02x04 - Smile, You're on Mars Camera

[bunniefuu]

♪ Just sit right back, and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ A tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ That started from this tropic port ♪

♪ Aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ The mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ The skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ Passengers set sail that day for a -hour tour ♪

♪ A -hour tour ♪

[Thunder]

♪ The weather started getting rough ♪

♪ The tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ If not for the courage of the fearless crew ♪

♪ The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ The ship set ground on the shore of this ♪

♪ Uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ With gilligan ♪

♪ The skipper, too ♪

♪ The millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ A movie star ♪

♪ The professor and mary ann ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪

Captioning made possible by warner bros.

Here, birdy, birdy, birdy!

Here, birdy, birdy, birdy!

Here, birdy, birdy, birdy!

Here, birdy, birdy, birdy!

Here, birdy, birdy, birdy!

[Whistling]

Psst! Gilligan, my boy, come in here at once.

All right, gilligan,

Let's see the merchandise.

The merchandise? Yes.

Oh, you mean the feather...

Oh, no, no, please!

Mrs. Howell might hear.

She's not even around here.

You don't understand.

She has very sensitive ears.

Now let's see what you have.

Oh. Remind me

To put some paper in your cage.

You're a very thoughtful husband, mr. Howell,

Going to all this trouble to make a pillow for your wife.

Well, of course I want her to have

The comforts of home. You see,

She's been a true friend

And devoted companion. She has that one quality

That every man wants in a woman.

She's loyal?

No. She's an heiress. She's loaded.

Gilligan, these just won't do!

I told you now,

Forget about sparrows and pigeons.

This is a pillow for a howell.

You've got to get feathers

From more exotic birds

Like the flamingos and peacocks.

I never saw any birds like that on the island.

You've got to stay with it, gilligan.

What you need

Is perspicacity and ingenuity.

I never saw any birds like that either.

Gonna throw these in the reject pile.

Must be a lot of bald birds.

Now look, you've got to get more feathers.

And remember, this operation is on the qt.

If anyone finds out,

They might tell mrs. Howell.

I hope you know how to keep a secret.

I do, mr. Howell.

All right, repeat my instructions.

No.

Why not?

It's a secret.

Here you are, sir.

Any audio contact?

Not a peep.

That tv camera should've activated

Minutes ago.

The retro rockets are still f*ring.

We'll get a soft landing.

What good is it?

We've got to activate that camera

Or this whole picture probe

Of mars is wasted.

We've still got some time before the landing.

Keep trying.

Seconds before landing.

Seconds.

Seconds.

Got to get that picture.

Seconds.

Seconds.

Seconds.

Second.

[Groans]

Well, it's landed.

But where?

What part of mars?

[Humming, beeping]

Here, birdy. Here, birdy, birdy, birdy!

Not little birdies, just big birdies.

Is there a peacock or flamingo in the group?

All his feathers for just one pillow!

Please, birdy, birdy! Oh. Thank you.

Thank...

You.

Whatever you are.

Here, birdy, birdy, birdies!

I'll try this rheostat again.

[Humming, beeping]

That did it!

We're getting pictures!

Wait a minute! Look!

Look!

I can swear I saw a hut!

A primitive hut!

Yes. I thought I saw it, too.

There it is again.

A crudely built hut.

Uh-oh. We've lost contact.

Well... We both saw it.

Somebody or something built that hut.

Right.

There's some form of life on mars.

Here, bird!

Here, birdy!

Here, birdy, birdy, birdy!

Here...

Aah!

Whoa!

Skipper! Skipper!

Skipper! Hey, skipper!

Skipper! Skipper!

What's wrong, gilligan?

Oh, you should see it, skipper.

It's really weird and strange.

It's got these things on the side like this,

And it's got an eye... Like that!

Aah!

Legs sticking in the sand like...

Never mind that, gilligan.

Did you get its feathers?

What do you mean feathers?

What's all this about feathers, darling?

Uh, feathers? No.

Gilligan didn't say anything

About feathers.

What he was talking about... He meant, uh,

The weather's report.

It's really spooky, skipper.

It's big and heavy

And made out of some strange-looking metal.

A strange-looking metal?

Well, we'll have to get the professor

And investigate it. Ok.

Well, wait a minute. You'll have to show us

Where to investigate

This big metal whatever-it-is.

It's back... This way, skipper...

I'm convinced this vehicle

Is the final stage

Of an outer-space research program.

Me, too.

It's obviously intended to relay

Some kind of information back to earth.

I agree.

Gilligan, why don't you stop that?

You don't know anything at all

About space.

I know one thing about it.

You take up more of it than I do.

Very funny.

Gilligan, there are types of space.

