03x29 - Bang! Bang! Bang!

[bunniefuu]

♪ Just sit right back, and you'll hear a tale ♪

♪ A tale of a fateful trip ♪

♪ That started from this tropic port ♪

♪ Aboard this tiny ship ♪

♪ The mate was a mighty sailin' man ♪

♪ The skipper brave and sure ♪

♪ Passengers set sail that day for a -hour tour ♪

♪ A -hour tour ♪

[Thunder]

♪ The weather started getting rough ♪

♪ The tiny ship was tossed ♪

♪ If not for the courage of the fearless crew ♪

♪ The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost ♪

♪ The ship's aground on the shore of this ♪

♪ Uncharted desert isle ♪

♪ With gilligan ♪

♪ The skipper, too ♪

♪ The millionaire and his wife ♪

♪ The movie star ♪

♪ The professor, and mary ann ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪

[Knock on door]

Yes. Who's there?

Man: hartley.

Come in.

Mr. Hartley.

Hello, parsons.

Parsons, this is agent michaels.

Michaels.

Agent michaels has been assigned to operation orchid.

Ahem.

Can you fill him in on these new expl*sive thermoplastics?

Yes, sir.

Those are expl*sives?

Very powerful expl*sives.

This ashtray, for example--

But better yet, let me show you.

The expl*si*n you just saw

Was accomplished by one of our secret agents.

He blew up his objective with an ashtray,

An exact duplicate of this one here.

Well, I'd hate to put a cigarette out in this ashtray.

Heat would not have exploded it,

Only impact.

Let me show you something.

In its original form, this plastic can be stretched, pounded,

Molded, anything, and it won't explode,

But once it hardens, it becomes a very powerful expl*sive.

This glass could be used as a glass.

You could drink from it, wash it.

Just don't drop it.

Any impact will cause it to explode.

Amazing.

And how much of this plastic is available?

Only about pounds.

There was another -pound container,

But it washed overboard during a storm at sea.

You're sure it didn't fall into enemy hands?

Positive. It was lost in the pacific,

Hundreds of miles from the nearest land.

Look.

This looks like we found something real good this time, huh?

[Monkey chattering]

Guess what I found.

I know what you found.

How do you know? I don't even know yet.

You found a way out of helping me fix the hut.

No. I found this in the lagoon.

It might be something important.

Oh, I'm sure it is. I'm sure it's real important.

Like last week, you found a box of old clothes

That was rejected by the salvation army.

And then the week before that,

You found decks of playing cards

With all the numbers washed off 'em. Real important stuff.

I tell you, whatever it is, gilligan, it's junk.

But you haven't even looked yet.

I don't have to look at it.

I tell you, it's junk.

Why, it's a synthetic resin,

Phenylformaldehyde.

Does that mean it's junk?

Far from it.

It's a type of plastic that can be molded into many things--

Everyday things like combs, buttons,

Costume jewelry, test tubes...

Useful things, such as vacuum tubes used to preserve food.

All it has to do is dry until it hardens.

You also can make rabbits.

What? See?

Oh, yes. You can make rabbits.

Where are you going?

To tell the others. I have a feeling

This little rabbit will bring us luck.

Hippity-hop! Hippity-hop! Ow!

Mr. Howell, would you pass the papaya, please?

The papaya.

Gilligan, you had breakfast.

Then, I'll have lunch.

But this is breakfast.

I'll take it.

Gilligan's been working up an appetite

Collecting more junk.

It's not junk. It's this.

Professor says some kind of special plastic.

You make all kinds of things out of it,

Like I made this bunny rabbit.

You'd make a bunny rabbit, wouldn't you?

You and your harebrained schemes.

But they make dishes out of plastic.

We won't have to eat off of wooden plates anymore.

Sure, and they make costume jewelry...

Bracelets, brooches, bangles, and beads.

Mr. Howell: dishes and jewelry?

I wonder if it can be used for something really vital?

Like what?

Golf balls.

Humiliating playing without a caddy,

But good to be on the links once again.

Oh, thurston, isn't this marvelous?

My very first game of golf.

And with a brand-new plastic golf ball.

Lovey, my dear,

Pretty soon you'll have the unforgettable thrill

Of knocking a golf ball-- boom!--

Right down the fairway.

Now, the first thing you use, my dear, is your driver.

