02x06 - Quick Before It Sinks

[bunniefuu]

♪ Just sit right back, and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ A tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ That started from this tropic port ♪

♪ Aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ The mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ The skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ Passengers set sail that day for a -hour tour ♪

♪ A -hour tour ♪

[Thunder]

♪ The weather started getting rough ♪

♪ The tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ If not for the courage of the fearless crew ♪

♪ The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ The ship set ground on the shore of this ♪

♪ Uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ With gilligan ♪

♪ The skipper, too ♪

♪ The millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ The movie star ♪

♪ The professor and mary ann ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪

And the u.s. Department of education

Well, there you are, gilligan. Ha ha!

How come you got up so early?

Oh, I wanted to get an early start,

Catch something nice for dinner,

Something you like.

Ah. The early bird catches the worm, eh?

You like worms?

Of course not.

I got a nice batch of lobsters,

But if you like worms...

Gilligan, that's just an expression,

A way of saying something.

These are real beauties. Real fat, see?

Yes, aren't they, though? Well.

Aah! Aah! Gilligan, get... Uhh! Uhh!

You can bite him back tonight.

Thanks a lot, gilligan.

I better get these over to the girls.

Yes, gilligan. Ooh...

Hello, professor.

Skipper.

Look at the nice lobster

That gilligan got for us for dinner.

The condemned will eat a hearty meal.

The condemned will eat a hearty...

What do you mean?

Look.

It's just a piece of wood.

It's a measuring stick.

I've been using it to mark the highest point

The water's reached on the island.

And I've been keeping a very careful check.

The stick is almost underwater.

Exactly.

And since there haven't been any freak tides or storms,

There's only one possible conclusion.

Our island is sinking into the ocean.

Oh, no.

I've got to talk to you, mr. Howell. It's important.

Not as important as this putt. It's for a birdie.

But, mr. Howell...

Please, professor, you're ruining my concentration.

This is the final hole

Of the howell $ , open.

Now, if I sink this putt, I'll win it.

That's what I want to talk to you about... Sinking.

Just... Just watch the flag when I putt and...

[Mumbling]

There you go.

Aah! Ho ho!

Drat it!

Drat it! I missed it!

Well, that means there'll be a playoff with mrs. Howell.

I believe in keeping the money in the family, my boy.

Now, what did you say about sinking?

The island, mr. Howell. It's sinking into the ocean.

Oh, thank heavens!

For a minute I thought I was losing my putting touch.

I thought everything... Sinking?!

Yes. Our island will soon be covered with water.

Well, how am I going to break the news to mrs. Howell?

Well, it's bad news, indeed.

It certainly is. She'll be furious.

No playoff?

The island is sinking, mr. Howell.

If the women know the end is near, they'll panic.

Mr. Howell, we've got to be strong.

I'm sure gilligan won't take this lying down.

Help! I'm drowning!

You're all right, little buddy.

You're all right.

Now, you just fainted and I revived you with a little water.

Oh, I'm sorry, skipper.

That's all right, little buddy.

What are we gonna do?

The first thing we must do

Is remain calm and cool.

You won't get hysterical, will you?

Right.

And you won't panic.

Right.

And you won't be afraid.

Wrong.

Out of 's not bad, skipper.

Well, professor, have you come up with anything yet?

I've been racking my brains,

But I don't see any way out.

I told gilligan to meet us here.

I don't know where he is.

Gilligan: here I am, skipper.

Gilligan, what are you doing?

This is no time for games.

It's not a game, skipper.

When the water comes up,

We'll walk on stilts.

Gilligan, that's ridiculous.

And when the water gets higher, we'll build higher stilts.

Professor, how high do you have to go

Before you get a nosebleed?

Gilligan, you can get a nosebleed right down here,

If you know what I mean.

What a stupid idea.

Wait a minute. Maybe it's not so stupid.

See?

Gilligan's idea is to stay higher than the water.

And that's our best solution.

You mean we're gonna all be on stilts?

No, no, no, no. We find the highest ground on the island

And build a new hut.

That should keep us safe as long as possible.

Good thinking, professor.

Well, gilligan should get the credit.

And by the way, you better get down off there

Before the women see you and get suspicious.

I'll help you, gilligan.

Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you everywh...

Oh, gilligan, what on earth are you doing up on those stilts?

Stilts? What stilts?

Oh, these stilts.

Stilts?

Uh... W-well, I tell you, mrs. Howell,

Gilligan has found a new way to pick coconuts.

Haven't you, gilligan?

Oh, yeah. It's a great way.

Gets me real close to them.

All right, gilligan.

