05x11 - Scandalized

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Brothers & Sisters". Aired: September 24, 2006 –; May 8, 2011.*
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Mother Nora is the glue that holds the dysfunctional Walker clan together as family members face a variety of challenges.
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05x11 - Scandalized

Post by bunniefuu »

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Respirations .
Blood loss?

Heavy. I placed an occlusive
dressing on his chest

to seal the wound... smart move.

And his SATs are in the lower s.

All right. On my count.
One, two, three.

Okay, guys. We got it from here.

Okay.

Nice job, rookie.

Nothing sexier than
a man in uniform.

Thank you.

I think she was talking to me, bro.

I know.

I heard the call come in.
Ambulance five on its way.

Yeah, I'd kiss you right now,

but I'm kind of covered in blood.

Yeah. Well, it's better than vomit,
though, right?

Oh, no, we've had that today,
too. Ooh.

Yeah, they should really tell
you about the sheer number

of fluids you'll experience
in the paramedic handbook.

Rookie, see ya in the rig, bro.
All right. Later.

"The rig, bro"?

Oh, he's cool. He's, uh,
kind of hazing the new guy.

He's got me working a
double today, so...

Ooh. What about bowling?

Oh, no. Bowling is tonight.

Yeah. It's fine. Annie, I'm sorry.

It's... No, it's fine.
I'm not... You know what?

I'm not even a good bowler, so...

Annie, I'm sorry.
This job, it's just / and...

I'm beginning to see that.

How about lunch? Do they
give you guys lunch breaks.

Oh.

Yep, duty calls.
I will text you later.

All right. Sorry.

Of course, change is difficult,

but keep up the good work.

Thank you.

Make mine to noradrenaline.

Nora.

You didn't have to stand in line.
I didn't. I cut in.

Of course you did.

Listen, why don't you,
um, have a seat?

Really? Yeah. Come on.
Please. I insist.

All right. Excuse me.

Well, well, this is
all very impressive.

The line is out the
door and down the block.

You're, like, a sex symbol. Oh.

What, am I dating

the Robert Redford of psychiatry?

Can you sign it to Trisha?

Sure, Trisha.

Your eyes are even more
magnetic in person.

Oh... yeah.

T-r-I-s-h-a, right?

Ah, ah, ah, ah.

Here is... your phone.

You left it at my place last night.

Oh, how careless of me.
Are we still on for tonight?

Yeah, yeah, : , uh,
: P.M., right?

"Antiques Roadshow," kung pao
chicken... You know what?

We always do the same
thing every Friday night.

I know you're a
stickler for routine,

but how about I
roast you a chicken?

And then we can watch your show if

it means so much to you.
Her roast chicken is amazing.

Her secret is putting
butter under the skin.

You're "dear mom," right?
Yes.

I'm a big fan.

No.

The chicken really is to die for.

Roast chicken it is.

Thank you, Trisha.

I'm so happy for you two.

Are you blushing or
holding your breath?

Take a guess.
You know what? I have to go.

I will see you later tonight.

Mm-hmm. Bye.

Bye. Good-bye, ladies.

Hello. How are you?

It's important to be...

Realistic.

Realistic, that's right.

The foster system isn't perfect.

It's important to be honest

about what types of cases
you're willing to take on.

Now today, I'd like to get started

with everyone's favorite...
Role-playing. Any volunteers?

Oh. No, I don't want to.

Um, Scotty, Kevin, come on up.

Great. Why do you
always do this to us?

I'm still traumatized
from the diaper Olympics.

Okay, now have a seat
in our living room.

And this is your son.

Oh, great. We'll call him vinny.

Vinny?

There was a, uh, "Jersey Shore"
marathon on last night.

Vinny's a nice name.

Okay. I'm gonna be
playing myself. Ready?

Knock, knock.

Oh, hello, Jill.

Mr. and Mr. Walker,

I regret to inform
you that vinny's mom

has decided to reclaim her
parental rights to her son.

Well, that's ridiculous. We've
had vinny for over a month now,

and she just wants him back? Scotty,
the law clearly states,

the birth mother has
days to change her mind,

so we have no choice.
Kevin, he's our son.

