02x24 - Feed the Kitty

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Gilligan's Island". Aired: September 26, 1964 – April 17, 1967.*
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Series follows the comic adventures of seven castaways as they try to survive on an island where they are shipwrecked.
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02x24 - Feed the Kitty

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Just sit right back, and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ A tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ That started from this tropic port ♪

♪ Aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ The mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ The skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ Passengers set sail that day for a -hour tour ♪

♪ A -hour tour ♪

[Thunder]

♪ The weather started getting rough ♪

♪ The tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ If not for the courage of the fearless crew ♪

♪ The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ The ship set ground on the shore of this ♪

♪ Uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ With gilligan ♪

♪ The skipper, too ♪

♪ The millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ The movie star ♪

♪ The professor and mary ann ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪

Gilligan: skipper!

Skipper!

Skipper! Skipper!

Skipper! Skipper!

All right, what scared you this time?

Did it fly?

Did it crawl?

It jumped?

It roared. It was a lion.

You saw a lion?

No, I didn't see him, skipper.

I heard him. He roared.

Rahhhrrr!

Gilligan, would you stop that?!

For goodness sakes, gilligan, what you heard was me,

Sawing this wood from this crate that washed ashore.

I did? Listen.

[Roar]

What was that?

That was an echo. Now, will you go pick bananas?

I'd rather stay here and help you pick wood.

Hey, skipper, there's writing on this wood.

So, there's writing on the board.

Look! "From harris expedition..."

"To singapore zoo"!

"Felis leo"?

Yeah, from harris expedition to singapore zoo.

Felis... What's a felis leo?

What are you gentlemen doing...

Making a jigsaw puzzle?

Hello, professor.

No, we were just putting together

The printing from this crate that I found in the lagoon.

Professor, what's a felis leo?

Well, it's the zoological classification for lion.

Oh, well, there must have been a lion in this crate.

[Roar]

Will you get out of the way!

[Roaring]

Oh! Eh!

Onward!

Gilligan, will you stop dragging your feet

While we're on safari?

I'm sorry, skipper.

If we don't get a move on, we'll never catch this lion.

This looks like something.

Gilligan, will you lead off?

Go on, move out! Go ahead! Move!

What do you think it is?

Ow!

The lion! Run for your lives!

Gilligan, for goodness sakes,

That was mr. Howell roaring.

Why don't you go back to camp and stay with the women?

If I go back to camp, the girls will think I'm a coward.

Besides, you guys know I'm not afraid of any old lion.

All they are are fur and bones and muscles

And long claws and big white fangs

With big white teeth and... I'm meet you back in camp.

Oh, I try to teach that boy,

But it just doesn't work out.

Well, don't be too hard on the boy.

Some men just can't face up to the king of the beasts.

Now, look, let's get on with it.

That lion could be anywhere.

Behind that tree or crouched behind that rock.

You don't think it is, do you?

Mr. Howell, animals can smell fear,

So I suggest you get ahold of yourself.

Say, come to think of it,

Gilligan's scared, and he's all alone.

Well, if you're concerned about him...

Well, I'd better go back to camp and see that he's safe.

Here, I'll catch up with you fellas later, huh?

Gilligan! Gilligan!

It's no use, mr. Howell.

We can't handle this alone.

Yes, this equipment is sort of bulky, too.

I'd better get the skipper back here.

Yes, right, you do that.

Uh... Do you mind?

I travel better light.

Yes, napoleon said that, I think.

G-gilligan?

W-was that you, little buddy?

Or was it the... Yaaagh!

Well, I might as well make myself comfortable.

I mean, after all, what can I do alone?

[Rustling in bushes]

Alone!

Aah! Aah!

Look out! Look out!

He's got me! A green lion!

I give up. I give up.

[Out of breath] gilligan!

The lion's right behind me!

Hurry! Hurry! He's right behind me!

Run for your life! He's in front of me!

I was in front of you!

Where? Oh!

Then you must have been in back of me.

Then you must have been in back of me!

[All talking at once]

Gentlemen, please! This is ridiculous.

Now, it's up to us to catch that lion,

Safeguard the island, and protect the women.

We can't go running, flying helter-skelter

Every time a twig snaps.

[Roar]

Oh, isn't it awful the way women have to sit and worry

And wait until the men decide to show up.

Usually I don't have to wait very long.

[Sneezes]

Bless you, mrs. Howell.

Gee, I hope you're not catching a cold.

A howell catch cold?

Oh, really, darling!

Must be my allergy.

Allergy to what?

To cats, my dear.

They always make me... Make me...

Cats? I haven't seen any cats on the island.

Have you, ginger?

Cats? No.

Catfish, yes.

Good gracious, I never thought of that.

Catfish?

No, but couldn't a lion be considered

A member of the cat family?

A lion? Well, I suppose so.

