05x17 - The Solid Gold Jeannie

[bunniefuu]

[♪]

I hope they had time
to get some sleep.

Leslie looked so tired
aboard the carrier.

Didn't you think
he looked tired?

Oh, do not worry,
Mrs. Wingate. Just think.

They will have three weeks
to do nothing but eat and sleep.

Oh, I'm so excited
I can hardly contain myself.

Well, try,
Mrs. Wingate. Do try.

Oh, I wish we could
allow you to give them

a more personal greeting
but, uh... Well,

you do understand the need

for the 21-day
isolation period.

And after all,
in your condition, Sally,

we're having enough trouble
with Earth germs.

[LAUGHS]

Well, they're waiting
to see you, ladies.

Alfred, darling.
Listen, I...

I think we should let them
go in by themselves.

I mean, they can't touch,

but, well, at least we could
give them some privacy.

That's a good idea, Amanda.

Uh, ladies. Uh, we're gonna
wait for you outside.

[JEANNIE,
SALLY TITTER]

Good luck.
Good luck.

Jeannie.
Sally.

Dr. Bellows. Oh.

Leslie.

Anthony. Oh.
Ah.

[MAGIC BOINGS]

Oh. Master, I'm so happy
to see you.

And I'm so glad to see you.

What are you doing here?

Oh.

[♪]

[♪]

[♪]

Listen, I know you two
miss each other,

but this doesn't look too good.
Jeannie, get out of here.

I am sorry, master, but when
I saw you, I forgot myself.

Ah, no. You can't go.
But... But... But master...

Once you're in here,
you're contaminated.

Oh. Why don't you
blink a girl for me,

we could start an epidemic.

Leslie.
Dr. Bellows!

[GASPS]

Ah.

SALLY:
Oh, Leslie.

What's the matter?

My wife...
My wife's having the baby.

Aw.
Yes. I think so.

Now, don't worry,
Sally. Just relax.

We'll get you to the hospital
in plenty of time.

Oh.

Uh, Jeannie, can you get a ride?

Where's Jeannie? That's
what I'd like to know.

Where is Jeannie?
Uh, well, she walked...

She was standing right here.

[SALLY GROANING] Amanda, please.

Mrs. Bellows,
my wife.

AMANDA:
Yes, of course. I'm sorry.

Oh, yes,
darling. Here.

Tony. Right there. Hah.

She's gonna have the baby.
Oh.

I'm gonna be a father.
Hey, he's gonna be a father.

A little ice cream
and pickles for you.

Just sit down and relax.

Get out of here.
But... But...

But out.

ROGER: Just relax. Relax.
Yeah.

Hey, nothing's gonna happen
for quite a while.

What you need is a nap.

Oh. No, no.

I couldn't go to sleep.

I'm much too nervous.

See, this is our first.

[♪]

Uh. Tony.

Uh, would you pass me
that, uh, cushion, huh?

Why don't you go
in the bedroom and lie down?

It's much more comfortable.

Yeah. You really
ought to relax.

Pass me a cushion, huh?

Give him a cushion.

Here you are.
My... My cushion.

What's the matter?

You won't believe this,
gentlemen...

but it's finally
happened. Heh.

But what?

We brought something back

with us from the moon.

Space garbage.

And it's in this wastebasket.

Well, uh, let me see.

No, no, no.
You'll let it out.

Now, we have to, uh...
We have to alert the base.

Right. Right.
Major Healey.

Press the alarm button.
Alarm button.

Roger. Are you sure, man?

Would I stand here with
a wastebasket and a cushion

if I wasn't?
What did it look like?

It's a tiny creature
about 6 inches long,

blond hair, female.

Wait a minute.

Did she have a black dress on?
[HITS ROGER]

That's impossible.
There's no life on the moon.

Armstrong and Aldrin
have proved that.

Well, they're wrong.
Now, listen, if you're not

gonna press that alarm button,
I will. Hold that.

Huh?

[QUIETLY]
Stop him. Stop him.

[WHISPERS] Get out of here.

Yes, master.

Wait a minute, commander.

Let's talk this over. Healey,

get out of my way.
Come on. I saw it.

[ALARM RINGS]

Nelson, the wastebasket.

I'm sorry, sir.
Look.

You let it out.

TONY:
Huh? Yeah.

[WHISPERS] Get out.

Huh? I said w...
It's out.