I think what Jill
wants to see here is

our ability to handle whatever
comes our way, including this.

So why don't you give vinny to me?

No, I'm sorry. This is wrong.
It's a doll, Scotty. Come on.

Oh, Kevin, please,
stay in character. Yeah.

Okay. Would you guys like
to say your good-byes now?

Isn't there anything else we can do?
I'm afraid there isn't.

Okay, Mr. practical,

you handle it.

I'm, um...

I'm sorry it didn't work out,
vinny. Good-bye.

Oh...

Oh, okay.

All right, you little monkey,

papa Scotty and I,
we... we love you very much,

but your mom has changed her
mind and wants you back.

So...

As much as it breaks
our hearts to say this,

we have to let you go.

You'll never know how much
we wanted to keep you.

Make sure she's good to him.

Wow. Does everyone cry
or just the gay dads?

Your, uh, your phone's ringing.

I know. I know. It always rings.

Okay. Mm.

Wait. That's my phone.
It never rings. Ignore it.

Obviously. Mm.

Mm.

Mm. Oh, my God. I don't believe it.

It's my editor?
My high school lab partner?

They can wait. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh. Mm.

I give up. I give up.

Sarah? My cousin hal?

Probably calling me from
her business trip. What?

Hey, Sarah. Hal, long time, man.

So what, did somebody die? What?

"The Huffington Post"?
What do you mean,

it's all over the Internet?

No. No. H-how many hits? Um,
okay, uh, uh, look, I-I-I...

I gotta go.

Somebody told something and
it's all over the Internet...

...Leaked the story about
us seeing each other...

That we...
I know. It's gone viral.

Oh. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

This is Kevin. He's texting me.

"The skinny minnie web
site picked up the story,

and there's a picture."

What? Oh, no.

What?

You look like you're
in that picture.

Uh, that's because I am
in that picture. Oh.

This is my high
school yearbook photo.

Shut up. What was I thinking?

Of course this was gonna blow up.

I mean, I'm dating the dean's son.

This... this was never
gonna be a secret.

Yeah, but I mean, come on,

you used to spin things
for a living, right?

I mean, how hard can it be?

We just deny it.
No, you don't deny it.

The cover-up is worse than the crime.
Dating me is a crime now?

No. No, not literally.

It... thank God.

Oh.

What is that?

It's a personalized ringtone.

Whose?

My mother. Your mother's?

Oh, turn it... turn it off.

Okay. Um...

There. There. She's, uh, gone.

Well, good.

Oh.

It's your mother, isn't it?

Yeah.

Ugh. Damn it. Okay. You don't
have to talk to her, all right?

Let me handle this.
You're very sweet,

but it was my decision
to be discreet,

so it's my fault.

So whatever she has to say,
I can take it.

Hold my hand.

Hello.

Yes, yes. Hi. Hi, dean whitley.

Uh-huh.

Uh, sure. Okay. Thank you.

She wants to see me...

Today.

Why doesn't she call?

Because she's probably
too busy reading this.

"Kitty Walker McCallister and
son of dean in sex scandal."

Where are you reading this crap?
The online political rags.

They're calling Seth her
"boy toy barista."

Oh, my God. It's completely absurd.

I mean, Kitty is...
is not even a politician anymore.

I know.

I can't believe the attention
she's getting either.

She's even trending on Twitter.
It's like the good ol' days.

Oh, wow. Look at
this picture of him.

He looks like the sixth
member of 'Nsync.

Aw. Oh, crap-o.

"After robbing the dean's cradle,

"Kitty m... or should I say
cougar Walker McCallister,

"has been teaching
at Wexley university

for the past month"...
Stop. Stop.

You're practically salivating,
reading all this trash. Sorry.

Guess I didn't realize how
much I miss political scandal.

Oh, I have something for you.

Here. This is your
letter of recommendation.

Oh. Give it to your social worker.

I hope you're a better father
than you are a brother. Ouch.

Yeah.

Is that Kitty? "O.M.G.
O.M.G. Paparazzi at my house."

Paparazzi? My God.
The world has gone mad.

"Have you talked to mom yet?
" Give me the phone.

No, it takes you, like,
five minutes to type "hello."

