10x08 - Butterfly in Shades of Grey

[bunniefuu]

ANNOUNCER: Coming up,
direct from his Los Angeles studio,

the hard-hitting, controversial
commentator and analyst Fielding Chase,

who plays no favorites,

pulls no punches
and tells it like it is.

Stay tuned.

We shall return following a
word from your local station.

GERRY: Come on,
Lois, put me through.

Yeah, I know the
show's on the air.

Screw the show.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Look, Vicky was supposed to meet
me and this guy here a half-hour ago.

I mean, what the hell
am I supposed to tell him?

Okay, fine. Never mind.

(APPLAUSE)

So? She's not coming.

I'm sorry, Lou,

the old guy's got
her scared to death.

Yeah, that I could tell by the
time I got to page 10 of her novel.

Love and hate, all wrapped
up in one neat package.

So stick around another
day. I can't, Gerry.

I promised Mary and the kids

I'd spend some
time up at the lake.

Yeah, but you are gonna
show Englander the book?

As soon as I get back.

You're sure it's all right,
with the author, I mean?

Yeah, why wouldn't
it be all right?

Look, Lou, Vicky's
another Ayn Rand

trying to bust loose
from her cocoon,

and you and me
are gonna help her.

Me, I understand. I'm a literary
agent. What's your angle?

Personal. Oh. You
mean Fielding Chase.

Well, if you're so mad at
him, why don't you quit?

I need the money. You
always need the money.

By the way, I was sorry
to hear about Murray.

I know you guys were
together along time.

Yeah. Anybody new?

Mmm. Yeah.

There's Ted. He's an actor.

Works on a daytime soap opera.

Well? Serious?

No. Murray was pretty special.

It's gonna take some
time to work things out.

Come on, let's order. Good idea.

MAN 1: (ON PHONE)
What I mean, Fielding,

is like, you know, man,
you're always saying

these phonies in Congress,

they gotta get their
act together, right?

I mean, like, you know, I
mean, like, man, the poor.

Because wow, well, when
you think about it, you know,

you think about
I, I do, we all do.

I mean, we're talking about,
there's a lot of money there.

I mean, like, the deficit?

Wow, man. The kids are
gonna have to pay for it, right?

FIELDING: I know exactly what
you mean, my inarticulate friend.

But you know as well as I do

that unless and until the President
is empowered with a line item veto,

this country will continue to
hemorrhage hundreds of millions of dollars

on dams for rivers that
don't need damming

and roads that lead nowhere.

Thanks for the call.

This is Charlie from
Independence, Missouri.

Hello, Charlie. MAN 2:
(ON PHONE) Hi, Fielding.

A big handshake from the
home town of Harry Truman,

the last good president we
had. Well, that's debatable.

But since I don't like
to speak ill of the dead,

let's move on
to a livelier topic.

But I wanna talk
about Harry Truman.

Well, I don't. Goodbye, Charlie.

Margaret from Blossom,
Texas. You're on the air.

WOMAN: (ON PHONE) Fielding,
you dear man, I'll be 80 Tuesday.

Well, bless you, my darling,

and happy birthday to you.

Why, thank you.

You know, all this stuff
I keep hearing about

this big hole in the
sky over Antarctica,

it's frightening me.

Oh, yes. The mysterious
ozone depletion.

I'll tell you what, my darling.

I'm gonna send you
a copy of my book.

You read chapter nine.

It absolutely destroys the
environmental Chicken Littles

who would scare
decent people like you.

Thank you for your call, and
God bless you, sweetheart.

That was Margaret
from Blossom, Texas.

And speaking of large holes

filled with nothing
but a vacuum,

my guest next
Wednesday, the 14th,

is none other than that
distinguished senator from back east.

Do you know who
I'm talking about?

The Honorable Gordon Madison,

who will demonstrate to you
good people once and for all

why he should be
banished permanently

to those good old
cotton fields back home.

So, what happened?

God, I told you,
I couldn't come.

Then you said you'd
get a replacement.

Well, I couldn't, that's all.

When I told him I wanted the
night off, he had a terrible fit.

I bet he did.

Oh, come on, Gerry. I can
see one of your friends any time.

Look, Vicky, Lou Cayton
is more than just a friend.

He's a literary agent.

And he loves your book. My book.

You showed him my book? Gerry, I
gave that to you to read, nobody else.

Yeah, what were you
going to do with it, anyway?

Leave it on your closet
shelf for the next 30 years?

Vicky, he loves it!
He thinks it's brilliant!

Oh, look, that's
very flattering, but...

But what? What? Are
you worried about him?

Vicky, you are not his property.

You've got to get
on with your life.

There's a big, terrific
world out there.

Fielding Chase.
News next. Back in five.

ENGINEER: And we're out.

Oh! Mr. Winters!

I was under the impression you
were back east tracking down a story.

A rumor, Fielding,
and it was tracked.

You got my report.
It was a dead end.

I don't agree. When
I see wisps of smoke

curling up and around Gordon
Madison's elegant coiffure

can flame be far behind?

I busted my butt on that
cockamamie lead you handed me.

It was nothing, and
you know it was nothing.

You see how they
turn on me, Victoria?

Two years ago, I plucked
this fellow from a police b*at

at a second-rate
newspaper in a third-rate city.

Taking me from total obscurity to
complete anonymity. Thanks, Fielding.

Mr. Winters, I do not
suffer ingrates well.

Perhaps it's time to
terminate our arrangement.

Dad, please. What, I'm fired?

Good! Thanks again.

I could use the severance pay.

To say nothing of the unemployment
checks for as long as they last.

Let's go, Victoria. We
have less than 60 seconds.

Look, Vicky,
I'll call you later.

Mr. Winters, you
will not call her later.

How about if she decides that?

Do you have to keep goading
him like that? No, Victoria...

Okay, so you're both a
couple of pigheaded egotists,

and tomorrow you'll hire
him back again, as usual.

Not this time, Victoria.

Six seconds, Mr. Chase.

Dad... Not now, Victoria.

Four, three, two...

And we're back for another
hour of National Focus.

Your obedient
servant, Fielding Chase,

ready and able to chat
with the brightest of you.

Fuzzybrains and the inarticulate
need not bother dialing.

The valuable time of my
tens of millions of listeners...

(PHONE RINGING)

...Is far too precious to
waste on chatting about

your latest
gallbladder operation.

Hi. This is National Focus. What do
you want to speak to Fielding about?

Mmm-hmm. And what's your name?

(FIELDING CONTINUES SPEAKING)

FIELDING: Don't tell
me what he said, Phil.

The Senator contradicts
himself every time he says hello.

PHIL: (ON PHONE)
This happens next week?

Next Wednesday night.

And I intend to tear that
pretentious popinjay to shreds.

Why is he even doing your show?

He's doing the program
because he wants to be reelected.

He's also operating
under the delusion

that he can best
me in a battle of wits.

Fat chance. My
sentiments exactly.

Double-check the quote
he made to the unions

so I can read it back
to him, word for word.

You mean that
Teamsters quote? Exactly.

Thank you, Phil.

Oh, that smells good.

It's a peace offering on
behalf of Gerry Winters.

My God.

What is your
interest in that man?

It can't be romantic.

He's a friend, that's all.

No, Victoria. He's a
cheap, no talent hustler

who's using you to
further his own ambition.

Dad, he's not like that.
How would you know?

You're still just a child.

For God's sake,
I'm 25 years old.

Anyway, um...

"Anyway, um," what?

Well, look, you're gonna find
out sooner or later anyway.

I've written a book. A novel.

A novel?

I'm stunned.

I know you don't
approve. I didn't say that.

I'm surprised, that's all.

Gerry's found me an agent. And
he thinks it's good, very good, Dad,

and he says, he can
find me a publisher.

Victoria, I couldn't be
happier or prouder of you.

I just wish you had let me
read it before some stranger.

Well, I guess I was afraid you
wouldn't think it good enough.

That's nonsense. Besides,
what I think of it isn't the point.

This agent, is he any good?
His name is Lou Cayton

and he's with Lionel
Englander in New York.

Englander!

Well! He's the best.

Lionel and I go way back.

If you need any
help, count on me.

I have an extra copy upstairs.

I'll put it on your nightstand.

Of course.

(PHONE RINGING)

Yeah? LOU: Yeah
yourself, old buddy.