Whatever was in there
is certainly out now.

You let it out?
Mm-hm.

Well, gentlemen, what seems
to be the problem?

[ALL TALKING
AT ONCE]

Please, please. One at a time.

Oh, uh, this is
Mr. Heatherington

of the wire services.

Now, uh, what fantastic thing
happened, commander?

Well, sir. I was sitting
on the arm of that chair...

Hey, you're from
the wire services, huh?

He will be covering
the Isolation Lab

for the entire 21 days.

Sir. I was sitting...
Hey, that's marvelous.

Tony. Tony.
Tony. Tony.

You're interrupting
the commander.

Um. Thank you, Roge... For
pointing that out, Roger.

Sir, I was...
I was saying that it's great

to... To have
someone like him here

so that the whole world

could know if anything
interesting happens here.

SCHAEFFER:
We're very glad you're pleased.

Now will you let
Commander Wingate continue?

Yeah, well, what I meant
was that, uh...

You know, in case somebody, uh,

loses his grip
because of the strain

and starts seeing
things, you know?

Go ahead,
Leslie. Sorry.

Well, commander.
We're waiting.

My wife's having a baby.

[LAUGHS]

Right. Yeah,
we're waiting.

Any moment it's gonna be here.
The... The baby, right?

Roger! The baby.

Thanks for stopping me, Tony.
I... I really could have put

my foot in it back there.
Oh. Well, you can't expect

a man who's about to become
a new father to think straight.

Yeah. Well, I'm okay now.
All right. Good, good.

You know, I really thought
I saw something

in that wastebasket.
Yeah. That's my room, Les.

Uh, listen, it's
perfectly natural.

We've been under a lot
of strain, all of us.

What you need is some rest, huh?
Right.

You just get some sack time
there. Take it easy, huh?

Good.

Jeannie. You can
come out now.

Whoo. Whoo-hoo.

Hello. Whoo.

Jeannie. Oh, Jeannie.

[♪]

Well?
What?

She's not here.
I can't find her anyplace.

Maybe she's in my room.

[WHISPERS] Jeannie.
[LOUDLY] Jeannie, come out...!

Shh. Shh. Wingate is
right through that door.

[WINGATE
SCREAMS]

Don't think he's alone.
What?

In the closet. I saw it.
I saw it.

I saw it.
In the closet.

Take it easy.
What's the matter?

Don't tell me to take it easy.
We've got an extraterrestrial

creature on our hands,
and I'll prove it.

That's ridiculous.
Now, hold it.

Maybe he's got a point.
Yeah, maybe.

What?
Look, for years, the scientists

have been telling us that sooner
or later, we'll meet up

with an extraterrestrial
creature. I think it might be

safe to assume that we've
met one a little sooner

than we thought we would.

We have. We have, Tony.
We have.

I saw it.
I know you saw it.

But, Les, you're
the only one who has.

You need corroboration.

I'm going in there.

No. No, no.
No, no, Tony. Tony.

Tony. Tony.
It may be hostile.

I think you're getting
a little hostile, Les.

[GRUNTS]

I am sorry, master.
I thought it was your room.

WINGATE: See anything?
Not yet.

It's on the shelf. On the, uh...
On the left-hand side.

[♪]

Is this what you saw, Les?

Where'd you get the trophy?

It's Les's mission
souvenir. It says,

"Commander Leslie Wingate,
lunar module pilot."

That is not what I saw.

The creature I saw was about...
Was about 6 inches long,

had blond hair, and was
wearing a black dress.

I didn't know
they gave out trophies.

Why...? Why didn't I
get a trophy?

This is 6 inches long,
and in the dark, you can't tell

the difference
between gold and blond.

You think he'll buy it?

I don't know.
How much are you asking?

I knew. I... I shouldn't have
gone up with you guys.

I knew it. I knew it.
Take it easy.

On our last mission...

I saw a girl sitting next to me
in the command module

wearing a harem outfit.
Can you guys convince me

that I was having raptures
of deep space? Well? Huh?

Get the sleeping pills in there.

Look, I want you to lie down
and just get a lot of sleep.

Les, you're exhausted.
I just want to know,

why is it when I'm around
you two guys,

I start seeing things?

Why?
Well...

Here, Les. Here.
Take those.

Take your sleeping pills.

Oh, no. N-no sleeping pills.
I get an upset stomach.