I'm with mom right now. Sending
all our support and love...

And acne cream.

Kevin.

What did she say?
"Screw you, Kevin."

Aha. Tell her this is
completely ridiculous.

She is allowed to date
whomever she wants.

Type it. Go. Type it. Okay.

And besides that, you know,
Seth is really a nice boy.

Man.

What? What does she say?

"Can I come to mom's tonight?
Safer there."

Yes. Tell her yes, yes.

Karl is coming, too, but he's
just gonna have to deal with it.

Tell her to bring Seth.

Well, now I want to come, too.

No. What?

Absolutely not.

You'll spend the whole
evening making fun of her.

I won't. What does she say?

"Ask mom if you can come, too."

Oh, all right.

Everybody can come.

Great.

Um...

Karl does like us, right?

Yes.

Yes. He likes you very much.

Good.

In moderation.

Oh. Uh-oh.

Look, would you do me a favor

and please be on your
best behavior tonight?

He... he never had a family before.

So you're gonna start
him off on ours?

It's the only one I've got.

Well, tell him to drink more.

Look, Karl is a wonderful,
highly intelligent man.

All right. Okay.
He... he's a little stiff.

But he... h-he wants
to try to change.

Well, then tonight should be fun.

Yeah.

Ooh. "Later.
I'm off to see the dean."

What are you writing?

Have fun in detention.

So you're gonna want
to put the needles

in one of the drawers with latches.

Last thing you want is

a bunch of sharps flying
out at miles per,

unless you're a ninja, I guess.

Yeah, sorry, Dan.

But I do know how to fire an m .

I like you, man.

You're doing good so far.

That nurse chick definitely
thought you were the man.

Nurse chick?

Dude, please. You were so playin'
up the hero thing. I was not.

You hittin' that? Classy.

Yes! You are. I knew it. Dude,
you know what? Relax, all right?

Good one. We're just
taking it casual.

Really? Yeah.

Because I would be
spending all my free time

with a beautiful creature like that.
Well, okay, what free time?

Dude, you're the one taking
all the shifts from everyone,

working all the time.
You can pull it back a little.

Being a paramedic's
what I want to do,

and it took me a long
time to figure that out,

so if that means pulling doubles
or working the night shift

where I can't go bowling,
that's what I'm gonna do.

Okay, but if she feels neglected

and starts, I don't know,
looking for comfort elsewhere,

in maybe a funnier, slightly
more desperate man in uniform,

don't say I didn't warn you.

You know, you should really take
this act on the road. All units,

we have a small house fire in
the block of willoughby.

Smoke inhalation, minor burns.

Feel like roasting
some marshmallows?

Hell, yes. Who's responding?

Dispatch, this is unit five.
We're on our way.

Hello.

Hello, Kitty. Have a seat.

Thank you.

I feel like I'm at the
principal's office.

Uh, I-I really am very sorry

that you had to find out
about Seth and me like this.

And I understand that
I have put the school

in a compromised position,

and if there is anything that I
could possibly do... Kitty, relax.

The fact that my son is
dating an attractive professor

probably enhanced our
reputation among applicants.

Oh, well...

Obviously, there's so
much to find at Wexley

in addition to an education.

I want you to know that
I'm making a statement

supporting you and Seth.

Really? Wow. Well, thank you.

I-I want you to know that
I do care about your son.

Well, Seth's years old.
He can date whomever he wants.

And I can certainly see why
he would be interested in you.

Thank you. But I have to admit,
I'm a little surprised

that you are interested in him.

Oh, well, he's... he's a great guy.

Yes, but... you had a
radio and television show.

You ran for the
United States senate.

You are a passionate,
ambitious woman.

And Seth, well, he's...

He's working on his master's.

Oh, yes, yes, yes,
for the past five years.

He's making a career of it.

I also hear that he is writing
short stories and a novel,

but... he still carries
a backpack, Kitty.

Well, actually,
it's a messenger bag.

But Seth works very hard...

Kitty, be honest.

Is Seth really someone you
see yourself with long-term?

I'm not willing to
discuss that with you,

and thank you very
much for the statement,

but for the record,

Seth and I are very
happy at the moment.

Well, I'm sure you are.

