05x03 - R.V. Having Fun Yet?

[bunniefuu]

Isn't it great being back at camp?

I just love nature.

The trees, the air, the...

The cricket in your hair...
[CRICKET CHIRPING]

[SCREAMING]

Get out. Get out. Get
out. Get out. Get out.

I really missed camp, too.

Okay, we put up the signs
around the parking area

directing everyone to Parents' Night.

Thanks. The PeeWeeWaka
program is going great so far.

Tonight we just need to make sure

the parents feel like they're
part of our loving community.

So they'll donate gobs of
cash to your fundraisers?

Oh, yeah. This loving community's

gonna need them to pony up.

Now, Finn and Matteo, I
need you to be in charge

of decorations for tonight.

Maybe some balloons,
some streamers...

Spaghetti cannons...

I think you mean confetti cannons.

I know what I said.

How about this?

No cannons. I wanna keep it simple.

Noah, do you think
you could introduce me

to the parents for my speech?

A monologue?

No. Never that.

Are you sure?

I got some Julius
Caesar locked and loaded.

Look, guys. I just don't
want any surprises today.

[RV HONKS]

Who is parking that gigantic
RV on our softball field?

Seriously, an RV?

I can't stand people who own RVs.

Really? Why?

Why not? If you already have a house,

you don't need a truck-house.

A bathroom should not
go over miles per hour.

It's just not natural.

Excuse me. I'm looking
for the camp owner.

That would be me.

Lou Hockhauser. Owner,
operator, and soul of this camp.

We usually just call her "Lou."

So great to meet you, Lou.

I'm Parker Preston. Your
new co-owner. Up top!

Still counts.

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka ♪

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

I can't believe it. This deed shows

that shortly after founding the camp,

Jedediah gave away % of it.

Any chance the deed's a fake?

Yeah, the signature looks the same

as the one in Jedediah's diary.

But, wait!

He signed everything
in raccoon's blood.

Dang it! It checks out.

Look, guys, it's the real deal.

Jed gave that %

to my great-great-great
grandfather, "Hatchet" Joe.

"Hatchet" Joe?

Isn't that the guy who went...

I know what you're going
to say, and it isn't true.

Yes, Joe and Jed
got into an argument.

Yes, Jed ended up with
a hatchet in his back.

Yes, Joe told
everyone that he did it,

and start calling him "Hatchet" Joe.

But let's not try to
connect the dots, okay?

None of us were there.

Seems less like dots and
more like an arrow point

to your
great-great-great grand-m*rder*r.

Listen...

I know that this is a lot to take in,

but it doesn't get better

than having the Prestons
involved in your business.

We're wealthy,
well-known philanthropists.

My sister has a space
station named after her.

That she mentions. A lot.

Never heard of you guys.

We're very big in Canada.

So is ham that pretends to be bacon.

Ooh, nice bacon burn.Thanks.

Listen, I don't care who you are.

This is my camp and I
don't want a co-owner.

Just give me a chance.

I'm an ideas guy.

With me, it's always one
stroke of genius after another.

Oh! Inspiration strikes again.

[BEEPING]

A toilet bowl so big, you can't miss.

By the way, is there a
bathroom I could use?

No. No.

Don't trust him, Lou.

RV people keep their
true intentions shut away.

Like their little closet-showers.

Yeah, it's a lifestyle.

Look, I just wantyou to
help me help you help me

increase the return
on my family's %.

So, let's work together to
make this camp awesome.

Camp Kikiwaka is already awesome.

We don't need you here.

Fine. I guess I could sell my share

to the camp across the
lake. Camp Champion, is it?

On second thought,
we might need you here.

[KNOCKING]Hey
there, Grizzlies. This is...

The Parker Preston.

Like they know who you are.

Wait.

Parker Preston, of the
Canadian Prestons?

Ooh! Do you think I could
visit your sister's space station?

Totally. Space is so cool.

I don't wanna oversell it,

but you get to pee
into a vacuum tube.

Really?

On Earth that gets you
grounded for a month.

Or so I'm told.

Anyways...

What brings you to Camp Kikiwaka?

I'm the new co-owner.
Temporary guest.

With legal rights. Lawsuit pending.

Anyhoo, I thought while he's here,

he could stay in your empty bunk.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Really?

No offense, my dudes,

but my RV makes this
old, shabby cabin look like...

Well, yeah, that pretty much says it.

Hey!

It may be a little run-down,

and haunted by disasters in its past.

But aren't we all?

Sorry. What were we talking about?

Look, I just think the whole camp

could use the Parker Touch

to take it to the next level.

And I'm not going
anywhere till that happens.

