04x13 - Run Baby Run

[bunniefuu]

ROY: We have to stop meeting like this.
This is our third morning coffee date.

It's like the secret life of carpoolers.

[ROY LAUGHING]

Honestly, the food's better here
than at my place right now.

Unless you like Hamburger Helper.
That's all Coop eats right now.

I'm more of a fish sticks guy myself.

Well, I wish I could get Paige
to eat fish sticks.

We had this massive
showdown last week.

She declared herself a vegan.

I said no. No, no.
I negotiated her back up to a vegetarian.

So she's going on junior at Berkeley.

Yes, it's not that I don't support her
moral choice,

I just... I don't know what to feed her.

The latest battle?
She, uh... she wants a tattoo.

- What?
- She wants a tattoo.

- She's !
- Yes.

Oh, my God. Listen, Paige's thing?
She's just...

She's always pitting me
and Joe against each other.

- It's driving me nuts.
- Yeah. My ex and I,

we had to nip that in the bud.

It's called the circle of trust.

And I know it sounds very 's,
but every drop-off and pickup

we have a family chat
about where everybody's at.

No, it works. It's all about, uh,
transparency.

Transparency, wow.

Where have you been all my life?

Well, maybe it's good
we're meeting now.

What are you doing tonight?

Your kids are with their dad,
my kids are with their mom.

- I'll bring the fish sticks.
- I'm sorry.

I invited my sister Kitty for dinner
and her husband.

Another time.

- But you should come. Please.
- Okay.

Except my mother's gonna be there.

And I work with my Uncle Saul,
he got wind of it, so he's coming.

And my brother Kevin is bringing
his husband Scotty

once they knock up the surrogate.

It's a big family dinner.
It sounds like fun to me.

It's not too late to say no.
It's a hell of a lot of Walker.

I'm a big boy. I can take care of myself.

I bet you can.

ROBERT:
We had to do this on a Saturday?

I mean, isn't this just a little bit early

in the election cycle
to be having this meeting?

They've been trying to talk to you
for a while.

We're only ten months out
from reelection.

Which means you need to start doing
at least four fundraisers

- a week every week.
- Oh, come on, Joe.

I don't even have a challenger
in the primary.

Senator, I've been raising money for you
for a lot of years.

You never know
who's coming up from behind you.

- You know the game.
- The game.

KEVIN:
Robert, it's not that bad.

We can make our monthly quotes
with a minimum of people an event

at bucks a ticket.

Why not put me in a dunk t*nk
have them throw bean bags at me?

Kid around all you want,

but we're not liking how the opposition
looks in November.

Yeah, they've got some strong guys
but at the end of the day

the liberals are gonna fade
and they'll run Velasquez.

That's why we're thinking make a move
with the Hispanics now while it's still early.

Get your hands in their pockets

before the Democrats start making
them cry over immigration.

[ROBERT GASPS]

You guys are unbelievable.

Look, I have my feelers
out to this Shakira.

Outdoor concert, you rent
a couple of Porta-potties,

and bingo,
you pull in a couple hundred grand.

And you look golden with the Mexicans.

Okay, first of all,
Shakira is from Columbia.

And before we go pandering
to Mexican Americans or anybody else,

it's not how
I wanna deliver my message.

And it's definitely not how I wanna spend
my time in the Senate.

But you're still gonna need to get
the money to get the message out there,

- however you wanna do it.
- Listen.

Let's table this before I say
something you don't wanna hear.

Robert, you own this seat.

It's just... We just have to look ahead,
that's all I'm saying.

Joe, nobody owns a Senate seat.

Okay? All right. I'll talk to you this week.

I'll let you go back to it. But next week.

KEVIN:
Thanks, Joe.

Aren't you supposed to be
at the fertility clinic?

- Yeah.
- Go. Go.

Make a baby.

Will you please come over here?
I can't see you back there.

I'm sorry. I was just trying to be
respectful of your, you know, lady parts.

- "Lady parts"? Is he joking?
- No.

If we become parents, you will say penis
and vag*na, not licorice and lady parts.

[PHONE RINGS]

- Hey, Mom.
- I just wanted to tell you

I'm thinking about you
and I'm sending you very strong vibes.

I think it's a little weird to have your mom
in the room during conception.

- Hey, guys.
- The doctor's here. Bye.

- Ooh. He's very nervous.
- Mom, I can't find your bundt pan.

- Do you still have it?
- Right there. Right in front of you.

- Right next to the Jell-O mold.
- Got it.

- You're making a bundt cake?
- Mm-hm.

- And drunken pork.
- Ooh! Drunken pork and a bundt cake.

You don't have to come. If you wanna
change your mind, that's fine.

No, no. I wanna meet this guy.
I have never seen you so totally aflutter.

Oh, come on. I'm not aflutter.

I'm just... I'm optimistic.

