02x10 - Hi-Fi Gilligan

[bunniefuu]

♪ Just sit right back ♪

♪ And you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ A tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ That started from this tropic port ♪

♪ Aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ The mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ The skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ Passengers set sail that day ♪

♪ For a three-hour tour ♪

♪ A three-hour tour ♪

[Thunder]

♪ The weather started getting rough ♪

♪ The tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ If not for the courage of the fearless crew ♪

♪ The minnow would be lost ♪

♪ The minnow would be lost ♪

♪ The ship's aground on the shore of this ♪

♪ Uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ With gilligan ♪

♪ The skipper, too ♪

♪ The millionaire ♪

♪ And his wife ♪

♪ The movie star ♪

♪ The professor and mary ann ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪

When, skipper, today? Tomorrow? The next day?

I don't know, gilligan.

Guess.

Gilligan, I don't know when the typhoon will hit.

I guess wednesday.

Yeah. The typhoon will hit the island wednesday.

All right, wednesday. Come on!

What makes you think the typhoon will hit on wednesday?

Because bad things happen on wednesday.

Gilligan, bad things don't happen on just wednesday.

That's ridiculous.

No, it isn't. It was on a wednesday

That fatso flannagan tore his pants.

And it was on a wednesday that skinny mulligan

Got expelled for giving the teacher an apple.

Gilligan, you don't get expelled or suspended

For giving a teacher an apple.

With a worm in it?

Never mind.

Here, get this fruit off my shoulder.

Well, get it in the cave.

[Sighs]

And it was on a wednesday that bobby mcguire...

Gilligan, I am not interested.

We've gotta get these supplies in the cave before the typhoon hits.

When do you think it's gonna hit?

Tonight? Tomorrow? The next day?

Gilligan, I told you, I don't know!

Maybe next monday.

Never mind, gilligan! Just pile the crates!

[Bonk] [grunts] ow!

Buddy, are you all right?

Well, then come on out.

I'll come in and get you.

I'm sorry, little buddy.

It was strictly an accident.

I didn't hurt you too bad, did i?

Try moving your jaw back and forth.

Good. Now try opening your mouth.

[Orchestra playing]

[Music stops]

[Orchestra playing]

[Music stops]

[Stammering]

[Music playing]

[Music stops]

[Music playing]

[Music stops]

[Music playing]

Professor, I don't see how a smack in the jaw

Could turn him into a radio.

He's not a radio, skipper.

He's merely a simple form of receiver.

You see, the high-frequency sound waves

Are emanating from the molar

Which is pushed against...

Oh, never mind all the technicalities, professor.

The thing I'm getting at is I've been belted many times before,

But the only thing that ever came out of my mouth was a loose tooth.

From what I've been able to see,

One of gilligan's molars has been jolted out of position

And shoved against a tooth with a silver filling.

Open, gilligan.

Man, on radio: this is stationk.a.l.u., Honolulu, the voice of pineapp...

Close.

It's not too unusual a situation.

It's happened a number of times.

Yes, but not to gilligan.

Well, the atmospheric conditions,

The metal in his mouth,

The shape of his skull

Have all combined to make him a receiver.

Is there any chance, professor,

Instead of being a receiver,

Could we make him a sender

So we could get a message to hawaii?

No, I'm afraid not, skipper.

And unless I miss my guess,

The position of his head and body

Will bring in different stations.

Watch.

Open up, gilligan.

[Guitar music playing]

[Station switches]

[Classical piano music playing]

[Guitar music playing]

[Classical piano music playing]

[Man speaking]

Well, I'll be darned.

Gilligan, your tooth may go back

Into position by itself,

Or perhaps I'll have to find

A non-conductive substance

To coat it with.

Or maybe I'll pull the tooth.

Well, you make the decision.

I have to keep checking these weather reports.

What's the latest on the typhoon?

Still headed this way.

Man, on radio: which is bearing down

On the southwest pacific area is...

[Rock music from gilligan]

Gilligan, would you close your mouth?

Radio reporter: and there will be hourly reports

From this station.

[Feedback whistling]

You are going to have to stay away

From this transistor radio, gilligan.

The signals you're emitting

Are loud enough to cause interference.