Run along and start picking some coconuts.

E-easy, now.

Easy.

Careful, gilligan.

The ground is soft over there.

Oh, yes.

Ohh...

Whoa!

Whoa!

Ooh... Ooh... Aah... Hang on, gilligan!

Ohh... [Shouts]

Skipper: gilligan!

I got one.

Uhh...

Little buddy, did you hurt yourself?

Seems like quite a lot of work to go to

For one little coconut.

I'm ok, I guess.

Well, that's good,

Because we need every available man.

Every available man?

Yes. We want you men to landscape

All the area outside the huts.

The... Uhh!

Mrs. Howell: immediately.

We girls are going to beautify the place,

Because we may have to stay here for a long, long time.

But we're not... Uhh... Not what?

Uh... Uh... Not, uh...

We're not against the idea, mrs. Howell.

I mean, that's the very idea we were thinking of,

Wasn't it, professor?

Professor: absolutely. Good.

Wasn't it, gilligan?

That's right. That's just what we were thinking.

Good boy.

You see, I didn't tell her about the...

Boy, that's a big one, professor.

Well, thank you, ginger.

But believe me, the last thing

This island needs right now

Is a rock garden.

But you will get me some more,

Won't you, professor?

Well... Just how many more

Do you think you're going to need?

Oh, I don't know.

About or or... .

I don't know.

[Grunts]

Can't you go any faster?

[Grunting]

I'm doing the best that I can.

Well, you'll have to do better, gilligan.

Remember, we've got to start working that new hut

As soon as possible.

Well, when are we gonna change positions?

I've been out in front for over an hour.

We're doing all right.

You made up the schedule.

For the first hour, you plow and I pull.

You're right.

Ok, we'll switch.

Now, I'll plow and you pull.

That's better.

Dear, wake up.

Thurston.

Oh, they're playing our song.

Shall we go back to work?

Oh, of course, my dear.

Uh... Uh... Uh, clippers.

Clippers.

Scissors.

Scissors.

Buffer.

Buffer.

[Sighs]

You almost through, professor?

Almost.

But we need more bamboo poles.

Well, that's mr. Howell's detail.

[Groans]

[Yawns]

[Thunk]

Mr. Howell,

You just dropped that bamboo pole

On your foot.

I know.

But you didn't yell.

I'm too tired.

I'll yell tomorrow.

Mr. Howell, try to get some bigger poles.

I don't know how we're gonna build a hut at this rate.

Guess we haven't any choice.

That's true. We've got to build the hut secretly,

And at night,

Or tell the women about the island sinking.

[Yawning] and we can't do that.

Gilligan,

You've accidentally tied yourself to the pole.

It wasn't an accident, skipper.

It's the only way I can keep from falling down.

I doubt that.

[Birds chirping]

Good night.

Come on, little buddy.

[Snoring]

Good night, gilligan.

Good night.

Good morning!

Everybody up. Time to go to work.

[Groaning]

Oh, I love decorating.

I'm a born decorator, you know.

When I saw the... Ohh... Uhh.

How's that, mrs. Howell?

I like it right here.

Um... No, I don't think that's right.

No, uh, we'll try it back there.

[Grunting]

There.

That's good.

But not quite good enough.

Uh, try it, uh, try it in that spot.

See what I mean, gilligan?

Women don't know how to make up their own minds.

I suppose you men could do better?

We certainly could, mrs. Howell.

We could make up our minds.

Be my guest, gentlemen.

We think it looks fine right here.

Me, too.

On second thought, skipper,

Maybe it'd look better up there.

Gilligan!

Ha ha.

See what you did, you...

Skipper, can't we rest for a minute?

Ok.

We've been going like this for hours

Without any sleep.

Can't we just shut our eyes and get winks?

No, gilligan.

Can't we shut one eye and get winks?

No, gilligan. We've gotta finish the job.

Now, come on. Let's go.

Ohh...

I wonder where mr. Howell is.

He's late.

[Footsteps]

That sounds like him. Is that you, mr. Howell?

I'm sorry.

I... I dozed off.

I threw on the first thing I could find

And I came right over.

I don't know whether you know it or not, mr. Howell,

But I think you're wearing your wife's bathrobe.

Oh, is that what it is?

I... I thought my cashmere jammies had unraveled.

It tickled my fancy.

Come on, mr. Howell. We've got to take these palm fronds

And make a wall.

Professor: forget it, men.

Forget it?

I just checked the lagoon.

The water's twice as high as yesterday.

I wish I could teach my stocks to do that.

Well, but, this is the highest ground on the island, professor.

We should be safe here.

