05x17 - Crushin' It

[bunniefuu]

Okay guys, I have some exciting news
to share with you about Camp Kikiwaka.

We're finally gonna be able
to see through our water?

You're replacing what you refer
to as the "vintage" mattresses?

C'mon guys, give Lou a break.

Thank you, Parker.

I'm sure she's finally adding cheese.

To the mac and cheese, so
it's not just "mac and bowl."

You look like a banana.

Anyway, Camp Kikiwaka
is one of the finalists

for Lobsters and Such magazine's

Happiest Places in Maine list.

Wow, that is exciting!

Yeah, be even more exciting
if we weren't nominated

against Cape Disappointment
and the Abandoned Blanket Park.

But the magazine is sending a reporter
here to decide if we make the cut.

The only thing is, the camp
needs a little sprucing up,

and I have to go pick up
a sweet new tractor today.

Guys... I think it might be love.

Well, have fun with your crummy task.

Um, I think you mean our crummy task.

Say what now?

Well, I have to drive
the camp bus there

and somebody's gotta
drive the tractor back.

Uh-huh, but why
does it have to be me?

[CHUCKLES]

Because I think it's hilarious.

Lou, since I'm officially
out of the doghouse,

might I take on the responsibility

of prepping the
camp for the reporter?

-Yes.
-Oh, come on, Lou.

I know I've done some dangerous
stuff in the past but... Wait, what?

Yeah, Parker, I'm trusting
you with the camp again.

What can I say? I've got
a blind date with a tractor

and I'm in a good mood.

You won't regret this.

Oh, I highly doubt that.

But Ava and I should hit the road.

I cannot believe you're
dragging me on this trip.

This is my nightmare.

[CHUCKLES]

Keep talking. It just
keeps getting funnier.

But Parker, don't worry.

I will be back in time to show
the reporter that Kikiwaka

is the happiest
place on planet Earth.

Let's be real.

Happiest place north
of Buffalo, maybe.

I do feel kind of guilty
about leaving though.

I'm sure I won't miss
anything big while I'm gone.

Mornin' campers.

Gwen!

Well, this seems pretty big.

[OPENING THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

[BLOWS WHISTLE]

ALL: ♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

♪ Kikiwaka, Kikiwaka

Gwen, what are you doing here?

This is the first free weekend
I've had for a surprise visit.

Unless you count that
weekend I spent lost in the city

after leaving breadcrumbs
to find my way home.

But eventually I made it.

And now I also have a pet rats.

Hi, Gwen. I'm Parker.

I've heard so much about you.

And quite frankly,
I'm a little frightened.

Aww, thank you.

Matteo's told me
you're a good friend,

So you have nothing to fear from me.

Let's keep it that way.

Gwen, is that you?

Matteo!

We're so glad you're
back. Everyone missed you.

Gwen, it's me, Finn.

You might not recognize me

because I'm much more mature now.

Also, I grew this many inches.

What's living in the city like?

It's been a pretty big adjustment

I had to get used to a
ton of brand new stuff,

including my first plane ride.

And how'd it go?

Well, I ran up and down the aisle

screaming about how only witchcraft

could be keeping us in the sky.

On the bright side, they put me
on a super elite group called...

the "no-fly list."

I can't believe you're actually here.

Oh, right.

This is the first time you
guys have been together

since you've officially
been "together." [LAUGHS]

So, what are we all gonna do now?

Or we could give you guys
some alone time to catch up.

Good call, Noah.

Well, hey, not to brag,

but I do have a lot of experience

being an unwelcome third wheel.

So it's been a while since we talked.

Uh, what have you
been up to back home?

I guess I mostly just
hang out with Kevin.

Kevin? You never
mentioned him in your letters.

Didn't I? Kevin is the best.

So fun and sweet.
I'm lucky to have him.

And I'm lucky to be
hearing about him.

Any friend of yours
is a friend of mine.

Tell me more about my new friend

Well, he has long blonde hair

and is awesome at skateboarding.

Wow, Kevin sounds
absolutely delightful.

Yay friends!

I'm so glad you're here.
I missed you so much.

It's good to be back.

Hardly anything has changed.

[GASPS]

My beaver traps are
even right where I left them.

Ooh, and I caught a couple!

So that's what that smell is.

I owe Ava an apology.

I guess she never did
supply what she denied.

Having you back
is just like old times.

Yeah. How does it
compare to city life?

Well, everything moves faster there

and people aren't as
friendly like they are here.

I don't think I fit in
school very well either.

Why not?

Apparently, if you're too
good at dissecting a frog,

it makes people uncomfortable.