Les, that's better
than an upset head.

That's... That's...
That's true.

[SOBS]
Oh. Shh, darling. All right,

you can stop apologizing.
I forgive you.

Oh, thank you, master.
You are most generous.

Yeah. But... We... There's
no way to fix it now.

Once you came in contact
with me, you were contaminated.

Contaminated!
Shh.

I mean, possibly contaminated
by any of the germs

I brought back from the moon.

You're just gonna have to
stay here the whole 21 days.

Oh.
Oh, I know, master.

That is terrible.

I cannot think of
a punishment severe enough

for one as stupid as I.

Now, all right. All right.
Don't overdo it.

Just stay out of sight.
Especially from Wingate, huh?

Oh, yes, master. I know.
That poor man.

About to become a new papa too.

Yeah. Hey,
I tell you what.

Hey. See if you can
pop yourself

into an outfit that looks
like this, huh?

Why, certainly,
master. Hm.

Of course, gold is not
my best color.

Perhaps emerald green
would look better.

Mm. T-try... Try gold.
It... It'll look nice on you.

Mm.

Blue?
Gold.

Oh.

Yes, master.
Okay.

[SIGHS]

[WOLF WHISTLE]

[EXASPERATED SIGH]

Gold is not my color.

[CHUCKLES] It looks great.
It really does.

Now... Now, uh... Uh, pop
yourself into this size.

Yes, master.
Okay.

Like this, master?

Yeah. If Wingate catches
a glimpse of you,

he'll think you're the trophy.

Must I stay like this
all the time?

Yeah, yeah.
You must stay there

unless we're absolutely
sure we're alone.

Master. I was thinking.
Yeah?

Since I am here...
Hm?

And we are alone.
Yeah.

A... And I am contaminated.

What is it?

Can we risk further
contamination?

Yeah, why not?

[♪]

[TONY MOANS]

[LESLIE GROANING]

All right.

Extraterrestrial.
No, no. No, no.

Oh-ho... Oh. Oh.

Oh.

Sally.

Sally. Oh.

Baby.

Boy. Boy.

Girl. Girl.

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Bye-bye.

[♪]

[SNORING]

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR OPENS]

Oh. For heaven's sakes.

It is very difficult
being a trophy.

[SIGHS]

Amanda, it's nearly 2:00
in the morning,

and these men need their sleep.

Alfred, I don't care.
Now, Commander Wingate has just

become the father of
a beautiful baby boy,

and I intend to tell him.

[GROANS]

Amanda. I still say
it can wait till morning.

And I say, Alfred,
that Commander Wingate

has been cooped up in there
probably worried to death

about his wife. And I think
we should just tell him

that everything is fine.

[BELL RINGS]

Oh.

Oh!

I will never get
any sleep around here.

Amanda.

Mm-hm?

Do you see what I see?

Oh.

Alfred. It's...

It's a little, tiny creature
in a gold suit

waving its antennae at us.

[♪]

[♪]

This is a very historic moment.

Our first contact

with extraterrestrial beings.

I think I'm gonna faint.

[GASPS]

Alfred, it's gone.

Incredible.

Evidently it has the power
to dematerialize at will.

[DOOR OPENS]

What's the matter?
What happened?

Major Nelson, Major Healey.
The most amazing thing.

There is life on the moon.

It's right over there
at the end of the couch.

Huh?
On the end of the couch.

Well, wait a minute, sir.
We don't understand

what you're talking about.
I do.

We just came back from
the hospital, and we found out

that Commander Wingate's
wife had the baby.

And then we looked
into the room,

and right over there, we saw...

Hey. Sally had the baby!
How about that!

A-a... A boy or a girl?

A boy, and she's
fine. But...

Hey, a boy. We gotta tell
the commander, huh?

[CACKLES]

What happened? What happened?
I just woke up...

Oh. Les, it's happened.
It's happened, Les.

Oh, you mean you found
the creature?

He has seen it too.

Huh? No, uh, you...
You had a boy.

Sally had a boy.

Sally had a boy.
Yeah.

Sally had a boy.
Yeah...

Sally had a boy...
Oh! Oh! Oh. Oh.

What...? What, is she...?
Is she okay?

She's fine, commander.
Congratulations.

Commander. Commander,
a few seconds ago,

you asked about a creature.

He was asleep, sir. He didn't
know what he was saying.