There's the space up there,

The space down there,

And the space between your ears!

Gilligan, I suggest you head back to camp

And listen to the radio

For some news about this.

In the meantime, skipper,

Let's you and I move this equipment

To the clearing where we can work on it.

Newscaster: cape kennedy reports further developments

On the mars probe.

There's no doubt in the minds

Of our top scientists

That life may exist on the planet mars.

Really?

Really, folks. This conclusion was reached

When photographs taken from the tv camera

Just before impact

Clearly revealed palm trees and primitive huts.

They're doing their best to reactivate the camera

Which may have survived the landing.

Stay tuned for further developments.

I better go tell the skipper and the professor.

Life on mars...

Well, there's no doubt about it, skipper.

This was meant to take photographs in space,

Perhaps the moon or even mars.

Skipper! Professor!

I've got news! I've got news!

Well, good. Good.

They say anything about this?

No. All they talked about was some pictures

They took of mars, and guess what,

There's life on mars

Because it has palm trees and huts just like we have!

Oh, that's all very interesting,

But it has nothing to do with us.

I'm afraid it does, gentlemen.

Those palm trees and huts they're talking about

Are right here.

Wait a minute. Say that again.

You're beginning to sound like gilligan.

No. Those pictures they're talking about

Were taken by this space camera.

You mean they think this camera landed on mars?

Exactly.

Then there is life on mars because we're alive!

Some of us are!

Imagine getting shipwrecked and landing on mars!

Boy, what a storm? Gilligan...

All right, skipper.

Gilligan, you better get back to that radio

And listen for further developments.

Right, professor.

Skipper, I've got an idea.

If we can repair this camera,

We might be able to let cape kennedy know we're here.

However...

We've got all the parts. Why not?

As I was about to say, skipper,

We've got all the parts

Except the most important one... The lens.

Must have fallen off on impact.

Then it's gotta be near the point of impact.

We'll form a searching party

And search every inch of ground.

If there's a lens on this island,

We'll find it!

Darling, you know we've been searching

For almost an hour,

And something just occurred to me.

Uh, what's that?

You haven't told me what we're searching for.

Oh, yes, yes, of course.

We're searching for a lens.

Oh, a lens! Oh!

Darling, what's a lens?

The lens of a camera, you see.

It looks like a piece of glass,

And it's round and about inches wide.

Oh, you just described the diamond

In my engagement ring.

I'm afraid it's even larger than that.

But it's very important.

The professor says we must find it at once.

Oh! Maybe it could have rolled under here.

Oh! Eesh! This bush is so dusty!

Oh, yes, allow me, my dear.

One thing I can't stand... That's a messy jungle.

Oh, thank you, darling. Oh, thurston!

I found a lens!

No, no, my dear.

That's the bottom from a bottle of bubbly.

I've been throwing our empties there.

Sort of our secret stash.

Darling, you think of everything!

I know, dear.

Ginger, I'm exhausted.

We've been looking for this thing for over an hour.

I must be losing my touch.

If there's a camera lens around,

I usually find it.

Maybe the thing rolled over in here!

Well, we've looked everywhere else.

Oh, I feel something!

Thurston, there's something in there.

Something with fingers!

Well, let's go! It might be a gorilla's nest!

I can't!

It's got me by my ring!

I think I found the camera lens!

It's big... And it's round!

It feels like glass!

Well, pull it out, ginger.

I can't. It's stuck.

Here, I'll help.

Pull! Pull, lovey!

It's got me. I can't!

Let go of the ring! Anything! Pull, darling!

Aah!

Oh, my dear!

Are you all right, precious?

Mrs. Howell! What a lovely ring!

If you don't mind!

It's never been off her finger

Since the day we were merged.

Professor, I know this is a small island,

But that lens could be in a million places.

On the contrary, skipper. According to my calculations,

Figuring the area of impact, the angle of descent,

And the fact that the lens is round and will roll,

It has to be somewhere in this area.

All right. If you say so. But I still say

The chances of finding that lens are zero!

♪♪♪

Hi, gilligan.

Oh, hi.

[Skipper chuckles]

The supply hut!

Mr. Howell's feathers!

They'll find them! Oh!

Gilligan, what are you doing?

Who, me?

I don't recall anybody else

On this island named gilligan.

I'm just standing here.

I asked you to listen to the radio.

I did. I listened real good. I heard a new song.

It goes... ♪ Don't go in there, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ There's nothin' in there, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

Gilligan... Professor,

I know exactly what he's trying to do.

You do?

Yes. He doesn't want us

To go into the supply hut.

Supply hut? Who said anything about a supply hut?

You told me to stand here,

And I said I was just standing here,

And you said listen to the radio. I listened.

