03x05 - Voodoo

[bunniefuu]

♪ Just sit right back, and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ A tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ That started from this tropic port ♪

♪ Aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ The mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ The skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ Passengers set sail that day for a -hour tour ♪

♪ A -hour tour ♪

[Thunder]

♪ The weather started getting rough ♪

♪ The tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ If not for the courage of the fearless crew ♪

♪ The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ The ship's aground on the shore of this ♪

♪ Uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ With gilligan ♪

♪ The skipper, too ♪

♪ The millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ The movie star ♪

♪ The professor and mary ann ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪

Gilligan!

Gilligan!

Gilligan!

I'm in here!

[Echo] here... Here...here...

Where? Where? Where?

Gilligan, are you in that cave again?

Gilligan, I thought I told you to stay out of this cave yesterday.

I did stay out of this cave yesterday.

Oh, brother.

Besides, I had to come back.

I lost my lucky rabbit's foot.

Boy, that rabbit's foot's always getting lost.

First by the rabbit, and now by me.

Well, hurry up and find it and let's get out of here.

Yeah, and skipper,

I found some more of this junk.

Aah!

Gilligan, will you stop digging for this stuff?

I told you that it was probably buried

By some ancient tribe.

And they're probably protected by a taboo.

Tab who?

Not tab who.

Taboo.

Like in voodoo.

This whole place is probably

Under the curse of a witch doctor.

Come on, gilligan. Let's get out of here.

This place is giving me the creeps.

Oh! I can't stand up.

You can't stand up, little buddy? You really can't stand up?

You're standing on my hand.

The voodoo is beginning to work.

Come on, gilligan. Let's go.

Ow! Hey!

What is it?

Somebody jabbed me in the neck and...

It couldn't have been you because you're in front of me,

And there's nobody behind me, so i...

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh is right.

That voodoo's beginning to work.

Come on, gilligan, let's get out of here.

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

Look at it, skipper.

No, I will not look at it.

It's definitely a classical example

Of early mayan workmanship.

What else did gilligan find in that cave?

Well, he found some jewelry

That he gave to ginger and mary ann, but...

I'm all for putting this stuff back there.

These artifacts are priceless.

Just--just look at the detail.

Well, take a look.

Oh, come on...

Please, professor! I'm not gonna look at it.

It's got a curse on it!

It won't bite you.

Oh, it won't bite me, huh?

Oh, please, professor,

It'll just chew me up and spit me out all over the rest of the island.

It's just a piece of pottery.

Well, it may be just a piece of pottery to you,

But to me, it's a "do not disturb" sign.

How can a grown man be frightened

Of a piece of baked clay?

Please, professor,

There's voodoo all through these islands.

Why, they got witch doctors out there

That can turn a man into a zombie.

That is just a sailor's superstition.

Have you ever seen a zombie?

Well, not really.

Well, you see, it's all imagination.

Imagination, huh?

Gilligan, tell him what happened in the cave.

It felt like a sharp pin was jabbed in my neck.

There, you see? A pin in the neck.

If that isn't voodoo, what is it?

It's simple. Gilligan was digging,

And he probably sprained a muscle.

Professor, gilligan doesn't have any muscles in his head.

Fat, maybe, but no muscles.

Well, that's the way they work it.

They make you feel that everything's ok,

And then, pow!

Well, how can it go pow when there's nobody there?

Gilligan, they make a doll that resembles the person.

Then they get a personal object from that person.

That's what puts the hex on 'em.

My lucky rabbit's foot. Maybe he's got my lucky rabbit's foot!

Exactly! They stick a pin in the doll, and the victim feels it.

I'm hexed. I'm hexed.

Whoa, whoa! What you gonna do?

I'm gonna get the hex out of here.

Skipper, you got that poor fella

Scared half to death.

Now, believe me, there isn't a voodoo witch doctor

Within , miles of here.