Nonetheless, I can't help but think

that the reason you're keeping
this relationship discreet

is not because of me or Wexley,

but because you know
you can do better.

I don't think that
continuing this conversation

is going to be particularly
productive, so...

Look, it's your life.
It's not mine.

You can make whatever
mistakes you want.

I just think I know
Seth better than you.

Maybe.

But for his sake,
I hope that's not true.

Excuse me.

And that's around the world.

I just kicked your ass.

All right, listen, whatever, cocky.

Let's not forget who won at horse.

Oh, please. I let you win that.

Didn't want to hurt
your manly pride.

Yeah, sure you did. Sure you did.

Well, how about this...
One sh*t, double or nothing,

and let's see how good you are
when you're being guarded?

Done.

Little bit different of
a ball game now, huh?

Really? Yeah.

I like a challenge. Get outta my way.
Let's go. Let's go.

Oh! Oh!

You made me miss that.

Yeah, you're right.

All right. Let's get a sandwich.

Lunch is over, rookie.

We have a call over
by the country club.

Uh, yeah, Dan, uh, I'm on my way.

I gotta go. Well,
you haven't even eaten yet.

Yeah. Welcome to my lunch breaks.

Look, grab a sandwich
and I'll call you later.

Wait a second.

What if I came with you?

What, on my job?

Yeah. I mean, nurses are

supposed to do ride-alongs
with paramedics once a year.

I was gonna do it next month,

but what if I went tonight
instead? Seriously?

Yeah. I mean, it's really
the only way I'm gonna get

a couple of straight
hours with you.

Uh... Annie, I don't...
I don't know if th...

Come on. I promise you,
I will not get in your way.

Scout's honor.

Okay.

Come here. I'll text you later.

And work on that hook sh*t.

Everything seems to be in order.

Excellent letters
of recommendation.

You indicated here
in your preferences

that you'd be willing
to consider any case,

regardless of gender, race, or age?

That's right. When we started this,

we were working with a
surrogate, and, um...

I don't know if it's because
that didn't work out,

but we're more interested
in being parents

rather than passing on our genes.

You're doing a great thing.

Okay, I know this is quick,

but there's an
adoption fair tomorrow,

if you guys are interested.

Uh, what's that?

It's an event where
potential parents

can meet and interact with children

who are looking to be
placed into families.

There are , kids in
foster care here in L.A.

I'll give you two a minute to talk.

Just let me know.

Thank you.

What? You... you look nervous.

No, no, no, no. I'm excited.

It's just, I... I don't know.

I thought... I guess I expected

we'd be getting a phone
call and a placement.

But n-now, what,
we have to meet a bunch of kids

and figure it out?

Well, I mean, you heard
what Jill said. , kids.

Exactly, so how do we
choose the right one?

Hey.

Hey. You know there are, uh,

still two guys out
there with cameras?

Ugh. I hope you ignored them.

Actually, I mooned them.
I so wish you did.

Hey, check out what I,
uh, brought Evan.

It's the hulk. Right?

Wow. That's really sweet.

I-I had no idea that you
still played with toys.

Well, it's more of a...

Collectible, really.

So...

What'd my mom say?

I told you. She was great.
Still don't believe you.

Seth, did you read the
statement that she released?

I mean, she was practically gushing.
Oh, no, no, no.

See, that was just to save
the honor of... of Wexley.

What did she say to you?

Because, you know,
sometimes, you have to... to

read between the lines to really
appreciate her guilt trip.

You know, she once told me

that she wasn't
making me feel guilty.

She was just helping me find
the guilt already within.

Sweet, huh? I'm sure that you have

a very complicated
relationship with her,

but with me, she was...
perfectly professional, right?

She was. You look hot, by the way.

Well, thank you.
Thank you. So... so do...

Uh, you know,
I've never been to Phoenix.

Oh.

Uh, that's a... that's a band.

Oh. Oh, right.

Right. Sorry.

So, you know, I was
actually thinking that, um,

maybe we shouldn't go tonight.

I mean, between Karl's
psychiatry talk,

and Kevin's lawyer talk,

and my mother and Scotty
exchanging recipes,

it's just, it's... it's...
it's... it's snorefest.