Optimistic is what the weatherman is.
No, you're aflutter.

Okay, I admit it. I admit it.
I am. I'm aflutter.

Mom, this guy's incredible.
He wakes up in the morning

and he actually leaves the house.

He's sharp, he's organized,
he runs his own business,

he understands what it's like to be
a single parent.

He's a grown-up.

Yeah, in other words,
he's everything Luc wasn't.

Oh, don't stop there.
What about my ex-husband?

This is a sea change for me.

- Well, I can't wait to meet him.
- Okay, I gotta get going.

I got a hundred things to pick up
and I still have to stop by at Ojai.

Ojai? Why? It's Saturday.

Oh, God, Mom, Uncle Saul,

he filed the quarterly taxes
before he did the payroll taxes.

Which leaves us wide-open to an audit.

- I gotta go fix it up.
- Well, ask Saul to do it.

Yeah.

The thing is,
Uncle Saul's been so cranky lately.

- It's better I do it myself.
- I hope he's all right.

I haven't spoken to him in weeks,
which is strange in itself.

Mom, I am actually
a little worried about him.

He's been at Ojai so long,
he might just be burnt out.

Hm.

- Well, look, you're busy. I'll do it.
- What? Talk to Saul?

Well, I'll do that later.
First I'll go to Ojai,

re-file your form,
and fix your taxes.

Listen to you. "Re-file the form."

You know what? In the old days of Ojai,

bookkeeping was a one-woman show:
Moi.

Would you please just let me handle it?

- Okay. Go for it.
- Thank you.

- No, thank you.
- No, thank you.

BUFFY:
Remember the first time we went to D. C?

That wingding
for college Republicans?

Yes, and we thought
it was a Halloween party

- and I wore a bunny suit.
- And I dressed as a stripper.

And the only reason you got a job

in the White House
was because of that G-string.

- Hey.
- Hey.

If you got it, flaunt it.

Okay, I need a little intel.

What's your husband meaning to do?

Primary's coming right up
and he has not announced for reelection.

- America needs to know.
- I wish I knew myself.

Oh, God...

Well, join the club.

Nobody can say boo until he decides.

I've got players stacked up from here
to San Francisco just waiting on him.

- Who are we talking about?
- Diaz, Barry Dicheco,

and, oh, you know Hargrove.

- Kinky Bob?
- Yeah.

You can't put him over.
He's got stuff on the Internet.

- His wife did take him back.
- Well...

Hm, what about Holtzman in the th?
I hear that he's on his way out.

Yeah, he is flopping like a catfish
on dry land.

I could probably get somebody in there.

- Really?
- Mm-hm.

- Well, who's interested?
- A lot of people.

- Why?
- Oh, no.

No, I'm just curious.

- No reason.
- No reason?

Kitty McCallister. It's you.

KITTY:
Shh!

- No, shh, shh!
- Oh, my God.

No, no. I don't know yet.
It's complicated.

I have a baby, my marriage is going great,
I don't know why I just said that.

Ooh, you would k*ll in the th.

Your cancer,
we don't even have to focus group that.

- Women love you.
- No, I do not wanna run on lymphoma.

I wanna run on what I can do for other
people, not on what happened to me.

If I even decide to do it, l...

Hey. I don't wanna hear "if."

Kitty McCallister for Congress
in California's th.

What took you so long?

- Surprise.
- Hey.

It's your loving, supportive wife
bringing you lunch.

- What's that?
- Oh, well, it's Saturday.

Oh. You had a meeting
with Joe Corvus.

If I had a meeting with Joe Corvus,
I think that I would be drinking vodka.

So, what did he have for you?
Meet and greets?

- You don't wanna know.
- Nobody wants to raise money,

but primary season is revving up.

Every dirtbag and moneygrubber comes
marching right out of the woodwork.

It does seem to get worse every year.

It's to the point where you get elected
to work for the people

who sent you there and
you gotta turn right around

- and go to work at getting elected again.
- Yeah, it isn't a perfect system,

but it's the one we have.
Look, I brought you turkey...

Endless gridlock and name-taking
and score-keeping

and look, I don't have anything against
the people who do it,

I just don't wanna work that way.
You know? I wanna do something real.

I wanna be able to point to something
and say, "See that? I did that."

Well, there are tons of things
that you can point to...

What if you and Evan and I
started a foundation?

And we went to Africa
and we brought water

and we brought doctors to people
who needed it?

Yeah, of course.
That would be wonderful,

- but maybe someday we...
- And when?

When? I mean, here comes
another election and I'm running

and I'm running and where am I going?

In the last four years I've run for president,
I've run for governor.

I know, but you're a senator.
Okay? You love being a senator.

I love the work.
I hate the crap around it.

Are you saying
that you don't wanna run?

I'm saying
that I don't wanna play the game.

