LEX:
Kryptonite, the ultimate bane to Superman.
If it were only as big as my head.
[SCOFFS]
I spent two years and $ billion
mining outer space...
...and this green grain of rice is
all I have to show for it?
Eh, it's a pretty green.
Unless I have enough of it to make
Superman's head explode, Mercy, my dear...
...it's not the kind of green
that interests me.
LexCorp bleeds millions every time
the Man of Steel...
...thwarts my covert plans to
achieve world domination.
What does he have against
free enterprise, anyway, hmm?
And every day that Superman's
popularity spikes...
...mine drops another rung
down the sewers of Metropolis.
Well, I think you're amazing,
Mr. Luthor.
I pay you to think I'm amazing, Mercy.
But market research shows
it doesn't matter...
...how much money Lex Luthor
pumps into this economy.
People only respond
to amazing heroes. Huh.
So today LexCorp unveils
a new breed of hero.
Up, up and away above Metropolis,
to defend our city, our world...
...against wayward meteors
and alien threats.
The Lex : Because even Superman
can't patrol Earth's orbit / .
The LX supercomputer indicates
the bogey may be space debris.
TECHNICIAN: Uh, that debris
just hung a hard right toward Earth.
[BEEPING]
Uh, let's put Lex to the test.
Velocity is off the charts. Impact in--
I know the when, just give me the where.
Uh, here. It's heading straight for us.
[ALARM BLARING]
[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
[ALL YELL]
[YELLS]
TECHNICIAN:
Let's get out of here.
Data. Billions of bit streams.
I think I shall help myself.
Brainiac just h*jacked Lexlabs.
If he's gonna cr*pple Metropolis
by crashing all our computers like last time...
...whose front page
am I gonna read it on first?
I'm on it, chief.
Just need to make a pit stop.
[STAMMERS]
Uh, but my hands are still wet, Ms. Lane.
LOIS: Dry them on your socks
and grab your camera, Jimmy.
If Kent beats us to another scoop,
I've officially lost my mojo.
Buckle up.
Mr. Luthor, sir.
Brainiac just crash-landed at Lexlabs.
[STAMMERS]
But Lex ...
Shall I fetch the limo?
SUPERMAN:
Brainiac.
It's time to log off.
But I hunger for knowledge,
son of Krypton.
And knowledge is power.
[BEEPING]
[BEEPING]
You may want to attend to that.
Whoa. He's going the other way, Ms. Lane.
What are we gonna do?
Get another angle on things.
PERRY:
Why can't you be more like Kent?
He never whines.
Heck, half the time, I don't even know he's here.
[GASPS]
You better get the fear.
Be a real newsman, or there's the door.
[WHIMPERS]
[GRUNTS]
Huh.
[GRUNTS]
Oh, Ms. Lane, you know something
bad's gonna happen.
Why do you always have to
put yourself in these situations?
He's why, Jimmy.
BRAINIAC:
Upload complete.
Another small step in my evolution
toward becoming the ultimate intellect.
And information is most valuable
if I am the only one who possesses it.
Were the only one.
Nice try, son of Krypton...
...but I am now equipped to go one better.
[BEEPING]
[GRUNTS]
It may not be kryptonite...
[GRUNTING]
...but its power cannot be denied.
[LAUGHING]
I am so happy.
[LAUGHS THEN GASPS]
No, wait.
- I'm sad.
- Sir?
Lex is supposed to bust up meteors,
not Superman.
News of this could ruin me.
Well, can't b*at ringside.
Mercy, microwave some popcorn.
[BEEPING]
[GRUNTING]
Oh, boy.
[SCREAMING]
[WINCES]
[GRUNTING]
Ms. Lane!
[CABLE SNAPS]
[GASPS]
[GRUNTS]
[BEEPING]
[GRUNTING]
Help! Help!
[BEEPING]
How ironic. Brought to your knees
by a device...
...intended to drive the likes of me away.
With you deleted, son of Krypton...
...nothing can stop me from draining
your planet dry of all its data.
JIMMY:
Help! Help!
I think I shall enjoy hurtling humankind
back to the Dark Ages.
Ooh. Brain freeze.
