02x14 - Mine Hero

[bunniefuu]

♪ Just sit right back, and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ A tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ That started from this tropic port ♪

♪ Aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ The mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ The skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ Passengers set sail that day for a -hour tour ♪

♪ A -hour tour ♪

[Thunder]

♪ The weather started getting rough ♪

♪ The tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ If not for the courage of the fearless crew ♪

♪ The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ The ship set ground on the shore of this ♪

♪ Uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ With gilligan ♪

♪ The skipper, too ♪

♪ The millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ The movie star ♪

♪ The professor and mary ann ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪

[Hammering]

Hey, skipper!

Hey, skipper!

Gilligan, how do you expect me to finish this raft

If you keep interrupting?

With all that hammering, you're scaring the fish.

What's more important, catching fish

Or finishing this raft so we'll be rescued?

Well, getting rescued, of course,

But couldn't you hammer nice and soft and easy?

No, I can't hammer nice and soft and easy.

I've got to hammer like this. Ohh...

That was pretty soft, skipper.

Uhh!

You're scarin' the fish again.

Uhh, gilligan... Oh, what's the use?

Go catch some more fish.

I have to go get some more vines

To finish this raft, anyway.

Ok, I'll catch somethin' real big for dinner.

You do that.

Mmm.

[Sighs]

Oh! I got one!

Ooh, and it's a big one, too. Ooh.

Maybe it's a black marlin or a giant tuna.

Maybe it's moby d*ck. Unh.

Huh?

It's a mine, a great big mine.

Skipper! Hey, skipper, where are you?

Skipper, you gotta see this! It's got... And it kinda has...

And... And... Oh, boy. Uh, skipper!

Skipper! Skipper!

Skipper!

[Ticking]

Gilligan: skipper! Hey, skipper!

Guess what I caught!

[Ticking]

Skipper! Hey, skipper!

Hey, skipper! Hey, hey...

Skipper, I finally caught somethin' really big.

Well, fine, gilligan.

Why don't you bring it to the hut, and we'll cook it.

Yeah. Uh, cook it?

Skipper, we can't cook it.

You see, it's kinda shaped like that, and it's got...

Oh, gilligan, we're in no position to be particular.

Now, for goodness sakes, just cut it in small pieces.

Fillet it.

Not this.

Oh, gilligan, anything tastes good filleted.

You've got a Kn*fe, haven't ya?

Yeah. Well, use it.

But, skipper, my Kn*fe's too small.

Besides... Gilligan, I'm busy.

Now, for goodness sakes,

Will you just cut the tail off

And cut the head off and then bone it.

But, skipper, it doesn't have any bones.

It doesn't even have... Gilligan, I'm busy,

And I'm working up an appetite here.

Now, whatever you caught, I'll eat it.

Ok, skipper.

I sure hope you have a strong stomach.

Yes, this should do very nicely.

Oh, come on, professor. When are you gonna let us in on the secret?

There's no secret, ginger.

Oh, but the skipper's down at the lagoon

Making what looks like a raft,

And you're up here making what looks like a...

Well, a secret.

Well, it's really very simple, girls.

I'm gonna melt some metal down

To make an anchor for the raft the skipper's building.

And we'll send it out with a message on it.

Oh, sort of a floating s.o.s.

Exactly. Ohh.

And the reason we need the anchor

Is to keep the raft from drifting

Once it gets into the shipping lanes.

Oh, but, professor, an anchor doesn't just jump off of a raft.

Somebody has to push it off.

This timer will be attached to the anchor.

When enough sand has shifted...

The anchor will drop into the ocean.

Oh... Well, just like an hourglass.

Oh, I was once voted miss hourglass.

They said I had my sand in all the right places.

I won a loving cup.

I wish I had that loving cup right now.

We could use it to help make the anchor.

Well, how much more metal do you need?

I have a locket you could use.

Every little bit helps.

Oh, we'll go look through our hut.

See ya later. Good, good.

Oh, hey, ginger. Hey, mary ann.

Ohh, oh, oh. Guess what I caught.

Was it the measles?

No. Guess again. The chickenpox.

No. I'll give you a hint.

