05x09 - England

[bunniefuu]

[SEABIRDS CHIRPING]

SAM: In spite of strife, I live my life

and do right by sitting tight.

♪ I want to ride the wave,
but you already know ♪

♪ I made a bet with the devil... ♪

No, you didn't look at the...

SAM: No, get Nan.

- All right.
- [LAUGHTER]

♪ 'Cause I get so f*cking bored... ♪

MAX: Hey, Frankie.

♪ And I wonder when
they're coming home ♪

♪ I hope they're never coming home ♪

[SHOUTS]

[LAUGHTER]

♪ Because I'm b*ating
on my drumkit ♪

♪ Hoping that you like it ♪

DUKE: Look at the camera.

♪ And we can rise above... ♪

[LAUGHTER]

SAM: Frankie.

Go next to Nan.

♪ Ugly little sunflower ♪

♪ Wilting every hour ♪

- PHYLLIS: Mrs. Conover lived there.
- DUKE: Who was she, Nan?

Eileen Conover was what
we called in those days

"a theatrical."

Like, a theater person?

Roughly speaking, yes.
Like your grandfather.

- And your mother.
- [DUKE LAUGHS]

And you.

A creative odd one who
indulges in themselves.

Ha. That's me all over.

[LAUGHS]

[CHUCKLES]

- Mom. Phil.
- What? What?

SAM: I remember your
stories about Mrs. Conover.

I never spoke to you
about Eileen Conover.

[CHUCKLES]: Yes, you did.

You said that she ran a theater company

and that you and your
friends as kids would go over

to her house and look
at her erotic artwork.

[LAUGHS]: What are you talking about?

You... Can anyone back me up on this?

Excuse me, why don't you
let me guide this tour?

And allow me to be the
last word on what did

or did not happen in the s.

Because as far as I can remember,

- you weren't even born.
- Mm-hmm.

- PHYLLIS: Frankie.
- GABRIELLA: My God,

your gran, she's legendary.

Everyone in the family talks about her.

Her koyach, the way her stubbornness

drives people off a cliff.

- I'm obsessed.
- [CHUCKLES]

I mean, the stories I could tell you.

You don't even know the half of it.

Oh, well, you know,
she was my inspiration

when I moved to London
all by myself years ago.

You didn't know anyone
when you came to London?

GABRIELLA: I mean, I started exploring.

I pushed myself.

I made friends with some
serious artists. Just like you.

Oh, no, I don't...

I don't know if I'm that serious.

Uh, come on, cousin. I follow you.

Your photos are artful and gorgeous.

And they make you feel things.

I've shown them to my friends,

and I really want to introduce you.

There's Fayza. She's
an activist and poet.

And there's Tirunesh, who's
an environmental biologist

- from Somalia.
- Wow.

And Jules, my flatmate,

who's doing this, like,
bedroom pop project right now.

Wow.

You're all like a bunch
of little Jason Bournes.

[LAUGHS]

Yeah, well, Jules is
moving to Australia, though.

- Oh.
- I'll have to find a sublease for her.

- Yeah, that sucks.
- Mm, not really.

I mean, she never flushes her shits.

And she keeps me up at
night with her music.

Flatmate rule: never
live with a musician.

Try living with an actor.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

CAROLINE: Can you just walk next to me?

Why are you walking ahead of me?

- My heart rate is through the roof.
- Ugh.

Would you stop checking?
You're making it worse.

I don't understand why we came here.

I have such shpilkes.
This is ridiculous.

Because...

Because I wanted to
put my mother's ashes

to rest here in London.

You encouraged me.

And then you invited your entire family

and offered to pay
for it, which is fine,

but it changed the
complexion of the entire trip.

[EXHALES]

So could you please just relax

and get through it?

And encourage your
mother to move it along.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

Come here. Come on.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I couldn't control myself.

- [SIGHS] I love you.
- And I love you.

[SNIFFLES] Yeah.

- It's good. It's good.
- Okay.

- Stop checking your heart rate.
- Hey.

I got to take a sh*t.

- Oh, God.
- Yeah.

Okay, well, let's go back to the pub.

No. Are you insane?