Hey, Lou. Where are you?

In my office. Where else?

What happened to Mary
and the kids at the lake?

Sally got tonsillitis and we just
found out the lake was polluted.

Listen, Gerry, when I
got back four days ago,

I took Victoria's novel in to
Englander's office like I promised.

And? He hated it.

That's a bunch of crap.

I know. There's something else.

When I was in Englander's
office this morning,

he got a call from
Fielding Chase.

These two guys are old friends.

There might be a
connection, here.

There can't be. Chase
doesn't even know about it.

Are you sure about that?

(SIGHING)

(ALL LAUGHING)

Now if you'll allow
me to conclude

on this note of levity,

even a talk show host knows
when to leave them begging.

I'll thank you all
for allowing me

to spend these all too
brief moments with you.

God bless you all.

Thank you.

Thank you, Fielding, for sharing
your thoughts with us today.

And in appreciation, the
Alfred Kentworth Realty Group

would like to present you
with this check for $25,000,

a donation to the
Fielding Chase Foundation

to help you continue
your good work.

Thank you.

Fielding!

Good afternoon, Mr. Winters.

And good afternoon.

That was quite a
performance in there, Fielding.

25,000 bucks, jeez!

Last time I looked,

you were about to barbecue
those guys over an open fire.

I guess money talks, huh?

If that's an
accusation, my friend,

be prepared to
back it up in court.

Look, how those schmucks
waste their money is their business.

I wanna talk about Vicky's book.

Book? I don't... Look, I just
talked to my friend in New York.

You had her novel
rejected. That's a lie.

Want me to prove it? I'm a pretty
good investigator, remember?

I'm warning you, once my friend,

stay away from things that
are none of your business.

Vicky is my
business. I think not.

Her future is with me,

not off pursuing

some meaningless pipe
dream of a literary career.

You know what your
problem is, Fielding?

You're a sick,
possessive old man.

You want her
tied to you forever.

She's my child. She's not your
child, she's your foster daughter.

And you want my opinion, your attitude
towards her isn't exactly fatherly.

(GERRY LAUGHING)

I guess, that must've hit
pretty close to home, huh?

Stay away from her, Winters!

Why, what are you
gonna do? k*ll me?

How? Talk me to death? Yes!

Let me tell you
something, old man.

I'm not only going to take
you down professionally,

I'm gonna take
away Vicky as well.

You count on it.

Disgruntled employee. (CHUCKLES)

Ex-employee.

Quite honestly, Mr. Chase, the
Senator is doing this broadcast

against my advice.

Afraid he can't handle himself?

I could always
debate an empty chair.

Come to think of it, the chair
might be more responsive.

The Senator is more than capable
of handling you and your listeners

providing we're playing
on a level field. Meaning?

Meaning, no dirty
tricks, Mr. Chase.

No rigged phone calls.

I don't need any help
out thinking the Senator.

But I won't be tossing
him any softballs either.

No, I don't suppose you will.
(ELEVATOR DOOR OPENING)

Until Wednesday, then.

This is going to be fun.

Oh, by the way, I heard from
Senator Clavin this morning.

He's looking for a guest spot
a couple of weeks from now.

Call his people and see
if we can work things out.

I can't.

I mean, look, I'm not gonna
be here in a couple of weeks.

What do you mean?

I mean I'm flying to New
York next Tuesday with Gerry.

But why? You know why.

He told me what happened.
The fight in the hotel,

how you k*lled my book
with Englander. No, Victoria.

No, don't tell me no,
Dad. Don't lie to me.

You told me you liked it.

I do. It's good.

But I know in my heart,

as you do,

it's not the best work
you're capable of.

Do you understand the
position you're in, child?

As my foster daughter, you
will come under terrible scrutiny.

My enemies will be waiting
to carve you into pieces

to hurt me by hurting you.

Dad, I'm not sure that's
true. Well, I am, Victoria.

When your mother
d*ed 15 years ago,

I gave you more than my name.

I took you into my
home and my heart.

And I swore that I would
do everything in my power

to nurture you and protect you.

Dad... Don't you understand,

everything I've done
has been for you?

And when I'm gone,
everything I have will be yours.

I'm sorry. Look, I'm grateful.

You know how grateful I am.

But this is something
I have to do.

Come on, Dad. It's not like
I'm running away from home.

You'll always be a
big part of my life.

But, please, you
have to let me do this.

Hello. Hello, Gerry.

Fielding Chase.

I've just talked to Victoria.

Yeah, well look, if you've
called to thr*aten me again...

No, no, no. Nothing like that.

Oh, Gerry, I'm so sorry.

I lost my temper and I said
some things I shouldn't have.

Yeah, well, I can't help you,
Fielding, She's determined to go.

I know, and I won't
try and stop her.

I just want to work things
out as amicably as possible.

Meaning what?

I think I can be
helpful to both of you.

Look, Gerry, I'd like
to meet you tomorrow,

say, late in the day.

Would you do me a favor, would
you call me at the house at 400

and we can arrange
to get together?

Gerry, I can't b*at
you on this one.

I just want to
salvage something.

Okay. I'll call you.

Tomorrow, 4:00.

I'll be waiting for your
call. And thanks, Gerry.

You won't be unhappy. I promise.

(DIAL TONE)

Okay. So it's all set. Yeah.

Vicky and I will be flying
in Tuesday afternoon.

I got us booked at the Wyndham.

Chase can't be
too happy. He's not.

Neither was Ted.

You broke it off?

This morning.

He actually took it pretty
well. I think he saw it coming.

(CHUCKLES) Lou, Lou,
you're not hearing me.

I don't want a dime for this.

Oh, come on, Gerry.
Not even a finder's fee?

Me? Yeah, well...
I'll find something.

To tell you the truth,
this job's been making me

feel real dirty for a
real long time now.

No, nothing. I mean it.

Look, I'm doing this for Vicky.

The kid needs a break.

Yeah, I remember. But
hey, what's money anyway?

Look, if things
get really rough,

I can always write a book.

Look, old buddy, I gotta run.

The old man wants
me to call him.

I don't know. Some
last-ditch attempt to save face.

It's not gonna work,
but what the hell,

it'll be fun to hear him grovel.

(GERRY LAUGHING) Right.

I'll see you Tuesday. Bye-bye.

(DIALING PHONE)

(PHONE RINGING)

(BEEPING)

FIELDING: (ON MACHINE)
This is Fielding Chase.

I can't come to the
phone right now,

but please leave your
name and number.

(BEEPING)

GERRY: Fielding, it's Gerry.

You wanted me to call. Okay.

Gerry! Oh! I'm sorry.

I was outside when I
heard the phone ring.

Yeah, so what's
the deal, Fielding?

I've been hanging
around here alone

for the last hour
waiting to make this call.

I know. I'm sorry.

If you wanna know the truth...

(GERRY GRUNTS)

Gerry! What happened!

I thought I heard sh*ts!

Answer me!

Gerry, are you all right?

(THUDDING)

OPERATOR: 911, emergency.

I think a man has been sh*t!

sh*t, sir? I was talking
to him on the phone,

and then I heard
the sound of sh*ts,

and then he didn't respond!

Take it easy, sir. To
whom were you speaking?

His name is Gerry Winters.

986 Amethyst
Road. The Palisades.

I'm on my way there now.

And what is your name, sir?

Fielding Chase. 24600
Cold Creek Road, Malibu.

We'll send a unit
immediately. Please hurry!

(SIRENS WAILING)

Officer, I'm well
aware I'm being a pest,

but you did say a homicide
detective is on his way?

Yes, sir. Should have
been here by now.

You know, Mr. Chase, I'm not
sure you really have to stick around,

I mean, considering
who you are and all.

I could just give the Lieutenant
your name and number.

No, it's important that
I talk to him personally.

MAN: Davis! Excuse me.

(CAR BACKFIRING)

There you are, Lieutenant.

Hey, Davis. What have we got?

White male named
Gerald Winters, age 31.

sh*t twice in the
back, once in the head.

Doc says he was probably
dead when he hit the floor.

g*n's over there.

I know this is a silly question,

but I don't suppose
we got a witness?

Funny you should ask.

You're kidding. Not
an eyewitness, sir.

An ear witness.

Lieutenant.