You're saying that you don't wanna run.

I'm saying I don't wanna run.

I'm done. I'm done running for office. L...

We're done running for office.

[SIGHS]

Wow. Okay. Okay, we're done.

We're done running for office.

Now, I know you're wondering
whether my wife's health

had anything to do with this decision

and the answer is yes,
and so did my heart att*ck.

Through both crises I learned
not to be more careful,

but to be more bold.

To take more chances.

Because this is the only life that we get.

But let me be clear.

Although I won't be running for reelection
in November,

I remain committed to serving
all Californians as their senator

for the remainder of my term.

And then after that,
as an engaged private citizen.

REPORTER: Senator. Senator.
- Questions.

Will you be endorsing anyone
in the Republican Primary, senator?

I'm gonna wait and see who jumps
into the pool before I get into that.

Any truth to the rumors
that Mrs. McCallister was thinking

of running for Congress in the th?

I'm sorry?

Word on the street is
is that she's interested.

Well, why don't we let Kitty
answer that?

Oh, ha...

Well, uh, no.
No, I actually haven't heard that rumor.

- Have you?
- Ha, no.

No. No, sorry.
You're on your own with that one.

- Yes, but it's a good try, Steve.
REPORTER : Excuse me.

REPORTER : Senator!
REPORTER : What's next, senator?

Any specific plans for after next year?

Why did I drink so much water?

Well, a full bladder makes your uterus
easier to see with the sonogram.

MICHELLE:
Is it gonna hurt?

DR. CORTEZ:
Actually,

it's done.

Two embryos.

- Wow, really?
- Talk about premature ejaculation.

Now, Michelle, I need you to stay still
and lie here for an hour.

After that, it's hours of bed rest.

My friend Sam's gonna help me.

KEVIN: What friend Sam?
SCOTTY: She has a friend named Sam.

- What's the problem?
- No problem. No Sam.

She's not gonna move.

- We're not taking any chances.
- You do know that with in vitro,

you need to abstain from sexual activity
up until week .

- Sixteen?
- Mm-hm.

- No, I did not know that.
- Oh, well, now you do.

Maybe you guys should abstain
for weeks in solidarity.

You're really busting out the big g*ns
for this guy.

You sure
you shouldn't save the bundt cake

for like maybe later in the relationship?

KITTY: Oh, I've got plenty of hot recipes
where that one came from.

My goodness. You really like this guy.
This is great.

No, I just like how easy
he makes everything.

You know, I have had so much drama
in my romantic life

and I've realized that
relationships do not have to be like that.

- Really? Who knew?
- Hey.

So this guy, for me,

for where I am at right now,
he's kind of perfect.

Perfect?

[PHONE RINGING]

Oh, it's Scotty. Hey.

Are you knocked up yet?

SCOTTY:
Well, keep your fingers crossed.

We just need to elevate her feet,
so the salmon can swim upstream.

Okay, I'm just gonna put you on speaker
so I'm not the only one grossed out.

Hold on, buddy.

SCOTTY: Hi, guys.
SARAH & REBECCA: Hey.

Hi, total strangers who know
way too much about my business.

- How did everything go?
- Oh, well, you know,

the buns are orbiting the oven.

We just need to keep
Squirmy McSquirmypants still

for the next hours so they can land.

Michelle, I was working like crazy
when I got pregnant.

Don't let them drive you nuts.

We're just trying to be overly cautious,
that's all.

- Where's Kevin?
- Oh, Robert called.

He said it was important.
You know how that is.

Robert calls, Kevin jumps,
that sort of...

[SNIFFS]

...thing.

Michelle, what's that smell?

[SNIFFS]

Ah. That's my oven. I have a gas leak.

- The landlord was supposed to fix it.
- Wait, a gas leak?

It's just a little one.

Scotty, you've gotta get her out
of there right now.

- The doctor said she's to be on bed rest.
- Well, find her a different bed.

I guess we'll take her back
to our place.

SARAH: Come on. Where would you two
sleep? Bring her over here tonight.

The kids are with Joe,
so she can have Paige's room.

Thank you, thank you so much.

And thank God Kevin's not here.
He'd be having a nervous breakdown.

Come on.

- . That's all I needed, Peggy.

- Thank you very much.
- Nora?

Ah!

God, no, I'm fine. It's just Saul.

Sorry, Peggy. I yelled right in your ear.
Ha, ha. Okay, bye.

My God, Saul. You scared me to death.

Next time would you knock on a door
or make a noise?

Who do I have to knock for, Nora?
It's my office. What are you doing here?

- I'm talking to the accountant.
- Yeah, I know. I heard you.

Why are you sitting in my desk?

Um, I'm... I'm just doing Sarah a favor.

She came by this morning and mentioned
there was a problem filing the taxes.

Oh, I see.
Sarah said there was a problem.

