02x30 - 'V' for Vitamins

[bunniefuu]

♪ Just sit right back, and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ A tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ That started from this tropic port ♪

♪ Aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ The mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ The skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ Passengers set sail that day for a -hour tour ♪

♪ A -hour tour ♪

[Thunder]

♪ The weather started getting rough ♪

♪ The tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ If not for the courage of the fearless crew ♪

♪ The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ The ship's aground on the shore of this ♪

♪ Uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ With gilligan ♪

♪ The skipper, too ♪

♪ The millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ The movie star ♪

♪ The professor and mary ann ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪

Please, ginger. Now, not too much off the top.

Just a little bit more, skipper.

Well, I believe you're part indian.

You're trying to scalp me.

Well, you're a sailor,

And sailors should have crewcuts.

Well, I don't mind a crewcut, but...

You're trying to remove the entire crew.

All finished, skipper.

Got time for me, sam?

Uh, tomorrow morning at : .

Thanks.

Sam?

Oh! That's the name of his barber back home.

Oh, gilligan, don't put that there.

Somebody'll trip over it.

Sorry, baldy.

Baldy!

Oh, very funny.

Whoop!

You're right. Somebody tripped over it.

I'll get it for you, skipper.

Here.

Anything else you want me to do?

Uh, y-yes, gilligan.

Go out and get some more firewood.

Ok.

Ah, that's just what I was looking for.

Thanks.

Cough.

[Coughing]

Well, your heart seems sound enough.

Perhaps it's your blood pressure.

Any luck, professor?

Well, at least I know

It's not his heart or his lungs.

I think it's his haircut.

Oh, don't pay any attention to him, professor.

Skipper, this is my hair tonic.

Rub it in your hair times a day.

When your hair gets real long, you see, you get...

Thanks a lot, gilligan, but no thanks.

Skipper, your blood pressure is very high.

Well, no wonder, with him around here.

Gilligan, perhaps you'd better leave.

No. I want to stay and watch.

Well, I'm going to make a blood test and, uh...

The sight of blood won't disturb you, will it?

Are you kidding? Think I'm chicken?

Here, skipper. Give me your arm.

Oh!

[Clucking like a chicken]

[Grunts]

Professor: skipper.

Skipper, I got the results of the tests.

And?

Well, I'm afraid it's worse than I thought.

Tell me the worst.

Well, the lack of citrus fruits in our diet

Has caused a severe vitamin deficiency.

Vitamin c is completely lacking.

Well, fortunately, we howells never use the stuff.

We depend on bottled in bond for our strength.

Mr. Howell, this applies to each and every one of us.

However, the skipper being the largest...

You mean the fattest.

I know what he means, howell.

Gentlemen, gentlemen, there is no time for that.

Now, without citrus fruits,

This vitamin deficiency will att*ck each of us.

Even a howell?

Yes, even a howell.

It will att*ck each of us in turn according to his size.

Good heavens! That means I'm the next.

Myself, and then gilligan.

W-w-what about the girls? Will it affect them?

Yes. Mrs. Howell, and ginger,

And then finally mary ann.

But don't panic, gentlemen.

We're not dead yet.

Well, maybe not,

But we're definitely headed in that direction.

Hi, girls.

Hi, gilligan. We're trying out one of our new dishes.

Do you want a bite?

Oh, no. Not for me. Nothing. No siree.

I don't believe it.

The world's coming to an end.

How did you find out?

How did we find out what?

About our world coming to an end...

With no vitamins

On account of the citrus fruits,

Which we don't have any of.

Gilligan, are you trying to tell us something?

Not me. I promised professor

I wouldn't say a word.

Besides, if I told you we were dying,

It would probably ruin your appetite.

We're all what?

Dying because we have no vitamins.

W-well, when's it going to happen?

Well, not for weeks... Or at least.

You mean we've only got or weeks left to live?

Well, she's probably got weeks,

And you probably have .

You see, the more you weigh, the faster you go.

Told you you'd lose your appetites.

Not doing very much for mine, either.

Gilligan, I've made a decision.

About what?

About the way I've been acting.

I mean, after all, I am the captain.

I'm the skipper.

I should be setting an example for the others.

What're you gonna to do?

What am I going to do?

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

Gilligan, I'm going to put up a front.

I'm going to be cheerful.

I'm going to show them that a real man

Doesn't let a little thing like this bother him.

And, oh, little buddy,

You're gonna be real proud of me and...

That's an orange.

I know. I was going to have it for dessert,

But I changed my mind.

The less I weigh, the longer I live.

Gilligan, do you realize that you have my life

In the palm of you hand? My life!

No, I don't. I have an orange.

Gilligan, where did you get it? Where?

In the jungle.

In the jungle.

[Shouting] everybody!

Oranges in the jungle!