Yeah, he was asleep.

Gentlemen, please.
Let the commander speak.

Commander, see, we saw it too.

It's about 8 inches long,
had a gold suit,

and was sitting right over...
Oh, that.

Listen, relax, Dr. and
Mrs. Bellows. It was nothing.

Nothing?
We saw it.

I saw it too. And I was
pretty shook up at first,

until Tony showed me
what it was.

We had a lot of laughs over it.

[ALL LAUGH]

I don't know what's going on.

Uh... Do you mean to tell me
you three saw this thing,

and... And you're
not upset?

I'll show you.

TONY: He'll show it to you.

Hey. At least I'm not
the only one

who made the same mistake, huh?

Yeah. It's funny
what nerves can do.

Yeah, my nerves are
getting pretty funny.

[CHUCKLES] My nerves.

[♪]

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[OBJECTS RATTLING]

A boy, huh? Uh, did Sally
give it a name yet?

Uh, well, no...
How...? How much did it weigh?

Dr. and Mrs. Bellows,
is this what you saw?

A trophy. Oh, but it
looks sort of like

what we saw,
only what we saw moved.

That's ridiculous. Uh, trophies
don't move, Mrs. Bellows.

BELLOWS:
Exactly.

Then how did it get to wherever
Commander Wingate found it?

Yeah, Tony. H-how did...? How
did...? How did that happen?

Well, it's just an ordinary
trophy. It's got a... oh!

Oh!
Whoa.

AMANDA:
What happened?

What's going on down there?
I'm sorry.

I dropped
your statue. Sorry.

[QUIETLY]
Jeannie, are you all right?

BELLOWS: Major Nelson. Yes?

Come back here.
I want to see that trophy.

I can't, sir.
It's broken.

Well, it's a little late,
so good night.

BELLOWS: Just a
moment, Major Healey.

We're going to get to
the bottom of this, and now.

Yeah, well, uh...

All right, sir. What do we...?
What do we discuss?

Uh, commander. Tell us
everything that happened.

[♪]

Jeannie. Darling,
say something.

Tell me what's wrong, please.

Oh.
[GROANS]

Darling, are you all right?
Oh.

Oh... Oh.

What's the matter?
Oh, I have a terrible headache.

Oh. Uh, there are
some, uh,

headache pills in the bathroom.

Oh.
Uh, go in there, and I...

I want you to stay there until
e-everybody goes to sleep, okay?

Gently. Yes, master.

You all right?
Yes. Gently.

Okay. Stay there.

Oh!
I'm sorry.

Ow!
Oh.

[DOOR OPENS]

ROGER: Tony?
Yeah.

Oh, hey, Tony.
Uh, how's Jeannie?

She's okay. She's just got
a little headache.

What's going on out there?
Don't worry. I fixed everything.

The Bellows thought
they saw something,

and it made Wingate suspicious.

I knew that was gonna happen.

And Dr. Bellows was gonna
call General Schaeffer.

You're kidding. Oh...
Don't worry.

You'll be proud of me.
I fixed everything.

I... I told Dr. Bellows
no use panicking everybody

over something he's not sure of.
Yeah, yeah.

Dr. Bellows is gonna have
the sterilization crew

come in tomorrow
and search everything.

What?
Jeannie can make herself

teeny-tiny again...
Oh, great. That's all we need.

That was stupendous.
That was a great idea.

Master?
Huh?

Oh, these are funny
headache pills.

I took two of them and...

I feel so sleepy.

Wait, Jeannie.
Jeannie. Darling.

We have to... Darling.
What's the matter?

Jeannie? Hold it.
Wake up. Sweetheart.

Wait a minute. These aren't
headache pills.

They're sleeping pills.

Wingate took two of these,
and he was out for eight hours.

Oh, night-night, Jeannie.

The sterilization crew,
when is it coming?

Six o'clock in the morning.

Oh, that's great.
You got any idea

how we're gonna hide
a 110-pound genie?

I don't know, but she'd
make a big trophy.

[♪]

No, Amanda.
I still don't know

why you insisted on being here.

Because, Alfred, I saw it
the first time.

And if it's here,
I intend to see it again.

Well, they certainly
didn't find anything

in this part of the lab.

They've gone over it
with a fine-toothed comb.

Oh, Alfred. I wonder how
they all feel in there.