[POWERS DOWN]
[SCREAMING]
Ms. Lane, you really need
to be more careful.
[LOIS SIGHS]
You always catch me when I fall,
Superman.
Besides, how else am I supposed to
get to know you better?
Brainiac and Lex made quite a team.
They were yay close to offing
the big blue boy scout.
Until Superman brained Brainiac.
[HARDWARE HUMMING]
Or did he?
Please, please, sh**t my good side.
Didn't know you had one.
Touché, Lane.
[CHUCKLES]
Welcome, Superman.
I'd offer you a latte, but Brainiac seems to
have busted up our refreshment station.
Mr. Luthor, care to comment about
the operation of your so-called meteor buster?
Hey, hey, hey, I just build the stuff.
How intergalactic scum choose to use it is
another matter. Isn't that right, Superman?
If it had done its job
and sh*t down Brainiac in the first place...
...we wouldn't be having
this conversation.
Oh, pshaw.
New technology always
requires fine-tuning.
[CAMERA CLICKING]
But the real question is,
who's gonna pay for this mess?
Thanks to you, Superman,
Brainiac's in no condition to cut me a check.
[CHUCKLES]
Nope, no signs of life here.
PERRY: Kent, you're one heck of a journalist,
maybe my best.
You meet deadlines
without breaking a sweat...
...and without putting yourself
in harm's way like Lane.
I'm not sure how you pull it off.
Well, guess I just keep my eye on the story
and my fingers on the typewriter keys.
Kent, I wish you'd reconsider my offer
to be our foreign correspondent.
Branch out. It's the Daily Planet, after all.
Oh, I don't know, Mr. White.
I'd hate being so far away
from home base, from the g*ng.
What are you, in kindergarten?
I suggest you worry about being far from home
when you decide to settle down.
JIMMY [CHUCKLES]:
Whoa.
- Mercy.
- Nice collection you got there, Jimmy.
Which do you recommend
I use for my story?
Um... This one's my favorite.
Get over her, Jimmy. She'd eat you alive.
Sarah's really more your speed.
Sarah? That geek?
We don't have anything in common.
You both work for the newspaper.
- She's the food critic.
- Free meals.
You'd never have to pick up the check.
I like cheeseburgers and chili fries.
She likes chichi.
It's her job to like chichi.
You know what they say, Jimmy:
Beauty isn't skin-deep.
[JIMMY SCOFFS]
Look who's talking,
Miss Only-Has-Eyes-for-Superman.
LOIS: I won't deny there's something about
a flying man in tights that gets me tingly...
...but when you look into someone's eyes
and get that connected feeling...
...like somehow
you've always known them...
...that's when you know it's right.
So, Jimmy, get past the glasses, huh?
[CLEARS THROAT]
Hey, uh, someone mention chili fries?
Uh, yeah, about four hours ago.
Well, you two have fun.
I have a Superman story to finish.
Check out my snaps, Mr. K.
Mercy may work for the dark side...
...but I think that just adds
to her dangerous allure.
I wouldn't know, Jimmy.
She's not exactly my type.
[LAUGHING]
Hello, anyone home?
BRAINIAC:
What? Where am I?
Oh. I was hoping his first words
would be "Dada."
BRAINIAC:
Where are you?
And Lex Luthor gave him sight.
BRAINIAC: Lex Luthor?
- In the flesh.
BRAINIAC: I know of you through my--
- Acquisition of knowledge...
...through my patented Lexlabs
supercomputer, yada, yada, yada.
BRAINIAC: Your tone conveys a familiarity
that has not yet been earned, Lex Luthor.
You know,
it's just that kind of braggadocio...
...that got you brained to bits
in the first place.
BRAINIAC:
By the son of Krypton, yes.
I'm feeling the love here. Are you?
Brainy, babe, you and I are both
muy simpatico.
We're both into the world-domination thing...
...and we both despise
the superpowered boy scout of Metropolis.
BRAINIAC:
If you have a point, make it.
I can provide you
with the ultimate opportunity...
...to annihilate Superman.
BRAINIAC: And in return?
You allow me to publicly avenge
the Man of Steel.
[CHUCKLES]
Put on a big show, playing hero,
chase you from Earth.