It's bigger than a breadbox

And smaller than the empire state building.

Gilligan, we can't be playing games now.

I've got to go get my gold-mesh pocketbook for the professor.

And I have to give him my gold sl*ve bracelet.

For the professor?

Oh!

Oh, I'm marvelous.

Good for me!

[Grunts]

Oh! Oh, I'm better than you are.

Uhh! You, uh...

Haven't been practicing in secret, have you, my dear?

Well, how could i, darling?

You only taught me the silly game this morning.

Well, I must be a very good teacher, then.

Get set for a booming serve.

Well, isn't it my turn to hit the poor little thing?

You missed the last one.

Ha ha! So it is.

In that case, get set for a smashing return.

That is yours.

Your serve, poncho.

Hi, mr. Howell. Guess what I found?

Uh! Uh... Uh...

Foul! I was distracted by a spectator. I...

Mmm.

Gilligan, gilligan, you're eating our bird.

Oh, maybe the poor boy's famished.

Maybe that's not the problem at all.

Maybe it's stuck there, and he can't get it out.

Mmm!

Thurston, you're right.

You're so right. I'll just take a little tug at it.

There you are.

Ah.

Now, why did you interrupt me

When I was enjoying such a staggering lead?

Staggering lead? Why, thurston, I was the...

Lovey, never mind.

You were about to say, gilligan?

I found a mine!

A mine?

Did you say, "a mine"?

[Muffled]

Oh, thurston, let the poor boy talk.

Ah.

Did you say, "a mine"?

Yeah, it's right over there.

Don't point! Someone might see you.

Besides, it's not polite.

Pay attention. You haven't told anyone else, have you?

I tried to, but they wouldn't listen.

Heh! Good. Good. Then it's our little secret.

Ok, but why are we whispering?

Because we don't want anyone to jump our claim.

Our claim?!

Don't! You can't trust anyone.

We're partners, my boy. - .

- ? I don't know what to do with my half.

Don't worry. I'll take care of your half.

Oh, gilligan, you're going to be rich.

I am?

It might be a diamond mine

Or an emerald mine.

I think it's an iron mine.

Or a gold and silver mine.

I think it's an iron mine.

Or it might be a jade mine.

Or a platinum mine.

I think it's an iron mine.

Well, even an iron mine is valuable.

Come, lovey. We'll draw up the papers for our new partner gilligan.

Uh... Mmm... Mmm...

Oh. I guess they can melt down this fingernail file.

Ooh, here's an empty lipstick holder.

Gee, there were a lot of good kisses in there.

Here's a gold sl*ve bracelet

An old boyfriend in high school gave me.

Oh, how can you bear to part with it?

Doesn't it do something to you?

Yeah... Turns my wrist green.

Well, I guess that's all for me.

I better go check on gilligan.

The professor asked me to.

Ooh! Ooh, look, mary ann.

What?

A framed picture of my favorite movie star.

Really? Who is it?

Me.

I'm adorable.

Gilligan, what were you able to find for the professor?

Oh, my collection of yogi bear bottle tops see?

And my chromium yo-yo

And the wheels off my skateboard.

Oh, and that's all?

Yup, that's it.

No more metal?

Positive. I swear it upon my solid-steel

-Leaf clover lucky charm.

See?

All right, gilligan, hand it over.

Never.

Gilligan, the professor said that any metal

That wasn't absolutely necessary had to be turned in.

Oh, this is absolutely necessary.

For what?

For luck. If we didn't have it,

We'd be in terrible trouble,

'Cause it's the only thing that saves us from it.

From what?

Oh, for instance, from frostbite, for instance.

Gilligan, we're living in the tropics.

There has never been a case of frostbite.

See how good it works?

For the last time, hand it over.

You'll have to fight me for it.

Oh...

Gilligan... Look into my eyes.

Now what do you see?

Oh, all I can see is a little black thing

In the middle of a little green thing

In the middle of a white thing.

Gilligan, don't you realize that the eyes

Are the mirror of the soul?

Hey, you're right.

I can see myself.

And can you see yourself giving me the metal good luck charm?

Nope.

Gilligan, can't you see yourself making

The supreme sacrifice for your friends?