Anyway, I hope my carving
kit is still where I buried it.

These beavers aren't gonna
turn themselves into hats.

Did you hear that?

Yeah, I suspected she buried knives.

That's why I don't
walk around barefoot.

No, about how hard it is
for Gwen living in the city.

She clearly wants to come back here.

So let's ask her to stay.

We can't just ask her.

She has too much pride.

The only reason she'll
stay is if she thinks it's for us,

Which it totally wouldn't
be, this is totally about her.

Totally.

I know the perfect way to fix this.

-Don't say acting.
-Acting!

Hear me out.

We can act like we can't take
care of ourselves without her.

Then she'll want to
stay and protect us.

You think we can pull that off?

Well, I know I have the chops.

And if we can get you to
start acting with your hands,

I think we got a chance.

Yes! And then Gwen will
stay, and we'll be happy!

I mean, she'll be happy
because we're selfless people.

Yup, it's true 'cause
we're saying it!

Finn. There you are.

A reporter is coming to camp,
and I need you to help me

get the whole camp as happy
as possible before he gets here.

You want my help?

Aren't you afraid I'll
just "Finn" things up?

No way.

You're a walking,
talking ball of joy.

Whether you're
finding something shiny

or catching butterflies or
even chasing your own tail,

which I keep telling you,
you don't actually have.

Are you sure it's not back there?

Sometimes I feel a little wiggle.

Despite that, you're
still my guy. So you in?

You're distracted by
my watch, aren't you?

So shiny.

Matteo.

I need you to help me think of
things that make people happy.

[SIGHS] The sweet
ignorance of yesterday.

Okay, do you think I can get
that with same-day shipping?

Gwen told me about her
awesome new guy friend, Kevin.

He has amazing hair
and rides a skateboard.

Wow, he sounds really cool.

I know! That's the problem.

He's way cooler than me.

And he lives close to her
while I'm a thousand miles away.

I'm afraid Gwen's
going to forget about me.

I don't know. Maybe
I'm just being silly.

No, not at all.

This Kevin guy sounds
like a major thr*at.

I knew it!

Well, I'll show them.

When I get invited to
Gwen and Kevin's wedding,

I'm giving them something
that's not on their registry.

Ha!

Matteo, don't give up.

You just need to b*at Kevin
at his own awesome game.

You know, become Kevin's Kevin.

You might be on to something.

Maybe I won't have to go
to their wedding after all.

Aw. I was gonna ask
to be your plus one.

Hey, Destiny, whatcha got there?

I made your go-to meal,
Scavenger Scramble,

with all of your favorite
forest pickings in it.

Ah, I've missed this!

City pickings always
have bottle caps in them.

Well, this sure doesn't
have anything dangerous in it.

I hope.

Okay, first bite.

Here I go.

I'm gonna do it.

It's happening.

Destiny, wait!

Oh, good.

You can't eat that.
It's got Fire Root in it.

Wow!

I had no idea.

That would have been terrible, right?

Well, you'd definitely have
a few days of the hot burps.

Whatever will happen the next
time I decide to forage for food?

[PANTING] Gwen!

There you are. I found a
bunch of Deadly Rump Spiders

in the Grizzly Cabin. Help!

[FAKE GASPS]

Aren't those named
Deadly Rump Spiders

because they inflict
painful bites on the rump?

And "deadly" because
if you try to sit down,

it's m*rder on your tushie?

Oh, no, I'll go get rid of them.

You know, when I leave, I'm
starting to get a little worried

about what could happen
to you and your tushies.

What do you think?

I think you took my hand
note too far. But that's okay.

It'll be easier to pull you
back than bring you up.

I meant about Gwen.

I think the Fire Root and
the Deadly Rump Spiders

were almost enough to make her stay,

but not quite.

Yeah. We need a big, dangerous scene,

something with
gravitas and spectacle,

but on a shoestring budget.

And I think I know
just... the... thing.

What do you have in mind?

Nothing. I thought it would
come to me if I said it really slowly.

Operation "Happy Camper"
is going great on my end.

All bunks have fresh linen

and I put these mints I
found in the supply closet

on everyone's pillow.

I think those are urinal cakes.

[GAGS AND SPITS]

Anyone could've made that mistake.

I haven't.

And that's saying something.

What's this?

It's a Compliment Booth.

I'll tell people nice
things about themselves,

so they'll be in a great mood
when the reporter arrives.

Watch this.

Linda,

you have more elegance and beauty

than my mom's new couch
I'm not allowed to sit on.

Wow, it works.

