03x20 - Our Vines Have Tender Apes

[bunniefuu]

Somebody's been eating my fruit!

And somebody's been sitting in my chair!

Somebody's been sleeping in my hammock,

And that somebody is still there!

[Growling]

[Tarzan yell]

♪ Just sit right back, and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ A tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ That started from this tropic port ♪

♪ Aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ The mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ The skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ Passengers set sail that day for a -hour tour ♪

♪ A -hour tour ♪

[Thunder]

♪ The weather started getting rough ♪

♪ The tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ If not for the courage of the fearless crew ♪

♪ The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ The ship's aground on the shore of this ♪

♪ Uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ With gilligan ♪

♪ The skipper, too ♪

♪ The millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ The movie star ♪

♪ The professor and mary ann ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪

Captioning made possible by warner bros.

Boy, I sure am glad that's over with.

Hours to mend a fishnet. Ha ha!

Yeah. Well, that ought to hold a few weeks.

Skipper! Skipper, oh, skipper!

Oh, skipper! Oh, skipper!

No! Gilligan!

What are you doing?

Skipper, I saw an ape! I mean, I saw a man!

I mean, I saw an ape-man! I saw a man-ape!

You what?

I don't care what he saw.

Gilligan, you just ruined hours of work

On this net.

You should've seen him. He was feet tall.

He had shoulders way out to here!

And he ate my fruit, and he sat in my chair.

He was in my hammock, and he went...

[Imitates tarzan yell]

[Coughing]

An ape?

No, it was a man.

It was an ape-man. I-i-it was a man-ape.

Gilligan, it couldn't have been an ape-man. There is no such thing.

Gilligan looks a little glassy-eyed, doesn't he?

He looks like he's in shock.

Take it easy, little buddy.

Tell us what it really looked like.

[Tarzan yell]

Gilligan!

See? I told you.

There you are.

To you, my dear. First today.

Thank you, darling.

What did you put in the drink, my dear?

The usual.

I thought an ape just jumped over us.

That's odd. I thought a man just jumped over us.

Ginger, fresh pineapple juice for breakfast.

Mmm. Delicious.

That should be enough.

I can never get over this jungle supermarket.

The only thing missing is trading stamps.

Grraah!

Aah! Aah!

Y-you know, I still don't understand

Why we're out looking for him.

Well, mr. Howell, would you rather be

Back at the hut with the women?

Well, now that you bring it up, yes. Yes!

We can't sit around in fear of our lives.

We're going to have to capture him.

Capture him? I thought we were just looking for him.

I'll see you later.

Come back here, gilligan.

No. Let him stand on somebody else's chest.

Well, there are of us, and we've got weapons.

Although I must confess, mr. Howell,

I don't know what good an umbrella is.

What good is it?

Why, if that cut-rate tarzan comes near me,

I'll separate his tar from his zan!

Well, it don't do any good just standing around here gabbing.

Let's get going. Ha ha!

Forward!

Wait a minute. My umbrella.

I left my umbrella back there.

I'll get it for you.

Wait, gilligan! Come back here--

[Yells]

What is it? What's the matter?

Aah!

What? What? What?

I found him-- I mean, he found me. We found each other.

Where? Where? Who? Who?

Right over there!

Where? Where?

[Tarzan yell]

Get under here!

Oh! Ow!

It was awful, lovey.

It just kept raining coconuts.

That creature or beast, whatever it is,

Kept throwing coconuts at us.

Oh, my poor darling.

What a dreadful experience.

Yes. I think it bruised my patrician head.

Here...i think he flattened one of your hairs!

And you have so few.

Oh, thurston, how can you think of golf

When we're all in such terrible danger?

I'm not, my dear. I'm choosing a w*apon.

Oh, thurston, haven't you any fear?

My dear, a howell wouldn't even know

How to spell the word "fear."

Grr!

Oh! Fear, f-e-a-r, fear!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

How dare you!