Where in the jungle, gilligan?

Well, it's not too far. Show me!

Well, this is the last one.

The last one? Oh, no.

Oranges! Oranges!

Did someone say oranges?

Oranges? Oranges?

Well, I didn't hear anybody

Say anything about oranges.

I distinctly heard someone say

There were oranges in the jungle.

So did i.

But this is the last one.

[All shouting at once]

Mine, mine, all mine!

What do you want with a tennis ball?

Now, that was pretty sneaky.

How about you sneaking up behind me

To steal the orange?

Well, that was right in character.

Mr. Howell, you gotta understand...

I only have one orange, and all my friends need it.

I know, I know, but can they afford it?

It's not for sale.

Well, wait a minute, gilligan.

It's not for me, you see.

It's for my wife, a loyal woman

Very much like your own mother.

Oh. I thought you were being selfish.

Now, you see, you misjudge me.

Now, you will give that orange to mrs. Howell, won't you?

And she'll give it right back to you.

Of course...

Gilligan, you've outwitted a howell!

[Crying]

Hey, ginger, what's wrong?

Nothing.

Why are you crying?

Crying?

Me crying?

Is there anything I can do?

I'm glad you asked.

I think I'm sorry I asked.

Oh, gilligan, you'd cry, too,

If you were in my condition.

You bet.

Me being in your condition and being a boy?

That's not what I meant.

Ginger, don't ask me for my orange.

Ok, I won't.

You won't?

No.

But you'll give it to me anyway.

Why?

Because...

Because why?

Oh, gilligan.

[Cries]

I've decided to give everyone a slice.

Gilligan, king solomon couldn't have done better.

It's the only fair thing you can do, little buddy.

I think someone ought to say something.

After all, it is a special occasion.

Thurston's awfully good at that sort of thing.

Say something appropriate, dear.

Anyone care to sell his slice?

Mr. Howell!

Professor: while it is a noble gesture, gilligan,

Unfortunately,

A single slice won't do us any good.

Well, I think we ought to vote it

To the person who needs it the most: me.

Skipper, I wanted to share the orange.

But I'm your buddy!

Well, you may be his buddy,

But I'm a very rich millionaire.

Now, just a moment.

Let's try to be sensible about this.

I mean, after all,

There's a logical answer to every problem.

Oh. Well, the logical thing is to give me the orange.

I do so much charity work.

B-but I'm the one that's sick right now.

But it's ladies first, skipper.

It's women and children first. Therefore, I get votes.

Can I say something?

Uh, gilligan, keep quiet, will you?

Can't you see we're very busy?

Please, please, please.

Now, let's remember that even though this is a crisis,

We're all friends.

I'm sure that each of us has reasons for believing

We deserve the orange.

Mary ann: I'm a member of the -h club.

Skipper: well, I'm a veteran.

Ginger: well, I'm a movie star.

I'm a member of the d.a.r.

I'm thurston howell iii. Anyone care to top that?

Can I say something now?

What is it, gilligan?

I know how to stop all the arguing.

And would you mind telling us how?

Look.

Well, we have no one to blame but ourselves.

Our dissension has led us

Over the precipice to destruction.

Our greed has pushed us to the brink of disaster.

Not only that.

The sun shrunk up the orange.

Gilligan, he just said that.

Not as plain as me.

Oh, to think I'll never see kansas again.

Or california, or north dakota, or north nebraska,

Or south carolina, or oklahoma, or texas...

Cut that out, gilligan.

Oh, I can't believe it.

Do I look like I have a vitamin deficiency?

Ginger, you don't look

Like you have a deficiency of anything.

Thank you, professor.

But you do. We all do.

An orange! An orange!

My kingdom for an orange!

Your kingdom? Oh, really, thurston!

Would you believe half of my kingdom?

A third of my kingdom?

A little quarter of my kingdom, maybe?

Mr. Howell, we're in real trouble

With this orange dried up like that.

I might as well give it a decent burial.

Gilligan, that's it... A burial!

I'm not even sick yet!

Oh, not you. The seeds!

We'll plant the seeds and grow our own orange trees.

What a wonderful idea!

And then we'll have plenty of oranges!

Why didn't we think of that before?

Everything grows from seeds!

Not everything.

Yes, gilligan, everything!

Orange trees grow from orange seeds,

Apple trees grow from apple seeds,

And watermelons grow from watermelon seeds.

Yeah, but birds don't grow from bird seeds.

Lovey... Lovey, my dear,

Aren't they just beautiful?

You must be seeing something I don't see.

No. I see thousands of orange trees

Springing out of the ground.

Well, all I see are a lot of nasty pits.

No. Look beyond the horizon...

Beyond tomorrow.

I see valencia oranges,

Mandarin oranges, navel oranges.

We'll be up to our navel in navels.