It's as strange as calling
something that goes in a toilet "cake,"

but it works.

And what's this?

Oh, that's a Puppy Tunnel.

It's like a car wash but
with puppies, not soap.

Oh, where'd you get the puppies?

Don't worry about it.

See? You're already
making campers happy,

while I'm trying to forget that I put
something that belongs in a toilet

in my mouth.

It's going great. I can't
wait until Lou sees it.

[PHONE BEEPS]

Uh-oh, looks like Lou's not gonna
make it back in time for the reporter.

She says the bus broke down.

She has to drive the
tractor back with Ava,

and it only goes eight miles an hour.

That's not good.

Yeah, she said they just got
passed by a baby armadillo.

That's okay. We got this.

They make baby armadillos?

We still got this.

Matteo? I got your note.

'Sup? Sorry, you caught
me mid "shred sesh."

That's skate lingo. Drink it in.

Ouchie!

But you know what they say,

"In skateboarding, ouchies
are part of the game, brah."

Whoa! Your hair changed
colors and fell asleep.

This is my natural look.

I didn't have time to curl
and dye it this morning.

I wanted to get here quickly
so you could see me...

"Grind some rails." [CHUCKLES]

That can't be right.

Kev is not the only one that can...

"shred the gnar."

This is pure gibberish.

Look, I'd love to stay, but I
promised I'd meet Destiny and Noah

at the junkyard.

They're being really weird.

Something you clearly know all about.

That's cool. It'll take me no time
to b*mb this ramp like a sick...

Dang it, I'm sweating off my lingo!

Check this out.

[CRASHING]

MATTEO: Ow! I think I
really did shred my gnar!

Check it out.

Wow, Finn, these flowers
are a nice, happy touch.

Where'd they come from?

Get this... the ground!

Well, I set myself up for that.

Hey, guys.

Why are there Weeping
Posies everywhere?

I'm sorry, what did you call these?

Weeping Posies.

The spores from these flowers
release a toxin that makes you cry.

But these can't be that flower
because Finn's fine. Right, Finn?

I've never been... happier.

I'm gone for one summer and
everyone starts to self-destruct!

Pull it together, people!

Finn, we've gotta get rid of these
flowers before the reporter arrives!

Hey, guys! I'm Marcus from
Lobsters and Such magazine.

Who's ready to see what could be

one of the happiest places in Maine?

This guy! And my editor.

Flowers? For me?

What a lovely welcome.
You shouldn't have.

We really shouldn't have.

He seems sad. Is he okay?

Oh, those are
definitely tears of joy.

I think you'll find...
[CLEARS THROAT]

that everyone is
happy here at Camp...

Ki-Ki-Kikiwaka.

Yeah, we just laugh
all... [SOBS] ...day!

And why're you crying?

Sheer bliss.

I'll show you. Watch, watch.

[SOBBING]

Ta-da!

See?

[CRYING] Bravo!

So what do you think?
Did we make the list?

[CRYING]

I saw Gwen coming. It's go time.

Good. If she thinks we're dumb enough

to get stuck in Junkyard
Judy's trash compactor,

then there's no way she'll leave us

at the camp unsupervised.

Right. Time to be stone cold idiots.

Gwen! Help!

Down here!

What are you guys doing?

Gwen, thank the stars you came!

Alas, we're trapped
in this set-piece...

I mean, trash compactor.

Save us!

You see how the hands
really shape the performance?

How did you guys get stuck in there?

You know us. Always
getting into trouble.

I'd forget my head if it wasn't...

In the skull drawer?

Still working on slang, that's cool.

Gwen, look around for something
you can use to pull us up.

Guys! There's a
broomstick right here.

How lucky.

Destiny, grab it
and I'll pull you out.

And then together
we can pull Noah up.

[SCREAMS]

Wait, why is that wall moving?
It should not be moving!

Gwen's leg hit the lever!

We're gonna get crushed!

We really might be stone cold idiots.

[WHIMPERS]

Kikiwaka is literally
built on a sinkhole,

yet this is how it all ends?

There has to be something
we can use to stop it.

Well, this didn't work
out the way we planned!

Aha! I see what you're
up to, you snakes.

Okay, fine! We keep putting ourselves

in these dangerous
situations on purpose.

Just get us out of this thing!

Wait, what? I was talking to those
two grass snakes in the corner.

What were you talking about?

Nothing!

I told you not to go off book.

You know what? We'll
talk about this later.

I've got an idea. Stand back.

Gwen, you did it!

Phew. So glad that's behind us

and we have absolutely
nothing else to discuss.

Who's hungry?