My preference is to go
back home to L.A. and sh*t.

- We're not flying home.
- Shy of that,

it'll be back at the hotel.

"Go to the pub."

- Okay, fine.
- Come on.

Let's just... Wait,
I don't have to poop.

- Just come on.
- Stop.

PHYLLIS: My father, his name was Leland.

To be perfectly honest,
I didn't even know him.

We never spoke as children.

I had one memory with him,
which I've told to Frankie.

I only spoke to him twice.

- Well, you're exaggerating, right, Nan?
- No.

No, you-you must have
spoken to him more than that.

You lived in the same house as him.

What makes you think
living in a house with a man

requires you to speak to him?

[LAUGHS]: Oh, my God.

Yeah, good thing he
wasn't your dad, though.

Don't be rude.

You sent some spit
off to a lab in Arizona

and suddenly fancy yourself
as a private investigator.

Let me be clear: Leland
Darby was my father.

And your grandfather and
these girls' great-grandfather.

Even if he was a horrible man.

And your Uncle Lester would
have told you the same.

I miss my brother.

I need to speak to my brother.

Copy that.

Leland Darby was my granddad.

- Phil?
- Mm?

- What?
- Phil. You all right?

Um, well...

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

♪ Have you heard ♪

- _
- ♪ There's a new Casanova? ♪

♪ He's a wiz when it comes to romance ♪

♪ And he is such a true Casanova... ♪

PHIL: He had buck teeth

back then. That's why we
called him Benny the Beaver.

BEN: Ah, yes. Fond memories.

We called you... What was it?

I haven't the faintest.

Phyllis the Clitoris.

[STIFLED LAUGHTER]

And your brother Lester the Molester.

Oh, no, that's not...

So, Ben, can you tell us
more about my mom as a girl?

She doesn't give us much
other than w*r rations

and b*mb shelter stories.

Careful, Benny. Your
words will be twisted.

BEN: I first got to
know Phyllis in my years

at Birkenhead Elementary.

She was very mouthy.

Defiant.

But also, very pretty.

- Aye.
- Aye!

[LAUGHS]

Did you ever get married, Ben?

Who ended up hooking you?

Phyllis, you remember Eileen
Churbishley off Exmouth?

She was a few years younger.

Yes, she walked with a limp.

- One leg shorter than the other.
- No.

Actually, that was childhood
polio that did that.

We were married for years.

Eileen d*ed in ' .

This was hers, actually.

- Oh.
- PHYLLIS: Oh.

I'm sorry.

But we love this pub,
Ben. Here's to Eileen.

ALL: Aye!

Most tourists do. We
sell nostalgia here.

Like the monarchy.
Pining for a time passed.

Now, Phyllis's mother Shirley-Jane,

she was a vocal critic

- of the monarchy.
- CAROLINE: Wow.

- And she was British?
- PHYLLIS: Not British.

English. And we were
always anti-monarchists.

I love the monarchy.

Windsor Castle. Frogmore Cottage.

- Buckingham Palace.
- I never liked those hotels,

and always thought those people
that live there should not.

I used to get so angry

because Elizabeth and
her sister Margaret,

they used to get these
presents at Christmas,

and it was publicized everywhere.

Now, why would they do that?

Did it upset you because your
family didn't have all that?

Excuse me.

Where is my son?

Why isn't Marion here?

- He's indisposed.
- Indisposed?

What does that mean?

CAROLINE: It means

he had to stay at the hotel.

But why?

CAROLINE: Because he's busy.

PHYLLIS: What are you talking about?

Why are you being so vague?

Traveling does not
agree with his stomach.

[LAUGHS]

He's got the squirts. Oh!

That is so Marion.

Don't be vulgar, Sam.

- I'm sorry.
- And, Caroline,

my distaste for the monarchy

had nothing to do with growing up poor.

It was wrong.

I just thought it was wrong.

All these bunch of boring bastards

being supported by English taxpayers.

All so white and Anglo-Saxon.

The French had it right with the royals.

Off with their heads.

SAM, PHYLLIS and BEN: Aye!