All I can see is you tryin' to talk me out of my good luck charm,

Which you will never do.

Never?

Never.

Never?

Absolutely, positively, cross my heart,

Hope to turn into a donkey if you do.

Oh. Well, isn't there anything I could say

That could make you change your mind?

Nope.

Not even if I hug you... Like this?

Even if it tickled me.

You sure are a hard man to convince, gilligan.

You bet I am.

Oh, well...

I guess I just don't have what it takes.

You also don't have what you took, either.

Oh, gilligan, you're impossible.

I'm afraid there isn't enough metal here for an anchor.

Well, I don't know where we're gonna find any more, professor.

Well, if I could convert this money into gold and sort of melt it down...

I know where there's an iron mine.

Shh!

Gilligan, these islands are formed

Of coral and volcanic lava.

There are no iron mines on any of them.

There's one here on this island.

Ooh.

All right, gilligan. We'll take a look

At your iron mine just to shut you up.

Tattletale. It was to be our secret.

Ok, mr. Howell, ok. I'll just give my half to them.

His half to them?

Well, I had first choice on halvsies!

That's not fair!

Now, what is this, gilligan,

An underwater iron mine?

No, I managed to get it ashore.

Well, gilligan, we can't waste all day.

Where is this mine?

Over there by that rock, see?

[Ticking]

Gilligan, you cheated me.

That's no mine. It's an overgrown pincushion.

Well, it's a world w*r ii mine.

I told ya. I told ya.

Oh, it's been a long time since I've seen one of those babies.

Why, I remember... Shh. It's ticking.

Ticking? Well, that means it's act...

It's activated! Let's get outta here! It's liable to blow up!

Yeah, let's! Over here!

Over here!

No, no! Follow me!

[Spitting out dirt]

Wait a minute! It's no use.

It won't help us to run.

But it won't hurt us any.

A moving target is harder to hit.

Run! Run! Hide! Hide! Run, hide! Run, hide!

Come on, skipper, we've gotta get gilligan and mr. Howell.

Run, hide! Everybody, run and hide!

A mine's about to explode!

Hide! Hide! Hide!

Mr. Howell! Gilligan!

Gilligan!

Mary ann, ginger, have you seen gilligan?

Yes, he just went out our back door.

Your back... You don't have a back door.

We do now.

Run and hide! Run and hide! Run and hide!

Gilligan, will you stand still a minute and listen?

Not me. I'm runnin'.

He's right, professor. We've gotta get out of here!

You've all got to listen to me.

Now, where are the howells?

Has it det... Has it gone off yet?

Not yet, mr. Howell.

Well, maybe it'll wind down and stop ticking.

I'm afraid not, mrs. Howell.

It's timing mechanism has been activated.

It could go off in a minute, an hour, hours. Who knows?

Darling, you know how mechanical things confuse me.

You'd better explain it.

Well, it's really quite simple.

First there's a kaboom!

And after that, harp music.

These islands are composed of coral and lava ash.

And undoubtedly, there are subterranean caves which are filled with gas.

Oh, I get it. If that mine blows up

With pounds of expl*sives, powee!

Powee?

Right. It would cause such a chain reaction,

That the entire island would be demolished.

So you see, if it goes off,

It doesn't make any difference where you are.

Powee.

Now, look, we just can't stand around here talking.

That mine isn't gonna go away.

Yeah, I landed it real good.

We'll see you get a medal.

Posthumously, of course.

Fortunately, I know a little something about mines,

So I'll try to deactivate it.

Let's go.

Can I go, too? It's my mine. I caught it.

Yeah, thanks a lot, gilligan.

You can go, too, mr. Howell. We're partners.

I was your partner.

That corporation is dissolved,

And I hope that we don't follow suit.

You know, I might suggest... I think the women should go

To the other side of the island.

Now, it might not do any good,

But there is a chance.

Well, did you say women and children first?

Well, I'm a boy at heart.

Just a minute, mr. Howell.

We're gonna need everybody we can get.

Now, come on. Let's go.

Why am I so indispensable?

[Ticking]

There it is!

Shh! Quiet.