The way the water's rising,

There's no ground high enough to save us.

We'll be underwater in... Days.

Days?

Maybe .

Oh, thank goodness.

There's no use stalling any longer.

We've got to tell the women the truth.

They must know the island is sinking.

And the fact that there's no hope for survival.

Sounds like a meeting of the optimists club.

Who's gonna tell them?

Well, as your skipper,

I know that there's only one choice.

This unpleasant duty has got to fall on only one man.

Mr. Howell.

Me?! You're the skipper.

It's your duty.

But you're an executive.

You know how to handle these matters in a businesslike way.

Well, that's different if you want to handle it

In a businesslike way.

Then you'll handle it?

Yes. I'll dictate a letter and send it out in triplicate.

Oh, mr. Howell, we haven't got time for that.

Well, that lets me out.

I think I'll go down to the lagoon

And see if my money belt will float.

[Muttering]

Professor, you always have a solution to everything.

What shall we do about this?

The direct approach.

A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.

I guess it is.

I just saw ginger go into her hut.

The thing to do is to go right in and tell her. Agreed?

Agreed.

Good. Then you tell her.

Me?! But... No buts, gilligan.

Go right in and talk to ginger.

The direct approach.

Ok, little buddy? Go ahead.

Yeah.

Ginger?

Oh. Hi, gilligan.

You're just in time.

What am i?

A girl.

No. I'm a tree.

I'm doing an acting exercise,

And I'm imagining that I'm a tree.

Oh, well, seeing as you're busy, I'll come back later.

Maybe next summer when the leaves are out.

Why aren't you out working on the landscaping?

Oh, that's what I came to tell you. We've stopped working.

But you promised.

Well, the reason we stopped working is because...

Well, because...

We only have a few days left on the island.

We have?!

Yeah.

W-well, that's wonderful!

It is?

Well, yeah. That means you found a way off.

Well, yeah, we'll be kind of off the island, all right.

Well, then we're saved! We're rescued!

Oh, gilligan, you made me so happy!

Mmm!

Hey, ginger.

What?

Oh, nothing.

Oh, boy!

Oh, I'm getting off the island.

I can't believe it.

Oh, hollywood, here I come.

Ooh la la.

Professor.

I didn't think ginger would take it so hard.

Look at gilligan. It looks like she punched him in the jaw.

What happened, little buddy?

Oh, she kissed me.

She kissed you?

For telling her

That the island is sinking?

Gilligan, you were supposed to take

The direct approach.

I did. I tried to tell her

We're getting off the island,

And she got mixed up, and she thinks we're being... Rescued.

Rescued?

For goodness' sakes,

Can't you ever be firm and strong?

Well... Eee!

Oh, skipper!

Isn't it wonderful?

Tell me, how do we get off the island?

Now's your chance, skipper.

Be firm and strong.

[Stammering]

Professor?

What about the professor?

W-well, it's just that, um...

The professor has got his transmitter fixed, haven't you?

Ohh!

Why, yes, yes.

Now, uh... Now we can contact someone.

You mean we're in contact with the outside world?

Oh, that's wonderful. Wait'll I tell the girls about it.

They'll be so happy. Ohh!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Firm and strong.

Yes. Firm and strong.

Professor, this should really pass for a transmitter.

We ought to be able to get by with it.

Hey, it looks real good, professor.

I bet the girls don't catch on.

As long as they don't examine it too closely.

They'll be along here any minute now.

How does it work?

Well, first, gilligan, you get under the table.

I what?

You get under the table,

And you sound like a radio announcer.

But I don't know how to sound like an announcer.

Oh, certainly you can.

Mr. Howell: ready or not, here we come!

There's mr. Howell's signal.

But I don't know what to say.

Gilligan, just speak when you're spoken to,

And try and use a different voice.

I can't. This is the only voice I have.

Get under there, will you?

Disguise your voice.

Oh, isn't this exciting?

We'll make headlines in every paper.

Thurston, it looks awfully primitive.

I do hope you haven't invested in it.

No. I have every confidence here in the professor.

Where's gilligan?

Oh, he's around.

Give it a test, professor.

What kind of voice should I use?

Hello. Hello.

[Whistling like radio static]

It must be static.

'Ello.

Aha. We've made contact.

He sounds french.

Oh!

He is. He's a french radio announcer.

Oh! I hope he can speak english.

Hello? Hello. This is mary ann.

'Ello.

This is gill...

[French pronunciation] gilbert leblanche.

He comes in so clear, as though he were close by.

Closer than you think.

We'll find out where he is.

Uh, tell me, what is your position?

My position?