See the fellow in the Mercedes?
His name is Fielding Chase.

He's got a radio show.
Maybe you heard it.

No, I don't think I have.

He was on the phone talking with
the victim when the guy got sh*t.

No kidding! Yes, sir.

You mean on that
phone that he's got there?

No, sir. He was at
his house in Malibu.

Oh.

You know, I'm thinking
of getting me one of them.

What's that?

One of those
whatchamacallit phones,

like he got. Um...

Cellular. Uh, cellular.
Cellular phone, yeah.

What do you think they cost?

Jeez, I don't know.

You know, there's talk,

oh, I don't believe it, that you
can get cancer from using them.

You believe that? Cancer? Nah!

Nah. I don't know.

I'm gonna check with
my cousin Dominic,

'cause wherever he goes

he's got one of those
things stuck in his ear,

and I don't see no tumor
growing under his brain.

(LAUGHING)

Yeah, at the beach
and in his car...

With his stockbroker
all day long.

Yak, yak, yak, yak.

He says the phone
made him a lot of money.

Have you got a
stockbroker, Lieutenant?

Who, me? No, I'm lucky
I've got a savings account.

No, I'm thinking
of calling my wife.

Hello. It's me.

Guess where I'm calling from.

Wrong. The car.

(LAUGHING)

Lieutenant, Mr. Chase is
real anxious to talk to you.

Just let me look around here.

Thank you. We'll
call you if we have to.

No, Arthur, I am not
using Gerry's death,

and I resent the implication.

The man was an
investigator in my employ

and there might be a connection.

Would you mind? This
is a very important call.

Oh. I didn't realize. Sorry.

I'll just wait here, sir.

Arthur, do you want
me to spell it out for you?

cr*ck investigator, k*lled
under mysterious circumstances.

What were the stories
he was working on?

Was he sh*t to keep him quiet?

Oh, I don't know.
"Fielding Chase outraged.”

"Determined to
see justice done."

Good. Call me at home later.

We'll talk about setting
up a press conference.

Uh... Mr. Chase?

I'm sorry, I don't
have time right now.

I'm from the police, sir.

Lieutenant Colombo, Homicide.

I'm terribly sorry, Lieutenant.

This has been a dreadful
experience for me.

Did the officer inside
tell you what happened?

Uh, yes. He told me
you and the victim

were talking on the
phone when he was sh*t.

Bizarre!

I heard all these noises, sh*ts!

Then I called out his name.

No response. Nothing.

As soon as I realized what
had happened, I called 911

and I drove over
here immediately.

The police were here when I
arrived. When was that, sir?

I'm not sure
exactly. About 4:30.

Gerry called 4:00.

I live in the Malibu
mountains, about 30 minutes.

It's about right.

Officer Davis tells me that you
have some kind of a radio show.

Yes.

It's a listener call in show.

Our topics are
social, political.

Gerry was my chief investigator.

I couldn't help overhearing
that conversation you had

with this fella Arthur, now.

I just wanted to ask
you, do you really believe

that Mr. Winters
could have been k*lled

by someone he was investigating?

Without question. I have
powerful enemies out there.

Either that...

or he was sh*t in the
back by a jealous boyfriend.

A boyfriend, sir? Yes.

Gerry was gay, Lieutenant.

Not that his sexual orientation
made any difference to me.

But those people do have a
reputation for unusual behavior.

I wouldn't know, sir.

Most of my experience
has been with

crazy husbands k*lling wives
and crazy wives k*lling husbands.

Yes, I know what you mean.

In the event that Gerry's
death was related to his work,

I have files at home.

Why don't you come back with me

and I'll turn them over to you.

They could provide
you with leads.

Oh! That's very generous, sir,
but I still have work to do here.

No problem. I'll
wait right here.

You sure it's no
bother? Not at all.

What matters most is
bringing Gerry's k*ller to justice.

Take whatever time you
need. Yes, sir. Absolutely.

Oh, one more thing, sir.

Officer Davis tells me that you
never actually went inside the house.

No. I wasn't permitted.

Uh, it's a little
odd, sir, because...

just a second ago you said
Mr. Winters had been sh*t in the back.

Yes. I was wondering...

Just wondering

how you knew that, sir, when
you hadn't seen the body?

I presume,

if Gerry saw someone standing
in his house with a g*n in his hand,

he might have made some
small mention of it to me

while I was speaking with him.

Aha! Yeah, good point.

You're absolutely right, sir.

Excuse me. I'll just
be a few moments.

Whew!

Wow! This is some house, sir!

Yes. It took me nearly
four years to build.

You don't have a
drip, do you? Drip, sir?

An oil leak.

I'm particular about the
appearance of my driveway.

Oh, you mean my car? No,
sir, she's fine. Tight as a drum.

I just had her checked a
month ago. I'm relieved.

My feeling is, you got a
classic, you take care of it.

No, sir. You don't have
to worry about that baby.

(DOOR OPENING)

I have some material
here in the desk.

Yes. Here we are.

Here's something we were
doing on chemical wastes.

Another, payoffs
to state legislators.

That's odd. I thought there
was more material here at home.

VICTORIA: Dad?

My daughter.

Victoria! In here!

Oh, my God! I just heard what
happened to Gerry on the news!

I know.

I know. I just came
back from there.

This is Lieutenant Colombo
of the Homicide Division.

My daughter, Victoria. Ma'am.

I was talking to him on the
phone when it happened.

Oh, my God... Yes.

Victoria, there's a
possibility that Gerry's death

might be connected with a
story that he was investigating.

I'm turning over his
files to the Lieutenant.

We think there
might be a lead here.

Oh.

I don't know about
the two of you,

but I certainly feel the
need for a stiff drink.

Victoria? No. Thank you.

Lieutenant? I'm on duty, sir.

Right. Well, if
you'll excuse me.

Oh, Victoria, see if there
are any messages, will you?

I forgot to check the machine.

My condolences, ma'am. I
gather you were close to the victim.

Yes. Very.

ANSWERING MACHINE:
You have four messages.

First message. Time, 4:02p.m.

GERRY: Fielding. It's Gerry.

That's Gerry and Dad.
You wanted me to call. Okay.

That's the victim? Mr. Winters?

That's him talking? Yes.

FIELDING: ...outside
when I heard the phone ring.

GERRY: Yeah, so,
what's the deal, Fielding?

I've been hanging around here alone for
the last hour waiting to make this call.

FIELDING: I know. I'm sorry.
GERRY: If you wanna know the truth,

I don't think...
(sh*ts BEING FIRED)

FIELDING: Gerry! Oh, my God.

Turn it off! I thought
I heard sh*ts!

Oh, Victoria, I'm so
sorry. I completely forgot.

I picked up Gerry's call just as
the machine started to record.

Poor girl. I am such an idiot!

This is incredible, sir. We
have the m*rder on tape.

I was outside when I
heard the phone ringing.

By the time I got in, the machine
had already started to record.

Lieutenant, please forgive me.

I must go be with my daughter.

Oh, I understand, sir.

You realize, I'm going to have
to take the tape? Yes, of course!

There might be something
on here that will give us

a lead to the k*ller.

I don't know just what.

Lieutenant...

I want this person, this fiend

brought to justice, no
matter what it costs.

I'm prepared to offer
a substantial reward.

That's very generous of you,
sir. It may not be necessary.

If there's anything I
can do, anything at all,

I'm at your disposal
24 hours a day.

Thank you, sir. I appreciate it.

Once again, my deepest
sympathies on your loss.

Thank you very much.

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

FIELDING: Victoria. It's open.

Victoria, I'm so sorry.

You should never
have had to hear that.

I didn't realize until it
was too late. It's all right.

The person who did this,

I promise you, I will see it

that he's brought to justice,

however long it takes,
however much it costs.

I know you have your
heart set on leaving Tuesday,

and if you still want to
go, I won't try and stop you.

It's not important,
Dad. Of course it is.

It's just that I'm as
devastated as you are.

I need you now more than ever.

Dad, don't worry
about it. I'll stay.

The rest of it can keep.

TED: There are many ways
you think a friend might die.

This isn't one of them.

Ted, why don't we sit down?

Just give me a moment, please.

Did you send a card? Yes, yes.

I don't know, Ernie...

Lieutenant? Oh,
good evening, ma'am.

I didn't expect to see you here.