All those from these?

Well, it's not quite that easy.

First of all, we have to plant them.

Plant them? In the dirt?

With our hands?

Well, I believe that's the usual way.

Oh, dear. Then it's not for us.

Gilligan: hey, come on.

Everybody's planting their seeds.

Yes. Unless we cooperate,

We'll go to that great orange grove in the sky.

But when we go, thurston, we go with clean hands.

Yes, we do.

Oh, let's face it, mary ann.

I don't know what to do with this.

Oh, in kansas we plant wheat,

Not citrus fruit.

All I know about oranges is that in florida,

People grow them to send to people in california,

Who grow them to send to people in florida.

Well, when in doubt, use the farmer's formula:

One part sunshine, parts water,

And parts prayer.

"The scientific approach to the rapid growth of citrus fruits

"Is assured with the proper amounts of vitamin d,

"Aqua naturalis,

"A fertilizer containing sodium chloride,

"Nitrate of potassium, and calcium.

"If this doesn't achieve results,

"Try one part sunshine, parts water,

And parts prayer."

Gilligan, what are you doing?

Skipper, I got to make sure

I plant the seed in the right place.

Nope. Still in the shade.

Gilligan, that's not shade.

That's your shadow!

Hey, you're right!

Now, here. Plant that.

Ok.

Well?

Well, what?

Well, when's the orange tree gonna grow?

I'll take over for you now, professor.

Oh, this is the coldest night I can remember.

Now, those tiki torches must be kept lit.

Right.

Those orange seeds must be kept warm.

Yes, sir.

If those seeds die...

Are you trying to tell me something?

Gilligan, if those seeds die, we die.

That's what I was afraid you were trying to tell me.

You stay awake.

Yeah.

: And all's well!

What was that?

Only gilligan.

Gilligan: : and all's well!

If he crows when the sun comes up,

So help me, I'll k*ll him!

Teddy.

: O'clock and all's well.

Does he have to do that?

What time is it?

Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

: , According to the kook.

Professor: now, those tiki torches must be kept lit.

Those orange seeds must be kept warm.

Keep warm...

Gilligan, if those seeds die, we die.

Die... Die... Die... Now, you stay awake.

[Gilligan snores]

If those seeds die, we die.

[Snores]

Gilligan! Gilligan!

Gill... Oh, there you are.

How can you sleep

When you know the cupboard is bare

And the wolf is at the door?

Wolf? Where? Where?

At the door.

Where is your courage, my son?

I'm sorry, mother, but lack of vitamins

Has made me sleepy, tired, discouraged, and cowardly.

Well, there's only one cure

For your ailment, my son... Oranges.

Oh, if we only had some.

Mother, what are you doing with your jewel box?

I have made a decision.

Take these emeralds, these diamonds,

These rubies to the market

And trade them in for half a dozen oranges.

And don't talk to strangers.

Oh, yes, noble mother, who's sacrificing her jewels.

You can trust your trustworthy son.

I better.

Hold it there, tall, dark, and emaciated.

Where are you going on this bright and cheery morning?

I'm going to the market to trade this chest

Of rubies, diamonds, and emeralds

For oranges.

Rubies, diamonds, and emeralds?

By george, you're right. Gotta get dark glasses.

But my mother said I can't talk to strangers.

Always listen to your mother, son.

A boy's best friend is his mother. I had one once.

I must remember that.

Yes, you must remember.

Incidentally, my name is lester j. Frothingham iii.

I can't talk to strangers.

Ever know a stranger named lester j. Frothingham iii?

No, sir.

Then we must be friends. Kinda follows, doesn't it?

I guess so.

Here, let me hold this little...

Oh, no. I've gotta trade this chest for oranges.

I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do, son.

I'm gonna trade this box of paltry baubles

For some of these magic beans.

Magic beans...

Not so loud, son! A crowd might collect.

Real magic beans?

Real magic.

So magic, that you won't have one orange,

Not a dozen oranges, but a whole...

A veritable orange grove.

Oh, sir, you are the kindest,

Friendliest man I ever met in my whole life.

Then it's a trade, huh?

Yes, sir.

There you are.

Run along, son. You bother me.

You bother me. Hold it, boy!

Do you have a brother? No, sir.

Too bad. I like doing business with your family.

Beans? But I asked you for oranges.

But, mother, the man said they're not ordinary...

I'm going to show you something, gilligan.

Now, look at this.

Baked beans, brown beans, soybeans,

Lima beans, string beans, green beans...

And I hate beans!

Besides, I asked you for oranges,

You silly, ridiculous, idiotic boy.

Sometimes I get the feeling she's disappointed in me.

Whew!

[Doorbell chimes chopin's funeral march]

You must go away.

This is the castle of the mean and cruel giant.

You think I'm afraid of a mean and cruel giant?