I'll take him over and show the girls.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if our little buddy

Could be turned into a color tv?

[Music from gilligan]

Man, on radio: and now, ladies, for our last exercise,

Stretch back the arms.

Stretch out the fingertips. Come on, stretch!

Stretch!

[Station switching]

Woman, on radio: then the papa bear said to the baby bear...

Man: the many mothers who have...

Gilligan, stay in one position!

And that's it for today from stan the exercise man.

Oh, well.

Thanks, gilligan, anyway.

We appreciate it. Are you all right?

[Radio tuning]

Yeah, my jaw aches. It's kind of hard

To find a position where there's no station.

Oh, you just stay still and rest a while.

And don't do anything to tire yourself.

Oh, gosh no. We want you to rest up

For my favorite soap opera, blaze of noon.

Oh, you're not going to waste him on that, are you?

Waste him? Why, today we find out

If sarah goes to the electric chair,

If john needs an operation,

And if penny really is her mother-in-law's daughter.

I don't care if she's her mother-in-law's father.

I want to hear the academy awards.

[Tuning stations]

Woman: then the papa bear said to the baby bear,

"Who's been eating my porridge?"

And then the mama bear said,

"Who's been sleeping in my bed?"

And the baby bear said... Amazing.

There must be a way I can make money

From that boy's teeth.

This could be bigger than transistor radio.

Molar fm!

Bicuspid short-wave.

Yes, if there's just a way I could put it into market.

Take the teeth maybe and box them...

Thurston...

Never mind, dear. I'm trying to figure out

How to make a buck from teeth.

A buck from buck teeth! That's very funny.

I'm sorry, dear. I can't laugh.

I'm so miserable.

The professor won't let me listen to the radio.

Well, I'm terribly sorry, darling,

But I'm on the trail of something very, very important.

But the professor's wasting his time

On a tycoon.

No, dear. That's a typhoon.

You see, a tycoon, that's a man with money, like myself.

A typhoon is a big bag of wind.

Thurston...

Never mind what you're thinking. No comment.

But it's my favorite program, the fashion news!

But the professor's tracking a storm.

It's terribly important.

Well, so is the fashion news.

And today they're deciding

On the best-dressed women.

Oh, I just can't miss that!

No, no. Heaven forbid. You shouldn't.

Oh, then you will get me the radio.

I'll do better than get you a radio.

I'll get you a radio station.

Oh, darling, you're always so generous.

All we need is gilligan.

Gilligan? Where's gilligan?

Well, you don't have to look for gilligan.

All you have to do is listen for gilligan.

Man, on radio: repeat. West longitude.

Degrees south latitude.

Moving at miles per hour.

Stay tuned for complete coverage

Of the typhoon in one hour.

Better conserve the radio, skipper.

Check, professor.

How does it look to you?

I'm afraid it's shifting directly toward us.

Well, which side of the island do you think it will hit first?

It's too early to tell.

The crucial time should be tomorrow afternoon.

You want me to spell you?

No, you better get some sleep.

All right. I'll take over first thing in the morning.

Man, on radio: degrees...

[Dance music from gilligan]

[Music stops]

[Music resumes]

[Music stops]

[Music resumes]

Gilligan!

Little buddy!

You'll have to find yourself

Someplace else to sleep!

I've been lying down there for hours!

Now, I hate to do this to you, little buddy,

But I'm dead tired! Now go!

[Music resumes]

[Music stops] go! Go!

Man, on radio: degrees north longitude.

Repeat.

The typhoon took a severe easterly turn an hour ago

And has veered toward some uninhabited islands southwest of hawaii.

Mouth radio: and now madame legault sings

The kindakinder aria

From the opera fliedenstrausen.

[Feedback and opera singing]

[Glass shatters]

[Music and feedback continue]

[Music stops] gilligan!

You are jamming the radio.

Don't you understand?

Well, maybe you'd better go back in the hut.

[Music resumes then stops]

I see, you're keeping the skipper awake.

Well, listen, I've gotta listen to the storm warning,

So you've got to find someplace else to sleep.

[Music resumes and stops]

[Opera music]

Gilligan, my boy, people are sleeping!

[Music stops]

Opera at this time of the night!

I mean, really!

[Groans]

[Opera music playing]

Gilligan!