- A snafu, really.
- Snafu?

You didn't do the payroll taxes.

Yeah, Nora, I know.
That's why I'm here to fix it.

And if Sarah was so worried,
why didn't she call me

instead of sending my baby sister
to make it worse?

She didn't send me, l... I offered.

And talk about worried.
You know what, Saul?

I'm worried about you. Are you all right?

We haven't spoken in weeks.

Well, perhaps that's because I'm busy
doing my job

and I don't have all day
to spend talking on the phone.

- Why are you being defensive?
- You're sitting in my desk

making God knows
what kind of a mess on my files.

I'm not making a mess.
I fixed the problem.

I was trying to help you.
You should thank me.

What for, Nora? I don't need your help.

I'm the CFO, not some housewife
in need of a hobby.

Now, if you will excuse me, I would like to
sit down at my desk and do my work.

Fine. I'm leaving.

Excuse me for trying to make
your life just a little bit easier.

Sarah said you were crabby
but that is an understatement.

The form is complete, but since
I am such a lowly amateur in your eyes,

perhaps you should double-check it.

Oh, I will.

Thanks to all you dedicated parents

the middle school garden has grown
tremendously over the past year.

And the cooks in the cafeteria
are loving it too so great job.

MAN:
Yeah.

MODERATOR:
Now on to a more serious topic.

As you know, the
Parent Safety Committee has concluded

that doing random searches
on lockers and backpacks

might ease a lot of the security stress
at the school.

So we'd like to hear from you parents
about your feelings.

- Yes.
- Hi, everyone. I'm Sarah Walker.

I think this is a horrible idea.

Being a student shouldn't rob you

of your right to protection
against unreasonable searches.

Frankly, I'm a little shocked
that the Safety Committee

would pursue a course of action
that doesn't consider their kids' civil rights.

Well, we did regard
the children's civil rights.

Oh, that's you?

I'm the head of the committee, yeah.

Oh, uh... Well, Roy, I'm sure you didn't
mean to just slam this thing through

given nothing's actually ever happened.

You didn't happen to
read about the study

that was done in the middle schools
in San Antonio?

No. No, I missed that.

It essentially tells us that
you can't tell what's in a kid's backpack

unless you check it.

But what about the parents?
Isn't that our job?

I know what's in my kid's backpack.

- What was in your kid's backpack today?
- Lunch and books.

But what's gonna be
in their backpack tomorrow?

Because that's the question.

They're changing so fast,
it's impossible to keep up.

Yes. That's why you need to have
a relationship with your child.

Now, I don't have an unbroken circle,
Roy,

but I trust my children.

What about the older children?
The upperclassmen. Do you trust them?

No, I guess I don't. I guess I need
my school to do all the parenting for me.

In fact, why doesn't Principal Frasier
come over to my house tonight

and tuck my kids in? Come on.
Where does this stop?

It's a slippery slope down to Hoover
and the CIA.

All right, does anyone else
have an opinion?

- Excuse me, I haven't finished, actually.
- This is no longer productive.

But I can assure you this will
be discussed further in committee.

- I'm gonna come to that meeting.
- You'd have to be a member to do that.

- I'll join.
- We're full.

I'll start another committee.
A counter-committee. A better committee.

Hoover was head of the FBI.

SCOTTY:
Ooh!

[UPBEAT POP MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]

- Michelle, could you take it easy?
- I'm not moving, Kevin.

You're flapping your arms.
You have to stay still or it might not stick.

It's an embryo, not Velcro.

Yes.

Don't start your victory dance.
It's my serve now.

Let her win, would you?

I don't wanna play
if he's gonna throw the game.

Well...

- Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?
- She's not supposed to laugh.

Where are you going?

I have to use the bathroom.
Is that all right?

Do you really have to use the bathroom
or are you just being spiteful?

Do you wanna find out?

[DOOR CLOSES]

Come on, Scotty,
you have to back me up over this.

You heard what the doctor said.
No moving at all.

So, what does that mean?
She has to be careful.

She also said some women go jogging,
some women have sex,

drink the next morning
and nine months later...

I know, I know, I know.

I'm sorry.
I just really, really want this to work.

[DOOR CLOSES]

There you are.
What happened to your car?

Oh, they had to tow it.
All the lights lit up on the dashboard

and then the whole thing went apoplectic
and just dropped dead

just like my relationship
with Mr. Perfect.

- You had an argument?
- No, I just had the nerve

to stick to my opinion
about how to raise my children.

I challenged him. What's worse,
I challenged him in public

and that's what happens
if you don't smile and nod.

Men get very threatened.

And I'm done with it. I'm done, Mom.
No more dating for me.

I'm just gonna go into a quiet,
happy life of abstinence.

Does that mean he's not coming
to dinner?

Yes, Mom.
He won't be coming to dinner.