Then you take over some other world
far away...
...and leave the domination
of this one to me.
- We both live happily ever after.
- The end.
[BEEPING]
BRAINIAC:
We make strange allies, Lex Luthor.
But giving up Earth is small sacrifice
for ridding the galaxies of my mortal enemy.
Let's rebuild you, partner.
BRAINIAC: I am a biotechnic entity.
All that I require
is proximity to technology...
...to incorporate into my very being.
Hey, I didn't mean
to step on any proverbial toes.
But if that's the case...
...I suggest that we incorporate you...
...with something other
than a toaster oven this time.
Something with a little more...
...muscle.
MARTHA:
Clark, is something troubling you?
You hardly touched
your chicken and dumplings.
Yeah, you usually have
at least six helpings.
I'm watching my carbs, Mom.
Well, we're sure glad you flew home
for the weekend, son.
Since you've been in Metropolis,
we barely see you.
Figured it was work keeping you busy.
Or a lady. Unh.
- Any thoughts about settling down'?
- On Earth?
Oh, I'm here to stay.
[MARTHA & JONATHAN CHUCKLE]
Lois has been on my mind. Again.
Oh. How are things, you know,
going with her?
As Superman? Dandy.
But she can't seem
to look Clark Kent in the eye.
Well, maybe it's the spectacles.
Ever consider getting
that new-fangled laser surgery?
Heh. He doesn't need glasses.
Right, right, x-ray vision. I knew that.
Look, Lois is a cr*ck reporter.
Best there is.
It's only a matter of time
before she gets past the glasses...
...sees through my disguise.
I'm concerned she won't ever trust me...
...or Superman again.
I need to tell Lois the truth.
So, what's keeping you, Clark?
- You got our support.
- Mm.
I have powerful enemies who would give
anything to find my weak spot.
If any one of them were to discover
what Lois might learn...
...that Clark Kent is Superman...
Well, I can't knowingly put Lois...
...put anyone I care about,
in that kind of danger.
Son, we know you're Superman,
and we're just fine.
Clark, if there's one thing we've learned
since being blessed with you...
...a risk is worth taking if it's for love.
LEX: Since you've already h*jacked
Lex once on your own...
...I have an a*t*matic alibi.
You just build the stuff. Heh.
BRAINIAC:
Enough dallying.
My biotechnic-grafting process
requires an incubation period.
Hold your horses, Brainy.
We have a couple of extras
for your travel kit. One:
BRAINIAC:
Kryptonite.
A smidgen, but who knows?
Combined with your new firepower...
...it might be just enough
to kick things up a notch.
BRAINIAC:
And second?
We took a swab off your shiny little dome...
...and guess what turned up.
Your IQ.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
[BEEPS]
[CLEARS THROAT]
Seems Super-Duperman
clocked you so hard...
...he left a little something
for you to remember him by.
A strand of DNA.
BRAINIAC: With the Kryptonian's DNA,
I can lock on to his energy signature...
...track him wherever he may be.
That's right, partner. Heh.
Superman may run
faster than a speeding b*llet...
...but he can't hide.
[BEEPING]
See you at Superman's funeral.
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
[ALARM BLARING]
[SIRENS WAILING]
- Night.
- Hasta la vista.
See you in the a.m.
PERRY:
Not so fast.
Kent, need you to cover for Sarah tonight.
She just called in sick.
Lovesick. Ha, ha.
No, ate some bad clams.
You'll be reviewing
Lamont Laboe's new hot spot.
Ooh. Trés chichi.
But, Perry, I don't know
the first thing about how to--
Lane, the reservation's for two.
Help the man out.
Hungry?
Once again, I am reborn.
[ELEGANT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]
[CROWD CHATTERING]
- I didn't know it was gonna be so...
- Dark?
Welcome to Le Chateau Laboe...
...the most romantic
dining experience in Metropolis.
Are we celebrating
an anniversary tonight?
Honeymooning?
Ah, dating.
- Um, heh, actually, we're, uh...
- Critics.
So let's keep things professional, huh?
Mm.
I love to dine surrounded by beauty.
After I make a show of mopping up Brainiac
with one of my patented Lexosuits...