[SCOFFS] Cool, cool.

If you'll excuse me...

Finn, are you using this pillow?

Or can I scream into it?

[MUFFLED SCREAMS]

Oh, no. That was my farting pillow.

Don't worry, dudes. I'll grow on her.

Wait. Did you just call us "dudes?"

He did.

Twice! That's a double "dude!"

I've never been a "dude" before.

I always thought it
was reserved for surfers,

or cowboys, or people who don't

return their library books on time.

You know, outlaws.

[LAUGHS] You're funny.

I'm gonna like hanging
out with you dudes.

There it is again.

Say it one more time,

I wanna make it my ring tone.

Dude...

[CHUCKLES]

Send that to me, dude.

ALL: Parker!

Parker! Parker! Parker!

Hey! Park...

What in the dog heavens
is going on in here?

Did you put these TVs up?

Just think of these beauties

as a little "Welcome
to Camp" present.

I feel so welcome.

I didn't tell you you could do this.

This is exactly the type of thing

that you can expect
from RV people, Lou.

They think they're above the rules

because they drive
around in a captain's chair.

I just wanted to show you

the type of next level
idea I bring to the table.

We don't need TVs, we have nature.

The greatest show on Earth is Earth.

Thank you, Destiny.

Although, my favorite baseball team

is playing right now.
So, turn on the game

while I get my sunflower
seeds and spit cup!

Noice!

[EXCLAIMS] Not noice.

I'm sorry, but these
TVs are coming down.

[ALL GROAN]

This is camp.

The only screens we need

are the ones to keep the
giant bugs out of our cabins.

And we will get those
screens eventually.

Think about how we can
use these TVs as tools.

Like, for the camp's
mixed-media dance class.

What's a mixed-media dance class?

I am so glad you asked.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ Let's go, camp

♪ Do the Parker

Listen.

♪ Do the Parker

♪ Par... ♪

It was nice of you to buy
these TVs, but we don't...

Oh, I didn't buy them. I
charged them to the camp.

I paid for these?

Which I now realize
was a huge mistake.

May I get you a screaming pillow?

No!

But you can take these TVs down.

Totally.

Is now a good time
to mention that I broke

two others putting them up?

Fine.

Destiny, Ava, you guys
take these TVs down

and put them in Parker's
RV so he can return them.

Okay, I get it.

You do you, Lou Boo.
But, should we start

keeping track of these things,

to make sure I get to
make % of the decisions?

Oh, I'm % sure
that'll never happen.

And I'm % sure

"The Parker" is a dance sensation,

that will sweep the nation.

Yes.

♪ Do the Parker

All right, guys.
Let's go from the top.

Here we go. Ready? Jump, down, wiggle

all the way down, yes, left.

It's too hot to be doing all this.

Let's just set the TV down over here.

Yeah. Next to the, uh...

The fireplace.

Parker's RV is amazing.

You could fit so many clowns in here.

Sorry, I measure
all vehicles that way.

I don't care how amazing it is.

It's just as obnoxious

on the inside as
it is on the outside.

Nope. More obnoxious on the inside.

Let's just get the rest of the TVs

so we could be done with it.

Wait. I think this thing has A/C.

[AIR BLOWS]

Destiny, let's go.

One minute. I feel like
I'm in a gum commercial.

Don't give in to the
siren song of the RV.

It's a slippery slope and
all of the... Oh, what's that?

A claw machine that's
filled with snacks?

And it has Scooter Bars!

I could k*ll for some
nougat right now.

[MACHINE WHIRRING]

That deliciousness is about to be...

A banana.

Oh, come on.

One more try.

Ooh, party laser lights.

Can we use these for Parents' Night?

Finn, what did I say?

My belly button is not a pocket.

No.

Keep it simple. But...

Yeah, also the other thing.

Hey there, Lou-bee-doo-bee-doo.

Nope.

I feel like we're getting
off on the wrong foot.

If we work together, we can
drive camp attendance up

so high, we'll have to franchise.

Imagine it. A
Kikiwaka in every state.

And in Montreal, a Le Kikiwaka.

Look, I appreciate the enthusiasm,

but Camp Kikiwaka is already great.

If you really wanna help,

PeeWee Parents' Night
is just a few hours away

and Finn clearly needs
a hand in decorating.

Guys, check it out.

Good luck.

So, Finn.

You seem to be the dude
that thinks outside the box.

It's probably because I got trapped

inside a box last summer.

Spent a lot of time

thinking how to get
outside of that box.

No patience for the
subtlety of metaphor.

I respect that.

But I mean, Lou's all over you

about balloons and streamers.
Don't you feel smothered?