Aren't you?

I don't even care how big he is.

Uh, how big is he?

Oh, he's about... Oh, sorry I asked.

How come the giant's so mean and cruel?

He's an orange miser.

He has a whole treasure room full of oranges.

Oh, I must get some for my mother.

That would make me proud and pleased and happy.

And dead, if the giant catches you.

How big did you say that giant was?

[Groans]

My goodness!

Where did he get all these oranges?

From her.

[Quacking]

That's the goose that lays the golden oranges.

Oh, if I get a hold of that goose,

She would forgive me everything.

Don't be silly.

If you steal that goose, you'll be a dead duck.

Oh, now run before it's too late.

Giant: fee fie fo fum!

Oh, it's too late!

Where can I hide?

Behind the chair. No, no, no! No, no, no!

Hide behind there. Ok.

[Whimpers]

[Giant footsteps]

Well now, my pretty,

What's going on in here?

Not a thing, mean and cruel master.

It's been very quiet.

Well... I smell something,

And it's not oranges.

Fee fie fo fum!

I don't smell any fee, fie, fo, or fum.

Well, I do, and it's coming from over there.

Aha! There you are!

Come out from behind there!

[Roaring]

What was that?

A dragon! I must slay him

Before he tries to steal all my oranges.

I'll be back to deal with you later.

[Dragon roars]

Come on. We'll grab the goose and go.

All right.

[Quacks]

Woman: help! Help!

What was that?

Oh, nothing... Just an old lady

The giant has locked in his dungeon.

Please rescue me!

Come on! Hurry!

No. First I must rescue the old lady in the dungeon.

You heroes are all alike.

[Yelling and banging on door]

Help me.

Young man,

We've been locked up in that tiny dungeon for years!

Look, we don't have time to discuss a housing problem.

How can we ever thank you?

Look, we gotta run, fast.

That giant'll be back any second.

Oh, come on. Hurry. Yeah.

Oh, first, I must reward my rescuer.

Look, lady, we don't have time.

Oh, I know. I know!

I will thank you with a kiss.

A kiss?

I knew that would grab you.

Can't we just shake hands?

A kiss.

[Groans]

This hero business isn't what it's cracked up to be.

[Sighs] go ahead. Get it over with.

Oh, boy.

Ah!

My, you're beautiful,

Especially for an old hag.

It was your kiss that did it.

I'm really a princess.

And I'm really a prince.

And I could use a kiss to turn me back into a prince.

Forget it, buster. I'm not gonna kiss you.

Oh, it's not you that can turn him back.

It's her.

Oh. The giant's beginning to look

Better and better every minute.

That bad, eh?

Come on.

I've got to get this goose back to my mother.

I'd rather kiss the goose.

Here goes.

Oh, you're not a prince!

No, I'm not, am i?

Well, don't believe everything ya hear, girlie!

[Cackling]

Giant: fee fie fo fum!

Here comes the old fee-fie-fo-fummer again!

Oh, I know a shortcut! Follow me.

[Giant footsteps]

Whoa.

Aha!

Trying to steal my goose, eh?

Aha! Aha! Lemme go.

Lemme go. Lemme go.

Lemme go.

Gilligan, wake up.

No, no! Lemme go! You've got me...

Will you stop that? It's just me, gilligan.

Did I fall asleep?

That's not important.

It's not important?! If the tiki torches went...

They went out, skipper! That means that the seeds...

Skipper, look!

Look at those grapefruit!

The professor found some grapefruit trees!

Yes, and lemon trees, too!

I know all about them!

You mean, you knew there were citrus fruits?

No, not citrus fruits, just grapefruits and lemons.

Oh, gilligan, those are citrus fruits.

My goodness!

If he only knew where I could get my hands

On a -inch t-bone steak.

I know!

You do? Where?

Back there on hawaii.

You know, where we used to park the minnow right there.

Bring it in there... The little restaurant?

Thank you, professor. Oh...

Gilligan, your timing is wrong.

You just don't want me to go into business for myself.

It's not that at all.

But, gilligan, you've been out here for hours,

And what have you made?

Nothing.

Exactly. Now come on. Let's go fishing.

Ok, but it sure would have been a swell business yesterday.

All right. Come on.

♪ Now this is the tale of our castaways ♪

♪ They're here for a long, long time ♪

♪ They'll have to make the best of things ♪

♪ It's an uphill climb ♪

♪ The first mate and his skipper, too ♪

♪ Will do their very best ♪

♪ To make the others comfortable ♪

♪ In their tropic island nest ♪

♪ No phone, no light ♪

♪ No motor cars, not a single luxury ♪

♪ Like robinson crusoe ♪

♪ It's primitive as can be ♪

♪ So join us here each week, my friends ♪

♪ You're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ From stranded castaways ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