Oh. Well, then he's been making me sneeze.

Aah! Aah!

Oh!

[Screaming]

[Roar]

Aah! Aah!

Aah!

Oh, no! Oh, not now!

Not now!

Ah... Ah...

Ah-choo!

[Roars]

Let's block the door.

Oh, ginger, let's do the table first. Ok.

Hurry, hurry.

Help us, mrs. Howell! We'll trap him inside.

Get a chair.

Oh, dear, he'll eat up all my furs!

Mrs. Howell, how can you think of furs at a time like this?

Oh, well, that's true. How silly of me.

They're all insured, anyway.

Let's go tell the men what we've done!

Oh, thurston will be so proud of me!

Oh, I'll bet we're of the bravest girls in all the world.

Fearless, lion-hearted... [Roar]

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Chicken-hearted, too!

Ginger, mary ann?

It's me, gilligan.

Don't be scared.

Where is everybody?

Anybody?

Oh, no! Not all of them!

Mrs. Howell!

Hey, mrs. Howell!

Huh.

Mrs. Howell!

Mrs. Howell?

[Roar]

Stay out there, lion!

The window!

If he gets through there, he's gonna have to find me.

Right?

[Snarling]

All right, I give up.

Come and get me.

Don't play with me like a mouse.

Come on, get it over with!

Well, what are you waiting for?

Something wrong?

Oh, look at that. A thorn.

Want me to pull it out, huh?

Then we can be pals, just like in the story.

You read it?

I hope you read it.

Here goes. Now, be a nice lion, huh?

[Growl]

And then we barricaded him in our hut.

That's wonderful, ladies!

Let's go back and capture that lion!

We'll set a trap by the door for when he comes out.

Smashing idea!

Are you ready?

Yes. Yes.

Ta-da!

Here he comes now!

Good work! Wonderful, skipper!

You did it! You scored him!

Gilligan? Gilligan!

Where's the lion?

Oh, he's in there. I'll go get him.

Wait! Little buddy!

[Roar]

Skipper!

You don't have to be afraid.

We're pals.

You see? He wants to make friends with you.

I don't like the way he's looking at me.

[Roar]

I don't like the way he's looking at me, either.

Thurston, he's looking at me.

And he's licking his chops!

[Roars]

Mary ann, ginger, don't be afraid.

But he's drooling!

Oh, he's drooling!

[Roars]

Gilligan, that lion belongs in a cage!

How can I put my pal in jail? He loves me.

Well, gilligan, he doesn't love us.

Now, you can't stay around here with that lion.

Ok, then I'll take him away.

Now take him away!

Away? How far can you go on an island?

You'd rather stay with us than go with the lion, wouldn't you, gilligan?

Yes, but I don't want him in a cage.

Gilligan, make up your mind.

It's either the lion or us.

Hurry, before I break out in hives!

Ah-choo!

Come on, leo. We might as well go.

Come on, leo. Come on.

Well, what do you know? He chose the lion!

I wonder how long it'll be before the lion chooses him.

Come on, leo. Be good boy.

Come on, leo.

Stay!

Here you go. That's a good boy.

Now, eat your lunch like a good lion.

That's a good boy! Yeah!

[Roars]

I sure am glad you're still talking to me.

I just brought you your lunch.

Thanks, mr. Howell.

Don't thank me. We drew straws, and I lost.

Wait, mr. Howell, please.

Leo's learned some new tricks.

You'll be the first one to see them.

Maybe the last, too.

No, mr. Howell, wait!

He'll be awful disappointed.

He's begging for you to stay and see his tricks.

Yes, well, charity begins at home,

And that's just where I'm going.

[Roars]

Gilligan, gilligan! Stop him! Stop him!

Um, stay, stay, stay!

Get down! Get down! Get down!

Wait'll you see this one! Play dead! Play dead!

Play dead.

Not you, mr. Howell!

Hello, professor.

Oh, ginger, have you seen mr. Howell?

No. Has anything gone wrong?

Well, he went to take lunch to gilligan,

But he hasn't come back yet.

Oh, heavens, you don't think that something awful...

Oh, no, don't jump to conclusions.

I'm sure we would have heard something.

Like a burp?

Ok, leo, say thank you.

[Roars "thank you"]

I reward him with this canned corned beef.

You mean he learned that from a can of corned beef?

Wonder what he'd do for a pheasant under glass?

I taught him a lot of tricks, mr. Howell.

I don't suppose you taught him to become a vegetarian?

I bet he could be the star of a circus right now!

Mr. Howell, how about putting the money up

After we get rescued from the island?

Gilligan, do you realize how much money a circus would cost?

And I don't intend to spend a fortune

Just to satisfy some foolish whim.

[Roars]

Hold on! Hold on there!

I just heard from my board of directors.

You'd be surprised how cheaply it can be done!