[SOFT LAUGHTER]

[QUIET CHATTER]

I'll give you quid
if you chug Max's beer.

Are you serious?

When I was your age, I used to
drink my dad under the table.

What are we gonna tell
her when she gets back?

Oh, come on. You're in London.

Yeah, all right, I was only joking.

You don't have to drink all of it.

Stop!

- [LAUGHTER]
- What the f*ck are you doing?

I'll get you another one.

You just drank, like, all of my beer.

I thought the drinking
age here was, like, .

Uh, no, love, it's .

You're thinking about
the age of consent.

Okay, that was another joke.

- [MAX LAUGHS]
- Don't tell Mom.

MAX: Duh.

[LAUGHTER]

She's a little bit burpy.

BEN: On Ainsworth Avenue,
we were all terrified

of Phyllis's mom.

She was tough. Extremely direct.

Oh, you had to be back then.

Especially with that man.

Well, I'd rather not talk about him.

SAM: Yeah, Ben, we recently learned

some dubious DNA information

about our dearly
departed, uh, grandfather.

That he wasn't really Phyllis's dad?

- We all knew that.
- [LAUGHS]: You see?

I told you everyone knew.

There goes your big secret.

Do you feel silly now?

We talked about it behind closed doors.

Like that bloke Ronan
Farrow and Frank Sinatra.

Leland Darby looked nothing like Phil.

Not to mention it,
but we also knew about

Shirley-Jane Darby's... How do I put it?

[WHISPERS]: dalliances.

[EXHALES SHARPLY] Aye.

No.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[WHISPERS]: Did he just
slut-shame our great-grandmother?

[WHISPERS]: Yes, he did.
Did you enjoy your beer?

- Breath.
- [HICCUPS]

BEN: Anyway,

what does it matter?

These people are all dead.

As we will be, too, shortly.

Do you blame your mum?

All those years married to that man?

[SIGHS]

Truth is,

Shirley-Jane Darby was
a woman before her time.

Yes. Quite.

She worked.

And she was a poet.

And an artist of great renown.

She started painting when she was .

She practiced astrology and
yoga in the s in England.

She was a pioneer, my mum.

Gone but not forgotten.

If one person remembers you,

you stay alive forever.

To Shirley-Jane Darby.

ALL: To Shirley-Jane Darby!

You've had enough.

_

SAM: Exquisite agony,

of body and mind.

The heritage of mankind.

Birth is but the gateway to death.

Whoa.

♪ The first time I realized... ♪

SAM: Be careful.

They drive crazy.

Look both way...

That's not funny, Ben.

No, you're right.

♪ And forgive me,
but I don't know... ♪

Hey.

We had a tiny thing happen.

What? What?

Chewy's in a cone. Don't...

- Oh, no.
- Don't...

♪ Or sun ♪

♪ I don't recall ♪

♪ I was young... ♪

CHAYA: I saw something

on Chewy's stomach.

It was, like, a piece of schmutz.

- No. No, no, no, no, no. Oh.
- So then we bought...

- Now he keeps licking at it.
- Right, he...

- There's a lot of licking...
- Show-show...

- Show her the cone.
- ... going on in this house.

TRESSA: He's right here. He's fine.

"Hi, Mama. Don't worry."

[GROANS]

[GRUNTS]

♪ First time that I saw your face... ♪

- Oh. Hi.
- [LAUGHS]

Are those, like, the ones that, like,

fizz in your mouth, like...

Okay, and then how much
are the ones with the...

What is rhubarb?

Uh, it's a plant.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Okay, well, that's crazy.

- We're in London.
- Yeah.

Very nice, and... Okay.

See you, Mark. Yeah.

No, no, no. Nobody. She's nobody.

[SAM LAUGHS]

SAM: This is so...

These are so naughty.

[BRITISH ACCENT]: They're so naughty.

[REGULAR ACCENT]: You guys have
Benny Hill. We didn't have that.

[LAUGHS] I would hide them
from Nan. They're so dirty.

This store is the best.

Look, these are dirty postcards.

- These are, like, from my childhood.
- Wait.

Yeah, really bad. What
candy are you getting?

