05x11 - Roll Models

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Bunk'd". Aired July 2015 - current.*
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"Bunk'd" is a "Jessie" spin-off revolving around Emma, Ravi, and Zuri Ross at a rustic summer camp in Maine, where their parents met as teens. Along with their new friends, the trio tries their best to settle into their exciting new lives at Camp Kikiwaka.
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05x11 - Roll Models

Post by bunniefuu »

Hey, Parker. What are you reading?

Oh, it's a sci fi novel called
The Space Between the Space between.

It's about people who
cross through space and time

to explore the
universe's infinite number

of alternate dimensions.

Where'd I lose you?

Hard to say. I was
thinking about baby ducks.

Pop-Pop just texted me
the most amazing news.

"Your cousins just
welcome to cute new arrival

"and they named the
little bundle of joy, Lou!"

Aw, Little Lou!

I guess Now you have to
rename your bowling ball.

It's been a while since
I visited the family farm.

My cousins just took it over
for my Pop-Pop and Gam-Gam.

I'd really like to pay
them a surprise visit.

Meet the new baby,
play a little peek-a-Lou.

[LAUGHS]

She'll get it.

Hey, maybe I could
hitch a ride with you

and surprise my big
brother on the way!

Guion just started a
new internship with NASA.

Hold your horses. I'm not
so sure we can go at all.

The last time I took
the camp bus into town,

I could have sworn I heard
the engine make a weird noise

that sounded like, "k*ll... me."

You can take my RV if you want.

I'll stay in Grizzly Cabin.

Really? What's the catch?

No catch.

And yes, I'd be honored to
lead the camp while you're gone.

[GASPS] Hello, Catch.

I was told you wouldn't
be joining us today.

Come on, Lou. I'm
ready to prove my worth

to you as temporary camp director.

And you wouldn't want to
disappoint your namesake.

Exactly.

Think of Little Lou.

Think of all the locations
you can cross off

your "Rest Stops of America" map.

I would like to finally visit
the I- Shop-and-Squat.

Okay, fine.

And Parker, I can't believe
I feel the need to say this,

but please keep the campers alive.

I look forward to clearing
your insultingly low bar.

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

Uh, what's going on here?

What up, ballers? Who's
ready to get rolling?

Hello, Cyber-punk Destiny.

Have you seen Normal Destiny?

Welcome to the jungle, Ava.

Now that Lou's gone,
we no longer have to hide

the great underground sport
of Midnight Marble Racing.

But it's only ten.

I know, but Gerry sets up the tracks

and he can't stay up past : .

So who are you supposed to be?

I'm kind of a big deal in the
marble racing community.

My team's named the Dazzle Divas

and I'm defending my
rep as Head of the Glass.

Please don't.

Tonight's an important night.

It's the semifinals s to find out

who's in the championship tomorrow.

Stay and watch.

You'll have a marble-ous time.

Okay, I'm done now.

Okay. All gassed up.
Ready to head to NASA?

Man, I can't wait to
surprise Guion today.

So what's your brother like?

He's super smart and
driven. Basically my hero.

He's wanted to be a astronaut
ever since he found out

he was named after the
first black astronaut in space.

Wow, that is so much
cooler than being named after

your Great Aunt Louella
who d*ed on the toilet.

Anyway Guion is super
intellectual and serious.

He never stops
talking about astrology.

MATTEO: Astronomy.

Thank you, Matteo. Matteo?

What are you doing here?

I must have fallen asleep in
the sensory deprivation t*nk

on the third floor.

What'd I miss?

Clearly I missed that
there's a third floor.

Great. Well, we're too
far to turn back now.

So, I guess welcome to the road trip.

I hope you're better
at "I Spy" than Noah.

He's already picked
the sky three times.

Hey, have you seen Matteo?

I haven't been able
to find him all day.

Actually, no. I haven't
seen him either.

And it's kind of weird
for him to do something

without his other pea in the pod.

I'm still his pea, right?

We have to find him.

If I lose a camper, Lou will
never trust me with anything again.

And I really want to drive
the riding lawn mower.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

[SIGHS]

Great, it's Lou. Lou!
What a pleasant surprise!

Everything's fine!

I'm k*lling this whole
camp director thing.

You're still not
riding the lawnmower.

But that's not why I
called. It's about Matteo.

Matteo? He's doing great!
Shining star of this camp!

This guy.

Oh, so he's there? With you?

Can I talk to him?

Um, sure. Sure.

Hey, Matteo, can you talk to Lou?

Sorry, can't come to the phone.

Lots going on. Birds,
science, bow ties!

Wow! He sure does sound busy.

Mind if I talk to Finn instead?

She wants to talk to you.

Please don't say anything
about Matteo. Just act natural.

Got it.