I feel like I've been locked all night

In a jewelry store.

Imagine a man giving a girl all of this

And asking nothing in return.

That's our gilligan.

[Gasps]

Isn't this beautiful?

How do I look?

Well, let me see.

[Gasps] uh-oh.

Oh. Oww...

W-we're stuck.

Maybe if we stand up.

Well, don't stand up, ginger. You'll strangle me!

Well, I can't keep staying like that.

Wait...wait...

Stand on your toes, can't you?

I'll try.

Ohh...

Oh! Oh!

Hold this.

I guess we're just gonna be stuck this way forever.

Thurston, the strangest thing has happened.

I left my lipstick on this table,

And it's disappeared. Did you take it?

I? Do I look like the kind of man

Who would use lipstick?

You know, speaking of missing articles,

My wallet is missing.

Oh, darling, I was talking about something important.

After all, what's in a wallet? Only money.

That's true, my dear, that's so true.

Uh, whatever is that?

It looks like a hubcap.

Gilligan found it in a cave and gave it to me.

Obviously costume jewelry.

Well, obviously.

Anything real would come from fifth avenue.

[Knocking on door]

Uh--uh, come in!

Mrs. Howell, I understand that gilligan--

Oh, I see you're wearing it.

Oh, yes, it's all right to wear around the hut,

But of course, not out in public.

That jewel's worth a fortune.

A fortune?

That's exactly what I was telling lovey.

But, thurston, you--

No, I said it was a perfect stone. Invaluable, my dear.

Oh, how marvelous!

Then tell gilligan, go dig up something else.

I need something to wear on my beige suit.

Gilligan, I've got to have

More of those relics for my museum.

I'm sorry, mr. Howell. I can't go back into that cave.

It's haunted. It's got a curse on it. Voodoo.

Voodoo? Don't be ridiculous.

You can laugh at voodoo,

But to me, it's a pain in the neck.

No, you've got to go back in that cave and dig for me.

Now, money is no object.

I'll pay you anything.

Cents an hour.

No, thanks.

Cents?

Cents?

I don't care if you give me $ an hour.

Don't even say that in jest.

It's more than my poor heart can stand.

Mr. Howell,

I'm afraid to go back in that cave.

Now, what are you afraid of? Spooks.

Spooks? There are no such thing as spooks.

Well, the cave is loaded with them.

Big ones, small ones, long arms--

Really? Yeah.

Wonder what they'd charge to work for me.

Hey, skipper, why don't you take your hat off?

Because I just want a trim, gilligan,

And I don't trust you.

Hey, you fellas seen my pocket Kn*fe?

It seems to have disappeared.

No, I haven't seen it. Have you, skipper?

Nope.

Hey, maybe it fell into the hole in your pocket.

I don't have a hole in my pocket.

You lost that, too, huh? Gilligan...

Perhaps I left it in the supply hut.

You know, skipper,

Everybody seems to be losing something.

I lost my rabbit's foot, mary ann lost her comb,

And the professor lost his pen Kn*fe.

Hey, skipper, you lost anything?

I'm about to lose something.

My patience!

Uh, gilligan, about those relics--

Uh-uh, mr. Howell, I'm not going back in that spooky cave again.

How about you, captain?

Interested in making a little extra?

Not interested.

Say, uh, uh, $ an hour?

Nope. ?

Forget it.

?

It's a deal.

You mean you're gonna take it?

No. You are.

Gilligan, you can forget about the haircut.

Right now you've got a date with a shovel in that cave.

But what about the voodoo? You're forgetting the curse.

I'm not forgetting it,

But $ can take the curse off anything. Come on!

Come on, gilligan.

Skipper, can't we talk this over?

There is nothing to discuss.

Yeah, but I can think of a lot of things.

Look, gilligan, will you just get in there?

I'm afraid.

Gilligan, I made a deal with mr. Howell,

And I never go back on my word.

Now, get in there.