What are you doing?

Oh, quiet!

We can't even sleep!

Come on, now... [Opera music playing]

[Music stops] shh!

Go back to bed!

Man, on radio: the typhoon has now crossed the tropic of cancer

And has veered toward some uninhabited islands southwest of hawaii.

Gilligan... [Opera music]

[Crash] [both radios stop]

Gilligan!

Gilligan!

Gilligan, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm ok, professor.

You've gotta be more careful.

You can't... Gilligan, you're cured!

Huh? Yeah, I'm not a radio anymore!

Well, congratulations.

Oh... But unfortunately, the radio isn't a radio anymore, either.

Well, good. We needed some peace and quiet around here.

But I can't track the typhoon!

Oh, I didn't think of that.

Well, maybe it's not coming this way.

[Thunder and wind rumbling] is it a big storm, professor?

You remember the storm that shipwrecked us?

Yeah, that was the worst one ever.

Well, this typhoon

Will make that look like a spring shower.

It could destroy every living thing on the island.

Every living thing?

You mean, like, plants? Mm-hmm.

Animals? Yes.

And people? Yes.

[Thunder]

Well, I'm sorry, but I just can't fix it.

Well, let's not admit defeat.

Have another go at it, professor!

Maybe you could drop that in there and give it a...

It is no use, mr. Howell!

Without those weather reports,

We're in real trouble.

Yes, and from the look of those clouds,

I think that typhoon's gonna hit us

About sundown tomorrow. And hit hard!

We'd better head for the cave!

Captain, order "abandon island."

Look, mr. Howell, let's concentrate on the radio, huh?

Well, gilligan broke it. Let him fix it.

Gilligan is hardly an electronic wizard.

Oh, is that so?

Can you turn yourself into a radio?

Gilligan had nothing to do with it.

Two of his teeth jammed against each other.

It's as simple as that.

Yeah, and it's all because

I accidentally belted him one.

That's right, and when he hit the table,

It jammed it back into its normal position.

Well, if we hit him again, do you think he would turn into a radio?

Skipper: mr. Howell!

Now, wait a minute! It's only a soft rock.

Drop that rock.

Well, a little mayhem may save us all!

Mr. Howell, you can't expect a man to stand still

While you belt him with a rock.

Well, I don't expect him to stand... Certainly not!

Well, that's better.

Of course. What you do is you sneak up on him.

Then you hit him!

Mr. Howell, will you stop that!

A rock, for heaven's sake.

Hi, skipper. Any luck with the radio?

Nope.

There's a piece of copper wiring around here somewhere.

Maybe that'll help.

I did it again.

I didn't mean to bust the radio and unbust me, but I did.

Well, it was just an accident.

Yeah. Skipper,

If I was a radio, we wouldn't be in such trouble.

So?

I want to be a radio again.

Well, gilligan, it's not all that easy to do.

Sure it is.

I want you to hit me in the mouth as hard as you can.

You what?

I'm sorry, I can't say it again.

I'm chicken.

Say what?

Hit me in the mouth as hard as you can.

Gilligan, little buddy,

That's the most noble sacrifice anyone has ever made.

Well, I haven't made it yet.

In fact, I think the chicken in me is coming out.

[Clucks]

Let's go outside.

[Clucking]

Gilligan, never mind that.

Mary ann, guess what gilligan's gonna let me do.

What?

He's gonna let me belt him in the mouth again

So he can turn into a radio!

Oh, such heroism shouldn't go unrewarded.

Oh, but I can't watch.

Oh, ginger!

Right up against this tree.

But, i... I... Now...

Gilligan, mary ann just told me!

You're going to save our lives!

Yeah, I'm gonna get busted right in the mouth.

I just always knew you had your heart in the right place.

Take a look at my teeth. It's the last time they'll be in right.

Guess she can't stand the sight of blood, either.

Blood?

One moment, captain!

Oh, please, mrs. Howell, no more argument now.

We've made up our minds.

Oh, I wasn't going to argue.

I just want to remember him as he was.

Belt him good, captain.

Yes, mrs. Howell.

Are you ready, little buddy?

Ready.

I'm not. Sure you are!

No, I'm not, gilligan.

The sun is in my eyes.