Thurston howell's circus!

Oh, I'm very touched, my boy!

And my star attraction will be you and your lion!

You hear that, leo?

[Roars]

Egad, it might be fun, at that!

Just think: the big top, the center ring,

A fanfare of trumpets!

Yeah, and a whip and a chair!

And a spotlight stabbing the darkness!

Yeah, and a p*stol and a flaming hoop!

Howell-howell shows presents...

Gilligan, the world-famous lion tamer!

Direct from a command performance in london...

[Roar]

Leo. He's gone.

We'd better find him.

We'd better find him, or we won't find anybody.

You keep away from me, you hear?

I mean it, leo.

You keep your dirty paws off me!

One more step, and I'm gonna scream.

I'm gonna scream!

Oh, gilligan! Save me!

Down, leo, down!

[Contented roar]

Gilligan, thank you. You saved my life.

You don't have to be afraid. He likes girls.

Yeah, for dessert.

Did he like mr. Howell?

He loved him.

Ohh... Poor mr. Howell!

If only you'd left him in a cage like you should have.

What are you talking about?

Oh, gilligan, you're worse than nero!

You throw your friends to the lions.

No, ginger, he's gonna put us in his circus.

Circus?

You're looking at the star of howell's show of shows.

You?

Yeah, you wouldn't look bad in tights yourself.

After all, the big top is show biz.

Say... Say, you're right.

Why don't you talk to mr. Howell?

He's the ringmaster. You should hear him.

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing...

Ginger, queen of the high wire!

And gilligan, world-famous lion tamer!

[Roars]

I guess he's mad because we left him out.

Thurston, darling, don't you think

A circus is rather provincial?

On the contrary,

We'll play before the crowned heads of europe, my dear.

Oh, well, if that's the case,

Then I want to be in the show myself.

Well, darling, what are you doing with my eyebrow pencil?

Ha ha! I am making myself

Dashing and debonair!

How is that?

Oh, mr. Howell! You look dashing and debonair!

Well, you look d and d, yourself!

Oh, it's my new high-wire outfit. Do you like it?

It packs plenty of voltage.

I think it's rather shocking myself.

I guess I'd better go practice.

I've gotta lose part of my wiggle

So I can stay on that tightrope.

By george, that's a wiggle.

Thank you.

Thurston, do you remember

That marvelous countess from luxembourg

With those wonderful lipizzaners in the horse show?

Lovey, you don't mean that you...

How do I look?

Equestrian enough?


Horsey, absolutely horsey, my dear.

Come on, leo.

Get up on that tub before I run out of corned beef.

We'll do the trick with the chair, ok?

Here we go.

Uh-oh, I'm running out of corned beef.

What am I gonna feed you?

I don't have any more cans.

I don't like that look in your eye.

Here, have all of this. Have it all.

Every bit of it.

Go ahead, just eat out of the whole can.

You can have the whole can.

You can eat the can if you want to.

Professor, my washtub is gone.

Well, I think gilligan's using it for his lion.

He's not giving that animal a bath, is he?

No, he's using it for a perch in his lion tamer's act.

He's going to be the star of the circus.

Star of a circus? Gilligan?

Well, being close friends with the king of beasts

Makes him the prime minister.

So he gets what he wants.

A circus?

Yes, the howell show of shows.

Mrs. Howell wanted me to make her this whip.

Ha! Ho!

What does the skipper say about all this?

I don't think he knows.

He's been pretty busy.

Wait'll he hears.

Gilligan! Gilligan!

Hi, skipper.

Gi... Oh, hi, mary ann.

Where is gilligan?

Now, he took some of my planks, and I need 'em.

Oh, he's over there. He took my washtub, too.

He's using it for his circus act.

For his what? His circus act?

His circus act. Gilligan's.

Oh, I'm gonna go over there

And straighten that boy out.

Oh, skipper, I wouldn't do anything rash.

I'm not gonna do anything rash, mary ann.

I just want my planks back.

I'm fed up with gilligan and his ideas.

Oh, well, you just better make sure

His friend doesn't get fed up with you,

If you know what I mean.

Uh, I see what you mean.

Good boy! Good boy!

Good boy! Attaboy!

[Roars]

Gilligan?

Did you see that, skipper?

Yes, I saw it.

B-but, gilligan, mary ann wants her tub back

Because she wants to do some laundry,

And I want my planks.

Well, what about the circus?

Gilligan, you and that lion have caused enough trouble already!

Skipper, you just don't understand.

I mean, everybody's gonna be in it.

You can be in it, too.

Me?

Sure, you could be a clown or something.

Oh, gilligan, there's enough clowns on this island now

Without that, for goodness sake.

I want my planks back!

He thinks you're mad at me.

Tell him that we've been buddies

For a long time, little buddy.