I heard a new song. It went, ♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, yeah... ♪ Gilligan!!

He's probably got one

Of his famous collections there,

One of those banana skin collections,

Or maybe it's a clam shell

Identification bracelet.

There's nothing in there but a bunch of feathers.

Feathers? What feathers?

It's a secret.

What's a secret?

The feathers I'm collecting

For mrs. Howell's secret pillow.

Gilligan, get back and listen to that radio!

We are trying to do something important here!

Exactly! We couldn't care less

Whether you had a feather

Off the goose that laid the golden egg!

What goose?

The goose that laid the golden egg.

You know, inthe fairy tale.

Laid a golden egg?

Yes, gilligan.

Once upon a time, there was a goose,

A goose that laid a golden egg,

And this goose was very important...

Oh, never mind, gilligan!

Please, please get back to that radio!

Exactly!

You guys won't take any feathers

When I'm not looking, will ya?

We have more important things to do!

Would you get over to that radio?

Yes, sir.

I wonder where that feather rolled.

Where the feather rolled.

Where the lens rolled!

Professor, one of these days,

Right there...

Newscaster: there may be some scattered clouds later today.

But all indications point to clear and fair weather

The remainder of the week.

There's no more news on the radio about mars.

It doesn't make any difference now anyway!

We can't work the camera without the lens.

Exactly.

We might just as well start dinner.

Gilligan, get that fire started.

Wait a minute.

I'll give you some matches.

I don't need matches.

I got this neat magnifying glass I found.

Gilligan, you found the camera lens!

You found it, you found it!

That lens may save all of us!

Oh, boy, oh, boy! Yippee! Yippee! Yippee!

[Glass shatters] yippee...

Maybe you'd better give me the matches.

Matches...

Professor bancroft, the outside world

Is anxiously awaiting developments on the mars probe.

Have you had any further visual contact, sir?

Not yet.

We're hoping that the technical problem

Lies here with us

And that the cameras themselves

Have not been damaged.

We're still trying to reactivate them.

Based on your earlier photographs,

Do you still expect to find further evidence

Of life on mars?

Well, at this point,

We'd rather not speculate.

However... Upon closer examination

Of the primitive huts in the enlarged photos,

There is a strong possibility

That some type of intelligent being

Exists there. On the other hand...

George, do you remember washington's orders?

Could I please change all that to

No comment?

Please yell at me!

I can't stand the tone of what you're not saying!

We know you didn't mean to smash the lens,

We're just trying to figure out

What to do now.

If they can activate this equipment

Back at cape kennedy,

We've got to have this ready and fixed!

Well, I'll finance you in whatever you need.

It's too bad

We can't send for a tv repairman.

A tv repairman?

Look, I don't mind

Golden time double-time,

But tv repairman time,

Even I couldn't afford that.

Let's let the professor concentrate.

It'll take more than concentration.

Somehow we've got to get this lens

Together and make it function.

Maybe we could use rubber bands.

Great idea, gilligan, but where in the world

Are we gonna get rubber bands?

We could slice up my sneakers.

We appreciate your sacrifice, gilligan,

But we need something

To put this lens together

That won't interfere with the tv picture...

Some sort of glue.

We'll start drilling for some immediately!

Mr. Howell, you don't drill for glue.

Oh, no? You should see some of the oil wells

That I got stuck with! Hah hah hah...

It's a joke!

I thought it would alleviate the tensions!

We could make some glue from tree sap,

Strong enough glue.

If we could boil down enough sap,

We might get an organic resin

That would work.

I'll get on it right away!

Now, wait a minute.

What do you know about getting sap out of a tree?

I know all about it, skipper.

I saw it in a movie once.

You take a Kn*fe like this, see,

And you go up to the tree

And give it a slice like that.

Heavens! I've been shish kebabbed!

[Moaning] oh! Oh! Ho! Medic! That smarts!

The chief of staff!

Dumb tree!

Gilligan, you don't have to do it that way.

Just use pails.

Why didn't I think of that?

Gilligan, I think things out very carefully

Before I put my foot into anything!

Well, now, hurry up!

Looks like you're stuck. Can I give you a hand?

No, gilligan.

You can't give me a hand.

But I would appreciate it

If you'd put your neck right in there.

Skipper, are you sure you're stuck?

Yes, gilligan. I'm stuck.

Are you sure positively you're stuck?

I'm sure positively I'm stuck!

Are you definitely positively sure you're stuck?

I'm definitely positively sure I'm stuck!

Gilligan... [cr*ck]

The professor is waiting for the glue!

Ok, skipper, it'll be ready in a minute.

Gilligan, you'll never get finished that way.