...I'll be the new boy scout
of Metropolis.
And the m*llitary will finally beg
to pay you top dollar for them.
Hmm. You're learning, Mercy.
Now, parmesan, por favor.
Sir, mission control
has lost all contact with Lex .
It vanished.
It's showtime.
[CROWD CHATTERING]
WOMAN:
Well, no, no, I'm sure...
- Ew.
- Calamari not your thing, Smallville?
Ha, ha. I'm percent corn-fed.
If it's not Mom's
chicken and dumplings...
Well, I'm glad there's squid on the table.
My pen just ran out of ink.
[CHUCKLES]
You know, Lois, I never pegged you
for such a romantic.
I mean, with Jimmy.
Playing matchmaker and all.
I just hate seeing people
miss opportunities.
Life's too short, you know what I mean?
I think I'm starting to.
So I meddle in Olsen's affairs.
What's your story, Kent? Seeing anyone?
I'm waiting for a special someone
to take notice of me.
Kent, why so mild-mannered?
You shouldn't be afraid
to tell a girl what's on your mind.
I mean, you're kind, intelligent...
...good-looking, well built...
What is it, Lois?
For a moment, you...
...reminded me of someone I know,
that's all.
[BEEPING]
Lois, this is hard for me.
Maybe harder than anything
I've ever had to say.
But there's something I need to tell you.
BRAINIAC:
Son of Krypton.
Yes, Clark?
You have something right here.
Oh.
[GRUNTS THEN GASPS]
- Son of Krypton.
SUPERMAN: I'm here, Brainiac.
Clark? Clark?
[GRUNTING]
BRAINIAC: I have been keeping pace
with current trends in technology.
And I have upgraded
with one goal in mind:
your destruction.
[GROANS]
[LAUGHS]
LOIS: Chief, trust me.
This is one restaurant review...
...you'll want plastered on the front page.
All I need is my ace photographer.
Hey, wait a sec.
Technology.
MAN:
Enemy engaged.
You cannot hide from me,
son of Krypton.
The more I try to resist him,
the weaker I become.
This time, son of Krypton,
I possess brawn as well as brain.
[GRUNTING]
SUPERMAN:
Huh?
Oh, no.
[CROWD SCREAMING]
[SIRENS WAILING]
Ms. Lane.
Lois. Lois.
Superman, I...
...should be more careful.
[GRUNTS]
[GROANS]
DOCTOR: We're doing everything we can
to keep her comfortable.
PERRY:
She can be comfortable at home, doc.
What's her condition?
We're still running tests, but...
...her blood cells seem to be fusing...
...with traces of metal alloy.
As if she's being galvanized
from the inside out.
We've called in specialists, but...
...if Ms. Lane's blood
continues to mutate at this rate...
...she hasn't much time.
JIMMY:
Superman.
He didn't save her this time, Mr. Kent.
Superman didn't save her.
I need to go away for a while, Jimmy.
But I promise you...
...Superman will do everything
in his power to save Lois.
LEX: Was quite a slugfest
at the new fondue joint last night.
But I'm not sure which I find more tragic:
Superman's corpse
failing to turn up in the rubble...
...or Lane's little mishap.
Maybe she'll think twice next time
she decides to snoop in your business.
If there's a next time.
Hmm. Mercy, send flowers.
We could use the PR.
COMPUTER:
Welcome to your Fortress of Solitude, Kai-El.
Lois has been harmed, and it's my fault.
Brainiac knew I was at the restaurant.
Which means he's either
discovered my identity...
...or a way of tracking me.
COMPUTER: Then I must question the wisdom
in your coming here, Kal-El.
All of Krypton's secrets
could be compromised.
I need to save Lois.
Nothing else matters.
And this is the one time neither my speed
nor my strength can help her.
COMPUTER: My analysis
of Ms. Lane's condition is complete.
Most curiously, I have detected a faint trace
of kryptonite in her bloodstream.
That would explain my weakness.
COMPUTER: Ms. Lane is suffering from a highly
concentrated form of blood-alloy fusion.
What will it take to cure her?
COMPUTER:
There is no earthly cure.
- There does exist a rare substance.
- Where do I find it?