My driver? Don't be silly, darling.

You know perfectly well my chauffeur is back home.

I believe his name was charles, wasn't it?

No, darling. I'm talking about clubs.

Of course. He drove us to all the very best clubs.

It's all right. Here you are.

Sorry I even brought it up.

There you are. There's the driver.

Now, the first thing you do is get a good grip,

And then you address the ball.

Hello, ball.

Bring it back, and don't forget

You have a brand-new plastic ball to aim at.

There you go.

Oh, well.

I have more strikes anyway, don't i?

No, my dear. That's baseball.

Stand over there and watch me.

Watch me very, very closely.

I'm gonna hit this little ball so hard.

Thurston!

[Grunts]

Isn't that gilligan's little friend?

Oh, maybe he wants to play, too.

No. He's not a member of the club.

Now get away, shoo, off the premises.

He stole the ball. Come back with that ball, you scamp!

[Screeching]

Darling, it's only a little golf ball.

It's the only one we have.

The others haven't even hardened yet.

Oh, thurston, I think golf is such a marvelous game.

How would you know?

We're not even off the first tee.

Well, never mind. We'll try again at : .

: ?

Well, isn't that the right time for tea?

That's odd--

Thunder, and not a cloud in the sky.

Well, you know what they say about thunder.

What do they say?

Oh, I don't know,

But I thought perhaps you did.

Ginger, look, I think I've got the hang of it.

Terrific. Oh, I wish I could do things like this,

But I don't have any skills,

Just beauty.

Wait till you see the jewelry I made.

It'll make you look even prettier.

Oh. It's not quite dry yet.

How does it look?

Hey, great.

Wait till you wear it. It'll knock your eyes out.

Hi, ginger. Hi.

Hi, mary ann. Hi, gilligan.

Oh. Gee, those are nice-looking plates.

What's that?

That is a cup.

Looks like it has mumps.

Oh.

Be careful, gilligan. You'll break them.

Oh, no. If there's one thing I'm really good at,

It's juggling. Here, watch this now.

Ok, give me the plate.

Come on, give me the plate.

[Hisses]

Don't be mad at me.

Now, give me the plate.

[Screeches]

I don't know what that means in monkey talk,

But it's very impolite in people talk.

Don't worry! I'll get it back!

[Screeches]

[Imitates monkey]

[Hoots]

You don't like it when somebody else does it to you, do you?

Thanks a lot for these plastic nails, professor.

I don't think they're hard enough to go through wood,

But I'm sure you can nail palm fronds with them.

I'll try them out right now.

Skipper?

Help me get this plate away from him, huh?

[Hoots]

Will you get it yourself, gilligan?

I want to try out these new nails.

But, skipper--

Oh!

There's another hole I have to fix in the hut.

It's the new plate that mary ann made.

Gilligan, why don't you try

To give him something he'll like better?

That way, you can get the plate away from him.

Good idea. Yeah. Here. I'll offer him a banana.

Here. See this nice banana?

Trade you the banana for the plate.

Look, it's really good. I'll take a bite myself.

Ow!

Ooh!

Skipper, the bananas have pits in 'em.

Gilligan, bananas don't have pits.

Your head maybe, yes, but not bananas.

This one does. Look. Pits.

Gilligan, little buddy,

Those aren't pits.

You lost fillings.

What do you know?

Now I have % more cavities.

Oh, I'm so real sorry about that, gilligan.

Let's get the professor to look at your teeth.

Where'd that monkey go with the plate?

What difference does that make?

I don't care if he makes a flying saucer out of that plate.

Now, come on, gilligan.

Don't be afraid.

I wouldn't let anything happen to you.

You sure you won't?

I promise.

Good. Then, you sit there.

Gilligan, you're a very fortunate young man.

Why, that plastic you found

Will make excellent fillings for your teeth.

Isn't it too soft for fillings?

Why, it's soft now, but once it hardens,

You'll be able to chew your head off.

Come on. Open your mouth like a good boy.

Start pedaling.

Imagine pedaling to drill your own teeth.

Gilligan, start pedaling.

Faster, faster. That's good.

You just keep pedaling

While I get your teeth ready for the new fillings.

Open wide.

Fillings are all in,

And that didn't hurt one little bit, did it?

Yes, it did.

Your teeth hurt?

No, my legs.

I got charley horses in both of them

From pedaling.