That's mr. Howell's custom-made niblick.

And aren't you ashamed,

Frightening poor mr. Howell?

And really, if I were you, I'd change tailors.

Out! Out! Out!

Out! Or I'll forget that I'm a howell!

Oh...there, there, dear.

That nasty overgrown monkey is all gone.

Lucky for him that I fainted.

Yes, it is.

Hand me the eyebrow pencil, will you, ginger?

Why do you suppose an ape-man

Would want to carry us off?

Oh, I don't know.

Well, he's only half ape.

The other part is man.

How do I look?

Terrible!

Good! We have to make ourselves as ugly as possible

So he'll leave us alone.

I think you're safe now.

Here, let me work on you.

Oh, that wouldn't do any good.

There's just no way to make me ugly.

Why don't we barricade the door?

Hey, that's a great idea!

And then he'll leave us both alone.

Give me a hand with this.

Mmm. I feel safer already.

Well, me, too, but not safe enough yet.

Ginger: the men must've caught him by now.

Mary ann: do you really think so?

Yeah...but let's not take any chances.

Say, ginger...

Have you thought at all about how he got here?

Hm? Ginger?

Grr! Aah!

Aah!

Stay where you are.

D-don't come any closer.

Aah! Don't touch me!

Don't touch me...

[Grunting]

Don't touch me.

[Grunts]

No, thanks. I never drink before dinner.

Grr!

Don't mind if I do.

My name is, uh, ginger.

[Grunts]

Hi.

[Grunts]

[Imitates grunt]

[Exchanging grunts]

Uh...

Ginger.

Gin-ger.

Unh! Gin--

No, no, no.

Gin...ger.

Ahh...

Ginger!

Well, at least you got the ginger right.

[Chuckling]

Ginger!

I see I'm gonna have to change my name.

Uh...

What's your name?

Huh?

Uh...

Ginger...

You...name.

Ohh...

Ginger...

Tongo!

Tongo!

Tongo! Tongo...

Ginger!

Oh!

Now, we're getting near the caves.

Look for tracks, broken twigs...

Perhaps even a shred of clothing on a tree limb.

Not only that, but I'd look for ginger, too.

Well, tongo, uh, it's been very nice meeting you. Uh...

Maybe we'll meet again sometime at the zoo.

I thought you were part ape, not part wolf.

Skipper: ginger!

Ginger!

Ginger!

Ginger, shout if you can hear us!

No! Absolutely no!

But, ginger, there won't be any danger.

We'll be right there.

No danger? I hit him pretty hard with that coconut,

But by the time we got back to the cave, he was gone.

Ginger, we don't have a choice.

Now, we've got to lure him into a trap,

And he seems to be attracted to you.

Well, I'm not attracted to him!

Now, look, I admit, back in hollywood,

I dated some swingers,

But they didn't swing from trees.

Professor, what are we gonna do?

Someone'll have to bait the trap.

Hi!

What's going on?

We got him!

We--we got him, too!

Oh, he may be caged, but I'm scared to death!

I sure hope those bars hold.

I'd hate to wake up in the middle of the night

And find out we were m*rder*d in our sleep

In the morning.

Don't worry, gilligan, they've all been reinforced.

It'll hold him.

Now perhaps we'd better get some sleep.

We only seem to be infuriating him out here.

Yes. Come on. Good night!

Watch him!

My third night on the island.

I didn't think it possible...

But they caught me.

While I haven't seen her for some time,

I think the redhead is ginger grant,

The actress who was reported missing at sea.

I've got to try to keep fooling her...

And the rest of them.

If I can do that...

I know I'll be the best ape-man

The movies have ever seen.

Playing tongo the ape-man is my big chance!

And fooling these people

Is greater experience

Than any actor could ever hope for!

I'll--

[Twigs cr*ck]

You want a drink?

Drink. [Slurps] do you get it?

Drink? Do you get it?

Drink! You get it?

Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

I...