It's not in your eyes. It's in my eyes.

Well, maybe that's an idea.

Why don't you close your eyes?

Ok, skipper.

Hey, skipper?

Yes, gilligan?

Where are you going?

I was just going to wash my hands.

No, you weren't.

You're afraid to hit me because I might hit you back.

Right, fatso?

Just a minute, gilligan!

That's nothing but muscle,

And I don't want you to ever forget it!

It's all fat, fatso!

Go ahead! Go ahead!

Oh, little buddy, I see exactly what you're trying to do.

Thank you, thank you.

But we've got to go through with this now.

All right, line up. And close your eyes.

Sure, skipper.

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

If it's a clean blow,

I'll reward you both ears and a tail!

Thanks, mr. Howell.

Both and a what?

Olé!

No, it's "timber"!

I invented it myself, lovey.

It's devilishly clever, but it's very simple.

You see, now when I shout to gilligan,

He opens the door.

This brings this hand that holds his pointed little head,

Releasing that heavy bag of coins.

Zing! Zow! And he is a radio again!

Oh, that's ingenious of you, darling!

Well, I always say, if you want something done,

You've got to do it yourself!

Is that true, thurston?

I don't know. That's the first thing I've ever done.

Oh, I'm so proud of you, dear.

Stand aside. There is an element of danger.

I'll call the little nitwit.

Gilligan! Gilligan, come in here!

I'm kinda busy, mr. Howell.

When I give an order, men jump!

Gross insub...

Gilligan!

Gilligan!

Gilligan!

Man, on radio: in a moment, the latest on the typhoon.

The typhoon took a severe easterly turn

An hour ago, creating terrible...

What'd you say, gilligan?

It is now heading due east,

Moving at miles per hour.

Gilligan's tooth! He's a radio again!

You did it, little buddy! How'd you do it?

Never mind that now!

The typhoon is headed straight for us!

Well, what should we do?

Well, let's head for the cave.

Well, I'll get lovey!

I'll get the girls!

All right, now women first.

Yes, yes, women first!

I said, women first!

Well, you can't expect ladies

To go into a dangerous cave

Without a man to blaze a trail!

Mr. Howell, there is nothing in there but supplies.

Exactly. Now, come on, girls.

Watch it, lovey, at all times.

All right, professor, you next!

No, but I have a reserved seat!

All right, mr. Howell, you go first.

That's right. I'll go first.

Watch it, lovey. I'm coming through, dear.

Come on, gilligan!

Uh, step to the rear of the bus, please, lovey.

Oh. Oh!

Oh, dear.

Mr. Howell, the of us will never fit in here.

Well, perhaps skipper and gilligan like the fresh air.

We'll just have to take out some of the supplies.

Well, what if the typhoon starts?

We still have to take out the supplies.

Take out the supplies.

Lovey, would you give me a hand with this...

Well, that's the last of them.

Fine, professor. All right, girls, in the cave.

Quickly. Move fast.

Mr. Howell, professor, go on, get in there. In you go, gilligan.

[Piano concerto]

No back-talk. Get in the cave.

Ooh!

Yes.

Aah! Oww! Ohh!

Skipper: can't you get in any farther?

The girls are squeezed against the wall now.

Ginger: I'm as flat as I can be.

[Piano concerto]

Well, can't you... Squeeze closer?

Perhaps if we all inhale.

, , .

[All inhale]

It's no use. We'll have to try another formation.

Skipper, can you get out now?

Watch it!

Gilligan, if you could get off my...

Oh, gilligan!

Now, don't bruise mrs. Howell.

I mean, after all... [Grunting]

That's really a tight squeeze in there, isn't it?

It's just not big enough for all of us.

If I went in first, then you, professor, then you, captain...

Mr. Howell, that cave is just not big enough for people.

Well, perhaps a crash diet...

High proteins, no bread, potatoes...

One of us will is going to have to stay outside and take his chances.

[Thunder]

Out here?

As the only married man, I'd like to say something.

I'd like to say that I'm the only married man.

As skipper around here,

I'm going to order everyone back in the cave.

I shall stay out here.

We haven't got time to decide who's the most necessary

Or who's the most heroic.

I gave an order!

And I'm willing to obey that order!

All right, we'll draw straws.