Are you in the habit of attending
the memorials for your victims?

Oh, not as a rule, ma'am.
Actually, this is in the line of duty.

Is there some place we can talk?

Out there?

That'll be fine.

Ma'am, I thought, maybe
you could help me because...

Well, you and the victim
were close friends and...

Well, I do have this problem.

What sort of
problem, Lieutenant?

The house where
Mr. Winters lived,

at the time of the
m*rder we ascertained

that all doors and
windows were locked,

no sign of forcible entry,

which led me to believe
that either he let his k*ller in,

which is unlikely,

or the k*ller had a key.

Yes?

Which would indicate a friend.

A close friend.

We checked the telephone records

and there were a great many
calls to a Theodore Malloy.

Ted? Yes, he and
Gerry were close.

Uh-huh. When you
say "close," ma'am...

I mean very close.

Yes, ma'am. I've
been led to believe that.

I just want to make sure we're
talking about the same thing.

They were lovers, Lieutenant.

Is that what you're
trying to ask me?

Yes, ma'am. Something like that.

This Mr. Malloy,

would he have a key
to Mr. Winters' home?

Well, yes, I suppose he would.

Yes, I'm sure he
does, Lieutenant.

As a matter of fact, so do I.

You, ma'am? Really? Yes.

We'd often work on stories
together, sometimes at his home.

Our relationship was professional.
And he was a good friend.

Oh! I never thought
anything else.

This key of yours, ma'am,
do you have it now?

Yes. It's in my purse.

You know what's funny.

When I arrived at the house yesterday
after hearing about Gerry's death,

I thought I'd lost it. It didn't
seem to be on my key ring.

But I guess I was just distraught.
So you do have the key?

Oh, yes. It was on my key
ring this morning when I awoke.

I must've just overlooked it.

As I said, my state of
mind was not the best.

No, ma'am, I don't
suppose it was.

This Mr. Malloy...

Is he here now? Yes, but
it's not a very good time.

Perhaps you could speak to
him tomorrow, at the studio.

Studio? Oh, you and
he are co-workers?

No, not the radio studio.

Television.

Ted is an actor on
a daytime drama.

What's that, is that
like a soap opera?

Exactly.

Women Who Love.
Maybe you've heard of it?

Uh... No, ma'am, no, I haven't.

Maybe my wife.

She's crazy about those things.

Ma'am, do you mind if I ask you

where you were at the
time of the sh**ting?

Why? Am I under suspicion?

No, ma'am, nothing like that.

But you do have a key,

and I'm interested in
anybody that's got a key.

Well, I spent the whole
afternoon at the radio station

prepping a program
that we're doing

this Wednesday evening
with Senator Madison.

A senator? Wow. That's
some kind of radio show.

Oh, yes.

My father is heard
every weeknight

on 468 stations
throughout the country.

And here I thought he was some
kind of disk jockey or something.

You know, to tell you the truth, I
don't listen to the radio anymore.

No, the music, I
don't understand it.

Perry Como and Louis
Armstrong, that I can understand,

but these rock guys,
they give me an earache.

Well, thank you
very much, ma'am.

I won't trouble you anymore.

It's no trouble, Lieutenant.

Oh, ma'am! Just one other thing.

Do you usually go in to the
radio station on weekends?

No. Hardly ever. Except yesterday
was a special circumstance.

Oh, so you decided to go in
and just do some extra work?

No, my father decided.

Oh, so it was his
idea that you work

in the radio station
during that afternoon?

Yes.

Why? Is that important?

No, ma'am, no.
Not important at all.

Thanks again.

All right. Listen up, folks!

We are running way
behind! Let's go! Let's go!

Come on, people,
stay alive! Bear with me!

You, with the baseball cap!

Come on, come on.
Pay attention, please.

We don't have
a lot of time here.

Let's go! Look alive, people.

Close the door, Preston.

All right, my homeless people!

The rest of my homeless people!

Homeless people!

Excuse me, miss. I'm
looking for... Over there.

Over there? No,
I'm looking for...

Over there and please
hurry. You're late.

I'm late?

PRESTON: Hey! Let's go,
folks. You, over there on the box.

You two, sitting down.
You, out of the way.

All right now, Jennifer
Chambers is going to be entering

the alley from this direction.

She's going to be wearing
a silk evening gown

there's going to be a
bloody bruise on her head,

she's going to seem
dazed and disoriented.

I want you to notice her,

but, for heaven's sake,
folks, please, don't try to act.

Uh, Preston, are we ready yet?

Uh! Yes, sir! Ready, right away!

I need another homeless
person for this wall.

You! You'll do fine.
Stand by the wall, please.

Are you talking to me, sir?

Yes. That's right,
that wall over there.

Thank you. Nice
shoes. I like the touch.

Roll tape!

I think there's some
mistake, sir. I'm from the, uh...

Okay, here we go.

DIRECTOR: Okay, good.

Good, good.

COLUMBO: Here it is!

What the hell was that?

Who the hell is that?
Who the hell is that?

I'm from the police, sir.

DIRECTOR: Oh, no! Cut, cut, cut!

What the hell do you
think you're doing?

Eric, believe it or not I'm trying
to act here, and this clown...

I will handle
this. You're fired.

Drop off your voucher,
you ruined the sh*t.

Another one of your
relatives, Preston? No, I'm...

I'm from the police, folks.

I tried to explain that.

You're a policeman? Yes, ma'am.

He's a cop!

Jennifer Chambers. This is
bizarre! Eric, he's from the police!

Who are you looking
for? Ted Malloy.

He's looking for Ted!

So go. Go to Ted.

Over there.

Over there? Yes.

Okay. Sorry.

Go. Go.

You got everything?
I'm awfully sorry. Yes.

My wife's a great fan
of yours. Thank you.

What's Ted done? Uh...

Let's go.

PRESTON: All
right, folks, let's go!

Back to one, now!

I need another
bum for this wall.

Let's go!

Mr. Malloy? Yes.

Uh, Lieutenant Colombo, LAPD.

Oh, yes.

Victoria told me
that you stopped by

the funeral home last
evening, Lieutenant.

How may I help you?

Is it all right if we
talk here? Yes.

'Cause I don't want
to bother anybody.

Is it all right? Feel free.

Good. I just want to
ask you a few questions.

Yes? I know you're busy.

Do you recognize this?

Take a good look.

No.

These brown stains, they
mean anything to you?

Oh, yes. This is...

Dried pancake makeup.

Yes, sir.

We found this handkerchief
snagged on arose bush

in back of Mr. Winters' home

and we think it was
left there by the k*ller.

Oh. I see.

Theatrical makeup,
SO you assume...

Oh, sir, I don't
assume anything.

We also found minute
traces of this makeup

on the g*n that
k*lled Mr. Winters.

Also on the rear door knob.

Lieutenant, I didn't k*ll him.

It is my understanding, sir,

that you and the
victim had a falling out.

No. We started seeing each
other around nine days ago,

but we knew that
was temporary at best.

And when he called to tell me
that he was going to New York,

I was upset.

Did Mr. Winters have other
friends that were actors?

Friends, no.

Acquaintances, perhaps.

Just for the record, sir,

where were you Saturday at 4:00?

Well, normally I would
be home alone, working.

I'm in the middle of
remodeling my home.

But this past Saturday I was
downtown at a department store.

Do you have anybody
that can vouch for that, sir?

Oh, yes. I would say about
a couple of hundred people,

to say the least.

See, at the last moment I was
joined by two other cast members,

and the three of
us were there from

3:00 until 5:00
signing autographs.

Does that cover it, Lieutenant?

Yes, sir. That
covers it just fine.

PRESTON: That's it, that's
a wrap. Homeless go home,

turn in your vouchers.

Well, of course I told
him I wasn't interested,

I mean, I had been taking off
my clothes in six straight pictures.

And we had decided it was time
to exhibit myself as an actress,

not some piece of meat.

So anyway, rather than lose
me, they just rewrote the scene.

It's a sensational
film, Fielding.

Oh, I'm sure it is, and I'm sure it will
give a boost to your career, Miss Ross.

Which brings me to
the topic of our lunch.

I've asked you to join me

to confirm the fact that several
years ago you had an affair

with Senator Gordon Madison.

What? No way. Never happened.

Certainly not.