- Oh, sweetheart.
- I really liked him.

I don't know what I was thinking.
I'm just... I'm stupid.

You know what?
I don't wanna think about it.

Let's move on. Come on.
Let's get out of here.

- Oh. How did everything go at Ojai?
- It was a disaster.

Mom. You said
that you would take care of it.

Well, I did. I was great. It was...
My brother was the disaster.

He came in and saw me working in his
office and he had an absolute hissy fit.

Oh, my God...

Yeah. He called me a dilettante

and said I was a housewife
in need of a hobby.

Well, I told you he was very snappy.
He's looking for any excuse to lash out.

Yeah, but it felt so good to be working
like the old days back at Ojai.

- Well, I'm proud of you.
- He's not.

Well, you are a strong woman.
If he is threatened by that, so be it.

- Right on, sister.
- Yeah.

[NORA GRUNTS]

KITTY: I don't know how
you could tell people

that I was running for Congress
in the th.

- Because you wanted me to.
- I never told you to do that.

I know. You didn't have to.
I knew what you wanted even if you didn't.

Look, you're gonna be a great candidate,
you'll be a great public servant.

Give me a little credit
for being good at my job.

Nobody ever said that you weren't.

But I have to tell you that this is a decision
that I have to make, okay?

It's private, it's personal, and I'm
sorry to say, but Robert is a part of it.

Well, you've got nothing to worry about.
I never said this came from you.

That's not the point.

The point is, I don't even know
if I wanna be in this position again.

- And what position is that?
- Eating three dinners

because I don't wanna offend
two cooks.

Keeping a smile plastered on my face

even though I'm missing
my son's bedtime.

Kissing up, twisting arms,
and the worst of it is remembering to lie

- when I'm having lunch with a friend.
- Man, you are good.

- Listen.
- Yes.

I'm gonna give you this. It's a gift.

Robert just announced
that he's not running. And neither am I.

[SIGHS]

I am sorry to hear that.

When you change your mind,
give me a call.

[SCOFFS]

Nice try.
I'm not gonna change my mind. Uh-uh.

[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING]

SCOTTY:
Okay, here you are.

Two bottles of water and an entire
newsstand worth of magazines.

Thanks.

So Sam just texted me
and he is on his way.

You don't think that Kevin's gonna be
coming up here all night, right?

Yes.

Here's the thing.
I didn't know how to tell Kevin this,

but Sam is more than just a friend.

- You're kidding me, right?
- Don't you get upset.

Well, how long
have you been seeing him?

A month.

Where does it say that
a surrogate can't have a boyfriend?

Nowhere.
But you have to tell us these things.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you.
I just thought Kevin would get mad.

Yeah, well, he's gonna be a lot madder
now that you kept it from us.

- Okay. At least tell me he's a nice guy.
- Yes. He's a really nice guy

and he's really responsible,
and he's really sweet.

And he's just a little younger than I am.

How much younger?

- Nineteen.
- Nine...

Come on. Kitty would have said something
if she was serious about running.

I'm telling you,
the question unnerved her.

Here, come on. Let's get started.

Are you gonna drink yourself
into a stupor tonight?

You betcha. I mean, let's face it.
Roy's hardly gonna show up, is he?

I was actually quite restrained.

I didn't call him a fascist,
which is what I was thinking.

That's restrained?

Look, you just need to find a man

who's comfortable with you
being a strong woman.

Do you remember
when you and I used to arm wrestle

and I always used to b*at you?

- Did you find that threatening?
- Sports were never my thing.

Listen, Kevin, Sam is on his way
over here with some DVDs.

- He can leave them with me.
- We can't control her.

She has a personal life.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Be nice.

Well, if he wants to stay for dinner,
I have a spare seat.

Place.

- I hope you're not Sam.
- Uh, no.

Roy.

Oh, my God. What are you doing here?

You invited me to dinner.

Oh, well, yes. Of course I did.

I guess
I figured after our little argument...

Look, Sarah, Roy's brought wine.
I'm Kevin. This is Scotty.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Do you have a backpack
we should check?

[BOTH LAUGHING]

SARAH:
That's so funny.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- I can't believe Michelle is really here.
- Yes. And don't bother her.

- Hello, I'm Nora Walker.
- Mom, this is Roy.

- It's a pleasure to meet you.
- Very nice to meet you.

- I've heard so much about you.
SARAH [WHISPERS]: Shut up.

SAUL: Hi.
KEVIN: Hi.

- Hi, Saul.
- Hello.

[IN NORMAL VOICE]:
Uncle Saul, this is my friend Roy.

- Hi, Roy. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

Saul. I'm gonna go upstairs
and meet Michelle, the surrogate.

- Why don't you come with me?
- No, thank you.

Oh, fine. Suit yourself.

Mom, don't get her riled up.