The stick is broken. Can't you see that?

Oh! Oh... Never mind stirring it anymore.

You're gonna make butter out of it!

It must be ready by now!

I'll test it skipper.

Well?

[Mumbles]

[Mumbling]

It's ready, skipper.

There. That's about the best I can do, skipper.

You think the lens'll work, professor?

We won't really know

Until remote control activates this camera.

Nothing yet, george.

[Beep beep]

Yes?

Bancroft here.

Fine!

Let us know when you're ready!

We're in luck, john.

They think they found the problem.

We're going to try another visual contact

In minutes.

I think I should have worn another hat.

This one won't photograph at all.

No. We're not too late, mary ann.

He'll have it fixed in just a minute.

All right, everybody get ready.

If and when they reactivate this equipment,

We've all got to be ready to be on camera.

We've got to be right in there...

Hold it. You'll all be in the picture.

There's no sense arguing

About who stands in front of the camera.

We'll do it the democratic way,

According to who's who!

Wait a minute. Where's gilligan?

Gillig...

We can't forget our little buddy!

Gilligan, where are you?

I'll be right there.

Oop.

I'd better cover it.

One thing about glue...

It's a real dust collector.

What are you doing back there, gilligan?

When the camera goes on,

They won't be able to see you!

That's what I had in mind.

What do you mean?

If I stand in front,

The whole world will see me.

If the whole world sees me,

That means the united states will see me.

If the united states sees me,

That means my home town will see me.

If my home town sees me,

My brother will see me,

And if my brother sees me, he'll punch me

Because I'm wearing his shirt.

I think we'd all better relax.

Nothing seems to be happening.

[All talking]

Gilligan, take the signs.

Don't wander off, now, gilligan.

Mrs. Howell: professor, how do we know

When that thingamajig is working?

Oh, we'll know, mrs. Howell. It'll start to hum.

Hum! With the money we spend in space,

You'd think they'd send up one

That knows the lyrics!

[Lid thunking]

Do you all hear what I hear?

Let's take our positions, quickly!

Wait a minute, folks. I hear what you hear,

But it's not coming from the camera.

It's coming from over there!

Gilligan, what did you do?

Nothing. I just covered the pot

To keep it from getting dirty.

But you know what happens

When you cover a boiling pot with a lid!

No, what?

Sorry... [All complaining]

Skipper: you're gonna be sorry!

Where is he?

Wait till I get my hands on him.

It wasn't my fault, was it, professor?

George... It's all go now from this end.

Let's try it again.

[Humming and beeping]

[Men cheer] it's working!

It's working! We did it!

Yes... I can see the hut

And the palm trees...

But I don't see any sign of life.

Let's try a wider angle on the lens.

Look! Look!

We've proved it, john!

There's life on mars!

Yes... And what life!

Chicken people!

They seem to be half-human and half-bird.

Look! They're plucking the feathers off themselves.

What were all those feathers doing in the hut?

We'll never get all these feathers off of us.

Gilligan: I guess we'll just have to wait

For the molting season.

Skipper: gilligan, why don't you sit down

And stay there?

What's that big birdman doing to that little birdman?

I can't be sure, george,

But I think he's trying to force him to lay an egg!

Gilligan: hey, professor,

What does that red light mean on the camera?

Professor: gilligan, that red light means...

What? It's humming!

It's working! It's working!

Taking pictures!

George... They've seen our camera,

And they're waving!

Why would they do that?

They've never seen a camera before.

Well, I suppose they think it's some strange creature,

And they're trying to get friendly with it.

They still think they're looking at mars!

Help us! They can't see us!

Oh, we forgot the signs!

I'll go get 'em! I'll go get 'em!

Here they are!

Here are the signs! Here are the signs!

[Men moaning] aw...

Hit him with the signs!

Hit him with the signs!

Skipper, don't you think

You're being much too hard on poor gilligan?

Not at all, professor.

This whole feather mess was his fault.

I'm just making the punishment

Fit the crime.

What time is it?

: .

Gilligan!

Gilligan, it's time again.

Cuckoo. Cuckoo.

Cuckoo.

♪ Now this is the tale of our castaways ♪

♪ They're here for a long, long time ♪

♪ They'll have to make the best of things ♪

♪ It's an uphill climb ♪

♪ The first mate and his skipper, too ♪

♪ Will do their very best ♪

♪ To make the others comfortable ♪

♪ In the tropic island nest ♪

No phone... No lights...

♪ No motorcars, not a single luxury ♪

♪ Like robinson crusoe ♪

♪ It's primitive as can be ♪

♪ So join us here each week, my friends ♪

♪ You're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ From stranded castaways ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