Are you... are you
trying to get out of it?

No. No. I just...

Have you really been going to
grad school for five years?

Oh. See? She did say something.

No, she didn't.
I was just wondering

because it actually does
seem like a very long time.

Look, I haven't
finished my thesis yet,

and I told you, I've been
working on this novel.

And... and if either of you

have a problem with that then...
You know what?

Don't put your mother
and me on the same team,

because I actually think that
your priorities are great.

Great. She got to you.
No, she didn't.

In fact, I-I stood up for you.

Really?

Really.

So can you please
stop being paranoid?

And can we go?
Because we're gonna be late.

Look...

Kitty, I mean...

I've got my keys, so...

I am so glad you're here.

This is gonna be so much fun,

so much better than any old take...

Ooh. There is my pie.
Pie?

What pie?

Well, it's...
it's not a pupu platter,

but... I wanted
everything to be nice.

Nora, why are there
six place settings

in the dining room?

Well...

That would be for Kevin and Scotty

and Kitty and Seth.

And Seth. He's the...
the college student

that Kitty's seeing, right?

He's the graduate
student that Kitty is...

You met him, remember?
Yeah, I do remember him.

I just don't remember inviting him

to dinner tonight. No. No.
I-I-I did that. Just...

They're going through so much,
and I thought it would be...

You thought you'd just bring
the storm to us, right?

Karl, she is my daughter.

Yes, and Kevin is your son,
yes, but...

Look, if it all gets
to be too much for you,

we can just go off by ourselves and watch
"Antiques Roadshow"...

no, no, no. No,
I don't want you to think

that I'm obsessed with that show,

it's just that I thought tonight...
That tonight...

It was just the two of us.

I know. I...

Look, I want you to feel
a part of my family.

You haven't seen
them since Christmas.

Right.

I don't know. I-I just...

I felt so proud,
being with you today

at the book signing.

Nora.

You know...

I could call them and
tell them not to come.

No, no. Tonight's fine.

Obviously, I'm too
much of a control freak

to have, uh,
had my own children, so...

The least I can do

is to learn to be
friends with yours.

Thank you.

You're welcome. Mwah.

Thank you. Mm.

I still can't believe that woman

made us come to her house
to change her tv channel.

Some emergency. Yeah, well,
what about the chick

who was choking on
the mozzarella stick?

Oh, yeah. Hey, hey,
those things are death traps.

We got a car crash at
hill and orange grove.

Who's responding? Hey, we're
just a few blocks from there.

Dispatch, this is unit five.
We're on our way.

Unit five, be advised,
there are possible fatalities.


Michael. Michael.

Okay, let's prep to extricate.

It's gonna be okay.
It's gonna be fine.

Please. My husband.
Please help him.

Sure. Are... are you okay?

My shoulder... it's from
the seat belt. It's okay.

But please just help him.
All right.

I've got her. You got him, rookie?

I got him. I'll go with you.

All right, what's going on?

Yeah, he's pinned under
the steering wheel.

We're gonna have to cut him out.
All right, sir. How you doing?

Can you hear me? Can you get his head?
Leah, my wife...

Is she okay? Oh, she's great.
She's great.

She's looking really good.
Annie, you just saw her, right?

Yeah, she's gonna be just fine.
Oh, God. Oh.

You gave her a little scare,
getting stuck in here.

His breathing is labored.

Let's get him some o-
and ready for transport.

Got it. All right.
What's your name?

Michael.

Mariah? That's weird.
No, I'm kidding Michael.

My name's Justin.

Justin.

Karl had the most wonderful
book signing today.

It was like Robert
Redford came to town.

Oh, which one's Robert Redford?

Oh, Butch Cassidy, Sundance Kid.

"The Way We Were,"
Barbra Streisand. Mm.

Don't tell me you don't know
who Barbra Streisand is.

Uh, news flash.
He's straight, Kevin.

No, no, no, um,
"The Way We Were," right.

My mom, uh, my mom
loves Barbra Streisand.

Oh. How's she doing,
your mother? Oh, she's not happy.

Oh, she was actually quite lovely.

Which one is it?

Karl, you like Barbra Streisand,
too, don't you?

Yes.

Karl, what's your book called?