[Thunder]

The typhoon is almost upon us.

Must we make a decision immediately?

Yes, mr. Howell, we must make an immediate decision.

I know, but back home, you see,

We usually have a board of directors, you understand?

Then we vote, then we all go to the country.

And then sometimes, the proxies defer.

In that case, in a tie, lovey and i...

Oh, by george! You're the lucky one! The short one!

Ok, mr. Howell, back in the cave.

Professor.

[Thunder]

Little buddy, you've hardly got any ballast.

Hang on, now, and hang on real tight.

[Rock 'n' roll playing]

[Music stops]

Good luck.

[Thunder]

Thurston, you were so brave to draw straws with the rest of them.

You should've seen me. I pushed them all aside

And demanded to draw first.

Ah. We'll keep this straw,

And put it in our family scrapbook.

After we have it gold-plated, of course.

It shall always be a treasured memento.

Wait a minute. Hold that straw up.

That's the short straw.

Gilligan's was shorter than mine.

Everybody hold their positions here.

I'm going back out.

[Thunder]

Gilligan, little buddy...

You had a long straw...

And you broke it in half. Why?

We were all on the up-and-up.

We were all taking the same chance.

[Rock 'n' roll playing]

[Thunder]

Ok, I understand. I'm the skipper, right?

The professor?

Well, the professor's important to us, too.

And mr. Howell... I know. He's married.

But what about you? You're important, too.

Oh, come on. Look at all the important things that you do.

Well, gilligan, I mean, once in a while,

We get into trouble,

And you get us into more trouble.

No, gilligan, I know exactly what you're trying to do,

But you know why I'm out here?

I'm gonna hang onto you, little buddy,

When that typhoon hits.

[Thunder]

Isn't there any way all of us can fit in here?

Well, just so many sardines will fit in a can.

Where are you going?

I, um... I have claustrophobia.

Heavens, I hope it isn't catching.

Funny he should suddenly remember that.

Yes.

Professor, I order you back in the cave!

After the storm.

Look, I'm out here. I'll take care of gilligan.

I know you can, so I'll take care of you!

[Thunder]

Well, ladies, if you'll forgive me.

Oh, thurston!

I must, my dear.

Oh... Oh!

[Thunder]

Mr. Howell!

I just stepped out for a breath of fresh air.

Mr. Howell, why don't you go back in and calm the women?

That's an interesting experiment.

We must explore it sometime, professor.

Oh! Oh, my dear!

Lovey, a storm is about to hit!

I know, thurston.

But it's a typhoon! I know, thurston!

And you'll be k*lled! You mean, we will!

Really, mrs. Howell!

Oh, this is ridiculous!

That's what I told ginger!

It's kind of windy, isn't it?

Listen, if we're all going to stay out here,

Let's see if we can find ourselves some protection.

The crates! We'll use the crates!

[All chattering]

[Thunder]

[All screaming]

Professor: it's completely destroyed!

Little buddy, we came out to save you,

And you saved us!

That electrical storm certainly broke up the typhoon.

And fixed my tooth.

Wouldn't benjamin franklin

Have been interested had he been here?

Who?

Benjamin franklin.

I don't remember anybody by that name

Sailing on the minnow.

He experimented with electricity years ago.

Oh. Lucky thing he wasn't here with us.

Huh?

An old man like that could've never lasted through the storm.

Benjamin franklin was...

Unless he worked out with dumbbells

And took vitamin pills and ate big breakfasts

And things like that. Gilligan,

Benjamin franklin is dead.

Exactly. He's dead?!

I didn't even know he was sick.

Oh, what's the use, professor?

Will you start cleaning up the beach?

♪ Now this is the tale of our castaways ♪

♪ They're here for a long, long time ♪

♪ They'll have to make the best of things ♪

♪ It's an uphill climb ♪

♪ The first mate and his skipper, too ♪

♪ Will do their very best ♪

♪ To make the others comfortable ♪

♪ In their tropic island nest ♪

No phone. No light.

♪ No motor cars ♪

♪ Not a single luxury ♪

♪ Like robinson crusoe ♪

♪ It's primitive as can be ♪

♪ So join us here each week, my friends ♪

♪ You're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ From stranded castaways ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle! ♪