[Ticking]

Listen. It's still ticking.

We'll have to work fast, skipper.

You'd better let me inspect the mine.

But first, as a precaution,

I'll demagnetize myself.

No, no, don't do that.

He just said he was going to demagnetize himself.

I know. It sounds awful.

Well, gilligan, maybe the mine is magnetized.

As a result, you know, a magnet.

It attracts itself to metal and steel objects.

What a dumb thing for it to do.

Gilligan, it was made that way on purpose.

That's right. Most of them exploded on contact.

However, some, like this one,

Are equipped with a delayed timing device

To allow the ship to travel into port before exploding,

Thus damaging or sinking more ships.

Wish me luck.

Yeah. Good luck, professor.

Be careful. Hope you're insured...

And the policy covers demagnetization.

Watch yourself, now.

Double indemnity.

[Ticking]

Skipper: how about it, professor? Do you think you can disarm it?

I can't find the fitting that covers the timing and magnetic device.

Must be underneath the mine.

Here, I'll come help you.

Gilligan, don't go near the mine with metal!

Gilligan! Come back, my boy!

No, gilligan, stay back!

Mr. Howell: remember, kaboom!

Skipper: gilligan!

Mr. Howell!

Whoo!

Mr. Howell: gilligan!

Will you... Help... Me?!

You got us into this. Have you got any suggestions?

Help!

Aaahh! Ohhhh!

Unhh! Ohh!

Uhhh!

Unhh!

Mr. Howell, I'm afraid to open my eyes.

Are we still alive?

We'd better be.

There's someone I want to cut out of my will.

Who?

You!

Gilligan, get away from that mine!

And that's an order!

I can't. It won't let go of me.

The metal they're wearing has them glued to it.

Mr. Howell... Try forcing yourself loose,

But gently. Gently.

I can't.

It's starting to tick faster. Listen.

Plimp-plum. Plimp-plum. Plimp-plum.

That's my heart.

Gilligan's good luck charm is made out of steel.

Mr. Howell's watch and identification bracelet

Are probably made out of steel, too.

I beg your pardon.

They're a gift from my board of directors.

They couldn't be anything less than gold or platinum.

Well, I'm sorry, mr. Howell, but that watch and identification bracelet

Are just gold-plated.

Remind me to drop their options

And change the lock on the executive washroom.

We've gotta work fast. That mine could go off any second now.

The radio!

The radio?

That's how we'll free them... By shortwave.

Shortwave?

We... It'll take a tidal wave.

Professor: we've gotta work fast, skipper.

We'll neutralize the magnetic field

By crossing the mine's electromagnetic waves

With ultrahigh-frequency waves. Right?

Right, professor.

I'll get the radio.

Gilligan: hurry back, professor.

Yeah. If we're gonna have a blast,

I'd like the kind where you live a little.

[Radio playing rock and roll]

Hey, that's rock and roll, professor.

Maybe it'll shake us loose, huh?

If you don't mind, gilligan,

I'd rather not be the high note on the next chorus.

Gilligan, mr. Howell, try to pull free.

[Radio announcer talking]

We'll just have to keep at it till we get the right frequency.

Better hurry it up, professor.

[Tuning through stations]

Gilligan, now! Now, mr. Howell!

My costume jewelry.

Professor!

[Announcer talking on radio, indistinct]

Don't worry, little buddy! We'll get you loose!

[Announcer talking, music playing]

Uhh... Uhh... Ahhhh!

Uhhh!

We made it, mr. Howell. Are you ok?

Well, either I'm dead, or my watch has stopped.

Gilligan, will you come on?

Now, listen, gilligan. You're the only one that's skinny enough

That can crawl under this mine

And loosen that fitting with this brass wrench. It's nonmagnetic.

But, skipper... Gilligan. Gilligan,

You must be careful, because this mine is sensitive.

It's very, very sensitive.

Say, isn't it against the law

To tinker with navy property?

If they complain, I'll buy them a new battleship.

Gilligan, will you stop that? Now, work fast.

We've gotta work on this and loosen that fitting

Before it... Stops ticking.

Don't worry, skipper. If it stops ticking, we can rewind it.