Yeah, well, I know it, but he doesn't.

Well, tell him that I'm the skipper,

And that I'm used to giving commands.

[Roars]

Skipper?

Oh!

Hi, mary ann.

Oh, what in the world are you trying to do?

Believe it or not, I'm trying to learn how to juggle.

But I just don't seem to get the hang of it.

Oh, I know. Gilligan wants me in his circus act, too.

Hey, maybe we could do an act together!

Oh, like what?

We'll have a hatchet-throwing act.

You can be my assistant.

Oh, all right!

Are you very good at it?

Well, I couldn't be any worse at that

Than I am at juggling.

Uh-oh. No more corned beef. [Roars]

Just keep talking.

I'll be right back.

Hey, skipper?

Yes, gi... Ooh!

Sorry.

Look what you made me do.

I'm sorry, but you've gotta help me find

The extra case of corned beef.

What extra case of corned beef?

There is no extra case.

Well, how am I gonna train leo?

I'm all out of cans, and he's asking for more.

Loud.

Uh, professor, we've got to build a cage quickly.

Gilligan's run out of food for his lion.

But there's a lot of other food on the island.

There's coconuts, berries, and bananas...

And us!

Now, he's right, gilligan.

There's no time left for arguing.

We've gotta cage that lion.

No!

Ow!

Gilligan!

Look at this mess!

I'll clean it up, and maybe the island will get back to normal.

[Growling]

Aah!

Ah! Ah! Gilligan!

T-the lion!

Hey, leo!

Hey, leo!

Where you hiding?

Leo!

I've been looking all over for you.

Here you are, huh?

Skipper: who's there?

It's me, gilligan.

What's the matter? You need glasses or something?

Let me out!

You're not in a cage yet.

We'll think of something.

Gilligan.

Yeah, leo?

When did you learn how to talk?

It's not him, it's me, skipper.

Where are you?

In here!

Oh, no.

You wouldn't.

You couldn't.

Well, are you gonna get me out?

I don't know how.

Can you breathe?

It's not easy.

Besides, it's cramped and dark in here.

I'll bet it is.

I should have listened. They all told me.

It's all my fault, skipper.

Oh, poor skipper.

It's all my fault.

Why didn't I listen?

Gilligan, hurry up!

I'm trying, skipper.

I... Help!

Somebody help! Help!

Oh... Help.

Hey, leo, come back! Bring him back!

Bring him back, leo!

Help, somebody.

Gilligan, my boy, what's the trouble?

Oh, it's terrible, mr. Howell, just terrible.

The lion swallowed my pal.

He just swallowed my buddy.

Oh, you're just imagining things, my boy.

That's right, gilligan.

You see, mr. Howell, I still can hear his voice.

I know you can.

Look, and I can even see him!

It's a... Skipper?

Gilligan, little buddy,

You don't have to sleep out here anymore.

You can come home!

Look at poor leo, skipper.

King of the beasts, and he's a jailbird.

Well, you had to do it, little buddy.

After all I've done to him, he still loves me.

Gilligan, I don't know whether

He's kissing you or tasting you.

I'll come back to camp as soon as he falls asleep.

You come along now, little buddy! Now!

And I scraped the bottom of all the corned beef cans.

I got this plate of food for leo.

Yes, I know, gilligan.

Well, you better start swimming if you want to feed that lion!

Huh?

Leo! Leo! There he goes!

Raft and all!

The tide, gilligan.

The tide must've come in last night

And taken him right off the beach.

He's heading straight for hawaii!

Well, you can relax now, little buddy.

He'll be safe.

Yeah, and there goes our circus!

Yeah, I guess I learned how to be an expert juggler all for nothing.

Aw, come on, skipper. You didn't get to be a good juggler at all!

Oh, yeah?

You watch this.

Watch this, gilligan.

I'd have sworn I had coconuts.

Radio: and now here's an oddity in the news.

A united states destroyer reports it has just rescued

A full-grown nubian lion, floating in a crate

Thousands of miles from any known land.

Surprisingly enough, the animal was in good shape,

Though he did consume pounds of corned beef.

There now, gilligan, are you satisfied?

Will you please go to sleep?

Yeah, but... Now what's the matter?

What am I gonna do with this whole plate of corned beef?

[Roars]

♪ Now this is the tale of our castaways ♪

♪ They're here for a long, long time ♪

♪ They'll have to make the best of things ♪

♪ It's an uphill climb ♪

♪ The first mate and his skipper, too ♪

♪ Will do their very best ♪

♪ To make the others comfortable ♪

♪ In the tropic island nest ♪

No phone... No lights...

♪ No motorcars, not a single luxury ♪

♪ Like robinson crusoe ♪

♪ It's primitive as can be ♪

♪ So join us here each week, my friends ♪

♪ You're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ From stranded castaways ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪
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