ROBERT: Hello.
- Roy, this is my sister Kitty

and her husband Robert.

- How are you?
- Good.

KEVIN: You wanna get some wine?
I think you do.

KITTY:
Oh.

- So is this your first Walker dinner party?
- It is.

- Good luck.
- Oh, Robert.

He's such a funny guy.

I saw your face, okay?

The only reason Robert isn't suspicious
is because he doesn't know

what you told us at the hospital.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Just because I said
I was thinking about running,

doesn't mean I'm gonna do it.

That depends on who
you've been thinking about it with.

All right. All right. I made a mistake.
I made a very, very big mistake.

Buffy. You remember Buffy?

Yeah, well, I told her
that I was considering running.

I don't know. I guess she blabbed it.

I knew this was a story. I knew it.

Shh, shh, shh.

- What's going on in here?
- Nothing.

It's like one of those backrooms
where political deals get done.

KITTY [WHISPERS]: Don't.
- I told you. She wants to run.

- Oh, my God. Really? Kitty, that's fantastic.
- Shh.

[IN NORMAL VOICE]: No. Even if
I did wanna run, I can't do it anyway

because Robert
dropped out of politics today.

- Well, so? Can't you drop in?
- No, no, no. You don't understand.

He did it for me.
He dropped out of politics for me.

- Have you even talked to him about this?
- No. And I'm not going to.

- Why?
- No, no. Shh. My life is fine.

In fact, my life is fabulous
just the way it is, so...

You know what we're doing?
We're being rude.

Rude. Now, come on. Come on.

- I promise you she wants to run.
- Wine.

- Great.
- Oh, by the way, Sam's here.

He is?

Mm-hm.

Well, listen. You guys have fun.

We'll just be downstairs,
so call us if you need us.

- We're gonna watch a zombie movie.
- You're gonna watch a zombie movie?

I don't want her seeing v*olence.

Kevin, it's just a movie,
for goodness' sakes.

When I was pregnant with you I saw
The Exorcist and you turned out just fine.

Well, she's not pregnant yet,
that's the whole point.

SCOTTY:
Second of all, he didn't turn out fine.

NORA: No.
- Kevin, this is Sam.

It's great to meet you.

- So anyway, come on, let's go.
- Yeah.

- Bye, guys.
- Yeah, bye. Come on.

She's on bed rest. You got that?

- Yes, sir.
- Yeah.

I was very sorry to hear
about your announcement today.

But I understand. I left the company
I was working for to start my own agency.

- The best thing you ever did, right?
- I'm traveling a lot more now though.

And I hate airports.

ROBERT: I'm afraid you can blame me
for the whole shoe thing.

I'm on the Senate Committee
on Homeland Security.

Don't worry. Roy loves x-ray machines.

ROBERT:
Should see the ones we're working on.

Can barely get a thumbtack
through them.

I think she's alluding
to a disagreement we had earlier.

You just met
and you've already had a fight?

No, it was more of a political dust up.

I loved your book, by the way.

Wow.

You read my book?

- It's terrific.
- Thank you.

Sorry. We were just talking to Michelle

who is stuck in bed
for the next hours.

Twenty six and counting, actually.

Ah, Kevin, Roy was just saying
how much he enjoyed Kitty's book.

Well, she does have
a great political mind.

- Wouldn't you say, Robert?
- It's one of the reasons I married her.

My sister gave it to me. She's a Democrat
and I'm a Republican so...

Oh.

This just keeps getting
better and better.

- That explains everything.
- Explains what?

I believe schools have the right
to search lockers and backpacks.

Without good cause.
Now, that's crazy, right?

- No. I don't think that's crazy at all.
- What?

What if someone brings a g*n
onto campus?

Mom, I can't believe you're saying this.

ROBERT:
My kids go to school in D.C.

I don't want anything getting
into the building other than homework.

Come on. It's an invasion
of the kids' privacy.

It's gotta be illegal, right?
Kevin, back me up on this.

No, I don't think so.
Not on school property.

- Really?
- Mm-hm.

Well, are you happy now?
My whole family's on your side.

No, I actually agree with Sarah.

I don't think the point is the search,
it comes down to the presumption of guilt.

Which flies in the face of everything
our country stands for.

We don't always agree
on everything.

- Yeah.
- That's as it should be.

What a perfect attitude,
don't you think, Sarah?

Yes, I do, actually.

So, Kitty, have you ever
thought of running for office?

Wow, that's twice in one day.

No. No, you know, I don't think
that I have the stomach for it.

And really, it would certainly
not be a good time.

I mean, you're really not healed.
You have...

Mom, please don't talk about cancer.

We haven't talked about it all night
and l... Just put a sock in it for once.

You are absolutely right.
We shouldn't talk about it.

Anyway, I find politics very boring
and I'm glad you chose not to run.