I'm disappointed at your
lack of candor, my dear.

I have in my possession a
birth certificate which proves

that seven years ago, back east,

you secretly gave birth
to a child out of wedlock.

Oh, now, wait a
minute. After which

you immediately put the child,

a daughter, up for adoption.

What the hell is going
on here? DeeDee?

Mr. Chase, it's
not what you think.

My question, is the
child Senator Madison's?

No.

Oh, really?

I have two eyewitnesses
who will swear

that Senator Madison visited
you not once but several times,

during your confinement
at St. Ann's Home.

Yes, that's true.

I'm sorry, Howard I
should have told you,

but it was seven years
ago, for God's sake.

And you were seventeen
at the time, legally a minor.

Look, the baby was
not the Senator's.

My mother worked for
him. As a housekeeper.

When he found out what
happened, he offered to help.

Because that's just
the kind of guy he is.

He paid a few bills and
helped find a home for the baby.

I see. It's the truth.

The baby's father was
a boy I knew in school.

Neither one of us
was ready for marriage.

Look, I know this is news,

but does it have to come out?

I mean, I made a mistake.

But don't screw up
the rest of my life.

Hardly my intention, my dear.

The purpose of our
lunch was to get the facts.

Now that I have them,
you have nothing to fear.

That's very decent of you,
Fielding. Not at all, Howard.

Now, may I suggest you
get Miss Ross out of here

before she attracts anymore
attention to herself than she already has.

You bet.

C'mon, kid, let's go
get you cleaned up.

And DeeDee, say
thank you to the man.

Thanks.

Waiter. More coffee.

Yes, sir.

Collier, I've just confirmed
the story. It's as I suspected.

You call in at 8:45
on the back line.

Victoria will patch you
through immediately.

And if we need to chat
any further, I'll call you.

(PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY)

(BEEPING)

Excuse me, sir,
but may I help you?

I don't think so,
but thanks anyway.

How are you, Mr. Chase?

Well, thank you,
Lieutenant. Please join me.

Fritz!

Oh, thank you very much.

Say hello to Lieutenant Columbo of
the Los Angeles Police Department, Fritz.

Delighted to meet
you, Lieutenant.

Uh, it's nice meeting you, sir.

Would you care to
join me in some coffee?

Uh, no, thank you.

Dessert, perhaps? No, I'm fine.

Well, actually, could I have
a cup of tea with honey?

Would that be too much
trouble? Not at all, Lieutenant.

Thank you very much.

I have a tickle in my
throat. Got a cold coming on.

You know how it
is this time of year.

My wife's been playing
nursemaid to me.

She's been filling me with
tea and honey for a week now.

Do you feel any better? Uh,
no, sir, but I don't feel worse.

My wife, she likes to play
nursemaid, it makes her happy.

And when she's happy, I'm happy.

Well, Lieutenant,
what can I do for you?

Uh, how do you
like that thing, sir?

What? The phone.

I'm thinking of buying
one. Indispensable.

Really. Uh, have you heard...
You know, there's people

that are saying that you can get cancer from
those things. The radiation in your ear.

Ridiculous.

It is, huh. It's just that, uh,

my wife saw this guy on
television, he said he grew a tumor.

One is liable to hear almost anything
on television these days, Lieutenant,

none of it necessarily true.

So you don't worry about it.
There's nothing to worry about?

Can we get down to business?

Oh, absolutely, sir, but
first I gotta apologize.

You know when I first met
you that day I had no Idea.

I mean, I found this in the barber
shop and when I saw your picture,

I'll tell ya, you could've knocked
me over with a ping pong ball.

How many people
listen to you every night?

10 million, 12 million?

That's fantastic. Thank
you, thank you very much.

And you know when I
told my wife that I met you,

she says, "You know who
listens to this guy every night?

"Your cousin Dominic." She says
Dominic, he never misses your show.

Not for a Dodger game.
Not even for the Lakers.

Very flattered.

Uh, sir, I wonder, would you be
so kind as to sign this to Dominic?

Just "To Dominic,"
nothing fancy.

And then put your name.

Yeah, he'll get
a kick out of this.

Dominic, he don't
have much of a life.

And now, can we get to
the point? If there is one.

Oh, yes, sir.

Uh, it's about the tape on
your answering machine.

We listened to that over and
over. There's nothing there.

There's no kind of clue.

Too bad. Yeah.

You can hear the k*ller
approach the body, hesitate,

probably to check
if it was dead.

And you can just make out him
leaving through the back door.

So we figure that's
how he came in and out.

Through the back.

Makes sense.

A shrewd k*ller would
hardly park his car out front

and prance through the front
door where anyone could see him.

(CHUCKLES) Right, right.

Oh, and by the way,

we found a handkerchief.

What handkerchief?

Your tea, sir. Oh,
thank you very much.

Mmm, smells terrific.

Yeah, there was this
handkerchief out back,

it was stuck on a rose bush.

Stained with theatrical makeup.

And we found traces
of this same makeup

on the g*n handle
and the rear doorknobs.

Yes, I heard that Gerry
was involved with an actor.

Oh, is that what you think, sir?

That he was k*lled by an actor?

Well, it's a natural conclusion.

A lover's spat.
These things happen.

Well, this
particular actor, uh...

Oh, what's his name, um...

Twist it.

Oh, there you go. (CHUCKLES)

Yeah, this is something.
Never saw that before.

Well, I live and learn, yeah.

Uh, this particular
actor, yes. A Mr. Malloy...

We cleared him, sir.

Did you? He's got
a rock solid alibi.

Lucky fellow.

Unless, of course, he
hired somebody to do it.

Which, I mean, that's something
that a really clever k*ller might do.

Establish an unshakeable
alibi for himself

while somebody else
does the dirty work.

Oh, this is hot.

And that's just
the way I like it.

Anything I can't stand
is lukewarm tea...

Anyway, sir, um...

Can you think of somebody else

who might have had a
motive to k*ll Mr. Winters?

Besides yourself, of course.

What the hell are
you talking about?

The hotel, the other day.

You threatened the victim, sir.

In front of a dozen witnesses.

Oh, I see, yes.

I lose my temper,
say something silly

and a gaggle of tourists
take me at face value.

Really, Lieutenant,
you can't be serious.

I have a short temper.

I must have fired and
hired Gerry Winters

a dozen times over
the past few years.

Well, if you say so,
sir. But I gotta tell you,

it's a lucky thing for you you
were on the phone with the guy

when he got k*lled.

I mean, another homicide detective
could've taken that thr*at to heart.

Well, I hate to cut this short, but
I'm due back at the radio station.

Please. You, uh,
finish your tea,

and if there's anything
else, don't hesitate.

I won't, and thank you
very much. The tea is terrific.

I'm feeling better already.

COLUMBO: Oh, uh, Mr. Chase!

Excuse me, sir...

Just one more thing, sir.

And what would that be?

Uh, it's about the
files, Mr. Winters' files.

Yes. I was talking
to your daughter, sir,

and she told me
that most of his files

were back at the office
and not at your house.

So? Uh, just curious, sir,

if that's true, why you
took me back to your house

and not the radio station?

Lieutenant, it's true that
most of the complete files

are back at the radio station.

But I knew that my daughter
was working there at that time.

And, forgive me if
this sounds cowardly,

but I didn't want to be the one

to have to tell her
what had happened.

If there's nothing
more, you'll excuse me.

Uh, certainly, sir. Sorry
to bother you. Thank you.

And thanks again for the tea!

Yes? Excuse me, Miss Chase?

I'm Lou Cayton. Oh, yes.

Since I haven't been able to
get through to you on the phone,

I flew out here this morning.

Your receptionist told
me where I could find you.

Look, Mr. Cayton...
I'm sorry about Gerry.

He was a wonderful
friend. To both of us.

Yes, he was.

Well, I'm sure he told you
how much I admire your novel.

Yes, and I'm very
flattered. Thank you.

Yeah, but what's more... But...

I'd like to represent you.

But I was told my book
was rejected. (CHUCKLES)

It was, by the man
I used to work for.

I quit this morning.

Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Cayton,
you've taken a long trip for nothing.

Right now I can't
think of anything

except helping my father
through some difficult times.

And besides, he's promised
to find me a publisher.

You can't be serious.

Fielding Chase was the man who
had your book sabotaged at my agency.