"The Empowered Unconscious."

Oh. It's about using your
past to really guide you...

I'm sure they're not interested

in my little self-help book, Nora.

Self-help? No, I would
write a self-help book.

But it's quite brilliant,

and filled with these
wonderful little...

Uh, this chicken is delicious.

Thank you.

Mom can make roast chicken
like peanut butter and jelly.

She can do it in her sleep.

Well, uh, I've been having
a lot of pb&js these days,

and let me tell you,
this is a lot better.

Well, Seth,
you can come over anytime.

I would be delighted
to make you... No,

no, mom. Mom,
he's just... he's just joking.

He doesn't have that many pb&js.

He eats a lot of food.
He likes a lot of food.

He likes, um,
you like sushi, right?

Um, yeah, yeah. I-I like sushi.

Um, it's expensive, so I can't,

uh... How is the
adoption going, guys?

Fine. It's great.
Well, actually, we are thinking

about going to an
adoption fair tomorrow.

What's an adoption fair?
Why don't you tell 'em, Scotty?

Well, uh, it's a fair
where prospective parents

get to meet with
kids that need homes.

Yeah, about , descending
on you at the same time,

because that makes it so much

easier to bond with...
Stop being so dramatic.

I'm not. I'm sorry.
I just find the whole thing weird.

And I can't imagine
how it feels for them.

They must feel like
they're being sold,

like puppies in a window.
Kevin, there's no need to shout.

I'm not shouting. Karl, have

you ever done any studies
about foster adoptions?

Mnh-mnh.

Well, maybe you could do one

on the children who
don't get picked.

I'm sure that would
be a happy ending.

Kevin, it's a way
for people like us

to get introduced to kids
that are stuck in the system.

Come on. Let's... let's just
talk about something else.

Would anyone like
some more chicken?

Oh, God, no. Thanks.

Yeah. I'd love some. Finally.
Someone with an appetite.

Well, he has been living on pb&js,

mom. He has not been
living on pb&js, Kevin.

Well, you know,
that and ramen noodles, right?

Uh, I'm... I'm kidding.

My parents live near Phoenix.

Hmm? Your...

Oh. Uh, no. It's, um, it's a band.

Kitty didn't know either.

No, Kitty didn't know either.

Well, you both have very
different cultural references.

Mom, he's not in high school.
Not according to the bloggers.

All right. You know what,
Kevin? Fine.

You've been waiting all night.
Let the jokes begin.

Seth, I swear,
she invited me tonight.

Kevin. What?

You know, this has
been a lovely dinner.

But it's getting late, so...
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

You can't leave. I made a pie. Pie.

Great.

Right. Well, I should probably
stay for some pie, then.

All right, ready for transport.

Michael, honey.

What's... what's happening? Look,
everything's gonna be okay.

We just have to get your
husband to the hospital.

Leah, the firemen will take you.
You'll be right behind us, okay?

I want to come with him. Okay,

leah, listen to me.
Michael's gonna be fine,

but I need to work on him,
so I can't have you in the truck.

He's gonna be fine? You promise?

I promise.

Okay, write this down.

His, uh, respiration
rate is and shallow,

B.P. is over palp,

and his heart rate is tachy at .
How far out are we?

Three minutes away.

O- and fluids aren't helping.
He's pale and diaphoretic.

Justin, you promised that woman.
Are you sure?

I'm sure. I'm sure. I'm sure.

His lung is collapsed.
We can fix it.

How do you know?

I just know. I've done
this a hundred times.

We're losing him.

Okay, all right, I just
need to reinflate his lung.

Here? Yep, here,
so cut his shirt open.

Okay, how you doing? Almost there.

Almost there? Okay.

Got it. Okay.

All right, I'm just
gonna stick the needle

between these two ribs,
right... right here.

His lung is reinflated.

He's gonna be okay.
Yeah, he's gonna be okay.

So would anyone like some more pie?

Mnh-mnh. Oh, mnh-mnh.

No, thanks. I'd love some.

Well, good. You know,
we could put some in tupperware

and you could take
it home if you want.

You know, Kevin, just because
you always have to diet

doesn't mean that you
should make fun of people

who have a higher metabolism
than you do. Children.