It's not about that.
Not about being boring.

- Unpleasant maybe, yeah, but...
NORA: Just ignore him.

He has been a pill all day.

Saul, why don't you just go upstairs

and introduce yourself to Michelle
and her boyfriend?

SAUL: Why don't you not tell me
what I should be doing?

I'm perfectly happy the way I am.

- Boyfriend? I thought they were friends.
- Kevin, calm down.

Are they a couple?

- Yes, they're dating. She just told... Kevin.
KEVIN: Excuse me.

- He let a guy up there?
- It's...

SCOTTY: I'm sorry.
- I'm gonna get a beer. You want one?

- Yeah, I'd love one.
- The Republicans are getting a beer.

The Republicans are getting drunk.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Well, fine. Maybe I'll go have a beer.

Mom, come on, stop it, the both of you.
You're like children.

Look, you're so mad at each other
you can't even look each other in the eye.

- I'm not angry, I'm hurt.
- What have you got to be hurt about?

You waltzed into my office,
you sat down at my desk...

NORA:
I went there today to try to help you.

Well, you can't help, okay?
Why don't you understand that?

Whatever it is that I need,
you can't do anything about it.

Look, I'm years old, okay?
All I have is my job.

So forgive me for being upset
because the two of you told me

that I'm not doing it very well.

- I was trying to save you the trouble...
- Just don't. My work is all I have.

My dreams are all gone. They're over.
I'm too old for them.

Okay, I shouldn't be here. That's all.
I just...

SARAH:
Oh, come on, Saul. Please don't go.

Wait a minute.
Uncle Saul, is that what you really think?

That it's too late for your dreams?

I mean, seriously,
because I almost d*ed.

And you know what? I really believe
that's when your dreams become

- more important than ever.
- I'm sorry, Kitty.

After what you've gone through,
I shouldn't be...

It's okay. I understand.

I'm just trying to tell you
that you're not alone.

That I have totally wasted
so much time.

And, you know, I say that I don't have
the stomach for politics,

but what I'm really trying to say
is that I don't have the guts.

- Oh, Kitty, you're nothing but guts.
KITTY: No.

You are nothing but guts.

And you exert a tremendous amount
of influence whether I like it or not.

KITTY:
Well, not as much as I could.

See, because that would require me
sticking my neck out farther, taking a risk,

you know, getting myself hurt,
hurting somebody else. It's all...

I'm confused. You mean
you're actually thinking about...

Running.

Yeah, yeah, I am. I am.

And you know what, Saul?
We're still here.

So I think we have to go for it.

I truly believe that.

And there just happens to be this
very vulnerable Congressional candidate

in the California th and I think
I'm just gonna have to go after him.

Thank you.

ROBERT:
Well, that was quite a speech.

[CHUCKLES]

Honey, it just came to me.
I was gonna...

- Talk to me about it?
- Well, yeah.

When?

[SIGHS]

[WOMAN SCREAMING OVER TV]

All right, that's it.
All the zombies are dead.

We can go to sleep
feeling safe and sound.

Wait. I like to watch the credits.

Why? No one would put their real name
to that movie.

I loved it.

SCOTTY:
Yeah, I liked it too.

- Lights out. I mean it.
- Okay.

SAM:
See you tomorrow.

Michelle, he knows the rules, right?
For the next weeks?

Okay, Kevin,
you're gonna drive them crazy.

Teenagers think about sex endlessly.

- Well, yes.
- I'm right here, man.

I know, man. That's the problem.

All right, just so you know,

I was so excited when she told me
what she was doing.

I still am. I wish you guys a lot of luck.

- Great, now I feel bad.
- Maybe you'll be nicer from now on.

Michelle, you do know how grateful I am
for everything you're doing, right?

Yeah.

Can I ask you guys a question?
Seriously?

Of course.

If this doesn't work out,
you're not gonna be mad at me, right?

- Oh, no. No.
- No. Not at all.

Okay, good.
Because I can't stop laughing.

It's impossible. I find the world funny.

You're absolutely right.

Do you know what I'm gonna do
right now?

I'm gonna let Scotty tell his joke.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

- I'm a little nervous now, but...
MICHELLE: Come on.

Okay. Do you wanna see my impression
of a gay owl?

- Yeah.
- Yes.

"Who?"

[KEVIN & SCOTTY LAUGHING]

- That's good. Yeah.
- That's funny.

MICHELLE: Yeah.
KEVIN: You made it funny.

- This is delicious.
- It is.

It's a shame everybody left
before they got to try it.

[ROY CHUCKLES]

No, I'm sorry about tonight.
The whole day, really.

- I was a jerk.
- No. No.

You know, the truth is,
I think you hit a little bit of a nerve.

With what?

Paige's backpack. It's sitting right there.

I have absolutely no idea what's in it.

Last year I could've told you.