Won't you come in there just a little ways?

All right, gilligan. Come on.

Ok, we've seen it. Now can we go back?

Let's go.

Girls, I intend to prove to you

That you have nothing to fear.

Oh, except voodoo and hexes.

Well, I am surprised at both of you.

Modern, normal, well-educated american girls

Afraid of a silly superstition?

That's right. That's us.

You can't let fear rule your lives.

[Shrieking]

Oh, yes, we can!

[Whistling]

Well, on the other hand,

A little fright never hurt anyone.

Oh, do we have to go in there?

Don't worry. As long as I'm with you,

You have nothing to be afraid of.

Just think, lovey,

In a few minutes, we'll have enough of those relics

To fill the howell museum.

Thurston, aren't you a wee bit nervous

About the voodoo and curses and all that sort of thing?

I'm a man of supreme courage.

No spook would dare tangle with thurston howell iii.

After you, my dear.

What marvelous work these natives did, thurston.

They really were way ahead of their time.

Yes, but what are they?

Well, obviously a pair of bookends.

Books weren't invented then.

Well, that's what I said. They were way ahead of their time.

Gilligan, what have you found?

A hungry old man?

No, gilligan. I think it's some sort of an idol,

And it's made out of solid gold!

Uh, don't forget, this is my expedition.

Uh, we're just shining it up, mr. Howell.

Gilligan, would you mind telling me,

What are you doing?

I don't know, skipper.

Well, cut it out!

I can't!

Gilligan, what does this mean?

I don't know, skipper. I felt like

I didn't have any control of myself.

Well, how do you explain that, professor?

Well, it's really quite simple

And based on the power of suggestion.

The seeds of fear were planted in your minds,

And you all succumbed to the notion

That voodoo and witch doctors really do exist.

Now, naturally, having read books

And seen motion pictures and television shows,

You all began to react to what you had seen.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Now, an excellent book--

Skipper, my feet are getting hot.

Yeah. So are mine.

Thurston, this is most uncomfortable.

Not only that. It hurts!

I'm getting out of here!

So am i. Women and children first!

[All shouting]

Whoa! Oh!

Ow! Ow!

Hey, skipper, look. A hole b*rned

Right through the bottom of my sneaker.

I know. That ground was hotter than a kitchen stove.

I tell you, little buddy, this whole island is bewitched!

There's only one thing we can do.

What's that?

Get off the island.

You're right, gilligan.

We'll pack up, we'll go aboard ship,

And we'll sail right to--

Oh, come on, wait a minute, gilligan.

We're shipwrecked, remember?

Yeah. I'll have to think of something else.

There's nothing else we can do, though.

The island's under a spell.

Oh, nonsense, skipper.

Superstitious nonsense.

Oh, I suppose you have

A logical explanation for this whole thing.

Well, as a matter of fact, I have.

I would say it was a geological phenomenon

Caused by volcanic activity

Beneath the earth's surface

Resulting in the concentration of heat

In a specific location.

That makes sense to me. There's only one thing I don't understand.

And what's that?

How come the ground got so hot underneath our feet?

Now, look, professor, I don't know anything about geology,

But I do know something about voodoo,

And what's been happening is voodoo with a capital "v."

Yeah, and a capital "oo" and a capital "doo."

Come on, professor, think about it.

This island must be full of evil influences.

You get 'em mad,

And there's no telling what'll happen to you.

I do not believe in evil spirits.

Now, I've told you time after time after ti--

Talking to him is like talking to a wall.

You notice anything different about the professor?

There's nothing different about the professor.

He's just as stubborn as he ever was.

I didn't know he could sleep standing up.

He's not sleeping.

Oh, yeah. His eyes are open.

Skipper: professor? Professor?

Maybe I should get an alarm clock

Or go "cock-a-doodle-do!"

He's not sleeping.

He's been turned into a zombie.

Zombie?

Help.

Help, somebody!