[LAUGHTER]

You know, I had a back-alley
abortion in the s.

Um...

It was done at a friend
of your grandfather's home.

He was a doctor. On the
dining room table, like this.

Why are you telling me this, Nan?

Because I love you, darling. That's why.

♪ The next thing I knew, the stars ♪

♪ Were eyes up in the night ♪

♪ And the ocean breathing
heavy like a beast ♪

♪ I held you, but I don't know ♪

♪ If I was strong enough to say ♪

♪ How the way it felt... ♪

SAM: Oh, look at... Wow.

♪ May have been clouds or sun ♪

Isn't that incredible?

♪ I don't recall ♪

♪ I was young ♪

♪ May have been clouds ♪

♪ Or sun ♪

♪ I don't recall ♪

♪ I was young ♪

♪ May have been clouds ♪

♪ Or sun ♪

♪ I don't recall, I was young... ♪

PHYLLIS: Yoo-hoo! There you are.

Look what I've just found.

- Oh.
- Isn't it just beautiful?

It's a music box.

It's quite Jewish. Look.

- FRANKIE: I love the artwork.
- It is quite Jewish.

I'm going to buy it for you.

- What? For me?
- Yes.

No, no, no, no. That...

It's going to be a new family tradition.

We'll bring it out
every year and play it.

Wait, what? Are you kidding me?

I can't even get people
to sit down for dinner.

Now you're foisting a whole
family tradition on us?

No, Phil. It's not happening.

No. No. No. No.

- MAX: Mom. Hi.
- Hi.

Do you mind if I go hang with some

of Gabbie's friends?
Just for a little bit?

No, no. Cute.

- Have fun.
- Okay.

We'll meet back at the hotel, okay?

- Yeah, okay.
- Okay.

You okay, Mom?

What?

Yeah. Totally.

Okay.

- All right. I love you.
- Okay.

- MAX: I'll see you later.
- SAM: Love you.

[BRITISH ACCENT]: Portobello Road.

[CHUCKLES]

Ta-ra.

Bye.

- MAX: She said yes.
- Oh, yay!

Cheerio.

I just bought it for you.

- No, no, no.
- I had to.

- No, I don't want a tradition. No.
- PHYLLIS: I just... N...

- I've already bought it.
- No. How am I supposed

to take that on the plane?

- No, please.
- I told you I didn't want it.

It's got the most beautiful
music that goes with it.

- I don't want the big thing.
- Why not? You would love it.

- No, 'cause you're making me take it.
- It doesn't weigh very much.

- I promise you. Because I...
- No. I'm going in the hat store.

Well...

I'm going to have it anyway.
I am going to have it.

[EXHALES]

Yes.

[CHUCKLES]: Sorry.

Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi. Good evening.

- No g*ng tonight?
- No,

and that is quite all right by me

because I am sick of them.

[CHUCKLES] You'd be surprised
how often I hear that.

- [SAM CHUCKLES]
- What can I get you?

Um, a Pimm's Cup, please.

- BARTENDER: Mm-hmm.
- SAM: Mm.

PHYLLIS: Oh! Hello.

That's where you are. Good, good, good.

With a sh*t of Jameson's.

[SAM EXHALES]

- Hit my knee.
- PHYLLIS: Mm.

Don't help.

Thank you.

Oh, I'll have the same.

[CHAIR SQUEAKS]

Oh.

Did you just fart,
or was that the chair?

[SLURPING THROUGH STRAW]

SAM: So, you and, uh, Benny.

[CLEARS THROAT] What's the story there?

What do you mean?

Well, you know,

he's been spending
a lot of time with you.

Us.

I don't know what you're getting at.

He's an old friend from my youth.

Someone with a bit of shared history.

Yeah, but I'm just saying,

do you guys, you know...

- Oh, dear God. Don't be vulgar, Sam.
- [BABBLING]

[CHUCKLES]

No. No.

[CHUCKLES]

- Come on.
- What?

I mean, he takes the train
from Liverpool to see you,

just to be with you.

He's not a young dude. I'm just saying.

Well, a man never runs
after a stopped bus,

my mother used to say.

[CHUCKLES]: And anyway, this
is not what you think it is.