COMPUTER:
Only one place. The Phantom Zone.
[BEEPING]
I must go there.
COMPUTER:
I had expected that, Kai-El.
But listen carefully.
Though the Phantom Zone is prison...
...to the most dangerous criminals
in all the galaxies...
...they will not present
the greatest thr*at to you within it.
I'm prepared to fend off any of its att*cks.
COMPUTER:
Once inside, remain intently focused...
...and above all,
accomplish your mission swiftly.
For the longer you remain in the Zone...
...the more vulnerable
you will be to its effects...
...and the more difficult it will become
for you to find your way back.
The substance which you seek
lies at the heart of the Phantom Zone.
Argonium .
Be sure to obtain enough of it.
As well as cure Ms. Lane...
...Argonium may also serve
to shield you...
...from Brainiac's form
of modified kryptonite.
You cannot hide from me.
[GRUNTING]
[GROANING]
So this is your sanctuary.
Data. Kryptonian data.
The mother lode.
Billions of bits...
...from the great minds
of the extinct planet Krypton.
I shall drain it dry.
The computer only responds to my DNA.
COMPUTER:
Welcome to your Fortress of Solitude, Kai-El.
Yes, it does.
This ends here, with us.
COMPUTER:
DNA recognition override.
Self-destruct mode commenced.
Twelve, ...
No, you would not.
All the knowledge of your civilization, lost?
Better lost than abused.
COMPUTER: --four, three, two, one.
- No!
BRAINIAC:
No energy signature.
At least the son of Krypton is no more.
[GROANS]
I got one heck of a case of food poisoning.
Last time I eat out with Clark.
Where is Clark?
[GRUNTING]
[ROARS]
[SNARLS]
[CREATURE SCREAMING]
Mercy, it's beginning to feel
like somewhere in the world...
...Superman may be history.
[LEX CHUCKLES]
Break out the tiki torches.
We're throwing a luau.
And be sure to invite
all our favorite members of the press.
[PERRY SIGHS]
So here I work on Kent for a year
to be my foreign correspondent...
...and he picks now to take the job.
Then I don't hear boo from him...
...and for the first time ever,
he misses a deadline.
Oh. Still can't reach him.
Maybe his cell can't roam in Uzbekistan.
I can't figure why Kent isn't here,
with Lane laid up the way she is.
Not to mention Superman.
Olsen, you thinking what I'm thinking?
Yeah. Yeah, I am.
Mr. Kent hasn't been too forthcoming.
It's obvious now.
Kent only took the foreign assignment
to get away from here.
From the pain of seeing Lane this way.
She must really mean a lot to him.
[GRUNTS]
Hang on just a little longer, Lois.
[BALL THUMPING]
What the--?
What the--?
Olsen, why are you still here?
Because you told me not to hover
around the hospital.
Gotta give the doctors room to work.
Well, you gotta get your mind off this.
Gotta do something with yourself.
Okay, I'll go to the hospital.
No. Look, kid.
I really should have a reporter
at the Luthor shindig tonight.
- You go.
- But I'm a photographer.
Well, I'm short-staffed.
My ace newshounds are either overseas...
...or on their deathbeds.
[PERRY SNIFFS]
I'll report anything you want me to report,
Mr. White.
It just won't be Ms. Lane's obit,
because she's gonna be all right.
You know she's gonna be all right.
[GRUNTING]
[GASPS]
- Clark?
- Yes.
Yes, Lois.
You mean, you...?
[UPBEAT COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]
[CROWD CHATTERING]
[FEEDBACK SQUEAKING]
[LEX CLEARS THROAT]
Thank you all for coming.
[CHUCKLES]
- You cut quite a rug, Senator Marquez.
- Ha, ha.
LEX:
Try the fiesta dip, Mrs. Mayor.
It'll put hair on your back. Ha, ha.
Is this thing on? Ahem.
Now, the new reports are true.
LexCorp's had a run of rough luck recently.
Heck, we can't even locate
half our satellites.
[ALL LAUGH]
But I want to state for the public record...
...that my company will never cease
in its mission to devote all its resources...
...to the goodwill of Lexopolis--
Uh, Metropolis. Heh.
