03x11 - The Invasion

[bunniefuu]

[Script info]

; This is an advanced sub station alpha v + script.

Title: gilligans island s e the invasion.dvdrip.hi.cc.eng

Scripttype: v . +

Collisions: normal

Playdepth:



[V + styles]

Format: name, fontname, fontsize, primarycolour, secondarycolour, outlinecolour, backcolour, bold, italic, underline, strikeout, scalex, scaley, spacing, angle, borderstyle, outline, shadow, alignment, marginl, marginr, marginv, encoding

Style: default,arial, ,&h ffffff,&h ffff,&h ,&h , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,



[Events]

Format: layer, start, end, style, name, marginl, marginr, marginv, effect, text

Gilligan, I've got a bite!

Where?

What do you mean "where"? Out there!

Gilligan!

Hey, skipper. I got a bite, too.

That's my bite!

No, it's my bite.

Looks like my bite got bitten.

Don't just stand there! Help me get him off the hook!

Hey, skipper? Looks like a square halibut.

Very funny.

Where do you suppose this came from?

It's a briefcase. It looks like it's just been arrested.

Might as well throw it back.

No, don't throw it away! It might be something of value.

What, this piece of junk?

Look what's stamped on it.

Hey, skipper, you are right. It is valuable.

"Genuine cowhide."

♪ Just sit right back, and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ A tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ That started from this tropic port ♪

♪ Aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ The mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ The skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ Passengers set sail that day for a -hour tour ♪

♪ A -hour tour ♪

[Thunder]

♪ The weather started getting rough ♪

♪ The tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ If not for the courage of the fearless crew ♪

♪ The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ The ship's aground on the shore of this ♪

♪ Uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ With gilligan ♪

♪ The skipper, too ♪

♪ The millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ The movie star ♪

♪ The professor and mary ann ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪

Captioning made possible by warner bros.

What a fantastic stroke of luck.

I think this attaché case

May lead to our rescue.

Well, but, professor, we don't even know what's it in yet.

Well, what's inside doesn't matter.

The case itself may get us home.

We go sailing home in that, it's going to be standing room only.

Well, it was obviously handcuffed to a secret agent.

I'm convinced that it contains

Vital state department secrets,

And washington will spare no expense in tracking it down.

I can't believe it!

Imagine being rescued after all this time.

Oh, thurston, it sounds too good to be true!

Pinch me, lovey, so I know it isn't a dream,

But not too hard. I bruise easily.

Professor, open it, open it, open it!

Oh, on the contrary. If the government finds it open,

We'd all be in serious trouble.

No, I'm convinced this case is top secret.

Well, then turn it over and open it there.

Maybe the bottom isn't secret.

Professor, open it! I'm dying of curiosity.

Oh, so am i!

[All talking at once]

Listen! I know it's human nature to be curious,

But we've simply got to forget about this case.

Now I want you all to promise me by saying aye.

Aye. Aye.

Aye. Aye. Aye.

Ay-yi-yi! I've gotta figure out what's in that case!

Gilligan! Would you go to sleep?

I can't, skipper. Didn't you hear the professor say

It's human nature to be curious?

Yeah, well, what's human nature got to do with you?

Forget about that case and go to sleep.

There could be anything in that case.

For the last time, go to sleep!

I saw a movie about a secret agent once.

He had a special briefcase.

He pushed a button, and out came a machine g*n.

[Imitating g*n fire] cut that out!

And then he pulled out this little stopper, and...

[Whistling]

His briefcase inflated into an aircraft carrier.

His briefcase inflated into an aircraft carrier?

I suppose his billfold opened up into a plane.

You saw the same movie, huh?

Gilligan, will you cut that out?

Now we all agreed to leave that briefcase alone.

Now go to sleep! Uh-huh.

But I'd sure like to sneak over to the professor's hut

And take a peek inside it.

You'll do no such thing!

Now forget that case, and that's an order! Do you read me?

Aye, aye, skipper. Good night.

Good night!

Aircraft carriers, machine g*ns...heh!

Comic book stuff!

Of course, a few years ago...

Ships to the moon and all, that was comic book stuff.

Robots and... Rocket ships to mars...

Gilligan, don't just lie there!