Didn't Gerry tell you this?

That is a monstrous
accusation, Mr. Cayton.

Please, just leave me alone.

Miss Chase, I'm sorry.
Look, Miss Chase...

FIELDING: Yes, Warren. I'll
be sending you the manuscript

of my daughter's
novel early next week.

No, no, no, my friend. You're
under no obligation to like it.

Even though it is quite good.

In fact, if you could find it
in your heart to despise it

I'd be very grateful.

Well, Warren, I have
plans for my daughter

which do not include her
traipsing off to God knows where

like some latter
day Gertrude Stein.

And as New York's
preeminent publisher,

your rejection, kindly
but firmly couched,

might dissuade her
from pursuing this fantasy.

And for your help I
would be eternally grateful.

Well, thank you, Warren. A
pleasure chatting with you, as always.

Expect the manuscript
sometime next week.

Dad, what is this?

This week's issue of
the news report, I expect.

You know what I'm talking about.
The item at the bottom of the first page,

Ambassador Hendricks
and the drug cartel.

You know it isn't true. Do I?

Research checked this out
with three different sources.

These allegations are
completely unsubstantiated.

Unsubstantiated, maybe, but
true or false, the story has merit.

You can't do this.

Victoria, we're in a
w*r with these people.

The only way to b*at them
is to att*ck and expose.

att*ck and expose. I'll leave
the p*ssy-footing to the politicians.

My name is on the
masthead as associate editor.

I can't be a party
to this. I'm sorry.

Victoria.

Victoria, wait.
Victoria, Victoria.

I'm sorry. You're
absolutely right.

Does that mean the item's out?

Until I can have it
re-investigated. Satisfactory?

I suppose so.

Can we have a smile?

Big smile. Come on.

Dad. (LAUGHS)

Find something
to replace the item.

We go to press at midnight.
I'll see what we have.

(WHISTLING)

(HUMMING)

Oh, hello,
Mr. Chase. Lieutenant.

I've just gone over
Mr. Winters' case files.

Your daughter
said it was all right.

And have you come
up with anything?

Not much, sir, no. Well,

that's not exactly true. There
is one thing that bothers me.

Have you been burning ragweed
in here or did somebody die?

Oh, excuse me, sir.
That'd be my cigar.

Let me get rid of that.

Yeah, it's a filthy habit.

I should have given
it up a long time ago.

Oh, yeah. You know, even
my wife's been yelling at me.

The other night she
put me out on the porch.

No g*n? Beg your pardon, sir?

No g*n. You're a character.
I have to remember that.

(CHUCKLES) Thank you, sir.

FIELDING: You mentioned
there was one thing.

Uh, right, sir. And it
was nothing that I found.

It was something
that I didn't find.

FIELDING: What are you doing?

Well, I'm trying to
get the smell out, sir.

The windows don't
open. Forget the smell.

What was the one
thing you didn't find?

Well, sir, did you
know that, uh,

in all these file
folders, all 33,

there's only one that has
anything to do with an actor?

Actually, an actress. She
goes by the name of, uh...

Deirdre Ross.

I'm familiar with Gerry's
workload. What's your point?

My point, sir, is because
of the handkerchief.

You remember the
handkerchief? Yes, I remember.

It had theatrical makeup on it?

Yes, yes, I remember.

And there were traces
of this makeup on the g*n.

And on the door
handle. Yes, I remember.

Exactly. So my point is...

Is that... Oh, my goodness...

Smoke, sir...

Smoke. I'll just put
a little coffee on it.

Where was I. Oh, yes. My point.

My point, sir, is that

the presence of the handkerchief
rules out everybody in the files.

All 33 people.

What a sweeping statement.

Well, sir, I thought
like everyone else

that the handkerchief was
used to wipe off the prints.

Uh...

None of those
people in the files, sir,

none use theatrical makeup.

So there's no reason
for it to be there.

Why was it there?

There's no explanations
for it being there,

unless someone planted it
deliberately to point us at the actor.

I never thought of that.

Well, why would you?
I mean you wouldn't.

Buy why would that rule out all
the people in the file, all 33 of them?

I just don't know, sir,
how people like this...

Politicians in Washington,
Wall Street brokers...

How would these people know

that nine days ago Gerry and
Ted started a gay relationship.

I mean, those fellas,
they were very discreet.

I see. You're right, of course.

The k*ller would have to be
someone who knew Gerry personally.

There you go, sir.
That's the detective part.

Well, I wish I could help you,

but quite frankly, I knew very little
about Gerry outside of the office.

Our relationship
was strictly business.

But you were at his house.

You're mistaken.
I don't think so, sir.

No, I don't think
so. Yeah, here it is.

April second. Birthday party for
the deceased. Sunday afternoon.

Photo, you and your
daughter around the cake.

All right, I've
been to his house.

I thought you meant recently.

Oh, did I give that
impression, sir? I'm sorry.

But you were at his house
for that birthday party.

Oh yes, and a dull
and dreary affair it was.

If there's nothing more...

Not a thing, sir.
You go right ahead.

I'll just gather up these files
and return them to your daughter.

COLUMBO: Oh, uh, Mr. Chase.

There is, sir, just
one more thing.

With you, Lieutenant, there's
always just one more thing.

Do you have a problem
with short-term memory?

Perhaps you should
consult a physician.

Uh, maybe we could discuss
this privately in your office.

I don't have the time.

Sir, I'm having trouble
with the phone call.

Five minutes, but only five.

Here's the thing, sir.

We check phone records as a matter
of routine. For example, Mr. Winters.

He called the radio
station a lot, obviously.

Also Mr. Malloy. Also a
Mr. Lou Cayton, a literary agent.

Oh, and by the way,
I spoke to him briefly.

He says that he's interested in representing
a book written by your daughter.

Would you get to
the point. Sorry, sir.

Well, uh, we not only checked
out Mr. Winters' phone, sir,

we checked out yours.

Mine? Your house in the
mountains, out in Malibu.

And here's my problem, sir.

You said that you spoke with
Mr. Winters and that you heard sh*ts.

And then when he didn't
answer you called 911.

Then you got in your car and
you drove to Mr. Winters' house.

Well, sir, that's not true.

The phone company has no record

of your having made a
911 call from your house.

Is that it? Is that
your problem?

Good lord, Lieutenant, you waste
more time worrying about minutiae.

Uh, sir, I don't
think it's minutiae.

I never said I made
the call from the house.

Are you sure about
that? Absolutely.

I was so distraught
with what I'd heard

that I rushed out to the
car to drive to Gerry's.

It was only when I
was actually on the road

did I have the presence
of mind to notify the police.

I called 911 from the car phone.

From the car. Well, there
you go, sir. That explains it.

If that is finally it? And
that explains the other thing.

What other thing?

The time, sir. I'd really
been troubled by the time.

What the hell are
you talking about?

Well, sir, you have one of
those computer voice time codes

on your answering machine.

And when I played back the tape

I was able to place the time
of the sh*ts at exactly 4:02.

Yes, Gerry called
me precisely at 4:00.

And 911 has a record of
receiving your call at 4:06.

And I'm thinking all day what did
you do during those four minutes.

I mean four minutes
Is along time.

But, yes, now I
see what happened.

You heard the sh*ts, then
you ran from the house,

you got in your car, you
started the car down the road.

And then when I'd had the
chance to think more clearly,

I called police emergency.

You don't know how glad I
am to have this explained to me.

I was beginning to think I
was going out of my mind.

Well, sir, I don't wanna take any
more of your time, I know you're busy.

But I do want to thank
you. Thank you very much.

(CAR BACKFIRING)

(BUZZING)

Martha! Martha!

Good morning,
Mr. Chase. Good morning.

Is my daughter up
yet? I'd like to talk to her.

Oh, she left, sir.
Just as I was arriving.

She said she had some work
to catch up on at the office.

So early?

Would you like
some breakfast, sir?

No, later.

MARTHA: What's that, sir? Is
that smoke? (CAR BACKFIRING)

COLUMBO: Mr. Chase!

Mr. Chase! It's me!

Well, well, well, the
ubiquitous Lieutenant Columbo.

And it's only 8:47.
COLUMBO: Unlock the gate!

Martha, a funny little man from the Police
Department is gonna make an appearance.

