this time!
As for you, Arturus,
lucky someone's on your side.
That smack in the throat...
I'll make you pay for it!
Ave Centurion.
Colleagues of yours?
- The one in the middle.
- What did he do?
I have to leave you.
- Leave me where?
- Here. Orders...
I must go.
I was meant to change first.
What do I do?
Wait for me here.
I'll be an hour or , or .
What do I do for hours?
Take a walk and come back later.
- All right.
- Here's some money.
I'll be back.
The other way? What's that?
They've stopped coming towards us.
The Vandals were up their rear
so they turned on them.
Where does that leave us?
It gets you too?
- Gets me?
- It's annoying, isn't it?
The Vandals are coming
so we no longer exist!
Get out, Cordius.
- We only count when they're bored.
- Get out!
Why would I say come here?
There are no Romans!
Why would I say come here?
There are no Romans!
You say come, I come.
I don't think about it!
- Think?
- Stop yelling for minutes!
From what I hear, you've lost.
If you've lost,
there's no point shouting.
- News!
- You can keep it!
The men want to come home.
The Romans returned to camp,
the Vandals stopped attacking.
They've fallen out with their scout,
Galessin.
- Their scout who?
- Galessin.
Isn't Galessin his right-hand man?
Scouting
for the Vandals attacking us?
That's what it says here.
That's why they came from the West.
They were led by an Orcanian!
You weren't trying
to double-cross me, were you?
Meaning?
Surprising me with the Vandals
while I was busy with the Romans?
Listen, off hand
it doesn't ring any bells,
but to be quite honest,
it's possible.
It wouldn't be unlike me.
If I hadn't stirred up an att*ck
from the West,
you'd have run into the Romans
to the East.
But, why?
Why constantly betray the people
with whom I collaborate?
It's probably a compulsive response
to a fear of attachment.
Destroying rather than cultivating
relationships
so as not to become helpless
in the face of happiness.
Yes, to answer your question,
I'm afraid of loving.
I'm happy to forget
your attempts at a putsch,
your shady schemes, bogus alliances
and all the rest.
However, unless you shut up
once and for all,
I'll flatten your balls
with this.
- You're late again.
- I'm sorry.
- You're in uniform again.
- Yes, but...
I know the spiel.
If you'd changed
you'd be even later.
- Right?
- Yes.
Stark naked.
- What?
- Naked in the bath with oils.
When one represents Rome
one keeps clean. baths a week.
Hang on, I'm not here to wash...
- Why are you here?
- I don't know.
I'm told nothing.
I don't even know why I'm here.
You're here to learn. Lesson one:
When one represents Rome
one keeps clean.
One keeps clean.
Wash his things
and give him something to wear.
There's no way
I can let you have my uniform!
Stark naked.
If I can wangle it...
I'm not promising anything...
- I'll get you some lions.
- Lions?
If I winge and show my wound
I'm sure I can get you eaten.
What do you say?
Hey, the tarts are here!
- Shall we come back?
- Stay!
You'll see, it's great here.
Isn't she the other guy's bird?
Which other guy?
The one who should be here!
He should be, but he's not.
I know.
Life's not always straightforward.
I'll leave you lowlife together.
Don't worry, I'll see to the lions.
- Lions?
- Why didn't Arturus come?
- He's busy.
- He's ashamed.
Ashamed to come...
We've said it's unfair.
Can't he come now?
I'm still his mate!
- Not eating?
- No.
The law spoils my appetite.
Not mine.
One day that scheming bastard,
Sallustius,
will get caught red-handed.
He'll end up in the arena
with a lion up his arse
and I'll be in the front row.
In the meantime, he isn't.
He's Caesar's protégé.
I know that, you dimwit!
But the wheel turns.
It keeps turning!
We need help from the gods.
Maybe it's worth making an offering?
If you bury some sheep's balls
under a statue of Vulcan...
What if we buried yours?
I was just saying.
If Sallustius ends the w*r
in Britain he won't be lion food.