Harry Potter, ChapStick, hair ties.
This year?

I never know who I'm gonna get.

And we fight nonstop.

I mean, I like a girl that holds her ground,
but oh, boy.

That makes two of us.

I wanna take this slow. I just...

I like you. And I wanted to say that.

Because it's all about transparency.

I like you too.

- Well?
- Well? Oh, he's fine. I think.

We have to leave in minutes.

Just looking at a speech
he wants to give next week.

How about you?
How are you feeling about all of this?

What, about you running
or me losing my job?

You're not gonna lose your job, Kevin.

You know that whatever he does next,
he's gonna take you with him.

I hope you're right.

Because with a little luck,
I'll have a family to support.

- Mmm. How is she doing? Is she resting?
- I hope so.

It's like we raised a child in one day.

First we had to keep her happy,
entertained,

and then we had to deal
with a teenage boyfriend.

You know, when you came out,

the only thing that I was sad about,

well, besides the fact
that you disappointed my friend Wendy

- who was madly in love with you...
- Oh, I remember her.

I was sad because

I thought that maybe you were
never gonna get to be a dad.

And I think you are gonna be great at it

and I am so happy
that this is happening to you.

Well, if you want something badly enough,
you find a way to get it.

So you think I should do it.

You think I should just throw my hat
in the ring?

I think you should talk
with your husband.

- Bye.
- Bye.

[DOOR CLOSES]

- Good morning.
- Saul.

Why didn't you call?
I would have made you some breakfast.

You've done enough for me already.

- You sound like you're in a good mood.
- I am in a good mood.

Kitty's right.
Life is too precious to waste.

Do you really think she's gonna run?
I mean, she just got out of the hospital.

I'm worried it's too soon.

Kevin said that the race is gonna be
a piece of cake.

She probably won't even break a sweat.

I hope.

I'll tell you what, though.
She inspired me.

I did the stupidest thing this morning.

- What?
- Well, I joined Silver Studs.

What the hell is that?

It's an online dating service
for gay men of a certain age.

- Yikes. Really?
- Yeah.

- Guess what.
- What?

- I already got a friend request.
- Oh, my gosh.

I should join a dating service.

Nora, the last time you dated someone
he went to jail, remember?

- So if I were you, I would take a breath.
- Anyway, this is not about me. So go on.

It is about you. That's why I came over.

I wanted to talk to you about something.

- Now what?
- Yesterday when you left my office,

I didn't think you could do it,
so I checked your work.

- Yeah?
- You did it.

Well, Peggy helped me a little bit.

Oh, come on, Nora, you were the best part
of Ojai when we first started.

Do you remember William and you
and I used to sit on little fruit crates

and try to figure out
how to get customers?

- Yes.
- You said something yesterday.

You said we were a family. That's right.
Ojai is a family business.

And I just want you to know
that whenever you wanna come,

you are most welcome.

Huh.

How was your flight?

Good.

Six hours of just thinking.

Did you come up with any conclusions?

That's funny.
I was gonna ask you the same thing.

And just for the record,
didn't you almost divorce me

for running for governor
without talking to you?

Yes, because you were lying
in a hospital bed

recovering from open heart surgery,
remember?

And what are you recovering from,
the common cold?

[SIGHS]

Yeah.

I'm, um, sorry.

I am. I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you.

For the record,
I haven't made any decisions yet.

Well, that doesn't bode well
for your campaign.

You've gotta want it pretty bad to suffer
the slings and arrows.

Robert, you have sacrificed everything
for me.

Given up your governorship,
given up your Senate seat.

- How am l...?
- Wait, wait. First of all,

those things aren't everything.

And why can't you give me credit
for owning my own decision?

I'm the one who made it.

Okay.

And why wouldn't you talk to me?

- Because I didn't wanna ruin everything.
- Well, that's not gonna happen.

So?

- Are you gonna do this?
- What am I supposed to do?

Just start campaigning
just when you've said

- that you want out of the whole thing?
- Yeah.

- I don't think you want that.
- No.

When you need me,
you can just roll me out.

What I am pissed about,
you broke the cardinal rule of politics.

You let the story get ahead of you.

What are you doing talking
to somebody like Buffy McCreary?

I don't know. I'm an idiot?

In politics the only people you can trust
are the people you are paying.

Yes, dear.

- So?
- So I don't know. I don't know.

You know, it's a very hard decision.

- I'll take that as a no.
- No, don't. I want to.

- You're positive?
- I'm positive.

As long as I know that we won't lose us.

You are kidding me.
You're never getting rid of me now.

Let me ask you, why are you talking about
this pissy little Congressional seat?

If you really wanna run for office,
I'll tell you whose seat you should run for.

- Whose?
- Mine.

I would be right there with you
and we would kick ass.

[CHUCKLES]

We would.

We would.