What did you guys mean when you
said you were doing all this on purpose?

Fess up, or so help me, I will
turn this danger box back on.

We were trying to
convince you to stay.

You said your new
life is kind of hard.

It is, but it's getting better.

And I'm learning new stuff every day.

Besides, just because something's
hard doesn't mean you don't do it.

We hadn't really
thought of it like that.

The city is just a new
wilderness for me to conquer.

When have I ever run
away from a challenge?

Gwen, we're so sorry we
put you through all of this.

And honestly,

the real reason we
wanted you to stay is for us.

NOAH: Yeah,

it was nice having the
g*ng back together.

We all just really missed you.

I really miss you guys, too.

But, don't worry.

I'll come back and visit again.

You guys are never
gonna get rid of me.

And if you try, I will find you.

That's my scary girl.

Are one of you touching my leg?

-No.
-Then that's a snake. Get out of my way!

Hey, Matteo, how are you?

Don't worry about me.

I'll be back on my board

with my golden locks
flowing in the wind

before you can say, "Who
invented this stupid sport?"

But I am worried about you.

Can you tell me what's going on?

You're not acting
like yourself, brah.

I know.

And I'm sorry.

It's just you really lit up when
you talked about how cool Kevin is.

That's because he is cool.

I love him so much.

Well, I guess I can't blame you.

He sounds like an amazing young man.

A credit to his parents.

Amazing young man?

Do you want to see
a picture of Kevin?

Sure. Show me this golden god.

MATTEO: Kevin is a dog?

Yeah, a golden retriever.

My parents got a dog to
help me adjust to city life.

He's a little bit like a wolf,

except his poop
goes in a plastic bag.

And, here's him. What'd you call it?

Shredding the gnar!

I'm so embarrassed.

I should have just been
myself from the start.

Matteo,

even if Kevin was a human boy,

he wouldn't be cooler than you.

You're smart, fun and
weird in all of the best ways.

Well, when you say it like that,
I guess I am pretty cool, huh?

You have no reason to be jealous.

And now you can
take this silly thing off.

Ow!

Oh, it's your real hair.

Wow.

Yeah, really regretting
committing to the look this hard.

Where's Marcus?

Somewhere laughing
about what a dingus I am

because I brought
those flowers to camp?

Of course not, buddy.

He's weepinguncontrollably
in the bathroom

because you brought
those flowers to camp.

See.

I told you I always Finn things up.

Finn.

It's okay to make mistakes.

I mess up with Lou all the time.

She always gives me more chances.

She should probably stop doing that.

Oh, no, totally. That's on her.

But the point is, is that just
because you made a mistake

doesn't mean you should
stop trying to succeed.

You still believe in me?

Of course I still believe in you.

But it's more important
that you believe in yourself,

And if you make a mistake,

always try again.

I've seen enough.

I don't know what it is about
this place, but I cannot stop crying.

Your chances of making the
Happiest Places in Maine list

don't look great.

And frankly, it's a crying shame.

Well, that's good.

I should use that.

Marcus, wait.

It's true, you haven't
seen the best of our camp.

But it really is the
happiest place on Earth.

[KIDS SOBBING]

Not helping.

I promise,

if you give us a second chance

and let me give you a tour,

I'm sure you'll change your mind.

For instance, have you
seen our soccer field?

Yes, I did.

But have you put a
ball under your shirt

and pretended you have a big belly?

No, I guess I did not.

Well, then come with me.

You don't know the joy of Camp Kikiwaka
until you've carried a soccer baby.

Great job, buddy.

I'm like, percent sure
these aren't flower tears.

Gwen? I can't believe you're here.

I'm so glad I made it in time.

Where's Ava?

I knew if the two of you went on a
road trip, only one would come back.

Ava's fine. She's just a few
miles back, still driving the tractor.

I finally just jumped off and ran.

It's much faster.

Lou, all you missed
was a flower att*ck,

three of us almost getting flattened,

and Matteo being jealous of a dog.

Hey, not the weirdest thing
I've ever been jealous of...

He should have said to himself.

So how'd things go with Lobster
and Such magazine, Parker?

You can ask the reporter
yourself since he never left.

[MARCUS CHUCKLING]

Their tongues are
as soft as their fur.

This is the happiest place in Maine!

[CHITTERING]

Finn.

Those puppies aren't
possums, are they?

I prefer to think of
them as forest puppies.

I'll take it.

Great job, Parker.

Well, I couldn't have
done it without my partner.

He really Finned things up.

You can't see it, but my
tail is wagging right now.

Yeah, probably should've
just stayed on the tractor.