Let's go over to the professor's hut and take a peek.

Where are you going, ginger?

No place. No place?

Well, I was a little hungry,

And I thought I'd make myself

A peanut butter and briefcase sandwich.

I mean--

What you mean is you're as curious

About what's in that briefcase as I am.

What do you suppose is in it?

You know, dear, I suppose I'm very silly,

But I do want to know what's in that case.

In that case, what are we waiting for?

Oh!

What on earth are you doing in that odd getup?

Put out a saucer of milk, mother. The cat burglar prowls again!

Aah!

Shh! You wanna wake up the professor?

Don't worry, skipper. You won't hear a peep out of me.

[Peep]

Gilligan!

That wasn't me peeping, skipper. That was him.

[Peeping]

Shh!

You'd think by this time of the night,

He'd be too pooped to peep.

I guess the professor put the cage

On top of the briefcase, probably figuring

That the birds will make noise.

How about that! A watchbird.

Yes, gilligan. Come on now, quietly.

You step up on the stool and lift the birdcage,

And I'll grab the briefcase.

Yeah, right.

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Who's there?

Me, professor.

I thought I saw somebody sneaking around in your hut.

Well, obviously somebody was.

Well, just a minute, professor.

I mean, somebody could have been sneaking around in here.

Couldn't they?

Yes, perhaps even a man from mars.

Remember the plan?

Yeah. You're going to go in there and distract the professor,

You're going to put the hook on the briefcase,

And I'm going to reel it in.

Do you think you can handle it?

Believe me, for this kind of fishing,

I've got the right kind of bait.

You're a watchbird, aren't you? [Whistles]

[Tweeting]

Hi, professor.

Ginger! What are you doing up at this hour?

Oh, I couldn't sleep,

And, uh, I was afraid of waking mary ann.

Then I saw that beautiful moon outside,

And I thought, what a perfect night for romance.

I don't want to doubt you, ginger,

But could there be another reason why you're here?

Well, what other reason

Could there possibly be?

Isn't it enough that I'm here,

And you're here?

And the case is here?

And the case is here--

Oh, professor! Why, I'm shocked and surprised

That you'd suspect such a thing!

Why, I'm overwrought!

I'm overcome, I'm--i'm--i'm overwhelmed!

And you're overacting.

Now, ginger, you just go on to bed,

And you forget all about that case.

Well, all right, professor,

But I just want you to know

I'm the last person in the world

Who'd try to steal it.

Well, I hope so, because in one night

Is just about all I can take!

Well, good evening, professor.

Hello, mrs. Howell. And what are you doing here?

Well, when I saw the skipper and gilligan and ginger

Tramping in and out of here, I became indignant.

After all, this isn't grand central station!

Perhaps it's not grand central station,

But everyone is trying to claim

The same piece of luggage!

Oh, you mean they're all trying to steal

That poor little attaché case?

Oh, for shame, for shame!

Well, perhaps it's not stealing, mrs. Howell,

But they have a curiosity about what's inside.

Oh, well, frankly, professor,

I wouldn't treat their curiosity lightly.

I found out from one of my psychiatrists

That being over-curious is a sickness.

Oh, he actually told you that?

Oh, no, no, no! I peeked into his notes about me.

I see.

Is the hook on?

Yes, everything's fine. Ok.

Hello, mr. Howell.

Oh, hello there!

Oh!

So you were trying to steal the case.

How shocking!

Simply can't trust anyone these days, can you?

More seagull eggs, skipper?

No, thank you, mary ann.

I've already had a dozen of them already.

Eat another dozen and walk them off.

If he eats another dozen of those seagull eggs,

He can fly them off.

Good morning, professor.

Would you like some breakfast?

No, no, no. I am not here to eat breakfast.

I want all of you to know

That the attaché case is missing,

And until it is recovered, you are all suspects.

Does that mean none of us can leave the island?

Now, I'm going to put the same question

To each one of you.

Mr. Howell, did you sneak that case out of my hut?

How dare you make such an accusation!

You think I became the head of a dozen international corporations

By stooping to thievery?

Well, of course not.

Shows how naive you are!

How else do you get to the top of the financial jungle?

Of course I took it!

Oh, thurston, how marvelous!