Children?

Karl, do you have any children? No.

So, Seth...

How is school?

Oh, no, no, no. No, no,
he's not just in school, mom.

He... he's a writer.
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I'm working on a novel,
uh, right now.

And he's also working
on some short stories.

Mm-hmm. Oh, have you
been published, Seth?

No, I... Well, no, no,
he hasn't been published.

I mean, let's talk about it.
How hard is it to get published

in this day and age? Well,
you did it, Karl did it, so...

Well, yes, Karl, but he's...
he's older and more established.

You know, you don't have
to make excuses for me.

I'm not making excuses for you.

You've been answering questions
for me all night long.

A-are you afraid that I'm

gonna embarrass you or...
Well, not until now.

Have you ever even read the
short story that I gave you

weeks ago, huh?

No. That's what I thought.
Unbelievable.

Well, as I said before,

I think it's time for me to go.

No, no, no, Karl, sit down.
Sit down. Sit down.

We have talked enough about
other people's problems.

Let's... let's talk about your book.

I know sometimes you have to
shout to be heard around here.

Well, you know, the problem is,
is I don't want to shout.

Frankly, this entire
meal feels like

a group therapy session to me,
and usually those come

in -minute increments.

You said you wanted to
get to know my children.

You said you were a control freak...
Oh, for God sake, Nora.

I told you that in confidence,

not so you could broadcast it
to an entire room full of...

A room of... of what, strangers?

Karl, these are not strangers.

I'm feeling very
uncomfortable right now,

so... good night.

Let's go. Let's get him out here.

Let's go. Let's go. Come on.

His vitals normalized

after we did a needle
decompression in transit.

Wow.

Wow.

Well, that was definitely

more serious than the cheese lady.

Yeah.

You know, you're really
amazing at this, Justin.

I mean it.

Look, Annie, I know it's
a lot with me in the rig

and all the time...

No, no, it's... it's fine. Seriously.

This is who you are,
and I'm okay with that.

As long as we don't have to go
out on another call tonight.

Oh, no way. Thank God.

Are you...
What, do you think I'm crazy?

I've been out since
: in the morning.

Well, I mean, I could come over

and maybe make you some dinner.

You deserve to have someone

take care of you for
a while, Justin.

That sounds really great.

They're all so cute.
Why are they so cute?

Kevin, you said if you came,
you would just try to be...

I-I know. Okay, okay.

But it's just...
I don't know where to begin.

Well, we'll just be ourselves.

Remember what Jill said.
See who we connect with.

Connect with? What,
is this speed dating?

I'm sorry, Scotty.
I don't think I can do this. Kev...

Hey, are you guys here for the fair?
Yeah.

Cool. I'm Olivia. And I can
show you around if you want.

Oh, that would... that'd be great.

Um, I'm Scotty,
and this is my husband Kevin.

No way. You guys are gay?

Kidding.

So here's the deal...
a couple of the younger kids,

they're really shy when
it comes to these events.

So, like, I was thinking,
maybe it would be okay

if I introduce you to them.

That'd be great.

Yeah. That would be great.

Nice. Come on.

Oh. Oh, wow.

Oh, Judy.

Look, keep your chin up.

Let me know how it turns out, okay?

Uh, we have time for
one more caller.

I'm going to take
"Antiques Lover from Los Angeles."

Good morning.

Is that the only name
you're gonna give us?

Yeah, I'd like to, uh,
remain anonymous

if you don't mind.

Oh. Okay.

All right. Fine.

Fine, so, uh...

What would you like to talk about,
chandeliers?

Um, did you find some
pottery at a garage sale?

No, actually,
I'd... I'd like some advice.

I made a, uh, terrible
fool of myself last night

at my girlfriend's house.

I-I embarrassed myself

in front of her entire family.

Oh, well, I'm...

I'm... I'm... I'm sure it
wasn't that bad. Was it?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. It definitely...
It was a bit of a tantrum.

And, uh, anyway, my question is...

How do I make it up to her?

I don't... I don't think
the real question is,

how do you make it up to her?

I think the question is,

why were you so uncomfortable
in the first place?

I mean, what caused the tantrum,
as you put it?