Help! Help!

Help, mrs. Howell!

Mrs. Howell, something terrible's happened!

The professor's been turned into a zombie!

Oh, how terrible. A zombie.

Thurston!

Yes? Yes, my dear, what is it?

What's a zombie?

What's a zombie?

Well, it's a-- rather, you see,

You take jiggers of rum

And then some... Some cooling ice

And fruit juice...

Why do you ask?

Well, the professor's just been turned into one.

Oh! Well, let's go see.

Maybe we could do something to help.

Yes. We could bring a couple of tall glasses.

Oh, the poor man.

There must be some way to snap him out of it.

Oh, it's awful.

Ginger, have you ever seen a man stare like that?

Just once. I was entertaining a bunch of gis

At an army camp.

We just can't stand here. We've got to do something.

Stand back, mary ann.

Ohh...

If that doesn't bring him back, nothing will.

Gilligan, I've got it--oof!

Sorry, skipper.

Look, gilligan,

I think I know how we can help the professor.

We'll make peace with the evil spirits

Who put the hex on him.

Yeah? How?

Well, it all started

When we took those relics out of the cave, right?

So we collect them all, put them back in,

And that ought to satisfy whoever's putting this curse on us.

Yeah. And once they're satisfied,

They'll de-zombie the professor.

De-zombie?

Unzombie.

Ex-zombie? Well, never mind.

Now, look, I want you to get over to the girls' hut

And collect all the stuff that you gave them.

I'll go over to the howells and collect their stuff.

Yeah. All right, come on. On your way.

Unzombie?

De-zombie?

Ex-zombie?

I wonder which one it is.

Dis-zombie!

Dat zombie?

Will you get over to the girls' hut?!

All right, gilligan, here.

You take the stuff...

Put it in there...

And I'll wait here.

Ok, skipper.

Wait a minute. How come I have to go in there?

What about you?

All right, gilligan.

You go in, and I'll wait here.

That's better.

Aah!

Gilligan, it's you.

Well, did you put everything back? Is everything all right?

I put everything back right where it belonged.

Oh, wonderful! I really feel better already.

Let's get out of here, skipper. It's really spooky.

Yeah. Ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Did I say something funny?

Ha ha ha ha ha!

What's the joke, skipper? Let me in on it.

[Continues laughing hysterically]

I don't see anything funny.

Ha--gilligan--ha ha!

Professor?

Professor.

Professor!

This is mrs. Howell iii speaking.

Mrs. Thurston howell.

Lovey.

You remember. We were shipwrecked together.

If you're a zombie, nod once.

If you're not a zombie, nod twice.

Oh, dear, professor,

If you won't cooperate, how on earth are we going to help you?

Thurston, he refuses to recognize me.

Well, of course, my dear. Don't you see?

He's a zombie.

Well, that's no excuse for bad manners.

Yeah. Well, come along to the cave.

Oh, don't go away. I have a plan

That's guaranteed to cure you.

But he won't talk at all. Not a word.

You know, I wonder if I could learn

How the witch doctors do that.

Well, whatever for?

Well, don't you see? Back home,

The howell factories, my dear...

, Employees,

None of them able to ask for a raise.

How heavenly!

Well, well. Here we are.

Hmm.

But, darling,

However do you expect to appease these evil spirits

When even the skipper has failed?

My dear, I have something in this case

That will placate even the most evil of spirits.

Oh, what is that?

Cash.

Oh, darling, how absolutely marvelous!

Yes, I am.

And besides, my dear, it's deductible.

Oh.

Coming, dear?

[Mrs. Howell speaking indistinctly]

Come on, professor, open up. Open your mouth.

It's yummy, yummy, yummy.

Come on, professor, it's really good. Come on, professor.

Gilligan, what are you doing?

I'm trying to snap the professor out of his trance.

I've got his favorite dish here,

Halibut in kumquat sauce.