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪

♪ Which nobody can deny ♪

Here, gilligan, your very first serving on a brand-new dish.

Ginger: and thanks for the beautiful jewelry, gilligan.

I feel like one of the gabor sisters.

It was nice of you to paint my golf ball.

It makes it look so official.

Oh, and, gilligan, about my nails,

I really thank you for 'em.

I haven't got to use them yet,

But they'll come in real handy.

Ooh, gilligan's little friend has come to join the party.

I think he's here after my golf ball.

[Hoots, screeches]

The golf ball, it exploded!

A golf ball doesn't explode.

It was just plastic.

Plastics don't explode.

But plastic expl*sives explode.

Ginger: my jewelry!

My golf ball!

My nails!

My dishes!

My teeth!

My goodness!

Well, professor?

Well, the fillings have hardened.

If I try to pull the teeth, they'll explode.

What happens if you drill?

They'll explode.

Some choice.

We'll have to figure some other way to remove the fillings.

In the meantime, you've got to be very careful.

Don't bite down on anything.

That's easy.

Don't even put your teeth together.

That's easy.

Don't trip or bump into anything.

That's impossible.

Just relax while I think of some other way

To remove those fillings.

Ok, professor.

Don't trip or bump into anything, right?

Don't bite down hard.

Don't let my teeth come together.

Please, little buddy.

Now, be careful, won't you?

He'll be all right, skipper.

After all, I told him to be careful.

Professor, my little buddy's a human time b*mb.

You saying that is like telling a turkey

To be careful before thanksgiving.

I just wish he hadn't found that plastic.

That reminds me, have you gotten rid of those nails?

Yes. I buried them somewhere where nobody will ever find them.

Good.

Mary ann, be careful.

Oh, I am. I'm being careful.

Be extra careful.

Otherwise, I'm going to be the new--venus de milo.

Now, hold still.

You'll get your ears pierced the hard way.

Ooh. I'm gonna go see the professor.

Maybe he thought of a way to help gilligan.

Well, I'm going to go see gilligan.

I've prepared him some food.

He must be starved.

Careful what you give him.

The simplest meal could mean a big blowout.

Mary ann, I'm afraid to eat anything.

Mary ann: gilligan, you have to eat to keep up your strength.

You won't have to chew though.

I chopped up everything very fine.

My hand's shaking so much,

What if it hits one of my fillings and--

That's why I'm feeding you.

You don't have anything to worry about.

If I don't have anything to worry about,

How come you're feeding me from way, way, way back there?

I don't want to take any chances.

Gilligan, open up.

Pretty good. What is it?

Well, I mashed up some halibut,

Some flounder, and some tuna.

Fish mash!

Gilligan, that's very funny.

You have a good head on your shoulders.

Let's keep it that way, huh?

Lovey, I told you I got rid of the golf balls.

There's no need to worry.

But, thurston, when I think of the danger we were in.

We came very near golfing ourselves to death.

If it hadn't been for that monkey taking the ball,

We'd have been k*lled.

Yes. You're so right. After we're rescued,

I must do something nice for him,

Like buy him his own banana plantation.

I can think of something he'd like more than that.

Buy him his very own organ grinder.

In this container is the juice of the triganella berry.

Now, this berry juice has a heavy aromatic scent,

Comparable to a crude form of ether.

When I start the flow,

The anesthetic will travel through this tube,

Drop by drop...

Until it reaches this cup,

Which fits right over your nose.

Then I'll be able to pull both your teeth,

And you won't feel a thing.

That's great, professor.

And it would work, except for one thing.

What's that?

I'm getting out of here.

Gilligan,

If you want to get rid of the filling,

We have to pull out the teeth.

You can't go through life with a mouthful of expl*sives.

Why not? I'm always sh**ting off my mouth.

I promise you won't feel a thing.

Now, ginger, let's make sure we have everything.

Towel.

Towel.

Cotton.

Cotton.

Pliers.

Pliers.

Pliers!

Gilligan, the pliers have been sanitized.

They've been cleaned, they've been boiled,

And they've been scoured.

Could you do one more thing? What?

Lose 'em! Lose 'em!

Relax, gilligan.

Now, ginger, start the anesthetic.

Yes, sir.

The anesthetic has been turned on, sir.

Good. Now breathe deeply,

Close your eyes,

And start counting.

