05x22 - Eternally Yours, Jeannie

Episode transcripts for the TV show "I Dream of Jeannie". Aired: September 18, 1965 – May 26, 1970.*
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Rescued from a bottle by a U.S. astronaut, a scantily clad genie named Jeannie becomes his sl*ve and eventually falls in love with him.
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05x22 - Eternally Yours, Jeannie

Post by bunniefuu »

[♪]

[HUMMING]

"Major Bunky Nelson"?

[SNIFFING]

[SNEEZES]

[EXHALES]

Lavender?

Hmm.

No special occasion, major.

Amanda got a new cookbook, and
she wants to try it out on you.

Uh, shall we say 7:30?

Yeah, 7:30's fine, sir.

Uh, just let me call Jeannie
and check.

[PHONE RINGS] Fine.

Yeah. Major Nelson here.

Oh, hello, darling.
I was just gonna call you.

The mail came, master.

Oh. Anything important?

Well, there... There's a letter
addressed to Major Bunky Nelson.

Bunky Nelson?
What's the return address on it?

Fowler's Corners, Ohio.

Well, I'll be darned.
Open it up.

Uh, major, about tonight?

Oh, uh, Dr. Bellows asked us
over for dinner tonight,

and, uh, I said yes.

Is that all right with you?

Heh. Well, of course, darling.
I would be delighted.

Yeah. She says it's all right.
Oh, good.

But, uh, I do not open letters
smelling of lavender,

addressed to Bunky Nelsons
I do not know.

Oh, I'll need
that telemetry report

I-if you're through with it.

Oh, sure.

You open it.

Here you are, sir.

Don't be silly, darling.

Fowler's Corners
is my old hometown.

Open it up.
I wanna know who it's from.

Of course, master,
if you insist on it.

Goodbye.
Goodbye.

Wait a minute, darling...
[LINE CLICKS]

Bunky Nelson?

Yeah.

[♪]

It's kind of a nickname...

Major Nelson...

[♪]

[♪]

Major Nelson,
the top-secret telemetry file.

I was holding it in my hand,

along with some sort
of a personal letter,

and it disappeared.

Well, I don't see
how that could've happened, sir.

I didn't give it to you.

Major Nelson,
I was holding it in my hand.

Well, then, where is it, sir?

That's what I'm asking you.

[GIGGLES]

[♪]

"Dearest Bunky,
do they still call you that?

"I imagine not, now that you
are a famous astronaut.

"Surprise. I am going
to be in Cocoa Beach,

"and I thought what fun
it would be to see you again.

Remember this?
Eternally yours, Bonnie."

"Eternally yours"?

"PS: I have enclosed
a recent picture of me."

Picture?

Hmm.

"I will wear this dress
when I come to see you

"so you'll have no trouble
recognizing me.

"I mean, after all these years,

I am afraid I have gotten
terribly old and fat."

"Old and fat"?

Huh. She's beautiful.

Major, a top-secret file
is missing.

This is no time for phone calls.

[CHUCKLES]

[PHONE RINGS]

Uh, listen, Jeannie...

Uh, Major Nelson...
Huh?

She signs it,
"Eternally yours, Bonnie."

Jeannie can wait.
The telemetry file.

Oh, I think it's over
in the top drawer

in that cabinet, sir.
Oh.

But... But, master,
I would like to know,

who is Bonnie?
I'll explain later.

Anything else pop in
with that letter?

I would like you
to explain now, Anthony.

Bonnie Crenshaw, she was
my high school sweetheart.

When you popped in that letter,
you also popped in an envelope.

Oh. Yes, so I did.

Master, I would like you
to explain right...

Now, get it back here
right away.

Yes, master.

But truly, I would like to know
who Bonnie Crenshaw is.

Major Nelson, for the last time,
I warn you...

Here it is, sir.
Right there.

That's the only copy I had.

Thank you, darling.

Major Nelson.

Yes?

Uh... Oh, nothing.
Nothing at all.

Tell me, why is it that
every time I leave this office,

I'm completely bewildered?

[HUMMING]

[SIGHS]

Aha.

Bonnie Crenshaw.

Bonnie Crenshaw.

Bonnie Crenshaw, Bonnie...

[GASPS]

Well, she's hardly changed
at all.

"Dear Bunky, you are
the coolest guy

"in A-12 homeroom.

Eternally yours, Bonnie."

"Eternally yours" again.

[MUTTERING]

Oh, there's my master.

[GIGGLES]

Oh, he looks so handsome.

"Nelson, Anthony.

"Senior class president,
debating society,

"junior varsity football,
Parthenians.

And love and smooches
from Bonnie to Bunky."

Bonnie, Bonnie!
I am sick of Bonnie.

[GASPS]

He kept it.