Finn Sawyer speaking.

Finn, Matteo is here with us.

Parker is lying to me

and he needs to be messed with.

Prankmaster General,
you have been activated.

I'm on it.

Now there's just a matter of my fee.

Nobody is riding the lawnmower.

I have three marbles on my team

and I have to choose
one for the semifinals.

I'm going with Disco, my
most merciless marble.

She'd cut you if she
weren't so smooth.

How is this a sport?

All right, racers, your
announcer is here,

but he's a busy man.

So let's get the competitors
on the line and start this thing.

These marbles aren't
going to roll themselves.

Yes, they are. The track is downhill.

Okay. To your starting blocks.

Rolling Thunder, Dazzle Divas,

Marble-icious, Balls of Fire,

and our newly sponsored

Bill's Grocery Store Renegades!

Let's roll.

And they're off.

We begin the first of
the three exciting laps.

Lightning of the Rolling Thunder

has an early lead,

followed closely by
Disco of the Dazzle Divas.

Yeah, watch out Lightning!

Is what I would
say if I was into this.

Disco tries to pass on the inside

as they head into Dead Ball's Curve.

And ooh! Big time collision!

No! I can still win.

Darn right you can.

You're gonna destroy this loser!

Yeah, you heard me,
Madison. You're going down.

You might as well
be racing with dice.

As the racers barrel
towards the homestretch,

Disco makes a late surge.

Which one of these marbles

will cross the finish line first

and claim their place in
the championship match?

It's gonna be Destiny! Ha!

Eat that, nerds!

This is my camper!

As we head down to the finish line,

it's a battle of circular glass
wills and the winner is...

Disco!

Yeah! You're outta here,
Madison! Whoop! Whoop!

[CHEERS]

Uh, Ava?

We usually just say, "Good race."

It's the rollers code.

You're right.

Good race, Madison.

Psych! Too slow,
just like your marble.

So sorry, she's new to this.

[LAUGHS SHEEPISHLY]

Come on, Destiny. Let's
go throw the loser in the lake.

Happy birthday, Madison!

You don't have to
be a rocket scientist

to know that this isn't NASA.

But to clarify, I am
a rocket scientist.

Let me recheck our family GPS app.

Dad's at the craft store again.

That man loves his macrame.

Mom's home and Guion...

should be here. But
this can't be right.

It sure feels right. I absolutely
love amusement parks.

The exciting rides.

Most of them give me the bubble guts.

The tasty food.

Also give me the bubble guts.

The fun games?

Aw, they're all rigged.

It makes me so mad. It
gives me the bubble guts.

Your guts are safe, Matteo.

Because my brother definitely
wouldn't be caught dead here.

We should leave.

MAN: Land a ring, win a prize!

Land a ring, win a... Noah?

Guion?

What are you doing here, little bro?

What am I doing here?
What are you doing here?

What are we doing
here? Let's go over there.

I'm still confused.

You're working at an amusement park?

Noah, chill. Why are
you so buttoned up?

Because you always told me

top buttons are for top dogs, Guion.

Around here everyone
calls me G-Force.

A nickname? You hate nicknames.

I've been trying to give
you a nickname for years.

You rejected Fly Guy, Space Brutha,

and my personal favorite, Funky-G!

By the way, I hate that I
never thought of G-Force.

Noah, chillax. Try to have some fun.

That's my plan for the summer.

Excuse me. This
game is rigged, right?

And no need for layman's terms.

You and I speak the same
complicated language of science.

Nope. Not rigged.

Aw, fiddlesticks!

Guion...

G-Force.

Right. Dang, that's so good.

G-Force, what happened
to your NASA internship?

Aw man, don't worry about that.

The internship got canceled.

Who wants corn dogs?

Ooh, me!

Me too!

Bubble guts are a small price to pay.

I'll be the judge of that.

Corn dogs coming up!

Lou, I'm worried.

Me too. We're going to
need to aim Matteo downwind.

No, about my brother.

Why? He seems super chill.

That's just it.

Guion's not super chill.

He's super driven and
definitely doesn't walk around

playing annoying instruments.

That's my thing.

Even driven people still
know how to have fun, Noah.

If I don't win this thing,
I will never smile again.

Most driven people still
know how to have fun, Noah.

I'm going to get to
the bottom of this.

Well, I'm gonna keep tossing rings.

The goldfish with white spots

made eye contact with
me earlier and... I need her.

Uh, Ava, what's all of this?

Isn't it great? It's for
your cheering section

that I'm leading today
at the marble races.

I'm meeting them in
to work on doing the wave.

Woo-hoo!

See, this is why we practice.

Okay...

Don't you have more important
counselor related things to do

than going to a silly
marble racing match?

Nothing is more important than
screaming your name during the race.