It's about companionship.

- [SAM IMITATING CREAKING]
- No.

[PHYLLIS LAUGHS]

You are awful.

Stop it.

[LAUGHS]

- [SAM WHISTLING]
- No.

SAM: Mm-hmm.

- No.
- [GROANS]

Uh, I think we should
have another two or three.

You like some more?

- Yeah.
- Course.

- You have any water?
- BARTENDER: Flat or sparkling?

We like the free kind,

- the tap.
- BARTENDER: Sure.

[PHYLLIS LAUGHING]

[SAM LAUGHS]

- That's my mom.
- Yes.

- [CHUCKLES]
- She's my darling daughter.

- SAM: Mm.
- Well, sometimes.

- [SMACKS LIPS] Quite dry.
- Yes.

- Parched. Mm.
- We've had quite a few, haven't we?

Um, I-I'll have some water, too.

- Yep.
- But I'll have the sparkling.

Just five seconds. Close my eyes.

Oh.

I am so hungry. I
should've eaten that...

[BRITISH ACCENT]: Scotch
egg at the market today.

My head is spinning.

- I'll get you some crackers.
- Oof.

- Phil.
- Mm?

Mom, let's take a picture.

We hardly have any good
pictures on this trip together.

- Come here.
- Absolutely not.

- My hair.
- Come here.

Don't grab me. I'm not the cat's litter.

One sec. I love these stairs.

Just one.

- Cool. Just stand still.
- I've told you many times,

- I don't like a hand on my shoulder.
- I want one cool selfie!

- [GRUNTING, GROANING]
- PHYLLIS: Sam?!

Sam?

- Oh.
- Jesus.

Ooh!

[SAM GROANS]

[LAUGHING]

[GROANING]

[EXHALES]

And the flowers.

- Ow! [GRUNTS]
- PHYLLIS: Oh, dear. Oh, dear.

- [GROANS, EXHALES]
- [PHYLLIS LAUGHING]

[CHUCKLES]

[SAM INHALES SHARPLY, GRUNTS]

Okay. Let's just take it down a notch.

All right.

What, am I a clown to you?

PHYLLIS: Oh, dear.

I wish I had a hot-water bottle

- for your back.
- Okay. Okay.

- [PHYLLIS SHUSHING]
- Oof.

- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
- Okay.

[PHYLLIS GRUNTING]

- PHYLLIS: Go on, get undressed. No.
- [GROANS]

- I want to get your shirt off.
- No.

- Shh. Shh.
- No. [GRUNTS]

Can I get this off, as well?

- [GRUNTS]
- SAM: No.

- I just want to get you into the bed.
- [SAM GRUNTS]

- [PHYLLIS GRUNTS]
- Get off.

- Why is it so freezing cold in here?
- [SAM GROANS]

I think I better get in bed with you

- to warm you up. Yeah. Yeah.
- No. No. No. No.

- No. No.
- There we are.

- No.
- All those bedtimes

with you as a baby,
you were so difficult.

You were so colicky.

It never made sense why you
were such an incessant crier.

- Ow!
- What?

- Don't.
- Maybe...

Maybe it was because I refused
to take those thalidomides

that they were handing out like candy

to combat morning sickness.

- [EXHALES]
- Thank you.

I have arms because of you.

I just didn't trust those doctors.

[SIGHS] I just had
to get on with things.

That was my lot.

I had a runty little child

that made me nauseous and cried a lot.

- Don't.
- [EXHALES]

Oh, you were so difficult.

[PHYLLIS SIGHS]

You're difficult.

- [PHYLLIS CHUCKLES]
- [SAM SNORING]

[PHYLLIS SIGHS]

[PHYLLIS CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Oh. [COUGHS, EXHALES]

[WINDOWS OPENING]

[PHYLLIS CLAPS, RUBS HANDS TOGETHER]

SAM: Oh.

- PHYLLIS: Hmm?
- SAM: Phil.

- Hmm?
- Phil, what did you do to me?

I feel like you roofied me last night,

like you-you violated
me and crossed a line.

- What did you do?
- PHYLLIS: Oh, stop being so dramatic.