Well, let's just say that, um, uh,

the dinner conversation last night

was a little too personal
for my taste. That's all.

Too personal? How is it too pers...

You could just give
us some examples

for the listeners to understand.

Well, for starters, her family
feels that it's appropriate

to share every last detail of
their lives with each other,

with no regard for their
guests' sensibilities

and boundaries.

Really? Mm-hmm.

Well, don't you think,
as the guest,

maybe it was up to you to
adjust to their dynamic

rather than the other way around?

Uh...

What if I can't?

Oh.

Oh.

Listen, um, antiques lover,

I-I hate to say this,

but it sounds to me like
you and your girlfriend

are just...

Not a good match.

Oh, that's a little drastic.
Don't you think?

Look, sometimes,
two perfectly good people

just don't fit together.

You mean change...

Especially antiques.

So...

You think we should just break up?

Yes.

I'm sorry, yes.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, too.

So we're gonna take a short break.

Um, stick with us, okay?

You do realize it's : , right?

You do realize I do have days off?

I'm just checking.
Why, is there a problem?

You got somewhere to be,
somewhere you want to go?

No, it's my day off, too.

So what do you want to do?

You don't mind if we do something

that doesn't involve
an emergency, do you?

No. Oh, bowling.
We should go bowling.

I don't know about bowling.

Hmm. You know what?

I don't... I don't want you to think

that I need something
from you, okay?

I mean, I've got a busy schedule...
No, okay, Annie...

And I-I've got things.

Annie, Annie, look...

I'm really glad you
were there last night.

Me, too.

No, I mean, I'm...

I'm glad you were there
to see me do my job...

Which can only mean one thing.

What's that?

I really care about you, Annie.

Justin, you don't...

You don't have to
just say that if you...

No one's twisting my arm.
Will you just listen?

Yes.

I've been trying to move forward

for a long time.

And I-I feel like I don't
have time for anything,

but... after last night,

I think that I...

Need to reconsider that.

Well, I know there's only so
many hours in a day, Justin.

Yeah, but it's how you arrange 'em.

And it's what you do with 'em.

And I'm not some... -to- guy,

but...

I really want to make this
relationship work, Annie.

You've never called it
a relationship before.

Yeah. Well... I just did.

What? You... you laughed.
What's so funny?

Would you... Seth.

Stop it. Stop it.
I'm... I'm almost finished.

Ah. You said you
were a fast reader.

Ju... No, no, shush.

Okay. I'm finished.

Okay, good. Can we...
can we go to lunch now?

Would you just sit down, please?

God. Okay, okay.

All right. Hit me.

Okay. Okay.

So, um, what exactly is
this story really about?

Um... well, you know,

it's... it's, um,
it's about a painter.

Mm-hmm. It's kind of a
retrospective of her life's work.

She's accomplished,
she's powerful... you know?

Right. She's...
she's all these things

that seem very impressive,

but then she goes to
this little crappy diner,

and she's... she's all alone
and she's still in her gown,

and... and she has this very
meaningful conversation

with a waitress,

right?

Uh... uh-huh.

And the reason that we love her

is not because of all
her accomplishments.

It's because of her... her...

Vulnerability.

Is that right?

Uh, what are you...
What are you saying?

Well... I-I was just wondering

if by any chance

I was the painter.

Well, yeah. I mean, I don't...

Maybe... maybe you were,
um, an inspiration.

She's . Well, she's...

She's a... she's a painter.
She's a character.

She's an old character.

Well, she's... in a story...

She's old.

Kitty, people are, uh,
people are looking.

I don't care.

You don't?

Mnh-mnh.

I love your story.

Well, if there's somebody that
you made a connection with,

you can fill out the
child's name on this list.

It's a preferential.

You rank the kids in order

of the top five that
you're interested in,

and we have them do the same,

and if there's a match,
then we'll take it from there.

Wow. It's... it's like
a fraternity rush.

Take your time. Thank you.

Thanks.

So this is it?

I don't know how we're
supposed to choose.

Are you guys leaving?

Yeah. Cool.

I just wanted to say, it was
really nice to meet you guys.

Oh, thank you. That's so sweet.

Okay. Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

I think she just chose us.
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