Don't think he got it.

Here. Listen...

You tongo...

And gilligan.

Hrah.

Ginger.

No, no.

Gilligan.

And tongo.

Gill-i-gan?

Yeah!

He said my name. Gilligan!

Gill-i-gan?

Oh, the others won't believe it! Gilligan!

Gilligan! Gilligan!

Gilligan, yeah! Gilligan!

Gilligan! Gilligan!

It looks like gilligan's trying to talk to him.

Huh! For the first time in his life,

Gilligan's ahead of us.

Tongo, gilligan,

Boys.

Boys?

Yeah. And ginger,

Girl.

Girl?

Yeah. Girl.

Gilligan, boy.

Till this minute, I didn't know

If gilligan knew the difference.

Well, at any rate, he's doing a great job with tongo.

Professor: gilligan.

Ginger and I came over to see

If we could find some way of communicating with tongo,

And there you were, talking to him.

Unh... Ginger!

[Imitating monkey] hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

I didn't mean to teach him that.

I think he understands and wants to be friends.

He sure wants to be friends with ginger.

I think he'd learn a lot more quickly

If we let him out of the cage.

Well, perhaps so.

But we'd better be ready to slam the door

In case anything happens.

[Unlocking door]

He trusts us!

Why, I think we can teach him anything.

My dear, look at those classic features,

That bone structure!

Hmm...there's no doubt about it.

He must come from a fine family.

And even when he grunts...

Detect, uh, just a trace of harvard.

Breeding will tell.

You know, dear, even if you'd been born an ape,

You'd still be a howell.

A bit hairy, but a howell.

Oh, yes.

Aw, the poor dear. He must be hungry.

Here you are.

Now we'll see where he comes from.

If he eats with the fork in his left hand,

That indicates a european background.

If in his right, he's american.

Heavens! A yale man!

Thank you, dear.

Say, but this is--

Oh, he's very generous, you know.

Island.

Island.

Gimme.

This is water.

There. Maybe he'll recognize it if he sees water.

Maybe the water will help him recognize the island?

Gilligan, that's ridiculous!

Island!

Island!

You see, skipper?

Well, it was just a coincidence.

Well, that must be the island he came from.

Uh, tongo...

Did...you...come... By...boat?

Boat. Boat!

Yeah, a boat. A boat.

[Imitates outboard motor]

[Imitates gilligan]

Boat.

Another coincidence, skipper?

Well, nobody likes a wise guy.

Where...is... Tongo's...boat?

Boat.

Tongo. Ha!

Why, that's fantastic!

We've just taught him to communicate!

He's just told us

That there's a boat on the other island.

But, professor, he's on this island.

How'd he get here?

Maybe he swam.

You know, swim?

Swim? Yes, swim.

Ahh...swim.

Uh, tongo swim...

Back to island.

Oh. Tongo...

Swim island.

Skipper, do you realize what this means?

We can give him a note to take back with him.

Somebody'll read it, and they'll send a boat back to rescue us.

Professor, you're a genius!

Yeah, but there's one thing that might stop us.

What's that, gilligan?

Uh...that...

Maybe it's tongo's mother.

[Screeching]

It's not my mother!

I never saw it before in my life!

Aah!

He just--he talks!

Yes, and--and he spoke in english.

He sure learned fast.

Well, I don't get it.

Oh, look, he dropped something.

What is it?

Well, looks like a miniature tape recorder.

Maybe this can tell us something.

I wonder which one dropped it.

Tongo dropped it!

Tongo, on tape recorder: while I haven't seen her for some time,

I think the redhead is ginger grant,

The actress who was reported missing at sea.

I've got to try to keep fooling her

And the rest of them.

If I can do that, I know I'll be

The best ape-man the movies have ever seen.

Playing tongo the ape-man is my big chance!

And fooling these people

Is greater experience

Than any actor could ever hope for!

I'll--

Why, he's just practicing to be the star

Of an ape-man movie.