COLUMBO: It's me, Lieutenant
Columbo! I'll be in the exercise room.

I'm at the gate.

Please open.

Thank you very much.

Sorry for the trouble.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

Good morning, ma'am. Lieutenant
Columbo. I'm here to see Mr. Chase.

Come in, he's expecting you.

May I take your coat,
sir? Uh, no, that's all right.

I don't think I'm
gonna stay long.

Uh, and your name
is... Martha, sir.

Hi, Martha.

I was here on Saturday.
I didn't see you, Martha.

I work only weekdays, sir.

Mr. Chase and his daughter
prefer their privacy on weekends.

This way, sir.

(NEWS JINGLE PLAYING ON TV)

MAN: (ON TV) Stay tuned for the
news at noon on WLDD, channel 6

following this public
service announcement.

(NATURE SOUNDS ON TV)

GIRL: He protects all
living things in the forest.

But he can't do it alone.

Good morning, sir.

Good morning, Lieutenant.

I hope I'm not intruding.
As a matter of fact, you are.

This is the time of day I
work on my muscle tone

as well as catch up
on the news of the day.

I have a very important
broadcast this evening.

Yeah, right, sir. The Senator.

I'll try and make this brief.

Just let me get rid of this.

Don't bother with the cigar,
Lieutenant, it's quite all right.

It'll just take a second, sir.

ANNOUNCER: News at noon.

Am I going crazy? Did
he say noon? It's just 9:00.

That's the east coast feed. Sir?

The satellite dish is picking
up an east coast station.

Satellite?

Yes, Lieutenant. Cable TV hasn't
yet reached into this wilderness.

Because of the mountains, we can't get a
decent picture from normal television signal.

Consequently, most of us
out here have a satellite dish.

Satellite. You know,
I've heard about those.

A fella told me, true? You can
get maybe 100 channels on this.

Try 200. You said
something about brevity.

Oh, yes, sir.

Would it be possible,
sir, to turn down the TV?

This is kind of important.

(SIGHS)

In the interest of
getting things going.

I'm having a problem,
sir, uh, with the key.

The key? What key?

It is my belief that
whoever k*lled Mr. Winters

let himself in unobserved with
a key through the back door.

But when we started checking around, there
weren't that many people with the keys.

I mean, he didn't, uh...

Perhaps there was no key. Perhaps
the k*ller was already in the house,

having been let
in earlier by Gerry.

Uh, no, sir. On the tape,

the victim very clearly
states that he was alone.

All right, there was a key.

What's that got to do with me?

With you, sir? Nothing.

But it may have a lot
to do with your daughter.

What about her?

We've been able to
identify only four people, sir,

that had keys to Mr. Winters'
apartment and all four

have unshakeable alibis.
All except your daughter.

(CHUCKLING)

My daughter was working that
afternoon at the radio station.

Uh, not exactly, sir.

She was working in
your offices in the building.

Working alone,

and very frankly, I
can't find anybody

who can verify her whereabouts

at the time of the sh*ts.

This is ridiculous.

She could have easily
come and gone undetected.

I mean, I can see
the scenario, sir.

She makes up some kind of excuse
about having to work in the offices.

Lieutenant, you're a fool.

Not only is your
notion preposterous,

but it was my idea that my daughter
spend the afternoon at the office.

Your idea? My idea.

And I can assure you my
daughter did not k*ll anyone.

Uh, just one more thing, sir,

just a little,
confused, small thing.

You keep calling
her your daughter,

but actually, sir, I understand
that that is not, uh, exactly true.

But she is my
daughter, Lieutenant.

Perhaps not biologically,
but in every other sense.

I took her into my
home when she was 10

and I raised her as my own.

Well, that was a very
generous thing to do, sir.

Generous? Selfish? I wonder.

Many years ago when
I was a very young man

I was very much in love
with Victoria's mother.

Stupidly, I let her
walk out of my life

and she married another man.

I kept track of her
through the years

and when her husband
d*ed, I went to see her.

I don't know what I expected...

Perhaps to rekindle a
flame that had never d*ed.

But I was too late.

She told me she had
cancer. Inoperable.

Only months to live.

I promised her that I would
raise Victoria as my own.

And I kept that vow, Lieutenant.

I love that child as if she
were my own flesh and blood.

Well, I understand your
depth of feeling, sir, and...

I'm going back to that
station and try my best to find

somebody who can clear her name.

You haven't heard me, Lieutenant.
Her name doesn't need clearing.

She's innocent.

And if you insist on
pursuing this lunacy,

you will indeed be a
very unhappy policeman.

Sir, I'm just trying
to do my job.

Well then, do it away
from me. And my daughter.

Sir, I could be
wrong, I realize that.

The light is dawning.
How encouraging.

Uh, yes, sir, now I recall,

she said to me at one point

that she'd temporarily
lost her key.

Well, there you are, you see?

Unfortunately, sir, that was
the afternoon of the m*rder.

That was a Saturday when
she drove up to the house,

and she thought the key
was gone from her key ring,

but it turned up
the next morning.

Which of course,
doesn't make any sense

because the only people in the
house at that time were her and you.

Is that some sort of accusation?

No, I think she probably
overlooked the key in the first place.

And it must have been
there the whole time.

Wouldn't you think?

Goodbye, Lieutenant. Can
you find your own way out?

Good.

You'll forgive me if I don't
wish you a very pleasant day.

FIELDING: This is Beth
from Carson City, Nevada.

BETH: I have a question for Senator
Madison. Go ahead. You're on the air.

Okay, I was just wondering how you think
you're going to get re-elected, Senator.

I mean, considering
your votes on ERA.

It's like you don't even
know or don't care.

Of course I care, Beth, but
I don't support any measure

which legislates benefits
to one particular group

whether they be male, female,
black, Hispanic or whatever

at the expense
of any other group.

Thank you, Senator Madison,
and thank you, Beth, for your call.

Local news next.
This is Fielding Chase,

here with Senator
Gordon Madison.

Back in five.

Thank you.

What do you think?

You've been
pulling your punches.

The calm before the storm.

In a few minutes a call will come in
on the back line. A man named Collier.

Patch him through and
put him at the top of the list.

Wait a minute, Dad. These
are supposed to be random calls.

This isn't fair. Victoria...

Stop acting like a child.

These things are
done all the time.

Right about now this
program needs a jolt

and Collier is gonna supply it.

Dad... Don't argue,
Victoria, just do it.

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

FIELDING: I want you to take
each one of these tapes and...

Excuse me, sir, I'm glad I
caught... Go away, Columbo.

Sir, if I could have
just one minute.

I don't have a minute. I
just want to apologize, sir.

I had a bad afternoon.
A very bad afternoon.

After you called the mayor,

the mayor called
the commissioner,

the commissioner
called my captain

and I was on the
carpet for an hour.

I told you this morning and I'm
telling you now, stay out of my life.

I just want you to
know how badly I feel.

I mean, if I had known
that I was bothering you...

You were, and you are.

Now, please leave before I call
security and have you removed.

My father's been under a great deal
of strain the past few days, Lieutenant.

He hasn't been himself.
But I think you should leave.

We're back in 20 seconds.

(SIGHS)

The Senator. How's he doing?

He's holding his own.
The night's young yet.

And five, four, three, two...

And we're back for another
hour with Senator Gordon Madison

who, by his own admission,

faces stiff opposition in
his re-election bid this year.

Senator, thank you for joining
us on National Focus this evening.

My pleasure, Fielding.
I am delighted to have

the opportunity to reach
out to your many listeners,

many of whom share
my philosophy, I am sure.

Many of them who don't.

(PHONE RINGS)

FIELDING: You may
make some converts, but

my people are a
hard-headed lot. Yes?

Yes, I was told
you'd be calling.

Please hold.

Well, I'd say they get precious
little of that around here.

Amen to that, my friend.
And now, back to the phones.

This is Collier, from
Roanoke, Virginia.

COLLIER: Mr. Chase?

This is he. You're on the air
with Senator Gordon Madison.

Look, I gotta tell you, I'm not a
real big fan of yours, Mr. Chase.

Oh, thank you very much.

And what else do you have to say
besides displaying your ignorance?

But that guy you've got with you,
that senator, he's a real piece of work.

Hey, Senator. Yes, I'm here.