Let's go.

Sit up. Wake up. Snap to.

It's a beautiful day out.
One last bit of shopping.

What? No. No.

We can't.

We told Caroline

we were gonna put her
mom's ashes in Battersea.

Mm, change of plans.

Nobody wants to go through a memorial

for someone we never
knew. That's ridiculous.

What?

No. We promised her.

We can't go back on this.

Mom, honestly, like,
Uncle Marion and Caroline,

- they can do that themselves.
- SAM: What?

Uh, no. That's rude.

PHYLLIS: Also...

Ooh! [CHUCKLES]

We have something to tell you.

"We"? What?

What? Wait. What?

What? Yes?

[SMACKS LIPS]

I won't be returning
with you to America.

[LAUGHING]

- [BACK CRACKS]
- Oh!

Ow! [GROANS]

Okay. Okay.

You're... No. That's...

You're crazy. Right?

And Max has something to say, too.

Um... Okay.

I want to stay here, Mom.

And it's not a joke, so-so don't laugh

or make fun of the idea, okay?

Gabbie has a room available in her flat,

and I want to do it.

Mom, I... I just, I...

I have to make a change,

and I'm-I'm excited
to make this change.

I...

I really don't want
to go back right now.

This feels bashert.

It's good, Mom.

Yay!

Wait.

Really? What is...

What is happening? No.

No. We came here together as a family.

This is a... This is a family trip.

You don't do half a trip. It's a circle.

It's a nice circle.

There and back.

You have to complete the circle.

Mom, there's no f*cking circle.

That-that doesn't exist.

That's just in your head.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

- [GROANS]
- CAROLINE: Good morning!

MARION: Hello, hello, hello, hello!

- CAROLINE: Good morning.
- MARION: Tallyho.

- PHYLLIS: Come in.
- MARION: Yes. Thank you so much.

Shock. Sam's not ready.

Not even close.

Okay. [SIGHS]

Just... [SIGHS]

Give me one minute, okay?

I have a... Give me a minute.

That minute is gone now. Let's go.

- Let's go.
- [SAM GROANS]

MARION: Proud of you. Look,
she's got shoes on. She...

- Uh-oh.
- Come here.

- What's happening?
- Congratulations

for liftoff of your throne.

I got you psyllium husk for binding.

Ha. Great. Thank you. That's hilarious.

Max, Phil, let's go downstairs, please,

while Sam gets ready. Thank you.

Okay, but take the husk. You need it.

Thank you. Because I'm
just hanging on by a thread.

- Very thin.
- I know how your stomach is.

Breath.

- [EXHALES]
- Yeah.

There's been a change of plans.

No, no, no, no, no.
No change of plans. No.

Caroline asked way in
advance. We've all agreed.

We're doing this now. Let's go.

Your sister's not feeling very well,

so we've decided to stay with her.

Not feel...? She's hungover.

And I don't believe for a second

you're gonna stay with her in the hotel.

The moment we leave, you're gone.

SAM: It's okay. I-I can do this.

I can go to Battersea.

Yeah. Just give me...

It's fine, Marion.

Phil is right.

We can do this on our own.

SAM: Uh...

Caroline. [GROANS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[MARION SIGHS]

I'm gonna need a glass
of water and a spoon.

SAM: Caroline. Please, stop.

Stop. Look, I had nothing to do with it.

Phil ambushed me.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Of course we can go to Battersea.

We can? We have your permission?

Oh, thank you so much,
Sam. I am so grateful.

What would we do without you?

I appreciate you giving
us your permission.

Thank you, Sam, our boss.

Wow.

I...

Okay.

Great.

Marion, I forgot my key.

Mar. Phil. Max.

["WHEN THEY FIGHT, THEY FIGHT"
BY GENERATIONALS PLAYING]

[SIGHS]

[COUGHS]

What do you got in your hand?

I'm saving a little
bit of her for myself.