[CRASHING IN DISTANCE]
CROWD:
Huh?
[CROWD MURMURING]
[ALL SCREAMING]
Do not resist, mortals.
I now control all transmissions.
Metropolis belongs to Brainiac.
And no sign of Superman.
I guess it's time to try on a new suit.
Downtown Metropolis
has come under att*ck!
Well, where is the Man of Steel
when you most need him?
Allow me to put my money
where my mouth is.
Members of the press,
I suggest you grab your cameras...
...and meet me downtown in five.
[CROWD CHATTERING]
Okay. Okay, Olsen, you're a reporter.
So, what would Ms. Lane do?
Get another angle on things.
Well, our big-brained alien ally
couldn't have timed that better.
Now Luthorman smacks him down
while the world watches.
[CHUCKLES]
MERCY:
Get ready for your close-up, Mr. Luthor.
Luthor's working with Brainiac?
What would Ms. Lane do?
Find proof.
My mind is so blown.
I'm alive, with you.
[LOIS GROANS]
Lois, take it easy. You're still weak.
You always catch me when I fall, Clark Kent.
It makes total sense.
I'm such a fool for not seeing it.
And for not ever imagining
I'd be pressing my lips to yours...
...before Superman's.
Heh. I'm, uh, not sure it's the right time, Lois.
Gotcha. You're thinking romantic setting.
Say, a candlelit table back
at Le Chateau?
Lois, now that I know you're safe,
I need to stop Brainiac.
He could find me again, find us.
Clark, you said so yourself:
Brainiac thinks Superman is dead.
We're both safe,
as long as we leave it that way.
I'm willing to live without Superman
as long as I have you...
...the man behind the glasses.
It's not only us, Lois.
All of Metropolis is in danger,
our entire planet.
If I don't stop Brainiac, who will?
Special Ops, Navy SEALS,
that Green Lantern guy.
Something's not right.
Everything is right. Don't you see?
I'm here, Clark, with you,
just like you wanted.
You wouldn't know what I wanted,
not unless I told you or unless--
This isn't Metropolis.
I never left.
No, wait.
Unh. Clark, don't leave me!
You're not Lois, you're a phantom.
Lois is still in Metropolis.
[CLARK GRUNTING]
DOCTOR:
We've done everything we can.
I don't expect her to last the hour.
[CROWD SCREAMING]
LEX:
Hey, lamebrain!
Leave planet Earth now...
...or feel the might
of the new Man of Steel.
Look!
[CHUCKLES]
I destroyed Superman.
Destroying you, Lex Luthor, will be a snap.
[CROWD MURMURING]
Ooh. He really milks the drama.
You're going down, clown!
[GRUNTING]
Come on!
Spread out.
Appreciate the Method acting,
but go easy, fella.
Bad back.
Acting? Did you really think I would ever
hand Earth over to you, Luthor?
Well, actually, Brainy, no.
So remember those goodies
I packed into your shuttle'?
I threw in a little hidden Easter egg called
"self-destruct mechanism."
So nice working with you.
[BRAINIAC LAUGHS]
Huh? Huh?
You underestimate my intelligence.
My biotechnics located your mechanism,
which I deactivated.
Oh, boy.
Now I shall deactivate you.
LEX:
Ow!
[GRUNTING]
[GROANS]
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
[CROWD SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
Come on, get enough coverage, Olsen.
There's bound to be something
incriminating here.
[JIMMY GASPS]
This area is restricted.
I was just, uh,
looking for the little boys' room.
The film.
I'm sorry, you'll have to speak
to Mr. White about that.
Editor in chief of the Daily Planet?
Hmm. You know something, newsboy?
You're kind of cute.
I-- I am?
Too bad I have to break you.
[BOTH GRUNT]
[BOTH GASP]
- Look!
- Up in the sky!
It's Superman!
Yay.
What?
[ALL GASP]
The son of Krypton lives?
But how?
Long story, Brainiac.
One I don't have time to share.
[GRUNTING]
[BOTH SCREAM]
[GRUNTING]
Give me that film!
[GROWLS]
Huh?
Oh, no! Aah!
[WOMAN SCREAMS]
[SUPERMAN GRUNTS]
Rooting for you, my man.