All these years and he kept it.

He kept it eternally.

Oh, and now she's coming
to Cocoa Beach.

Oh, I wonder.

I truly wonder...

[♪]

TONY:
Bonnie? Bonnie, is it you?

Oh!

[PLAYING "MY BONNIE LIES
OVER THE OCEAN"]

[GRUNTS]

TONY: I'm coming, Bonnie.
I'm coming.

I, Anthony Nelson,
take thee, Bonnie Crenshaw,

to be my lawfully wedded wife.

Eternally.

Mmm!

He married me on the rebound.

[DOOR OPENS]
TONY: Jeannie, I'm home.

Hi, Jeannie.

[EXHALES]

Hello, darling.
How are you?

Why don't you whip us up
a couple of sandwiches, huh?

Oh, it would be
a pleasure, master.

Hmm, what a pleasant surprise.

You're usually not home
for lunch.

Heh. I wanted to come
and see that letter.

Now, where is it?
Oh, that.

Mm-hm.
It is on the coffee table.

Yeah? Which one?

There are
a hundred letters here.

Oh, I-it is the smelly one.

Oh.

[SNIFFS]

Mmm, yeah.

[♪]

I wish I'd never seen
that letter.

[SIGHS]

How about that,
after all these years,

"Eternally yours, Bonnie."

Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Hey, is that her?

Yeah.
[WHISTLES]

Yeah. Hey, that's
a great-looking chick.

I tell you, she really
had me doing handstands.

[GASPS]

He still loves her.

Yeah, I wonder what
she looks like now.

Ah, I don't know. I'll...
I'll be finding out tomorrow.

She's coming here.

I ran into an old high school
friend of mine the other day.

Boy, was she grubby and fat.
Yech.

Changed a lot, huh?

No, that's the trouble.

She hadn't changed at all.

Jeannie!

How about those sandwiches?

[YELLS]

Mmm.

I'll be home at 6:30

and we're due
at the Bellows' at 7:30.

Okay?
Thanks for the sandwiches.

Swiss cheese on linoleum.
Bye.

I am sorry, master,
but I am afraid

I will not be able to go to
the Bellows' with you tonight.

Well, why not?

Well, uh, I-it is my mother.

She's not feeling well.

A-and I promised that I would
visit her tonight.

You didn't say anything
this morning.

It come up suddenly?

Oh, y-yes. Yes.

Uh, I decided to go
when the mail came.

Couldn't you put it off
till tomorrow?

Why, no. No, no, no.
That would not be right.

But, uh, I could ask her
to come here.

Heh. I'll see you
when you get back.

Bye-bye.

I've been waiting for you.
Where you been?

Bye, master.

[♪]

I think my master should meet

his high school
sweetheart today.

[LAUGHS]

[JEANNIE'S VOICE] But there
is no sense taking chances.

Oh, that's perfectly all right,
major. I understand.

I hope that Jeannie's mother
feels better.

Oh, I'm sure
it's nothing serious, sir.

Excuse me, miss.

May I help you find someone?

Oh, that is all right.
I...

Um, that is, yes.

I am looking
for Major Nelson's office.

I'm sorry, but you'll
have to get a pass.

If you'll go
around the corner...

Oh, I have a pass.

I forgot to put it on.

See?
I see. Yes.

So Jeannie didn't go
to her mother's after all.

Major Nelson's office, was it?

Right around the corner,
first door on your left.

Uh, thank you.
You're welcome.

She's jealous
of my high school sweetheart.

Well, I better teach
that young lady a lesson.

Oh, uh, major,

just one more question
about the telemetry report.

Yes. All right, sir.

Now, about that, uh,
telemetry report, I...

[♪]

Miss? Whoa, miss.
Stop. Stop.

Oh, dear.

Wait a minute.

Bonnie Crenshaw?

Yes.

But how did you know my name?

Well, I'm a psychic.

Really?

Nobody's home at his house.

Maybe I should go down to NASA
with you and surprise him.

Hey, hey, that's a great idea.

While I'm talking
to the procurement officer

about the contracts, you
can be buttering up old Bunky.

Who knows?

Maybe he can put in
a good word for us.

Are you sure you don't mind
my seeing him again, Moose?

I mean, uh, Bunky and I
were a pretty hot item

before you snatched me
away from him.

Heh. Bunky Nelson?
That twerp.

He couldn't even make
first-string varsity.

But, Moose,
he's a famous astronaut now.

And I'm a famous
electrical supply contractor.

Hey, you trying
to make me jealous?

Listen, honey, if I ever catch
anybody making a pass at you,

I'll break him in half.

But...

Bunky Nelson?

[SCOFFS]

Come on.

Okay, Moose.

I just wanted to be sure.