Well, thank you for confessing, mr. Howell.

Now where is it?

In my wine cabinet, and I'll go get it.

Don't bother, mr. Howell.

Mary ann and I saw you hide it,

And we sneaked it out.

We haven't opened it yet.

It's in the food locker. I'll go get it.

Never mind, mary ann. It's no longer in the food locker.

You mean you saw us hide it?

Exactly, and I put it in my sea bag,

So I'll go get it right away--

Don't bother, skipper.

'Cause here it is.

Well!

Thank you, gilligan.

Now do you know what I'm going to do with this case?

It's ok if you want to hide it, professor.

It is your turn.

Since you're all so curious,

Strong steps must be taken to protect it.

It's far too important--

Good heavens!

What's in there? What's in there? What was that?

What is it?

A top secret file in there entitled,

"United states defense plans against secret att*ck."

We're not going to att*ck anyone,

So let's look!

But don't you see? This was probably taken

From a united states secret agent.

He probably gave his life defending it.

And the enemy agents who k*lled him

Are undoubtedly still after it.

You mean they may come to this island

To look for the case?

In their efforts to uncover united states defense plans

They will leave no stone unturned.

What are we gonna do?

Don't hide under a stone.

Gilligan!

Ok, I'll hide it under a stone, skipper.

Put that down now before you lose it!

Skipper, I won't lose it. See? It's got a handcuff,

And I'll just put it on my wrist like this, see,

And snap it, then I can't lose it--

I also can't get loose.

Gilligan, now you've done it!

When those spies come back here

To find this briefcase,

They're going to find you handcuffed to it,

And they're going to k*ll you

For knowing too much!

He's right, gilligan.

They're gonna k*ll me for knowing too much?

That's the first time I've been accused of that.

Are you positive enemy spies are after this case?

Well, it all adds up, gilligan.

Secret u.s. Defense plans, broken handcuff...

Our enemies are bound to come after this case.

They're desperate.

Not as desperate as I am.

How are you doing, professor?

I'm afraid this isn't going to work, skipper.

What we need is a skeleton key.

If you don't get this case off me,

You're going to have a skeleton me!

Hi. Hello, ginger.

No luck yet, huh?

We've had luck, but it's all been bad.

Well, we brought something that might help out.

It's crushed banana peel oil.

If you put a little on gilligan's wrist,

The handcuff might slip off.

Here, let's try.

Ow! It's hot!

Gilligan!

You're a walking disaster area!

I'll clean it up, skipper.

Never mind! I've got an idea.

Come over here to this tree.

Gilligan, you stand right there.

Uh, professor, would you give us a hand, please?

Now, gilligan will grab onto the tree and hang on to it.

We will pull on the briefcase

And pull the handcuff right over his wrist.

All right? Now hang on good, gilligan.

You ready? Mm-hmm.

Professor...

... ... ...

Heave!

Hours and I still haven't been able to pick this lock.

You would've made a crummy crook.

I don't know if this can be of any help,

But mrs. Howell and I happen to have some keys right here.

One of those should fit.

Why do you carry so many keys?

Because we own so many things.

This is to our house in florida.

And this is to our house in maine, yes.

This is to our house in california.

And this is to our house in texas.

How many houses do you have?

.

, My dear, since we let hawaii and alaska join the club.

Gilligan, house keys are useless.

Handcuff keys are specially designed.

Professor, we have to do something fast.

Those spies will be here any minute and they're going to k*ll me.

I'm doomed! I'm doomed!

Doomed! Doomed, doomed! Doomed!

Gilligan, why don't you get some sleep?

How can I go to sleep

When I know spies are coming to k*ll me?

[Laughs] don't you worry, little buddy.

I'm guarding you.

If the spies come,

I'll fight 'em, I'll smash 'em...

And...

[Snoring]

I know, you'll snore 'em to death.

I'd be a spy myself... Secret agent.

Yeah, then I wouldn't need any help.

Yeah. Secret agent gilligan...yeah...

Secret...agent... Gilligan...

Woman on intercom: yes, chief?

Send in agent .

Here, chief. Ready for another exciting secret mission.

, Your mission today

Is to get this attaché case

Through to the secretary of defense.