[LEX GRUNTS]
[ALL SCREAMING]
[ALL GASP]
No!
[ALL SCREAMING]
[GRUNTS]
CROWD:
Superman!
[CROWD SCREAMING]
[GASPS]
[ALARM BLARING]
[BEEPING]
The reactor's gonna blow!
[GROANING]
[LAUGHS]
[YELLING]
[MERCY GASPS]
[GRUNTING]
[PANTING]
You want your camera, newsboy?
Come and get it.
[GASPS]
[PANTING]
Fun dancing with you, Mercy.
But I will take my camera, thank you.
[GASPS]
Oh! Oh, man.
[ALL SCREAMING]
[ALL GASP]
[ALL SCREAMING]
Whoa. Whoa!
[GRUNTS]
[GRUNTING]
[CAMERAS CLICKING]
[CROWD MURMURING]
Good game, Supey.
You and I make strange allies, but...
In any event, how lucky
for the original Man of Steel...
...that my patented Lexosuit
softened up Brainiac for him, huh? Huh?
[CHUCKLES]
[ALL GASP]
Oh. Huh'?
[LEX GRUNTS]
[AIR WHOOSHES]
So that is what provides
the son of Krypton with newfound power.
No!
[SUPERMAN GRUNTING]
[BEEPING]
[EKG BEEPING]
DOCTOR:
She fought bravely, Superman...
...but there's no more time.
[GROANING]
Clark?
No, Lois.
It's me, Superman.
[CRYSTAL HUMS]
COMPUTER:
Welcome to your Fortress of Solitude, Kai-El.
That is, what remains of it.
I'll rebuild it, with your help.
And Ms. Lane?
A clean bill of health.
Though I came close,
too close, to losing her.
It's best for her safety
if I keep my distance.
It's best for Lois...
...if Clark Kent retires from the Daily Planet.
LEX:
Sure, I got a little banged up...
...but self-sacrifice comes with the territory
when you're Metropolis' protector.
[LEX CHUCKLES]
Uh, me and Superman, that is. Heh.
In fact, you might say I'm Superman's pal.
Actually, I believe that honor belongs
to Jimmy Olsen of the Planet.
What about reports that your bodyguard
assaulted the Olsen kid?
He was trespassing.
Poor girl thought he was a burglar.
Another thing, Mr. Luthor.
This was found within Brainiac's remains.
The LexCorp logo
is inscribed on its underside.
Do you care to comment?
[CHUCKLES]
[WHISPERING]
Mercy, phone my attorneys.
All of them.
Told you Mercy would eat you alive.
Yeah, she's a real tiger.
I failed you, Mr. White. I didn't get the story.
Well, stick to photography, Olsen.
I got one of my ace newshounds back.
Hey, what about lunch?
I think you're covered, Jimmy.
I heard you like cheeseburgers
and chili fries.
Yeah. You betcha.
Where is your other
ace newshound, anyway?
It's not that he didn't wanna be here, Lois.
You know, chief, the thing about Clark...
...you hardly notice him when he's around.
But when he's not...
- Clark!
- I, uh, came as soon as I could, Lois.
Guess I missed all the excitement.
It's good to see you, Clark.
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
White.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Kent, you're back not a moment too soon.
Seems some superpowered imp
calling himself Mr. Mxyz-- Mxyz--
Aw, whatever he's called.
He's causing some kind of cockamamie
topsy-turvy down at the wharf.
Mr. White-- Uh, Perry...
...this is hard for me.
Maybe harder than almost anything
I've ever had to say.
It's about my job.
The reason I returned
was to let you know that...
...I don't think I can work--
[FOOTSTEPS RETREATING]
Lane?
I'm on it, chief.
[WHISTLES]
The wharf. And step on it.
Lane sure lives dangerously.
Yes.
Yes, she does.
Whether I'm around or not.
So, Kent, about the job?
You don't think you can what?
Don't think I can be
your foreign correspondent, Perry.
I was really homesick.
We missed you too, Kent.
I think Lois will be just fine...
...as long as Superman and Clark Kent
are around to look out for her.
Superman: Brainiac att*cks (2006)
Moderator: Maskath3