I saw your picture
in Tony's yearbook.

You were pretty then,
but you're prettier now.

Oh, thank you.

Well, I was just...
Oh, oh, look.

I wouldn't go in there.
He's not there. He's, uh...

I know, he's my best friend.

I have some pictures of him
in my office.

Would you like to go over
to, uh...?

We can talk about him
in my office.

I don't think I...

Honey, anybody...

Anybody who helps me get
those contracts is okay by me.

You know something, Moose?
Mm?

Sometimes I think
your precious contracts

are more important to you
than I am.

You, uh, like the fur coats
those contracts let me get you?

Right?
Yeah.

Okay. Well, if they let me make
the toggle switches

for their rockets, I'll buy you
sable instead of dyed rabbit.

Push, pull, on, off.

They must need a million of 'em.

So you see...

So you see,
Tony's a happily married man,

to a wonderful girl.

She, uh... She sounds
a lot like you.

The same voice.

Really?
Really.

Is she, uh, prettier than I am?

Uh, is she prettier
than you are?

Well, let's put it this way.

She's a married pretty and, uh,

you're a single pretty.

You, uh... You are single,
aren't you?

Uh...

Uh, yes.

After Bunky, there was
no one I could...

You poor kid, pining away all
those years in Flower's Corners.

Fowler's Corners.

Yeah, Flower's Corners.
Just... Just thinking of Tony.

What a nice kid.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

Bunky Nelson.

I'd know you anywhere.

Well, Bonnie.
I'd know you anywhere.

Now, this is wonderful.

Here, here. Sit down, please.

Say, you haven't changed
since high school.

Oh, and you're
just as handsome as ever.

[CHUCKLES]
That uniform becomes you.

Thanks.
This is quite a surprise.

I... I didn't expect you
until tomorrow.

Oh, well, we took
an earlier plane.

We?
Mm.

Moose Murphy and I.
Well, you remember.

The all-city fullback.

Heh. We got married, you know.

What?

Oh, you didn't know.

That's strange.

I didn't think
it'd hurt this much.

Oh, Bunky, come on now.

Not after all these years.
Hee-hee.

Major Healey, I think that
I would like to see Bunky now.

W-w-wait a minute.
You just sit down and talk.

Sit down for a drink and we can
have a few sandwiches here.

We could talk.
We have so much in common.

What do we have in common,
Major Healey?

What do we have in common?
What do we have in common?

Oh, well, what do we have
in common?

Well, to begin with,
neither one of us are married.

We're just here to sit here
and talk about old Bunky.

Oh, Bunky, I had no idea.

[YELLS]
Yes, after all these years,

finally in my arms again.

Bunky, now wait.
You've got the wrong idea.

Bunky...
Darling,

y-you'd better go home
before somebody sees you.

What?
Ye...

Uh, don't you understand?


I recognized you
from the first moment.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Yes, that's what you said.
Yeah.

S-sweetheart, I-I suppose
I should be angry at you, uh,

but I guess it's normal
for a wife to be jealous

of her husband's
childhood sweetheart.

But I want you to understand...
Ooh!

I want you to understand
that you're my wife, I love you.

There's never been anybody else.
Do you understand?

Bunky, tell me something.

They let men in your condition
go to the moon?

Major Healey, please.
We will all have a drink later.

Ah. Right now all I want
to do is see my...

Is see good old Bunky.

Yeah, well, we can see
good old Bunky later.

We'll go to lunch
and talk about him.

Oh, Major Healey.

You are making a mistake.

I'm making a mistake?
I'm making a mistake?

He's a happily married man.
You wanna be a home wrecker?

We'll go over to my apartment
and you can wreck it.

JEANNIE:
Major Healey...

let go of my hand.

[♪]

Oh, okay, I'm sorry.

Wait, I'll never forgive myself
if I let you go.

Hit him low and hit him hard.

Uh, fella,
no running in the halls.

Ah, wait a minute!

So this is what I get
for trusting you.

I find you billing and cooing

with the first astronaut
who comes along.

Okay, let's go.

We're getting out of here.

The heck with
the toggle switches.

Major Healey,
what are you doing on the floor?

What are you doing?
What happened?

Wake up. Wake up, major.
What happened?

Wait a minute. Oh, yeah,
I was talking to this girl and...

I knew it.

I knew that one of these days

one of your girls
would get you into trouble.

It must be one of those days,

'cause one of those girls
got me into trouble.

Yes, well, here we go, now.

Take it easy.
Oh, my head.

Oh, come, come, come,
come, come.

And for heaven's sakes, major,
stay out of these corridors.

Bunky, stop it.
Let me go.

What are you doing?

Jeannie, will you cut it out
and blink us home?