When are you
gonna tell the world

about that little adventure
you had a few years back

with, uh, what's her
name, that movie star.

Uh, Deidre Ross. What?

C'mon, man, everybody knows she
had your kid, then put it up for adoption.

When was that, about
like seven years ago or so?

Not really sure. Sir, this
is a very serious allegation.

St. Ann's Home for Unwed
Mothers, just across the state line.

And don't tell me you
don't know about It.

Hell, man, I got witnesses.

Look, this is absolutely
untrue. I can explain about this.

Explain? What are
you saying, Senator?

You know this
woman? This actress?

Well, yes, I knew her, but I...

FIELDING: Sir, this is
a very grave accusation.

You say you have
proof? What kind of proof?

COLLIER: Medical records.
Adoption papers. Eyewitnesses.

Look, this is total nonsense.

I knew Miss Ross, of course.

Her mother worked for me.

COLLIER: She was
only 17, man. 17.

If you ask me, a guy like
you ought to be strung up.

Mr. Chase, I don't
even understand

why you have a lowlife
like this on your program.

Victoria? (KNOCKING ON DOOR)

VICTORIA: Go away.
I have to talk to you.

VICTORIA: I said go away.

Please open the
door. Leave me alone.

Victoria! Leave me alone!

Please! Just leave me alone.

(BUZZING)

(BEEPING)

Oh.

FIELDING: Victoria?

Victoria? Where are you
going? Who is that out there?

His name is Louis Cayton.
He's a literary agent.

And I'm flying with
him to New York.

About last night, I'm sorry.

So am I. Look, I don't
want to fight with you.

One of us might say
something we might regret,

so why don't we just say
that I'm going off on my own

and I'm going to try
to make it as a writer.

I want to help
you, I told you that.

Yes, well, you've
told me a lot of things,

and I believed too many of them.

Victoria, you're not
leaving. I won't permit it.

You won't permit it? Poor
choice of words. I'm sorry.

You know, I finally
realized that Gerry was right

but I was too
frightened or loyal

or maybe even too
stupid to listen to him.

If I don't leave now I'm
never gonna get away.

Victoria, wait! Don't
leave me. I need you.

Oh no, Dad, you don't need me.

You don't need
anybody except yourself.

Never mind how you've hurt me,

what you did to Senator Madison
last night was unforgivable.

You smeared an innocent
man with a despicable lie.

Victoria, you don't understand.

Oh, yes I do. All too well.

I'll call you from New York.

This is your fault! You
poisoned her against me!

No, Dad.

I'll destroy you,
Cayton! I swear to God.

You'll try, Mr. Chase,
but I'll take my chances.

Victoria.

What are you doing in here?

Oh, good morning, sir.

How did you get in here?

Through the patio. Uh, Mr. Cayton
drove me up this morning.

My own car's laid
up in the shop.

You know, sir, I can
see the resemblance.

A beautiful woman,
that lady. And warm, too.

You can see it in the eyes.

You were told to stay
away from me, Columbo.

Ah, that I was, sir, but unfortunately,
in a m*rder investigation,

you have to go where
the trail leads you to.

The trail leads here?
Yes, sir, I'm afraid it does.

Perhaps if you were to speak
directly to your chief of police.

I'll talk to him, sir, but that's
not gonna change the fact

that you k*lled Mr. Winters to prevent
him from running off with your daughter.

Victoria, running off with
Gerry Winters? I hardly think so.

Fielding Chase. Put
me through to the Chief.

I don't mean in a
romantic sense, sir.

He was helping
her escape from you.

We have a witness. What witness?

A man who says you offered
him $10,000 to k*ll Gerry Winters.

Errant nonsense.

I don't think so, sir. This
guy, he sounds very credible.

Lieutenant, do you have any idea
how many enemies I have out there?

People who would do anything,
say anything to bring me down?

Where is this person?

He's down at headquarters.

Well, suppose we
just see about this.

I'll confront your witness,

and when I do I'll destroy him.

And after that
I'll start on you.

And then maybe the rest of the
Los Angeles Police Department.

Let's go. You don't
mind driving, sir?

Looking forward to it.

You know, Lieutenant,
for the first time

I'm beginning to appreciate what some
of my listeners call "police harassment.”

It's an ugly experience.

Sir, it was never
my intention to...

Oh, save it, Lieutenant. That
routine of yours is becoming tiresome.

It looks like some
kind of an accident, sir.

Slow down, man. Hey,
get somebody down here.

Help us.

What happened here?
Did somebody get hurt?

A coyote ran across
the road and Wally fell.

It's my leg. I think it's
all right. I'm not sure.

Well, let me take a look at it.

COLUMBO: It doesn't look like
there's a break. What do you think?

I don't know.

COLUMBO: Uh, have you tried putting
any pressure on it? WALLY: Not yet.

COLUMBO: Maybe you
oughta try standing and see.

Ahh, I'm all right.
Feel all right?

Yeah, it's fine. Thanks
a lot, I appreciate it.

COLUMBO: You're welcome.

WALLY: It's fine, thanks a
lot. COLUMBO: No problem.

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

Is there a problem,
sir? Obviously.

Maybe it's the
battery. Lights work.

Why don't you pop the
hood, let me take a look.

You a mechanic, Columbo?

Uh, no, sir, but whenever
I have a problem,

I start pushing
those wires around.

And sometimes, you never
know, it works like a charm.

You push wires
around on your car.

Mine you will leave alone.

Yes, sir. So, well,
what do you wanna do?

You wanna call Triple A?

Wonderful idea.

(DIALING)

What's the problem?

I can't seem to get through.
You wanna try mine?

You have a phone?
Yeah, but I didn't buy it.

You know, they're $800.

I mean, I told the guy, I said,
"Look, that's a lot of money.

"I wanna try it out first." So
he gave me this as a loaner.

Is yours a Phone Tech, sir?

Yes it is. That's what I got.

I figured I'd get the best.
But I'll tell you the truth...

What's the number
for Triple A, sir?

555-4111.

I'll tell you the truth, I tried
this yesterday afternoon

and so far I haven't
been able to get it to work.

Apparently, you've let
your batteries run down.

No, 'cause I put fresh
babies in here myself.

Just look at this, I
can't get through.

You know what it might be?
It might be the mountains.

You know, like with
your TV reception.

The reason you
got that thing, that...

Whatchamacallit,
the dish, the satellite.

The mountains. Maybe here
you can't get a clear signal.

Perhaps not.

Which is odd, because
of what you said...

Just a second, sir.

Didn't you say... Yes, you did.

You said when you left your
house after you heard the sh*ts,

you called 911 from your car.

But how could you call from
here? You can't get a signal through.

That's because I
didn't call from this spot.

It was further up the road.

Well, I don't see how,
sir. Given the time frame,

it had to be
somewhere around here.

And just to be sure, I came
out yesterday afternoon with,

like I said, this,

and I tried here and I
tried a mile down that way.

And another mile up that way.
It doesn't make any difference.

No matter where you call
from on this whole road,

you can't get through.

You're wrong, Lieutenant.

No, sir, I'm not wrong.

You were nowhere near this
place on the day of the k*lling.

I suppose we could debate that

but frankly I think it would
be a lot more productive

if we got some tools and
tried to get the engine started.

COLUMBO: I think you were
parked near Mr. Winters' home.

And after you k*lled him, you
called from his neighborhood

where you could get through.

You have the tape recording
of my telephone conversation

with Gerry Winters
when he was sh*t.

COLUMBO: And I think we
both know how you did that, sir.

The only way it
could have been done.

You on the extension
phone in his den,

and your answering machine
recording as if you were actually at home.

The coroner said the sh*ts
came from the direction of the den

and the forensic guy says
there were no fingerprints

on the telephone
receiver in the den.

Which says to me it had to
be wiped off by somebody.

Suppose you're right.
Aren't you behaving stupidly,

confronting me with this alone
on a deserted stretch of road?

I know you're not armed.

Uh, yes, sir, I may be unarmed,

but, uh...

(HONKING)

(SIREN WAILING)

I'm certainly not alone.

A few of the folks from
headquarters out for some exercise.

I see.

Then there isn't any
witness at headquarters.

Uh, no, sir. I'm afraid not.

You know, Columbo, I think
possibly I may have misread you.

Possible, sir. Possible.

Let's go, sir.