♪ And when they come
home at night, they sing ♪

♪ I love you, baby ♪

[LAUGHING]

♪ Was it too much too soon? ♪

♪ Or too little too late? ♪

♪ And then the words, they come to you ♪

♪ Driving away ♪

♪ You just can't let it go ♪

♪ And when they fight, they fight ♪

♪ And when they come
home at night, they say ♪

♪ I love you, baby ♪

[DIALOGUE INAUDIBLE]

♪ I love you, baby. ♪

[TRICKLING]

[FLUSHES]

[SEAGULLS CAWING]

["HEAD OF ROSES" BY
FLOCK OF DIMES PLAYING]

♪ I have never ♪

♪ Known to travel ♪

♪ By the compass ♪

♪ The names of stars ♪

Lester. What...?

♪ I have never ♪

♪ Meant to travel ♪

♪ Far from places ♪

♪ Where you are ♪

[LAUGHING]

♪ Fear of the world ♪

[PHYLLIS LAUGHS]

♪ Head of roses ♪

[PLAYFUL CHATTER]

♪ Sorry for yours ♪

♪ And for mine ♪

♪ Free of the world ♪

♪ Head of roses ♪

♪ Leave me to learn ♪

♪ Love is time ♪

♪ Leave me to learn ♪

♪ Love is time ♪

♪ Fear of the world ♪

♪ Head of roses ♪

♪ You'll never see ♪

♪ Love is time. ♪

[DIALOGUE INAUDIBLE]

Oh, your... is your mom
good at cutting your hair?

- Yeah, yeah, she's really good.
- Oh.

- Is yours not?
- Well, she tried to cut my hair once,

- and she gave me bangs.
- Max. Honey.

- What?
- Can I have a word?

- For the, um... f-for some...
- MAX: Yeah.

Or-or roses.

But then, if I had a vegetable garden...

I'm just thinking that
maybe, 'cause I love flowers,

but I'm thinking I
could grow vegetables.

I just want to bring you over here

to talk to you.

[EXHALES]

Hi.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Uh, yeah. Uh, do you know what happens

to most -year-olds?

Hmm?

- Yes.
- And don't just nod.

No, seriously. Do you?

Okay, they can be really cantankerous

and they get really cranky.

And they break down and they wear out

and they get sick and
they have accidents.

Honey, it's really, really hard.

Mom, I'm not gonna be living with her.

I'll be with Cousin Gabbie,
she'll be with Ben,

and I'll be close enough to
Liverpool to keep an eye on her.

Mom, Nan didn't ask me to do this.

I want this.

And it's not forever, Mom.

I know what I'm getting myself into.

[EXHALES]

[MOANING]

- [BOOT THUDS]
- [SAM MOANS]

I want you to have my boots.

Yes. I give them to you.

Mm-hmm. They are yours.

Yes.

I know you want. Mm-hmm.

Mom.

Yes.

Yeah, but kind of...

I just need 'em now 'cause
we're still at the thing and...

Can I wear 'em for
the rest of the night?

[GRUNTING]: But I will
give them back to you

when we bid each other adieu.

Come here.

- Come here.
- [LAUGHS SOFTLY]

[GRUNTS]

[EXHALES]

This is big. This is forward movement.

This is upward forward movement.

This is, like, through
the sky forward movement.

PHYLLIS: Oh, no... I know.

But we're going to share it. But, um...

- It's a very good spread.
- I... Frankie.

- Oh, that's... I didn't order that.
- SAM: No, it's fine.

- Sir, that's not...
- It's...

PHYLLIS: What do you mean?

- No, because, yes...
- MARION: It's an elegant one.

- PHYLLIS: ' , though.
- SAM: Mm-hmm.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[GLASS THUDDING]

Oh, that's not satisfying.

I... Yeah. Hello.

Hello.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Uh, yes. Hello.

I just wanted to take a moment and say,

to the Darby-Corbyn-Fox-
Lee-Smith-Hughes family,

welcome, welcome, and thank you all

for being on this adventure with us.

This family trip.

We are so fortunate to have all of us

here together right now.

All of us together.

And...

We should eat. It's getting cold.

ALL: Aye!

[LAUGHTER]

Uh, I... Just...

Yeah, um...

One more thing. Yeah.

And, uh, Phil and Max,

I just want to say...