Jeannie? Who's Jeannie?
And what do you mean, blink?

You're weird.
What?

Help!
Shh!

How long are you gonna
keep this up anyhow?

Major Nelson,
what are you doing?

It's all right, sir.
She needs a little air.

Well, I shouldn't wonder.

That's funny.

I thought I saw
that other fellow carry her off.

[♪]

Oh...

where am I?

Ah! Oh, dear,
I remember.

We're going right back
to Fowler's Corners.

Bonnie.
Bonnie, where are you?

She's gone back to find him.

He must have her hypnotized.

Well, we'll just see about that.

When I find that guy,
the space program's

gonna be short one astronaut.

Hey, have you seen my wife?

I beg your pardon?
My wife.

I'm looking for my wife

and that astronaut
who made a pass at her.

Oh, so that's how it was.
Yeah.

Well, you needn't worry.
She's in good hands now.

Major Nelson took her home.

Bunky Nelson?

The other guy was a blind.

Oh, Moose, you idiot.

Bunky?

Where have I heard
that name before?

Major Healey.

Major, are you going to make
a habit of this?

[SIGHS]

Ooh, I am beginning to wonder

if this was such a good idea
after all.

Jeannie, how long
you gonna keep this up?

Come on.

What are you going to do?

I'm gonna ask you
to sit down here and calm down

while I explain the whole thing
over to you again.

The masquerade is finished.
It's over.

I love you, Jeannie.

And I don't plan
on loving anybody else

for the rest of my life.

Oh, I take it back.

I think it is a marvelous idea.

You understand?

No.

I do.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

You stay here.

Whatever it is, I'll handle it.

Yes...?
Where is she?!

Huh? Where is she?
Oh!

Moo... Moose, hi...
Moose, it's me.

Don't give me that, you twerp.

No, no. It's not
what you think. It...

Moose!

Bonnie.

Bonnie, how could you?

He... He made me.

Oh, I get it.
It was you all the time.

B-Bonnie...

Bunky Nelson, the twerp.

M-Moose, Moose,
for old time's sake...

It was a mistake...

Wait a minute,
what are you doing?

Hit him low and hit him hard.

Isn't there any way to stop...
[YELLING]

[SIGHS]

Oh, Moose...

Jeannie, Jeannie.

Oh, oh. Moose, Moose.

Hey, I-I-I'm sorry. I...

Oh!

Jeannie!? Jeannie?
Jeannie, look.

You do care about me.

You do care.

Hey, coach.

Listen, coach,
if Bunky can block like that,

you ought to put him
on the first string.

Oh, come on, Moose, darling.

Let's go home.

I don't ever wanna see
Bunky Nelson again.

Come on.
Yeah.

Time for a shower.

TONY:
You understand?

I never wanna see
a Bonnie Crenshaw again,

you understand?
Yes, darling. I understand.

Never again.
A-and that goes

for you as Bonnie Crenshaw

and the real Bonnie Crenshaw
you blinked up

to look like Bonnie Crenshaw.
Yes, darling! I love you too.

I love you so much.
Ha-ha.

I'm telling you, there wasn't
anything I could do.

But...
[LINE CLICKS]

Hi, Tony.
How about a little lunch, huh?

Oh, I can't.
What's the matter?

Well, I just had to cancel
a luncheon engagement

with Jeannie because
some Lieutenant Dawson

is coming in from Houston.

I have to have lunch with him.

Who's Lieutenant Dawson?
I don't know.

Some guy coming in from NASA,
I guess.

Diplomatic guy or something.
Major Nelson,

Lieutenant Dawson here.

BOTH:
You're Lieutenant Dawson?

Yes.
She's Lieutenant Dawson.

Well, I'm Major Healey.

How do you do?
How are you?

Hi.
Did you have a nice flight?

Magic carpet service
all the way.

Yeah, magic carpet service...

I just blinked my eyes
and I was here.

Yeah, that's not Dawson,
that's Jeannie.

My name's not Jeannie.

Don't you think that's informal,
calling her by her first name?

You promised you wouldn't make
trouble. Blink out of here.

What are you talking about?

You're not gonna blink?

You know how she gets
when she doesn't blink.

We gotta get her out of here.
I'll get her anywhere.

Husband?

Husband, I am so sorry.

I did not mean
to cause trouble. I...

Wha...?
What are you doing here?

Major Nelson, what is going on?
Yeah, what's going on?

I'm sorry.
I got a little confused.

Uh, I thought you were her.

And I thought
she, of course, was you.

[LAUGHS]

Would you take her
to lunch, please?

Yeah. Well, I don't like it...
Not her. Her.

Will someone take me to lunch?
I liked her in the first place.

See ya.

Shall we go to lunch?

Oh, yes, master!

[♪]
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