I didn't know you
were such a big deal.

But now...

everyone will.

You don't like it.

Should I have gone with the large?

Listen, Ava, I don't
know if you noticed,

but I'm sort of the "cool
girl" of marble racing.

And the way you're behaving
is kind of hurting my image.

Wait, are you saying
that I'm being un-cool?

I'm not saying that.

I'm just saying
you're being kind of...

How can I put this delicately?

Painfully embarrassing.

Well, if I'm so embarrassing, maybe
I shouldn't come to your final match.

Thanks for understanding.

I'm not being understanding
I'm being passive aggressive.

Fine. I don't want to come
to your dumb match any way.

I'm gonna be too busy anyhow...

canceling the skywriter I ordered.

What was that?

Nothing.

I know what happened to Matteo.

Thank goodness. I've
been looking everywhere.

Did you know this place
has more than two cabins?

Look.

I see. What do I see?

Matteo has been
super excited recently

because he thinks he figured out

interdimensional travel.
Those are Matteo's clothes!

He must have left them
behind when he crossed over!

The madman pulled it off!

I don't remember Matteo ever trying
to figure out interdimensional travel.

Then how do you explain this?

"How to figure out
interdimensional travel?"

Well, that could be
interpreted a few different ways.

You can't actually
expect me to believe...

MATTEO: Help! Is someone there?

I'm trapped in a parallel dimension!

It's true! I believe!

Matteo, what can you see?

MATTEO: I guess the
best way to say it is,

I see the present,
the past and the future

all tied in an elaborate loop.

Really? What am I
getting for Christmas?

[MATTEO SHIVERING] I'm so c-c-c-cold!

That's because your
clothes are still here.

Is there an interdimensional
towel you can cover yourself with?

What are we gonna do, Parker?

Well, we have to figure out a
quick, simple way to reverse

interdimensional travel
before Lou gets back.

I'm open to suggestions.

I think I got us most
of the way there.

Parker, I can walk you through it.

But you need to follow
my instructions precisely.

So get a pen and paper.

No need. I have an
excellent memory, Matthew.

Matteo.

I'm gonna get that pen and paper.

MATTEO: Is it working?

Phase one complete.

[BOTTLES CLINKING]

I hope pranking
Parker is going better

than this ring toss. I think I
saw a goldfish laughing at me.

Aloha, bro-ha!

Guion, I just got off the phone
with the top brass at NASA.


Really?

No. Just a woman at
the front desk named Lois,

who told me I sounded
like her grandson

and asked if I would
call her more often.

But after that, she told me

your internship was never canceled!

You just didn't show
up. What happened?

Look, there's no point
in interning at NASA

if you're not gonna be an astronaut.

You're giving up on your dream?

That's all it was, a dream.

Excuse me, G-Force?

Where's your nearest restroom?

My bubble guts have
turned into rumble butts.

Come on, Diamond. Don't let me down!

You're a girl's best friend!

The Championship Marble
Race is coming down to the wire...

and its Diamond for the win!

I did it! I won!

The Destiny Dynasty continues!

I wonder who will
play me in the movie.

Congratulations, Destiny
Baker and the Dazzle Divas!

You raced for all the
marbles and... here they are.

[CHEERING]

AVA: Not so fast.

Ava? What's going on?

You may have beaten all the campers,

but can't be the real
Camp Kikiwaka Champ

until you've beaten
the counselor champ.

Wait a minute!

You already raced and b*at
every counselor in camp?

Oh, no! I won by default.

They wanted no part of this.

[SCOFFS] Is this some kind of joke?

You don't even like marble racing.

Correct. But I do like
the idea of b*ating you.

Nobody puts Ava
in the un-cool corner.

And if you want to be the coolest,

then you're going
to have to go through

the new cool girl of marble racing.

ALL: Ooh!

Ow! My eye. Poked it
good. Anyway, I am cool!

How's it going?

We're almost ready. I think.

MATTEO: Your metal
conduits should include forks,

but definitely not spoons.

Finn, he said no spoons! Quick,
we almost lost him in the void!

MATTEO: Okay, when the
portal opens, the light will be bright.

So keep your blackout goggles on.

You sure?

I actually kind of want to see
how we fix this little wrinkle.

MATTEO: Do you want
your eyeballs to wrinkle?

Keeping goggles on.

[MECHANICAL WHIRRING]

MATTEO: Something's
happening! I think it's opening!

Really? How can you tell?

MATTEO: Uh, because everything's
getting really, uh, portal-ly.

I think that's the portal.

MATTEO: Ooh. Ahh!

I think I got a splinter.

[GASPS] Uh-oh! What's happening?

[MATTEO FADES OFF] No!

Matteo? Matteo, are you okay?

Parker, look!

What happened? Are those his glasses?