I mean, you know,
being cooped up with

a creature from another planet.

Well, as far as
Major Nelson is concerned,

I sometimes wonder whether
he's of another world.

[GIGGLES]

Well, I like to keep
a clean isolation lab.

[DEVICE CLICKING]
That's it, guys, huh?

Out the door we go.
Where you going, fellas?

Wait a minute.
That's Major Nelson's room.

Uh, don't go in there.
Major... Major Nelson's sleeping.

Be quiet when you're in there,

because he's sleeping, fellas.
Very quiet.

Very quiet, major.
Sleepy-sleepy.

[DEVICE CLICKING]

Oh.

Carry on.

[CLAPS HANDS]

Tony. Listen, I want...

Shh. Uh, Tony's asleep.

But he was just in the hall.
Yeah. W-was he in the hall?

Oh, that was me in the hall.

But... But if you're here,
then who was that in the hall?

Oh, you're right.
That was me in the hall.

Have you seen the trophy?
I wanna take a look at it.

No, I haven't seen it, Les.
Maybe it's in your closet.

Yeah, maybe it's
in the closet, Les.

Oh.

Nice job.

No. Nope.
Uh, no. No.

Maybe it's in your closet.

Yeah maybe it's in
my closet, Les.

No, Les. Wait
a minute, Les.

It's not in
my closet. Les?

[♪]

Tony. But Ro... Roger said
you were sleeping.

Yeah, I was.
It was quieter in here.

Well, that makes sense.

But I... But if you're here,

who's sleeping in your bed?

Goldilocks?

[LAUGHS]

Wait a minute. You don't
wanna go in there.

The sterilization crew's
in there.

Get out of my way.
Somebody's in your bed.

No, that's all your imagination.

I've had about enough
of my... My imagination.

Whoa.

Wait. Wait.
Wait a minute. Wait.

Oh, boy. Those short naps
are refreshing.

But you said you were Tony.

Roger, that's Tony.
And you're Wingate.

I know who I am.
I know who you are.

What I want to know is,

who was in this bed?

Move, Nelson.

Nelson, you're forgetting
something. I outrank you.

Yeah, well...

Get out of the way!

All right.

[MUTTERS]

[CACKLING]

I found it!
I found it!

I found it!

Jeannie. Get him!

Get him.
Don't go away.

Now, come on, Roger.
Roger.

[♪]

And you authorized
the sterilization crew.

Yes, sir. And I take
full responsibility.

May I ask why?
General, you're not gonna

believe this.
I mean, you won't

believe it, but last night,

I saw, on this couch...

a tiny little creature

uh, about 6 inches long,

with a...
With a gold suit...

waving.

A tiny little creature...

6 inches long...

waving.

That's right, sir.
I saw it too.

I found it!
I found it!

Oh. Oh, in
Major Nelson's room.

Do you see, sir?
What did you find, commander?

The creature, sir.
The creature.

It... It's huge.

It's over 5 feet tall.

And it's wearing a gold
astronaut's uniform.

And it's hiding in
Major Nelson's closet.

Don't listen. Lack of sleep.
He's overwrought.

Yeah, it's the baby, sir.
It's the strain...

Silence!

Five feet tall, commander?

Six inches, doctor?

It must have grown.

BELLOWS:
Oh. Here they are, general.

[♪]

Well, gentlemen.
Anything happen?

Not a thing, doctor.
Clean as a whistle.

But... But I saw it.
In... In...

In Major Nelson's
room. I...

BELLOWS:
Are you sure?

We checked everywhere,

but we can go over it
again if you like.

No, that won't be necessary.

Uh, gentlemen...

you're going to have to be

in the isolation
chamber for three weeks.

That's a long time,
but it will seem

considerably longer

if you let your imaginations
run away with you.

Now, I suggest that
you all forget about this, uh...

This creature,
and get some rest.

But general, now, you can get...
And my suggestion

goes for you too,
Mrs. Bellows.

[♪]

[EXHALES]

HEATHERINGTON: General, wait.
Mm-hm?

I just heard that
the sterilization crew

has been in the isolation lab.

Can you tell me why?

Mm-hm.

It was the maid's day off.

It's okay. You just need
a little rest.

ROGER:
I need a little rest. Boy.

TONY: You'll be back on
your feet in no time.

[♪]

Three weeks. Never
make it three weeks.

[♪]

[♪]