I am sitting down, my legs are crossed,

And it is very uncomfortable.

I... I guess he's in one of those cramped quarters,

You know, like a little ham radio shack?

Hello.

I'm an actress.

Can you tell me what's happening in hollywood?

I mean, any gossip?

[French accent] hollywood gossip?

Yeah. I haven't seen a newspaper in ages.

Ah, oui.

The big gossip is, uh,

What well-known hollywood star

Was seen at a nightclub with a well-known actress?

Oh, thank you.

I just love inside information.

There's something we must find out before we're rescued.

This is mrs. Thurston howell iii.

From newport, new york, palm beach,

And, of course, paris, mon chere.

Um, I want to ask you

About the new french fashions.

I don't know what to wear when we're rescued.

Why don't you wear your blue dress?

My blue dress.

Oh, that's perfect!

How does he know I have a blue dress?

Thurston, there's something very peculiar going on here.

Ow!

Ooh!

Gilligan.

Uh-oh. Heh heh.

It is sinking.

Well, I wish I'd learned to swim.

I know... Survival.

I never would have...

Professor: and that's why we didn't tell you.

Yes. We thought you were gonna panic

If you knew that the island was going underwater.

It's my duty to protect you.

After all, I'm the strong, stalwart male,

And you're the frail, helpless female.

[Baby talk] yes, you big, strong man, you.

Now, girls, time is getting short.

We must get organized.

How are we going to stay afloat?

Why don't we build an ark like noah did?

Why, that's a wonderful idea.

We'll take the raft the men started to build a couple months ago

And we'll put a new hut on it.

Excellent!

Now, we must get going.

We have a million things to do.

Now, why didn't we think of that?

Lovey's so determined.

Now, when I pull on these vines,

It will cause the ark to rock up and down.

Oh.

We want to see if the ark

Is gonna be safe in a rough sea.

What are you doing with a life jacket on already?

Yes. The water won't be up here for days.

No sense in waiting till the last minute.

Skipper: all set, gilligan?

All set, skipper!

Ohhh!

Are you all right, little buddy?

[Groans]

Say something.

Skipper, I don't know if I'm ready for this test.

I'm barely recovered from the other one.

Don't worry, gilligan.

All the furniture is secured to the floor.

It won't slide.

All right, professor, we're ready for the eating test!

Let her rock!

It's just a matter of timing, gilligan.

Skipper, maybe we should nail the food to the table, huh?

I wish I could catch mine.

I'm working up quite an appetite.

When it goes by again, I'll make a s*ab at it.

Uhh!

Ohh!

Aah... Sorry.

Gilligan...

Maybe we'll do better at the drinking.

I'll get the coconut milk.

Do that.

Hang on to the table, gilligan.

That's right.

All right.

Say when. Ready?

When, gilligan.

And now, gilligan,

This will be the most important of our tests,

Being as we're in our hammocks so much.

Yeah. We'll be too weak from the lack of food

To stand up.

Ok, professor!

How are you doing, gilligan?

Ok, skipper.

Hold on, little buddy.

I think the professor's gonna rock us faster.

These hammocks work fine.

Ha ha ha ha!

Yes, gilligan.

I think we're going to make it.

Uh-huh, skipper.

From here on in,

It looks like smooth sailing.

Skipper! Gilligan!

Are you all right?

[Sigh]

Smooth sailing.

Well, that does it.

Professor, it looks like the captain's going down

With his island.

Well, at least we have

Some real nice fat lobsters for dinner.

Gilligan, where did you get that stick?

That old stick?

I use it to keep my lobster traps from floating away.

"That old stick"?

Well, it just happens to be the measuring stick I've been using

To mark how high the water's been coming up on the island.

And I've been putting it out in deeper water

To catch bigger lobsters.

Well, that explains everything.

The island isn't sinking at all.

Gilligan, look at that mess.

And it's all your fault.

Oh, well, skipper, it won't take very long

When all three of us pitch in to clean it up.

All three of us?

All three of us?

Yeah.

Me, myself, and i.

Exactly.

♪ Now this is a tale of our castaways ♪

♪ They're here for a long, long time ♪

♪ They'll have to make the best of things ♪

♪ It's an uphill climb ♪

♪ The first mate and his skipper, too ♪

♪ Will do their very best ♪

♪ To make the others comfortable ♪

♪ In their tropic island nest ♪

♪ No phone, no light ♪

♪ No motor cars, not a single luxury ♪

♪ Like robinson crusoe ♪

♪ It's primitive as can be ♪

♪ So join us here each week, my friends ♪

♪ You're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ From stranded castaways ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