Now, it's a very dangerous mission,

And you could be k*lled.

Oh, well. That's spy biz.

You feel up to it? Of course.

You are talking to the greatest secret agent since beethoven.

I didn't know beethoven was a secret agent.

You see how great he was?

Well, in any case,

We've provided you with a weapons arsenal.

Chief, I don't need a weapons arsenal.

I have my own, see?

You call that a weapons arsenal? A comb?!

It's not a comb, chief.

It's a radio/telephone/radar unit.

Good heavens!

And that razor?

This is a p*stol, designed for use at close quarters.

Every b*llet is guaranteed to give at least close shaves.

Heavens to betsy! And what's that, a nail file?

I'll show you, chief. sh**t me.

What?

You heard me, chief. sh**t me! As you wish.

You see, chief?

A powerful anti-b*llet magnetic shield.

Why, that's fantastic. A radio/telephone/radar unit,

Razor p*stol, and a magnetized anti-b*llet shield

All in a toilet case.

Wait a minute, wait a minute. What is that?

A toothbrush.

I promised my mother I'd brush my teeth after every mission.

Oh.

All right, , you're on your way.

But remember, our archenemy, e-v-i-l--

Evil? That's right!

Knows all about this mission.

Next to me and beethoven,

Mr. Evil is the greatest spy in the biz.

Now there's one more thing.

Should evil get you into a very tight spot,

There is one thing to do.

You merely press this button,

The case blows up,

And you blow up, too.

That's a comfort, chief.

All right, .

Let's go over the mission once more.

Evil agent calling headquarters.

Yes, evil agent ?

Good guy agent

Will be coming through the door any minute

With an attaché case.

I'm prepared to dispose of him.

Good. Don't forget,

It's vital to get him with the first b*llet.

Oh, yes, master.

Don't forget, b*ll*ts are not tax deductible.

Yes, master.

Mary ann, please phone the parking lot

And tell them to get my car ready.

Oh, yes, master-- I mean, it's already been taken care of.

Good. I'm off on another mission

As soon as I kiss my fiancee good-bye.

But first, you better kiss yourself good-bye.

What are you doing with that chrysanthemum?

Oh, it's just not an ordinary chrysanthemum, my friend.

It's a . Caliber chrysanthemum.

Oh, no.

Afraid of b*ll*ts, ?

No, allergic to chrysanthemums.

Oh! You got me!

You got me! I'm going...

I'm going...i'm going...

Before you go, mary ann,

Would you validate my parking ticket?

Thank you.

[Buzzer]

Oh, dear! The hot line.

Yes?

Evil agent , please.

Well, this is agent . Can't you see?

Well, how can I see through all this barley?

Sorry about that, chief.

Listen. Evil agent failed.

Good guy is on his way to see you.

You have plans to dispose of him, of course?

Oh, o-of course!

Um, the steak is full of arsenic,

And, uh, the sauterne is full of strychnine.

Ecch! Ghastly! No, no, no!

What's wrong? Do you object to poisoning him?

No, I object to white wine served with meat.

Oh, then I'll have to use operation .

I've applied a coat of this poisonous lipstick

That's designed especially to react

On agent 's chemical composition,

And it'll surely destroy him.

Oh, good, good! The kiss of death!

[Doorbell rings]

Oh, that's agent now.

Remember, the future of our evil organization depends on you.

[Doorbell rings]

I'd better get the door.

Our future, your future,

The entire future of the evil organization

Depends on the fact that you make good guy ,

Reduce him to a zero, understand?

Remember our motto...

[Gurgling and mumbling]

Hello.

Darling.

I'm off on another good guy secret mission.

Let me tell you about it.

First kiss, then tell.

You know us secret agents never kiss and tell.

My hero.

How do you feel?

In the pink.

Cherry blossom pink, to be exact.

Ohh! Ohh!

I kissed you so hard my poison lipstick kicked back.

But it didn't do anything to you.

How come?

So many women try to kiss us secret agents,

We have to carry special protection...

Lip guards.

Oh, I'm going, ...

I'm...gone...

Oh, well. I never did believe in long engagements.

My hat.

Sorry about that.

Me, too!

Mother?

Here, sonny boy. Where are you?