Oh. No luck, though, huh?

No. I guess being a zombie kind of takes your appetite away.

Ginger: oh, skipper...

Yes, ginger?

I--i just thought of something that might help.

You know, I once made a movie in the south pacific

Called belly dancers from bali bali.

Well, that's fine, ginger,

But how's that gonna help the professor?

Well, in the movie, the hero was turned into a zombie,

And I cured him by doing a native dance.

Well, I don't think the professor's

In the mood to dance, but you can ask him.

Oh, I'm not going to dance with him, gilligan.

I'm going to dance for him.

It's, um, a special kind of a native dance.

Well, we've tried everything else.

I doubt that it's gonna work, though, ginger.

Gilligan: it might work, skipper.

I saw the movie times, and it worked every time.

[Drumming rapidly]

[Playing a drum b*at]

[Wind howling]

Oh, help! Gilligan, stop!

Is it working?

Did we break the spell?

Oh, I'm sorry. I've made a terrible mistake.

I was doing the wrong dance.

It was from a picture called

The rain dancers of rango rango.

[Thunder]

Oh...

Oh, the poor professor.

Is he still under the spell?

Yeah. Those evil spirits must be working overtime.

I'll tell you one thing that's--

Oh, mary ann...

Isn't that pin one of the relics?

Yeah. I gave it to her.

Well, but, uh, it should be going back

With the rest of the stuff.

Oh. Well, I didn't think

One teensy weensy little pin would hurt.

Well, certainly it matters, mary ann.

I mean, I've got to take this back.

Now, gilligan, hop over to the cave

And put that back with the rest of them.

Me? Why always me? Why can't we both go?

Because somebody's got to stay here

And keep an eye on the professor.

Oh, yeah.

Why can't I keep an eye on the professor?

Because you're going to be busy

Taking the pin back.

Oh, yeah. You're right.

Sorry.

Hey, those are cute.

Yeah.

And there's my rabbit's foot!

And the professor's Kn*fe.

And mary ann's comb, and--

Gee...

Uh-oh.

If that's supposed to be me,

I must say it isn't a very good likeness.

I look absolutely ghastly.

Oh, remember, my dear, we never had a sitting.

Whoever made these dolls had us in their power,

But now we've got the dolls back

And our personal possessions,

The spell is broken.

What about the professor? He's still a zombie.

Oh, but not for long.

What are you gonna do?

Where's his Kn*fe?

Once he sees that he's got his personal possession back,

The spell will be broken! Oh.

Well, if it isn't, I've got a place for him

In my organization.

Professor?

...ime after time after time

That voodoo spells and zombies

Are figments of the imagination.

Ha ha ha!

Well, there goes another source of cheap labor.

Professor: what is everyone laughing about?

Well, believe it or not, professor,

For the last hours, you've been a zombie.

Nonsense.

I just got through telling you

That that is nothing but native superstition.

There is no such thing as witch doctors,

Hexes, or curses.

By the way, how did I get wet?

Gilligan, what have you got there?

It's a witch doctor doll I made.

You made?

Yeah. I figured if he could do it to us,

I can do it to him.

Don't be ridiculous, gilligan.

For goodness sakes, it takes those witch doctors

Years of practice to make their voodoo work.

You mean nothing'll happen if I stick it with the pin?

That's exactly right. Nothing will happen.

Aah! Aah!

♪ Now this is the tale of our castaways ♪

♪ They're here for a long, long time ♪

♪ They'll have to make the best of things ♪

♪ It's an uphill climb ♪

♪ The first mate and his skipper, too ♪

♪ Will do their very best ♪

♪ To make the others comfortable ♪

♪ In the tropic island nest ♪

No phone... No lights...

♪ No motorcars, not a single luxury ♪

♪ Like robinson crusoe ♪

♪ It's primitive as can be ♪

♪ So join us here each week, my friends ♪

♪ You're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ From stranded castaways ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