His molecules must have melted!

He turned into Matteo-goo!

No! I can fix you, buddy!

Which part of you is this?
Speak to me, Goo-teo!

I should have followed
the instructions!

Yes, you should have.

Wait. If Matteo is with
Lou, then who is this?

For crying out loud,
you got pranked, Parker.


Never. Lie. To me. Again.

Yes, ma'am.

Prankmaster General, you
are now relieved of your duty.


Standing down and thank
you for saying "doodie."

I'm guessing you took
our conversation poorly.

You said this job was a blast

so I figured I'd stay
and work here with you

as this fuzzy fun-loving
cat crossing-guard.

Wolverine park ranger?
Mammal with a job.

What? You're not staying here.

You told me you finally got a manager

and landed a commercial and
were going out on auditions.

You're making your dream happen.

Well, I figured if my hero
can give up on his dream,

why can't I?

See? That's why I
quit. All this hero stuff!

You telling me your whole
life that I'm your role model?

Mom and Dad always telling me

how excited they are about my future.

What's wrong that?

What if I don't become an astronaut?

Not everyone does, you know?

It's really competitive.

All the pressure to not disappoint
anyone was just too much.

So I came here.

Where there's no pressure.

But... now I realize I
disappointed you anyway.

Guion, I never meant to
put any pressure on you.

You could never disappoint me.

I don't look up to you
because of what you do.

I look up to you
because of who you are.

Really?

Yes. The super caring way

you've helped me through
Mom and Dad's divorce

and the brave way
you chased your dream

inspired me to chase mine, too.

And I don't care whether
that dream for you means

working the ring toss or
standing on the rings of Saturn.

Actually, you can't stand...

Having a moment here, man.

As long as what you're
doing makes you happy,

and I don't think this does.

But whatever you decide to do,

my brother will always be my hero.

Right back at you, little brother.

Thanks, G-Force.

Noah, you know how
much I hate nicknames?

Almost as much as I hate
funnel cakes and flip flops

and wearing a shirt
that's always unbuttoned.

No one wants to see my clavicle.

This isn't a nightclub.

Good to have you back, Guion.

It's good to be back.

But I'm sorry that I blew
off that amazing internship.

About that, I had a feeling
things might go this way.

So I asked Lois to get you
back in, and she said yes.

Seriously?

Yup. By the way, we have to
go to her house for Thanksgiving.

Matteo and I just cleaned up

at every other booth at this midway

and now we're sure
your ring toss is rigged.

[SCOFFS] Guys, I swear it's not.

The key is to have your toss
bounce on the lip of the bottle

to reduce the kinetic energy
so it won't fly off. Observe.

See? Easy.

I liked you better when
you were a slacker.

Darn it! All this other
junk is meaningless.

I must have Goldie!

Noah, you gotta go after her.

You are Sam, the
Security Fox after all.

That's what I am?

Okay, Ava. You proved your point.

You're clearly very cool.

Can't you just leave now
and let me have my trophy?

I think you mean my trophy.

I've been training for this
nonstop since I decided

I wanted this four hours ago.

Look, all the campers are talking,

and if you lose this
match to your counselor,

it's going to destroy your cool rep.

You have to get out of this race.

Maybe say your marble pulled a hammy?

Darren has never
rolled away from a fight

and he isn't starting today.

That does sound like Darren.

Okay, racers, to your marks.

And now for an epic match

between two of the coolest racers

this board has ever witnessed
the Dazzle Divas versus...

the Kikiwaka Marble Team?

Come on. I had one day
to come up with all this.

Give me a break.

Fine.

Racers, roll out!
Going into the first turn,

Darren and...

Marble.

Really?

Darren and Marble take
turns swapping the lead.

Should've backed down
when you had the chance.

The coolest girl in marble
racing would never back down.

You're right. That's why I'm winning.

Come on, come on.

This really means a
lot to you, doesn't it?

Marble now has a commanding lead.

There's nothing standing in the way

of the Kikiwaka Marble
Team and victory.

Come on, come on!

[AVA GRUNTS]

Oh, no! Such a klutz.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Ava, you're disqualified for
tampering with the course

and looking like a
doof while doing it.

Destiny, you win all
the marbles again.

[ALL CHEERING]

Nice fall. The crowd
really bought it.

But I know you're too cool to do
something like that by accident.

Yeah, well, it was really
uncool of me to flip out

when you said that I
was embarrassing you.

I guess my feelings
were just a little hurt.

I know. And I'm sorry.

You were just trying
to be supportive.

And the truth is, I
secretly kind of liked it.

Well, I'm glad to
hear you say that...

because I didn't cancel
the skywriter in time.

[PLANE FLYING]

"Density is the best?"

Aw, man!

You had one job!

[CLOSING THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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