By the time you've counted to ,

You'll be fast asleep.

[Muffled] , ...

, ...

Oh, that's very good, gilligan.

You'll be asleep before you know it.

Asleep in no time.

, , ...

, , .

Am I asleep yet, professor?

Professor?

Ginger, he--

Ginger?

, ...

There, now that'll keep you nice and warm.

I know why you're doing that, skipper--

In case I get cold during the night

And my teeth chatter and I go bang!

You're not going to go bang.

Boom!

Not boom either.

[Imitates expl*si*n]

Would you cut that out?

Now, nothing's gonna happen to you.

Get a good night's sleep, and everything'll be ok.

A good night's sleep, and I'll blow up.

You know I grind my teeth when I sleep.

You don't have to worry about that either, gilligan.

The professor fixed this nice little mouthpiece

Out of tree gum. Put it in your mouth,

And it'll keep your teeth from coming together.

[Mumbles]

I can't understand you.

What did you say it was made of?

Gum.

Next time, ask professor to make it tutti-frutti.

Tutti-frutti, yes.

Would you put that in your mouth and go to sleep?

A good night's sleep,

And everything'll be ok.

[Mumbles]

[Snoring]

[Bubble pops]

[Screeches]

Skipper! Skipper!

Oh, skipper, I've done it!

I've blown my head off!

Eww, what a mess!

Oh, skipper, don't look!

Don't look! It must not look too nice.

Gilligan, you're all right! You're all right!

Now, stop thrashing around, or you will explode!

I did explode! I did explode!

What a minute. How can i--

I didn't explode. I can hear you.

If I blew my head off, I wouldn't have my ears.

So, then, I didn't explode.

What was that expl*si*n?

There wasn't any expl*si*n.

[Hoots]

Aah! Aah!

That was an expl*si*n.

Gilligan blew up!

Oh, poor gilligan. Oh!

Over here!

Nice catch, skipper.

He's all right!

Oh, look! The monkey!

Aah! Oh!

Crazy monkey.

Thurston, don't just stand there! Run!

A howell never runs in the face of danger.

[Boom] oh!

He walks very fast.

[Boom]

[Screeches]

[Boom] oh!

The rest of you, come here,

Under the rock with lovey and i!

Ooh! Oh!

Oh, mr. Howell.

Under the rock, that's right.

[Boom] oh! Oh!

[Screeches]

Gilligan, get back here with lovey!

Over here! Over here!

Aah!

Lovey, take cover!

[All shouting]

Let me go first!

It's all my fault.

I'm gonna get the stuff away from him.

Gilligan, you can't go out there!

I've got to before he blows somebody up.

Skipper: you've got expl*sives in your teeth.

[Screeches]

Got to get that monkey off that roo--roo--

Roof--ah-choo!

[Screeches]

Oh, the little monkey, he's safe.

He's such a game little trouper.

What happened, professor?

It was your sneeze, gilligan.

My sneeze?

Yes, you sneezed so hard,

Your fillings blew out and hit the ceiling.

Blew the monkey up in the air and solved the problem.

What's wrong, gilligan?

Nobody said, "gesundheit."

Skipper: gesundheit!

Ha ha! Little buddy, you're all right!

All right, gilligan, stop pedaling now.

Both fillings are finished.

Professor, you're a genius.

Anyone who can melt down a couple of pennies

And use 'em for fillings in teeth is an absolute genius.

Thanks, professor, for putting your cents' worth in.

Very good, gilligan. Aah! Oh, look!

Ooh! Whoa!

[Monkey hoots]

Gilligan, would you please try to control

That monkey friend of yours?

That's one of our very best plates he broke.

[Sighs]

♪ Now this is the tale of our castaways ♪

♪ They're here for a long, long time ♪

♪ They'll have to make the best of things ♪

♪ It's an uphill climb ♪

♪ The first mate and his skipper, too ♪

♪ Will do their very best ♪

♪ To make the others comfortable ♪

♪ In their tropic island nest ♪

♪ No phone, no light ♪

♪ No motorcars, not a single luxury ♪

♪ Like robinson crusoe ♪

♪ It's primitive as can be ♪

♪ So join us here each week, my friends ♪

♪ You're sure to get a smile ♪

♪ From stranded castaways ♪

♪ Here on gilligan's isle ♪