He'll be a hero!
What if I stopped the w*r
in Britain?
I'm no worse than Sallustius.
What?
He's pretty good at skulduggery.
While you run the urban militia,
the crummiest unit of all,
he almost runs the Empire!
- You want a kicking?
- It's true.
To stop the w*r in Britain,
you need dough.
Every chief has his price.
But you've no money.
It can be found.
It's about knowing the right people.
You know people with money?
Absolutely!
Of course! You know Sallustius.
- Do you think he'd lend...
- Shut it!
Send a message
to the British chiefs, you hear?
To the King of Carmelide.
Invite him here.
By the time he gets here
I'll have a good sum of money.
Once I've Romanised the hick
and all our legions are back in Rome
Caesar will summon me
and make me a senator!
I'll be able to piss on Sallustius!
He'll be helpless!
- Go on!
- What, now? I'm still eating!
When I say Rome is to the city
what goats are to goat's cheese,
I mean it's the little bit extra
akin to the stone
but not directly
within the heart of the fruit.
Young Pendragon!
How's tricks, Your Highness?
Quick! Inside before it rains!
What've you been up to?
When you left I said,
"Shall I take a walk?"
Finally I decided to get pissed.
- Have a drink!
- Stop that and listen.
Careful! If you don't keep hydrated
in this heat...
Sober up or get a ducking!
OK! OK!
Listen carefully.
- You're going back to Britain.
- When?
Now. Don't keep butting in!
All right.
You're going to go back
with a message from me.
You'll explain to everyone,
rich, poor, young and old,
that Pendragon's son is back
and about to reclaim the sword.
- Excalibur.
- That's it.
Tell the people, I encourage them
to distinguish themselves
by a feat of arms,
victory over some kind of peril,
or the accomplishment
of an ennobling quest.
Make them understand
that the best will govern
alongside me.
I have to do the whole island?
No, the whole Kingdom of Logres.
And the islands, Armorica...
All that was under my father's yoke.
- Under... ?
- The yoke.
- The...?
- Yoke.
Yoke as in egg yolk?
No as in yoke yoke.
- Oh...
- Will you remember?
You're looking for the best people?
I'm not ruling with a load of g*ons.
Surely that's it now!
There can't be any more news
from such a crap battle!
This isn't from the battle!
What's gone wrong now?
- We're invited to Rome.
- Where?
I just told you. Rome!
- Who by?
- By them.
- "Them"?
- The Romans.
Which Romans?
How do I know?
They're all the same.
What do they want?
To make us an offer. Apparently.
Am I invited too?
Yes. They must have thought...
That what?
We were the kind
who did things together.
They couldn't know.
- Do we go?
- Are you nuts? Why?
- They've a proposition for us.
- I've propositions too.
But I won't set foot in Rome!
What if it's a good proposition?
We don't want to miss it.
- We'll have to go to find out.
- That's right.
They're good. They're really good.
Oh no, not again!
If he's scared, he's scared!
Come on.
If I was him,
I'd be more scared here.
WALES
We're talking federation,
KINGDOM OF LOGRES
we're talking interaction...
We suggest a quest.
BRITAIN
A what?
A quest, to show your courage
to your new king.
It's not compulsory
if you're not interested...
No, I'd say...
I'm interested in anything
if I understand it.
I've been explaining
for half an hour!
I hope you're not in a hurry.
If you expect him
to get it in one go...
Respect for the head of the family!
A family of morons!
If we were to do business together,
could we pay in two instalments?
- What?
- There's nothing to buy!
What are you on about?
The Cro-Magnon's catching on!
- What if we say no?
- You do as you like!
Will the offer stay open?
Is it open? Open to everyone?
I mean,
the duller knives in the draw.
Can they do an inquest?
- Quest.
- What?
Quest.
Right, so...
You do your...
Your... whatever you said
and I'll do my inquest.
How about that?
I take the trouble to cook for you!
The least you can do
is stay at the table and eat!
I'll do it!
I'm going on an adventure!