Not since I broke out of that box.

Enough about the box.

What I'm trying to say is,

we need something more

than lame decorations
to make this event

an event.

We need to be thinking bigger.

I like bigger.

But Lou said to keep it simple.

Sometimes people don't
know what they want,

until we show them.

Like, my mom,

she didn't know she wanted
flames on the family limo

'til I showed her.

And then she still didn't want them.

But in the end, we still
had a limo with flames on it.

So, you in?

Let's do it!

But, can you help me?

That's what I'm here for.

How about this? Two words.

T-shirt... Launcher.

Two more words.

I... Love... It.

[MACHINE WHIRRING]

AVA: Come on.

Come on!

Yes!

Destiny, I finally got a Scooter Bar.

We can go now.

DESTINY: But thisRV has
a golf simulator upstairs.

There's an upstairs?

And a spa.

But he has everything
monogrammed with PP.

Should we tell him?

Let's go.

If we spend any more time in here,

we may just become...

RV people.

Wait.

Is that a massage chair?

Oh.

[CHAIR WHIRRING] [EXHALES]

Ooh, mama like.

Destiny, I need you
to get up right now.

[SIGHS] I know, we
should get back to nature.

No. I've got a knot in my back

and this mama wanna like, too.

[CHAIR CONTINUES WHIRRING]

What do you think?

That I am totally an RV person.

Noah! Noah, Noah, bo-boa!

No-ah prisoners, No-ah excuses!

Parker.

Who told you about
my love of nicknames?

Get in here, you!

Finn told me you were doing
Lou's introduction tonight.

Need any help?

Not really. Lou wrote up
something really simple.

Wow!

It's not the most inspiring
material for a trained actor.

Nay, an artiste.

Nay, a trained artiste.

I've done worse.

I once had a commercial audition

for the voice that reads
side effects really fast.

Oh, did you get it?

Nope. It was a long list,

and I ran out of breath right
before, "excessive knuckle hair."

I just worry that Lou is
under utilizing you and your gifts.

You know, I watched your reel.

You were the view?

Yep. And I thought you were amazing.

Oh, stop.

I won't stop,

because I don't hold back.
And neither should you.

You're right.

I'm bringing my A-game tonight.

Side effects may include
deafening applause,

spontaneous laughter,
and requests for autographs.

Yes! There's the
Noah I've grown to love

over the one day of limited
interaction we've had.

[ELECTRONICS POWER DOWN]

Hey! Who stopped my fuzzy buzzies?

Uh-oh.

We must've k*lled the RV's battery

using all of Parker's stuff.

Oh!

I know how to fix this.

Run away and deny everything.

Destiny! I'm trapped.

The chair has my arms and legs.

Mama don't like.

[GRUNTING]

Okay, uh...

Just sit tight and I'll
try and grease you out

with Parker's weirdly large
collection of face creams.

[GRUNTS]

[CLICKING BUTTON]

Oh, no! Bad news.

The elevator's dead.

Elevator?

Where are we?

Great suit, Noah.

Thank you. My mom wouldn't let me

bring the top hat
and monocle to camp.

She said,"You made
friends, now keep them."

Did you memorize what I gave you?

"It's now my pleasure to introduce

"Camp Director Lou Hockhauser?"

Yeah, I think I got it.

Well, I guess someone can

still be snooty without a top hat.

What is this?

Parker suggested I
use my A/V expertise

to add a little music to the night.

It's part of my dude duties.

I also get to make sure
we all wear sunscreen.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Music. Hmm.

Actually not a bad idea.

But keep it simple.

I have a lot of
important things to say,

and you know I can't
resist a good conga line.

Okay, let's get this
show on the road.

Noah, you're up.

Camp Kikiwaka welcomes you all

to PeeWeeWaka's Parents' Night.

It's now my pleasure to introduce
Camp Director Lou Hockhauser.

Thank you, Noah. I...

And that's not all. Hit it, Matteo.

Hit what?

What up, party parents?

DJ Dude is about to drop that b*at.

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

Ladies and gentleman,

joining Lou at the podium
tonight is the latest addition

to Camp Kikiwaka.

Straight out of Saskatchewan,

the Master of Maple Syrup,
the Preston you want to invest in,

our new Assistant Camp Director.

What? Parker Preston!

[APPLAUSE]

Listen up. I want you to know that...

Parker Preston.

Is now here to help Lou

create the awesome-est
camp in the world.

Do you like the sound of that?

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

What are you doing?

That's a great question, Lou.

I will cut to the chase.
Finn, these parents

really look like they
could use some T-shirts.

[WINCES] I can't see.

[GASPS]

Oops.