Well, he certainly fooled me.

I was never taken in.

No ape can ever grunt like a harvard man.

Well, whatever he's done, we're gonna have to

Figure out a way to rescue him.

Rescue him? Why, he got what's coming to him!

But don't you see? He must've landed here by boat,

And the same boat will undoubtedly come back to pick him up.

Why, that's right. His turning out to be a phony

Is better for us.

But how can we rescue him?

Well, we're gonna have to lure the gorilla away.

What do you use to lure a gorilla?

If we could just find out what a gorilla is fond of.

Another gorilla!

Where are we gonna find another gorilla?

Oh, my poor, poor furs.

How do I look?

Not bad.

Not bad? I'll have you know

There's not a better-dressed gorilla in town.

Mrs. Howell's right.

On the bottom, he's red and black fox.

And on the top, he's beaver and mink.

Yeah. When you put me all together,

I'll be a red back flox beaver-blink.

Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Now, look--

Hrah! Hrah!

[Screeching]

Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Hrah!

If I may offer a sugg--

All: shh!

Gilligan, are they in there?

Tongo's there, and the gorilla's there,

But I don't know what I'm doing here.

Gilligan, our getting off the island

Depends entirely upon you!

That's right. Now, all you have to do

Is to attract the gorilla away from tongo.

Then what do you do?

Then we'll rescue tongo.

Who'll rescue me?

Stop worrying about that.

Now, get out there and start acting like an ape.

[Grunting]

Hrah!

[Grunting]

[Chattering]

[Roars]

[Roars]

Come on, professor! That gorilla'll k*ll him!

Tongo!

Tongo, you can come out now.

Uhh! Uhh!

Oh, you can forget about the uhh! Uhh!

We found the tape recorder.

Oh, well, look, ha!

I can explain all that. You see--

Oh, never mind that. You can rescue us.

Oh, and it's a marvelous time to be rescued.

Just before the beginning of the opera season!

Tongo: oh! Don't let him take me!

No, don't!

Oh, but, tongo, that's--

Oh! Please! Please! Keep him away from me!

Oh, really, mr. Kongo,

How can you be so rude?

Oh, that's gilligan!

Oh, take them! Don't take me!

You see, tongo, it's just me.

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

[Screeching]

Where could tongo have gone?

Maybe he's too embarrassed to face us.

Well, I don't blame him, the way he's dressed.

You didn't find him?

We didn't even find a trace of him.

We couldn't even find a trace of a trace.

[Helicopter approaching]

A helicopter!

It must be tongo!

He's coming to rescue us!

I wish he'd turn that fan off

Before he ruins my hair!

Tongo! Hey, tongo!

I think he threw something down!

Uh-huh!

It's a note.

Oh, read it, read it, professor. What does it say?

What does it say? Read it! Read it!

Gilligan, will you be quiet

So he can tell you?

Uhh... "I'm sorry,

"But I can't take you back with me.

"If the story ever got out

"About the way I behaved with the gorilla,

It would ruin my career as the ape-man."

We won't tell anyone!

No! Come back!

[All shouting]

Oh, no!

We won't tell anyone!

Yeah! Come back!

Hey, somebody's been eating my fruit!

And somebody's been sitting in my chair!

Somebody's been sleeping in my hammock,

And that somebody is still there!

It's tongo. He came back!

Hey, tongo--

[Screeching]

♪ Now this is the tale of our castaways ♪

♪ They're here for a long, long time ♪

♪ They'll have to make the best of things ♪

♪ It's an uphill climb ♪

♪ The first mate and his skipper, too ♪

♪ Will do their very best ♪

♪ To make the others comfortable ♪

♪ In a tropic island nest ♪

No phone... No lights...

♪ No motorcars, not a single luxury ♪

♪ Like robinson crusoe ♪

♪ It's primitive as can be ♪

♪ So join us here each week, my friends ♪

♪ You're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ From stranded castaways ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