[EXHALES SHARPLY]

good luck with your new lives

here in England.

Mm-hmm.

They won't be returning to
the United States with us.

Yes.

That is all.

Aye!

[SAM CLEARS THROAT]

Wait, Mom, sorry, what?

SAM: It's totally fine, everyone.

Everything is totally fine.

If you have any questions,
please don't ask me.

Phil and Max will be
fielding all of them.

Again, do not come to
me with any questions.

You'll have to ask them.

None of this was my idea.

Thank you all. Um...

Good night, London. Good night, Detroit.

- Oh, yes.
- Good night, Detroit.

[LAUGHTER]

DUKE: Wait, Nan, why are...

- What, what?
- PHYLLIS: N-No, but...

Oh, darling.

Exactly, it comes...

SAM: She knows.

You know. You know, too.

- Okay. Yeah.
- Frankie. Well, don't...

- PHYLLIS: Um...
- Like, shut down.

How you doing?

Yeah, no, it's great.

Sounds... great.

PHYLLIS: I didn't
actually know that, um,

your mom was going to
tell you in this way.

SAM: Please don't be mad at me.

This wasn't my idea.

Mad? Are you kidding me?

This is incredible.

Our mother is no longer
in our jurisdiction.

She's going to be in European airspace.

Greenwich Mean Time.

We don't have to worry
about her anymore.

She doesn't live in America.

So that's it, then?

Just get her out of your hair?

No, not all. This is good for her.

This could add years to her life.

A change like this is a chosen change.

Most people get old,
you stick 'em in a home,

throw a thin blanket over their legs,

point 'em towards the sun,

they're dead in three f*cking days.

No, this is what Phil wants.

This is a masterstroke.

And all those years, you said
you wanted to put her in a home.

Yes, and I was wrong. Is
that what you want to hear?

Actually, yeah, say it
again. That's my favorite.

You know, I'm not worried about her.

Be honest, I'm much
more worried about you.

- What are you going to do?
- What do you mean?

Without your plus-one,
your significant other.

Your mom-boyfriend, Phil.

Oh.

That's kind of true.

[SIGHS]

That woman takes up a lot more
of your life than you realize.

And now with Max gone, too,

soon Frankie, then Duke... Then what?

Freedom?

Uh-huh. Okay.

Whatever you say.

Just don't come knocking
on our door every afternoon

with some chicken dish, saying...

[IMITATING PHYLLIS]:
"Yoo-hoo. Anybody hungry? Ha!"

[MIMICKING]: "Ha!"

You're a lot more like
Phyllis than you think.

[GROANS]

[PIANO PLAYING SOFT MELODY]

PHYLLIS: ♪ Now is the hour ♪

- ♪ When we must say goodbye ♪
- MARION: Wh-What?

- ♪ Soon you'll be sailing ♪
- [SOBS]

♪ Far across the sea ♪

♪ While you're away ♪

♪ Oh, please remember me ♪

♪ When you return ♪

♪ You'll find me waiting ♪

♪ Here ♪

♪ I'll dream of you ♪

♪ If you will dream of me ♪

♪ Each hour I'll miss you ♪

♪ Here across the sea ♪

♪ It's not goodbye ♪

♪ It's just a sweet adieu ♪

♪ Soon I'll come sailing ♪

♪ Across the seas ♪

♪ To you ♪

[SIGHS]

♪ While I'm away ♪

♪ Oh, please remember me ♪

♪ When you return ♪

♪ You'll find me ♪

♪ Waiting ♪

♪ Here. ♪

[APPLAUSE]

- PHYLLIS: Thank you.
- PIANO MAN: Lovely.

It's his playing.

- SAM: Phil!
- MARION: Bravo, brava!

[PHYLLIS CHUCKLING]

Flight D is now delayed.

Please, can all passengers
report to desk ?

Please don't leave your bags unattended.

Any unattended bags will be taken

and subject to a security search.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Attention, Sydney-bound passengers.

We have a completely full flight.

I would like to remind you
that all carry-on luggage

is limited to one personal
item and one carry-on item.

[OVER P.A.]: Flight D to Amsterdam

is now leaving from Gate .