I can assure you, we will
never do that to one of your kids.

Don't worry, Lou. I'll fix this.

Finally! Thank you.

Noah, hit the smoke machine.

Smoke machine?

[ALL COUGH]

Nobody panic.

Just follow my vest, and
I will lead you to safety.

This is your idea of "fixing it?"

You're right. I better
release the doves.

No doves!

Cancel the doves. I
repeat, cancel the doves.

Well, two parents withdrew their kids

from the PeeWeeWaka program.

Luckily they were the nose-pickers.

Which kids were those?

I'm talking about the parents.

Didn't you see the couple
in the back digging for gold?

But seriously, guys, what's not
simple about "keep it simple?"

We were just trying to show you

we had more to contribute.

Parker knew we could
really impress these parents.

We were hoping to show you, too.

The boys were just trying to help me

help you reach for that next level.

Enough with the next level.

My camp is already next level.

If you really want to
make things better,

how about you just leave?

I can't leave. I know, I know.

Because you own % of this camp.

No. I can't leave because...

I have nowhere else to go.

What are you talking about?

My parents didn't send
me here to help camp.

They kicked me out, and cut me off.

'Cause I kept blowing
all their money on one

bad business idea after another.

That steak-flavored toothpaste
was a real low point.

So, you're not rich and successful?

Well, my family is, but not me.

They said I only bring shame

to the Preston name.

They thought I might do
better without their safety net.

Wait. Is that why you're so obsessed

with taking this camp
to the next level?

Well, this was my last sh*t

to prove to them that I
can be successful, too.

But, I should've listened to you.

And I never should have
dragged you guys into it.

Matteo, you're one of the
coolest dudes I've ever met.

So now I'm a cool dude?

My journal isn't
gonna know what hit it.

And, Noah, you were
magnificent tonight.

Never stop being a shining light,

with or without that sick vest.

Oh...

It's going to be with.

And, Finn,

keep thinking outside that box.

Don't worry.

That box was recycled last summer.

Okay.

Well, I guess this is it.

Bye, guys.

Lou, Parker seems so sad.

Guys, this is for the best.

We already lost two PeeWee
parents because of him.

We almost lost the whole program.

But we didn't.

And before the spotlight blinding
and the T-shirt pelting,

the parents were really into it.

We're the ones who screwed it all up.

[SIGHS] You can't kick Parker out.

He obviously needs us.

And I need someone to call me "dude."

More than I ever knew.

Please, Lou? Can we keep him?

Ugh, fine!

But you're cleaning up his messes.

And if he gets bored and
starts getting into mischief,

don't come crying to me.

Just to be clear...

Are we getting a Parker or a puppy?

DESTINY: I found something
to bust you out!

[PANTING]

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Do not swing that...

Does this thing have a bowling alley?

Wait.

[GASPS] It's Parker! Hide!

How?

Uh...

Yep, this is my life now.

LOU: Parker!

I'm leaving. I'm leaving.

I just have to put the
cover on the hot tub

so the water doesn't
slosh out as I drive away.

You know how it is.

I do not.

Can we talk? Have a seat.

[GASPS] Is that a Samurai sword?

You were saying?

[SIGHS] Look,

I really liked how you
encouraged the kids.

Your heart's in the right place,

even if your head's in the clouds.

We may not need a next level,

but maybe this place could be

% better.

[EXHALES] Lou,

don't mess with me, okay?

I am fragile.

All I have to my name
are Hatchet Joe's deed

and my family's smallest RV.

Smallest? Don't rub it in.

Lou, are you saying I could stay?

Well, the truth is,
I could actually...

[AVA SCREAMS] [BOTH SCREAMING]

Ava?

Hey.

Destiny?

Can you give me a
hand? The door's jammed

and I'm knee-deep in nougat
and it smells like bananas

and I really need to
get back to nature!

Me first!

I've been stuck in this
p leather prison for hours!

The battery's dead.

Why didn't you guys just
start the motor and charge it?

[MOTOR WHIRRING]

I guess I didn't know
that's how that worked

because I am not an RV person!

Except in my heart.

In my heart I think I might be.

Lou, you are right.

This camp is already so awesome.

And I would love to be a part of it.

If you'll have me.

I obviously have a
lot to learn from you.

Aw... Parker...

That is so true.

And I could really use
the help around here.

How about we give it a
trial run? What do you say?

Does this answer your question?

[MUSIC PLAYING]
Do the Lou, do the Lou!

Do the Lou. Do, do, do. Parker.

You are embarrassing yourself.

This is the Lou.

Do the Lou, do the Lou!

ALL: Do the Lou, do the Lou!