Get under there, gilligan!

Now?

Now!

Hey, I found the fitting.

[Clang clang clang clang]

Gilligan!

Don't hammer! Turn it!

Use your head. Use your head.

Use my head?

Unhhhh... It's rolling back!

Hang on, men! Hang on!

You're stronger than the professor.

Let me get over there, professor.

[Stammering]

[Stammering]

Watch out! [Stammering] ohhh!

Unnhhh!

Heavens! A mine disaster.

The boy is trapped alive!

My poor little buddy!

Dumb old mine. I'm gonna give it a good, swift kick!

No!

[Thud] ooohhh!

My shin!

Well, professor?

It's no use. There's no way

I can make a lubricant to dissolve all that rust.

There's just no way to deactivate that mine.

I have a suggestion. Why don't we make a giant slingshot?

Then we can hurl the mine miles away.

Gilligan, you've made that suggestion for the last time.

Now, get outta here.

But I have rubber bands... Out!

All you gotta do is... Out, gilligan, out.

He's just tryin' to help, skipper.

Oh, I know, professor, but we haven't got time for such nonsense.

That mine may blow up any minute.

Well, there's only one thing left to do,

And that's to use the raft to tow the mine out to sea,

Far enough out where an expl*si*n won't cause any damage.

But, professor, it's so tricky.

I mean, it's apt to blow up any minute.

Kapowee! Aaah! G...

Gilligan, would you get outta here?!

Well, it's dangerous, but it has to be done,

And it has to be done now.

All right. Let's eliminate mr. Howell.

He's a married man.

And gilligan. I don't want my little buddy

Doing anything so dangerous.

It's up to me.

No. Professor, you're too smart.

They need your brain.

No, no, no, skipper. You're the leader. I'm expendable.

There's only one way to do this.

Quick and fairly, we'll cut the cards.

All right.

High card does the job. Right.

What a strange time to be playing gin rummy.

We're not playing gin rummy, howell.

Well, whatever it is, count me in.

We're cutting the cards to see who tows the mine out into the ocean.

Well, like I said, count me out.

Go ahead, professor.

Of clubs.

Of hearts. Great. I won.

Well, that all depends on the way you look at it.

Now, remember, skipper, first you've got to remove the metal rudder

So it won't attract the mine.

I believe gilligan is already on his way to do that.

Gilligan? Yes. I saw him run to the lagoon.

Skipper, he must've overheard us.

He was all by himself muttering something about it being his fault.

Oh, professor, we gotta stop my little buddy!

Gilligan! Gilligan!

Gilligan!

Ace of spades. The death card!

Gilligan! The ramp!

Professor, the ramp is gone!

There he is! He's towin' the mine!

Gilligan!

Gilligan!

Come back!

Come back, gilligan!

I did it! I saved us, skipper! No more mine!

There's a metal rudder on the raft!

It'll attract the mine like a magnet!

Skipper!

Holy smokes! He must be doing knots!

Gilligan! Cut the line!

Cut the line!

Cut the line, gilligan!

And my little buddy risked his own life to save us.

How about a rousing cheer for our gilligan? Hip hip...

Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Hip hip... Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

Hip hip... Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

My boy, I'm going to give you a really big tip.

Oh, thanks, mr. Howell.

Consolidated national acme.

Buy!

And now, gilligan,

With the mine safely towed out to sea,

Why don't you catch something really big for dinner?

You bet, skipper. I'll go get the big...

Look.

The mine!

Uhhh!

The mine!

[Screaming and confused chattering]

Hey, skipper. I finally caught somethin' big for dinner.

♪ Now this is the tale of our castaways ♪

♪ They're here for a long, long time ♪

♪ They'll have to make the best of things ♪

♪ It's an uphill climb ♪

♪ The first mate and his skipper, too ♪

♪ Will do their very best ♪

♪ To make the others comfortable ♪

♪ In the tropic island nest ♪

No phone... No lights...

♪ No motorcars, not a single luxury ♪

♪ Like robinson crusoe ♪

♪ It's primitive as can be ♪

♪ So join us here each week, my friends ♪

♪ You're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ From stranded castaways ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